Current Events > JRPG logic

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DevsBro
11/16/19 4:30:59 PM
#1:


Under 15 = literal baby
Over 20 = ancient geezer

Good guys only have first names
Bad guys only have last names

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DevsBro
11/16/19 4:32:29 PM
#2:


*picks enemy up, turns them upside down, slams head into ground*
MISS

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Unknown5uspect
11/16/19 4:33:43 PM
#3:


DevsBro posted...
*picks enemy up, turns them upside down, slams head into ground*
MISS

But if you do it to a train, you can kill it.
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Gakk86
11/16/19 4:36:20 PM
#4:


A 6 inch tall rock is an impassable obstacle
1 weak soldier standing in front of a door when you've already killed literal deities means you'll never get through
The harder you pull the trigger of a gun the more damage you do with it
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sauceje
11/16/19 4:41:37 PM
#5:


the thing with the young/old people might make sense in a fictional world where life expectancy is shorter than we're used to
my favorite is when you use excessive force to kill something and it just falls over

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He was born in a coop, raised in a cage, children fear him, critics rage,
He's half alive, he's half dead, folks just call him Buckethead
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PowerOats
11/16/19 4:52:14 PM
#6:


Apparently old, run-down shops have enough money to give you a millions of $ in refunds should you decide to sell them stuff
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HylianFox
11/16/19 4:54:35 PM
#7:


*stabs monster in the face with massive sword*
12 damage

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TheDreadedWave
11/16/19 4:54:55 PM
#8:


For women the less clothes or armor you're wearing the better you're protected.

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"I am Ferdinand Von Aegir" - Ferdinand Von Aegir
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HylianFox
11/16/19 4:55:18 PM
#9:


PowerOats posted...
Apparently old, run-down shops have enough money to give you a millions of $ in refunds should you decide to sell them stuff
and they'e in the middle of nowhere and you're literally the only potential customer in the entire world

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Don't be a turd. - Chris Pratt
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HylianFox
11/16/19 4:56:15 PM
#10:


TheDreadedWave posted...
For women the less clothes or armor you're wearing the better you're protected.


---
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FUH-LAMING! - Homer Simpson
Don't be a turd. - Chris Pratt
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YugiNoob
11/16/19 4:57:19 PM
#11:


Hey Im gonna wipe out all life on the planet because Im a psychotic power-hungry god.

...But Ill just wait here patiently until you decide what attack to use on me.
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LadyVyxx
11/16/19 4:58:34 PM
#12:


Thank you all for reminding me why I gave up playing most jrpgs
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PatrickMahomes
11/16/19 5:07:54 PM
#13:


beat someone in battle
they beat you in the following cutscene

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My knee feels better
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TheDreadedWave
11/16/19 5:15:28 PM
#14:


The least interesting girl in the game is the main love interest

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"I am Ferdinand Von Aegir" - Ferdinand Von Aegir
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nevershine
11/16/19 5:44:46 PM
#15:


Literally walking into strangers houses and taking their stuff.

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HylianFox
11/16/19 5:52:39 PM
#16:


PatrickMahomes posted...
beat someone in battle
they beat you in the following cutscene


this is soooooo fucking stupid, I hate hate hate it

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I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FUH-LAMING! - Homer Simpson
Don't be a turd. - Chris Pratt
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HylianFox
11/16/19 5:54:34 PM
#17:


also

-party member has ridiculous abilities in battle
-never thinks to use them during cutscenes

---
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FUH-LAMING! - Homer Simpson
Don't be a turd. - Chris Pratt
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Cthulhu_Fhtagn
11/16/19 6:06:47 PM
#19:


Group of ten people on your team.
Only three will fight the world threatening villain while the others stand there

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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
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pfh1001
11/16/19 6:36:01 PM
#20:


TheDreadedWave posted...
The least interesting girl in the game is the main love interest


So often too true, especially in Final Fantasy games.
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konokonohamaru
11/16/19 6:37:24 PM
#21:


PatrickMahomes posted...
beat someone in battle
they beat you in the following cutscene

lol
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evil_zombie11
11/16/19 6:37:58 PM
#22:


Nani

Omae wa shinderu
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Yo wtf
Probably lifting or running...
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TheDreadedWave
11/17/19 1:45:52 AM
#23:


Cthulhu_Fhtagn posted...
Group of ten people on your team.
Only three will fight the world threatening villain while the others stand there
It's amazing because FF7 surprisingly subverted this with the Safer Sephiroth fight

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"I am Ferdinand Von Aegir" - Ferdinand Von Aegir
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SH_expert44
11/17/19 1:48:32 AM
#24:


I know youre the only hope of saving humanity, but i need to cut a profit. So im gonna charge you full price for even the most basic of items.
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DevsBro
11/17/19 7:01:37 AM
#25:


SH_expert44 posted...
I know youre the only hope of saving humanity, but i need to cut a profit. So im gonna charge you full price for even the most basic of items.
Completely different genre, but I loved in Ace Combat 5 where for the last couple of missions, they were like yeah, just take any plane, since, like, you're our only hope and stuff.

Guh now everything else I love about that game is flooding back into my memory. One of the very best games for the system yet it gets no attention whatsoever.

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SwayM
11/17/19 7:18:19 AM
#26:


HylianFox posted...
also

-party member has ridiculous abilities in battle
-never thinks to use them during cutscenes


This so goddamn true

Final fantasy has all these insane magics and summons that almost never get used outside of battle.

Phoenix downs are a simple item that you think would have a million and one uses but are never ever explained or shown outside of battle.

