| Board List | Page List: 1 |
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| Topic | Need some random advice regarding a parody story of the Christmas Nativity. |
| SpaceBear_ 12/20/18 10:14:45 PM #1 | How can I add in the three wise men? So, I'm writing a parody version of the classic tale of Mary and Joseph, travelling to Bethlemhem and eventually giving birth to Jesus Christ. Here's an excerpt: *Two days later, Mary and Joseph are in town and are approached by Roman soldiers.* Roman: Hey! You pair. State your names. Mary: Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Roman: What? What is it? Mary: That's our names. Roman: Oh...right. Who is Jesus? Mary: I carry him in my womb. He's the son of God and I am his chosen vessel. Roman: You, Joseph. Is she mental? Jospeh: Well sir, an angel came to visit her with news from God. A son is to be born to her with the blessing of God. His name will be Jesus and he'll be the one true King. Roman: A simple 'yes' would have been fine. Listen here, the Roman Empire is holding a census. If you are not from these parts, you must leave and return to your home town. Mary: But I am unfit to travel! Didn't you hear me say I am carrying the unborn child of God. I can't possibly travel all the way to Bethlehem. Joseph: Is there nothing you can do, Mr Roman? Please don't make me go back to my mother-in-law. Roman: Oh, we can absolutely change the rules just for you two. I'll send a message to the Emperor right now saying that his Royal Decree is inconvenient for two local nutjobs. Mary: Really?! Roman: No. Get the hell out of town. ---- Mary: What are we going to do, Joseph? This is your responsibility as the father.....figure of my child. Joseph: We have no choice, my love. We must travel to Bethlehem. I can build us a carriage for the trip. Mary: Ha! Yeah, right. Jesus will be a man with children of his own by the time you've finished. I'm still waiting on that bookcase you promised you'd build after our wedding. No, just buy a donkey, Joseph. I'll ride it like a bloody peasant and you can walk it. *Mary and Joseph knock on the door of the inn and an old man in a dressing gown answers* Innkeeper: What? Mary: Excuse me?! That is no way to welcome a vessel of God! One who carries His Holy Son within her womb! Joseph: I'm also here. Innkeeper: What, you want a room? We're full. Sorry, not sorry. We can't fit any more guests in. Mary: But I am with child! Innkeeper: Yeah, exactly. So we definitely can't fit you in. Try somewhere else. Joseph: Listen here, sir. My name is Joseph and this is my wife, Mary. She's pregnant with - er, with a baby. I'm a carpenter by trade. My business is booming. Making shit out of wood is really popular these days. I can pay you whatever you like. Innkeeper: Cool story, bro. Make yourself a wooden hearing aid. I told you there's no room. Goodbye. *The door slams* Mary: Great help you are, husband. Now what do we do? And why didn't you tell him I was pregnant with God's child? Joseph: Yeah, somehow I doubt he was gonna buy that. Mary: Everyone else believes it! Joseph: Totally...oh look! There's a shed over there. Mary: We're not asking him if we can stay in his bloody shed! Joseph: We're not asking him anything. Let's go. I need ideas on how to introduce the ''Three Wise Men'' who gift this crazy couple with frankincense, myrrh and gold. What you got, PotD? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Sheldon is getting a video game system on Young Sheldon tonight (Nov. 8) |
| SpaceBear_ 11/08/18 11:17:18 PM #5 | Why is that such a bad show? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Do you feel your right to own firearms and lifestyle is under attack? |
| SpaceBear_ 11/08/18 11:10:20 PM #18 | muh gunz --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | I've always been a good guy, but I did something bad. |
| SpaceBear_ 09/15/18 12:23:20 AM #4 | Poor advice so far. My town is corrupt as hell. Any bartender in the place would have kept it, guaranteed. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | I've always been a good guy, but I did something bad. |
