Lurker > Guns_of_Verdun

B. You can't beat fire with your fists Bruno. You need a strategy. Use your head!

Moltres is coming around for another pass and starts swooping down for a firey wing attack.

You: "Magikarp! Magikarp Magikarp!" (Bruno! It's made of fire! You have to be smart, you can't beat it in a fair fight!)

Bruno: "Fight dirty eh? I can do that!"

He grabs a handful of ash and throws it directly into the Moltres' eyes when it approaches. This causes the Moltres to crash land awkwardly into the dirt. The stunned crowd slowly start to boo again.

You: "Magikarp Magikarp Magikarp." (Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad.)

Before it can recover, Bruno quickly starts piling more dirt and ash on top of it until you cannot see a shred of the bird underneath, just a weird misshapen wad of dirt and ash.

Bruno then starts rolling the wad across the ground like he was building a snowman until he has created a large Moltres infested dirtball. He then starts bouncing it about like a basketball.

Bruno: "It's time to finish this!"

Bruno throws the ball across the arena then leaps into the air and does a handspring flip. He spins multiple times in mid-air for momentum and uses his good leg to ferociously kick with the force of 10 tigers... about a foot to the left of the dirtball before collasping into a heap.

Bruno's attack missed.

You: "Magikarp Magikarp Magikarp!" (Oh come on Bruno! It was a stationary target!)

Before Bruno even gets back to his feet, the dirtball explods as flames burst in all directions. Sending ash everywhere. The Moltres used its tremedous power to simply bust out.

Blaine: "You fool! Moltres was only using 15% of it's true power! Now witness what happens when the Blaine Pain Train goes at full speed! Moltres! Finish it!"

Moltres starts to build flames across its body and tries to soar back into the air until Bruno grabs hold of its talons.

Good idea: Preventing the devastating fire attack by grabbing it.
Bad idea: Preventing the devastating fire attack by grabbing it.

The Moltres is temporarily held in place but Bruno's calloused hands are burning like just stuck them into a roaring fire. He is grimmacing in pain and seems to have no idea what to actually do.

What do you do?

A. Use Seismic Toss!
B. Use Bite!
C. Use Hi jump kick !
D. Use Submission!
E. Let go of it you fool! It's on fucking fire!

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNKGsUdn9XQ

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

DogOfPeace posted...

just like they made Thor fat, alcoholic, depressed and prone to weeping so Valkyrie can shine?

That honestly would have been fine if they proceeded to do anything with Valkyrie

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

B. Be enraging. Bruno needs to get angry to stand a chance. Not full of self-pity.

The Rhydon swings upside-down Bruno around and starts slapping him about to the delight or the crowd.

Rhydon: "Rhydon Rhydon Rhydon! " (I'm the greatest son of a Growlithe that ever lived!)

You: "Magikarp! Magikarp Magikarp!" (Bruno! You have to fight back! Stop letting them push you around! Harness all your rage and use it!)

It isn't working. Rhydon is flicking Bruno's face to amuse the crowd. Bruno and you have made direct eye contact. It almost feels like he can understand you.

You think for a moment. How did your brothers used to make you angry? Oh yeah they were all bigger than you and pushed you around. Not helpful. You can't think what to say.

You: "Magikarp MagikarpMagikarp!" (Bruno you've got to get mad! You must be angry!)

Bruno: "Why would I be hungry when I'm getting killed!? Why would you even say that at a time like this!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? Aaaaarrrghhh!"

With a screaming roar Bruno kicks Rhydon in the side of the head with his good leg. Before Rhydon hits the ground, Bruno frees his other leg, spins and punches Rhydon In the jaw.

They both start thrashing about in an uncoordinated meele that resembles two sentient busses repeatedly crashing into each other.

An irresistible force meets an immovable object as the two lock arms and start start grappling. Trying to overpower the other.

They're both grunting and It looks like an evenly matched dead heat until Bruno's horn stabbed leg gives way and he drops to one knee while grimacing.

Rhydon now has leverage and pushes Bruno onto his back.

Blaine: "Yes Rhydon! Finish him off!"

The crowd starts calling for it "Horn Drill! Horn Drill! Horn Drill!"

Rhydon starts bringing his head down for horn drill directly in Bruno's face when at the last moment Bruno grabs the base of the horn with both hands.

He then starts twisting and the Rhydon screams in a high pitch you did not think it was possible of reaching. Bruno twists even harder and pulls back. Ripping the horn right off the Rhydon's face with a terrible fleshy tear.

You can tell that Yenke and Biran aren't in the crowd because no one is laughing now.

The Rhydon backs away, grabbing its face where its horn used to be but Bruno is already back on his feet, well foot. He's hopping on one leg and starts smacking and stabbing the Rhydon around with its own horn.

You: "Magikarp Magikarp?" (Okay maybe that's a little too angry?)

Bruno hoists the Rhydon above his head and hurls it at Blaine. With a thunderous impact they crash into each other. Blaine is left flat on the floor, legs sprawled with the Rhydon next to him and his cane in pieces.

Blaine: "Will you people stop ruining my things!? EEEEEEK!"

Blaine screams like a little girl as Rhydon's sharp horn lands between his legs with a loud thud, sticking out of the ground an inch away from his pokeballs.

Rhydon fainted.

Bruno waves his arms at the silenced crowd.

Bruno: "Are you not enter-" then stumbles over his wounded leg, falling onto his face again. "Aggh, I'm bad at this..."

Blaine: "You.... You're despicable! You think you can come to my Island! While the whole town is out! And humiliate me in front of everyone I know?"
Bruno: "Yeah pretty much, I mean that is the gist of it."

Blaine: "Grrrr.. You think you've won don't you!? You truly have no idea. I still have one Pokemon left and i-"

Bruno: "Ohhhh what is it? A Rapidash? An Oddish? Oh! Maybe an Accelgor? Pfft, look what I just did to your Rhydon. On one leg too! Whatever you got is going to be a Gastly in 5 minutes."

The crowd all start stamping their feet In anticipation. The whole gym starts to vibrate making you slosh around helplessly in your bucket. They all know something you don't.

Blaine: "Well Bruno. You may have been an elite. But me? I've always been a LEGEND!"

He throws his last pokeball and in a crimson blaze of fire that hurts your eyes just to look at, a Moltres appears in all its glory with a proud squawk.

Before you could say it's name, it's zipping around the air. It does loops, spins, corkscrews and spreads jets of flame into marvelous patterns as it soars above the arena. It's 4 times as fast as the Ponyta ever was.

The entire crowd all stomp, clap and chant In unison. "Molt-res! Molt-tres! Molt-res! Molt-tres!"

Bruno: "Huh... that's a big bird..."

Moltres: "Moltres." (Omae wa m shinde iru)

Bruno: "Nani?"

It swoops down, faster than the wind and generates a gargantuan tsunami of fire that engulfs everything around it, including Bruno. For a few moments the whole arena is red as fire washes over it.

The entire crowd gasp in shock and awe. Nothing is left of the arena grounds after the attack has finished except mounds of ash and dirt. You find it fortuitous that you were already in water.

It's super effective! Everything this bird does is super effective!

Blaine: "And that's the last anyone ever saw of that guy. And there was much rejoicing."

Some of the ground starts to shift until you can't believe your eyes when you realize it's Bruno, covered head to toe in ash and dirt as he crawls back to his feet.

Bruno: *Huff puff* "Meh, your daughter hits harder than that."

Somehow, someway, Bruno is still in there. He's acting tough but he's badly burned and breathing heavy. You are overwhelmingly relieved that his pants were fire resistant.

Blaine: "Impossible!!! No one has ever withstood an attack from Moltres before!"

Bruno: "I am not no one. I am an ELITE!"
Blaine: "That doesn't even make sense!"
Bruno: "I've lost a lot of blood."

Blaine: "Oh to heck with this charade! Moltres! Stop showing off and just end this! Now!"

Moltres is preparing for another attack.

What do you do?

A. Go Bruno! Attack it now!
B. You can't beat fire with your fists Bruno. You need a strategy. Use your head!
C. Withdraw Bruno. Up and at 'em Trainer!(injured)
D. Withdraw Bruno. Legendary flame is no match for my Splash
F. M-m-m-moltres!? Run! Flee! Surrender! Evacuate! Get outta here!

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

I haven't played deathloop but for other games I wish code randomization was an option rather than always there or never there.

Sometimes it's fun to have to do it all over again.
Sometimes it just wastes time on repeat playthroughs.

