Man my ex is ghosting me about hanging out

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Current Events » Man my ex is ghosting me about hanging out
We broke up like 8 years ago but aren't on bad terms or anything. We had a nice catch up chat like a month ago and she seemed into the idea of meeting up for lunch. We've been trying to coordinate something since, but she keeps forgetting to ask her parents for a ride...?

I guess it feels bad cause it took a lot of courage for me to ask, and I don't really have anyone to socialize with irl. I even got her a small present the last message I sent was a week ago just asking if she was still up for it. I wish she'd just tell me she got cold feet or whatever so we could at least chat still

Making friends as an adult is so damn hard, I want to hang out with people again but i get so fuckin scared around new people
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Exes are exes for a reason.
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Sounds like she keeps getting better offers.

Sorry, king.
Your days are numbered now, Decepti-creeps
Cut her off
What kind of present?
TeaMilk posted...
We broke up like 8 years ago but aren't on bad terms or anything. We had a nice catch up chat like a month ago and she seemed into the idea of meeting up for lunch. We've been trying to coordinate something since, but she keeps forgetting to ask her parents for a ride...?

I guess it feels bad cause it took a lot of courage for me to ask, and I don't really have anyone to socialize with irl. I even got her a small present the last message I sent was a week ago just asking if she was still up for it. I wish she'd just tell me she got cold feet or whatever so we could at least chat still

Making friends as an adult is so damn hard , I want to hang out with people again but i get so fuckin scared around new people

Ive heard so many people say this and I honestly just dont get it. You have more choice and agency as an adult.

Ex or not though, if somebody is ghosting you, move on.
how old are yall? broke up 8 years ago and she still needs rides from her folks?
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haters can't stand me, like they got polio.
Kaldrenthebold posted...
Exes are exes for a reason.

http://i.imgur.com/XAMp8.jpg
mobilebloechel posted...
Why do they need their parents to drive them?
She can't drive (neither can i) and she lives like 2 hours away by bus. I was gonna take the bus and meet her somewhere in the middle

WingsOfGood posted...
What kind of present?
Nothing big lol, just a box of curry roux. She brought up how we used to make it together, and I was telling her about this new brand I really like. I can just eat it myself nbd but I was looking forward to it

rexcrk posted...
Sounds like she keeps getting better offers.

Sorry, king.
I mean I'm pretty sure she doesn't leave the house or have any irl friends either, which is part of the reason I felt comfortable asking :p she has social anxiety and I assume just got scared. Just wish she could let me know

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Honestly, she doesn't seem worth the effort. Nothing wrong with staying friends with an ex if you still get along, but don't put up with someone that flaky.

I think you can make new friends. The hardest part, it sounds like, will be getting out of your comfort zone. Maybe look for some local meetup groups for things you're interested in.
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You should work to make new friends. I had to do that when I was 40 and was recently divorced. Meetup events.
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Weezy_Tha_Don posted...
how old are yall? broke up 8 years ago and she still needs rides from her folks?
Shes 28 im 29. She's like a NEET I guess, she has social anxiety and shit

Glob posted...
Ive heard so many people say this and I honestly just dont get it. You have more choice and agency as an adult.
I guess I found it easier when I was in a public school setting and forced to be around people on a regular basis. I struggled making friends in college and now WFH and barely leave my house. It's not a catch all excuse, but admittedly my physical disability makes it harder to go out and feel confident and stuff
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mobilebloechel posted...
Why can't either of you drive?
Im physically disabled, she has crippling social anxiety unless things have changed

bsp77 posted...
You should work to make new friends. I had to do that when I was 40 and was recently divorced. Meetup events.
U right... i feel like I can barely take care of myself a lot of the time, but I think this is a good idea to work towards
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TeaMilk posted...
Im physically disabled, she has crippling social anxiety unless things have changed
Cut that shit loose and find someone local.
Who is? I am!
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Godnorgosh posted...
My advice, don't fuck with exes hoping for anything good to happen. If your intentions are bad and you want bad things to happen, that's one thing. But ain't nothin' good going to happen getting back in touch with them hoping to rekindle anything. Especially the narcissistic avoidant types.
Well, that's the question, isn't it? What is the intention here?
Currently playing - Dragon's Dogma 2
bsp77 posted...
Well, that's the question, isn't it? What is the intention here?
Hanging out and having an irl friend?

She also wanted to meet my current gf (they are both trans) and it would be nice for her to have some irl support from another transfem. So I thought that would be nice as well >_> we all talked a bit about some places we could go and it seemed pleasant
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TeaMilk posted...
Hanging out and having an irl friend?

She also wanted to meet my current gf (they are both trans) and it would be nice for her to have some irl support from another transfem. So I thought that would be nice as well >_> we all talked a bit about some places we could go and it seemed pleasant
That's cool. It just wasn't clear at first

To be fair, I try to stay friends with exes as well. Usually it works for bit and then they get weirded out. Found out one was still struggling with feelings.
Currently playing - Dragon's Dogma 2
Godnorgosh posted...
My advice, don't fuck with exes hoping for anything good to happen. If your intentions are bad and you want bad things to happen, that's one thing. But ain't nothin' good going to happen getting back in touch with them hoping to rekindle anything. Especially the narcissistic avoidant types.
What lmao you're saying you should only interact with exes if your intention is to hurt them?? Thats some psycho shit I think people can still be freinds... and if you are accusing her of being narcissistic I dont think that's right, she just got scared. Im just annoyed she stopped communicating
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TeaMilk posted...
What lmao you're saying you should only interact with exes if your intention is to hurt them?? Thats some psycho shit I think people can still be freinds... and if you are accusing her of being narcissistic I dont think that's right, she just got scared. Im just annoyed she stopped communicating
I am hoping he just messed up his wording and didn't mean it as it literally read. I hope.
Currently playing - Dragon's Dogma 2
bsp77 posted...
That's cool. It just wasn't clear at first

To be fair, I try to stay friends with exes as well. Usually it works for bit and then they get weirded out. Found out one was still struggling with feelings.
Ohh yeah lol there's no chance of anything romantic, I didnt realize it might come off that way. Im literally just lonely friendwise and I thought she might be too
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Gift might be too much if they are scared
save it for 2nd Meetup
Personally, Id just leave her be, but maybe let her know the doors open in case she needs a friend. Maybe check in on her every once in a while but thats it. She might be wary, she might be going through it and just needs her space, you said she has social anxiety. If she continues to not make contact, you might just have to accept that she doesnt wanna hang out with you and move on. Its tough but thats all you can do really. Save your time and energy.
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Godnorgosh posted...
My advice, don't fuck with exes hoping for anything good to happen. If your intentions are bad and you want bad things to happen, that's one thing. But ain't nothin' good going to happen getting back in touch with them hoping to rekindle anything. Especially the narcissistic avoidant types.

Well, this is unhinged.
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Bummer, but TC is nice af on here. That's her loss. Teamilk is a goddamn delight. She sucks. You rock.
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Yeah, getting ghosted is one of the worst feelings. I would never do it to someone. I'd say just try to forget about it though. Even if she responds down the line, you have to think about if you really want to be friends with someone that would randomly ghost you.
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Current Events » Man my ex is ghosting me about hanging out