Lurker > Suprak the Stud

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

ninkendo posted...

My initial thought was 10-15 so these poll options seem too low

Yeah I feel like if this was a random distribution of all 25 year olds with no restrictions, Id put the number at like 15 or so. Five is way too low.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

ChaosTonyV4 posted...

In conclusion:

https://twitter.com/jbouie/status/1372892085876035589?s=21

Boy oh boy will you be sorry when my methie chip cookies hit the market.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Also shout out to Johnbobb. I was watching through the Game Grumps playthrough of this because of him, and the first 9 minutes of this video (where they encounter the fake injured Celeste) had me laughing out loud. I think it very clearly illustrates (especially with them speaking her lines) just how stupid Celeste sounded about the STRANGE and SUSPICIOUS man that attacked her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEhYiVprkGY

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

And that is sort of my issue with the case. It is a series of clues that are obnoxiously obvious and dont even give a believable red herring it could be. Hiro is ruled out almost as soon as you see him in the suit, and the game doesnt even pretend to offer up anyone else for consideration. I had a general sense of what happened as soon as we found Takas body and knew exactly what happened once we had the glasses cleaning cloth. The trial felt largely perfunctory because I was immediately ready for the next case while everyone else is so dumb they cant figure out what is wrong with Hiros robot costume. And because of that, things drag. Imagine youre in a situation where you know the solution to something and youre waiting for everyone else to catch up, because that is essentially what is going on in this case. Like you finish some complex multi-step math problem and you look up and the teacher is trying to explain to the rest of the class how two plus two equals four. Thats sort of what a case like this is like when you know the ending and all the twists because of how obvious they are, but youre forced to walk through the case step by step with a cast of characters intentionally written to seem dumb.

I mentioned Kyoko getting in the way of the game a lot because of how the authors need to write her character, and I think this case is the clearest example of what happens when you insert someone who is supposed to be smarter than everyone else into a cast like this. Kyoko is literally just spelling things out this case while everyone else is drinking paint in the corner of the room. The only possible interesting twist in this entire case that I could theoretically see people not having figured out immediately was that Hifumi was not dead until he reached the second room. I think the glasses cleaning case makes this obvious, and I at least knew as soon as I saw that evidence what happened, but Im willing to give people some leeway here if they hadnt pieced it together by that point. But in the trial, this is solved not by you presenting evidence or catching someone in a mistake, but by Kyoko literally saying hey what if Hifumi WASNT dead at the start and cue dramatic music. She leads almost the entire trial, along with some help from Byakuya, and the trial winds up being this really bad combination of wading through stuff you figured out two hours ago and not even having the satisfaction of presenting the evidence yourself because Kyoko is jumping up and down to spoil everything as quickly as possible.

Oh, and I mentioned this as a clue like three weeks ago now so Im sure no one remembers, but this is absolutely the execution that hit me with the least impact in either game, primarily because of how confused I was by what was going on. She was going to be burned at the stake, which is a punishment I have always associated with witches and I never really got a witch vibe from her. Maybe the whole gothic thing was meant to associate with witches, but she had just talked about vampires like a minute ago so I wasnt making the connection. But thena bus just drives into her? Leon is killed with a pitching machine, Mondo in one of those daredevil motorcycle cages, and each one fits their ultimate ability. Then we get to the ultimate gambler and she getsplowed by a bus? It doesnt seem to fit at all, and when I was playing I had no clue what the hell was going on. I just sort of stared at the final screen blinking like what the hell did I just watch? I looked it up after playing the game (or maybe someone in topic explained it to me?) and the reasoning was Celeste was all about being unique and glamorous, and being killed by a traffic accident would suck for her because it was a very boring, routine way to die. So she wouldve preferred the burning at the stake but then Monokuma switched it up to a more common execution to cause despair. Which..fine? I guess. It makes more sense that way, but it definitely wasnt something I was thinking of and, looking across both games, I think this is the only punishment that seems completely independent of the ultimate ability of the punish-ee. Even with the context, Im still pretty unimpressed by it and it is definitely my least favorite execution in either game, and there is really only one other that is even in the same ballpark of bad.

Even with all my complaints though, I still slot this one just above that bottom tier of cases because I didnt completely hate it. I dont mind the underlying scheme here, and two people winding up dead was definitely unexpected. I think this is one of those cases where maybe they had the idea (someone kills someone else, then gets killed themself) first, and tried to work backwards from there. Like, that is an interesting idea for a case but they botched the execution of it by making things way too obvious from the start. And there were certainly some moments I liked. The photograph reveal was hilarious and I did chuckle a good amount at Hiro trying to figure out what the hell was going on while he was very incompetently defending himself. This is also the last free time where youre really working with a nice big cast, too, so the prelude to the murder isnt the absolute worst (even if I did hate the weird computer-virgin-SS Taka fusion love triangle thing). It still had that very good tension of oh a lot of these people are still going to die which I did appreciate.