Take RE2make for example. Part of what makes it so fun is how short the replays are once you know what you're doing.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i__ztikjTok

Doesn't even react to the window smashing

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

C. A hardheaded brute? This is a job for Bruno!

You're not licked yet! You still have your strongest..... Well... you still have Bruno anyway.

You throw your pokeball and Bruno appears in the arena. For the first time you've ever seen him not drunk or hungover. He is flabbergasted by the sight of the crowd and after a few moments of dumbfounded gawping, he starts adopting ridiclous poses and doing handstands and cartwheels. Which might be impressive if he could do any of them consistently. But his lack of practice and belly make that impossible. The Rhydon is getting increasing annoyed that its audience is being stolen.

Bruno: "Whaaarrrgh! ahahahaha! AGggh! Bwahha! Yes! It is I! Believe your eyes! What you're seeing is no trick! It really is me!"

Blaine: "Wait... No... It can't be! Bruno!?"

Bruno looks up and notices Blaine for the first time, then immedately facepalms and curses under his breath.

Bruno: "Uggggggh no... damn it... not now... not here... Not the In-laws."

Blaine: "NO! No! NO NONO! I am NOT your father-in-law! Not anymore! Dumping your worthless drunk hide was about the only smart thing my daughter actually did in her entire life."

Bruno tries to act unscathed but is clearly twitching in hurt and anger.

Bruno: "Big talk coming from some elderly loser gym leader on a backwater island. At least I made it to the Elite Four! At least I did something with my life! Tell me how much of the world did you ever travel!? Huh!? When is your protg gonna take over your gym so you can advance to the next level? I gave mine to my nephew when I was young because I joined the Elite Four. You can't even let go of your neverwas glorydays! All you could ever do was impress some hicks!"

The crowd go from mild confusion to loud booing. They did not like that. Blaine senses an oppotunity and turns to the crowd.

Blaine: "Hey everyone! This is Bruno! You probably don't rememer him. He's a former 'Elite Four' member who lost in a cleansweep to an 11 year old! Then was kicked out in disgrace and became the world's least funny drunken fool! Now he's serving an ugly Magikarp! I think that's a fitting position for him."

The entire crowd point and laugh at Bruno.

Blaine: "Hey! Cinnabar Island? What do you all think of Bruno? Let's hear it!"

A loud mixture of boos and "Bruno Sucks!" chant breakout among Blaine's many fans. Bruno takes the bait and turns his back on Blaine.

Bruno: "Oh yeah! Well shadup! You're all pe-"

Blam!

The Rhydon clocks Bruno in the back of the head with a haymaker while he was distracted. Bruno crashes face first into the floor. The Rhydon bends down and drills Bruno through the back of his left leg with its horn, making Bruno scream out in pain as the horn rips into him.

The Rhydon stands back up, dangling upsidedown Bruno from its horn in front of the mocking crowd and parading him about like a cat toy. Bruno squeals as the Rhydon struts back and forth in front of the crowd showing off as they cheer.

This is not going well.

What do you do:

A. Be supportive. Come on Bruno. I got faith in you.
B. Be enraging. Bruno needs to get angry to stand a chance. Not full of self-pity.
C. Try to turn the crowd against Blaine.
D. Nah he's useless. Get in there Trainer!(injured)
E. Nah he's usless. I got this with my Splash.
F. That Rhydon is unstoppable. I give up.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

A. Accept.

That's it! Use your new found....coat... And take out that Magmar!

The Magmar has gotten back to its feet and wiped the worst of the toxic mist out of its eyes. Dr Cool-Joy looks at it over her sunglasses and is staring it down.

Dr Cool-Joy: "I'm going to give you one more chance. Don't feel like you have to fight. You always have a choice."

Magmar: "Magmar Magmar Magmar MAGMAR!"(In a few moments all you'll be feeling is OBLIVION!)

The Magmar steps back and unleashes a hellish Hyper Beam that blasts across the arena. But telegraphs it so blatantly that Dr Cool-Joy easily dodges it.

Dr Cool-Joy: "You don't have to do this. I'm begging you. You're going to regret it if you keep attacking."

Magmar: "MAGMAR MAGMAR!" (I REGRET NOTHING!)

The Magmar starts wildly firing Hyperbeams over and over and over in rage and anger, they're extremely poweful but so slow and predictable that it is easy for Dr Cool-Joy to side-step them.

Blaine: "MAGMAR YOU UTTER FOOL!"

Only then does it realize what it has done. It has fired a dozen or so hyperbeams directly in Blaine's direction. It would be impossible for an old man like Blaine to dodge them all or for them all to miss.

Magmar: "Magmar! Magmar Magmar Magmar!" (OH no! He'll kill me if I hurt him!)

The Magmar rushes forward with desperate scuttling speed and dives in front of it's own beams to protect Blaine. Effectively blasting itself multiple times. Then collaspes in a heap.

Magmar has fainted.

The crowd jeers and boos.

Blaine: "Grrraugh....You're not the only one with tricks up their sleeve. Heheheheheh... I didn't want to do this but you deserve it! Graveler! I choose you!"

A Graveler emerges on the field. It seems slow and cumbersome compared to Ponyta and Magmar.

Blaine: "You see I don't just solely deal in fire ... I deal in FIREPOWER! Graveler! Use Self-Destruct! And make it hurt!"

Graveler charges forwards manically waving it arms and making aweird roaring "BWAAAARHGLLLLLLL" sound as it starts to glow bright red. Then it abbruptly explodes with enormous power. The explosion is so large it tipped your bucket over and you had to awkwardly shift it back up.

Graveler fainted.

A huge smoke cloud covers the arena. The crowd gives a standing ovation, they are loving the show.

Blaine: "Ladies and gentlemen! Allow me to present to you what little remains of-ARCEUS' BALLS!"

The smoke dissipates you see Dr Cool-Joy standing there, utterly unharmed. One hand on her hip, the other making a peace sign. The Tentacool is copying her on her shoulder but doesn't have any fingers. The clapping suddenly stops.

Blaine: "Bu...How did you....That was one of my most powerful attacks!? How could you withstand it!?"

Dr Cool-Joy: "Hmmph! Well you see! You maybe be more experienced than anyone here. You may be richer than anyone here. You may have trained your pokemon well and I may have just stolen your coat for no reason. But you see, you'll never win in the end Blaine, because there's something you don't understand. All your pokemon are vicious, proud and mean! It's not about sheer power or size. It's about the love and bond you have with your pokemon! The respect between man and nature. The true eternal longing for understanding and succeeding despite our differences.All of our strengths and all of our weaknesses. If that hope and determiation is strong enough then there is nothing you cannot overcome, nothing is too tough or too large or t-"

Suddenly she is rundown by a stampeding Rhydon from out of no where. The attack sends her crashing to the ground with a splat and knocks the Tentacool back 15 feet. The Rhydon then stomps over and over again ontop of her while beating its chest. Pressing her further into the ground with each crushing blow.

Blaine: "It was in my left pocket. I remember now. Sorry you were saying something??"

Dr Cool-Joy: "Flgflffffphmphhh.....phlfhh...uugghhhh..." She garbles, spitting pebbles and dirt out of her mouth.

Blaine: "Right of course. Well said."

The Rhydon finishes her off with a giant jump. Landing directly on top of her with all its immese weight and power.

Dr Cool-Joy Fainted.

The Tentlecool crawls up to her and hugs the body. Then to your surprise they withdraw into the same pokeball together.

The crowd screams "Go BLAINE PAIN TRAIN! *Clap clap clap-clap-clap* Go BLAINE PAIN TRAIN!" while the Rhydon roars and mimicks ramming things with its horn.

What do you do:

A: Splash! He's not so tough.
B. You got this Trainer! I have faith in you. (Injured)
C. A hardheaded brute? This is a job for Bruno!
D. You're no match for that thing. Just concede now and maintain some dignity.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

F. This isn't going well. Tag in Officer Jenny.

You: "Magikarp ! Magikarp Magikarp! (Officer Jenny! Get in there!)

Officer Jenny stares at you blank faced.

Officer Jenny: "I know, I know. You're supposed to be out there, it must be frustrating but this feisty girl doesn't seem to understand."

Oh nuts to this. You withdraw both Trainer and Officer Jenny. Then throw your pokeball and Officer Jenny re-emerges inside the arena.

