AITAH for telling my 19F daughter she will have to move out of my house if i get divorce because of her lies after her stepdad saw her naked.
Throw away account due to the situation but i need to know because I'm getting calls and text from family calling me an asshole for not being on my daughters side.
My husband and i have been married for a little over 5 years now. I will say my daughter 19F and he has an okay relationship not exactly father and daughter but almost advice asked and given relationship basically. I have never picked up on anything weard from my husband towards my daughter and my daughter has never said or insinuated anything at all as well.
On Thursday me and my husband was watching a movie in the living room. We paused the movie as he got up to use the bathroom. I heard him knocking on the door twice. Literally 3 knocks each time on the door a couple of seconds apart. It was loud enough for me to hear him knocking from the living room. The next moment i heard screaming.
I rushed to the bathroom and saw my daughter completely naked covering herself and yelling at my husband that to get out. I didn't see everything that happened but what i saw after i heard yelling was my husband literally fell over his own feet and struggling to get the bathroom door closed. I asked my husband what happened and he said he knocked nobody answered so he went in and my daughter was naked in front of the mirror and he tried to get out.
After my daughter calmed down i asked her side of what happened and she said she was changing and all of a sudden my husband walked into the bathroom. I asked her why she didn't answer him when he knocked, she said he didn't, i told her i heard him knock so i am sure that he did. She said she didn't hear it because she had her earpods in listening to music.
We got the situation sorted and my husband did apologize to her and explained he thought the bathroom was empty and walked in. She even gave him a hug and apologized for yelling at him.
The problem now is my daughter got family members involved and they are now calling my husband a creep. Got a call from my sister berating me for still having my husband in the house. I asked what she meant and i came out that my daughter spun a whole other story and left out the fact that she was listening to music with her earpods and is telling everyone that she answered him and he still walked into the bathroom to look at her.
We have cameras in our hallway and it proves that my husband did knocked as you can see it on the video, but the cameras has no audio.
I sat my daughter down and asked her and she denied saying anything like that or that she told anyone anything i got mad and asked then how does you aunt know what happened and she went silent. She said she talked to her niece about it and she must have told her mother.
I asked her why did she lie about what happened and made my husband look bad when he did nothing wrong she again denied lying about anything and i told her what my sister told me. She just started to cry and say sorry. She was just talking and making up scenarios with her niece.
The whole day yesterday i got calls and text from my family members as the story spread. The wrong story is spreading and my husband is looking like a creep to everyone. I sat my daughter down again and had her read some of the things being said about my husband and told her she has to fix this because her lying is what caused this. She refused saying she didn't spread this and she only told her niece and doesn't want to say anything to anyone because they will think bad about her, she said they know my husband and this will just blow over.
Everything did blow up when my husband walked into the living room with his bags pack and said he is going to stay with his parents for a while because he doesn't want to be in this situation anymore were he is made out to be this kind of person. My daughter broke down and apologized repeatedly and said she will fix it by my husband still left.
I told her if i get divorced because of her lies she will be moving out of my house, i told her she better fix what she did and tell everyone what really happened because i will not be loosing a man that loves and actually cares for me like my husband does over lies. She asked me to help her and i told her no she isn't a child anymore and her lies for attention did this, this is on her. I already tried and I'm now also being accused of taking my husband side and not providing a safe space for my daughter.
I don't know what to do, my husband asked for space and my daughter is inconsolable at the moment, i am not in the best state myself.
Sorry if my post is all over the place. I don't even know if my title is correct on this post. I have reread and reread and it still doesn't make sense to me.
Update: AITAH for telling my 19f daughter she will have to move out of my house if i get divorced because of her lies after her stepdad saw her naked.
Sorry for only updating now but im not in the best of places at the moment and it has taken me a a couple of days to get my thoughts together. I don't know what to do anymore.
My husband has asked for a divorce.
First let me answer a couple of question i saw coming up repeatedly.
We Have locks on every door in the house, i don't know why my daughter didn't use the lock on the door
The cameras inside the house isn't pointed at any door except for the ones pointed at the front door and back door the other camera is at the end of the hall and you can see every door in the hallway from that camera.
We have a bathroom in our room but we can't use it at the moment, the water is completely shut off due to renovation of the bathroom.
My husband has asked for a divorce, on Friday he came back home and asked to talk, during our talk he showed me his phone and some of the things my family members were saying about him was just outright horrible. Calling him a pedo, asking him how many times he has taken a peak before. I don't recognize any of my family any more. I understand if he actually did something but he hasn't and the hatred they are showing over a stupid mistake tell me they refuse to listen or they have hated him from the start and is now using this to try and get rid of him.
He said he can't ever come back and this has now started to effect his work life as well, he was called in to HR to explain because some of my family members have called his office, luckily they haven't done anything and refuse to do anything until a case is brought against him. They know my husband very well and i think they believe him as well because he is still working.
During our talk he explained that he does love me and still does and he is happy i stood up for him but my daughter actions have caused to many problems, accusations and made him scared. He explained he sat at the office and at his parents home everyday just waiting for the police to show up and arrest him.
He said her lies broke him and he can't see a way to come back from it.
