Current Events > People who go on dates so the guy can pay for everything?

(+) Yeah! (+)

What do you think about that?

This girl I know who is struggling financially told me she sometimes goes on dates with different guys nearly every day so that she could have nice meals paid for by the guys.
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If guys are dumb enough to take a girl to a nice restaurant (or restaurant at all, for that matter) on a first date, it's on them.

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metallica846 posted...

I don't meet ladies online, but the first dates I have been on, we split the check.

Thats bc youre cheap.
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The Admiral posted...

If guys are dumb enough to take a girl to a nice restaurant (or restaurant at all, for that matter) on a first date, it's on them.

The Admiral! Nice to see you back.
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Chivalry trumps gender equality for self interest.

But in all honesty I never minded this. Taking someone for a meal is a relatively cheap way to learn a lot about someone and whether they have long term potential. And I also like to be a gentleman.

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I thought the "guy pays for everything" trend has ended?

Lyrica posted...

I thought the "guy pays for everything" trend has ended?

It's "ended" insofar as 30% of guys under 30 aren't going on dates or having sex anymore in an average year.

But for people who are still active in the dating scene, it's standard practice.

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Lyrica posted...

I thought the "guy pays for everything" trend has ended?

Depends where and who etc. I had an ex who insisted on going Dutch but then it meant we always went either to cheap places or for things which I know she probably shouldnt be spending on. I suspect she did this because I told her the previous girl I had dated wanted me to pay for everything and never offered and I found that a bit annoying as I didnt earn that much.

Funny how my stance on this changed over time as I got older, more experienced and also had a better paying job such that I didnt care so much about sweating the small things.

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bunp
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if the guy gets something at the end of the date then its not bad
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Lyrica posted...

I thought the "guy pays for everything" trend has ended?

It definitely has, lol. I pay for both most of the time tbf

With more women in the workforce, more people can afford to at least go Dutch on dates
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The Admiral posted...

Lyrica posted...

I thought the "guy pays for everything" trend has ended?

It's "ended" insofar as 30% of guys under 30 aren't going on dates or having sex anymore in an average year.

But for people who are still active in the dating scene, it's standard practice.

Lmao. Such bullshit. I suppose youre paying for all the B-list supermodels and actresses that you date in between posting white supremacist conspiracy theories on a dying videogame forum.

As for the topic at hand, first date: person who asked can pay imo, after that split or take turns. Standard practice in my experience
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Chads have no problem paying
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ASithLord7 posted...

Lmao. Such bullshit. I suppose youre paying for all the B-list supermodels and actresses that you date in between posting white supremacist conspiracy theories on a dying videogame forum.

LOL. Your jealousy of me and disbelief that not everyone's dating prospects are as limited as yours will never cease to be amusing.

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The Admiral posted...

ASithLord7 posted...

Lmao. Such bullshit. I suppose youre paying for all the B-list supermodels and actresses that you date in between posting white supremacist conspiracy theories on a dying videogame forum.

LOL. Your jealousy of me and disbelief that not everyone's dating prospects are as limited as yours will never cease to be amusing.

Not a soul on this website believes your blatantly bullshit stories. Go get warned again for your neo-Nazi nonsense
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ASithLord7 posted...

Not a soul on this website believes your blatantly bullshit stories. Go get warned again for your neo-Nazi nonsense

Dude is seething so hard I could grill bacon on him.

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Basically, from what I've seen from women both online, talking to them in person, and actually going on dates. Women either fully expect you to pay OR even if they are willing and Ok with splitting, they like/appreciate/prefer if the man pays it all.

So basically, there is usually no benefit gained by not paying. Meaning, if you don't pay fully, you don't gain any favor with them. They either view it neutrally or negatively. If you do pay, they either view it neutrally or positively.

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Cant say Ive ever personally known any women who do this, but I dont doubt it.

When I was dating I always offered to pay, but most guys wouldnt let me. The only ones that agreed to split were other broke students like myself.

