Poll of the Day > Your 5 year old son comes up to you and says, "I'm a girl."

(+) Yeah! (+)

How would you respond?

Maybe you question your son, try to find out why he feels this way. Be a calm and rational adult parent.

So you humor him.

He continues to reply with things like:

"I want you to call me a girl from now on."

"Call me a she."

"I want to use the girl's bathroom."

"I want to wear girl's clothes."

"I want to grow my hair long and have it braided with pink bows."

"I'm a little princess."

"I am not a boy."

What do you do? How do you handle this situation?

(besides whine about this being another GreenKnight topic that you could just as easily ignore, lol)
---

A lot of trans people will tell you they felt weird from an early age, so him being 5 sounds about right.

What do I do? treat my child with respect to their feelings and seek a course of action that will help them while not doing any permanent changes until they're older and still feel the same way(if they do).

I'd say "okay" and I'd treat them the way they wanted me to. If they continue to feel this way later in life, I'd help them to transition; if they decided they'd rather be treated as a boy again later on, that'd be fine too.
---

What if he wanted to be called "Vanessa" from now on? Completely disregarding the name you chose for him at birth? You'd be okay with that as well?
---

Yes, because if they are trans later on in life they will change it anyways most likely.

I feel its wrong to deny their feelings for the chance they are legitimate and still feel the same way later on in life. However being acclimating like that doesnt mean permanent life changes that early.

GreenKnight127 posted...

another GreenKnight topic

I seriously don't know who you are.
---

"okay honey that's nice"
---

Never happened ever. So why?
---

I'd say "No, you're not and no, I won't." then explain to him how gender works, how he's still free to express himself however he wants, and what the dangers of expressing conflicting views amongst adversaries are.
---

I'd explain to him that I already knew that, but we had to pretend he was a boy so that the evil lords would not take her away from us, as we were only allowed to have male children, but that some day he could show the world who she really was.

Then if she still felt the same way after puberty, I'd tell her the truth.
---

so when did people start taking 5 year olds seriously?
---

wolfy42 posted...

I'd explain to him that I already knew that, but we had to pretend he was a boy so that the evil lords would not take her away from us, as we were only allowed to have male children, but that some day he could show the world who she really was.

Then if she still felt the same way after puberty, I'd tell her the truth.

lol
---

edededdy posted...

so when did people start taking 5 year olds seriously?

Well....that's the interesting question right there.

Society has changed a lot recently....and a lot of parents treat their 5 year olds as though they are on the same level as they are as parents.

For better or for worse, this is how it is slowly becoming in America.

I don't know how to feel about it, which is why I posed the question on this board. It's an interesting issue with lots of implications.
---

edededdy posted...

so when did people start taking 5 year olds seriously?

This isn't a hypothetical, I had a student like this, had already been treated as a boy for 2 years (was in my 3rd grade class), used the boys restroom etc. Seemed crazy but never had any issues and just went with it.

On a personal level (I'm not teaching now), i don't think anything that drastic should be done till after puberty (having someone live as an opposite gender). I mean there are tomboys etc, you girls that like sports and hang out with the boys etc, had plenty of them. And guys that like hanging out with the girls etc. That is plenty at that age, honestly seems silly to me to even define gender until later. Parents choose the clothes and at least through most of elementary the kids don't really care too much (except if they have my little ponies on em or minecraft swords or a spiderman logo etc).

But whatever, it's a strange world and to each their own, but yeah, personally I would suspend any such large life altering decisions till the child was older.
---

I'd like to think I'd raised him better than to be confused. However, if it happened, I'd respond, "No, you're a boy," and explain the differences. Even if it's not just a phase, five is way too fucking young to get into that and any parent who turns their child into a progressive social experiment should be charged with child abuse. Of course, given the possibility that he'd no longer be able to serve as a genetic heir, I'd probably have another kid just to be safe. After all, the only reason I'd have kids is continue a bloodline so I'd want them to have kids and their kids to have kids. And many some of them would also own cats or dogs, whose litters would be passed down among family members as well.

