KogaSteelfang posted...
She's trying to get approved for disability income, as she does have a degenerative disease(bone I think, not 100% certain). She's been out of work for over a year, but the doctors are saying she's still in a good health and should be able to work. Especially since she's gone to college for things that can be remotely, and should be able to work from home.
If the doctors aren't even willing to say she's disabled, the government sure as hell isn't gonna give her benefits for it. She's just lazy and entitled.
Instead, my brother works 40 hours a week, has to put in 40 hours over time a month, and find about 60 hours of time to door dash just to come close to earning enough to cover her spending.
He was here yesterday, and said they have a $700 house payment, water/electricity, and internet bills. Despite earning over $5,000 a month working like he does they still can't afford to pay their bills because of her spending.
She's "in charge" of the finances to make it easier on him, supposedly. Yet, he's locked out of his own accounts and she refuses to let him see where the money goes.
She's the problem, and the ONLY problem. $700 a month on housing and he makes $5000, that's
way more
than enough. He should have never let her control the spending and bank accounts, any primary earner that does this is a a moron, especially when the spouse is a frivolous spender.
He needs to quit door dashing, cut back his overtime hours, and use literally 1/10 of that freed up time to take control of the finances. Working himself to the bone so then he has no time to manage the finances, then she blows all the money and he has to work ever harder, is a perpetual cycle of agony that never ends.
If he can't get back into his bank account (seriously, WTF?), he needs to open a new account in his name only and switch his paycheck deposits to it. Hell, he should have his own account regardless and the joint should be only for shared/living expenses. He really needs to throw out the whole woman and get a divorce, but I'm guessing he won't do that.
They've been asking for us to give the $2,500 for a new car for her. Mom and dad couldn't get that kind of money, cousin refused, so I offered them $1,500 instead. My brother came and picked it up yesterday. To make things easier on him, dad offered to let him use my mom's car. So last night mom got a message from them thanking for giving them the car for free(which wasn't the intention, but apparently was worded badly enough that took it that way).
So, I asked the obvious "If they're taking the car, do I get my money back?" Because at this point it totally sounds like giving them money is the same as burning it, and is already agreed before we knew the situation they were in... Nope! They're keeping the money too.
Don't give them any money! You're right, it's a black hole, and you'll never get the money back. You're just enabling her. And you're the one unemployed now. You need the money more.
Idk, I guess I just never expected to be taken advantage of by him. He's always been the financially responsible one and would never let himself get in over his head. So when they couldn't afford a car, I just figured things were a little tight and I could help them out.
He needs a fucking intervention. I'm serious. He clearly is not financially responsible, letting her control it.
He said he tells her when they buy dinner "This cost me an hour of my life." To try and demonstrate that he works for the money she spends... but he didn't seem to grasp that he took an entire month paycheck from me. >_>
And she apparently doesn't care. That's the point at which anyone w/ self respect would walk. I think I'm starting to understand why you stayed at that job so long. Your whole life you've been surrounded by abuse and just accepted that as "normal". And yes, this is financial abuse.