Board 8 > My mother is dying

(+) Yeah! (+)

I don't know why I'm posting this, I don't do serious stuff on GameFAQs but whatever

My mom has had MS gradually making life shittier and shittier for her for most of my life, and the various complications arising from her condition (bed-ridden or wheelchair bound at all times) and medication (it's hard to treat all the problems her condition causes without the side-effects of all the drugs getting ugly) have her in pretty bad shape now.

About a year ago I was talking to her and she was in good spirits because a doctor's appointment had told her her fears of being in a long-term care unit before Christmas were unfounded and she was probably going to be home even as late as this year's Christmas. Now it looks like her time left alive is more a matter of weeks than months, and she doesn't really realize it - earlier this year a combination of the medication she was on and the long-term effects of a surgery she had ages ago to deal with epilepsy hospitalized her with a mental breakdown, and she's still pretty unfocused mentally right now. When she got out of the hospital she was almost back to normal, but over the past two months or so she's lost the ability to really keep track of anything. So she knows she's not doing well but I don't think the severity of it can really register with her for more than a few minutes at a time.

I honestly don't know how I'm feeling right now, I think typing this up is the most the emotion of it has really hit me. In some ways it feels like I'm less affected than I should be since I've known for years her health could go south in a hurry at any time and for the last few months it's become more and more obvious she wouldn't have a lot of time left, so I guess I've kind of already gotten used to the feeling. Still over the last two weeks it's gone from a few years to possibly a few weeks and that's pretty hard to adjust to.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this, I'm not the type to talk about real life online and I've had a lot more success dealing with serious stuff personally than by sharing in the past, but what the hell, part of me just feels like talking about it in a relatively impersonal context for some reason.
---

Sorry to hear. Sometimes you just need to get stuff off your chest and B8 is usually pretty good about stuff like this.
---

Sorry to hear about this. My cousin has MS and it is a struggle.
---

My condolences

Stay strong
---

Thanks people
---

I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. I wish the best for you and your family.
---

I'm sorry
---

I'm so sorry. This was crushing to read. I know you'll get through it, but we're all here for you.
---

UltimaterializerX posted...

Watching your mother die is the absolute worst and I know exactly how you're feeling. PM me for my phone number if you need to call someone.

This.

I am so sorry, Panthera. Remember to take care of yourself during this time as well, it is so easy to forget to do that as well.
---

DoomTheGyarados posted...

Remember to take care of yourself during this time as well, it is so easy to forget to do that as well.

If anything it's kind of unsettling how little this is actually affecting me. It's far easier to keep myself from dwelling on it than I would have expected. I'm not sure if that's a sign of being really cold hearted or just the fact that I've been worried about this day coming to some extent for half my life making me a lot less caught off guard by it than most people are when a relatively young parent is in this situation.
---

Sorry to hear that man. My aunt AND uncle both have MS so I know how much it sucks.
---

Really so sorry to hear that. I too wish the best for everyone.
And people deal with hard times differently, so you shouldn't feel guilty about how you feel.
---

Go. to. therapy. now.

Speaking from experience. I know the feeling of being in shock, being unable to feel. Finding ways to release and access those feelings now will help you in the grieving process later.

I wish I had something to offer besides my sympathy. The only thing I can recommend at this point is making sure you say the things you need to say to her now, because regret is a terrible thing.

Uglyface2 posted...

I wish I had something to offer besides my sympathy. The only thing I can recommend at this point is making sure you say the things you need to say to her now, because regret is a terrible thing.

Fortunately this is more or less taken care of; my mother and I didn't exactly get along great for a while but a couple years after I moved out we kind of settled the issue and it's been good since then. I'm definitely glad that's all done since in her current mental state it wouldn't really be possible to talk about stuff she only partially remembers and can't really focus on.
---

Don't forget to take care of yourself too. Condolences.
---

I feel your pain dude. I'm currently in the same boat. Any day now really. :/

And I once thought I wouldn't be bothered by it either but the closer it comes the harder the reality.

You should spend as much time as you can with her though. She'll need your support whether you feel for her or not.

Just remember, the day may come when you'll want someone standing by your side.

I was with my grandmother when she passed and she seemed so much more at peace with the support. Her last words to me were "Thank You" as she fell asleep for the last time. :(
---

Se7enthrust posted...

I feel your pain dude. I'm currently in the same boat. Any day now really. :/

And I once thought I wouldn't be bothered by it either but the closer it comes the harder the reality.

You should spend as much time as you can with her though. She'll need your support whether you feel for her or not.

Just remember, the day may come when you'll want someone standing by your side.

I was with my grandmother when she passed and she seemed so much more at peace with the support. Her last words to me were "Thank You" as she fell asleep for the last time. :(

Damn dude, hope you can handle it alright, thanks for the support
---