Which of these minor superpowers would you rather have?

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Current Events » Which of these minor superpowers would you rather have?
And why?

So long bio breaks!
If you're not smart enough to survive, you are basically just food for something smarter.
The first one will let me know if my crush likes me
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Irony posted...
The first one will let me know if my crush likes me
What if you find out if your crush thinks youre disgusting, and is only pretending to be nice to you out of being polite? Wouldnt that ruin you?
It's physically impossible for me to be more ruined
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Read 50x faster. I'm already a pretty fast reader. So going from 350 words per minute, to 1750 words per minute that would be pretty quick. I could read Lord of the Rings in roughly 6 hours.
The user formerly known as Ashethan
Reading animals' minds.

That's the only one I like normally that isn't a money-making scheme or related to criminality. Otherwise, it'd be a toss-up between teleportation and the TF2 Cloak and Dagger ability.
Take me down from the ridge where the summer ends
And watch the city spread out just like a jet's flame
Read 50x faster. Id scarf down peer reviewed journals like they're nothing. Id be able to gain knowledge so quicky I could do almost anything
If she said we partied, then I'm pretty sure we partied. I really don't remember. I remember we departed from our bodies.
Either 50x reading speed, or mind reading (about me)

The reading would be incredibly useful, but I'm completely completely sure that I could abuse the mind reading one to make most situations about me. >.>
I do drawings and stuff
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The reading one would be incredibly clutch
THRILLHO
No longer need to pee or poop
he/him/his
Euripides posted...
No longer need to pee or poop

In Belichick we Trust
Who the hell would want an acute sense of smell? That's like the worst one possible. Enjoy smelling everyone's breath, B.O, and smegma, and catching the whiff of a garbage dumpster from a full mile away. Oh, and you'll be able to tell whenever someone is having sex within your vicinity. That'll certainly make family get-togethers fun.
Hyena_Of_Ice posted...
Who the hell would want an acute sense of smell? That's like the worst one possible. Enjoy smelling everyone's breath, B.O, and smegma, and catching the whiff of a garbage dumpster from a full mile away. Oh, and you'll be able to tell whenever someone is having sex within your vicinity. That'll certainly make family get-togethers fun.
But think about all the small things you can find; like you can find lost coins and bills.
Not sure what you would call a non-sexual fetish, but the invisibility does it for me.
evening main 2.4356848e+91
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Printerscape posted...
What if you find out if your crush thinks youre disgusting, and is only pretending to be nice to you out of being polite? Wouldnt that ruin you?

Saves the time and heartache of knowing that she would be using me anyways. I would rather know and be done with it.

Would also be handy in knowing who to avoid, and who to be kind to.
Teleportation could easily save your life, and the ability to bypass all kinds of obstacles and difficult terrain has tons of uses.
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I'll take the super reading. My reading speed is average, but 50 times faster would making reading so effortless.

Ifrit posted...
Read 50x faster. I'm already a pretty fast reader. So going from 350 words per minute, to 1750 words per minute that would be pretty quick. I could read Lord of the Rings in roughly 6 hours.
You forgot a 0 there. You'd go from 350 words per minute to 17,500 words per minute. You'd be able to read the entire trilogy in about 32 minutes
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synth_real posted...
Teleportation could easily save your life, and the ability to bypass all kinds of obstacles and difficult terrain has tons of uses.
But how do you get back?
I picked the last one in retrospect I wish you had put it first
R1R1R1R1R1R1
Printerscape posted...
But how do you get back?
wait an hour?

