KogaSteelfang posted...
Being shot down immediately sounds awful. I can definitely see that happening to me and that scares the hell out of me.
The only time I've ever approached a girl in my life was when I was like 7 years old. She turned me down and that completely broke my heart to the point that I vowed to never tell a girl how I felt ever again. 44 years old now and I still haven't been on a date.
I have severe social anxiety, zero self confidence, zero self worth, zero dollars (no job), no car, no friends, no public places I can go, no real motivation to change anything. I feel like I have absolutely nothing to bring to the table. I still want to believe that my life would be much better if I had a loved one, but I honestly don't see that ever happening in my life time. I don't feel like I deserve anyone. I never go out in public so I'm already eliminating the chance of a woman approaching me. I will never approach a woman.
When I was 18, I did ask a girl out to lunch and she said yes. She was really cute, shy, quiet type. But I could tell a few months prior to that, that she was insanely overly obvious crushing on me. Anytime I happened to see her, she would be looking at me, she would smile, blush, and then turn away as if I caught her starring at me. She complimented my smile a few times. She always went out of her way to be around me as much as possible. It was very obvious she liked me. But the problem was, I was terrified of a relationship and even though I knew she would say yes if I asked her to be my gf, I never did.
I was terrified of rejection and I was terrified of being accepted. So I chose to just take the middle route, and do nothing.
It's still a big regret to this day.
I just caught up reading this entire topic and there is a lot of good insight here (and some bad lol). Thank you al
l for posting.
You and I seem very similar. I am a few years younger than you are(41) but most everything else is similar. I was always too afraid to ask anyone because I felt like I had nothing to offer, and had no value as a person. There's no reason for anyone to choose me over anyone else. I also have severe social anxiety, no confidence or self worth, I do currently have 1 friend though so that's something I guess. And I do have a job, because my family grew up in poverty and I basically had to have one in order for us to eat(we're in a better situation now, but not by a huge margin).
I never had anyone obviously crushing on me like you did though, sorry that didn't work out.
To some of us, it is. This is the part that really disheartens me the most. It's like humanity as a whole has deemed me unfit to connect with.
Not a dig at you or anything, no offense intended here, but... It's also pretty telling when a gay man has an easier time getting women than I do.
I am not offended. And I do realize that putting yourself out there and what not is hard for a lot of people. I would argue that is a problem with the individual though.