Cleo_II posted...

Cant say Ive ever personally known any women who do this,

If this article is even halfway accurate, chances are, you do.

https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2019/06/24/foodie-call-nearly-a-third-of-women-have-gone-on-dates-just-for-free-food-survey-finds/

Just want to throw out that even in one of their examples, it was more of a "meh, I've got nothing else to do, might as well go on this date, see if it goes anywhere, and if nothing else I get some free food out of it"

Not exactly the same thing as "I'm going on dates specifically for the free food". But still.

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Eh, that's on the guy honestly

I dont mind paying for a first date. I invited you out to dinner, seems right that I should pay for it. That said I dont go out to dinner with randoms off of dating apps
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do you have any idea how oppressed women are in America in the current year?
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This is why you should take your dates to Burger King
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The Admiral posted...

If guys are dumb enough to take a girl to a nice restaurant (or restaurant at all, for that matter) on a first date, it's on them.

This. Can't knock trick daddies. It's how they get laid or a hug
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This topic reminds me of a What Would You Do? episode. A guy and a gal are on a first date, guy says they're going to split the bill and heads to the bathroom. People nearby suggest the girl to bail and leave the guy with the bill. I wish I could find the episode. It was interesting how adamant they were that she shouldn't have to pay, both men and women. I think only one guy went against the others and said she should pay for her meal.

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smoke_break posted...

This topic reminds me of a What Would You Do? episode. A guy and a gal are on a first date, guy says they're going to split the bill and heads to the bathroom. People nearby suggest the girl to bail and leave the guy with the bill. I wish I could find the episode. It was interesting how adamant they were that she shouldn't have to pay, both men and women. I think only one guy went against the others and said she should pay for her meal.

I loved that show, do you still make new episodes?
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First date go to a bar

Agree to buy a round each

Guy just buys the first round as a token of good will/very subtle form of chivalry

There you go best of both worlds

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Solid Snake07 posted...

I dont mind paying for a first date. I invited you out to dinner, seems right that I should pay for it. That said I dont go out to dinner with randoms off of dating apps

agreed with this. Whoever invited the other out should be the one who pays on first date.

that being said I think if I were to do it all again, Im pretty sure I would still pay everything either because I want to, or the girl would expect me to given who I am. In the end it all balances out anyway if you get married with joint accounts and all.

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smoke_break posted...

This topic reminds me of a What Would You Do? episode. A guy and a gal are on a first date, guy says they're going to split the bill and heads to the bathroom. People nearby suggest the girl to bail and leave the guy with the bill. I wish I could find the episode. It was interesting how adamant they were that she shouldn't have to pay, both men and women. I think only one guy went against the others and said she should pay for her meal.

Well, if the guy picked the place, it's not fair that she should have to pay.

As a dude, if you're the one asking her out and controlling the venue for the date, make sure it's a place you can afford.

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First date should be a simple coffee date.
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Austin_Era_II posted...

First date should be a simple coffee date.

That doesn't sound like a date

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The Admiral posted...

Well, if the guy picked the place, it's not fair that she should have to pay.

As a dude, if you're the one asking her out and controlling the venue for the date, make sure it's a place you can afford.

Unless you are like the majority of millennials and ask the girl out then ask her where she wants to go

Like dude, you asked me now you want me to plan it? Wtf?

YookaLaylee posted...

Austin_Era_II posted...

First date should be a simple coffee date.

That doesn't sound like a date

to many underprivileged people trying to make ends meet, it is a date
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YookaLaylee posted...

Austin_Era_II posted...

First date should be a simple coffee date.

That doesn't sound like a date

Its not
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YookaLaylee posted...

Austin_Era_II posted...

First date should be a simple coffee date.

That doesn't sound like a date

It is. I'm in my 30s. First date would be a simple coffee. I don't waste time eating with a dumbass. My time is my money. If she ain't adding to my wealth I move on.
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Cleo_II posted...