And, finally, I did enjoy Celestes turn at the end. A lot of the voice acting in this game is definitely a tier down compared to the second game, but Celestes voice actor really did a great job with the reveal and subsequent tone change. I do appreciate the whole ok she has been kind of hiding this side of herself the entire game thing she had going on, especially because that is what someone like Byakuya shouldve been doing if there plan was to escape. She makes a good sort of secondary villain in the game. Someone who isnt killing out of desperation or reaction but just because she wants to leave and everyone else is disposable. She really saves the end of the case for me, just a bit, and it was nice to see her go down at the very end. It just took way to long to get there. For me, almost the entire trial from the start until Celestes breakdown is completely skippable with absolutely nothing of interest happening, and most of the investigation stuff is also just kind of whatever. Like I said at the start of this write up, this is a boring chapter and just like 1-5, this one kind of just feels like filler. It is a shame that this is the way Celeste winds up going out, because she deserved better than this. We all deserved better than this, really, and the shortcomings of 1-3 sort of signaled the downfall of the first game for me from excellent to just good.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

CASE RANKING
#10: Case 1-3
Strengths: Celestes turn at the end is pretty cool, Hifumi dies
Weaknesses: Everything is extremely obvious and drawn out, it makes Celeste look like an idiot
The One Sentence Summary: The case where a robot sadly does not commit murder.

Case 2-2 was the case in the second game where I wound up having a mild panic attack about the quality of the game. Everything was going fine through the first case, and then I hit the second case and I was like oh no is this game dumb? It was this huge drop down in quality and huge chunks of it were either boring and straight up stupid, and my excitement definitely dipped while playing it. The exact same thing happened, albeit to a lesser extent in case 1-3. My problems with 1-3 are markedly different than the issues I was having with 2-2, but I still kinda link these two together because they represented the uh oh point for me in the game. The case that hits and immediately lowers your overall opinion of the title because you can more clearly see the shortcomings of the formula when the case really struggles. Id assume this is most peoples least favorite case in the first game, as I think more people might be more forgiving of 1-5 than I was. There are a lot of issues with 1-3, both from a story and a gameplay perspective, but honestly the biggest problem with this case is the fact that it is really quite boring.

There are a lot of reasons that 1-3 is boring, but I think most of them stemmed from the fact that this was also the case I figured out the earliest. There is a case in this same game where the murderer's name is written in the victims blood and it isnt a red herring. This case was easier for me to figure out than that one, which should tell you a bit about how dumb the overall murder plot is. I figured out who did this one before we found the body. As soon as Celeste was like this WEIRD man came out of nowhere and here is a picture of him I was already trying to figure out what Celestes execution was going to look like. I did not know who was murdered, but I was 99% sure who did the murdering. There isnt a single person in either game that acts more suspiciously than Celeste did in that initial scene, and I feel like I should remind everyone there is a case I already ranked where the murderer wants people to think they were the murderer. If I was trying to write a comedy scene where a very obvious murderer was trying to incompetently convince people they didnt commit a murder, Im not sure I wouldve been so on the nose as Celeste was here.

Likethe first piece of evidence we get is Celeste going oof ouch ow the STRANGE man got me with the justice hammer oof ouch and then he kidnapped Hifumi ouch ouch oh hey guys look I got a picture. Likeno, fuck you, Im not falling for this you idiot. You expect me to believe you got beaten by some Transformer that made their way into the school and you were knocked unconscious but you snapped to just to take a quick picture? Like her order of events is: 1) she is attacked by a robot, 2) she gets knocked unconscious, 3) she wakes up and begs the robot to spare her life, 4) she waits for Hifumi to walk into the room and get grabbed by the robot so she can take a picture. The plot she is trying to get people to believe is so monumentally unbelievable that it is instantly obvious she is lying. That right there is all the evidence you need to convict Celeste. The trial shouldve been Monokuma going now you have to decide whodunit and then everyone bursting out in uproarious laughter as they point at Celeste and go remember when she showed us that picture she took? She is freaking out at the end like HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE PICTURE THEN MORONS? and even the dumb characters are like you just staged it. The picture might as well been a crayon drawing she made for all the good it winds up doing her.

Then Celeste spends the next twenty minutes leading everyone around and proclaiming she is seeing shadows no one else can see to get them to run where she wants. It is like you are chasing an imaginary monster at this point and just pretending with the four-year-old youre playing with that yes you totally see it too so they dont feel dumb. Her argument is that Hiro is running around in an enormous robot costume, between three floors, killing multiple people, launching four separate attacks, and literally no one else sees him the entire time. I know this is a game and there is absolutely some silliness and weirdness allowed in the Danganronpa universe, but this is a level of nonsense I just cant overlook. Like I will buy into rules specific to your universe because I need to for the plot to go forward. That sort of stuff Im willing to overlook. I have a harder time swallowing gaps in logic like the fact nobody in this group is like hey isnt weird we didnt see a giant robot with low maneuverability wandering around when Celeste said he was? It is a plot that should be discredited in mere seconds because of how dumb the whole thing is.

