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Topic~FIGHT!~ Heihachi Mishima vs. Ryu
Kamekguy
06/25/17 12:10:53 PM
#19:


Heihachi couldn't help but laugh as yet another member of their family was sent to the slaughter. He was well experienced in familial slaughter, so yet another one of these beasts proved to be no issue. Recent studies had shown that these creatures potentially donned feathers rather than the scaly forms they currently occupied. Heihachi found that loathesome, and gave the raptor the respect it deserved with a lightning god's fist directly into its maw. The creature's teeth shattered upon impact, Heihachi continuing to laugh as his heel rose to the heavens.

"This feels GREAT! Who else wants some?!" he challenged, his heel coming down on the creature's neck. Immediately, the raptor buckled, its neck twisting and its body ragdolling in a humorous way at Heihachi's sick ground bounce tech. As his opponent would also surely be enraptured with dinosaurs, and as the dinos had not so much as landed a hit on Heihachi's rippling old man bod, he had plenty of time to bring out further challengers.

It was then, from the nearby trees, that a Tyrannosaurus proceeded to roar. Heihachi stared, the beast's nostrils emitting a large plume of bloodthirsty breath. Heihachi had seen Jurassic Park several times, so he knew that simply by standing still, the beast could not see him properly. However, that was not a fair fight, so he backed up about ten meters.

"You fancy yourself a tyrant? Know that as the leader of the Mishima Zaibatsu, my iron fists control more strength than you could possibly imagine! However, should you prove to be a worthy enough foe... I shall train you. You will become my third son, and will be named Kazuo, or "first born". Because you will be the first son that I ever truly care for." The future Kazuo roared at the old man, as he was a t-rex and didn't understand Japanese. Heihachi simply took the teeth he knocked out of the raptors he kicked the asses of earlier and placed them between his knuckles. However, he did chuckle.

"Come at me, DINOSAAAAAUUUUUUUR!"

The beast threw its tail at Heihachi, who managed to punch the shit out of the tail. Stopping its full force, the beast was shocked at this utter defiance of physics, and screamed in pain as Heihachi took a firm grip of its tail. The beast reeled in a new feeling: embarrassment. Heihachi singlehandedly invented the feeling of lost pride as he swung the monstrous creature around and around. "SO LONG, GAY T-REX!" he exclaimed, laughing as he tossed the beast headfirst into a cave. The cave then collapsed in on the monster, its body twisting in a sickening display. For good measure, Heihachi picked up another rock he found and threw it at the other rocks, shattering them into many pieces of shrapnel. Surely, the entire monster would be paralyzed...

... But it wasn't. It came back, looked at Heihachi... and lowered its head in respect. Heihachi grinned and laughed. "Well fought, my son! You are everything I have ever wanted: obedient, destructive, durable, and not the devil! Kuma will be delighted to compete for my affection with you!"

By the time Ryu arrived, Heihachi's son already knew mishima-style karate and understood Japanese fluently. Heihachi and his new son double teamed Ryu, finishing him off with double Heaven's Gate fists flanked with dinosaur teeth. Ryu tried valiantly, but Heihachi had even more unexplained power-up modes to go through, and he also had his dinosaur and the power of family and friendship. Against these, a stupid loner hobo who couldn't even bang a teenage schoolgirl throwing her panties at him had to relent. Heihachi had proven, once and for all, that he was the best punchout artist, and that the real King of Iron Fist was the friends he made along the way.
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