Lurker > MegamanXfan21xx

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LonelyStoner posted...

You need Brony topics for your mental health?

I'm mildly mentally ill, and I've been going to these topics since 2011. Hardly the best solution, I know, but it's a harmless one.

LonelyStoner posted...

Bronies are still a thing?

Barely. I'm keeping these going mostly for the sake of my mental health nowadays. The 2020s haven't been kind to me. We lost a member in 2020, I lost a pet cat in 2022, and last April, I lost my mom and other pet cat only 12 days apart.

It's midnight and some jackass just set off some fireworks. Unfortunately, my sleep schedule has adjusted itself so I get tired at midnight again.

My brother got us tickets to see Michael Carbonaro this November. He's the host of a hidden camera show called The Carbonaro Effect, where he uses his magician knowledge to do seemingly impossible things, weirding out regular people. He has a very nonchalant attitude while this odd stuff is going on, like it's something he's seen every day.

Also, he got a physical version of the Paper Mario TTYD remake, surprisingly. He's not an RPG guy. Like me, he generally prefers action games. He did play Mario RPG back in the day, but he says he didn't even know what an RPG was back then. He likely just thought "Hey, a new Mario game everyone's gushing over."

A policeman came by, asking about a missing kid. Hope they can find them.

Oh fuck, it's gonna get up 98 degrees later this month!

I'm glad my mom didn't pass at the height of the pandemic. Even with her and the cats still around, 2020 was still an immensely stressful year. Who wouldn't be stressed at witnessing a societal breakdown?

Twitter just made other people's likes private. That's pretty annoying, since I liked going through the likes of people/artists I enjoyed to find stuff that's similar to theirs. They should at least make hiding your likes optional.

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Antiyonder posted...

But yeah I figure MLP FiM having an episode titled Dragon Quest is just coincidence, but I still wonder if any of the people on staff was giving a nod to it after the usage of Dragon Lord. But again, not enough to count such as references.

There was a pretty blatant MGS reference in one episode, so there were definitely gamers on staff.

Never was much of a JRPG guy. Not sure why; it just never appealed to me. I think it's the aesthetics, because everything looks clean and shiny already. I like my environments to have some grit in them. Similarly, I don't like when sci-fi environments have that shiny and perfect "Apple store" look.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uvpyb_s7IeM

I really love the commercials from Alan Wake II. I always like when a company that's capable of professional quality productions does something intentionally low-budget. Also, the last commercial is mildly spoilery, so avoid it if you wish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eDBTrqyjD0

A Lego/Horizon crossover game was definitely not something I expected to see. Nor was it also getting a Switch release, since Horizon is a Sony property. With all these PS games getting released on PC, Xbox exclusives getting onto PS5, and this getting a Switch release, I'm really hoping we're seeing the beginning of the end of console exclusives. I've even heard a rumor of the Master Chief Collection coming to PS5.

Also, they definitely should have called this Horizon: Lego Dawn.

https://youtu.be/aO3VXSa2RHA?si=z3_LEJjs3S-DSa1H

Cartridge88 posted...

that R63 Discord has a little too much Donkey from Shrek vibes in it...

"Oh, you're a girl donkey!"

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Oh hey, the ESRB updated the "in-game purchases" descriptor to have a variant with "(includes random items)". Naturally it showed up during an ad for Diablo: Immortal. Guess their arms finally got twisted enough. Back during the loot box fiasco, they only added the first type, so there was no distinction between games with loot boxes and games with substantial expansions.

My brother took me out for dinner at the town I used to live in before I moved to my current location. The place has changed so much since I left, but there's still enough familiar places remaining. It's overall more beautiful and cozy, and of course they waited until I left to overhaul it. My old high school was completely torn down and rebuilt. It doesn't have that old-building charm anymore, but I hope the current students there like it.

After that, we went to a river and walked through the woods for a bit, tossing a few skipping stones. Then we went to a nature preserve trail that ended at a small waterfall. It was humid out, but I still really enjoyed it. I don't remember the last time I went in the woods like that, but I get the feeling the pandemic hadn't happened yet. For a couple hours, I felt like my old self again. Like what I was before the pandemic, before mom's passing, before I had to move away from that wonderful town.

Unbelievable. Even going for a healthy walk in the park is backfiring on me. There's a blackberry tree growing along my only entrance there, and they start falling to the ground in Spring, so I have to walk over them to get to the park. I keep my shoes by the front door, and apparently the squished berry juices on them are attracting ants.

I finally had a dream of my mom. It felt so real and I could see her so clearly. I got to tell her I loved her. Don't know why it took so long when I had dreams about other recently passed loved ones sooner. I had a dream about John a couple weeks after he passed, too. I won't say what happened out of respect, but he's happy.

