| Board List | |
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| Topic | I'm relapsing really bad and don't know what to do. |
| RockRapDubstep 04/11/18 11:38:09 AM #38 | JustMonika posted... Do you attend any sort of therapy or victim counseling? I went to therapy one time after it happened, my mom paid. I felt guilty about my mom paying and they wanted to put me on expensive medication as well and I just didn't like the lady, didn't like talking about it, or anything. I was going to see a Christian counselor, not because of the Christian part but because she offered a free service but she retired. The only two support groups I found locally searching were for women only. Plus even just getting out of the house to go is a hurdle itself. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I'm relapsing really bad and don't know what to do. |
| RockRapDubstep 04/11/18 11:33:01 AM #36 | Really just feeling like I'm a broken person beyond repair. Been over a year and I can't even handle a random knock at the door without freaking out and I don't even know what I'm actually freaked out about in the first place. Yet I was a relatively normal person before all this. Maybe some occasional like anxiety or something but nothing major or even worthy of medication. Had friends, some family, a girlfriend. Now I don't have any of that and can't even speak to someone over the internet well in a direct conversation. A couple Christian fundamentalists in the family basically disowned me over it, my mom was really supportive in the first few months but I guess she eventually had enough of me not going to events like holidays and stuff, not calling, I even skipped out on a family friends funeral. Same things with friends and my gf. I never told my friends though, only the police, my mom, and girlfriend at the time since I couldn't exactly not since I was hospitalized at the time. I guess at least a good portion of this is on me, can't blame anyone else for me alienating everyone. I'm sure others could but I'm feeling like I can't come back from this, the fact that it fucked me over so much that I went from being what I was to what I am now. I want things to be the same again, which they can't be, but even close would be good enough, but I don't feel like it'll happen. Which again I guess my own attitude is part of the problem here, can't blame anyone else for that. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I'm relapsing really bad and don't know what to do. |
| RockRapDubstep 04/11/18 11:21:04 AM #34 | Excluding that other guy, thanks everyone. If I'm not responding to you directly its because all I have to say is thanks. Zikten posted... I hope you can find help. there has to be some kind of free program you can use. have you just tried talking to a social worker and asking for advice? maybe they know of a program you weren't aware of No but I kind of struggle to talk to people so I don't know if I'd even be able to. Even online I have trouble let alone on the phone or in person. ShotgunSilencer posted... Just search google for medical assistance in your county. The website will give you all the information you need and point you in the right direction. I'll try doing that again. Issue will be calling or making myself go. It's impossible to explain to someone who hasn't experienced agoraphobia what it's like because it should be so easy. I don't fully understand it myself. ave1 posted... Carry mace around with you. You can definitely gain confidence back if you have a way of defending yourself. I have some and went for walks with it a few times and I think it was stressing me out more, like making me think of a bunch of situations that I know wouldn't happen so I started going for walks without it since those are the feelings I'm trying to stop. But it's better than what someone in the last topic suggested, which was a gun. That likely wouldn't go very well. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Top three users you want to see a picture of. Go! |
| RockRapDubstep 04/11/18 11:05:08 AM #108 | @Gamer99z @mipond @JustMonika --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Can we all agree a liberal from the year 2000 |
| RockRapDubstep 04/09/18 9:18:32 PM #34 | We need more than a two party system. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I'm relapsing really bad and don't know what to do. |