| SpaceBear_ 09/15/18 12:17:57 AM #1 | I'm not the kind of dude who would sell your Grandma. I'm the kind of dude who will sit and listen to your Grandma boring me to tears for a weekend 'cause I'm too nice to tell her I don't give a fuck. But listen, I live and work in tourist town full of bars and clubs. It's The Strip in Portugal. So I finish work at 4am the other night and go to a club with a couple of guys. As we are on the dancefloor throwing shapes, I suddenly stand on a phone. I pick the phone up and parade it around my head for a bit seeing if anyone would claim it. No one did. So I pocketed the phone and promptly pocketed it. The next day, I wake up around noon. I'm hungover as fuck. I hear the phone ringing, but by the time I drag myslef out of bed and go to the kitchen where I left it, the ringing has stopped. My first reaction is ''WTF. How do I have this phone?'' Then I remembered finding it. It's a Samsung S7. It has several missed calls off some people called Mum and Dad. Also it has two text messages. I know you stole my phone. Get in touch and I won't tell the police. Last chance. Give the phone back and I won't do anything to you. I'm looking at these messages in bewilderment. I didn't fucking steal shit.Ain't my fault you dropped your phone on a dancefloor, dumbass. I felt like utter shit and had work in a few hours, so I left the phone alone. (It was Pin-Locked, so I can't get into it.) I wake up again another hour or so later. More missed calls and a new, haunting text message. I know where you are. Come down to *the restaurant beneath my apartment building* and no police will be involved. Honestly, I was kind of pissed off. Yeah, they'd tracked the phone, but I was pretty sure they wouldn't know my exact location via GPS when my apartment block is seven stories high. And they were treating me like a goddamn thief without knowing the story. The phone started to ring in my hand. Another from this mysterious ''Mum''. And I decided not to answer because, guess what you guys? My phone recently broke....and I really need a new one. Eventually, the phone battery died and it stopped constantly ringing. My current plan is to leave it a week, until it's likely the previous owners have left the country. (They were British and Brits usually only stay for a week or so here.) I feel like a scumbag, tbh. I've never stolen anything in my life. But after my recent pone breakage, I feel this is karma or God or something throwing me a line. Due to the wages in Portugal, I would never be able to buy a phone of this calibre by myself. And the previous owner probably has it insured. I dunno. What would you hve done, PotD? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Playing through Dragon Quest 8 right now, I don't get it. |
| SpaceBear_ 08/31/18 6:22:32 AM #7 | I love DQ VIII so much --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | What are your thoughts on the game "Legend of Dragoon"? |
| SpaceBear_ 08/27/18 4:16:45 AM #12 | Had massive translation issues. Script is really bad at times, but overall very enjoyable. Add me to the list of those who never got round to finishing it, though. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Without giving it away, describe your job in one sentence. |
| SpaceBear_ 08/27/18 4:12:21 AM #8 | "No, I'm not Canadian. What would you like to drink?" --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Who is your favorite Marvel (Movie) Villain? |
| SpaceBear_ 08/26/18 10:52:43 AM #20 | quigonzel posted... Veedrock- posted...Ronan. People seem to rave about him having a unique motive, but it's literally just revenge. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | ROUND 1, FIGHT! Jen0125 vs. SunWuKung420, ok? |
| SpaceBear_ 08/16/18 11:25:01 PM #49 | Damn it Sunny, you gotta PUNCH THE WOMAN --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Aretha Franklin, "Queen of Soul", is dead at 76 |
| SpaceBear_ 08/16/18 1:36:50 PM #18 | Oh yeah, she sang that one song. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Someone offers you $10,000,000 to do a job for them... |
| SpaceBear_ 08/08/18 11:42:29 AM #64 | Ain't doing no gay sex --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | I just drank long expired milk out of schizophrenic ritual |
| SpaceBear_ 08/05/18 1:23:53 AM #9 | You're gonna be unwell real soon. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Would you have sex with Scarlett Johansson for 1 million dollars? |
| SpaceBear_ 08/05/18 1:23:08 AM #22 | DirtBasedSoap posted... id ask my girlfriend first cause i love her and would never cheat but i think she might go for it if i gave her a couple hundred thousand I like this poster more and more every day. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | 18 y/o Kid who's DEVELOPMENTALLY DELAYED picks up a BOY and THROWS him 30FT!!! |
| SpaceBear_ 08/05/18 1:21:00 AM #7 | Aww, I thought it was 30 foot in the air. Was hoping for a superhero origin topic. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Unapologetically offensive topic |
| SpaceBear_ 08/05/18 1:18:55 AM #22 | Why are the Spanish so terrible at speaking English? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | It's sober August guys |
