Anagram ranks anything Mario-related

- Hammer Suit Tier
Paratroopas
Dire Dire Docks (Theme)
Dr. Goomba Tower
Italians: I dunno, man. They gave us spaghetti, lasagna, and the Latin alphabet, but they also gave us fascism and Jersey Shore. This is a mixed bag. But Italian food is the most neutrally acceptable food for sure, it's in everyone's top five, so they at least gave us restaurants that can always act as a neutral ground, so I'd say that mostly redeems them.
Chris Pratt
Triple Jump
SupperMarioBroth
Super Mario Bros.
Beep Block Skyway
Vivian
Hell Valley Sky Trees
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
Shy Guy: It's very strange to me that shy guys still exist, because the role they fill (humanoidish enemies who walk back and forth) is already filled by koopa troopas. It's like a galoomba situation, where every few games, they'll show up again and you'll be like "oh yeah those guys," shy guys show up all the damn time... in the spinoffs and Yoshi series. In the mainline games, though, it's just SMB2. Like, despite the fact that you think of shy guys as one of the definitive Mario enemies, as far as the real games are concerned, they showed up literally one time in 1988. They just have such a strong spinoff presence that they have the veneer of being as important as koopas or boos. Like, seriously, I'm looking at the Wiki, and they're in every single Yoshi game, RPG, Mario Party, Mario Golf, Baseball and Soccer, half of the Mario Karts and Tennises, and in every Smash except the first one. I honestly did not realize until just now that shy guys are basically the Daisy of Mario enemies, they seriously have zero presence in any of Mario's actual adventures whatsoever.
Valentina
Smash 64 Commercial
Pirahna Plant (Smash Bros)
Mysterious (Mario Paint): See, THIS is perfect space music. Pay attention, Mario Galaxy music, this is how you do it.
Mini-Yoshi (TTYD)
Koopa Bros: At first, I was going to rank Koopa Troopas, then I realized this was a specific group. I... I played Paper Mario like a million times as a kid, as I've already mentioned, and I don't remember these guy at all. But the idea of parodying the TMNT with Koopas is solid. It's kind of a shame they don't take it all the way, with giving all of them different weapons and naming them after some kind of historical theme. But yeah, this is one of those things that just sets Paper Mario apart from the mainline games. It's allowed to make weird references that require way more explanation. The mainline Mario games rarely have things that reference stuff outside of the Mario series, right? I'm not forgetting anything obvious? All I can think of is FLUDD being vaguely like the ghostpacks in Ghostbusters.
Tubular: I didn't have access to the internet consistently in the mid 90s, and I didn't have a strategy guide or the instruction manual. So imagine my surprise when I figured out how many hidden levels there are in SMW. I was absolutely not good enough at the game to beat the special levels, among which was this one... except then I realized I could cheese a lot of them with the Blue Yoshi. I know this level has some infamy as one of the craziest and most challenging, but honestly, whatever. It's fun. I'm sure I could beat it today if I wanted to. I'm glad they tried weird ideas even back then, but like... this isn't the definitive Mario level to me or anything, it's just a mildly fun and interesting one.
Fawful
Axem Rangers: I remember finding these as a kid and being like "was that a goddamned Power Rangers joke?" And the answer is sort of no, because it's just parodying sentai in general. But as a kid, I didn't know what that was, so I interpreted them as just being a riff on the Power Rangers. They are... fine. Completely fine. I feel like this might have been the first time in any game where I encountered a team of enemies who each have their own team-based abilities, like you have to take out Axem Pink early to stop her from healing the others, etc. It's kind of interesting that Mario has never encountered like an Anti-Mario in any of his games, you know? Where you'd have a boss fight against another platformer guy you have to chase and jump onto. The closest thing is Bowser Jr in SMS.
Mario Lemieux
Swapping Cartridges
Tanooki Suit: THIS is the other flying power-up I forgot. As a kid, I remember being very confused by this and the relation between raccoons and flying. Is this... is this the most overtly Japanese thing in Mario? Like, I know that there are samurai shy guys in one of the Paper Marios, and in Odyssey you go to a Japanese-themed level and fight samurai monsters, but in terms of recurring elements in the Mario series. Mario I would say is very apolitical and anational. Like, obviously Zelda takes place in a European fantasy world, but then every so often, there's a ninja clan, or some kind of weird demon mask, or Ganondorf pulls out a katana. That kind of thing is much rarer in Mario, and altogether absent in other Nintendo properties besides Pokemon. How often does Peach put on a kimono, or someone throw one of those paper lanterns into the air? I wonder... are we just conditioned to Japanese cultural items through osmosis, and that's why we always accept it? Or is Japan just cooler than most countries, and they know it? Like, I can't recall the last time I played a video game and went to an India-inspired level. This reminds me of those goddamn awful Harry Potter prequels, where they leave Britain, and it's like, a significant part of the appeal of Harry Potter is how aggressively British it is. Yes, the magic stuff is important, but the British cultural elements lend a lot to the series. I don't care about seeing 1930s wizards in Germany because I don't care about German culture in relation to Harry Potter. Germany can make its own cultural things. I go to a Harry Potter movie, I want to see ugly anglos saying snog and having ridiculous last names. Similarly, anyone who says they want Persona 6 to take place outside of Japan, you're crazy. The aggressively Japanese cultural elements of Persona are half of the appeal. I don't want to see Persona in the United States, I don't want to see it anywhere except Japan. The only non-Japanese elements I want to see in Persona are Thor so I can equip him to be immune to physical damage, and Alice because Japan is obsessed with Alice in Wonderland for some reason. I bring this up because this is very much not the case for Mario, where even if they excised that Japan level in Odyssey or the tanooki suit, the games would still feel the same. And its presence in Odyssey doesn't stand out that much because you also go to Mexico and US-themed levels anyway.
Warp Whistle: I was in my thirties before I realized this was a reference to Zelda 1. I remember as a kid, I never used these or warp pipes, because I wanted to actually play the game. But they are a great concept, and I assume are key to Mario speedruns in the modern era. To compare them to the Zelda item, it's a little interesting, because I think of Zelda as putting more effort into the diegetic elements than Mario, but neither of them make any attempt to explain why this thing summons a whirlwind that takes you somewhere else. Anyway, the poor warp whistle has been completely outmoded in later games, where Mario has access to a spaceship or a giant flying hat.