Board 8 > You think you'll ever have kids?

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AirJordan2345
02/27/20 2:06:54 PM
#1:


do you think so?




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Steiner
02/27/20 2:12:10 PM
#2:


if I do I'm suing my doctor
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SantaRPidgey
02/27/20 2:16:33 PM
#3:


It was basically my life goal for the first half of my life but after my divorce I'm kinda struggling with the reality that it probably wont ever happen now.

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AirJordan2345
02/27/20 2:17:37 PM
#4:


SantaRPidgey posted...
It was basically my life goal for the first half of my life but after my divorce I'm kinda struggling with the reality that it probably wont ever happen now.
you really did want kids?
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Obellisk
02/27/20 2:17:37 PM
#5:


SantaRPidgey posted...
It was basically my life goal for the first half of my life but after my divorce I'm kinda struggling with the reality that it probably wont ever happen now.


Have the kids before the divorce. That's what I did.

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SantaRPidgey
02/27/20 2:21:40 PM
#6:


Obellisk posted...
Have the kids before the divorce. That's what I did.

Thats what I tried to do! Thats basically why we got divorced

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Torlovsk
02/27/20 2:27:00 PM
#7:


No.
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shane15
02/27/20 2:29:37 PM
#8:


SantaRPidgey posted...
Thats what I tried to do! Thats basically why we got divorced


I'd have thought the subject of kids would've come up before you decided to get married.

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Obellisk
02/27/20 2:29:51 PM
#9:


SantaRPidgey posted...
Thats what I tried to do! Thats basically why we got divorced

Yeah, it helps to be on the same page re: kids.

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imthestuntman
02/27/20 2:36:32 PM
#10:


Wife wants to adopt 1 kid. I'm on the fence about it. I see a lot of people give up on their own life after having a kid. My wife and I would also both have to keep working at least until our student loans and cars are paid off. So basically the kid would have to be at a daycare all day 5 days a week. I feel bad enough not spending enough time with my dog, I would feel worse neglecting a kid.

Personally I think I would enjoy it and be good at it. I just don't know that I actually want to make the sacrifices it requires...

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Obellisk
02/27/20 2:38:07 PM
#11:


It helps to a) have grandparents around to help with daycare and b) be able to work from home.

I have no idea how anyone can handle 5 days of day care a week (emotionally and financially)

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Johnny Eagle
02/27/20 2:40:44 PM
#12:


I certainly hope not

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AirJordan2345
02/27/20 2:42:29 PM
#13:


Johnny Eagle posted...
I certainly hope not
whose gonna take care of you when you're old then?
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Uglyface2
02/27/20 2:45:33 PM
#14:


No. I just cant get a date, let alone all of the progressively more involved relationship milestones to have kids.
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SantaRPidgey
02/27/20 2:49:22 PM
#15:


shane15 posted...
I'd have thought the subject of kids would've come up before you decided to get married.

True sad life fact: People don't realize what they truly want or don't want until they're in the situation

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FFDragon
02/27/20 2:54:55 PM
#16:


I wouldn't wish the curse of existence on anyone.

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ClyTheCool
02/27/20 2:57:07 PM
#17:


I don't think I could handle it. I'm like 10% open to it. If I was with someone who really wanted it AND I thought she would be a phenomenal mom AND she believed in me to be a dad then I think I could do it. But probably that's not going to happen. I think if I ever end up with someone for life they would also be someone who doesn't want kids. Women iv been with up till now either didn't want kids or I didn't really trust them to a good mom.

I would be perfectly happy and content to not have kids. I feel no desire or pressure to have kids within my life time, and I think the stress and busyness of having kids would make my life miserable.

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Obellisk
02/27/20 3:12:06 PM
#18:


ClyTheCool posted...
and I think the stress and busyness of having kids would make my life miserable.


School, dance, soccer, softball, girlscouts, birthday parties, play dates...

I cherish bed time.


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MysticBrohan
02/27/20 3:27:27 PM
#19:


AirJordan2345 posted...
whose gonna take care of you when you're old then?
what a selfish reason to have children

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Xiahou Shake
02/27/20 3:36:10 PM
#20:


I thought I did for most of my life, but seeing firsthand how little time being a fully functioning adult leaves for... anything, really, that changed. I can't fathom giving up what's left for things I enjoy to live what basically has to be a 99% selfless life. I like my hobbies too much for that!

Plus I'll be doing pretty damn well if I can afford a decent enough life for myself and my partner. Kids are expensive!

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swordz9
02/27/20 3:37:09 PM
#21:


My siblings have enough to make up for the fact Ill probably never have any. I wouldnt mind having at least one in the future though
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ChaosTonyV4
02/27/20 3:38:03 PM
#22:


I have two, and its great.

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#23
Post #23 was unavailable or deleted.
ertyu0078
02/27/20 4:14:57 PM
#24:


You need a gf first
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NBIceman
02/27/20 5:21:21 PM
#25:


I think I'm somehow completely neutral on it.

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ZenOfThunder
02/27/20 6:25:37 PM
#26:


I think it's very selfish to have kids, life fucking sucks

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banananor
02/27/20 8:01:19 PM
#27:


AirJordan2345 posted...
whose gonna take care of you when you're old then?
My piles of money accrued by not taking care of children

I used to be 100% on the no kids train.