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Shotgunnova
11/17/19 7:19:49 AM
#27:


"I want a room for the night"
"That'll be 10 gil"
"Oh, I'm also Lv 97"
"In that case, it'll be 9700 gil"

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Take me down from the ridge where the summer ends
And watch the city spread out just like a jet's flame
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Oldin
11/17/19 7:48:38 AM
#28:


HylianFox posted...
Its imbued with magiccc

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Foppe
11/17/19 8:07:26 AM
#29:


>beats highlevel boss that decides to join your team afterward
>suddenly got much lower stats, health and level

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Ving_Rhames
11/17/19 8:09:33 AM
#30:


PatrickMahomes posted...
beat someone in battle
they beat you in the following cutscene


God this is the worst.

Also, stupidity for the sake of the plot in maximum abundance.
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Hexenherz
11/17/19 8:14:56 AM
#31:


nevershine posted...
Literally walking into strangers houses and taking their stuff.
I do this in WRPGs all the time >_>

In JRPGs you walk in and there's like a chest and you get a couple of potions out of it.
In WRPGs you steal all their forks and knives and underwear.

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Cthulhu_Fhtagn
11/17/19 11:16:24 AM
#32:


Yeah in the Witcher you can take everything that isn't nailed down

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DevsBro
11/17/19 11:23:25 AM
#33:


That really threw me off the first time I played Oblivion.

I went into a shop, and seeing that it was like stores in our world, I kept trying to pick stuff up and take it to the counter. I kept getting accused of theft. ._.

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Cthulhu_Fhtagn
11/17/19 12:11:15 PM
#34:


DevsBro posted...
That really threw me off the first time I played Oblivion.

I went into a shop, and seeing that it was like stores in our world, I kept trying to pick stuff up and take it to the counter. I kept getting accused of theft. ._.


That would be a cool way of doing it

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Foppe
11/17/19 12:12:27 PM
#35:


Put the items in a basket that you own, walk out carrying the basket, you got them for free.

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YugiNoob
11/17/19 9:25:03 PM
#36:


Dear God, I just noticed how the dong area for the DLC armor points up at such a steep angle <_<
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Bun bun :3
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Stagmar
11/17/19 9:45:09 PM
#37:


Foppe posted...
>beats highlevel boss that decides to join your team afterward
>suddenly got much lower stats, health and level
You would too if you had just been beaten to a bloody pulp.

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11/11/1572 -- Never Forget.
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Foppe
11/18/19 1:30:18 AM
#38:


Stagmar posted...
You would too if you had just been beaten to a bloody pulp.
So if I let a member of the team be defeated, they will delevel as well?

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DevsBro
11/18/19 1:44:06 AM
#39:


Foppe posted...
So if I let a member of the team be defeated, they will delevel as well?
Of course not. They're party members--different rules apply. Just like how your new comrade you just defeated will no longer develed upon defeat after joining your party.

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WilliamPorygon
11/18/19 1:53:19 AM
#40:


*can carry infinite different types of items at once*
*can only carry 10 of the same item at once*

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Amenadeel
11/19/19 11:07:36 PM
#41:


Foppe posted...
>beats highlevel boss that decides to join your team afterward
>suddenly got much lower stats, health and level

It was the power of darkness/evil that made them so strong. Sort of like a majin vegeta or such.
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Manocheese
11/19/19 11:11:20 PM
#42:


https://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html
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DevsBro
11/19/19 11:14:14 PM
#43:


Manocheese posted...
https://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html
That's where I got the good guy/bad guy name thing from. It's kind of impressive how accurate that is.

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MagnusDJL
11/19/19 11:22:26 PM
#44:


>emotional, sad cutscene plays where you have to murder somebody that is an enemy now but was once dear to you
>*upbeat jingle plays* OH YEAH I LEVELED UP! :D

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Amenadeel
11/22/19 2:00:30 AM
#45:


DevsBro posted...
Manocheese posted...
https://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html
That's where I got the good guy/bad guy name thing from. It's kind of impressive how accurate that is.

I have literally no idea what you or that list are talking about, can you post examples of this name thing please?
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HylianFox
11/22/19 2:14:13 AM
#46:


that armor meme wasn't THAT offensive, come on
>__>

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I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FUH-LAMING! - Homer Simpson
Don't be a turd. - Chris Pratt
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Cookie Bag
11/22/19 2:21:28 AM
#47:


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DevsBro
11/22/19 9:08:14 AM
#48:


Amenadeel posted...
I have literally no idea what you or that list are talking about, can you post examples of this name thing please?
The names they generally go by tend to feel more firsty if they're good guys and lasty if they're bad guys. Even if they do have the other name too, nobody ever brings it up except the game manual (Barrett Wallace).

Skies of Arcadia:
Vyse, Aika, Fina; Galcian, Ramirez

FF6:
Terra, Edgar, Celes; Kefka, Gestahl

FF4:
Cecil, Edward, Rosa; Golbez

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Umbreon
11/22/19 9:36:24 AM
#49:


*Effortlessly defeats literal armies*

*Three or four guards try to arrest you in a cutscene*
"There too many of them!"
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Solar_Crimson
11/22/19 11:48:58 AM
#50:


A pair of fans is stronger than nearly every other weapon in the game, which include actual legendary swords and such.

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Questionmarktarius
11/22/19 11:57:04 AM
#51:


YugiNoob posted...
Hey Im gonna wipe out all life on the planet because Im a psychotic power-hungry god.

...But Ill just wait here patiently until you decide what attack to use on me.

Evil Whitehair blows up the entire solar system.
Party tanks the damage.
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