| RockRapDubstep 04/09/18 9:17:19 PM #21 | Instead of quoting everyone I'll just say thanks to those offering support. As for looking into my options and resources available to me I was trying to do that before I started declining again. I don't know anything about that stuff so I'm having to figure it out all out, particularly with government assistance stuff, I'm completely ignorant. To the guy obsessing over if I'm a guy or a girl, and to the other guy just curious what happened. I'm a male, in the Dallas area, really small (5'3"), and there were two men about average build that I didn't know and weren't caught. Wasn't really anything I could do given my size, I tried but ended up with a broken jaw, wrist, some ribs, among other things. Don't know who did it or why they did it. I'm not in a financial situation where I can move right now so I'm stuck here. And to those pointing out the stats that it probably wouldn't happen again, I'm well aware of that. Logically I know there's basically a 0% chance of anything like that happening again, but that's not how crippling agoraphobia and anxiety work. It's not based on logic. And I remember some people being assholes in the last topic but there was more good than bad and CE is my only social outlet. I was trying to work up to using my voice in online games but I need a headset and more importantly to get over my crippling anxiety about it before I can. I figured that'd be a good first step but I failed pretty quickly. Professional help is what I need but I can't afford it or find anything. I found two local support groups but they were both female only to be a safe space for women. Finding it hard to get out of bed most days or even summon the will power to try. Also, thanks for your PM @mipond --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Reaction: Microsoft announces removal of Xbox Live from gold paywall at E3 |
| RockRapDubstep 04/09/18 8:25:57 PM #6 | It'd be cool of them to do but I wouldn't buy one because it doesn't have any games. And I wouldn't have the money to waste anyways. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I'm relapsing really bad and don't know what to do. |
| RockRapDubstep 04/09/18 8:24:17 PM #1 | For those of you who don't know I was raped and beaten outside of my apartment a bit over a year ago. I cut ties with everyone, became extremely agoraphobic, severely depressed, and gained severe anxiety and even paranoia. Even having someone knock on my door would cause me to go lock myself in the bedroom or bathroom. I spent a year moping, going into a downward spiral, dropped to 90~ lbs, and didn't interact with anyone. Awhile back I started trying to fix that. Getting out just to for walks, maybe getting a dog or something, and then buy a gaming headset and try to start talking to people safely over the internet. I was doing good with the short walks for awhile but now I'm getting reclusive again and never did the rest. I feel my depression sinking worse than before and I don't know what to do. No friends, no family, my gf broke up with me a few months after it happened, no money, no insurance so I can't even see anyone. Really just starting to wonder why I'm even trying. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I have $10k in my bank account |
| RockRapDubstep 04/09/18 8:04:09 PM #18 | Slip-N-Slide posted... Buy me a game or something like a bro. Or buy me a game and I'll be more than a bro. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Excluding yourself, who is the sexiest user here? |
| RockRapDubstep 04/09/18 8:03:06 PM #61 | Not enough Gamer99z mentions. You should all be ashamed. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Excluding yourself, who is the sexiest user here? |
| RockRapDubstep 04/08/18 10:41:54 PM #16 | Nobody has anything on @Gamer99z He wins by nips alone, let alone the rest. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | What's your favorite Kurt Russell movie? |
| RockRapDubstep 04/02/18 1:59:50 AM #21 | CarlGrimes posted... Also for anyone that wants to watch an underrated Kurt Russell movie, 3K Miles to Graceland is on Netflix. That movie was garbage bro. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I think we're due for a new Final Destination movie. |
| RockRapDubstep 03/19/18 9:47:57 PM #7 | creativerealms posted... No. It should have been one film. They're great comedies. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Who on CE do you think is a secret couple? |
| RockRapDubstep 03/19/18 9:45:47 PM #38 | mipond posted... Gamer99z is my forever crush, but I know, he has a girlfriend With nips like those, I don't blame you. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 03/02/18 6:24:19 AM #69 | Managed to get out and go for a walk around the block a couple times today, something I guess. I put on a hoodie and sweats even though it was warm out. Something about people not being able to see any of me, particularly my face was comforting for some reason, not sure if there's a name for that or something but I don't think I could've gone out without having my hoodie on covering most of my face. Really don't want people to see my face for some reason. I wonder if it's partially because I'm embarrassed of my hair. It's just grown out over the last year because I haven't been willing to go get it cut. Not just because of the social anxiety but because I'd have someone touching my head and stuff, I really don't feel comfortable with anyone touching me. I think a new goal I'm adding in is to walk to get my hair cut sometime soon and secondly to be able to go outside without my hoodie or anything like that. Just be a normal person walking straight ahead, eyes up front instead of feeling like I'm trying to hide in public. Also thinking about maybe getting a dog, big dog. For an added sense of security since I'm not fit to own a firearm right now for my own well being. And because it would force me out to walk the dog because I'd have responsibilities. But I also worry about if it doesn't make it easier to get out then I end up neglecting the dog keeping it inside all the time and not walking it or anything. A cat wouldn't really do much for security but maybe having some form of companionship could help, and that's low maintenance at least. Idk, shooting around a lot of ideas in my head the last couple of days. Some moments I feel strong and ambitious, others I feel worse than ever. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Sometimes it's depressing seeing people be friends on here. |