It is weird because before this case it seems like Celeste is smart, but all the evidence here is so stupid and so obvious it is kind of shocking she went along with this. It is so utterly bizarre she thought we were going to buy Hiro in a giant robot costume as the killer here. Like he is found passed out at the pool with a robot suit that doesnt bend or move and comes with a latch in the back that makes it impossible to take off. LikeCeleste isnt supposed to be an idiot. This is so dumb that if you pitched it to Hiro, he wouldve been like hey I have some concerns about our plan here guys I don't think you thought this all the way through. Youre trying to convince people that the culprit was a person running around in a robot costume but then you design the costume in such a way that it makes it physically impossible for the person inside of it to have done it. I know Celeste tries to blame Hifumi for this, but lady this is your plan and your life on the line here. Once Hifumi starts pitching enormous robot that the person has to live in for the rest of their lives or have someone else help them out, just punch him in the face and tell him you were joking about murdering anyone.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Nanis23 posted...

Wild guess-
Countershade stage

Yep thats it.

I dont mind the game honestly but I absolutely hate this level.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Anagram posted...

I cant wait for Suprak to rate the guy driving the truck that hit Mondos brother

Oh dang now I kinda wish I had bumped the list up to 41. Shucks.

I bet I could get 800 words on unnamed truck driver, easy.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

TheRock1525 posted...

Doesn't simping also require the woman to have few, if any, redeeming qualities?

It did at some point. The word has evolved back to mean what KP said.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Yes

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

I thought MN9 was "fine". It wasn't great, but it got some hate it didn't deserve and a lot of the issues are absolutely issues in the lower quality MM games as well. The dashing mechanic was fun and I actually enjoyed the speed run/single continue challenge modes. Once you got a hang of the mechanics, it wasn't any more difficult than a standard MM title.

There is one level that is absolute trash though, and far and away my least favorite level in any of the MM games. The art style is also hideously ugly and the voice acting is embarrassing. Overall though, if you like MM games this one is disappointing but certainly playable imo.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

I havent seen these nominees but Im shocked Hubie Halloween didnt get a worst picture nod.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Kazuchi from Danganronpa 2

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

xp1337 posted...

Ah, fair enough. Think I still rate the insurrection first because of the stakes/"what if it had worked" but fair if you want to say it was unsuccessful while Lincoln could and did get away with that.

What about forced internment of a large population of American citizens?

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Im not sure if this is the funniest but it is absolutely the one my friends and I quoted the most. Winters were ruined for us for years.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1la8E6D3_M0

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Oh, and one last thing to support my theory that only I care about since everyone else has seen the anime and might already know if Teruteru kills her or not. At the end of the game, they list off all the terrible things the Ultimate Despair has done and has some accompanying pictures about who does what. They say someone forced people to commit suicide and show what looks like Kazuichis back to the camera with a machine gun. They say people mutilated their bodies with pieces of Junko and show Fuyuhiko jamming one of her eyes into his head (which interestingly is the eye he loses during the game). They say some people murdered their own familiesand the picture they show isnt Teruterus mom. Now if Teruteru actually did kill his mom and, considering she was the one family member besides Fuyuhikos sister we saw all game, we already know what she looks like, this would be the perfect time to slap her picture up there for a real OH SHIT NO WAY kind of moment. They dont. So for now Im sticking with my theory that she was already dead by the time all of this went down. BUT THATS JUST A THEORY.

A DANGANRONPA THEORY.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

#29: Teruterus Mom
Side Character Ranking: 4/8
Ultimate Ability: None
Actual Ultimate Ability: Ultimate Attempt To Make You Feel Sympathetic For A Character You Hate

So we come to number 29 and HEY WAIT. YOU! DONT JUST SKIP THIS WRITE UP. If there was any write-up I thought you guys might just skim over, it would be this one because Teruterus mom is literally the most inconsequential character on this list. BUT she wasnt the character I just shoehorned in to get an even 40. No no no, my friends. She was 39. That most minor, most inconsequential character to make the list is still forthcoming. I have actual thoughts on Teruterus mom. Not so much what she does in the game, of course, but rather just general timeline theory thoughts so she was a minor character I did actually want to talk about.

I will say that this is sort of the demarcation point. Everyone below this spot is sub Teruterus mom, which means I actually disliked them quite a bit for me to favor this woman who shows up for roughly two minutes in the entire game. Consider every character above this to be better than a character you probably even forgot was in this game. A minor victory, but still! Thats quite a few characters I dont actively dislike, which is saying something for a game with a cast like this. I mean, honestly, I dont really like Teruterus mom. There isnt much to her and she looks like someone asked the writers to come up with a list of lines for generic strong mom and this is what we got. But I also dont dislike her and I think her character is actually somewhat interesting, especially when taking in context of Teruteru.

