I still don't understand cryptocurrency or why it's supposed to have any value

Current Events

Theoretically, distributed computing power such that one "coin" is some measurement of compute that you can then put towards some end (or exchange for actual money I guess)

In practice, it's Lucy with the football convincing people to pump in money and electricity with a "trust us dude it's worth it or will be worth it soon"
Variable General Veeg, at your service