| RockRapDubstep 03/02/18 6:08:14 AM #8 | Crippling social anxiety is the worst thing ever. I can't even carry a conversation with people on the internet. I joined a discord server and didn't know how to get involved with any discussion so I just left the server. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Sometimes it's depressing seeing people be friends on here. |
| RockRapDubstep 03/01/18 12:18:28 PM #1 | I see people who are friends, will be playful and joke with each other in topics, or have cliques and such but there's not anyone here I actually know or have had a personal or private conversation with. It's my own fault too because my social anxiety is so bad I can't even have interactions digitally with people well. It's just gotten more depressing since I don't have any friends in real life anymore and CE is almost exclusively my only social outlet yet nobody would even know if I was gone. I was reading through a topic a few minutes ago and saw some people being friendly and playful and it's just depressing me right now, I dunno. And this isn't me trying to fish for friends or anything, if you were to PM me or anything I likely wouldn't respond or wouldn't respond in a way that continues a conversation so don't bother, I'm just venting here. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 03/01/18 12:11:43 PM #67 | iClockwork posted... RockRapDubstep posted...Really kinda feeling like I've gotten myself into a hole I can't ever get out of right now. It's something I guess. It just feels like it's pretty insignificant compared to actually figuring out how to make myself do those things --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 02/28/18 2:15:25 PM #65 | TheGoldenEel posted... TC do you have a Primary care physician? If not you should get one Yeah and I saw her a few times after it happened for done checkups with everything during the recovery. When I referenced asking about referrals she's who I asked, she basically said I was SOL out here because nobody accepts Medicaid. She also referred me to a neurologist for severe migraines I've had since and sleep problems but when I contacted them they weren't accepting new patients. Apparently people come from this several town around radius because they're the only one that accepts Medicaid out here so they're already understaffed. All the places I contacted were either got women and/or children or too expensive for me at least. It's been a bit since I tried though so I'm going to try again and see if anything new has come up or changed. But I have to get over my agoraphobia want severe social anxieties first. Right now I couldn't even make a call to schedule an appointment because I can't really talk to people and if I did I likely would have went anxiety attack when it was time to go and miss the appointment. Really kinda feeling like I've gotten myself into a hole I can't ever get out of right now. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 02/28/18 1:55:28 PM #63 | RockLee94 posted... APM posted...RockRapDubstep posted... I have no intention or desire to receive anything from anyone. They'd be better off keeping I for themselves because I'm not even ready to do that yet. I'm still at the stage if just trying to be more social on CE. I might not be ready even when I have the money for a headset and stuff, part of the reason I specifically an wanting a more expensive, well expensive to me, headset is to actually motivate me to use it. I'm sure I have that shitty included earpiece around or could get some shitty $5 Walmart mic, but not anxiety would keep me from using it. If someone tried to ask me something in a game or something I wouldn't be able to answer them. I can't talk on the phone or even respond to PM's on here without getting anxiety, so I still have a of work to do before I'd even use it if I had it. Basically my plan right now is: 1) Be more social on CE and other place online. 2) Get an expensive headset to try to motivate myself to actually get use out of it since it'll represent months of me saving up. 3) Try to start going out again, even just to see a movie or even smaller then that just start going for walks or something. 