EclairReturns posted...

GreenKnight127 posted...

another GreenKnight topic

I seriously don't know who you are.

But aren't you that guy who remembers things about people?!
---

I could care less about genetics, and honestly would only want my child to be happy, but I agree with you Zeus, makes absolutely no sense at that age. Even if the child did choose to be a girl later, she could still save sperm etc and have children later possibly, so you wouldn't neccesarily not have future generations.

I've worked with kids alot though and honestly I don't see how these concepts would ever come up unless the adults brought it up in the first place, or the child heard about such things somewhere (internet etc).

I am not an expert on child psychology etc, but young kids are concerned about making friends, having fun, not being bullies, doing well in school/not feeling stupid (well some of them) etc. I don't see them caring that much about what they are wearing at all (other then maybe wanting to wear a frozen backpack or something), or the gender they are considered.

This only started to be a thing at all recently and I personally believe it's due to parents or other relatives influences.......and it is probably not healthy, but again, i'm not an expert.

I'm all for people living how they want, as the gender they want etc, just....I think they should actually reach an age where gender actually makes some kind of difference before making such a choice.
---

I'd need to bring in help from a behaviour consultant.

because I don't have a son
---

For one a five year human has no clue about life or what is happening
---

I agree with Zeus, and also see where Wolfy is coming from.

I had this same conversation with some friends the other day. The one friend was gay and he got VERY PASSIONATE about it, because he has a bunch of trans friends....and he firmly believed it would cause permanent emotional trauma to the 5 year old if you didn't listen to them and didn't refer to them as a "she" from that moment on, allow them to wear girl's clothes, and allow them to rename themselves "Vanessa" at the drop of a hat.

It kinda blew me away. Because you are essentially letting your 5 year old dictate everything. No guidance or questioning or resistance allowed....otherwise you are being an "intolerant and oppressive parent". But I wouldn't see that as intolerant or oppressive at all. You are simply guiding your child through a temporary identity hurdle.

I mean.....we are talking about a 5 year old here. I'm not saying they have NO concept of personal identity....but at the same time.....their concept of anything is significantly more abstract and temporary than an adult.

If my son came up to me as an 18 year old and told me he thought he was a girl.....I'd take it more seriously and be supportive. Puberty changes a lot of things. Hormonal and chemical fluctuations can literally redefine someone's entire personality/sexuality. But a 5 year old? I'd just be "humoring him" more than anything. I'm not going to change the entire structure of his life just because he told me he thinks he's a girl on a whim. That seems even more dangerous than anything else, because it kinda makes you a pushover as a parent.

It would also be mildly insulting that he would want to reject the name his mother and I gave him. A 5 year old renaming himself? No. We gotta draw the line somewhere. Otherwise kids will find out at school they can rename themselves and you'll start having classrooms full of kids named "Dragon Shredder VII" and "Captain Amazeballs" because reasons. Maybe if it was a nickname or something. But going to court and legally renaming him and demanding all his teachers and peers call him that as well, otherwise they are hurting his feelings?? That's taking it a bit too far.

Strange time we live in.
---

Tell them to explain it to as best as possible. Then afterwards tell him to speak to me again about in like 5 more years, see if things changed.
---

I'd play along. I'd rather my kid define himself and give me these cues early on.

If my son is dressing like a girl consistently from age 5 to 10, I'm getting my "son" testosterone blockers asap if I have to move to another country.

Yellow posted...

I'd play along. I'd rather my kid define himself and give me these cues early on.

If my son is dressing like a girl consistently from age 5 to 10, I'm getting my "son" testosterone blockers asap if I have to move to another country.