Blaine: "Ohhogo! So now little miss forefit wants some! Well you just stepped onto the rails of the Blaine Train! Magmar! Make it quick but not painless!" He waves his cane as he yells .

A bewildered Officer Jenny trembles a little as Magmar approaches her.

Officer Jenny: "H-hey now. There's no need for violence. Can't we settle this over a nice game of scrabble instead?"

The crowd jeer and boo at her cowardice. They're into it now and are out for blood.

Magmar: "Magmar.... Magmar!" (You sound just like my mother.... I HATED my mother!)

Magmar raises his hand for a Katate Chop and brings it down, only to miss at the final moment due to Tentacool frantically crawling into the arena and pushing Officer Jenny out of the way.

Tentacool: "Tentacool Tentacool Tentacool!" (You leave her alone you big red monster!")

A chorus of boos echos throughout the arena.

Magmar: "Magmar Magmar?" (Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop me)

Tentacool: "Tentacool!" (I am!)

Magmar: "Magmar!"(Gwahahaga! I eat seafood like you for breakfast!)

Tentacool: "Tentacool!" (Eat This!)

The Tentacool spurts out toxic black mist. No where close to as much as the Tentacruel expelled but enough to completely blind the Magmar when fired at close range directly In the face. And unlike with Bruno it is super effective.

The Magmar staggers around awkwardly and then is accidentally whacked across the face by Officer Jenny's swinging hooped hair when she stands back up.

Officer Jenny: "Y-you saved me. And here i thought I was looking after you."

The Tentacool's cheeks glow red and it looks at the floor sheepishly.

Blaine: "Oh you want a 2 on 2 team battle eh? That's fine with me! Rhydon! Crush them both!"

The crowd roars in anticipation.

He throws a pokeball and a Magcargo appears on the field, haplessly squelching across the ground slowly.

Blaine: "Oh God damn it, I keep meaning to label those things. Well, adopt, adapt, improve... Magcargo! Get them!"

The Magcargo looks at you and yawns loudly. Suddenly you feel a little sleepy.

Blaine: "NO! Not the damn fish! Get that silly girl and her little squid too!"

Meanwhile The blinded Magmar starts to become enraged that it can't see and explodes a powerful inferno of fire all across the gym, leaving scorch marks on your bucket, making the first 3 rows of audience evacuate and setting Blaine's Doctors coat alight. But missing everyone actually inside the arena.

Baine jumps back which causes his sunglasses to fall off and plummet into the arena. Then he takes off his flaming coat and bashes it with his cane. This puts out the fire out but he inadvertently knocks it into the arena as well.

Officer Jenny: "Oh Baine, such a litterbug."

Officer Jenny geys down on all floors to pick up the coat causing the wildly raging blinded Magmar to trip over her and land directly ontop the Magcargo. Crushing it under his enormous red hot backside.

Magcargo has fainted.

Officer Jenny picks up Blaine's doctors coat and puts it on. The Tentacool picks up Blaines sunglasses and places them over Officer Jenny's eyes, then perches itself onto her shoulder.

They high-five, hand on Tentacle.

The crowd boos intently.

What? Officer Jenny is evolving! Officer Jenny is becoming Dr Cool-Joy.

What do you do?

A. Accept.
B. Oh no you don't.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

JE19426 posted...

F. The nurse

Oh my...

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JE19426 posted...

C Bruno beat the Tentafamily

Technically he lost

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

B. Step up and use Trainer!

This looks like a tough obstacle, and what better to challenge the most dangerous pokemon that you've ever seen inside a high pressure environment in front of a hostile crowd than a highly emotional teenage girl?

You roll forward onto the arena at the same time the teen challenger slinks off in tears. Then you throw your pokeball, making Trainer appear in front of you.

Blaine: "Wait is that a Bucket?... Is that a Magikarp?....Is someone challenging the Great Gym Leader Blaine with a damn Magikarp? IS THAT A GIRL!? DID SHE JUST COME OUT OF A POKEBALL!? What is this? Ugh I should have taken my medication this morning."

Trainer: "Bwyaaah... Where am I now? What's happening!? Why was I drowning!? Who are all you people? Where are my family!?"

Officer Jenny: "Ohhhh ! You must be that Magikarp's trainer! How did you manage to get stuck inside its ball? Wait... I did the same thing at the Pokecenter, the balls must be defective. That explains everything. No wonder the poor tiny thing seemed so hopeless, lost and useless."

You: "Magikarp Magikarp Magikarp!"(Whose side are you on anyway?)

Blaine: *sigh* "Let's get this over with little lady, step out of the arena and I'll happily turn that ugly Magikarp of yours into bad sushi."

Trainer: "The Magikarp!?... Oh THAT Magikarp. Oh I am going to make him p-....P-p-p-pony!"

Trainer's eyes seem to turn into love hearts as she notices the Ponyta for the first time and leers at it.

Trainer: "Oh it's adorable! It's perfect! I want one!"

Blaine: "But what about your Magikarp?"

Tentacool: "Tentacool Tentacool!" (Yeah kick its butt!)

Trainer : "Hey if I wanna ride the pony, I am going to ride the pony! Where in the rules does it say a human can't compete in a pokemon battle anyway!?"

Officer Jenny: "Rule #1 I believe."

Trainer: "Whose side are you on anyway!?"

Before anyone could react, Trainer leaps onto Ponyta's back, spontaneously expertly avoiding the flames as if she's been doing this for years. The crowd is stunned, they're not sure if this is real or a show.

Trainer: "Giddyup! Wheeee! I'm a princesses! Wheeeeeee! You're my noble steed! WHEEEEE!"

Ponyta is distraught and confused. He doesn't know what what do, he runs in circles, jumps, rears, neighs, spreads fire in all directions and tries to aggressively shake Trainer off but the more he exerts himself the more fun Trainer seem to have as she cheers louder and louder.

Eventually Ponyta tumbles under his own hooves and falls over, hurting himself in his confusion. Trainer lands on her feet like a cat and starts stroking his back.

Trainer "I'm gonna hug him and pet him and kiss him and feed him and groom him and ride him all day and call him Cupcakes and he'll be my bestest friend forever and ever and ever and ever. From this moment on we're going to be totally inseparable!"

Ponyta's expression sours, you see a look of fear and terror on his face that you've not seen since that time you walked in on your brother with a Dhelmise.

Without hesitation the Ponyta screeches in horror and jumps out of the arena before galloping through the crowd , away from Trainer and out of the gym faster than you ever thought could be possible. Not even looking back once. You've seen Abras teleport more slowly than that .

Ponyta has fled.

The crowd doesn't know how to react.

Blaine: "Daaoh! what have you done!? You scared him off! It's going to take forever before I get him back now!"

Trainer "Hey! It's your fault you grumpy old geezer! You clearly spooked him. Obviously Cupcakes loves me."

Officer Jenny: "You know, I think if Blaine doesn't produce another pokemon then that's a forfeit."

Blaine: "Whose side are you on anyway!?"

Trainer: "Well I'm sure anyone with a pokemon as cute and lovable as Cupcakes must really value beauty and elegance in all of their pokemon."

Blaine throws a pokeball and a fat Magmar emerges in a flash with a glazed expression on its face and its tongue lulling out.

Trainer "KILL IT WITH FIRE!"
Officer Jenny: "I don't think you can."

Blaine: "Magmar! Teach this bothersome brat a lesson!"

Jets of fire burst out of Magmar with a vicious tenacity. Trainer barely crouches beneath the flames at the last moment. It singes the top of her head and burns her hair. Trainer squeaks in irritation, marches up to the Magmar and starts poking it in the chest as her eyes twitch in anger.

Trainer : "Listen you Mighty Ducks reject! Do you have any idea how long it takes to get-"

Magmar lurches forward and pecks Trainer directly across the face with its beak while she was talking. Making Trainer grab her face and squeal

Trainer: "Owwww! You big stupid je-"

Magmar just pecks her again even harder, in the eye this time, making her flinch.

Trainer: "YEEEOWWWW!"

Blaine: "Now Magmar! Finish her off!"

The puzzled crowd is starting to pick up again and cheer for Blaine.

What do you do?

A. Trainer use Leer!
B. Trainer use Quick Attack!
C. Trainer use Ride!
D. This isn't going well. Withdraw Trainer, use splash!
E. This isn't going well. Withdraw Trainer, go Bruno!
F. This isn't going well. Tag in Officer Jenny.
G. Give up. You're outmatched fish.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

AgentCoulson posted...

