Board 8 > in this topic I will maybe rank the Stardew Valley characters

(+) Yeah! (+)

if people are interested, I will do it

if not... I guess I will let this topic die in obscurity.

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MariaTaylor posted...

die in obscurity.

better than surrendering I guess

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Sure

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Yes, I'm interested.

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I am incredibly interested.

Incidentally I would like to play Stardew multiplayer with people.

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tag

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Forceful_Dragon posted...

I am incredibly interested.

Incidentally I would like to play Stardew multiplayer with people.

Strangely enough, same. To both parts.
Are you playing on PC or a console?
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I own it on PC and PS4 and Switch, take your pick.

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I play on PS4 and have yet to do a successful YoyoMart run, despite beating the game several times going the other way. I don't know how well I could reallyyy commit to a multiplayer farm though, since I'm not the type who honestly plays video games all that often, or on a set schedule.

feel free to PM me your PSN id and potentially try to set up a time to play, though. it's not impossible that we might get the chance to do so.

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alright so for this ranking I just went ahead and used the wiki, got all of the characters from there, and added a few extra characters and removed two characters. considering how many extra/minor characters there are, it's a near certainty that I have forgotten some of them. others -- I chose not to include because I had less to say about them or no real opinion.

In total I'll be ranking 43 characters.

-43-


Clint

Honestly, I'm not sure who else it could have been. Before I cut some of the non-characters, and a few of the extras that I added and then took away once I started ranking, he might have been a little higher. Cliff is by no stretch of the imagination a terrible character. In fact he serves as a great example of one of the things that I love about Stardew Valley. ConcernedApe is incredibly gifted at using simple portrayals to convey very complex, good characters who are more realistic and flawed than characters in MANY similar games.

The issue with Clint is that his very realistic flaw is that he's an obnoxious incel. This might sound like a bit of a harsh criticism, since some people think Clint is just a shy, sweet guy. But bear with me... because I have married Emily before and let me just say 'yikes.'

When you get her heart level high enough Emily will tell you that Clint doesn't talk to her anymore and seems distant toward her.

While you are dating Emily, Clint will still send you letters and ask you for help trying to win her affection. I'm not 100% sure if he continues to do this after you are married but I honestly wouldn't be surprised.

He just comes across as a total creep in any playthrough where you're trying to romance Emily, and it's really hard to shake that image of him out of your mind after you see it. To conclude, I think he's a pretty great 'character.' I think people like him actually exist, and this portrayal of him is done really well without coming across like a shallow trope. I also find the creep to be pretty annoying, which I think is totally fair and warranted. Him being shy and having no confidence is no excuse to act the way that he does. And unlike some higher entries on this list he never makes any attempt to better himself. He just continues to wallow in self pity for 200 years if you play for that long.

-42-


Pam

I won't have as much to say about Pam just because a lot of what I said to Clint is very similar to how I feel about her. Is she realistic? Do people like her really exist? Did ConcernedApe do a really good job of portraying her characterization through a relatively simple medium, and in a way that makes her feel like more than just a trope? Yes to all.

Is she responsible for making Penny's life fucking miserable?

Yes, but not entirely. While Clint actively acts like a creep, I feel like Pam is slightly less responsible for the harm she causes to others. Penny's father, wherever he is, is somewhat responsible for the situation that Pam is in. And while she is a victim of some of her own poor choices, she is also a victim of circumstances to some extent as well. I actually do feel a bit of pity for Pam. And I do actually feel good for her when she gets her job back driving the bus.

Unlike Clint, she actually makes some attempt to better herself. Although really she hits the bare minimum.


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- 41 -


Governer

This is the point where I look at the Pam and the Cliff write up, and I kinda wish I had cut more of the non-characters. Because honestly there is so much less, and less interesting stuff to say about the Governer. Still, he's a decent guy who shows up every so often and doesn't act like a creep. Not much to say about him beyond that.

- 40 -


Marlon

Probably a somewhat controversial placement, since I'm sure Marlon has at least a few fans, but hear me out. Marlon's placement, for me, is solely dependent on the fact that he feels fairly redundant. I think Gil is a much more awesome character concept and design. While Marlon does have the benefit that he shows up at festivals and has a few lines, he gives you your first sword, but... he's not all that interesting to me.

Honestly if they had given those scenes to Gil, and had one dude in the adventurer guild, Gil would be placed much higher on the list. And Marlon wouldn't be so low... because he wouldn't exist!

This is probably one of the most subjective rankings on my entire list. If you happen to like Marlon's design and concept more you could easily swap his place with Gil and say the exact same things about Gil.

- 39 -


Morris

Yes, really, those guys ranked lower than Morris. Honestly, Morris is 'sort of' a dick but nowhere near as bad as some people give him credit for. Probably his worst quality is that he doesn't have many scenes or lines outside of his big scenes. He does come across as needlessly petty and antagonistic at times, but I don't think his character entirely revolves around this. Aside from that there's really only a few of his behaviors you can really take issue with.

1 He has a rivalry with Pierre. Yeah, Pierre is honestly about just as much of a dick as Morris. On top of that, Morris is at least offering affordable items to the community members who have less money.

2 He wants to tear down the community center that no one uses and replace it with a warehouse for his company. I understand in video game logic that he is presented to us as the villain but... really. No one was using the community center. Like, for a really long time. Like, it had completely fallen into disrepair. In real life, barely anyone would give a shit about YoyoMart doing this.

3 YoyoMart is evil. Okay, you've got me there.

But really his low ranking is more dependent on him lacking scenes and not having as much depth as the higher ranking characters. I don't actually consider him all of that different from the next half dozen characters.... though I did use him as a metric often while I was ranking. "Okay, sure, he's boring but is he as bad as Morris" is a thought that popped into my head a lot.

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You hit the nail on the head with Clint. Hes well-written and also I hate him.