You wont have to move. A five year old is now a person. With their own thoughts and fellings.
---

time to go see a therapist

you dont treat mental illness by telling the patient that their disorder is reality. you dont tell a person with schizophrenia that the voices they hear and the things they see are real.
---

Zeus posted...

that guy who remembers things about people

This bloke I have no information about.
---

EclairReturns posted...

GreenKnight127 posted...

another GreenKnight topic

I seriously don't know who you are.

Used to make hypothetical pedophilia scenario topics, now he makes topics about transgender hypotheticals.
---

I once had 2 parents wait over 2 hours for their son to finish playing with lego's because he didn't want to leave when they got there (this was in an after school program (Champions). They refused to tell their child no basically. They were not the only ones, although that is the most extreme case, but so many children are hard to manage in a classroom environment because they are never told no, or disciplined in any way , at home.

It's quite frustrating. I do not believe in hitting kids, but, you gotta at least tell them no sometimes.
---

CacciatoPart3 posted...

EclairReturns posted...

GreenKnight127 posted...

another GreenKnight topic

I seriously don't know who you are.

Used to make hypothetical pedophilia scenario topics, now he makes topics about transgender hypotheticals.

Still can't provide evidence that suggests GreenKnight is a pedophile. Just wants to troll because he was triggered by GreenKnight in the past. Pathetic stalker confirmed.
---

wolfy42 posted...

I once had 2 parents wait over 2 hours for their son to finish playing with lego's because he didn't want to leave when they got there (this was in an after school program (Champions). They refused to tell their child no basically. They were not the only ones, although that is the most extreme case, but so many children are hard to manage in a classroom environment because they are never told no, or disciplined in any way , at home.

It's quite frustrating. I do not believe in hitting kids, but, you gotta at least tell them no sometimes.

Yeah, I've seen this quite often as well. The repercussions of such "parenting" are horrifying.

Many parents nowadays are lazy and would rather let their children make the rules.....than dare to tell their child "no" and risk having to deal with their temper tantrum.

So just avoid ALL tantrums by constantly giving in to your child.

Congratulations, you are raising a future criminal/psychopath.
---

CacciatoPart3 posted...

EclairReturns posted...

GreenKnight127 posted...

another GreenKnight topic

I seriously don't know who you are.

Used to make hypothetical pedophilia scenario topics, now he makes topics about transgender hypotheticals.

He's done a lot of weird scenario topics. Not sure how much I remember about the hypothetical pedo ones you're referring to.
---

Late transgenders are miserable outcasts that have the worst of both worlds and that's what waiting until 18 will get you. No one will single my son out if I get him drugs early, if I force him to wait, he'll grow up to be a (putting it lightly) South Park stereotype, because he's going to transition anyway. There's only one correct choice here.

There's no magical cure that's going to rewire your kid's brain and fix dysphoria, despite people pretending there is one, and that everyone else is "embracing mental illness". It doesn't matter, because he's just going to transition anyway later on... badly. I might as well get it done right.

Zeus posted...

CacciatoPart3 posted...

EclairReturns posted...

GreenKnight127 posted...

another GreenKnight topic

I seriously don't know who you are.

Used to make hypothetical pedophilia scenario topics, now he makes topics about transgender hypotheticals.

He's done a lot of weird scenario topics. Not sure how much I remember about the hypothetical pedo ones you're referring to.

It was the thread from several months ago where I was asking about society's sexist perception of men. Cacciato interpreted the conversation as me supporting pedophilia somehow. Now he stalks literally every thread I make and tries to convince everyone I'm a pedophile because of that thread. But he refuses to post any evidence to back up his claim. Big surprise.
---

The clear response is concern and therapy. Like future Mike Myer Halloween stuff.
---

OneTimeBen posted...

The clear response is concern and therapy. Like future Mike Myer Halloween stuff.

And it's going to be completely ineffective and he's going to be a knuckly deep voiced woman at age 25 that's mocked on a weekly basis

Yellow posted...

OneTimeBen posted...