Even started to have a dream about our female cat a couple days after she went. She was just casually sitting there, grooming herself. Unfortunately, it was a windy night and the bedroom door was cracked open, so it being blown shut woke me up.

Cartridge88 posted...

I like to think Elise had a lot to do with it
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/recast-and-roleswap/images/2/25/Elise_from_Dan_Vs.png

Her and the supermodel from the very first scene of the series.

https://youtu.be/yrYZwuevnas?si=SeQx1Ok93gINDyAy

Just found out that the entire Dan Vs. series is officially on youtube. It was almost as popular as FiM back in the day, with a good overlap of people who liked both.

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Cartridge88 posted...

could've been the emotional stress.

https://www.carpalrx.com/stress-anxiety-carpal-tunnel
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15736742/

Interesting. It was likely a combination of emotional stress, poor posture, and playing games while having a poor posture. During the few brief weeks when I had moved into mom's room while she was still alive, I'd spend my downtime in her bed and prop myself up on an angled pillow while playing games. I thought a sore back would be the only real issue from that; one I could solve by merely twisting my spine a bit.

Hey, you wanna hear another thing to put in the "worst possible timing" list? When I woke up on the day my mom would ultimately pass away, the right side of my right wrist was hurting for no damn reason, and it never stopped. It persisted all the way up until I remembered my mom had a vibrating back massager a few days ago, and using that on my wrist has made the pain go way down.

Thankfully, it didn't stop me from being a pallbearer, but holy shit, the audacity of this particular bit of timing. I don't have any idea what caused it. If I had slept on it funny, wouldn't it have healed up after a day at most? Why can I not have even a sliver of real peace?

Hope I can have a normal bedroom again some day. My old room was the windowless basement. After a couple years living here, I got tired of having to choose between games and the sun, so I moved my PS4 upstairs and really only used my room for sleeping and storing clothes.

After mom passed, I moved into her room, but I can't bring myself to make any changes to it (and there's a good amount of sentimental stuff). I swapped out her mattress for mine and moved the memorial cards I'd gathered over the years to her room, but that's it. Even without her stuff in it, it's fairly cramped and has outdated wallpaper, so again I only use it for sleeping.

Another grandma-level dinner from the neighbor. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, and strawberries with poundcake for dessert.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxdxcayMgV0

Found some channels that do recreations of various creepypastas in SFM. Cheesy, I know, but creepypastas themselves are cheesy, so it's appropriate.

Watched the latest Silent Hill livestream with my brother. They showed some extended gameplay of the 2 remake, which looks pretty good. Though it was kind of ruined by the setting sun putting a lot of glare in the room, even with the blinds down (they're opaque). I haven't played the original in over 12 years, but it wasn't terribly long, so I still remember most of it. I'm glad they made James look more like his original self, since the initial design had a bigger jaw, so he looked too masculine for a soft-spoken everyman.

They showed a commentary piece by the director of the next film, plus some brief snippets of it. I think it could turn out really well. They showed that they hired contortionists for the nurses again.

Aside from merch and a soundtrack release for the free Silent Hill they released recently, that was it. Nothing about the other games. I was really interested in more info about Silent Hill f, with its more Japanese horror direction. I've got The Short Message downloaded, but since it came out when my mom's downward spiral truly started, I haven't gotten around to playing it.

Nice, they're bringing PS2 games to PS5 (though you need PS+). One of the first games they're putting in is the first Sly Cooper. I fucking loved that when I was 11. I think that, aside from the good gameplay, the atmosphere was what really gripped me. Since it's primarily a stealth game, the environments were generally darker, seedier, and the soundtrack was fairly low-key. It was certainly a change of pace from my other most-played game at the time, Sonic Adventure 2.

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Annoyingly, there's been some deposits made to my mom's now-closed bank accounts that we're likely never gonna get our hands on. We got a check for $333 made out to her from a credit card company about her account closure. My brother also neglected to sell her stocks before closing her accounts, and I think she had a couple thousand invested in them.

Helping to care for the cats and my mom (even before she got sick) really gave my life purpose. Now that they're all gone, I don't know what the hell to do with myself. There's nothing to do but some mild house cleaning, going for a walk in the park (before winter puts a stop to that), going to the gym, and playing games. I never developed any real hobbies, likely due to my mental illness. I guess games are a hobby, but the shit I've gone through in the last year sucked most of the enjoyment out of them.

Cartridge88 posted...

I've never been the best gift giver, either, all I can think is like giving him a vacation, or just like a weekend where he doesn't have to do anything and can just rest.

A vacation is definitely way beyond my budget. Only thing I can think of is a session with that massage therapist I saw a couple times to deal with my shoulder strain.

