Board 8 > Whiskey Nick Whiskey Ranks the 112 movies he owns

(+) Yeah! (+)

SephG's movie topic got me in the mood to rank my modest collection. I like pretty much everything I own, there are few exceptions for various reasons.

So lets start with no bang at all.

112. The Beach - 2000

Came in a combo pack with another film that I actually wanted. For some reason the combo pack was cheaper than just the other film. I assume because this movie is so bad it drags down the value. Anyway never seen it. No desire to see it. Know nothing about it. Assume it has a beach in it. THE beach. The definitive beach? An alternate universe with only one beach?
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Tag
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there are few exceptions for various reasons.

You can toss in the porn DVDs it's cool I'll read your mini review

modest 112 huh

here is my ranking of movies I own

1. The Princess Bride
2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
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I own 0 porn

Why would anyone ever pay for porn?
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Mean Girls for #1 plz

111. Rocky V - 1990

God what a miserably bad film in a series I love.
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110. Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky - 1991

This movie.... How I came to own this is a tale in itself. Ever work with or go to school with someone that just craves your approval? This guy I worked with at Burger King was constantly trying to share things with me in hopes I would like them. This film for some reason was chief among them. He was so adamant I see it, that he gave me a copy. I just tossed it aside at home for ages with him asking every shift if I had seen it yet. Finally I caved and watched and well.... I feel like the entire plot synopsis will help describe what I saw. MAJOR SPOILERS in the rest of this post and the next

By the year 2001, all correctional facilities have been privatized. Lik Wong/Ricky Ho, a martial artist, and former music student, is sentenced to 10 years in prison for manslaughter after killing a crime lord indirectly responsible for the death of his girlfriend Keiko/Anne after a group of thugs chased her off the building to her death after witnessing their heroin deal. It is revealed in a flashback Ricky's name as a child was Rick, but his uncle, after seeing how strong he was, decided the name Ricky was suitable.

An elderly inmate, Ma/Omar, is attacked by the captain of the cells Wildcat/Samuel. Ricky trips Samuel, who falls face first on a piece of wood with nails. After this, one of the inmates suggests that Zorro, a dangerous, morbidly obese inmate should kill him. Omar is informed by the guards that his probation was turned down after Samuel lies, telling the guards that Omar was spreading rumors. Stricken by grief, Omar hangs himself. Zorro attacks Ricky but is killed by Ricky's bare hands. Ricky thwarts Samuel's attack and kills him as well.

Shortly after, a member of the Four Heavenly Kings (Gang of Four in the English dub) named Hai/Oscar the leader of the North Cell, suggests that Ricky see the one-eyed Assistant Warden Dan. After Ricky's confrontation, Dan suggests Oscar kill him. Outside the prison yard, Oscar and Ricky engage in a fight. After losing an eye, Oscar cuts a hole in his stomach and uses his intestines to strangle Ricky. Ricky breaks free, delivering a crushing blow which kills Oscar. Ricky soon discovers that the Gang of Four is growing illegal opium for profit. Huang Chung/Rogan, leader of the West Cell, discovers Ricky set the poppy garden on fire, leading to a fight. Brandon, leader of the South Cell, throws needles to tie Ricky up with them, leaving him defenseless. Meanwhile, the guards report to Dan that the Warden is returning from his vacation, prompting Dan to raise the Zero Alarm, causing the defense system to shoot anyone outside their cell. As the fight continues, Tarzan, leader of the East Cell, arrives announcing his intent to fight Ricky but leaves along with the Gang as the Zero Alarm goes off.
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The next day, the Warden and his spoiled son return from their vacation. Dan informs the Warden about the incidents, including the poppy garden. This infuriates the Warden, almost transforming into a Hulk-like creature, though he prevents it by taking medication. As the Warden questions Ricky, Tarzan bursts through the wall to fight Ricky, which ends in Ricky dismembering half of Tarzan's left arm and breaking his mandible. The Warden activates a ceiling trap on Ricky who struggles to stay alive. Tarzan regains consciousness and holds the ceiling, only to unintentionally save Ricky by being crushed himself. After escaping, Ricky finds a photo showing Tarzan had a family waiting for him. The Warden orders the inmates bury Ricky alive, which they reluctantly obey. The Warden proposes if Ricky survives underground for a week, he will free him. Ricky does survive by eating dog meat, however, the Warden denies him freedom. Later that night, Ricky is brought food by an inmate Freddy. Another inmate informs Dan who mortally wounds Freddy. Dan then opens Ricky's cell to taunt him. However, Ricky breaks free and kills the inmate and knocks out Dan's remaining eye. The inmates then rebel and violently ambush Dan.