The clear response is concern and therapy. Like future Mike Myer Halloween stuff.

And it's going to be completely ineffective and he's going to be a knuckly deep voiced woman at age 25 that's mocked on a weekly basis

Probably killed themself by then.
---

OneTimeBen posted...

Yellow posted...

OneTimeBen posted...

The clear response is concern and therapy. Like future Mike Myer Halloween stuff.

And it's going to be completely ineffective and he's going to be a knuckly deep voiced woman at age 25 that's mocked on a weekly basis

Probably killed themself by then.

Yeah that's no good

Yellow posted...

OneTimeBen posted...

Yellow posted...

OneTimeBen posted...

The clear response is concern and therapy. Like future Mike Myer Halloween stuff.

And it's going to be completely ineffective and he's going to be a knuckly deep voiced woman at age 25 that's mocked on a weekly basis

Probably killed themself by then.

Yeah that's no good

But a 5 year old knows who they are? You remember 5?
---

Yellow posted...

Late transgenders are miserable outcasts that have the worst of both worlds and that's what waiting until 18 will get you. No one will single my son out if I get him drugs early, if I force him to wait, he'll grow up to be a (putting it lightly) South Park stereotype, because he's going to transition anyway. There's only one correct choice here.

They almost certainly will still single your son out if you give him drugs early. It's not like anti-transgender attitudes magically vanish. The people who would give them grief if it happened later will still give them grief if it happened younger.

Yellow posted...

OneTimeBen posted...

The clear response is concern and therapy. Like future Mike Myer Halloween stuff.

And it's going to be completely ineffective and he's going to be a knuckly deep voiced woman at age 25 that's mocked on a weekly basis

Is early intervention supposed to reconfigure the entire body in a way that isn't possible later in life then? Because if both ways require continual hormone replacements, it seems like you should have the same result.
---

Zeus posted...

Yellow posted...

Late transgenders are miserable outcasts that have the worst of both worlds and that's what waiting until 18 will get you. No one will single my son out if I get him drugs early, if I force him to wait, he'll grow up to be a (putting it lightly) South Park stereotype, because he's going to transition anyway. There's only one correct choice here.

They almost certainly will still single your son out if you give him drugs early. It's not like anti-transgender attitudes magically vanish. The people who would give them grief if it happened later will still give them grief if it happened younger.

Yellow posted...

OneTimeBen posted...

The clear response is concern and therapy. Like future Mike Myer Halloween stuff.

And it's going to be completely ineffective and he's going to be a knuckly deep voiced woman at age 25 that's mocked on a weekly basis

Is early intervention supposed to reconfigure the entire body in a way that isn't possible later in life then? Because if both ways require continual hormone replacements, it seems like you should have the same result.

We are getting into androgynous birth here. Topic is born son.
---

I'm guessing if you do hormone therapy before puberty, or (as far as I know this would be illegal) surgery even, it would probably cause someone born male to not develop most male traits during puberty. I believe they used to make eunicks that way, to make them keep a high pitched voice for singing etc, prevents body hair from growing and many masculine features are more softened etc.

So....again in theory (I have done zero research), if you did hormone therapy and perhaps a surgery before puberty you could ensure someone was more feminine over all when they got older, and it would require far less effort (and be more effective) if they wanted to live life as a female.

I mean, I get that, but I don't get a 5 year old knowing that...perhaps .....maybe....if it was a desire for years and the child was 10 or so and would hit puberty soon, at least doing a hormone therapy (which could be at least partially reversed) might make sense.

That is as far as I would go with kids though, and even that, I would have MANY discussions first with the child, not in a negative way, but to ensure it was really what they wanted, and why they wanted it.
---

Can all agree a 5 year old saying im a girl is fucked up
---

@Yellow thanks for posting with compassion. Had to stop reading the topic because of the ignorant posts but it's good to see some good ones from you.

Zeus posted...