4) Move out of here, possibly to another city as well. I'm still currently living where the assault took place so I'm sure that doesn't help. 5) Not necessarily in this order, but work in some kind of professional help or support group. But I have to be able to leave my house and function around another human being without completely shutting down before I can do that either. If I was going to lie to beg for stuff, for starters I sure as fuck wouldn't lie about being fucking raped. That's disgusting, delegitimizes rape, and also it's not like even because I don't know you guys personally it's easy to talk about. It's an extremely embarrassing thing for me to be associated with to begin with. Having "guy who was beaten and raped, hasn't left his house unless absolutely necessary for an entire year, relies on his mom for many things like going to the store, has no friends, gets terrified when someone knocks at the door, doesn't feel like a man anymore, and has no money" be what most people who've seen this thread will associate me with for the rest of my time here isn't exactly something I, or I'd think anyone, would want... I'm just trying to start some kind of change for myself and maybe talk to some people online. Don't know why people are still trying to say I'm begging for stuff just because I named things that are part of my current plan. I explicitly stated already I don't want anything from anyone nor would I expect anyone to even want to do something like that to begin with because I have no friends here or anyone I'm even casual acquaintances with. I'm hardly even active here even though this is my primary social outlet. I've kept to myself. Even right now still having PM's I'm struggling to respond to. No offense to either of you btw, it's just me. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I'm just upset that my local movie theater is using this shooting as an excuse |
| RockRapDubstep 02/28/18 12:22:43 PM #10 | That's what you get for calling it pop, you heathen. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 02/28/18 12:15:48 PM #57 | APM posted... RockRapDubstep posted...Right now, as stupid as it might sound, my plan for progress is to try to be more social on CE and scrounge up some money in the next few months to buy a decent headset like a HyperX Cloud Alpha, Playstation Platinum, or Arctis 7 and try to pick up some games where communication is important like Rainbow 6 Siege, Overwatch, etc. To force myself to talk to try to get over my fear and/or anxiety of human interaction as a first step. Might sound dumb but that's really the best I've got right now. I'm not begging for anything. I'm really intentionally setting my goal for things I can't afford to procrastinate further because like I said I have issues even with social interaction in general. Someone PM'd me about this topic and I haven't responded yet because I got anxiety trying to respond even though there wasn't any reason to. I don't want anything from anyone, I'm just trying to actually talk about this with someone other than my mom which I haven't done in like 9-10 months anyways. I don't want anything from anyone, I don't even really want sympathy or anything either, I just want to talk to some people about it. There's nobody in my life I can talk to other than my mom and I don't want to just bring it up constantly to her because it hurts her to think about. Telling you strangers about it, yeah it's sad, you might even feel sympathetic but you're not going to be crying over it or losing any sleep over it like my mom would if I talked to her about it. I'm just trying to figure out how to change myself before it's too late if it isn't already because I can't stay like this forever. I can't be afraid to leave my home, to interact with people, to even open my own door without hiding in my room ffs. I'm constantly afraid, even my own home. And despite feeling like it couldn't get worse I feel my depression gradually getting worse and negative thoughts (don't know if saying what I mean is moddable) are becoming more and more frequent... I don't expect anything from anyone because right now there's not really anything anyone can do for me, all of this is on me and me alone to change. APM posted... Not like this is a real story or anything Well now you can just fuck off, you're a terrible person. But I'm actually pleasantly surprised it made it this long without someone shitposting. human decency is too much to expect from some people here I guess. If you don't believe me you keep that shit to yourself and move on, because even if you don't believe it someone with a shred of decency would think "I don't believe this but I'm just going to keep it to myself in case it's true so I'm not baselessly calling a rape victim a liar" Because yeah, I enjoy just randomly telling people I'm such a bitch now I can't even handle a knock at the door without a panic attack or that I, a straight man, had my ass fucked up for weeks where I couldn't even shit without nearly crying because I was sodomized by men. Yeah, THAT'S what I'd say if I just wanted a sob story.... As if I even want to be associated with any of those things by the people here basically forever now to begin with, I've just reached a point of needing to talk and anonymous people here being my only option right now. TheGrindery posted... In case nobody said it yet. A gun isn't something I should be in possession of for the foreseeable future.. I'm not in a good place for that. And taking classes would require both me going around people, which I can't do, and money, which I don't have. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Are there still goths? |