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yeah Clint kinda sucks


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I would probably put Clint higher out of empathy for him, but I can understand that he isn't really making an effort to change his situation for the better. There is that one event where he gives you a stone to give to Emily. He was trying with that one at least even if it didn't work out.

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Forceful_Dragon posted...

I would probably put Clint higher out of empathy for him, but I can understand that he isn't really making an effort to change his situation for the better. There is that one event where he gives you a stone to give to Emily. He was trying with that one at least even if it didn't work out.

I think I'd agree with this. Also with Maria's Pam write-up, though I assume that's pretty uncontroversial.

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Part of the awkwardness in Clint's interactions is that Emily wasn't initially dateable and they didn't change his interactions whatsoever when she became dateable.

While he may be pathetic, he doesn't blame anyone else for his shortcomings but himself as opposed to a self-proclaimed "incel".

Of course none of that really makes him better enough to be better than almost anyone else. Pam is a much better written "terrible" character. Morris is basically as much of a straight villain as the game gets. Most everyone else is just obviously better.

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just had a scare where I opened my file where I ranked everything. for some reason I entered like 100 blank spaces after 'stardew valley rankings' and before the first entry on the list... so I thought that I had somehow deleted it and was like 'fuck that, not ranking all of them again.'

thankfully it was just a result of me mashing the enter button a bunch of times every time I moved a character up or down on the list.

- 38 -


Alex

Down goes the first bachelor. The guy is kinda full of himself, and while he does sort of apologize in some later scenes and claim to change... he continues to be pretty self centered. I have had for a while now a good ranking in my head of which spouses behave more or less selfish after you marry them, and this guy was always near the absolute bottom.

Funny enough, the new 14 heart events mostly lined up in level of selfishness along with how I felt about each of the characters. So I don't think I was too far off the mark.

Alex's new event is, almost certainly the most selfish one. He asks you to help him make a 'gift,' then uses it to buy himself a TV that he can install at the saloon so he can go hang out with the guys. Uh, okay then. I don't think I need to explain why him doing the classic trope of hanging out with the guys and ignoring his spouse is a bad thing, and him calling it a gift is laughable.

But it gets worse.

In the same scene where you meet them at the saloon for the first time he literally talks about how much he regrets not being a professional gridball player, but being married to you is still nice. Yeesh. That is like one of the least romantic things I have ever heard that was actually trying to be romantic.

So to summarize:
Offers you a gift.
The gift is actually for himself and his friends.
The gift is him finding something to do that he can use as an excuse to get away from you.
He spends the time thinking about how he wishes he could've been a pro gridball player instead.
Oh, but uh, being married to you is fine I guess.

Easily the worst marriage candidate. The big thing that sets Alex apart from Pam or Clint is that you can still be friends with him and not be on the receiving end of his bad behavior. You just need to not date him, and you wouldn't want any of your friends to date him, and he's not a terrible guy.

- 37 -


Evelyn

Alex's grandmother ranks closely to him for totally different reasons. Let's face it, of all the 'she's boring and I had nothing to say' characters she is the most boring. That's about it. She sends you cookies sometimes, which is cool, but most of the time they just end up occupying space in one of my item chests and causing more clutter. And like almost every line of seasonal dialogue she has is about cookies. Get a god damn personality, lady.

Some of her lines about her and George at the festivals when they were younger are kinda interesting though, I will give her that.

- 36 -


Elliot

And down goes another bachelor. Yeahh.... it's no secret that ConcernedApe is a bit better at making the female marriage candidates more appealing than the male ones.

This guy is annoying to find and befriend. He doesn't have any immediately obvious gifts that you can easily pick up off of the ground to give to him, except shells, which don't always spawn. He wanders off to weird, specific locations at times that aren't always easy to remember -- and normally you have to go out of your way to go and look for him. And early on in year 1 are you really wasting space in your rucksack carrying around shells just in case you run into Elliot? Usually not.

Now there is a character with similar behavior who did place higher on the list, so this alone doesn't damn him. But I don't think his design is too appealing, and ConcernedApe seemed to intentionally make Elliot come across as kinda flighty and dumb. He's like the male equivalent of a ditz, and his appearance is similar to those male romance novel leads that I don't find attractive at all. Combined with the fact that it's difficult to get to know him better and it's understandable that even after multiple playthroughs I don't know THAT much about him.

I used to REGULARLY forget his name (along with some of the other bachelors, but this is a problem we'll get into later) and be like 'wait, which one was Elliot again?' I think part of the reason is because to me he actually looks like more of a Sebastian than the actual Sebastian.

Now for anyone who actually likes, or even loves Elliot... Trust me, I get it. I really do. You probably like his design more, and I don't doubt that he's more interesting if you actually go through the trouble of seeing all of his dialogue and heart events from first meeting to marriage. But keep in mind the only character on this list that I dislike is Clint and MAYBE Alex. I just happen to like the upcoming characters more than I like Elliot.

I will also admit that him being stupid is kinda goofy and amusing at times, and I actually ended up changing his ranking when I thought more about this.

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I agree with everything you've said about both Bachelors.

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That Evelyn picture is great.

Going to withhold commenting on the bachelors for now as I've literally never gotten married in Stardew.

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oh yeah the number 1 thing that pisses me off about Alex is that he constantly offers to play catch with me, but will never actually play catch with me.

get on this ConcernedApe

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Stardew's bachelors are really lacking. It's why I always play Lesbian.

- 35 -


Vincent

Alright, I'm gonna try to get this batch out of the way pretty quickly. There's a couple of characters, like the child characters, who don't particularly have any great scenes or lines, or many scenes or lines at all, but they still play a very vital role of adding depth to the world. Opposite of someone like Marlon, where you could remove him and Gil could run the adventurer's guild alone, you can't really remove the fact that Jodi is raising two boys.