The mom here loses some points for being associated with Teruteru. Anyone who raised this pervert had to have done something wrong. Sure, she seems sweet, but there is no way she didnt notice him fondling the dumplings and she never told him to stop, is what Im saying. She does come across as a good mom though, at the very least. She is letting Teruteru go and pursue his dreams even though she could clearly use his help around the diner. It isnt too often we get a supportive parent shot in these games, so her character stands out all the more because of it. Something about being a good parent resonates with me right now for some reason, and even in her short time you can tell she loves her son and wants him to succeed. That sort of emotion is in short supply in this game, so her little ray of sunshine doesnt go completely unnoticed. She is slightly saccharine, and like I said while playing it that whole Moms are strong line gave me flashbacks to the corny line from FFXIII that everyone made fun of.

Anyway, there isnt much else to say about Teruterus mom and her four lines, so lets get into theories while I have some time to ramble. A theory that I do like is that Teruteru murders his own mother after joining team despair. In 2-6, they bring up all the terrible stuff people did and specifically list Junko forced some people to kill their own families after they joined Ultimate Despair. And, honestly, it makes a lot of sense for Teruteru to if anyone in this cast was going to do it. There arent a lot of people here that had good home lives. Mikan and Akane were abused and we know Peko doesnt have family at home and even Hajime likely wouldnt care all that much considering he was morphed into some other person completely. If Junko was going to spread despair to the Ultimate Despair by forcing them to kill their own families, Teruteru is really one that stands out as oh yeah this dude straight up murdered his mom. He seems to have a great home life and is the one of only a couple of characters we see that has a non-miserable home life where this sort of action would actually fit. It would make that little snippet we see of him and his mom a great little bit of foreshadowing and it would be a great way to illustrate just how manipulative Junko is. A good theory.

NO WAIT THATS WRONG!

But I dont think thats what happened. My personally theory is that Teruterus mommy is already dead shortly after Teruteru leaves home. We have a very short scene with the two of them so we dont get very much info, but one thing Teruteru points out in this very limited interaction is that he is worried about leaving specifically because his mom collapsed very recently. They dont go into what specific health problem she has but she specifically tells Teruteru I wont lose to some illness. You know who says that in movies? People who lose to some illness one scene later. They couldnt have been flashing a more clear hey yo this lady is dying from something like right now warning sign. She also doesnt seem like she can adequately take care of herself because she is stressed out about the diner. Teruteru promises his mom hes going to become a famous chef to save it, which gives me the impression that the diner itself might not be doing all that well. So even though we dont know exactly what is going on with his mom, Teruterus mom is not 100% when he leaves and the game wants us to know that. Thats one of the reasons he wants to get out of here. He wants to go home and help his mom because hes worried about her.

See, my theory isnt that Teruterus mom dies because Teruteru joins the Ultimate Despair. My theory is that Teruterus mom dies and that CAUSES Teruteru to join the Ultimate Despair. Im assuming everyone here has reasons for joining up with Junko. Some weakness she can exploit or some reason she has for targeting them. Something that caused these people to sink into despair while we have another class full of people in the first game that were strong enough to resist it. So, imagine Teruteru goes off to school and shortly after his mom collapses again and this time Teruteru isnt around to help her. What if his mom diesand its Teruterus fault for leaving. Now, that is the sort of thing that could really send someone spiraling towards despair, I think. Teruteru blames himself for his mothers death. The one woman who loved him and supported him and fostered his love for cooking. Now thats gone. He cant even get joy out of cooking any longer because it is forever linked to his mom the woman he left to die. Seems like a good time for Junko to swoop in and make her move, doesnt it?

of course I havent seen the anime so this whole thing is probably rendered moot by the first episode but whatever. For now it is my pet theory and I like it. Its probably the only reason Teruterus mom makes it into this tier while other random characters that have almost no lines are in the tiers below. I had a fun time trying to rationalize ok now why did this person give into despair after I learned the chapter 6 twist, and I thought figuring out the role Teruterus mom had in the whole thing was kind of fun. She seemed like a nice enough lady, too, and it also helped she wasnt this complete and utter asshole to her kid like Kyokos dad was. He played a more important role in the story, but Teruterus mom might not be entirely unimportant regardless of how you theorize about what happened to her. She has like two lines so I cant put her any higher than this, but honestly it isnt all that bad considering all she does is say moms are strong and then probably die off screen. Best parent in the game, at least.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

ChaosTonyV4 posted...

Unless Im reading this wrong, he wants to raise taxes on the rich?

uh, yes please?

Yeah I was gonna say if Im reading this right this sounds like uh...

...based Manchin?

No I cant be reading that right then.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Imagine believing the administration that told everyone they'd get $2000 checks immediately.

I mean that's more on dumb people not understand how legislation works than it is on Biden. "Early March" is basically immediately by government standards. It was clearly a high priority. It isn't Biden's fault people are too dumb to understand that!