| RockRapDubstep 02/27/18 9:08:42 PM #3 | They got replaced by Tumblr edgelords. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 02/27/18 9:07:22 PM #32 | CruelBuffalo posted... Im so sorry that this happened to you. But you are strong for attempting to change things since you can see how this is affecting you emotionally. I also parrot that you should continue to use your strength to find out if you can get therapy or find a support group for survivors so you can see you are not alone. Don't feel very strong. I've recognized the problems for awhile but seemingly have made next to no progress if not regressed further. But thanks to all the support everyone. If I didn't respond to you directly I wasn't ignoring you or anything I just didn't have anything meaningful to say back, but I've read all the posts. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Sometimes I hate my life /blogfaqs |
| RockRapDubstep 02/27/18 9:04:21 PM #45 | Gamer99z posted... KogaSteelfang posted...SableWolfAngel posted... Too real. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 02/27/18 4:58:07 PM #29 | Hicks233 posted... Look into avenues for professional help and counselling. I don't know how healthcare is set up where you are but I hope there are some options available to you. Thanks for the advice. Trayvon posted... so your gf ended up leaving you ? :( Yeah a few months after. I don't blame her though. I was completely disconnected from her and everyone else. She tried to help how she could but it didn't really get anywhere. I don't hold it against her. ElementPro posted... I assume youre in America. Is there no help availale for free at all? Yes I am and, there is in limited capacity, just not around here. Lorenzo_2003 posted... Theres got to be at least a support group that you can attend, right? Please check. Call hospitals or law enforcement to get in contact with the nearest one or a counselor who wont cost you money. Maybe youre not ready to openly share your story with them, but just going and being around others can be helpful, and at least more healthy than staying at home. Its such a relatively small population out and around here so I doubt there's any other support groups. The one I found was for women only through a local organization that runs a women's shelter and stuff. They don't allow men there even as employees so it's a safe space for abused women. There was a Christian counselor that was free but she happened to retire and close her building right around the time that happened. Most of the things I've found are just free for women and/or kids. ThanksUglyGod posted... I'm really sorry to hear that, TC. I don't know if this helps or if you've already tried contacting RAINN, but here's the link anyway: I tried to on multiple occasions, but my anxiety would get too bad. I think it might've actually been more like panic attacks. I'm not really good at differentiating because they're things I never experienced before that happened. Maybe I can be stronger now and try again. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 02/27/18 4:46:00 PM #27 | OpheliaAdenade posted... Finding a mental health facility that accepts Medicaid shouldn't be too hard. Have you tried calling around? Medicaid offers extensive mental health coverage. I know we accept it here and several other practices around take it as well. There's a voluntary mental health hospital that accepts it out here, but that's only 72 hours iirc and I doubt much would be accomplished by that unless I went one of the times I'm feeling suicidal or something. But not the long term help I need. I've tried calling around and asking for referrals. There was a woman I saw briefly right after it happened that helped me get on disability. But I couldn't afford to keep seeing her. legendarylemur posted... Just writing this kinda stuff on this kinda forum is a huge help in the midst of a trauma. As you talk about your trauma, you might look at it from a different kind of perspective, and just simply writing it down is a release of emotions That's really what I was going for with this topic I guess. DragonGirlYuki posted... Seek legal action against the perpetrators? I don't know who did it, I'd never seen them before in my life. The police weren't really able to find anything either. Honestly that's why I'm even more fucked up, it was just a completely random act of violence I did nothing to instigate or had no reason to expect. Which is why I have trouble even leaving my apartment now because I don't trust strangers anymore. NeonOctopus posted... Honestly, seeking help should be your #1 priority. Save money when you can, maybe some other family members you can ask to borrow money. Find a shrink