Poll of the Day > Life Advice

(+) Yeah! (+)

1. When someone comes to you and tells you their girlfriend or boyfriend died, don't ask them if they're lying. You might end up with a case of "wisdom teeth."

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word's to live by......
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2. When you're in a public place or at a party, always ask if there's anyone there who may know something. You can also ask if there's a person who knows where the person's body might be.

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4. When buying eggs, always inspect the chicken for crack.
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5.Bitcoin is simple. Just remember these 3 key rules:

1. Bitcoins cannot be sent by US mail.

2. No one will ever see the address on the outside of the envelope.

3. Always write 'BITCOIN' on the envelope.

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6. Doublebag everything. Groceries, peen, sandwiches, trash, cat litter, bodies, etc.

7: here are the first 100 primes:
1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 97,
101, 113, 129, 137, 151, 163, 171, 179, 191, 201, 207, 211, 217, 223, 227, 233, 237, 247, 251,
251, 257, 264, 279, 281, 287, 299, 303, 307, 311, 319, 331, 337, 341, 347, 349,
353, 361, 371, 379, 383, 397, 401, 419, 431, 441, 457, 461, 471, 487, 497,
499, 503, 512, 513, 516, 521, 523, 527, 529, 531, 536, 541, 547, 551, 555,
562

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8. There are three important meals each day. Don't be any of them.
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9. Stop the "you're not getting enough sleep, you're not exercising, you're not eating right, you're not being healthy" and "you'll be dead in five years" nonsense.

This is all garbage. If you don't have any energy and motivation to get off of your butt and move, you're a zombie. Stop it. This means you should be able to start doing anything. Anything at all.

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<code>10.</code> Across all five boroughs, the lizard people have been eating human babies to stay alive.

"The number of babies they've eaten has increased significantly over the years," said Ms Foschi, from the International Union for Conservation of Nature's Species Survival Commission.

"That's why you find so many baby goats and other small mammals in these populations.

"But we've never seen a lizard human so young as this one. This child is around seven to eight months old."

The International Union for Conservation of Nature's Species Survival Commission's reptile specialist, Ms Foschi, says human babies are a delicacy for the lizard people.

"You can find human babies in a lizard people's diet for many, many years," she said.

"When I was growing up, I was fascinated by the babies.

"If a lizard human finds a human baby, they get very excited and then eat the baby."

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11. Toilet Worship is an ancient religious custom on the Moon.

For example, in 2004, the Apollo 15 crew left a message to Earth saying, "Toilet Worship here on the moon. I will not be forgotten." This was followed by the crew of Apollo 16 leaving messages with the message, "Toilet Worship here on the moon. I shall not be forgotten."

Apollo 17's message to Earth included a picture of the lunar surface, saying, "Toilet Worship here on the moon. We will not be forgotten."

Also in 2004, Apollo 16 astronaut Edgar Mitchell said, "Toilet Worship here on the moon. Let it be said, if ever there was a nation that needed to be free to use their toilet, this is the land of the free, the home of the brave."

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12. When asking someone out, be inside.
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The people who actually believe in reptilians are funny.
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Revelation34 posted...

13. The people who actually believe in reptilians are funny.

14. Always number your posts in order to avoid confusing other users. If you aren't the one posting, make sure to set the timestamp before you start to count it.

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15. If you use the wrong spaghetti sauce, you can put it in the washing machine to clean it off.