What are the benefits of a hatchback?

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I drive one and I still don't know of any benefits

My guess is people are just deathly afraid of being caught dead with a station wagon so they buy "totally not a station wagon" vehicles that are literally just station wagons. Like Hatchbacks and SUVs.

Sure, they aren't technically station wagons. But nobody uses them for offroading or whatever the hell a hatchback is for.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.