I asked him to reconsider and that maybe we can go for counseling but he also refused saying everything is to broken to fix. I told him that i will kick out my daughter and told him about everything i did and told my daughter to do but he said im missing the point. His life could have been completely ruined because of a lie, my family will never trust him again and will always harbor hatred or suspicions about him, especially now that my daughter want to clear things so long afterwards they will think we forced her to do it and that will just make things worse. He said he will always remain the creep in their eyes
I asked him what if i cut off my family and we moved away because i was already working on that, i showed him my phone and the message i have sent ever single person so far that refused to listen and that i blocked them. He asked what about my daughter, i told him again i will be kicking her out and she will be staying with my parents from now on, he asked what if we moved away will i abandon my daughter then because he doesn't want to be near her or be alone with her at all. I didn't know what to say about that.
Before i could answer he said again it's better for us to get divorced. He said i will never ask you to abandon you daughter, i will never expect you to do something like that but i don't want her anywhere near me. If you abandon your daughter i don't know if i could ever look at you the same afterwards even if it was for my sake. The only solution here is for us to get divorced.
My daughter came running down the hallway into the living room, crying i think she was listening to our conversation, before she could get a word out my husband jumped up from the couch and put his hands out and asked her not to get near him. He said before you say anything i will start to record the conversation now and took out his phone, i think i saw something break in my daughter eyes at that moment at the realization of everything hit her all at once.
She asked my husband to forgive her and she never meant for things to get so out of hand she was just making up scenarios with her cousin and her cousin was the one that ran with it, mu husband asked her why didn't she clear it up immediately then. She said she did think it will go this far and thought it will just blow over because everyone knows him. He showed her his phone and asked her to read some of the messages and my daughter went completely silent.
We talked for about 4 hours at the end my husband said he will give us 3 months to move out of the house because it is his house, my daughter can keep the car because it was a gift and that he will finish paying this years tuition but will not pay anything going forward. He said he hasn't gotten a lawyer yet but told me to get one, he will like to do this without lawyer but if i want to i can get one. He said he will be fair in the divorce and doesn't harbor anything against me but he can't stay in the relationship.
My daughter was just sitting on the floor looking like a ghost and i couldn't just say anything listen to him talk about divorce and what will be split and what not like it was nothing. He was talking like the last 5 years was nothing and it was just easy to move on. The best way to describe it was like he was returning something to a store
He left the house and i just sat on the couch i don't know if i was crying, talking or what i can't remember much as everything was muffled around me, until my daughter started to full on crying saying sorry, sorry, sorry over and over again laying on the floor. I don't know how long i sat on the couch but when i got up i saw my husbands car still in the driveway, i looked out of the window and i could see him full on crying in the car. Seeing that completely broke me.
My daughter and i haven't talked since my husband was here Friday not a word to each other. My family members have showed up to the house to apologize because apparently my daughter has all of a sudden now cleared everything up and she herself shared the video from the camera with the family members.
Every time they show up i just close the door in their faces, i have gotten facebook, instagram, calls and text from them and when i block them they keep making new account of use different number's.
I don't want to loose my husband, i really don't. This is the first man o have ever met that has actually treated me with kindness, respect and love and now it's all over. I have tried to talk to him and tried to convince him to go to counseling with me but every time i have tried he sends back i can't, i can't take the risk.
I have tried to meet him in person but he just says it won't be a good idea, i have gone over to his parents house but they refused to let me see him, i have gone to his work to talk to him but i was told he was sent home by his boss.
I truly don't know how to fix this, having my daughter move out now won't work because i need to be out of the house as well. I don't want anything from my husband, i just want him. I haven't talked to a lawyer yet but i don't think i can keep the house, he owned it before we moved into the house.
I really want to fix this, i still want to kick my daughter out of the house but will he still give me a chance to fix it even after what my husband said about me abandoning my daughter and not seeing me the same afterwards.
I don't know anyone, am i really going to loose a wonderful man.
Update 2: AITAH for telling my 19f daughter she will have to move out of my house if I get divorced because of her lies after after her stepdad saw her naked.
Hello everyone.
Been a while and i see a bunch of people asking for updates, i wasn't in the mood and i have been crying myself to sleep every night. I don't know what to do anymore, i lost my husband, family and my daughter.
Thank you to everyone first but it's official i'm getting divorced. I was served with the divorce papers and my husband want nothing to do with us anymore.
I have moved out of the house and i am currently staying with a friend until i can get my life back in order. I have cut completely contact with my family but they still try and get into contact with me from different numbers or from different profiles on FB and Instagram. I don't know how long i can continue to stay with my friend because her life is now being impacted as well with my family members just showing up at her apartment.
I would like to get a different place to stay but my salary won't be able to cover everything i need. My husband or STBXH covered all our bills previously but now i have to do everything myself. My daughter just packed her things a little over a week ago and moved away i don't know where she is at the moment and her friends are refusing to tell me anything.
She tried to talk to my STBXH and he got a restraining order against her, she violated the order and he got her arrested, i don't know what went on in her head i tried to talk to her but she was admitted that she will fix everything but like i said my ex got a restraining order against her and then had her arrested when she kept going to him.