I mean it is his fault that he didn't commit to a more generous or recurring package or push for better unemployment but I don't blame his for the timing because this was what most people assumed was best case scenario.

StealThisSheen posted...

I think this rhetoric only works if it's literally been that long. When it has literally only been the first line then it's pointless and dishonest rhetoric.

You can't say "I told you so" about a whole term when it hasn't been the whole term.

red has a valid point that it's only been two months. Tony has a valid point that they should have been prepared to make more progress than they have. Let's not dismiss it all completely as if it's already said and done, though.

I think it is better to err on Tony's side of logic until they, you know, actually do something about it. But I understand your point!

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

https://twitter.com/briantylercohen/status/1369408493116096515?s=20

I am ready for Ohio to inevitably let me down.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Oh and I should do a case rankings update I suppose since I finished off the bottom tier! There are four cases I don't really like, but only two that I really, really don't like. I'll call that tier the Rotten Strawberry Tier. Ever get a carton of delicious strawberries, and in that carton is like one gross moldy strawberry that got punctured by something at some point and you want to just throw it away immediately so it doesn't ruin the rest of the strawberries? That's what case 1-5 and 2-2 were for me. We now move on to the Prequel Trilogy Tier. These cases are dumb, but I still have a strange fondness for parts of them and I'm willing to ignore some of the dumber stuff when taken in context of the series as a whole. There will be two cases in this tier as well!

Rotten Strawberry Tier:
12) 1-5
11) 2-2

Prequel Trilogy Tier:
10) Coming up: The execution scene I understood the least in either game

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

That finishes up the last of the characters I don't particularly like. Everyone on the list so far I have more negative opinions about than positive ones. This next upcoming tier are the characters I don't really feel much about either way. i don't dislike these characters. I don't like these characters. Most of the time they're just there, sitting around and not doing much of anything. This will be the Hearing About Someone Else's Fantasy Football Team Tier a.k.a. Stuff I Don't Really Care About But Will Tolerate Because It Is Connected To Stuff I Care About Tier. These are the more forgetable characters of the bunch. And most of them will be exactly who you are probably anticipating!

M&M In A Bowl Full Of Skittles Tier:
40) Toko Fukawa
39) Ultimate Imposter

Scrappy Doo Tier:
38) Teruteru Hanamura
37) Natsumi Kuzuryu
36) Hifumi Yamada
35) Sato

Drinking Almond Milk When I Thought It Was Supposed To Be Regular Milk Tier:
34) Monomi
33) Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu
32) Byakuya Togami
31) Kyoko Kirigiri
30) The Headmaster

Hearing About Someone Else's Fantasy Football Team Tier:
29) Coming up: Actually, my last clue could probably apply here too!

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Like, follow your dreams dude, but Kyoko makes it super clear that she has had zero contact with her father before she arrives at the school. Like no phone calls or letters or birthday presents or even that thing that Will Smiths dad did in Fresh Prince where he would promise to take him on trips and then just not show up. She didnt even get that. She didnt get even the pretense of caring about her. He neglected her for her entire life, and he did so for a job at a high school. She wants to find him so she can tell him that she hates him, which is probably a sign you have messed up as a father in some way. How awkward was that first meeting with Kyoko at the school? ALSO, he had to have seen she was admitted. Her last name is Kirigiri and he is the headmaster of the school. He still didnt contact her after he saw her name on the enrollment? He was like oh boy this could be awkward Im going to hope this is a different Kirigiri? I know Kyoko lost a large chunk of her memories, but she doesnt say I dont remember talking to my father but rather I remember specifically not talking to him and I remember my goal was to tell him I hated him. I almost feel like I have to be missing something here. Is Kyokos dad really this bad at dad-ing? If so, he is like first ballot hall of fame bad dad across all of fiction. It is hard to even come close to this level of bad dad.

Im also not entirely sure I follow his plan to save the students. The catastrophe is going on outside, which I would argue he is very responsible for since he let in both members of the Ultimate Despair into his school and let them recruit a bunch of people. He even says in some journal entry Kyoko finds something along the lines of jeez Mukuro seems like trouble and she is connected to the Ultimate Despair I better keep an eye on her oh jeez oh man what do I do? Well, maybe keep more of an eye on her so she and her sister dont recruit half of your school and get nearly the entire reserve department killed because of the inhumane experiments going on at your school. I also dont know how the research on Hajime is connected to Kyokos dad, but I have to assume he was at least aware of what was going on at his school and how they were experimenting on someone to change them into another person for the sake of a project that would never be funded by any agency and violates like six different ethical rules of research. But, again, ignoring that and how this is all his fault why does locking them in a building AND erasing their memories help them? I never fully understood the erase their memories part. Like, it makes 100% sense in the second game. But in the first gamewhy? He wants them in there to keep them safe, so he erases their memories so they dont know why theyre in there or why they want to stay in there? Like a full two years, POOF, gone. Replaced with absolutely nothing apparently so everyones first thought upon waking up is how did I get here. What was he even going to tell them? Maybe show them their videos they recorded? But then why go through the trouble of erasing their memories if he is just going to paraphrase stuff they knew? Did he just not get to Junko and Mukuro? Were they the last two? Thats some terrible luck if thats the case.