But! I've found the things I was afraid of- routine, commitment, obligation- can creep up on you anyway

I have a good relationship with my parents- that's one thing I'd like to pass forward

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CassandraCain
02/27/20 9:55:51 PM
#28:


FFDragon posted...
I wouldn't wish the curse of existence on anyone.

ZenOfThunder posted...
I think it's very selfish to have kids, life fucking sucks

This is mostly where I stand on it now. I worry that I'd pass on my mental issues and my kid would grow up depressed, which would then make me feel even worse about myself.

This world is just too shitty now, bringing a new life into it seems cruel to me. And it's not like there's a shortage of kids so there's no pressure to have any of my own. If anything I'd feel better about adopting.

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Drakeryn
02/27/20 10:14:52 PM
#29:


I used to want kids because I like kids. Like at any family gathering everyone is sitting around talking and I'm the one running around chasing the two-year-old. But I've come to realize I don't want the responsibility of having my own kid; I value my free time too much. I respect parents too much to become one.

Obellisk posted...
It helps to a) have grandparents around to help with daycare and b) be able to work from home.

I have no idea how anyone can handle 5 days of day care a week (emotionally and financially)

My co-worker with infant twins had a full-time in-house nanny. She also worked from home two days a week, but I think that was more convenience for her not having to commute and stuff. She would basically hide in the study so the kids didn't know she was home while the nanny took care of them, else she couldn't really get anything done.
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Turducken
02/27/20 10:22:22 PM
#30:


For lunch?
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Vlado
02/28/20 6:31:22 AM
#31:


Children are a true blessing. All the worries about how you'll have to change your life for them evaporate once they're actually here. Sure, your life does change, but for the better. Their happiness rubs off.

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MZero11
02/28/20 8:28:00 AM
#32:


I always did growing up, now I'm on the fence. I can see the pros of both sides, so it's more like an either way is okay kind of thing.

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LordoftheMorons
02/28/20 8:34:37 AM
#33:


I certainly hope so

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XIII_rocks
02/28/20 10:37:19 AM
#34:


Sure, one day

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ZenOfThunder
02/28/20 11:27:07 AM
#35:


I think I'd be cool with adopting actually, my girlfriend and I really don't want kids of our own, kids change dynamics of a relationship too much and just feel like a burden, especially in infancy. I don't think I would be a good parent just because I would see it as a chore.

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SantaRPidgey
02/28/20 2:06:26 PM
#36:


There's something about the "I don't want to have kids because I value my personal time" that reeks of the same flavor as "I don't really want to work any sort of job" of early twenty somethings

like yeah, it's hard, that's kinda how life is set up to be

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Xiahou Shake
02/28/20 2:31:50 PM
#37:


SantaRPidgey posted...
There's something about the "I don't want to have kids because I value my personal time" that reeks of the same flavor as "I don't really want to work any sort of job" of early twenty somethings

like yeah, it's hard, that's kinda how life is set up to be
I think the difference here is no matter how much you value yourself and your time, society is constructed in such a way that you literally have to work to be a part of it and reap its benefits.

There's no need to have kids, and anyone having them because they feel they're just supposed to probably isn't doing themselves or their kids any favors.

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ChaosTonyV4
02/28/20 2:38:28 PM
#38:


After a certain point, kids mostly take care of themselves if you provide the right tools and love them.

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Obellisk
02/29/20 11:53:43 PM
#39:


Drakeryn posted...
My co-worker with infant twins had a full-time in-house nanny. She also worked from home two days a week, but I think that was more convenience for her not having to commute and stuff. She would basically hide in the study so the kids didn't know she was home while the nanny took care of them, else she couldn't really get anything done.

When they were babies working from home was actually not that hard, they had a strict schedule of naps feeds etc and I would just work around that (and extra at night if necessary). And now that they are a bigger school is a beautiful thing.

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MZero11
03/01/20 8:58:09 AM
#40:


Xiahou Shake posted...
I think the difference here is no matter how much you value yourself and your time, society is constructed in such a way that you literally have to work to be a part of it and reap its benefits.

There's no need to have kids, and anyone having them because they feel they're just supposed to probably isn't doing themselves or their kids any favors.

I mean society definitely needs kids being born too >_>

Your point is right though, you shouldn't have kids if you don't want them

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GavsEvans123
03/01/20 10:48:44 AM
#42:


I have no idea what to do with children and believe that I would be a terrible father, so for the longest time I didn't want to ever have children. However I've recently started to become more open to the idea of children if I were to find someone truly special and cared deeply enough about them that I wanted to start a family and learn how to provide and care for children. The only problem is I would need to get a girlfriend first and, well...

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Raka_Putra
03/01/20 10:55:30 AM
#43:


I do want to have kids. Though having the right partner is mandatory. And I might not get to do it anytime soon since the government isn't really tolerant of non-traditional families...or relationships, for that matter.

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ZeldaTPLink
03/01/20 11:36:25 AM
#44:


Maybe I will. I don't feel any close to it right now, but I'm a very late bloomer I think.
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