Imagine being the guy at the Ministry that has to decide the age of consent for ghosts. Does it go by the day they were born or from the day they die? We saw Nick celebrate his death day in one of the books iirc.

Sounds like a job those anime fans would love

"She looks 13 but she's actually 1000"

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

Making fun of a guy for needing knee surgery seems wrong

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

E. Go to the gym and try to win a Cinnabar Island gym badge for a free ticket.

Why pay money when you can get in for free? How hard can a gym be anyway? It's certainly not hard to find, the gym building is gigantic and clearly labeled. You push the bucket towards it despite the feeble protests of the Tentacool bapping you all the way.

Tentacool: "Tentacool! Tentacool! Tentacool!!!!" (Stop it! She said! TO STAY PUT!)

Inside the Gym you realize why it's so big. It's set up as a battle arena surrounded by hundreds of seats full of cheering fans. It's completely full! So full and so noisy that no one even notices you. And better still, there's an unmanned miniature pokemon healing point in the corner so all the challengers can face the leader at full strength.

You roll up to it and toss both Trainer and Bruno's balls on the Tray. It activates and lights up but takes a long long time to heal. Then perhaps unsurprisingly you see Officer Jenny near the machine, staring at you crossly with her hands on her hips.

Officer Jenny: "There you two are! I was looking over for you! Well I can see you have keen instincts but you two can't use a machine like that without a pokeball and you don't have one so you should have listened to me and waited like I told you to!"

The Tentacool leaps out of the bucket and into her arms. It seems to be getting attatched.

Tentacool: "Tentacool Tentacool Tentacool Tentacool!" (IT wasn't my fault! It was all that fish! I tried to stop it! I wanted to stay put! I did what you said! But he wouldn't listen! Be angry at the fish! Not me!)

Officer Jenny: "Aww it's okay little guy. I know you're hurting and I'm trying to help but running away is just going to make it worse."

Tentacool: "Tentacool Tentacool Tentacool Tentacool Tentacool Tentacool!" (I wasn't running away! I wasn't I wasn't I wasn't!) it says while waving its tentacles.

Without warning the lights in the gym dim except around the battle arena. A loud voice comes over the PA system, dwarfing any other sounds.

Announcer: "Get ready for the next battle! The great gym leader will be taking on another challenger! So without further ado! Ladies and gentleme! You know him! You love him! It's BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINE!"

An old man wearing a doctors coat, sunglasses and wielding a cane steps out on a stage and raises his hands. Pyrotechnic pillars of fire explode behind him as the crowd roars and cheers for their local hero. You wonder if this is to do with the Zeppelin event or if it is always like this.

Blaine steps into the Arena across from a teenage boy who looks very nervous.

Blaine: "Welcome once again folks to the Cinnabar Island gym! I as you know am the great Gym Leader Baine! We've had challengers all day wanting one of my precious badges to fly on that fancy Zeppelin. But every single one has failed! What makes this youngster any different to all the rest!?"

You realize once you hear his voice that Blaine was the annoucer. For himself... Seems a bit much to you but the crowd is on their feet. Blaine causally throws a pokeball and a Ponyta emerges. It starts gracefully trotting about, showboating for the crowd who cheer and applaud.

Teen Challenger: "Ha! I'm not afraid of you old man! You just have fire Pokemon. I came prepared! Poliwhirl! I choose you! Use Ice-Beam!"

Poliwhirl emerges in a flash of energy and is immediately trounced by Ponyta who furiously stomps on it with his front legs. Ruthlessly running a stampede on the Poliwhirl's head.
Poliwhirl fainted.

Blaine: "You were saying?"

Teen Challenger: "Oh wow.... Hey!.... I'm not done yet! Go Squirtle! Use Water Gun!"

A Squirtle emerges and fires water at Ponyta who simply gracefully leaps over the blast and starts galloping towards the Squirtle. The Squirtle retreats into its shell in fear and Pontya starts batting it about the ground like a hockey puck. Then spins it's tail and with a mighty smack sends Squirtle flying across the arena, into the wall with a crash and then collasping in a heap next to the challenger.

Squirtle fainted.

The crowd roars "Go BLAINE PAIN TRAIN! *Clap clap clap-clap-clap* Go BLAINE PAIN TRAIN!" over and over in chorus. The challenger is stunned.

Teen Challenger. "...... Well...Go.... Tauros?"

One swift mule kick sends Tauros topping over the moment it appears.

Tauros Fainted.

Blaine: "You really should just quit son. This is getting embarrasing."

Teen Challeger: "No way! I'm not giving up! Arrokuda show them what you can bring to the table!"

Arrokuda is instantly greeted by a Fire Blast that leaves it smoked on the very ground it emerged onto.
Arrokuda fainted.

Blaine: "It looks like it brought dinner..."

Teen Challenger: "S-s-shut up! I've had enough of you! Mudkip! Use rock throw!"

Mudkip leaps out of it's pokeball and hurls a rock directly at the Ponyta, who catches it in his mouth and spits it back out directly in front of the Mudkip. Then the Ponyta picks the Mudkip up in his mouth and shows it off to the crowd, trotting back and forth before chomping down.

Mudkip Fainted.

Teen Challenger: "You think you're so great w-"
Blaine: "Yes I do."
Teen Challenger: "Well I haven't used my best pokemon yet! Go Dewgong! Finish it off with Aurora Beam!"

A Dewgong emerges from a pokeball and quickly fires an Aurora Beam at the Ponyta. It hits directly point blank with a critical hit. The Ponyta stumbles back mometarily, but doesn't fall down. Then resumes charging towards the Dewdong.

Teen Challenger: "What!? No way! It barely hurt it!"

Ponyta wraps its tail around Dewgong's flippers and starts galloping around the arena in circles. Dragging Dewgong across the floor while burning it at the same time. The Dewgong squeals in pain as it helplessly flails about and gradually is scraped and burnt unconcious.

Dewgong fainted.
Teen Challenger is out of Pokemon.

The Ponyta starts rearing and neighing for the appluading crowd. Soaking up the adulation.

Teen Challenger: "Noooooo!"

Blaine: "And once again another clean sweep for the great Gym Leader Blaine! Which is me of course! Only had to use my very first pokemon yet again. You youngsters really outta be ashamed of yourself. You're all so useless and weak."

Teenage Challenger: "Hey old man! You don't have to be so mean! I tried my best. I'm better than anyone at my school!"

Blaine: "Oh so you wanted to play with the big boys eh? Well look at the adjective, play! We ain't here to play! You want a participation trophy? Try the daycare center. Here you have to step up and earn your victories!"

Another series of impressive pyro explosions goes off behind him.

Crowd: "Go BLAINE PAIN TRAIN! *Clap clap clap-clap-clap* Go BLAINE PAIN TRAIN!"

Officer Jenny: "This is horrible! How can anyone enjoy this!?"

Somepoint during the fight, Bruno and Trainer have fully healed.

What do you do?

A. Step up and splash.
B. Step up and use Trainer!
C. Step up and use Bruno!
D. Order Officer Jennny to step up.
E. This is way out of hand. Let's get out of here.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

https://youtu.be/GTj53SkJaes

Why didn't he go kill Raditz and Nappa?


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Jeff AKA Snoopy posted...

Whatever works for their relationship. Two grown ass adults can have whatever relationship they are comfortable with.

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Cobra1010 posted...

Also no draw bridge at the front door. And no metal gate. The Fort itself is badly designed.

I guess it needed it to be for the plot. I haven't watched enough proper history documentaries on battles but I'd assume the proper forts are hard as hell to attack without seige engines, thus boring to watch in a movie.

Yeah in real life forts are impregnable

Seiges would last for months as the aggressors hoped to starve out the defenders

That doesn't translate well to film

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A. Let her nurse it to health.

She picks up the Tentacool and gently rocks it.

Officer Jenny: "It's okay little one. You're safe now. Those kids can't be far from town. I'll find you a Pokecenter and make you all better."

She starts to walk in the direction that the kids ran off in.

You: "Magikarp Magikarp!" (Hey wait up!)

You try to flop after her but you're hurt and traveling on land is hard. You struggle to keep up. Exhausted you collapse onto the ground and wheeze heavily.

Officer Jenny: "Aww you as well? What's happening around here? And where am I? How did I get here. Questions for later. Let's get you patched up too."