The only reason he wasnt even lower is the mystery of the headmaster was at least interesting from a story perspective (even though Id argue it fizzled out), and apparently he was at least trying to do what was best for his students (outside of Kyoko, who he probably continued to ignore). And, probably the biggest reason, for as large as the headmaster looms for a lot of the game, he is easy enough to ignore. He doesnt constantly get in my way or be an out of place serial killer or be a condescending jerk every time he talks to me. Hes just incompetent at his job and a horrible father, and most of this Im just extrapolating from what other people tell me. He is someone I dislike, but I dont really have to actively dislike him because hes never around. Hey, now at least I know how Kyoko feels!

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

#30: The Headmaster a.k.a. Kyokos Daddy a.k.a. Might Have A Real Name But I Was Too Afraid To Google It For Spoiler Reasons
Side Character Ranking: 5/8
Ultimate Ability: Dont think he has one
Actual Ultimate Ability: Ultimate Deadbeat Dad

This is the one character on the list where I dont actually know their name. I was afraid to google it in case it wound up leading me to spoilers since I havent seen the anime yet and dunno if he is going to appear in it or not. He is referenced a ton in the game, but his actual appearances are very limited. He appears in the opening scene to get murdered by Monokuma and then in the flashback tapes in the end. I think he actually does have a line of some sort where he is telling all of them that they probably cant leave the school and are they ok with that, but Im not 100% positive on that and dont feel like looking it up so maybe Im lying. That is the jist of what happens, at least. Other than that, he spends most of the game as a mystery and we dont know all that much about him. There is this mysterious aura around him up until the 5th case or so where Kyoko reveals that he is her father and the headmaster is not the mastermind, but before that you are trying to figure out who he might be and why he is doing this to you. So you dont find out all that much about him during the game. All I know about him is that he is the headmaster of Hopes Peak and Kyokos dad, and he is really, really bad at both of these jobs.

Let me see if I can rattle off some of this guys greatest accomplishments. Ill go into more of these in a moment but I think its important we see these all one after another. He abandons his daughter because he wants a different job. He doesnt speak to his daughter for years, forcing her to enroll in his stupid school just so she can talk to him in person to tell him to fuck off. He admits the following students into his school: Ultimate Despair, Ultimate Soldier (and despair), Ultimate Bike Gang Leader, Ultimate Yakuza, Ultimate Serial Killer. He forces them all into the school, bars them from leaving, and for some reason erases their memory so they dont know why theyre doing this. He lets Junko and Mukuro overpower him, getting himself killed in the process. And, either before, after, or during this, he allows them to install high tech security murderbots, surveillance feeds, and the sort of equipment needed to handle these right under his nose. I have played a lot of video games. I am not quite sure Ive encountered a character who has failed in every single way theyve tried to before like this guy has.

And I dont even know which one of his failings to elaborate on first. Maybe his chosen roster of students? Like that always stands out to me as insane. You have guys like the Ultimate Fanfic Creator walking around with someone like the Ultimate Soldier. In two classes this guy intentionally let in the Ultimate Yakuza, the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader, and the Ultimate Soldier. What kind of school are you running where you let in THE FUCKING YAKUZA? Do you know what the Yakuza does? Like best case scenario this kid is going to be trafficking drugs to like half the students in your school. Two murders actually occur at his school BEFORE the killing game happens because the yakuzas sister was bothering people and then the yakuza got mad and killed someone out of revenge. Can you imagine if your principals admission policy caused two different people to get murdered in the span of a year? How fast would they be fired? At the very least, maybe dont let in Mukuro, the Ultimate Soldier and Probable War Criminal into your class. After youve killed like your first dozen targets for your elite mercenary group, maybe high school life isnt for you. Skip geometry. This dude is just letting ANYONE in if they have an ultimate ability it feels like. Research that shit, man. Skip on the Ultimate Gang Leader and maybe just do boring stuff like the Ultimate Flutist. Itll be safer there.

And that isnt even counting the people he accidentally lets in. BOTH the Ultimate Despair and the Ultimate Serial Killer. These guys have like the two greatest kill counts of all time. These were at least by accident, so you come off as incompetent rather than intentionally malicious here. Your entire school is filled with criminals, murderers, and psychopaths so you cant just *shocked Pikachu meme* when the whole thing goes to hell. If you douse a bunch of dry branches with gasoline and lighter fluid, you are fully to blame when the arsonist that lives two doors down sets the whole thing on fire. If your specific goal was to get a group of high school kids murdered, Im not sure you could do a better job than what Kyokos dad did. Sure this was all done for the fun cast of characters that needed to appear in the game, which is fine, but it makes Kyokos dad look like an incompetent moron who is letting in the Ultimate Child Murderer and Ultimate Sex Offender because as long as they are the best at what they do, morality and safety and not getting everyone killed dont matter!

