Kurt Angle claims Chicago is full of fat people.
30 minute submission match: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit
Lots of grappling and counter grappling as they fight on the mat. The announcers are hyping the heck out of ankle lock and crossface, do these guys even have any other submission moves.
Now they're still grappling outside, Angle taps to the crippler crossface but it doesn't count for being outside.
Angle with a leg lock, Benoit's tapping out already? Angle's got 1.
Benoit wants a crossface now, turns it into some roll and an armbar, Angle taps to this and it's tied.
Ref keeps breaking Benoit's moves as Angle reaches the ropes, Benoit pushes the ref down and Angle hits Benoit with a chair. Ankle lock for Angle and Benoit has to tap. Angle grabs Benoit right away, puts on the crippler crossface, and another tap out, 3-1 Angle.
Benoit is getting tossed around outside the ring. Here's another ankle lock but it's out of the ring. Here's an ab stretcher, Benoit counters into his cross armbreaker again but Angle gets the ropes before tapping. Sharpshooter Benoit! Crowd always pops for this move. Boston crab and Angle has to tap here.
Angle's trying to run outside the ring to kill time, he's finally tracked down. Benoit finally puts on something, the ankle lock. Angle gets the ropes here. Now Angle gets on a chinlock for a full minute or two.
A pair of belly to belly suplexes from Angle. Angle blocks a suplex and gets the ankle lock, Benoit's blocked it and he puts on the ankle lock, tied at 3!
30 seconds left, Angle gets on two ankle locks and Benoit reaches the ropes. Another ankle lock, Benoit's not tapping and the bell rings. Sudden death time, and Benoit is still hurt. Angle's got some crucifix hold on, Benoit rolls and gets the crossface, Angle taps out.
Last man standing: Big Show vs. Shane McMahon
lol Shane botches grabbing a chair. Smooth. Shane crawls under the ring and he's got a stick. Big Show gets a clothesline, but takes a bunch of chair shots.
What is that smell, of course it's chloroform. Vince runs out and hits Shane with a chair, so both guys are down.
They're both up now, Big Show is immune to chemicals. Big Show pulls Shane up on an 8 count and chokeslams him just for more pain. Another broken count, Test boots Big Show in the face. JR points out Test is a bachelor a couple times as he battles Big Show near the entrance.
Shane's back up, Big Show's got a pipe. Shane's climbing the structure, this sure looks familiar. Test stops Big Show from chasing, Shane jumps for a leg drop on Big Show from 30 feet up. What the hell is Test doing, he's playing with the camera, now he picks up Shane and Big show doesn't get up.
Shane sure puts himself through some crazy spots sometimes. Luckily there was an air matress under all that wood.
HHH is Vince's only son. Awww.
Steve Blackman's eating a shrimp platter in New York.
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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...