Board 8 > Moving to San Francisco

(+) Yeah! (+)

Pretty damn cool. Got another paralegal job up there and it's the best way to top of what was the most horrible month of my life I would wish on nobody!

It was a month long process to get this job, topping it off with a fly out there wherein most things went wrong (Fuck American Airlines). But everything finally worked out except for the massive amount of debt I now have even prior to moving out to San Francisco, but hey! Everything can't be perfect, right?

I mean, I'll be away from Pittsburgh and in San Francisco. So things have to be better.
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Pittsburgh to San Fransisco is gonna be a huge jump in cost of living.

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Good luck finding affordable housing
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what firm?
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SF is the most expensive city in the country, and judging by your first post, it seems that a "massive amount of debt" is a concern in your life, so I hope you've prepared for the cost of living there.

That said, I don't want to signal too much doom and gloom, so congrats!
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Cool place if you are rich and have enough money to get away from and not worry about all the...stuff.
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Snrkiko posted...

what firm?

Conn Maciel Carey LLP. Small firm but they do a ton of work in a specialized area of OSHA law and they're planning on expanding.

And I am very much aware of the cost of living and am preparing accordingly. The tl;dr on my financial situation is that my ex girlfriend got completely wasted and physically abused me for almost an hour as I tried to get away and when I did she jumped on the hood of my car and then when she was away from me I tried to drive away and she chased after my car and tripped and got her leg run over unbeknownst to me until after it happened and I spent 15 hours in jail. And now I'm drowning in attorney costs and the cost of breaking a lease.

Oh and the only way out of going to trial and potentially being imprisoned is by taking abuse classes despite the fact that I have never touched or abused her in any way and she actively mentally and emotionally abused and manipulated me and also physically abused me the night she got absolutely hammered.

But hey I'm going to San Francisco!!!
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Conn Maciel Carey LLP. Small firm but they do a ton of work in a specialized area of OSHA law and they're planning on expanding.

And I am very much aware of the cost of living and am preparing accordingly. The tl;dr on my financial situation is that my ex girlfriend got completely wasted and physically abused me for almost an hour as I tried to get away and when I did she jumped on the hood of my car and then when she was away from me I tried to drive away and she chased after my car and tripped and got her leg run over unbeknownst to me until after it happened and I spent 15 hours in jail. And now I'm drowning in attorney costs and the cost of breaking a lease.

Oh and the only way out of going to trial and potentially being imprisoned is by taking abuse classes despite the fact that I have never touched or abused her in any way and she actively mentally and emotionally abused and manipulated me and also physically abused me the night she got absolutely hammered.

But hey I'm going to San Francisco!!!

#BelieveAllWomen

*rolls eyes*

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

And I am very much aware of the cost of living and am preparing accordingly

How, unless you found the 1 paralegal job that pays 3 times as much as the average

Get some therapeutic help ASAP, it sounds like it would help a lot (and I guarantee all the therapists in SF are taken already)
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Holy shit dude I'm so sorry about that. What a terrible situation.
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Waluigi1 posted...

Holy shit dude I'm so sorry about that. What a terrible situation.

Thanks. I appreciate that. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It was absolutely painful in the hearing.

She was apparently lying to her family about what went on so her mother was trying to get her to bury me in the ground. And then the cop told her that she can't change her story at all without getting in serious trouble. So she almost sold me out to not look like a crazy asshole that gets drunk and jumps on people's cars.

There's a lot more to everything, but I tried breaking up with her on the basis that she was emotionally abusive and manipulative and she doubled down on it to the point that she actively locked herself in the bathroom and tried to convince me she was killing herself. I have her a second chance because I wanted to try to end things on a better note, and also because she again threatened to kill herself and also break and steal my things.

But San Francisco y'all!!!!
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I have her a second chance because I wanted to try to end things on a better note

Never do this for abusive people

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MZero11 posted...

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I have her a second chance because I wanted to try to end things on a better note

Never do this for abusive people

Well. I hadn't planned on it until she told me she was going to kill herself and that she was going to break and steal my things when I was gone.

For the three hours she was acting like a maniac after trying to break up with her, I had stayed the course.

In hindsight, I should not have accepted after that either. I should have done a lot of things in hindsight like call the police and say "Hey, my girlfriend got absolutely wasted, began clawing and wrapping the entirety of her body around me so I couldn't leave for almost an hour and now she's laying on the hood of my car so I can't move." But then she would have probably fucked her life up because she's in teaching and just got a new job. Silly me for thinking of her.
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well heck that is all rough so I hope that goes better for you!

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Seriously go to a real therapist, not b8
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don't step in poop

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just don't accidentally say "break leg" when you mean to say "break up" in court.

just passing down my wisdom
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First of all, Board 8 is hardly the only place I've discussed this with. I have supportive family and friends who I have discussed this at length about.

Secondly, the fact you are so adamantly telling me I need to be seeing a therapist over this is rather presumptuous. I'm actually doing well, all things considered. As I said, I have a good support group, and even the people closest to me who advocate for mental health a lot say at most I should probably go for a check up just to make sure, which I may. This was a month ago she did this, and our relationship had been on a steep decline for a month prior to that.

So thanks, foolmo, but I'm in a good place right now concerning her. I know my value and I haven't let her or this situation tear me down.
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Fucked up situation. I hope you're able to make a clean break.
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neonreaper posted...

just don't accidentally say "break leg" when you mean to say "break up" in court.

just passing down my wisdom

Lol Thanks buddy.

Fortunately everyone at the hearing knew that I was being screwed over here. They continued the hearing, because they knew how much it would fuck my life up with the impending move, and so I could just take these abuser classes by the time the time it comes around so they can justify dropping the charges.