Im also a bit confused, and maybe the game just doesnt explain it, but why was he such a horrendous dad to Kyoko? Kyoko makes it sound like he just drops her off in a box at the fire station and nopes out so he can bea high school administrator? Why the hell does he need to give away the kid for that? I know he doesnt want to be a detective and that is some sort of shame to the family, but couldnt he at least hang on to the kid? Also imagine having a kid and then deciding nah I would much rather work at a high school with a bunch of other kids who arent mine AFTER having the kid. Like let me entertain some sort of wild idea where he thought you know I dont want to be a detective and it would be best for my daughter to be raised by the Kirigiri clan so she can still be a detective or whatever. But this dude apparently had the kid, then thought that, then thought the best solution was to cut of ties to his daughter forever. Like this wasnt a hey Kyoko I love you and miss you and I will visit and call but for your future you need to be raised by these people who can do what I cant. This was a BYE! and chucking Kyoko at the front door before speeding off in his 1997 Mercury Cougar so he could live that sweet life of running a school.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Back to characters!

Up next: considering my absence this past week or so was because I just had a kid, this character's appearance in my rankings seems to fit.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

UshiromiyaEva posted...

You guys enjoying having the same argument with literally no differences whatsoever for the 5th time?

Hello friend of UshiromiyaEva using his account. I see this is your first time in the politics topic.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

ChaosTonyV4 posted...

https://twitter.com/vp/status/1368701746323857410?s=21

why do they keep doing this

I mean photo ops are nothing new and politicians have been doing them since they first realized they could lie to people through film.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Yes

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Also if the talking filibuster really was advantageous then the republicans would already be using it. Theres a reason almost no one does it and its a mixture of optics and effort and why it is preferable to our current system.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

DoomTheGyarados posted...

I was quoting the musical Hamilton.

To be sure, sir.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

ChaosTonyV4 posted...

https://twitter.com/mattbinder/status/1368355113472040960?s=21

I mean that isnt shocking. Even Manchin wants an increase. He just wants it increased to an incredibly stupid amount.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Ashethan posted...

Have we had a topic title "Maniac Manchin" yet?

That sounds like the nickname Biden would give Manchin if he tweeted like Trump.

"Maniac" Manchin, who I consistently beat in the polls, just let down the people of WV BIG. He stands in the way of a beautiful $15 minimum wage. BIG for economy. BIG for working class. Smarten up, Joe! Be a TEAM player & win BIG in 2024!

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

DoomTheGyarados posted...

By the way I hate to say it but Nate is right on that one. Like Manchin is the worst but having a dem in WV is pretty crazy. Our goal should be to get WI back and glare harshly at other people in a lot bluer states tbh

I mean this is the smarter take but I am mad and want to say mean things about Manchin.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Sherrod Brown is democrats MVS imo. Even Tester scores above Manchin.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

xp1337 posted...

lol McConnell tried to get the Senate to adjourn until this morning late last night, got voted down, and Schumer has made them work all night for once.

finally

Senate has been in session for over 24 hours straight now. They're working through the last amendments now (most, if not all, being shit poison pills from Republicans.) Reporters noting that a lot of Senators are getting testy (probably from being forced to do their jobs) and I'm just laughing.

Honestly if Manchin hadn't been a complete useless asshole and worsened UI for literally zero reason, I would say the democrats actually handled this fairly well.

Like if they had kept UI as initially proposed and did this like a month earlier, I would've said this was a legitimately good bill. As is I'm pretty annoyed but at least I have the joy of republicans freaking out the democrats are helping at all, I guess.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Well thats even worse then!

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

StealThisSheen posted...

Oh so now the extra month is gone so it's just legit less money

I just can't

I actually *think* that is the extra month. The original proposal ended in August not September. And the tax free should offset it somewhat.

Obviously still bad and I wouldve preferred the $400 through the end of September but Manchin gonna Manchin I guess. Again his claim of bipartisanship is absurd because republicans wanted only $300 until July so Manchin made things worse to get ZERO republican votes.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

HashtagSEP posted...

So they're now saying it looks like Manchin may vote for BOTH amendments, and since there's a Republican out of town, it'd mean the dem one would win.

So this may have all been one giant ego flex

I just can't

If Manchin keeps UI at an acceptable level he is back in the necessary evil camp for me. He sucks but I was willing to defend him as long as he wasnt tanking Bidens signature legislation for no reason.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

CaptainOfCrush posted...

What the fuck is up with this woman. She dresses like an anime character with the wigs and stuff, she's young and was a Dem +1 flip... but the swerve is that she's completely spineless and evil?

Manchin's had his reputation for years, but Sinema has craptacularly exploded onto the bullshit scene.

