LogFAQs > #980920716

Strictly speaking, the lack of sex is more a symptom of a far more contemptible problem than the actual problem itself.

I'm fairly vitriolic towards incels whenever they crop up, but part of that is down to the fact that I shared similar views when I was in high school and because I eventually outgrew it, I see people who continue to hold such views as being willfully childish and immature. Recognising that you have a problem, but refusing to do a damn thing to help resolve it doesn't inspire much sympathy in me and having a laundry list of mental conditions can only help to justify it so much before you fall back into being utterly contemptible. Never had an objection to virgins (who simply haven't had sex yet, but are otherwise well adjusted), aromatics, asexuals, people who have faced a trauma that had made sex difficult or undesirable to pursue or those who are genuinely living their best life, but are simply facing a bit of a dry spell, though.

One common argument that often gets brought up is that some people find social situations of various sorts difficult to navigate. Speaking as an autistic man, I consider this to be technically true, but functionally meaningless. It may take time, but it's learnable. It's the refusal to seriously play the game and then whine that you're not winning that gets me. Hell, I have dyspraxia as well, so, I struggle to write my own fucking name at the best of times, but I'm still willing to pick up a pen when called for.

And this inability to grow up usually permeates other parts of their lives. Often jobless or at least in a particularly miserable job with no serious ambitions of improving, no social circle, whether friends or otherwise, to speak of, only hobbies tend to be escapist comfort food that, while not wrong in moderation, they absolutely don't moderate and they're just relentlessly miserable and cynical. Even beyond anything else, they are simultaneously boring and draining to communicate with.

It's not that they're failures at sex and relationships, nor is it that they're failures at life in general. The problem is that they're willful failures who are quite aware of their problems and who, in lieu of actually sorting themselves out, all but pray to the abstract concept of sex to save them. Its madness.