Unless you are like the majority of millennials and ask the girl out then ask her where she wants to go

Like dude, you asked me now you want me to plan it? Wtf?

Couldn't agree with you more. Sad state of modern guys.

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metallica846 posted...

I don't meet ladies online, but the first dates I have been on, we split the check.

I'm strongly considering making this a requirement on the first several dates.

It's like women in this city either want a free meal, an ATM, or a sperm donor, with almost nothing in between.
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Women have had it easy in terms of dating. Get off your high horse. This isnt the fucking 70s. Pay your half on the first date. You fought for equal rights and work now too so pay up.
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Austin_Era_II posted...

It is. I'm in my 30s. First date would be a simple coffee. I don't waste time eating with a dumbass. My time is my money. If she ain't adding to my wealth I move on.

I feel a drink or two at a bar is a way better date atmosphere no?

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Ive been in rough spots where literally the only way I was eating was if guys were taking me out. During my off weeks from work if sometimes go on 2-3 dates a day if I could manage it. I never went out with anyone I had no interest in, however, and regardless of how rough off I was, if it was mentioned that they were wanting to go Dutch before ordering I always would (luckily it was pretty rare).
Im a firm believer of men paying for the first date though, and not just because it benefits me, but as a show of good faith. To make a good impression and prepare for a first date, I often put extra energy into what I wear and how I look, researching things weve talked about/I know hes interested in, and at a bare minimum make sure I engage socially (ie wont go out and spend my whole time looking bored/playing on my phone). I feel like my time and company is worth at least the price of dinner, considering how many horror stories Ive heard dudes talk about on dating apps and considering how many guys Ive been out with who had no social skills or common sense. If nothing else I will talk/entertain you for an hour, regardless of chemistry.
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Vol2tex posted...

I loved that show, do you still make new episodes?

Yep, they have a YouTube channel. I can't find the segment on there I was referring to though, think I might've seen it on Hulu.

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It just dawned on me that quite a few posters here are describing first dates with someone they dont know or just met eg online.

interesting.

Ive never dated online but I guess the two times my friends set me up with someone I still paid and drive them home.

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Daffadilio posted...

If nothing else I will talk/entertain you for an hour, regardless of chemistry.

Dude may as well just go to a strip club.
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gloBal enemy posted...

It just dawned on me that quite a few posters here are describing first dates with someone they dont know or just met eg online.

Yeah, this is true, but I think that's the scenario being described in the OP. I doubt a girl who you see everyday (co-worker, classmate) is going to agree to go out with a guy just for a free meal. That sounds like something that happens on app dates.

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Daffadilio posted...

Ive been in rough spots where literally the only way I was eating was if guys were taking me out. During my off weeks from work if sometimes go on 2-3 dates a day if I could manage it. I never went out with anyone I had no interest in, however, and regardless of how rough off I was, if it was mentioned that they were wanting to go Dutch before ordering I always would (luckily it was pretty rare).
Im a firm believer of men paying for the first date though, and not just because it benefits me, but as a show of good faith. To make a good impression and prepare for a first date, I often put extra energy into what I wear and how I look, researching things weve talked about/I know hes interested in, and at a bare minimum make sure I engage socially (ie wont go out and spend my whole time looking bored/playing on my phone). I feel like my time and company is worth at least the price of dinner, considering how many horror stories Ive heard dudes talk about on dating apps and considering how many guys Ive been out with who had no social skills or common sense. If nothing else I will talk/entertain you for an hour, regardless of chemistry.

I 100% agree with this.
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^
I really hope youre not offended by this but that sounds more like an escort service than a date

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YookaLaylee posted...

^
I really hope youre not offended by this but that sounds more like an escort service than a date

Wasn't she a sex worker? I guess it's to be expected that she's so pragmatic about it. It's why I decided not to be a stripper even though I was tempted. The money may have been good, but I'd hate to see all the worst of people and to learn to see myself as a commodity.
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