I rate Vincent on the lower end of this group because it's annoying to find decent gifts for him. He likes some stuff you can pick up off the ground, but not just anything. He has specific tastes. And unlike most villagers, who can be won over by giving them 'anything you grow on the farm' he doesn't really like most of the crops you can grow because ew vegetables gross. He shares this trait with Jas. It gets a bit easier in Fall since Vincent really likes Grapes and those are easy to find.

Don't have anything else to say about Vincent.

- 34 -


Kent

There is a LOT of cool stuff to say about Kent, so let's start with the positive. A character who isn't in the village immediately but joins in the second year is pretty cool. His reason for being away is interesting, and it provides for the dynamic of Jodi being almost essentially a "single mother" when you first meet her. When Kent returns, it 'probably' makes things easier for the family as a whole, and while it's hard to say this FOR SURE there are daily routines where Kent actually spends time with Vincent so it's clear he's at least helping watch the kids sometimes.

I also think he has a pretty good track record of showing shitty behavior in some of his scenes, but also apologizing for it pretty easily -- especially so if the player tells him that he's in the wrong. His behavior isn't really super shitty and his apologies are pretty sincere, a solid combination in the world of stardew valley where a LOT of the characters are intentionally written to be flawed.

Okay, the bad. The guy is boring and doesn't have many lines that don't feel generic. And I mean, really generic. Hey it's a good day for fishing. Hey how are you doing today. The idea of having a new person around for the second year of festivals is REALLY cool, but you talk to him and... holy crap. His festival dialogue might be among some of the worst of any character in the game. He 90% of the time he just makes a really generic statement that doesn't even acknowledge whether he's at the festival or not, or what's going on around him. Cool idea, but it really comes across like ConcernedApe worked on Kent last, ran out of time on him, and just never went back to add more depth to a lot of his stand in lines.

The guy is so boring that there's almost no fan art of him that I could find. People just do not give a shit about Kent.

- 33 -


Jas

Jas is very similar to Vincent. She's a child character, not many lines, not many scenes that focus on her. She has a more interesting family dynamic with Shane and Marnie. Most important is that common trait I mentioned about them where they don't like the crops you grow on your farm. However... Jas likes most of the flowers you can grow, I think all of them, and she also loves the Fairy Rose.

Since I normally am growing flowers for the sake of producing Honey anyway, it's much easier to befriend Jas than Vince.

Credit to SuchiOv on deviant art for the Jasmine and Vincent arts. Normally I just grab random unsourced stuff from google, but since I ended up picking multiple art pieces from the same person I figure I'd look them up and give them a shout out. Especially if anyone saw these and was wondering who drew them.


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- 32 -


Lewis

Another sort of non-character. Despite being the guy who introduces you to Pelican Town, Mayor Lewis does and says surprisingly little. It's almost baffling how a guy at the center of nearly every festival has such little personality compared to some of the other characters. There are some comical aspects about him, like him losing his shorts and all the various ways you can torment him (like putting them on display at the fair).

I also need to use Lewis as my punching bag for the Community Center since he is the one who introduces it to you and kickstarts the entire main "plot" of stardew valley. So the villagers have not used the community center for years, causing it to fall into disrepair. Lewis puts the idea into the players' head that it's worth fixing. If you fix it, Pierre ends up chasing Morris and YoyoMart out of town. This is arguably bad for Pam, Penny, Sam, Vincent, Jodi, Shane, and possibly other characters who don't immediately come to my mind. The kicker? No one ever uses the community center after this except for one cutscene. You did all of that work just so the community center can go back to being ignored by the villagers and likely fall into disrepair again! If I had one complaint about Stardew Valley, this is it.

Once I started thinking about Lewis I actually was starting to feel that I might have ranked him lower just because of his weird relationship with Marnie. It is some serious prequel trilogy logic that he can't be open about them being a couple because he's the mayor. Is the mayor not allowed to date? I really don't get it. If anything it feels like he's using this as an excuse to ghost her.

He has more personality than the likes of Jas and Vince, he actually acknowledges that there are festivals going on, unlike Kent. Not much more to say about him aside from the fact that he likes Parsnips which are easy to grow en masse.

- 31 -


George

Another set dressing character. I happen to find him a little more interesting than the likes of his wife, or the mayor. He has the same attribute as Kent where he's frequently shown to be kinda a dick, but he will apologize when he's called out for it. A good example of a ConcernedApe style 'flawed' character who is redeemable. You can actually understand George's point of view and he does actually have very specific dialogue that adds to the flavor of the different festivals. He is unfortunately pretty boring most of the rest of the year.

One thing I liked about George is when I discovered that he Loved, not just Liked, but Loved, the leek that you can find on the ground. The unfortunate thing is that he only sends you stone once you befriend him. However, farming stone is a little more tedious than farming wood, so it's still fairly helpful to keep your stockpile of stone up if you're the type who builds frequently.

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"quickly" huh

- 30 -



Witch

A literal non-character who I absolutely could have cut, and maybe I should have. So a little bit of information about me. I love witches. It's probably one of my favorite stock fantasy/monster tropes, and I usually like their inclusion in games no matter how they are handled. Harvest Moon has plenty of great examples of Witches, so I would say my expectations for a decent Witch in Stardew Valley are relatively warranted.

The Witch we got it... eh. Biggest thing is she never really appears in a way where you can talk or interact with her. You can gain access to her magic altars, but unlike the Wizard you don't need to befriend her. You just... bribe her henchman and then go there at times when she's never there. For reasons.

I do find it amusing whenever she flies by and cackles, but these appearances are brief and rare.

Also I'm currently annoyed with her because in my most recent playthrough I decided to bite the bullet and buy a Void Egg from my dude Krobus for 5,000 Gold. Before the current egg in my incubator had time to hatch, the god damn Witch appeared and Cursed my chicken hut like 2 days later -- after my game had already saved of course. Not that I'm really one for resetting anyway, but still worth mentioning. That was 5,000 Gold well wasted.