office. Inquire what options there are for payment, etc. If they can refer you to a cheaper one if they don't take medicaid, etc. That's what I'm trying to do but I can hardly even make it month to month as is, I'm saving such small amounts each month that best case is I can go in for a single session every several months. Can't borrow any money because I pretty much only have my mother. The rest of my family isn't good. Trying my best to explore my options, my mom is too. Lost_All_Senses posted... The world is such an asshole sometimes. No one should have to go through this and Im sorry that you have to. You gotta keep fighting to enter back into society slowly tho. I think getting headphones and doing some online gaming is a good step. Also posting here. Any social interaction is better than none at all. Times like this is when the internet comes in super handy. Yeah I'm trying my best. And I'm thinking the internet is my best bet because I can try to start easing into socializing again since I have that anonymity and disconnect from the people which I think might help with my anxiety and fear. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 02/27/18 3:08:14 PM #12 | Oh I absolutely know I need professional help, without a doubt. The issue is I can't afford it and I couldn't find one out here that takes Medicaid, which is what I'm on. NeonOctopus posted... What's your job? Which also answers this. I'm on disability right now. And have been since about 3 months after it happened, which was how long it took me to get approved. Have pretty much no money left after I pay my bills and the essentials though. The other month I only had $5 left and had to have my mom speak to the bank to get them to keep my account open since it was obviously below the minimum to even keep the account open. I tried calling them several times but couldn't manage to actually get myself to talk to anyone. There's no doubt in my mind I need professional help, just don't see any way to get it. Can't ask my mom for money or anything either because she doesn't have much and has her own issues. Might've been able to get help from friends if I hadn't burned those bridges by straight up cutting everyone off for a year... --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | I was raped going on a year ago. |
| RockRapDubstep 02/27/18 2:42:17 PM #1 | Right outside my apartment by two men who were never caught or identified. I'm small for a man, only 5'5"130lbs or so, tried my best to defend myself but was unable to. Had my jaw broken, some ribs broken, a wrist broken, and some injury to the personal areas. It's been almost full year and I feel like no progress has been made, I've gotten worse in some ways. I've been a complete recluse and agoraphobic ever since. If someone knocks on my door and I'm not expecting anyone I don't even check the peep hole or anything, I just get this rush of anxiety and fear and go into my bedroom or bathroom and lock the door until I know they're gone. I burned all the bridges with my friends by just not talking anymore and I never told anyone but my mom what happened because she was my emergency contact when I went to the hospital. I have absolutely no social interaction whatsoever with anyone unless absolutely necessary and even then it's usually only a few words, I can't make eye contact. I feel emasculated. Haven't even tried to get a girlfriend or anything despite desperately craving intimacy but I don't feel like a man anymore, like I could ever take care of anyone or make them feel safe because I can't even take care of myself. I just sit at home all day doing shit online and stuff to keep myself distracted, CE is my only social interaction and even online sometimes I get a PM or something and I get severe anxiety, don't know how to respond or what to say. I'm broke, depressed, agoraphobic, filled with anxiety, probably PTSD, and I'm living off frozen dinners, ramen and cheap and quick stuff like that. I was never able to see a professional or get any medication or anything like that, I just feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper with no way out. Right now, as stupid as it might sound, my plan for progress is to try to be more social on CE and scrounge up some money in the next few months to buy a decent headset like a HyperX Cloud Alpha, Playstation Platinum, or Arctis 7 and try to pick up some games where communication is important like Rainbow 6 Siege, Overwatch, etc. To force myself to talk to try to get over my fear and/or anxiety of human interaction as a first step. Might sound dumb but that's really the best I've got right now. There's not really a point to this topic, just /blogfaqs I guess. I'm just having extra anxiety because it's coming up soon and like I said CE is my only social outlet so I'm just talking to talk I guess. --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
| Topic | Girls Choice CEprom |
| RockRapDubstep 02/21/18 7:22:42 AM #51 | Bump for more romanCE --- God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar |
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