In the kitchen, Ricky, the prisoners, and Dan burst through the wall. The Warden shoots Dan with a homemade gas-pressured bullet, causing him to inflate and violently explode. Rogan and Brandon confront Ricky, who gravely injures Rogan. Brandon, realizing Ricky is far too powerful for him, flees from the scene, but not before the Warden shoots and kills Brandon. The Warden, revealing that he too, is a martial artist, transforms into a grotesque creature and battles Ricky. The fight ends with Ricky crippling and throwing the mutated Warden into a meat grinder. The prisoner's rebel once again and start to attack the guards until Ricky reaches the prison wall, breaking it allowing the prisoners and himself to go free.

Yeah...
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What the fuck...? I feel like I just read the synopsis to four different movies.
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Yes, its a very complex story
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It is revealed in a flashback Ricky's name as a child was Rick, but his uncle, after seeing how strong he was, decided the name Ricky was suitable.

Is a fantastic line though. It's so delightfully insane
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I just spent 10 minutes looking up gifs of this movie, and it looks delightfully corny. This is exactly my kind of movie.
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109. Hot Tub Time Machine - 2010

When all the movie rental places went out of business I picked this up for $1. It was not worth it.
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108. The Hangover - 2009

This movie was so overhyped and I will never understand why. Everyone was telling me I had to see it. It might be my outright hate for Galifinakis or it could just be that this movie wasn't funny.
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I would not want to count all the movies me and my family own. And I don't know how many of those movies were specifically bought for me, but it'd be like... Bunch of kids movies when I was young, Harry Potter growing up, then Superhero stuff as we still enjoy watching that as a family. Nothing really bought *by* me and just for me/the family to enjoy.
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Tag. I enjoy these little write-ups
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Tag!
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galifinakis does suck
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WickIebee posted...

I would not want to count all the movies me and my family own. And I don't know how many of those movies were specifically bought for me, but it'd be like... Bunch of kids movies when I was young, Harry Potter growing up, then Superhero stuff as we still enjoy watching that as a family. Nothing really bought *by* me and just for me/the family to enjoy.

I didn't count movies I don't currently have in my house. So while I had basically every Disney VHS as a kid, they won't feature here unless I repurchased them
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107. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard - 2009

Another $1 movie from places going out of business. A few laughs to be had here, not much.
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106. Batman and Robin - 1997

CHILL! Arnold is the only good part of this movie.
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105. Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny - 2006

The music is fantastic. Everything else is borderline awful. Feels like this wishes it was This is Spinal Tap, but falls way short.
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104. Spies Like Us - 1985

This came in a 4 pack of spy films. It's a fun movie, but not one I ever go back to.
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103. Hobo with a Shotgun - 2011

Along the same lines as Machete, this film delivers exactly what the title promises. A hobo with a shotgun. Not as fun as either of the Machete films.

Great short plot synopsis. A homeless vigilante blows away crooked cops, pedophile Santas, and other scumbags with his trusty pump-action shotgun
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102. Kick Ass 2 - 2013

Did not hit the mark like the original. Jim Carrey was a ton of fun in this but the rest of the cast sort of fell short of the original. Tried too hard.
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Tag

The Hangover was great when it was sort of unexpected. I can definitely see the hype hurting it.
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101. Machete 2 - 2013

Also fell short of the original, got too full of itself and tried too hard. Still a fun watch.
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Nelson_Mandela posted...