- 29 -


Dwarf

Of the secondary "hidden" vendors this guy is by far the least useful, and also the most obnoxious to gain access to. This combination of facts can almost solely be credited for his pretty low placement. Aside from that I think he has a pretty interesting design. The lore of the dwarves in Stardew Valley is intriguing, and fun to explore through the discovery of artifacts. I don't think the actual Dwarf you meet really lives up to the legend you should have built up in your head before this. I always pictured the Dwarves in Stardew Valley as like aliens who crash landed on our planet a few thousand years ago. What you meet is like... some guy who lives in a cave.

Absolutely FUCK grinding for all four dwarf scrolls just to be able to talk to this guy. Dwarf Scroll 2 in particular is pretty notorious for being a biblical pain to track down. Normally if I search Google for any of the Dwarf Scrolls (1, 3, or 4, for example) some kind of thread about how 'Dwarf Scroll 2? Does it Exist?' will still show up within the top 10 results. On my current file I have 10 of Dwarf Scrolls 1 and 3, and I spent 2 real life days of grinding to obtain Dwarf Scroll 2. Then I found Scroll 4 in about five minutes once I started looking for it.

Is this guy worth all of that effort? Hell no. He's barely a top 30 NPC in this game, and that's really arguable based on the fact that I could have ranked the likes of Jas and Vince higher.

- 28 -


Mr. Qi

A little bit more of a character than the Witch. I find him more amusing cause he asks you to do funny shit like pull a prank on lewis and fill the mayors fridge up with beets. He also challenges the player in a way that will make you somewhat interested and feel like there are things to do even after you have "beaten" the game.


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I liked Mr. Qi's challenges.

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yeah. the witch quest line is a bit too short and easy, the Mr. Qi stuff feels like an appropriate challenge for my endgame character.

- 27 -


Harvey

It's at least plausible that Harvey only ranked this high because he's so boring I actually didn't notice him while I was rearranging my list, and he just happened to avoid being moved down along with the others in his class. Okay, but seriously, there isn't too much going on with Harvey. But I think he has enough that sets him apart from some of the others.

Firstly, he's basically the only really adult marriage candidate in the base game. Remember that Shane and Emily were added later. Aside from that we're told that Leah is among the "older" bachelorette characters. No, seriously. When your standard for the most mature character is Leah I think that speaks for itself. She is basically a 22 year old who just graduated with a degree in Art Appreciation and is just realizing that it's not actually worth anything. Hardly the first thing that pops into mind when I picture a mature character.

Enough about Leah though, this is about Harvey. So he's actually a Doctor -- he's one of the few marriage candidates who isn't just a straight up leech. Although the game doesn't really incorporate elements of this into the gameplay it at least sets a different tone for the marriage. Yeah, sure, you don't share the earnings from the clinic, it's implied to be doing poorly financially anyway, and Harvey will still charge you for medical supplies. But if you're into marrying dudes and you don't want someone like Sebastian who is just going to sit around your house all day and expect you to support him, I guess Harvey is the only real option.

Another interesting thing, related to this, is that Harvey actually continues to work his regular shifts even after you are married. Along with Maru, I think they are the only characters who do this. And Maru works FOR Harvey.

Emily, Shane, and Sam all reduce their working hours after marriage and spend more time on the farm.

It's pretty neat, and suggests that we could actually potentially marry shop owners, but for some reason ConcernedApe prevented us from doing it in almost every case. I'm not saying I want to marry Gus, but rather, a conscious decision was made to have Gus be a fat middle aged man instead of a sexy, young cafe owner.

Putting that aside, I think all of this information actually gives Harvey a pretty unique niche as far as bachelors go, and I'd actually be really interested if there was some kind of data to see which characters are chosen more frequently than spouses. While I doubt he's at the top, I actually wouldn't be surprised if he does better than guys like Alex, Sam, or even Elliot... despite looking like someone's dad in the 80's.

His ranking is relatively low on this list. But only in the sense that I think every remaining character on the list is at least pretty good, and he happens to be near the bottom just because I rarely go through the effort of going into the clinic every day to befriend him. If anyone here really likes Harvey I'd actually be interested to hear your thoughts on him.

- 26 -


Linus

... "speaking of leeches"

Okay, I had to make that joke.

Linus is a fairly unique and interesting character and honestly I might have ranked him PRETTY high if this were still early on in my Stardew Valley career. He gives some good recipes and surprisingly good friend gift options despite living in a tent on the side of the mountain -- and he's insanely easy to befriend. Seriously, at the very least go and get the Wild Bait recipe from him. He's happy with almost anything you pick up off the ground, making him about as easy to befriend as Leah!

My issue with Linus is that while he claims he just wants to be left alone, and he doesn't care what other people think about his lifestyle... the more you get to know him, the more you analyze his character, the more you realize that is not the case. He seems to have this need for the player character, and other characters in stardew valley, to acknowledge his lifestyle as legitimate.

He honestly gives some fairly pissy responses if you say anything to him other than "there's nothing wrong with your way of life!" when he's digging through other people's trash. And it's clear he has no respect or concern for other people's personal property or THEIR values. He just wants everyone to acknowledge HIS values. None of this makes me hate him, and it is a pretty deep and interesting characterization, but it definitely makes me like him less than a lot of the people who scored higher.

He's not this likable, quirky hermit that I pictured him as when I first started playing the game. He's kind of a dick, honestly.

Lastly, I'll just mention something else. There is a bit of an air of mystery about Linus that makes fans speculate and wonder about his backstory. I think that ship has long since sailed. It's pretty clear we are never going to be given an explanation of why Linus is the way he is... which basically is the same as having no backstory. I hate to say it, but there it is. Someone had to.

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The remaining characters, if anyone wants to try and guess my top 10 or something.

