Favorite Riffs (Short):
Narrator: Joe used to say...
Crow (as Narrator): If you're going to bury a body in a shallow grave make sure you use quickline.
Narrator: Now there was a street intersection Joe passed every day.
Crow (as Narrator): Called Blood Alley.
*While Joe's guardian angel brings him in front of the heavenly judge*
Joel: This isn't one of those high school dreams where he walks around naked and...
Crow: I... don't THINK so...
Servo: Got a class he forgot about until now...
*The Judge looks for Joe's file*
Judge: Hmm, Joe Doakes. You were born in New Jersey, eh?
Crow (as Judge): I thought I smelled something.
Servo: Man, God sure has a crummy office, doesn't he?
*After discussing the time Joe nearly hit a kid..>*
Guardian Angel: After that, I never had a problem with Joe near schools. He'd crawl by at a snail's pace.
Servo (as Angel): Nursing homes though, whoa.
Judge: Joseph Doakes, instead of passing sentence on you, I must leave this to the jury of drives, passengers, and pedestrians...
Servo: Oh guilty, hang him up! Get the director too.
Favorite Riffs (Movie):
*After they make a tent out of the local shrubbery and whatnot*
Servo: Why didn't they use the tent in their backpack?
Joel: Because they're artist.
*Random shot of the sky as Ralph and Nora make out and are walking alone*
Joel: I'm watching over you now. Procreate.
*Ralph falls off a cliff, fights an alligator, and is taken to the tent to heal*
Nora: It's all my fault!
All: Bingo!
*While Richard is treating Ralph's wounds*
Crow: Hey, you're spending a lot of time on that one nipple there.
*Ralph kills a giant bee, while Nora comforts him.*
Nora: You got to relax.
Crow: Relax? There's a bee the size of a moose over there, and you want him to relax?!
Joel: If you're looking for plausability in this film, you won't find it here.
*Richard looks at a picture of the 'dinosaur,' while the 'dinosaur' is right in front of him.*
Richard: It resembles a T-Rex from Earth's Prehistoric age.
Servo: No it doesn't.
Crow: No way.
Richard: King of the Dinosaurs..
Servo: Sorry, that's a lizard from Petworld.
Richard: Similar ones dominated Earth 125 million years ago. It's like living in the past!
Crow: It's an iguana!
*Two 'dinosaurs' fight each other.*
Joel: You know guys, lizards WERE hurt during the making of this film.
*One of the liz-'dinosaurs' flips the other over, breaking his neck.*
Crow: Whoa, that's almost a reversal. That would be two points.
Ralph: I brought the atom bomb, I think it's a good time to use it.
Servo: Oh, that's your answer to everything.
*To the frantic music*
Joel: Your time is almost over! You'll never be in another film!
Ralph: Well, we done it. (Referring to nuking the planet)
Richard: Yeah we sure have done it. We brought civilization to Planet Nova.
Crow: Was that some irony or what?
--
In the not too distant future
Next Sunday A.D. ....