Nope! I was trying to warn people when they were flexing that there was a bisexual woman taking Flakes old seat. She specifically listed Manchin as her inspiration when she was back in the house and she had the third highest Trump score of any democrat house member. This 100% isnt a surprise. With Arizona turning blue this might be someone you want to primary.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

PerfectChaosZ posted...

Eject him from the party

As the boards biggest Manchin defender, I am ok with this.

He is tanking Bidens agenda and is single handedly going to get the democrats blamed for his complete idiocy on this issue. 99% of the party is for this and he isnt but then the public perception is going to be well the democrats didnt want the stimulus either and they lowered UI!!! when it was just the republicans and fucking Manchin.

Oh and fuck Maine again holy shit.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Like this is what I find on Sinema:

The minimum wage provision is not appropriate for the reconciliation process, Sinema contested, expressing concern that a debate over a minimum wage hike would slow down the rollout of the relief package. It is not a budget item. And it shouldnt be in there,

so I cant tell if shes against $15 minimum or just the process Biden/Sanders were pushing for it. Either way sucks but one reasoning is bad and the other is inexcusable.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Is Sinema on board for $15? Thats the only one besides Manchin I thought had been opposed to it before today but I guess Im not 100% sure.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

xp1337 posted...

On the minimum wage amendment, IIRC, some of the 8 who voted against it are on the record as for $15. I think for most of those no votes (i.e. not Manchin) are procedural no votes as in "The parliamentarian said we can't do that in reconciliation and we respect her decision."

So, like, still a shit vote but I don't think that's indicative of $15/min wage support (or lack of) among Dems. Just an hour or so ago at a press conference the Press Secretary said that Biden is still with Sanders on $15 and is not lowering his target number fwiw. That said, if Manchin remains opposed to it "welp." Sanders himself just said that the issue will be brought back up (though not in this bill ofc)

Oh ok thanks. That is far less infuriating then.

That said Manchin has proven to be nothing but trouble and I cant imagine him being cool next time the dems try to do something useful.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

UltimaterializerX posted...

Not just him.

https://twitter.com/mkraju/status/1367886228125855750?s=21

Sinema did a little dance to rub it in.

Go ahead, Tony. Say it. Ulti was right.

Carper and Coons needs to be launched out of the party into the sun. Those are safe seats. The others are bad but those two are inexcusable.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

UshiromiyaEva posted...

Because they only have a majority on paper.

Manchin straight up doesn't count when it comes time to vote.

He is a worthless existence.

Yeah this is no longer dem majority. Theyve had to compromise so much to get him on board and at this point its worthless to have 50 because then you have people blaming dems because Manchin and Sinema want to stall everything.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Basically the senate sucks and I dont see the democrats having much more than 50 senators like...ever.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

Manchin screwing over Bidens agenda was expected because he knows hes irreplaceable in WV. With Arizona trending blue though Sinema is incredibly annoying. Kelly literally just won there and isnt being a dork about this.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

HashtagSEP posted...

Manchin and Sinema both wanted $300 so they probably bitched at the last second

Was it these two again?

Fuck you Maine holy shit.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

xp1337 posted...

why are they so bad at this

(Even if it's because of reconciliation rules that just moves the "bad" to not eliminating the filibuster forcing them to comply with this dumb process)

I legitimately dont care about the stimulus checks because UI is like ten times more important. This is asinine and I have no clue who theyre ever compromising with here. I hadnt even seen Manchin calling for this.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."

xp1337 posted...

Data on the political leanings of nonvoters is a bit harder to come by, but what I have picked up on generally points to one sobering conclusion: They'd basically distribute themselves the same as voters i.e. there'd be no real change politically if you added them in.

There was a survey that tried to puzzle this out during the primary that came to the conclusion that if you added all non-voters into the pool for 2020, they'd add about equally to the vote shares of Dems and Republicans.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/02/truth-about-nonvoters/607051/

It seems the trap is that demographically it appears like they might favor the left relative to the pool of regular voters in that they're a bit more diverse than the usual voter demographics (10% of regular voters are black, 13% of nonvoters are; 11% of voters are Hispanic, 15% of nonvoters are) but they're still largely (about two-thirds) white. And if you stop there it's reasonable to go "Okay, so statistically they should lean left to the regular voters... if only a bit."

But when they dug into their actual political views they found that wasn't the case.

The Atlantic...

Basically, at the very best you can say they are to the left of regular voters on some economic issues, but on the culture war stuff (immigration, abortion, etc.) they are markedly to the right. If you combine this with some post-mortems on the 2020 election showing indication that the reason Biden suffered some losses with minorities like in Florida/Texas was because conservatives in those demographics started to vote more like white conservatives and Clinton-Trump voters responded they were "law and order" type voters you get a pretty shaky picture I think if you try to just handwave the culture war stuff as "not as important" in this discussion.

Wow great effort post. Not at all what I was assuming so this is legit interesting.

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Moops?
"I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."