Abigail
Caroline
Demetrius
Desert Merchant
Emily
Gil
Gunther
Gus
Haley
Jodi
Krobus
Leah
Marnie
Maru
Penny
Pierre
Robin
Sam
Sandy
Sebastian
Shane
Submarine Dude
Traveling Merchant
Willy
Wizard

given my existing write ups I think you guys have some clues as to my tastes, and could make some pretty decent guesses. I think there's at least one top 10 character who probably no one would/could guess, though.


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I looked into it and Harvey is a more popular choice than Alex, Sam, and Elliot. Basically the three that I thought he might be! Interesting. The most interesting thing I found however is that Alex is incredibly popular among the gay male community. Like, his rating specifically among gay males is higher than Sebastian's overall rating... despite Sebastian being the #1 choice overall. So if everyone is allowed to vote, Sebastian is the #1 husband choice. But if only gay males are allowed to vote, Alex goes from last place to first place!

Although given what I've heard from some gay or bisexual dudes that I've known, this makes sense. A lot of them mention a common fetish or fantasy of making the stereotypical masculine dude, the quarterback/jock archetype, admit or realize that he's actually gay. I feel like Alex fits that mold pretty well, so him being popular among that demographic adds up pretty well.

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Harvey's one of those characters I will carry an item he likes with me at all times.

Which is to say his schedule seems erratic and the doctor's office maze is a waste of time searching for him so I have something for him if I ever bump onto him. And it's coffee and I use that plenty myself.

That's a lot better than Elliot and Sam who I see and check for any pocket change.

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Ngl, most of the marriage candidates in Stardew Valley aren't great for me, and that's because of exactly what you noted -- they're almost all kids. (If someone is around or especially below 20 years old, they may as well be a kid as far as marriage goes.)

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Noooo Dwarf! The only stardew character I like :(

Oh well

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I can't wait until our opinions start differing.

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- 25 -


Pierre

How the hell did this scumbag inch his way into the top 25? Uh, I guess by being a scumbag! At the very least, Pierre is a very interesting character. His rivalry with Morris kinda drives the plot of Stardew Valley, if you want to pretend there is a main plot, and in a lot of ways you can see that he's just as bad as Morris. The game cleverly disguises the fact that there's really no 'best' choice for everyone in Stardew Valley.

I talked about this in my Lewis write up already, but, Pierre either beats the shit out of Morris or rallies the citizens to boycott YoyoMart. Either way driving them out of town. And what happens? Sam loses his job. Shane loses his job. Jodi, Pam, possibly others have to pay Pierre's prices now instead of the YoyoMart prices they could afford. Pam does get her job back, and Kent returns to help Jodi out, but still. Sam and Shane LOSE THEIR JOBS. And they never start working again after that. Holy shit. You and Pierre ruined their lives.

Truly one of the most evil bastards in Stardew Valley, and a more fascinating character for it. His relationship with Abigail is pretty cool. He comes across like he doesn't really 'get' her but, eh, this is true for most parents. At least he tries to have a few conversations with her, or about her. He definitely seems more cold toward his wife... something that makes absolutely no sense to me. You are married to Caroline. Are you blind, man?

- 24 -


Sam

And now we get to the reason why I don't care too much about Pierre making Sam lose his job. I don't really hold Sam in super high regard either! He's a pretty decent guy, one of the few marriage candidates who is immediately nice toward the player character as soon as you move in, with no strings attached. Many of the others are either apathetic toward you, nervous around you, or just downright mean/cold. All that being said, I think Jodi's point of view is really enlightening here.

There are conversations where she talks about how she wants her kids to grow up, and then has to remind herself that Sam is already an adult. Jodi thinks of Sam as a kid, like, the same as Vincent. And has to remind herself that Sam is actually an adult. Yeah. Thing is, I don't feel like this is a case of her being an overly attached mother. I think she basically hits the nail on the head.

He also apparently does not help out with any chores around the house. Seriously, what the fuck? I mean, I get it. Some people live with their parents even into their 20's, and even later. It's whatever. But if your mom is still washing your dishes and cleaning your underwear, we've got a problem. You are not marriage material.

My favorite Sam scene is when Lewis makes him promise not to skateboard outside anymore after he pops a sick grind across the flower bed outside of Emily's house. Then you can find him outside on his skateboard later the same week, or even the same day, depending on when you trigger the event. Sam is good friends with Sebastian, seems to respect the opinion of the player character a lot, and isn't a bad friend to have by any means. He's definitely a solid top 25 contender.

If you do feel inclined to marry him, check this out -- his room is actually fairly clean! And he builds an awesome half pipe outside of the farm where he skates from time to time.

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Sam too low.

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those Alex/Sam fanarts are legit
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trdl23 posted...

Ngl, most of the marriage candidates in Stardew Valley aren't great for me, and that's because of exactly what you noted -- they're almost all kids. (If someone is around or especially below 20 years old, they may as well be a kid as far as marriage goes.)

yeah... I won't say that it's impossible for me to be attracted to anyone that young, but it's definitely a lot harder for me. and not in the sense that like I see your date of birth on your license and I decide to be less attracted or something. it's just, you can kinda tell when someone is a lot younger than you. there's usually a real difference.

Zigzagoon posted...

Noooo Dwarf! The only stardew character I like :(

Oh well

I refuse to believe that you don't like Krobus!

HanOfTheNekos posted...

I can't wait until our opinions start differing.

having already looked at the charts of which marriage candidates are popular, believe me, I know it's coming. there's no way people are gonna be happy with the rest of the list lol

Drakeryn posted...

those Alex/Sam fanarts are legit

hah. I try!

well, actually, I usually go for a mix of good and also comically bad art. and sometimes I don't even know which one I'm choosing, since I have a deep appreciation for bad art to the point where I sometimes think it's good.


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- 23 -


Desert Merchant

A new NPC who admittedly doesn't have much in the way of dialogue but I wouldn't say that matters TOO much to me. The desert merchant is a very useful merchant, and I'm pretty sure also the person who shows up and gives you free coffee every day during the night market. Which is... really nice, and really cool. However, the really big thing, is the desert market stall itself. Man, I think it might be one of the best merchants in the game.