I think the real sticking point is line of site. Hard to get full use out of max distance in a city

NoxObscuras posted...
You forgot a 0 there. You'd go from 350 words per minute to 17,500 words per minute. You'd be able to read the entire trilogy in about 32 minutes
I feel like at this point you'd only ever be able to read e-books since you'd probably destroy physical books from flipping the pages too fast. you'd be going faster than a page every 2 seconds
THIS IS WHAT I HATE A BOUT EVREY WEBSITE!! THERES SO MUCH PEOPLE READING AND POSTING STUIPED STUFF
The reading one would be sweet.
kirbymuncher posted...
I feel like at this point you'd only ever be able to read e-books since you'd probably destroy physical books from flipping the pages too fast. you'd be going faster than a page every 2 seconds
As someone who only does physical books I do wonder if the limit by which I can turn pages would offset the power too much. I'm assuming the increased reading speed doesn't make me physically turn pages faster ofc.
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Read peoples minds about me. I am an attorney, and this would basically make my job exponentially easier

I wouldnt give up having to pee or poo, because sometimes you can use that excuse to get out of uncomfortable situations
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50x read speed offers the most value by far, assuming I can retain the information like usual. I love to learn, so this is a no-brainer.
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ShadowMan033 posted...
Read peoples minds about me. I am an attorney, and this would basically make my job exponentially easier

I wouldnt give up having to pee or poo, because sometimes you can use that excuse to get out of uncomfortable situations
Im surprised the number of people giving up peeing and pooping. Sometimes, peeing and pooping feels so good.
Flying for sure

considered the teleport but the cooldown ruins it

the no peeing or pooping thing would be clutch but thats not as fun as freaking flying
BLACK LIVES MATTER
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Animal mind reading could be fun. You could become a pretty successful animal psychic and make a good bit of money.

He's all alone through the day and night.
TheGoldenEel posted...
Flying for sure

considered the teleport but the cooldown ruins it

the no peeing or pooping thing would be clutch but thats not as fun as freaking flying
Flying would be fun, but it uses up as much of your stamina as full sprinting. You wouldn't be able to fly for long with that.
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Giving up shitting by itself would be huge, but I'll never give up the chance to fly. I would hafta work on my stamina though. ._.
Hambo's alt.
I would like to understand animals.
I had to take care of my brothers iggy for a while some years ago, and I swear, it had more smarts than is expected out of a "dumb" reptile.
I could see it in his eyes when he was upset, calm, confused, curious etc. but I would've have wanted to know what exactly he was thinking about.
Sigs are rather pointless, except if it's to showcase animation and images.
Thompson posted...
I would like to understand animals.
I had to take care of my brothers iggy for a while some years ago, and I swear, it had more smarts than is expected out of a "dumb" reptile.
I could see it in his eyes when he was upset, calm, confused, curious etc. but I would've have wanted to know what exactly he was thinking about.
Probably food and sex.
NoxObscuras posted...
Flying would be fun, but it uses up as much of your stamina as full sprinting. You wouldn't be able to fly for long with that.
I mean, I can do a high intensity interval on a treadmill for a minute+

flying for a minute at a time is still pretty cool and at that speed you can get a decent distance

still worth it imo
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TheGoldenEel posted...
I mean, I can do a high intensity interval on a treadmill for a minute+

flying for a minute at a time is still pretty cool and at that speed you can get a decent distance

still worth it imo
Fair enough. If I got the power to fly I'd want to be able to fly for hours at a time, so that caveat ruins it for me lol
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Talk to animals
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NoxObscuras posted...
Flying would be fun, but it uses up as much of your stamina as full sprinting. You wouldn't be able to fly for long with that.
With that limitation, it's functionally little better than the teleportation option, because if it's not within line of sight you probably won't have the stamina to fly to it. Teleportation would get you to higher places unless you put a lot of training in, without the danger of getting too tired before reaching safety so you don't become a modern version of the flight of Icarus.
"I'm the straightest guy on this board. I'm so straight that I watch gay porn." - Smarkil
synth_real posted...
With that limitation, it's functionally little better than the teleportation option, because if it's not within line of sight you probably won't have the stamina to fly to it. Teleportation would get you to higher places unless you put a lot of training in, without the danger of getting too tired before reaching safety so you don't become a modern version of the flight of Icarus.
Yeah, it would be more useful if TC said jogging. Sprinting means your max running speed, so it would be hard to increase the duration of that
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Does not needing to use the restroom anymore come with not having to worry about digestive issues too including colon cancer? If so, this one hands down.

