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Topic	My fiancee finally stopped drinking after 10+ years
PoundGarden 11/02/22 12:01:46 AM #9:	Sufferedphoneix posted... She will need to figure out her triggers. You don't always outright know them but when she does she should have a talk with you about it. She can't avoid every trigger forever so she's gonna have to learn coping skills. Not every coping skill works for everyone so she'll have to try em out and see what works. Deep breathing meditation things to distract her etc. What's crazy is that's literally what I do at work. I literally wrote up a service plan for someone with a list of her triggers, coping skills, utilizing natural supports etc. And that's also where it gets muddier I can totally and rightfully see her getting pissed if she thinks I'm treating her like one of our patients. Sufferedphoneix posted... If she fucks up and gets drunk one night DO NOT get on her case. That will drive a person right back to drinking as feeling down a fuck up etc will take em down that path again. For sure. All I really did was tell her I'm not ready to get married until this gets under control so there's a goal more so than a consequence. If she isn't successful nothing changes from where things are now, I'd be disappointed but wouldn't rub it in her face. Sufferedphoneix posted... Random suggestion from someone I went to rehab with. Re arrange the house. It's a common suggestion to change the people places and things that you'd drink around. Not everyone can move but you can make it feel different. Like I still haven't sat in my living room since I've been back. It's where I'd sit everyday after work and drink. That sounds like a great idea, I'll run it by her. Thanks! I appreciate you sharing your insight it really was helpful --- "You go. I'm just going to stare at the lake and think about how I almost just killed a baby." <cite>PoundGarden posted [p:969133422] in My fiancee... [t:80218450]...</cite> <quote>Sufferedphoneix posted... </cite><quote>She will need to figure out her triggers. You don't always outright know them but when she does she should have a talk with you about it. She can't avoid every trigger forever so she's gonna have to learn coping skills. Not every coping skill works for everyone so she'll have to try em out and see what works. Deep breathing meditation things to distract her etc.</quote>What's crazy is that's literally what I do at work. I literally wrote up a service plan for someone with a list of her triggers, coping skills, utilizing natural supports etc. And that's also where it gets muddier I can totally and rightfully see her getting pissed if she thinks I'm treating her like one of our patients.Sufferedphoneix posted... </cite><quote>If she fucks up and gets drunk one night DO NOT get on her case. That will drive a person right back to drinking as feeling down a fuck up etc will take em down that path again.</quote>For sure. All I really did was tell her I'm not ready to get married until this gets under control so there's a goal more so than a consequence. If she isn't successful nothing changes from where things are now, I'd be disappointed but wouldn't rub it in her face.Sufferedphoneix posted... </cite><quote>Random suggestion from someone I went to rehab with. Re arrange the house. It's a common suggestion to change the people places and things that you'd drink around. Not everyone can move but you can make it feel different.Like I still haven't sat in my living room since I've been back. It's where I'd sit everyday after work and drink.</quote>That sounds like a great idea, I'll run it by her. Thanks! I appreciate you sharing your insight it really was helpful --- "You go. I'm just going to stare at the lake and think about how I almost just killed a baby."</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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