It is a little clunky because you have to 'trade' items for wares, but the Desert Merchant does carry a few very specific useful things that you'll always be coming back for. Such as trading those stacks of hundreds of quartz you've collected into Bombs.

Definitely don't sleep on the fact that you can trade a Ruby for a Spicy Eel -- a meal that gives +1 Speed and +1 Luck. Those are two bonuses you want to have in Skull Cavern. Although I think the Pumpkin Soup is arguably better, there's really no denying that for the value of a ruby (something I'd almost throw in the trash without caring) you can get bonus speed and luck instead. And Pumpkin Soup requires raising cows and growing pumpkins just for the sake of turning them into food, which can feel exhaustive and wasteful.

You can also get an Artifact Trove by trading in Omni Geodes. So instead of turning your Omni Geoge into stone and worthless minerals that you already have millions of copies of, you can get extra attempts to produce the more rare artifacts that you're likely struggling to find. I consider the normal Traveling Merchant to be one of the most useful NPCs in the base game. And I think ConcernedApe has done a really good job by making this new Desert Merchant probably one of the most useful NPCs in the post game.

You can also buy a special variant of the Mermaid Pendant that lets you marry Krobus. Hell yeah.

- 22 -


Submarine Dude

Another new NPC who I guess I'm really just using as a stand in to talk about the Night Market. So there's a festival in fall now where several unique merchants show up at night for three days in a row and there's lots of cool stuff you can get there. In addition to a Mermaid show where you can get a Pearl for free, there's also the famous painter Lupini who sells unique art pieces for your house, as well as furniture and decoration vendors. The Traveling Merchant shows up for three days in a row with her cart on a raft, which is super convenient, and lastly is the Submarine.

The Submarine Dude will offer to take you to the ocean floor for only 500 gold, and you can fish down there for a while before needing to return back to the surface. You can cut it pretty close, especially since there's also a guy on the docks who will teleport you home, just be careful. Now you might be asking if 500 gold is really worth it just to fish for a few hours? Well... short answer is, yes. I've only done the Night Market once so far, and it was with a character who didn't even have max level fishing and I didn't even go prepared. Heck, I didn't even stay down there for the maximum amount of time. I still came back with around 2500 gold on my first trip! So you absolutely will make a profit as long as you're willing to spend 5 or 10 real life minutes fishing. Or however long it takes. I don't even know how Stardew Valley time converts to real time. In addition to the fact that all of the fish down there are profitable, many of the available ones are unique, and you have a small chance of catching another Pearl.

We're really at the point where I'm simply highly rating the NPCs that I think provide good utility and have cool designs, even if you can't actually go through the process of leveling up their friendship and viewing heart events.

- 21 -


Gunther

And continuing with that, we have Gunther who works at the Museum! The sad thing about Gunther is that he does have a little bit of dialogue, will send the player a few letters, and even has a couple of cutscenes... but for some reason he's one of the few characters who seems to live in Stardew Valley that you can't really get close to, and doesn't go to any festivals. Thinking about it that way makes it seem like Gunther is a bit standoffish but maybe he's just an introvert or something. He doesn't come across like he's super rude or elitist or anything like that so it's too hard to speculate beyond ... the effort to give him more dialogue and scenes simply wasn't put into the game.

Many of the artifacts and minerals you find are barely worth selling, if at all, but if you hand this literal garbage over to Gunther he'll display it in his collection. Bring him enough trash and he'll even give you decorations, seeds, and other things with actual value! Not much else to say beyond how obviously useful that is. He also eventually fulfills his dream of making the Stardew Valley Museum a recognized place, and comes to tell the player about the reward they received as well as thanking you for helping him make it possible.

You will also get a special key from him that allows you to meet Krobus. More about him later!


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- 20 -


Willy

And so we kick off the top 20 with the guy who gives you your first fishing rod, it's Willy! Willy is just a solid blend of being a colorful character, fairly easy to befriend, has some comical scenes and dialogues, provides the player with some nice stuff, and serves as a useful vendor. The fact that you can sell fish directly to him without needing the shipping bin is a godsend early on. Willy alone makes it possible to catch and sell enough fish on day 1 to plant a ton of high value seeds instead of just the few Parsnip you're given for free.

On top of that you get the upgraded fishing rods from him as well. Unlike Clint, he doesn't require you to grind for materials, he simply upgrades his stock when you have the appropriate level. Unlike Clint, he doesn't make you wait. He gives you the rod immediately once you have paid for it. He also sells lures and bait, and he starts selling Crab Pots pretty early on as well. Honestly the materials for crafting Crab Pots are fairly difficult to obtain early on and it's not a bad strategy to simply buy them instead.

The other thing I like about Willy is that he indirectly gives you an idea of which fish are available by sending you challenge letters and posted requests on the request board. Willy won't ever request a fish that is out of season, and in the case of the challenge letters he can even be pretty specific about how and when you can catch the fish. This can be immensely useful if you need to catch specific fish, or want to catch every fish, and you aren't inclined to use a guide except as a last resort. I definitely found Willy to be a useful NPC on my first playthrough for this reason, and he continues to be useful on new farms just because of how valuable it is to be able to sell fish and buy crab pots early on.

Oh yeah, dude also gives you a Star Drop after you catch every fish in the game and has a weird obsession with putting strange items under his pillow.


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Willy also too low.

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They make pills for that, ya know.
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I just reinstalled this game thanks to you (and the big patch that got me kinda interested last month)

thanks a lot

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nice! I also started a new farm for 1.4 and yeah I've had a lot of fun with it.

also don't worry too much about the exact placement of characters. honestly this topic is more just an excuse for me to talk about the characters, I'm not all that good or invested in ranking things anyway. the people at the bottom are vaguely at the bottom, and the people at the top are vaguely at the top. that's about it!