Since it's a felony (aggravated assault with a vehicle) and there were two idiot witnesses who claimed I was driving with her on the hood of my car like I'm some kind of lunatic, which I 1000% didn't, and then the cameras in the parking lot were broken for weeks prior to this, so that also screwed me over here.

Oh, and she told my sister, a nurse practitioner, that her leg was broken, which she immediately called out as bullshit, and she was walking perfectly fine at the hearing. Not so much as a limp. And when she got her leg run over, I looked in the rearview mirror and she was already standing up immediately like the Terminator.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Secondly, the fact you are so adamantly telling me I need to be seeing a therapist over this is rather presumptuous.

No, I would advocate any victim of that kind of abuse to do so. Even the most stubborn tough guy in the world would agree that facing suicide threats is probably one of the few things that's worth a bit of therapy.

But yeah, listen to your support group obviously. I just wanted to make sure you heard it from b8 also.
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I once had a girl I was dating get wasted, hit me a bunch as I threw her out of my place, and then she threw a rock through the window of my bedroom. I was going to call the cops if she didn't leave but tbh I was afraid she would say some lies and it would blow back on me. When I broke up with her, her mom called me (sweetest woman ever) to ask me to keep dating her, because she was fearful that my ex would do something crazy, to me or herself. I did because, you know, love is dumb, and it took I think two weeks for her to get fired from her job for drinking and lie to me about it. Once I found out, done for good.

fast forward some time and she's healthy, married, and one of my best friends!

but man she was fucking nuts

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San Francisco or near San Francisco? I live in Berkeley if you want to grab a beer sometime
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Well. I hadn't planned on it until she told me she was going to kill herself and that she was going to break and steal my things when I was gone.

For the three hours she was acting like a maniac after trying to break up with her, I had stayed the course.

In hindsight, I should not have accepted after that either. I should have done a lot of things in hindsight like call the police and say "Hey, my girlfriend got absolutely wasted, began clawing and wrapping the entirety of her body around me so I couldn't leave for almost an hour and now she's laying on the hood of my car so I can't move." But then she would have probably fucked her life up because she's in teaching and just got a new job. Silly me for thinking of her.

My fiancee did something similar tbqh. She only had a couple of beers but the way it interacted with her depression medicine she just started was insane.

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Aecioo posted...

I once had a girl I was dating get wasted, hit me a bunch as I threw her out of my place, and then she threw a rock through the window of my bedroom. I was going to call the cops if she didn't leave but tbh I was afraid she would say some lies and it would blow back on me. When I broke up with her, her mom called me (sweetest woman ever) to ask me to keep dating her, because she was fearful that my ex would do something crazy, to me or herself. I did because, you know, love is dumb, and it took I think two weeks for her to get fired from her job for drinking and lie to me about it. Once I found out, done for good.

fast forward some time and she's healthy, married, and one of my best friends!

but man she was fucking nuts

Yeesh man. Sorry you went through that. I wanted to give her a second chance too because I was afraid what she would do and... Well, her second chance landed me in jail.

VintageGin posted...

San Francisco or near San Francisco? I live in Berkeley if you want to grab a beer sometime

I'll be working in San Fran! Hoping to move into the East Bay though.

Corrik7 posted...

My fiancee did something similar tbqh. She only had a couple of beers but the way it interacted with her depression medicine she just started was insane.

She's been on medication before, but she's been off for a while. She was doing CBD tinctures for a while for all the good that may or may not have done.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I'll be working in San Fran! Hoping to move into the East Bay though

Nice! East Bay is the best part of the bay.
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Started my drive.

https://imgur.com/tUmm7Ze
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Eat at in and out every day

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Wait, so you're driving here and you don't have a place yet? Where are you gonna stay?

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Wait, youre driving from Pittsburg to San Francisco with no living situation lined up?
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Might want to bring a few N95 masks with you

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A friend is letting me stay with them until I find a place!
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Fuck Iowa. 2.5 inches of snow on my car this morning.
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At least you'll get to trade each of those inches for $1000 in rent
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In Omaha, Nebraska!
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About to get Wyoming'd.
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Uh oh, I think he did get Wyoming'd

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So if this friend casts you out your totes screwed. Hope it's a good friend!

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I think that in CA its hard to get rid of someone if you ever invite them in
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neonreaper posted...

I think that in CA its hard to get rid of someone if you ever invite them in

Not everyone is trying to squat if unwelcomed.

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I didn't get Wyoming'd and I made it just fine! Currently at my friend's place and searching for a place to stay!
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I wouldn't live in san Francisco its horrible

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I didn't get Wyoming'd and I made it just fine! Currently at my friend's place and searching for a place to stay!

Nice. Welcome to the bay area.

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Got a room in Hayward right across the street from the giant CostCo for $950 a month, utilities included.

Things are working out pretty well tbh. I even had to tell her about my horrible, awful legal situation before the background check and she understood and was fine with it.

So everything is working out perfectly!
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Got a room in Hayward right across the street from the giant CostCo for $950 a month, utilities included.

x.x

Good luck, dude.

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You're gonna commute from Hayward to SF? Oof

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Ouch at the commute, though I guess youll be saving a pretty significant amount of money at least!

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VintageGin posted...

You're gonna commute from Hayward to SF? Oof

Well, I'm gonna Bart there. Haha

I guess I could have tried to live in any shitty part of Oakland I tried driving to.
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I am a little over 4 hours south of SF, in Santa Maria.
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SwiftyDC posted...

I am a little over 4 hours south of SF, in Santa Maria.

wait no shit

i was in santa maria for work last Thursday

the drive up from orange county sucks balls
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