As a late bloomer with anxiety, depression, and autism, and who missed "normal" milestones due to surgery/medical trauma, I'm right there with you guys.
I'm 26 and haven't done anything I want to. I can't accomplish anything. I don't even want much, but I can never seem to get it. Every day it feels like the system is already built for all of us to fail and I was just unlucky enough to be one of the people who was born in a way that dooms me to being easily tossed aside by society's demands. I've missed out on so much already. But I don't even know what of it is my fault and what isn't. It really hurts because I am an ambitious and passionate person who enjoys so many things, wants to try so many things, wants to work so many jobs, and wants to see and experience so many places -- yet even though God gave me all this amazing nature, they cursed me to never be good enough to actually accomplish any of them. I was made wrong. My worst fear is looking back and having nothing but regrets. What if by the time I finally "figure it all out" I'm too old or don't have enough time to enjoy it?
To be honest, if it wasn't for my love of art and my family keeping me afloat I would just kms
...But I want to keep trying no matter what. Certainly
some
kind of joy awaits me? However small it may be I just want to accomplish one thing, and if I can do that, I can find a way to be happy. Until then I keep taking my 6 medications to get me through each day, go to therapy, cry it out, suck it up, and keep going forward because it's the only direction time goes whether I want it to or not. Even if I feel years younger than I actually am and hate where I live and have no self-esteem and can't get a break from the intrusive thoughts, I'll keep going because the one thing about getting older is that I'm realizing how nobody else knows what they're doing, either. Periods of regrets, "I wish", and hating ourselves are all, unfortunately, just part of the both terrible and beautiful human condition.
I can say 100 negative things about myself but the one thing I know I'm not is a quitter. At the end of the day I still always have that.
Not even going to lie, it's probably going to suck, OP, and you can't make it not suck -- but you can at least make it bittersweet. Use the day to look back at what you have accomplished and set new goals for yourself. None of us are dead yet, we're just depressed, but that doesn't have to be forever.