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- 19 -


Wizard (Rasmodius)

The Wizard is another character who I think is similar to Willy. He has a unique and interesting appearance, some funny dialogue and moments, as well as helping the character early on and having a few cutscenes of his own. I tend to ignore Rasmodius for most of the first year until I have dozens of Void and Solar Essences in stock, then I go bring him one as often as possible for a while until he's my best friend.

The Wizard will let you use some of the magic devices on his property, and also kickstarts your ability to access the magic items owned by the Witch. While doing stuff like altering your appearance is useful, I've never really felt any kind of desire to turn my children into doves and get rid of them. So, yeah, some of his functions are pretty bizarre.

The special buildings he can construct for you are really cool -- like giant pillars that allow you to warp from your farm to any location, a clock that prevents debris from spreading across your farm (this one is expense), and a junimo hut that allows junimo to live and work on your farm. I actually need to test the junimo hut to see if it gathers from animals or just crops. I'd be curious to see. Maybe I'll try to get one soon on my 1.4 farm.

All in all the Wizard provides some useful functions, is a colorful character who definitely adds something different to the cast, and he's not all that hard to befriend. You won't be able to get his favorite gifts as easily early on, but later you will be absolutely drowning in them.

- 18 -


Demetrius

Some people think Demetrius can kinda be a dick, but I don't think he's nearly as bad as some of the other main offenders. I also have a bit of a special place for him in my friendship rankings just because he was one of the first villagers I ever befriended to 10 hearts on my first playthrough. As it turns out, a guy who likes the berries you can find 80 of in a matter of days, is pretty easy to befriend. He also has the perfect mix of schedule where he's generally always in the same region, but ventures out into locations that are close to areas you'd already be running through normally.

I think the tomato = vegetable/fruit scene is probably one of the most cringe cutscenes in all of Stardew Valley, but hey, what's life without a little cringe. My favorite thing about Demetrius is, of course, the cave! Man the funniest thing is that I always used to think that the mushroom cave was the best. Sure the fruit cave would sometimes produce more rare fruits, but it usually just gives you a bunch of forage junk that you can easily find anyway.

While it's true that the mushroom cave can give you red and purple shrooms, those aren't really as useful as the ability to produce specific fruits without needing to plant a bunch of trees on your farm. Especially if you're trying to fill out the bundles. The only annoying one is the 3 apples needed for the fodder bundle. Honestly you may as well plant apple trees as soon as possible, because, uh, your odds of 3 apples all the same quality dropping in the cave are pretty low. It could take a year or more by the time it happens. And yes they have to all be the same quality to donate them to the community center.

The other thing I liked was that it mostly drops a bunch of the same brown mushrooms which stack, and can be brought into the mines for health and energy. Thing is, I've realized by now that there's much better things to bring with you as food into the mines. On top of that, while the ability to have fewer stacks of items is somewhat convenient, you can easily just place a chest outside of the cave and throw all of your fruit in there until you're ready to sort it out.

Anyway I spent way too much time talking about caves and fruits and mushrooms, and not really talking about the person I was supposed to talk about. Which, in a way, feels exactly like something Demetrius would do!


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- 17 -


Gil

Want to impress Marlon? Kill 10 slimes. Uhhh... Make it to floor 25 in the mines or something.

Want to impress Gil? Yeah, kill 1,000 slimes you fucking amateur.

Enough said.

I also like how he just chills out in his rocking chair all day. Unfortunately there isn't much more you can say about Gil, but these are the reasons I think I would have liked to see him more as the head of the adventuring Guild, as opposed to the version we got where all of the focus was given to Marlon. Also he has a cool hat.

- 16 -


Marnie

This is just natural for the middle of the list. She's not bad, she's not amazing, she's not really TOO interesting, but I guess I rank her fairly high among the boring characters. Marnie is somewhat difficult to befriend, at least I rank her definitely in the bottom half of my "how annoying are you to befriend" scale.

The primary factor for this? Her shop is out of the way of everything else in the game. You have to specifically plan a trip to run all the way to the south of the map to visit Marnie, or the Wizard. Even the other characters from that location (Shane, Jas, Leah) can often be found wandering around town. Marnie is more tethered to that one spot.

With that being said I think she is the #1 vendor who has also pissed me off by not being in her shop when I go there at like 1 PM on a weekday SO MANY TIMES. So yeah, maybe it'd be better if she stuck nearer to the shop more often!

Anyway, Marnie is a really useful NPC who largely controls the access to animals. Hey, that's a major part of farming! Although the truth is that you can make millions of gold easily without bothering with animals, and some are worse than others, I assume most of us are not playing the game just to harvest 40 star drops from the greenhouse every 11 days and do nothing else. So yeah if you're into raising animals, this is the way to go.

Marnie's shop is also the most convenient place to trigger the "naming glitch" if there's ever an item that you are struggling to obtain through more legit methods. You can always buy animals, you can always name them, and Marnie will always say the name immediately. I haven't used the glitch myself before but I know how it works, and I have been sort of curious to try it out just to see. Just never got around to it. ConcernedApe is aware of the glitch and has no intention of taking it out, so it's one of those weird defining quirks that will always be a part of the game.

I mentioned in the Jas write up that I think the family dynamic between Marnie, Shane, and Jas is interesting. None of that would be possible without Marnie. The fact that she is looking out for Shane is pretty nice in and of itself. He's definitely the type of person who it would be very easy for his friends and family to give up on him.

Considering how many animal products are needed for bundles, Marnie can be a valuable friend if you're doing a Community Center run. And honestly, who ever sides with YoyoMart?

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I believe you mean 116* star fruits every 9* days. I get my greenhouse online as early as humanly possible and I MinMax the living hell out of it

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heh. well, I just threw out some random numbers. it sounds like you actually have it down to a science!