She reaches down and lifts you up under her left arm, carrying the Tentacool under her right. She's stronger than she looks, you must be heavy. The Tentacool is staring daggers at you inches away

Tentacool: "Ten...tacool!" (You... This is all your fault! You ruined everything!)

The Tentacool tries to hit you with its tentacles but it's too weak. It can barely lift them. Even point blank, Bruno pretty much crippled every single one of them. After some walking Officer Jenny has her limit of its squirming and puts you both onto the ground.

Officer Jenny: "Aww you two seem restless. I know, it's because you're out of water isn't it? Give me a moment."

She pulls an expandable bucket and superglue out of her pocket. What hasn't she got in there?

She fills the bucket with water from a puddle and glues circular rocks to the base. Then she plops you and the Tentacool inside the bucket. The water is dirty (couldn't she have done this at the sea?) and you're squished right next to the Tentacool but it is nice being in water again.

Then you realize what she did. If you push the bucket then the rocks act as rough wheels and you roll a little forward. It's crude, bumpy, slow and awkward but somehow effective. Feels perfect for you.

Officer Jenny: "There we go. Isn't that better?"

Now you can keep up with her and move alongside her as she walks. The Tentacool pokes at you aggressively the entire trip but it can't really do anything in its current state.

Eventually you reach the edge of town and it is packed! The town is completely abuzz with activity. It doesn't seem that large but so many people seem to be out and about.

Kids running and playing, market stalls selling food and goods, families enjoying themselves, jugglers entertain passersby, living statues are ignored by everyone and a Mr Mime is putting on a mime performance... you think... on second thought it might just be existing.

Officer Jenny: "Right! Now you two stay here under this tree. I don't want you to get lost in that crowd. I'm going go find the Pokecenter and then come back."

Wait no! You try to squirm to the top of the bucket and withdraw her but she's already walked off. Why can't these humans follow commands!?

You decide you don't want to wait around and push the bucket into town. You'll find Officer Jenny later. She can't have gone far.

Tentacool: "Tentacool Tentacool Tentacool!" (What are you doing! Stop doing things ! Not mommy said stay put! I forbid you to do stuff! Stop it Stop it Stop it!)

It flails around and tries to halt the bucket from moving but you completely overpower it in its current state. A feeling unfamiliar to you. You're absolutely in charge.

You literally roll into town, camouflaged entirely among a crowd of moving feet, and it doesn't take long to discover why it's so busy .

Giant signs and posters all around you inform you that today is the launch of the brand new luxury Winston Cruise Zeppelins. Almost the entire town must be out for the event. You can even see the enormous Zeppelin in the distance, it could house Old Joe's entire fishing village.

You see a chubby mother with a baby stroller. Smoking with one hand while holding a phone in the other and bragging to someone on the other end that her child is going to be the first baby to ever ride the Zeppelin.

You even see a Pikachu excitedly eating cookies with a Zeppelin ticket tucked into its tail.

Then your attention is truly piqued. You see workers loading giant pallets full of crates of medicine (among other things) onto the Zeppelin. There must be enough medicine for your whole family to comfortably swim in.

Your curiosity turns into determination. Adrenaline and hope pushes the pain out of your mind as you feel a strong desire to get on board that Zeppelin any way you can.

Then you read the blurb on the sign. "Winston Luxury Zeppelin Maiden Voyage! $250 a ticket. *Cinnabar Island gym badge holders ride free."

$250! That's almost all of your family's money. But what's the alternative?

What do you do?

A. Pay $250 for a Zeppelin ticket like a good fish.
B. Steal the Pikachu's ticket while it's eating.
C. Try to infiltrate the Zeppelin with your stealthy skills. Years of experience being totally unremarkable.
D. Take the place of the baby in the stroller while the mother is distracted.
E. Go to the gym and try to win a Cinnabar Island gym badge for a free ticket.
F. Give up on riding the Zeppelin entirely, it's a terrible idea. You're a fish not a bird.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

Vicious_Dios posted...

How does Frieza know what a weasel sounds like after it's popped?

he's killed a lot of things

like alot

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

C. Hopefully this Rattata respects authority. I choose you OfficerJenny!

You're still in a lot of pain but manage to quickly grasp your pokeball and hurl it in front of you before the Rattata could reach you.

In a flash of light Officer Jenny appears between you and the charging Ratatta. It leaps right at her and furiously bites with ravenous intent..... Harmlessly nipping at her shoes.

OfficerJenny looks shocked and shrieks.

Officer Jenny: "EEEEEEEEEK! What is that!?"

The two kids giggle at the spectacle.

Girl: "Hahahaha! She's scared of rats!"
Boy: "Geez, isn't she like 40. Little old for that?"

Officer Jenny effortlessly picks up the Rattata with her left hand. It fidgets around but she's holding it so expertly that it can't break free or attack her. She walks right up to the boy, grabs his ear with her right hand and pinches.

Boy: "Hey! Oowowowow! Stop it"

Officer Jenny: "One: It's rude to talk about a lady's age. Two: I'm not scared of rats. I'm appalled by your treatment of this poor pokemon."

Boy: "What? He's fine? A little weak but in tip top shape. I take him to the pokecenter every week! Owowowowow!" Officer Jenny pinches harder.

Officer Jenny: "Pokecenters heal wounds. But look at his nails, his gunk filled horrible teeth, his filthy coat. And his temprament. All rage, no love. No wonder he can't hurt anything. You're not being a responsible trainer and caring for your pokemon."

Girl: "Hahahahaha! She sure told you!"

Officer Jenny: "Young lady, do you find something funny about the way he treats his Rattata?"

Girl: "No miss. Sorry miss."

Officer Jenny: "Imagine if you never got to trim your fingernails or brush your teeth. It would be very uncomfortable would't it?"

Girl: "Teehee, he doesn't brush his teeth."
Boy: "Shhhh! You're embarrasing me in front of the scary old lady! OWowooowww! Sorry sorry sorry!"

Officer Jenny lets go of the boy's ear, puts the Rattata down on a rock, then pulls out a pair of rat clippers from her pocket and trims its mishapen nails. Then she holds it in place and starts scrubbing it's teeth with a paste, cleaning them. It nips at her but to no effect. Then she pours a purple goopey gel on it and massages its fur. The Rattata hates this but is helpless as she gives it a glossy clean coat instead of unkempt dirty hair.

Boy: "D-do you carry Rattata clippers and grooming sets on you at all times?"

Officer Jenny: "Don't you?"

Boy: "Erm... I must have.... Left it at home..."

Officer Jenny: "Always remember it's not just about healing injuries. Your bond with your pokemon and taking care of them is much more important. Now go home. Your parents must be worried sick."

Boy: "Yes mam."
Girl: "Yes miss."

The boy withdraws the Rattata and the two of them run away. OfficerJenny neatly wraps up her grooming kit and puts it back in her pocket. I guess that means... She won? Or they fled? Well either way you're not dead and at least nothing else could possibly go wro-

Officer Jenny: "Eeeek! What's that!? Who would do such a thing!"

She starts running away from you up the shore and after a moment you realize why. She's spotted another injured pokemon.

It's the Tentacool! The one that was brutalized by Bruno! Or Brunolized by a brute. It's sprawled across the shore, only a stones throw from where you washed up and is in even worse shape than you are. It must gotten caught up in the whirlpool too. Officer Jenny rushes towards it and starts cradling it.

Tentacool: "Te?...nta..cool..." (M-mommy?... I'm scared.)

Officer Jenny : "Aww poor thing is seriously hurt. Wild Pokemon can be so cruel to each other. Don't worry little guy, I'll take of you."

What do you do:

A. Let her nurse it to health.
B. Withdraw OfficerJenny and abandon it.
C. Throw a pokeball at it.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

Lorthremar posted...

nerd fact: there were no elves at helm's deep in the book. i don't really care that Jackson added them to the movies, just an interesting change.

Positive change IMO.

Part of the plot was that there were hardly any men left.

And while the Riders returning was cool, it makes sense that they needed the Elves to hold off the orcs long enough and it lets the Elves do more in the story rather than smugly sit in the background

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I didn't think Inside was very good.

Sure both are Artsy but Limbo was a legit good game. Inside just felt like "We're not talented enough to make a popular artsy movie so let's just make a game instead" which is kinda insulting

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YumandaOrg posted...

Dude, we voted for Donald Trump in 2016. Everybody knew that once he was in the White House he was never going to say "Oh, okay, I lost, I'll see myself out".