I'd like to think I'd raised him better than to be confused.

Apparently Zeus thinks transgenderism is purely the product of bad parenting.
---

SkynyrdRocker posted...

@Yellow thanks for posting with compassion. Had to stop reading the topic because of the ignorant posts but it's good to see some good ones from you.

I just speak my mind, but I get it, it's draining to be that one guy.

OneTimeBen posted...

Can all agree a 5 year old saying im a girl is fucked up

And yet.....it is happening. And it's happening more and more often.

Which I find strange. Because humans have been human since we were humans. And yet....this wasn't really a thing until recently.

Almost makes me wonder how much the parents are contributing to this. Encouraging and supporting perhaps more than they should. Using their children as puppets for social standing and attention.

I had a neighbor like that.

Her one daughter identified as an animal, and she would wear a fur tail all the time, everywhere she went. She would have a fit if she was asked to take it off. The other son was 7 and wanted to be referred to as a girl. Renamed himself and everything just as I explained in this thread. The youngest son was deemed autistic by the mom, she insisted it to everyone she met. But no doctors would actually verify this, but the mom insisted. I spent a lot of time around the son when my girlfriend at the time who would help with gymnastics and stuff. There was nothing even remotely autistic about the kid. He just had an unstable mom with unstable discipline (more like NONEXISTENT discipline). The mom was a real piece of work who seemed hellbent on having the most unique and diverse family with all kinds of issues so she could compete with the other moms in the neighborhood whose kids had whatever specialties/disabilities/learning needs. It was painfully obvious what was going on.

One kid is an 8 year old furry. One 7 year old is transgender. And the youngest is autistic?

How can anyone look at all those facts and NOT think the parents have something to do with it?

It's pretty messed up.

And if this post gets moderated because I mentioned "autism" take note of the CONTEXT in which I used it. Nothing was offensive about it. Thanks, gamefaqs.
---

Zeus posted...

CacciatoPart3 posted...

EclairReturns posted...

GreenKnight127 posted...

another GreenKnight topic

I seriously don't know who you are.

Used to make hypothetical pedophilia scenario topics, now he makes topics about transgender hypotheticals.

He's done a lot of weird scenario topics. Not sure how much I remember about the hypothetical pedo ones you're referring to.

Yeah now hes PMing me bitching about it. I guess I could just post screenshots from that particular site where Zang and some others called him out on it too.
---

CacciatoPart3 posted...

Zeus posted...

CacciatoPart3 posted...

EclairReturns posted...

GreenKnight127 posted...

another GreenKnight topic

I seriously don't know who you are.

Used to make hypothetical pedophilia scenario topics, now he makes topics about transgender hypotheticals.

He's done a lot of weird scenario topics. Not sure how much I remember about the hypothetical pedo ones you're referring to.

Yeah now hes PMing me bitching about it. I guess I could just post screenshots from that particular site where Zang and some others called him out on it too.

Please do. But don't do it here. That would be off topic (which is all you ever are). Make your own damn thread where you pathetically attempt to convince everyone I'm a pedophile. I'll make sure to moderate you.
---

Lol TC is having a meltdown because his weird posts are getting in the way of his desire to shit on transgenders

SkynyrdRocker posted...

Lol TC is having a meltdown because his weird posts are getting in the way of his desire to shit on transgenders

Provide evidence of me "shitting on transgenders" please.

Oh wait.

You can't.
---

SkynyrdRocker posted...

Lol TC is having a meltdown because his weird posts are getting in the way of his desire to shit on transgenders

Yeah, he did it in that bizarre pheromone topic too. Shit's fuckin creepy.
---

CacciatoPart3 posted...

SkynyrdRocker posted...

Lol TC is having a meltdown because his weird posts are getting in the way of his desire to shit on transgenders

Yeah, he did it in that bizarre pheromone topic too. Shit's fuckin creepy.

Evidence?

Oh wait.

You have none.
---