My daughter will have to drop out of college because my ex is now refusing to continue covering anything els for her and retracted his offer to continue paying. He sent me a message saying he's done. I didn't respect his wishes so i had to get out of his house immediately and my daughter also went against his wishes so he is retracting every thing from her as well. She is on her own. He said if i or my daughter continues harassing him he will open up a case against my daughter for defamation.
I don't have enough money for myself at the moment with my job and all the bills so i definitely can't assist her, she packed up in the middle of the night and just left after i told her she will have to drop out and get a job.
My STBXH became completely emotionless and cold the last couple of weeks and refused to talk to me about anything other than anything regarding the divorce. He said he would have been supportive and assisted for a while until i could get on my feet but it clear we only want to use him, his generosity so he is done. He wanted to void the prenup we have but will now follow the prenup to the letter meaning i will basically get nothing in the divorce.
I don't want anything, i just want him back. Even with everything that happened, i still want my husband the kind, caring, sweet man i had i want him back. I need him to come back. I told him my daughter moved out of the house and asked again if we could try and fix our marriage and he didn't even respond.
The last message i got from him was him asking if i signed the divorce papers yet or if i got a lawyer yet to look over the divorce papers. Because he want to be done with this and move on because it's clear to him now that no one in my family me included respected him at all. In that message he also said i should get my family to back off because they are still harassing him with message, calls and email and he is sick of it. If they don't stop het will report them as well.
To the people that keep asking me why i didn't do anything when the lies started to spread i did do everything i could. I was accused of protecting my creep of a husband and the video didn't help because i did send it to some of my relatives but it has no audio so it only shows him knocking and then walking in my daughter said she answered him and he still went in.
Edit.
I forgot how reddit fixates on one thing. The comment about the house i made. I have not intentions of trying to take his house or anything like that it's not my house, i had questions in my previous post about the house and i think i just answered it.
I'm not going to try and take his house, he owns it and has owned it before we got together. I have no right to the house and will not try to take the house.
I hope this clears it up
I don't know anyone, am i really going to loose a wonderful man.
Didn't you make a post about you have to bring a diaper bag and wear dumb dad shirts just so you look like a dad and not some random adult male who kidnapped a childDon't hate on my Dad Patrol shirt.
Assuming this is true, and it most likely isn't.Shit like this does actually happen in real life.
Fair, next.
Assuming this is true, and it most likely isn't.
Fair, next.
Goddamn who cares if it's fake, the topic isn't about using our deduction skills to point out all the reasons why it's fake.
It's to discuss the hypothetical situation posted through the story. What would you do in the situation, who do you support, etc.
It's like some of y'all never played "would you rather"
Goddamn who cares if it's fake, the topic isn't about using our deduction skills to point out all the reasons why it's fake.These ragebait stories reinforce the idea that sexual harassment claims are often overblown or completely fake. It's the boy who cried wolf. Yeah, there's real instances of false claims, but making up a story about one and presenting it as real is a really shitty thing to do. It's just spreading false stereotypes based on nothing.
It's to discuss the hypothetical situation posted through the story. What would you do in the situation, who do you support, etc.
It's like some of y'all never played "would you rather"
My wife and I would be good, that would be all that mattered. Her family is irrelevant to me in that situation.To be fair, it's hard to take a "her family is irrelevant" stance when the family is calling your job and trying to get you fired.
To be fair, it's hard to take a "her family is irrelevant" stance when the family is calling your job and trying to get you fired.
Protip: most aita posts are fakeYep, this included. it's too well crafted and written.
Feels like I saw this on Reddit like 3 years ago.Yeah this is pretty old.
Not to me because it would have no bearing at my job. I say that with full confidence. In this hypothetical we aren't talking about a court case or a filed police report that can bring real consequences into things at some jobs. We are talking about some rando voicing a complaint. My university isn't going to do anything that would put them in the wrong for an improper termination because some person called them and is like "You have a pervert employee" It wouldn't come up in any official capacity at all.That's pretty cool of them then. I know a lot of companies try to get ahead of any accusations and get rid of the employee ASAP.
We have had actual scenarios in the past 27 years I have been at my job where a spouse going through a messy divorce will have an accusation thrown at them or in some cases people who have been convicted in court of some pretty serious things. The university doesn't involve themself in these things outside the university. Especially in the case of accusations.
So they would in fact stay completely irrelevant to me.
Feels like I saw this on Reddit like 3 years ago.Definitely saw this or something nearly identical in recent months. Story sounds very familiar.
That's pretty cool of them then. I know a lot of companies try to get ahead of any accusations and get rid of the employee ASAP.
These ragebait stories reinforce the idea that sexual harassment claims are often overblown or completely fake. It's the boy who cried wolf. Yeah, there's real instances of false claims, but making up a story about one and presenting it as real is a really shitty thing to do. It's just spreading false stereotypes based on nothing.
So, OP is the asshole for fake story. Next.
Moms often take creepy bf's side over their own kids. It's really sad.Considering this was similar to what my friends daughter did. I believed what my friend said what happened.