LogFAQs > #506235

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TopicITT: I watch every nationally broadcast episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000
Chronic1000
12/13/11 7:18:00 AM
#77:


Favorite Riffs:


*A whole lot of scientists and army officals are in a HQ for the rocket ship*

Radio Operator: Neptune, can you read me?

Servo: This is Neptune, God of the Sea!


*Major Joe Nolan and Marla dance and kiss, then someone rings the buzzer.*

Servo: Ah, it's like Operation. Touch her there, and she buzzes!


*An air Sergeant interupts Nolan and Marla*

Nolan: What is it, Sergeant

Crow (as Sarge): My neck if fused to my spine, sir!


*Nolan and random Air police Sergeant talk to each other. The Sarge is noticably older than the Colonel.*

Joel: He's pretty old for a sergeant...

Servo: Must've punched an officer.


*Wilson and Nolan are flying a plane*

Crow: Ever flown one of these before?

Servo: Nope.

Crow: Neither have I.


*As the plane malfunctions, we pan to a reading for the geiger counter*

Servo: This place is loaded with goldak!


*The plane crashes in a jungle*

Servo: Thank you for flying Northwest.

Crow: Hey, we landed on a witch! Maybe the rest of the film will be in color.


*The plane crash survivors are walking around a forest with rifles out*

Servo: Hey guys, this reminds me of a movie I saw where two white hunters crashed in a jungle and...

Joel: Shh...

Crow: I wish we could have a charred broiled hamburger sandwich and some french fried potatos!


*After a grueling climbing sequence*

Wilson: Feels like we've been climbing for days.

Crow: Tell us about it...


*The survivors are in a cave after the ROCK CLIMBING sequence*

Joel (as Nolan): This is just for conversation, but if you were to eat someone, where would you start?


*After a few more minutes of ROCK CLIMBING...*

Servo: Kill them! Kill them all!

Joel: Hey guys, calm down, okay? It's just a movie, and we can handle it.

Servo: Okay, I guess you're right...

*beat*

Joel: WHO ARE YOU?! WHERE ARE WE WE?! CAN WE GET A POINT OF REFERENCE OR SOMETHING?! PLEASE!


*The movie fades to black after one of the actors die*

Crow: Okay, no more rock climbing.

*The films fade back in to... more ROCK CLIMBING*

All: NO!!!!


Servo: Even rock climbing movies don't have THIS much rock climbing.


Joel: Now this is where they shot Mad Monster, and a little ways down you can see Jungle Goddess, there's Rocketship XM and...


*One of the scientists falls over as a meat eating.. brontosaurous*

Nolan (turning back to see his ally down): Climb a tree!

Servo: Climb up to mouth level, real quick.

--
In the not too distant future
Next Sunday A.D. ....
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