We voted for all this crap, and we got what we voted for. Welcome to America. The GOP is not even a political party anymore, it is a federation of rich white people who have purchased Senators and Housefolk and told them "Go out there and say you are a Republican and just vote No on everything".

We got what we voted for, so whatever. I'm so tired of all these Opinion articles about the "crisis" and all this crap.

We knew what we were getting into voting for a guy who has never heard "No" in his entire life.

7 million more people voted for Biden than Trump

GOP has turned voter suppression and Gerrymandering into party platforms.

"You get what your vote for!" is a lazy retort to these problems.

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Questionmarktarius posted...

Horny teenagers always find a way.
Isn't basic levitation a 1st or 2nd year class?

I'm headcannoning here but if the stairs can detect if you're male and stop you. I'm sure there's other enchantments too.

Like if you try to levitate up a gust of wind will push you back or something.

I don't think Ginny could have just piggypacked Harry up the stairs.

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Questionmarktarius posted...

The dorms that are right across a short narrow walkway at the top of the stairs? Good luck with that.

The stairs turn into a slide if a man steps on them. I think the Staircase is pretty long too. You'd need like a ninja rope.

I can't remember if it's in the films but it is established in the books. The girls can go into the boys dorms but the boys can't go into the girls.

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I'm not up on LOTR lore but my understanding was Helms Deep was a shitty old castle, pretty much a ruin and horrible to live in.

Our heroes only fled there in desperation because they had no army and it was the most defensible fortress for 300 miles.

They didn't have the time or manpower to set up moats or keen squadrens or rebuild the keep (Remember the elves turned up super close to the battle)

Moats also need considerable maintenance and upkeep. If Helms Deep (which is no where near water) did have one, it would be useless by the time the men arrived.

There's a lot of "That doesn't make sense." reality nitpicks you can throw at a fantasy story but honestly, Helms Deep being sub-optimal is kinda fitting.

Although I half expect some LOTR buff to step in and tell me "ACTUALLY! In the lore Byrufrauff the Crimson Maytafil forbid moats being bult with his magic after the fall of Hueoridk in the second age and his magic is 17 times as strong as Saurons."

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Honestly they probably did.

Remember they're not allowed in the girls dorms. There is no sex ed or science classes of any kind and they are all hormone filled teenage boys.

People don't want to talk about it because it's uncomfortable to think about but it's super realistic for them to have "compared" and talked about masturbation and their sex experiences.

You hear stuff like this from boarding school all the time.

I knew someone who went to an (all boys) boarding school that had a masturbation club. And no it's not what you think, they didn't do it together, they just met up every week and discussed it.

There were no girls around, they were curious confused teens and it's all they had to explore what was happening to their bodies.

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TerraSeeker posted...

The media saying the media is ignoring missing women of color in favor of missing white women. Why don't they run the stories about women of color then? They would literally be the ones causing it.

Random reporters don't get to choose what the news runs as stories. They are given assignments.

People DO try to draw attention to other missing persons cases but without the megaphone of media support, no one notices.

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The next thing you know you're floating in the water next to a large island with a huge city on it. The Tentacruel and her Tentacools aren't around anymore. You feel fine, that whirlpool must have been all show. But something feels... off... You hear a weird noise you can't understand.

You look up and see... Something... Coming towards you. It's a vague haze of black dots, almost like a swarm of flies with no wings.

MissingNo: "MissingNo!" (0x4F????10kgXP)

It tries to attack you with Hyrdopump but you saw it coming due to your amazing reflexes. Expertly you evade it by gracefully flying into the air like an Aerodactyl. You decide to Splash ferociously at it. Plummeting back down into the water from 40 feet up, splashing water in all directions all over it.

Splash is super effective!
MissingNo fainted!

Yeah! You got it! No one should mess with you! Suddenly a pokeball falls out of you... Then another... Then another...And another? Over and over until 128 pokeballs have somehow all rolled onto the land. Wait what, they're all Bruno!

They all activate without your command and 128 Brunos start running around the city. Drinking, smashing, fighting, looting. Generally running amock! A chorus of screams pierce the heavens as nobody is safe. Before you can comprehend what they are doing, the Bruno's grab each other and come together in big pile. Until somehow they fuse into a giant 100 foot Mega-Bruno Gestlt entity

Mega-Bruno: "GWHAHAHAMWHAHAHAHA! You laughed at me! Well whose laughing now! YOU'RE ANTS TO ME! TAKE THAT MOM! TAKE THAT GRANDFATHER! Whose the big brother now!?" he yells as he smashes buildings and cars. Picking people up and swallowing them like peanuts. Moments later the whole city is on fire somehow.

Your grandfather and mom swim next to you. Your mom whaps you across the face with her fin.

Mom: "You're such a disappointment to me. I knew I should have sent your brothers."

Grandfather: "I thought letting me die was bad enough. Then you go and do this. You should be ashamed of yourself. I couldn't think any less of you right now."

Before you can react they're both gone. Meanwhile Mega-Bruno rips entire skyscrapers out of the ground and hurls them across the land while laughing and jumping about. Then he looks down at you, picks up a tree and starts poking you with it. In a soft femmine voice he says:

Mega-Bruno: "Hey is it dead?"

In a blur you wake up on a shore. Every part of your body hurts from the whirlpool. Oh thank god it was just a nightmare. Owwwwwww! Something just poked you in the eye.

You look up with your other eye and see two children looming over you, a boy and a girl. The boy is poking you with a stick.

Girl: "Hey is it dead?"

Boy: "I think so.... Nah wait it moved. I think it's just dumb."

Girl: "Why don't you catch it?"

Boy: "Because it's a big smelly ugly stupid fish. I don't want that. I'll get Rattata to get rid of it. It needs the practice."

Girl: "Teehee, your Rattata couldn't beat anything in all of Kanto."

Boy: "That's why it needs practice! Go Rattata! Use Quick Attack!"

He throws a pokeball and a small Rattata leaps out. Then it runs towards you. You're too hurt to flee.

A. Use Splash! It worked in your dream
B: Get 'em Trainer! (Injured)
C. Hopefully this Rattata respects authority. I choose you OfficerJenny!
D: Use Item: $287

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

A. Bruno! Use Seismic toss

The Tentacruel seems to have taken control, holding Bruno upsidedown and slapping him around. The bruised Tentacools regain their confidence and squelch back onto the island.

You: "Magikarp! Magikarp Magikarp!" (Bruno! You're stronger than her! Use Seismic Toss!)

Somehow Bruno seems to get the gist.

Bruno: "I'm gonna throw you with enough force to flip the world upside down!"

Bruno reaches up and uses his hands to grab the tentacles that are wrapped around his legs. Then he uses his large belly as a center of gravity as he pulls down on the Tentacruel's tentacles with all 4 of his limbs. Hoisting the Tentacruel out of the water, over his head and slaming it down hard, head first, dead center of the island, directly ontop the Dwebble's rockpool.

Water and rocks are sent flying in every direction as the Dwebble crawls out of the crater that was once it's home.

Puke covered Dwebble: "DwebbleDwebble!?" (Why are you doing this? What did I ever do to you!?)

Now back on his feet, Bruno holds on to the tentacles and doesn't stop there. He starts spinning around. Waving the Tentacruel about like a hammer. Eventually the bravest of the Tentacools steps up and leaps onto Bruno's face. Wrapping its tentacles around Bruno's head to blind him.

Tentacool #4: "Tentacool Tentalcool!" (Stop hurting my mommy!)

Bruno lets go and topples over in surprise, sending the Tentacruel flying 40 feet through the air and landing harmlessly back into the ocean with a mighty splash. The Tentacruel whimpers and starts to slink away. Followed by the Tentacools with the one that leaped onto Bruno trailing behind.

Bruno: "Hey you want a piece of m-.... Wait... You're... You're running away?... I ... I won? I WON! I really won!? Did I? Did I just win?... For the first time since.... Wait of course I won! I'm Bruno! I'm part of the Elite 4! I always win! MWahahahaha! Bruno is undefeatable! WOOOO!"

He starts waving his arms around and whooping while running in circles.

Bruno: "I won! I won! I won! I won! You're all dumb losers and I won! Wanna come back and try a second round!? HMMM!? No? Well then! I'll bring it to you!"

Bruno runs knee deep into the water and grabs the nearest fleeing Tentacool, the one that jumped on his head. Then starts smacking it around with its own tentacles.

Bruno: "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Bwahhaha you're so weak! You're all so feeble compared to me! Hey big fat squid thing! You suck!"