Tag

The Hangover was great when it was sort of unexpected. I can definitely see the hype hurting it.

Yeah I feel like had I seen it before everyone was all up its ass, that I would have probably liked it more. Still hate Galifinakis, but for sure being told something is amazing can hurt it badly. If going in I am expecting a 10 and get a 8, that 8 feels like a 2. Or something.
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100. Street Fighter - 1994

My god this movie is awful. But in the best kind of way. I like a good cheese fest. Raul Julia absolutely kills it here as M. Bison and Van Damme as Guile is hilarious. The rest of the casting is a mix of odd choices and bad choices.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjZ5I8l32CI" data-time="
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99. The Other Guys - 2010

This is a one scene movie. The Rock and Samuel L Jackson completely steal the show. Then the remaining 90% of the movie happens and doesn't matter.
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Tug
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98. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls - 1995

Comedies probably shouldn't have sequels is a trend on this list. The best scene in this one is when Ace gets spears in both legs. Cracks me up every time. The rest of the movie meh, kinda racist too. Just kinda.
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when nature calls is a classic

EARTHQUAKE TEST
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97. Happy Gilmore - 1996

At one point I would have said this was Adam Sandler's best movie. That honor now goes to Little Nicky. Along with Billy Madison, this film has aged terribly for me. The Bob Barker stuff is no longer fresh and misses its mark for me as I have aged. About the only thing really good here is literally everything Shooter McGavin does. He is an outstanding villain. He would eat a bunch of pieces of shit like us for breakfast.
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96. The Sandlot - 1993

Great story. A story lots of people can relate to about their time as a kid. The movie is kind of boring though on a recent rewatch. Much better when you are 7-12 in age.
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95. Austin Powers in Goldmember - 2002

Austin Powers is one comedy series where a sequel was awesome. The 3rd film not so much, funny but missed its mark a lot. The opening is excellent though.
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I like sandlot , but it's better viewed as several episodes of a TV show as opposed to a movie. There's like 6 different unconnected plot points which just happen in succession. All of which are fine on their own but anything not related to the dog/backyard doesn't have much meat to it.

It's still probably my 2nd favorite baseball movie, after Major League
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Whiskey_Nick posted...

About the only thing really good here is literally everything Shooter McGavin does

Very true. You can just tell how much fun Christopher McDonald had chewing the scenery as him. I periodically see him in viral pictures and whatnot in character with random golfers, just loving it.
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94. Dumb & Dumber To - 2014

Ugh. This should probably be lower. Why are Harry and Lloyd so mean in this one?
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93. Batman Forever - 1995

I cannot sanction such buffoonery.
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92. Anchorman 2 - 2013

Why is this movie 4 hours long? The fight scene was fun. A few cheap laughs here and there, but the entire thing with Ron in the lighthouse and his family and oh god his kid is awful. Brick is a great side character, not a guy that needs a whole story. Not nearly enough Brian Fantana.
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91. Rookie of the Year - 1993

Daniel Stern is one of the greatest actors of all time. Direct line to my funny bone.
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90. Back to the Future 3 - 1990

Fun, but falls well short of the first two.
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89. Machete - 2010

This is some great over the top fun and violence.
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88. Bloodsport - 1988

Speaking of over the top and violent. Jean Claude appears again on my list. This movie has some fantastic meme worthy facial expressions.
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87. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace - 1999

I love every Star Wars movie. And it happened more as I got older. In high school I didn't really care for the series all that much, but over time I like them more and more. They are so rewatchable for me. Phantom Menace is easily the worst one, but still I love it.
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86. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie - 1995

Ivan Ooze is so fun. This movie is very fun and very bad. If only they had the original Red and Black Rangers here.
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85. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey - 1991

Okay so turns out there are some good comedy sequels. While not as good as the original, it is right there with it.
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