- 15 -


Gus

The owner of the pub is honestly just a pretty nice guy that might have snuck a bit higher up on the list than he really deserves. He's not an amazing vendor, he doesn't have a ton of unique scenes or dialogue that make him stand out. Buying a bunch of salads is nice. Also it's useful that a bunch of people meet in the pub in the evening, so you don't have to go track them all down, and Gus conveniently sells gifts that work for just about everyone there.

Obviously it'd be better if the Cafe owner was a cute girl with drill hair, but Gus is fine too. I guess.

- 14 -



Leah

And ohhhh boy here we go. This is one of the write ups I was originally looking forward to, since I knew my opinion was gonna be pretty controversial. But man, after looking at the data for the first time recently, I am now ready to be completely disintegrated. Apparently Leah is the #1 most popular female marriage candidate in basically every category (ranked preference, #1 preference only). On my list, she is the first female marriage candidate to appear. Meaning that, in a sense, yes, I have technically ranked Stardew Valley's resident artist and most popular waifu as the lowest.

Okay. Keeping in mind she's a top 14 character still, I wouldn't say Leah is a bad character by any means. But she definitely has some issues that make me not love her as much as others do. I alluded to her immaturity a bit earlier in my Harvey write up, and the fact that Leah is apparently one of the older single women in pelican town makes this issue stand out a bit more. She SHOULD be one of more mature ones, right? Well, that might technically even be true, but she's still very immature and at least Abigail has the excuse of being like 19.

I've also talked about how I have a pretty solid ranking in my head of how selfish the different marriage candidates are. Leah is... similar to Sam in the sense that she is very nice to you as soon as you arrive. And she is really nice. Honestly, she makes a good friend. But man, I always felt like after you marry Leah she becomes a lot more complacent and selfish. Especially compared to the other female marriage candidates who all rank pretty high on selflessness. Even Haley's entire arc is that she starts off cold but becomes one of the more warm marriage partners eventually. Leah is nowhere near as bad as some of the husbands, but she is definitely on the more selfish side when it comes to the wives. Unfortunately it's been a LONG time since the file when I married Leah, so I can't give any great specific examples.

One other thing that bugs me a bit about Leah is similar to a problem I have with Clint... The only difference is that Leah is thirsty for the main character no matter what, similar to how Clint is thirsty for Emily no matter what. One of the big problems, and huge complaints with the male marriage candidates, is that they aren't really flirty enough and so their interactions don't ever feel romantic even at a high level of hearts. I can kinda see why... on top of the fact that CA is potentially less interested in writing that kind of romance, there's also the issue of having the characters not come across as TOO flirty when it's inappropriate. Considering that Robin still asks you if you've ever met her son, Sebastian, after you've been married to Sebastian for 2 years, I'm gonna say that this is a difficult issue for CA to work around.

Leah is one of the few marriage candidates who becomes VERY flirty around 8 hearts, before you even start dating her, and her dialogue doesn't change too much no matter what you do. When I was dating someone else, Leah would repeatedly proposition me to come to her cabin if I was ever lonely, so we could "snuggle" together under the covers. Do you think this isn't supposed to be explicitly sexual? Well, after you are married she keeps the same dialogue but only changes it slightly.... telling you, a married man, that if you ever feel lonely you should come to her cabin so you could "talk" about it. Holy shit. Maybe others don't read as deeply into this, but it definitely rubbed me the wrong way. Essentially the only difference between you being married is that she makes her offer a bit more subtle, acknowledging the fact that you are married and basically not giving a shit. If anything she seems to assume that you are lonely and need to talk to someone else about it. Yeah, no thanks!

Obviously minor issues like this aren't enough to ruin Leah's character for me. She's not at the bottom, like Clint is, so let's talk about the good things.

She's VERY easy to befriend. Along with a small group of similar characters, Leah is happy with almost anything you pick up off the ground as long as it's somewhat edible or decorative. And among this group she's one of the ones who wanders around pretty often, but is still fairly easy to track down. She's like the anti-Elliot.

Leah has a really good, friendly personality. There's lots of unique scenes that you can trigger with her, like even hosting an art show in pelican town. I don't think she has an amazing character 'arc' per se, but she does have a good backstory. The 'arc' is more just you learning about her backstory, and her finding a little bit of confidence in herself. Although this feels somewhat forced, because she seemed to already be pretty confident in herself, I choose to believe this just falls into the 'Leah is super thirsty for the farmer' school of thought. It's basically just an excuse for her to endear herself to you, and compliment you, and make you feel like you helped her out.

And heck, there's nothing super wrong with this. I don't think Leah has any ulterior motives. Her being attracted to a farmer of all things is VERY fitting with her values and her personality. The stuff she does and says is really no different from the normal rituals of flirting that people go through in the real world. Not everything you do or say is 100% genuine, there are some things you just kinda do because this is what people are supposed to do. I would say that Leah is among one of the most "natural" candidates for the farmer to end up marrying.

Still, while I get the love for her, I just don't love her that much myself. I did like her enough to go out of my way to marry her at least once. But... At this point I would pick pretty much every other potential wife before Leah. Which is exactly what I

Leah is definitely my SV waifu of choice, but I've only played the game one time and never not been married to her. I zeroed in on her almost immediately. That thirsty stuff when you aren't married (and yeah, I think your interpretation is accurate) is pretty "yikes."

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Leah is #1. This was a blow to my morale

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y'know I always thought that abigail was more popular than Leah, too. but this is because the abigail fans are apparently more vocal. so maybe the leah fans aren't the type who will blast me into orbit anyway.


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trdl23 posted...

Leah is definitely my SV waifu of choice, but I've only played the game one time and never not been married to her. I zeroed in on her almost immediately. That thirsty stuff when you aren't married (and yeah, I think your interpretation is accurate) is pretty "yikes."

I basically agree with this.

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I marry Leah almost exclusively so I've rarely had occasion to notice her unmarried dialogue comes on strong.

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