Anyone have gift suggestions for my brother? He did a lot of the heavy lifting in the final days of my mom's life, like staying up all night to give her constant care. After she passed, he settled her accounts, and put together a photo slideshow and album with my dad. I wanna pay him back, but I don't know what to get him. He says me making dinner is fine, but I feel I could do more.

https://youtu.be/hBvaU3L-HP0?si=TPjQCA7gTmHKiRw3

First time at the gym in god knows how many months. It's depressing that my mom won't get to see her other kid get in shape, but I just gotta do this. She carried me for longer than any parent should, now I have to learn to carry myself.

Cartridge88 posted...

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That reminds me, some of the videos I've been watching are about finding the origins of scary images like those. I don't think they found Jeff's yet, but they're getting very close.

Thinking about Frutiger Aero reminds me that I'm disappointed the Nintendo Switch didn't have any real style or personality in its presentation. Everything is minimalist and flat, the theme options consist of a white or black background, and there's no music aside from extremely brief jingles from certain menu options. There was gonna be music for the Eshop, but they cut it, leaving it to rot in the files until hackers dug it up and posted it.

https://youtu.be/t9jx504Wtk4?si=RYvDaeQXh0Mpdi-f

I guess after the Wii U failed, they didn't wanna put too much money into presentation, focusing more on the hardware and must-buy games.

Think I'm getting humidity headaches. Ever since we stopped using the A/C so much and Spring progressed, I've been getting headaches more. A search tells me that drinking more water and getting more exercise can mitigate them. Doesn't help that we've got a mild ant infestation in the kitchen, and I'm sweaty and miserable and still a ways off from recovering from my mom passing.

I have aspirin, but I don't wanna take too much. I already had an increased intake of it in early 2020, when the shoulder strain headaches hit.

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Nice, another quiche from our neighbor. This is especially nice because she had lung surgery last month, so she's been really tired and unable to interact with us much. Guess we can add that to the pile of "things with bad timing", since that was shortly before mom passed, so we were without her cooking or company at a time when it would have been most appreciated.

Holy shit...

My brother gave me an ethernet cable to hook up to the PS5 so it could free up more wifi for him, and its connection speed is an absolutely titanic 740!

Just hope it doesn't suffer the same fate as the last time I tried a wired connection. In late 2011, our internet briefly got shut off after failure to pay the bill, and when we got it back up, my PS3's ethernet connection just stopped working. No matter what the hell I did, it just plain wouldn't work. We switched to wireless shortly after.

Oh, that's nice. My brother got the new router set up while I was asleep. The password is my mom's birthday. But I suspect it's a double meaning. My mom's birth month was also the month he met and adopted his cat in, so he named her after that month.

I just did a speed test, and got a whopping 184 mbps. Last I recall, our previous router only got half of that. Oh, and the fact that we actually have a password now is nice, too. You know how messing with router settings is a pain, so we never bothered with putting a password in.

Edit: A second test capped at 240.

Found a box in my mom's room that contained a bunch of greeting cards written to her over the years. Most of them were birthday, Valentine's, and Mother's Day cards from me, my brother, and my brother's ex back when she lived with us. A few were from my grandma, one from both grandparents (before my grandpa passed on Christmas 2010), and a couple from the 90s. Most 90s ones were from my dad, and they actually had words of love in them. Considering they divorced when I was a kid, it's impossible to believe they were once romantic towards each other.

Some cards had the years they were received written on them. The latest year I found was 2022. After that... things began to fall apart.

It's been a month since that awful evening. I miss hearing her voice, hugging her, talking with her, laughing with her, and making her smile.

Been on something of a binge of things from the 90s and early 2000s, since it's comforting to me these trying times. I found out about this thing called Frutiger Aero, an aesthetic that was common from about 2002 to roughly 2013. Basically, it's when devices and operating systems had a bright and bubbly aesthetic, often with nature at its most ideal or in harmony with mankind. It's something that really needs to make a comeback, because we desperately need some cheer and optimism nowadays

https://youtu.be/nh6COqa9HCo?si=dA0Q-fIm0WC0nCnJ

There was some big youth sporting event at the park today. It was nice to be around a big crowd of people who weren't in mourning for a change. I overhead that there was some kid with the same first name as me, and it sounded like he was a decent player. Sure hope your future is brighter than mine, little man.

Also realized another reason we can't get another pet. With us keeping the central heating and cooling use to a minimum, that cat would be very uncomfortable. I remember when ours went out for a few days, the male cat would lay down on these decorative tiles the previous owners put in (hate those, BTW) on the floor just because they were cool.

It's been almost a month, and I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around it. I'd gotten so used to having another presence constantly in the house, and in two years, three of the five beings living here have passed on. And those last two went less than two weeks apart.