The concept of not being able to date a friend's ex is immature tbh

Just an extension of possession of a person that people care way too much about. Not sure what's the obsession with "owning" a person, even after you date them.

Guy Code is dumb in general.

I think context is important. If the ex was especially hurtful or they had a nasty breakup, then a friend dating them is like validating their cruelty and also bringing them back into the person's life. In the case of an easy mutual breakup, it might not be a problem at all.

I've never met someone who follows this guy code stuff. It's completely contextual - if the ex wasn't a cock and didn't burn my homie, he's not gonna care if i hit her up

It's less possession and more a consideration of feelings involved. Your friend is someone who you presumably care about and respect the feelings of. Relationships and break-ups result in a lot of pretty strong feelings. And depending on how the relationship ended those feelings can be all over the place.

I feel like if you care about your friend you at least owe it to them to give them a heads up and get a feeling for how they feel about it. You aren't asking for permission, but at least you'll know how they feel about the situation and that they'll hear it from you. If they aren't comfortable with it it doesn't mean don't date the person, but maybe be mindful of what group activities are done and how you hang out with the ex around your friend.

You aren't required to do any of this but part of being friends involves treating people with a care beyond minimal requirements.

I dated my wifes childhood best friend for a few months years ago

the friend is super weird about it, was p awkward at our wedding

It would be weird to do stuff with a girl my friend did stuff with tbh

Bros before gardening tools

More like "this asshole broke my heart, please don't constantly bring them around when I'd like them out of my life"

it's not about possession of the ex, lol.

But if the scenario is more "yeah, we went on about 3 or 4 dates and we didn't click enough" then dating "the ex" should be fair game imo.

well it can feel weird tho.

I don't see it as a possessive concept. Depending on how long the relationship was, or how the breakup went, it could make it hard for your friend to want to be around you.

Like, one of my best friends was married for several years and now they're divorced. He really loves her and would get back with her is he could. I would never try to date her, knowing how much the breakup affected him.

If we're talking "we were together for 2 weeks" high school relationships though. Then yeah it's dumb in those cases.

I never saw the appeal of even being interested in friends exs. Had a buddy that would always try to go after exs, I never knew if he just couldnt find any on his own or if he didnt want to put any effort into it. Just never made sense to me.

And its not guy code or some possession thing, its being a good person.

gatorsPENSbucs posted...

Had a buddy that would always try to go after exs

https://i.imgur.com/Ye3BPmc.png

Obviously there are exceptions, like if the ex was abusive, or if they dated for half a decade and the break up devastated the friend. And if you immediate get with their ex when they're single and lonely it's fucked up.

But in general, no, there's nothing wrong with it, and anyone that gets upset about it (outside of exceptional circumstances like those mentioned about) is a possessive jerk

Is this a thread where we attempt to explain human feelings to a gamer

Background_Guy posted...

Is this a thread where we attempt to explain human feelings to a gamer

lol