If not, I guess teleportation. The rest of the abilities are awful aside from the reading fast one.
The ability to say "I am a great magician...your clothes are red!" and have it actually mean something is too good to pass up.
Simple questions deserve long-winded answers that no one will bother to read.
Reading is like the only really good one
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Reading animal minds. There are plenty of applications but it would be very good to be able to catch any health issues for my cats early.
No more shall man have wings to bear him to paradise. Henceforth, he shall walk.
masterpug53 posted...
The ability to say "I am a great magician...your clothes are red!" and have it actually mean something is too good to pass up.
*Changes the color of one person's shirt*

"Thank you, you've been a wonderful audience! Good night!"

*Leaves*
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Printerscape posted...
Probably food and sex.
There were moments where I put a dish of fresh veggies before him and he completely ignored it.
I would have wanted to know why.
Sigs are rather pointless, except if it's to showcase animation and images.
tripleh213 posted...
Reading is like the only really good one
For most people, it'll only ever enable them to read ALL the social media, they would need to be able to actually do something with all that information, and anybody who's ever tried cramming for an exam knows you can totally overwhelm yourself. The ability doesn't change your mental acuity or memory at all, so you can read all the books in one day but good luck remembering it all properly. Going too hard could really turn your head into a jumble of unconnected trivia as you struggle to remember the important things you need.

There's also the fact that most people are not intellectuals, so if they're lacking in critical thinking and reading comprehension skills, they could just end up going down some weird internet conspiracy theory rabbit hole or something and fill their head with nonsense and go crazy. At least with that one, most of the worst garbage seems to be youtube videos and not written because it's marketed to an audience that doesn't read. Everyone with internet access already has the world's knowledge at their fingertips at any time they want to look it up, and the vast majority of people already do not utilize it for anything useful.

Unless you're already the type of person who spends a significant amount of time researching a particular topic, this is not an ability that will have a noticeable positive impact on your life.
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Line of sight teleportation

I'm a Taurus. Currently playing: Oldschool Runescape. He/Him
Read animals minds. I'd love to know what my dogs and cats are thinking. We'll maybe not the cats. I thought about the 50x reading thing but I can read 1000 words a minute. Reading 50x that and faster would run the joy I get from reading.
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LightningThief posted...
Does not needing to use the restroom anymore come with not having to worry about digestive issues too including colon cancer? If so, this one hands down.

If not, I guess teleportation. The rest of the abilities are awful aside from the reading fast one.
Yea, no problems with any peeing or pooping issues. You will never have any diseases related to it or desire to pee/poop.
Printerscape posted...
Yea, no problems with any peeing or pooping issues. You will never have any diseases related to it or desire to pee/poop.
If you had said that from the beginning, that makes this a more interesting choice, especially for people with a history of colon or bladder cancer, they can instantly eliminate their biggest potential cause of premature death from a disease that can have lasting impacts on your life if you survive it.
"I'm the straightest guy on this board. I'm so straight that I watch gay porn." - Smarkil
Printerscape posted...
Yea, no problems with any peeing or pooping issues. You will never have any diseases related to it or desire to pee/poop.
I choose this hands down. Not needing to worry that is a godsend to me.

(I have digestive issues)
I picked the poop and pee one.

A lot of these have limitations that make them useless (like the teleportation one up to 1 mile radius with clear vision of where you're going. While it's logical to stipulate you must have clear line of sight, who can see for up to a mile?)

Or there's questions made from it. Like, I see most people chose the reading one, however it doesn't guarantee that reading x50 faster means you actually comprehend or retain what you read. For all I know it's just a blur of opening a book and then closing. Not even sure if rereading the same book 100x would help in that situation.

Never needing to poop or pee is useful and practical as that saves me time and I never need to clean my bathroom except for guests. It would save money on toilet paper and I'd never have need for public restrooms, which are typically a cesspool of bacteria.
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Current Events » Which of these minor superpowers would you rather have?
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