You see the Tentacruel turn around and look back.

You: "Magikarp Magikarp Magikarp!" (Bruno that's enough. We've won)

Bruno: "Hey little squid thing? You like my face so much? How about some more of it!"

Bruno then starts headbutting the Tentacool over and over again, the Tentacool squeals and thrashes around helplessly. You're reminded of when Uncle Sharpy grabbed you. The Tentacruel looks more and more angry.

You: "Magikarp Magikarp!" (Bruno stop!)

Bruno: "Wanna know the only thing that sucks worse than you!? Your little freaks here. They're the suckiest. You should be honored that someone who sucks so much got beaten by the Elite 4! But don't feel bad! I'm the best I am!"

The Tentacruel starts moving in circles in a strange way in the water and waving it's tentacles around. After a while the Tentacools start copying her.. Then you realize, they're creating a whirlpool. There's so many of them and they're so angry that it is massive.

Bruno: "Ooo! Spinning in circles. I'm so scared! Look I can spin too!" He says as he spins the Tentacool around like a rattle. This only enrages the others and the Whirlpool grows even larger.

You: "Magikarp!" (Bruno get back on the land!)

You try to withdraw him but it's too late, he's sucked into the whirlpool and is thrashing about. Being helplessly dragged this way and that way. The whirlpool is getting bigger by the second. The waves it created smash into the island and pull you back towards the Ocean, sucking both you and the Dwebble into the whirlpool as well.

You struggle with all your might but the current of the massive Whirlpool is too strong and soon enough you're being bashed about and pulled in every direction too. Bruno is totally out of his elements as the water engulfs him. The Dwebble is too weak to handle it.

Bruno has fainted.
Dwebble has fainted.

You last longer due to your tough scales and nature but the whirlpool is too big and too strong to resist. You close your eyes bracing for the worst as you start to pass out.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

Duncanwii posted...

I'm pretty sure if I tried something like that in public shed slap me.

Tell her that there is legitimate medical research that says frequent breast fondling helps prevent cancer and you're just looking out of her health.

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If he admits fault then it means he's weak (to his supporters)

They don't see lying about reality as a weakness, but a strength.

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Feebas

lol

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https://youtu.be/CMfNqmQbulI

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uwnim posted...

Sharpedo used us to assassinate that boy's father, but then we used our reward for our part of the plan to save the dude's life. And now the boy knows the problem with Magikarp so even if another karp came along, it wouldn't work again. Now the town is going to open up and develop and will no longer be run by Sharpedo's gang.
'

Yeppers.

Sorry If I didn't make that clear.

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

E. This is a job for an elite! Go Bruno!

Somehow you feel like Bruno might have experience with this. You throw his pokeball out and Bruno appears before you in all his glory!

Awkwardly staggering about before bending over and throwing up all over Dwebble's rockpool. Clearly hungover. You make a mental note. Healing cures wounds but doesn't hydrate you.

Bruno: "Ughhh God.... Where am I?...Ugghhhh not again... this is the 7th worst place I've woken up in... Wait... I forgot about Gligarman's sock drawer....8th worst."

The Tentacools just walk right past him and grab you. You can feel their dozens of tentacles all over you, it's gross. Even for a fish.

You: "Magikarp! Magikarp! MAGIKARP!" (Bruno! Bruno! OVER HERE HELP! HELP HELP!)

Just when it feels like you're completely engulfed, you see the Tentacools sent flying, one by one. Then enough tentacles retreat that you can see Bruno taking them all down. Kicks, punches, chops, sweeps, throws. Every time a Tentacool steps up, Bruno smacks it down with authority.

Bruno: "YEAH! You don't mess with me! I'm one of the Elite 4! I eat Tentafools for breakfast me!"

Magikarp: "Magikarp!? Magikarp Magikarp Magikarp?" (Wait you understand me?)

Bruno: "I don't know what you're trying to say Fish but I know the look when someone wants something hurt. I've seen it 100 times."

Suddenly the Tentacruel emerges from the water in a rage. Seething from seeing all of her kids scattered across the Island in pain.

Tentacruel: "TENTACRUEEEEEEEEEL!" (MY BABIES!)

She grabs Bruno with her long Tentacles and uses Toxic. Spurting black mist all over his face from point blank.

Bruno is unnaffected by Toxic.

He burps loudly before throwing up directly back in the Tentacruel's face. Making it stagger backwards in disgust and let go of him.

Bruno: "Still better than Fosters."

You: "Magikarp! Magikarp!" (Bruno! Use hi-Jump Kick!)

To your surprise he smirks and nods. Then he starts running up one of the Tentacruel's tentacles like it was a staircase. He leaps into the air and spin kicks her directly in the right eye.

Bruno lands awkwardly in a heap but the attack is super effective. Tentacruel recoils backwards. Bruno leaps back to this feet, pretending he meant to land of his face. Then he picks up two of the Tentacools, one in each hand and starts windmilling them around. Beating the Tentacruel across the head with her own children.

The Tentacruel squeals loudly before retreating back into the sea. The Tentacools follow suit. Bruno throws the two Tentacools he was holding at her and then adopts a series of ridiclous poses.

Bruno: "That's right you better run! No one messes with me! Bruno always wins! I'm with the Elite Foooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Without warning the Tentacruel grabs Bruno by the legs with her extremely long tentacles from a distance. Keeping her body safely underwater. She drags him acoss the floor, scraping his face across the sand, then lifts him upsidedown, 15 feet into the air.

Bruno: "HEY! That's no fair! You can't use tactics! You were losing!"

The Tentacruel starts smacking upsidedown Bruno around with her tentacles.

What do you do?

A. Bruno! Use Seismic toss
B. This isn't going well. Withdraw Bruno. Use Trainer (injured)
C. This isn't going well. Withdraw Bruno. Use OfficerJenny
D. Withdraw Bruno. Use Splash.
E. Flee while it's distracted with Bruno


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Trump told people to get vaccines tho

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A. Jump into the Ocean. It's water and every moment on this ship is taking you further away from home.

Dry land (Well boat floor) is bad. Moving even further away from home is bad. Water is good. How hard can traversing an ocean be? Just go the opposite way the boat is going until you hit land.

You leap out of the porthole, flipping in the air until you realize that you were not directly above the ocean. There's a deck right below you and you're plummeting towards it at a disturbing speed
.
Sailor#2: "Not sure if there is enough time to secure the Berries. Can you handle it or do you need a hand?"

Sailor #1: "Of course I can handle it! I used to be a Captain I'll have you know!"

Sailor #2: "Oh here we go again. Yeah sure. If you used to be a Curiseship captain, how come you're here shifting crates with the rest of us schlubs?"

Sailor #1: "It's true! I love the sea but every time I come out here, something really bad always happens to me and I lose my position. I drop my sea sickness tablets or a Charizard sets fire to the boat or Team Rocket steal my cat."

Sailor #2: "Oh please, this is a simple cargo barge. What bad thing could possibly happen h-"

Suddenly with a loud thump you land directly on top of Sailor #1. Luckily breaking your fall and causing him to smash into the deck. Also covering him in smelly vinegar and Magikcarp slime.

Sailor #2: "Huh.... Don't see that everyday. Guess you're right. Sorry man."

A little embarrased you hop a little further along and leap off the barge again, this time actually landing in the water.

The fresh water feels great after the disgusting vinegar, but you're overwhelmed by the sight. Nothing but pure blue in every direction. It's almost scary.

After swimming for a while you see your first non blue entity in this empty space. Make that entites, several Tentacools floating around, heading vaguely towards you. They are all following a gigantic Tentacruel Matriach that dwarfs all of them, this thing would give Wailord a run for it's money.

It's by far the largest Tentacruel you've ever seen.... Technically the only Tentacruel you've ever seen but still, you imagine they're usually smaller. Now you understand why Uncle Sharpy didn't want competition.

Tentacruel: "Tentacruel TentacruelTentacruelTentacruel Tentacruel Tentacruel Tentacruel?" (So here's the plan kids. We're taking everything from that Cargo Barge. Remember boys, no killing. That attracts attention, a empty ship full of survivors is considered bad luck. Just pick one Sailor and make an example of him. The leave the others alone, they'll be too scared to do anything. Any questions?)