| SpaceBear_ 08/05/18 1:17:22 AM #55 | It's the height of summer. Why tf would I want to stop drinking or doing drugs? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | When I think Boy Bands, I always think of the 90s but... |
| SpaceBear_ 08/05/18 1:13:56 AM #14 | Snake posted... PK_Spam posted...Off the top of my head the 2000s and 2010s had/have This is the truth of it. Boy bands and girl groups. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Thinking about getting a tattoo |
| SpaceBear_ 08/04/18 4:48:02 PM #21 | Good idea to commemorate your Euro trip, imo --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Would you have a drink with this poster? (Day 9) ParanoidObsessive |
| SpaceBear_ 08/01/18 3:41:35 PM #13 | FatalAccident posted... Yeah --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | I'm 31 years old and still a virgin |
| SpaceBear_ 08/01/18 3:58:45 AM #48 | The correct answer is yes. Get it out of your system and then you can take the refs of the advice given in this topic. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | the swimming hole near my house has a nudist problem |
| SpaceBear_ 08/01/18 3:47:29 AM #4 | Kyuubi4269 posted... I thought the problem was a lack of nudists. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Do you Iike mayonnaise? |
| SpaceBear_ 08/01/18 3:04:41 AM #3 | Why this again? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | attn: icoyar |
| SpaceBear_ 08/01/18 3:04:10 AM #2 | What icoyar? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | apparently this 13 year old girl's insta account is a front for something? |
| SpaceBear_ 08/01/18 2:50:34 AM #39 | Just looks like a kid playing dress-up to me. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | First thing you do after sex... |
| SpaceBear_ 08/01/18 2:14:03 AM #12 | Pay up. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | You get to be a elemental bender. |
| SpaceBear_ 07/31/18 5:10:50 AM #22 | If I had enemies and bad guys to fight, then fire. Otherwise, earth. Air and water are gay. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Are you happy with how you look nude? |
| SpaceBear_ 07/30/18 8:27:26 AM #43 | For a topic about nudes, this topic is lacking in nudes. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Would you have a drink with this poster? (Day 4) Jen0125 |
| SpaceBear_ 07/27/18 12:47:35 PM #10 | No, her voice is whiny and irritating. Sorry Jen, ily but srsly --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Your username is now your name |
| SpaceBear_ 07/27/18 2:04:49 AM #27 | Johnny Eagle posted... Not much, if at all Great action hero. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | In need of some good ps1 and ps2 games |
| SpaceBear_ 07/27/18 2:02:51 AM #11 | Also, get Tactics, wtf is wrong with you --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | In need of some good ps1 and ps2 games |
| SpaceBear_ 07/27/18 2:02:06 AM #10 | AverageBoss posted... Lunar 2: Eternal Blue for PS1 as well (after you play the 1st anyways). They've all been mentioned, but extra shout-out to both Lunars and LoD. I was once in a very similar position to you and I can't recommend these games enough. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Nilbog? ... .... .... .... I think that's Dracula spelled backwards |
| SpaceBear_ 07/26/18 11:05:16 PM #5 | What is going on --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Your username is now your name |
| SpaceBear_ 07/26/18 8:50:22 PM #16 | I'll be SpaceBear. No prob. Having "Underscore" as a surname would be pretty cool. --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | I'm thinking of a Pokemon. Let's play 20 questions. |
| SpaceBear_ 07/25/18 10:28:52 PM #2 | Is it Peek At You? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Walking Dead/Fear The Walking Dead crossover is dumb. SPOILERS. |
| SpaceBear_ 07/25/18 10:11:23 PM #1 | Morgan is the worst, most boring character. Should've died a long time ago. Have struggled with FTWD in season four because he's so bad. Who tf cares about Morgan? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Would you have a drink with this poster? (Day 2) Zeus |
| SpaceBear_ 07/25/18 10:08:43 PM #23 | Whole concept is implying that the way people post is how they act irl --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
| Topic | Today's Poll of the Day is missing an option |
| SpaceBear_ 07/24/18 12:40:16 AM #4 | What poll? --- - God bless, downtime and TheSlinja. GameFAQs' Favourite Sons. - Official Barman Of Champion Pub |
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