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Write a sketch where Cloud Strife, Sephiroth, Mario, Samus Aran, Solid Snake, Crono, Mega Man, and Sonic the Hedgehog do a comedy roast of Link.
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[INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT]
(A stage is set with a microphone in the center. The audience is buzzing with excitement as Cloud Strife, Sephiroth, Mario, Samus Aran, Solid Snake, Crono, Mega Man, and Sonic the Hedgehog gather around.)
CLOUD STRIFE: (grabbing the mic) Alright, folks! Welcome to the biggest roast in gaming history! Tonight, we're here to roast the Hero of Hyrule himself, Link!
AUDIENCE: (cheering and applauding)
SEPHIROTH: Ah, Link, the silent hero. Well, I guess he doesn't need words when he's got that magical plot armor.
MARIO: (in his thick Italian accent) Hey, Link! You're so quiet, even Waluigi thinks you need to speak up!
SAMUS ARAN: Link, you spend so much time collecting rupees, I'm surprised you haven't filed for bankruptcy in Hyrule!
SOLID SNAKE: Link, you're stealthy, sure, but you're about as inconspicuous as a Goron in a china shop.
CRONO: (with a smirk) Link, you've been saving Princess Zelda for decades. Ever thought about asking for a raise?
MEGA MAN: Link, you've got more green hats than I have robot masters to defeat.
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: Hey, Link! You run around Hyrule like you're on a quest, but let's be real, you're just avoiding your chores.
(Audience laughter fills the room.)
CLOUD STRIFE: Alright, alright! Let's keep it going! Link, you've been to more dungeons than a disgraced plumber.
SEPHIROTH: Link, even with all those fancy swords and shields, you still end up getting clobbered by chickens!
MARIO: Link, you spend more time breaking pots than saving princesses!
SAMUS ARAN: Link, you've faced off against Ganon more times than I've faced off against Ridley, and that's saying something.
SOLID SNAKE: Link, you've got a whole arsenal of weapons, but you still haven't figured out how to talk to the ladies.
CRONO: Link, even Navi thinks you need to lighten up!
MEGA MAN: Link, you collect so many items, I'm surprised your pockets haven't burst like a piata at a kid's birthday party.
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: Hey, Link! You've got more heart containers than a cardiologist's office!
(The audience erupts into laughter and applause as the roasters share knowing glances.)
CLOUD STRIFE: And that's our show, folks! Let's give it up for Link, the hero of Hyrule!
AUDIENCE: (cheering and applauding)
(The roasters gather in a group hug, laughing and congratulating each other on a roast well done)
https://imgur.com/WqDcNNq
https://imgur.com/89Z5jrB