Tentacool #1: "Tentacool, TentacoolTentacool?" (Yeah ma, whose that?) It points at you with it's tentacle.
Tentacool #2: "TentacoolTentacool Tentacool." (Yeah wait who is that? Is he with us?")
Tentacool #3: "Tentacool TentacoolTentacoolTentacool Tentacool Tentacool." (Well obviously. Who else is going to be in the middle of the ocean. Come on guys don't recongize our sibling?)
Tentacool #4: "TentacoolTentacool." (That's the ugliest Tentacool I've ever seen.)

Tentacruel: "TENTACRRRRRRRRRUUUEL!"(NONE OF MY BABIES ARE UGLY!) she screams while flailing her gigantic tentacles around, creating massive waves.

Tentacool #4: "Tentacool..." (Sorry mom...)

Tentacool #5: "TentacoolTentacoolTentacool!" (You fool! that's no Tentacool! It's clearly a Feebas.)

You: "Magikarp Magikarp!..... Magi...." (How dare you! I'm a Magikarp!.... Opps...)

You probably shouldn't have said that.

Tentacruel: "Tentacruel!" (Get him!)

Ruh-roh. Suddenly 7 or 8 Tentacools all start advancing on you. They mometarily forget that the ocean is 3 dimensional as you simply swim up. Causing them to get their tentacles caught up together as they collide.

The Tentacruel lunges for you with it's extremely long tentacles but it's too far away and can't reach. You swim as fast as you can. Looking back you can see them gaining on you.

Looking back was a mistake as you don't see where you are going. Then with a soft thump you've crashed directly onto the shore of a small desert island. Spitting sand from your mouth you are greeted by a tiny wide-eyed Dwebble with a smile on its face.

Dwebble: "DwebbleDwebbleDwebble.... Dwebble!!!!!!!" (Hey fish friend. Welcome to my home. It's nice to meet you, I'm Dwebble. Are you hungry or tired? I'm sure I co... What the! EEEEEP!)

Suddenly the Tentacools emerge from the water and start to squelch onto the land. The Dwebble scuttles away in terror faster than you thought such a little creature could move and hides inside a nearby rockpool.

The Tentacools are getting closer by the moment. You need to think fast

What do you do?

A. Splash.
B. Follow the Dwebble and try to hide.
C. Trainer knows water Pokemon! I choose you! (Injured)
D. No one knows more about how to handle a gaggle of pokemon than a nurse! Get 'em Officer Jenny
E. This is a job for an elite! Go Bruno!
F: Flee. You outsmarted them once!
G: Throw a pokeball at one of them

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https://youtu.be/Y7zBzZs4d8U

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I'm cool with (non stupid) write ins, it's cool when people think of clever stuff I didn't realise. but Trainer doesn't have any pokemon anymore. Joy and Bruno didnt have have any to begin with

Lapras is still out there somewhere. It was still on the field after you caught Trainer.

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Feline_Heart posted...

Where he comes from, dog is just another word for Saiyan

You scratch Saiyan bellys?

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A: Give Old Joe the Medicine. You can't just leave them like this.

Your conscience gets the best of you. Your grandfather wouldn't want to be saved like this, there's somethig fishy about it.

You starts splashing up and down to get Old Joe's attention while keeping your distance for Joesph's sake.

Old Joe: "OH YOUR BRAGGING HUH!? WELL I SWEAR ON MY BOY'S LIFE I'M GONNA MAKE-"

You then throw the medicine at him wih all your might. His decades of Fisherman's reflexes causes him to catch it instinstively, shame he ever tried his hands at baseball.

You lost item: Medicine

Joey: "Grandpa! I think that's medicine! I told you he was nice."

Old Joe: "Now son, I know you're upset but fish don't think like us, dey stupider than Cousin Jo. He's just throwing trash from the ocean because it's a defensive instinct to desperately attack a superior prey. But I can thow it back a lot harder!"

Old Joe winds his arm back but at the last moment little Joey snatches it out of his hand with a jump and pours it down Joesph's mouth.

Old Joe: "BOY! WHAT DO YOU THIK YOU'RE DOIN'! Respect ya elde-"

Suddenly Joesph sits up and starts coughing and spluttering. Still whoozy from the shock to his body but clearly alive and quickly recovering. You wish that was your grandfather.

Joey: "Daddddddddy! You're okay!" Joey says excitedly as he tries to hug his dad.

Old Joe: "JOEY! Stay back from him until you get cleaned up."

Joey: "Yes Grandpa." he says realizing the wisdom. "But see, he was trying to help! I told you."

Old Joe: "Smgugharavemmph mphh... I bet he thought it was poison or summit. Never trust a fish, they always betray you. And never ever ever bring a Magikarp home again! you hear me boy!"

Old Joe lifts up Joesph and starts carrying him towards the hut. But Joey doesn't hear him as he looks at you with a smile.

Joey: "Thank you Magikarp! Come visist anytime!"
Old Joe: "NO IT CAN'T!"
Joey: "Well then I'll come and visit you!"
Old Joe: "NO YOU WON'T!"
Joey: "Goodbye Magikarp! Goodbye!"
Old Joe: "BAD BYE! STAY AWAY FROM MAH FAMILY!"

Joey waves goodbye at you while Old Joe shakes his fist with one arm while carrying Joesph back into the hut with the other.

Uncle Sharpy: "Sharpedo." (Aww Looks like you made a friend.)

You jump in shock. You didn't realize he was behind you again. He's so fast and so quiet.

Uncle Sharpy: "Sharpedo.... Sharpedo Sharpedo Sharpedo....Sharpedo... Sharp...edo."... How touching... How sweet.... How kind... How... Irritating... You know Karpe I really thought we could have been friends. I really thought we could have got along. I really thought you got it. But I'm disappointed in you.)

Uncle Sharpy leans in real close. You're not sure if you should splash, flee, reach for a pokeball or try to talk you way out of this but before you could even process that thought he's on top of you and his fangs rip right through your hard scales like a hot knife through butter.

He was so fast and expertly knew just where to strike. He's obviously done this many times before, even a Wartortle would be helpless. The pain is excruciating and debilitating. You squeal and wiggle in the water but there's nothing you can do as he chomps down. The harder he bites the less you're able to move until you're rendered completely paralyzed. Only then he spits you out and you float across the water like a plank of wood.

Uncle Sharpy: "Sharpedo Sharpedo Sharpedo Sharpedo." (Don't worry Karpe, I'm not going to kill you. I want you to live for a long long time so you can spend every moment remembering that you failed your family.)

He plops underwater, leaving you floating there for a little while. Then he emerges with a barrel. It has vinegar stamped across it and is clearly designed for transport.

Uncle Sharpy: "Sharpedo Sharpedo SHARPEDO!" (Well be seeing you Karpe. It's been a BARREL of laughs!) he says with a cruel cackle.

He tosses you inside the barrel of vinegar that smells and stings on your wounds. Did he plan for this!?

The last thing you see before you pass out is the lid being sealed shut.

You Fainted.

You wake up an unknown amout of time later in complete darkness. Still floating in smelly vinegar. You swim around your limited space trying to find an exit but can't. Eventually your swimming causes the barrel to wobble and fall over.

It falls for a surprisingly long time then crashes onto the floor in an explosion of wood, vinegar and ...well you. It hurts and you're flopping on cold ground again but at least you're free.

You look aroud and see you're in some kind of dull gray storage room full of barrels and crates. You were on a shelf, that's why you fell so far. You see a circular window and hop ontop of a pile of crates to look outside and get your bearings.

Then it hits you, wait that's not a window, it's a porthole! Oh no! Nononononno! You look outside and all you see in every direction is open sea. This isn't a storage room! It's a cargo hold!

That sick shark bully put you on you a barge! How far has it traveled already!? Where are you even heading!?

What do you do:

A. Jump into the Ocean. It's water and every moment on this ship is taking you further away from home.
B. Stay on the barge. At least it must be taking you somewhere. That's better than being lost in the middle of the sea.

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"Do your own research" just means "Search high and low for any one piece of evidence that supports your worldview, then ignore everything else."

And 9/10 times that research is either horribly innacurate or has been intentionally misinterrupted.

The amount of times I've seen people deny global warming by demonstrating Data from 1 location on Earth that only goes up to 1950 is ridiclous.

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Southernfatman posted...

People laughed at downloaders.

Who did that?

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https://imgur.com/VwJsmAR

https://youtu.be/B-OhIgJAGOE

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Alucard188 posted...

They tried boycotting the game series because evolution.

But pokemon evolution is...

You know what nevermind

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massively female dominated

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nfearurspecimn posted...

Sure why not.

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