Current Events > How to have a better marriage -- Don't ever talk about money.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Especially before you get married.

what if your partner has shitty credit and/or is really irresponsible with money?
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boxington posted...

what if your partner has shitty credit and/or is really irresponsible with money?

Definitely don't merge your bank accounts. Tell her to have her own account and only give her money if it's an emergency. If she is constantly asking for money, might want to reconsider your choice of spouses.

Is giving awful marriage advice like your new gimmick or something? After your last terrible thread, this one pops up.
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MabusIncarnate posted...

Is giving awful marriage advice like your new gimmick or something? After your last terrible thread, this one pops up.

Eh, I probably mis-worded the title. Didn't really mean that sex completely ends. Just meant you have a lot more sex before you're married than after. And it's usually true.

It would be great if you could go your whole life without talking about money, but this is unlikely to be possible unless you are wealthy enough to spend money on almost anything you want without worrying about it running out.
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Rypt posted...

boxington posted...

what if your partner has shitty credit and/or is really irresponsible with money?

Definitely don't merge your bank accounts. Tell her to have her own account and only give her money if it's an emergency. If she is constantly asking for money, might want to reconsider your choice of spouses.

Generally in a marriage you have bills you pay as a household. Which most likely will need you to both talk about money.
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How do you make financial decisions?

Well I mainly meant dont talk too much about debt, assets, insurance. There are times when you can't avoid it, but don't make that the main focus of your marriage. Not healthy.

knutjob posted...

How do you make financial decisions?

Like I said, there's some stuff you have to talk about. And if it's necessary, do what you have to do, then move on from it. Talking about money too much causes problems.

no wonder so many people are in six figure debt with at least hundreds in monthly interest.
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I think this completely depends on the couple. A friend of mine is in the process of leaving her husband because he refuses to discuss their finances at all making it impossible for them to plan for the future. In contrast my wife and I are very open about money but we have very similar philosophies to money and it works. Just this week we have planned out how to best pay for my daughter's childcare, what do to with our savings short term and how much to budget for our vacation. It feels good to know were on the same page.

Dude, sorry you have a shitty marriage apparently with the no sex and all, but this advice is terrible. People, dont listen to this BS.

Not talking about money is one of the absolute worst things you can do in a relationship, both before and after marriage. You have to know where you stand both short and long term, and as individuals and as a family. Avoiding serious talks (and yes, sometimes fights) is relationship suicide.

Every marriage I've ever seen that was based on money doesn't end well. Unless there's an endless supply of it.

This is terrible advice WTF

Make a budget and stick to it. Call and discuss purchases that don't fit in the budget. Discuss your savings and investments every month before writing those checks.

Good grief dude.
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berlyman101 posted...

no wonder so many people are in six figure debt with at least hundreds in monthly interest.

I believe kids are probably a large factor in these cases
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You'll need to talk about money. Don't fight about money and don't spend friviously.

Not talking about money will land you in a very bad place, where you're like "wtf happened to our money?".
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Well, I didnt mean spending decisions.

It's tough not to. My gf comes from a pretty wealthy family (both parents are doctors) and has very little sense of finances and money. I don't make that much money and pay for most things so I have to hit the brakes on her or else she'll run me dry. Next year she'll be out of law school and be making way more than me and at that point she can spend whatever she wants.
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yeah this is ass tier advice
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I guess TCs gimmick is giving out terrible relationship advice.

Rypt posted...

Every marriage I've ever seen that was based on money doesn't end well. Unless there's an endless supply of it.

Are you sure those marriages aren't based on having money for the purpose of spending it on things?

IMO the best set up if you're both working is to have a joint checking account, along with your own personal accounts.
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Honestly everyone's second date should be a meeting with a financial planner.

Cleo_II posted...

I guess TCs gimmick is giving out terrible relationship advice.

3 topics and counting all in the last 24 hours.
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Cleo_II posted...

I guess TCs gimmick is giving out terrible relationship advice.

Certainly seems like it.
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This also applies to family/friends, and even politics/religion.

I remember reading that advice.

Then for year after year after year. Every single time we went on an out of state vacation/visit to relatives within hours without fail it was arguements over politics and money. It's supposed to be a time of visiting and trying to relax. Instead within hours it'd start and go on for the entire week or two. Clinton this, Kennedy that, lottery this, etc. It'd get pretty heated and even as a kid I was about to tell everyone to shut the hell up.

Probably why I prefered to go stay with other relatives or hang out with the neighbor's dog, tbh.