Board 8 > THE Snake Ranks Anything Horror Related (Vol. 5) *5th Anniversary* *RANKINGS*

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srRgqb_1pGs

YOU nominated 'em, I ranked 'em, that's right, a jolly ole' Autumnal breeze has swung back 'round again to greet us with its chilly embrace, as the bones of the undead rattle back awake & the haunting moans of grimacing ghouls creep ever so-closer into earshot to join once more in the yearly horror revelry that is SNAKE RANKS ANYTHING HORROR RELATED! It's the series where we delve head-first into the treacherous world of boos, screams, & gasps and take on the best & worst of what the incredibly varied genre of horror has to offer. I rank each nomination by their importance to both horror & their specific medium, how fearful said nomination is, and of course, for that added personal touch, how much I like the nomination in question. It's pretty self-explanatory at this point, so why don't we just get on with it?

Being that this is the FIFTH ANNIVERSARY, I'm going to be taking the opportunity this year to occasionally offer retrospective looks on previous years' nominations as well, when it relates to stuff that has been nominated this year. I think this will be a fun way to re-discuss earlier nominations in a new light, especially stuff back to when I first took a swing at this whole ranking spooky stuff deal. Now included in every Halloween candy grab bag free of charge!

So, I suggest you settle in, grab your favorite warm blanket & hot beverage, pop in your best teeth-rotting treats, and enjoy another crazy, frightening year of rankings from your fifth-favorite horror host, Snake!


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Full Nominations List:

NFUN
1. 2020
2. Missing the nomination period for a topic series you like
3. The Teen Comix meme
4. A forum eating your post for absolutely no reason
5. Long winding roads in the forest that appear to have the same section repeat over and over again so that you feel like youre stuck in an infinite loop

Jesse_Custer
6. Gravity Falls Northwest Mystery Mansion (episode)
7. Haunted Mansion (Disney World)
8. Gorillaz Santurnz Barz (music video) https://youtu.be/5qJp6xlKEug
9. Christopher Robin Trailer Dub https://youtu.be/azEsDoQXkP0
10. Dolls (movie)

Xeybozn
11. Ash vs. Evil Dead
12. Ode to Kirihito
13. World War Z (book)
14. The Terminator (movie)
15. Shia LaBeouf (song)

Great_Paul
16. Horrified (board game)
17. The Invisible Man (1933)
18. Having your hair cut while youre sleeping
19. Hollows Eve https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ9wY5yBS34
20. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

GavsEvans123
21. Pumpkinhead (Film)
22. Ghosthunter (PS2 game)
23. Blood-C (Anime)
24. Misery (Book)
25. Pokmon Generations episode 10: The Old Chateau - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBp1quVhbjo

Bane_Of_Despair
26. Ice Nine Kills The Silver Scream (Album)
27. The Dogs (a short horror story.) Neil Cicierega (Video)
28. When you jump for the finish line in the Tip Toe mini game but a player behind you grabs you so you fall and get eliminated

Anagram
29. Garth Marenghis Darkplace (TV show)
30. Ars Goetia (Book)
31. King Tuts Curse
32. Predator (Monster)
33. Conspiracy (The Next Generation)

BetrayedTangy
34. The Blood Test Scene (The Thing)
35. The Guy Who Doesnt Like Musicals (musical)
36. The Invisible Man (2020 film)
37. The Car Wreck Scene (Final Destination 2)
38. John Wayne Gacy

Pirateking2000
39. The Beast (Homeworld Cataclysm) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pM8OyBBoUhg (click to expand)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLmw5kJMT3s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w0qqTvXC-w
40. Ice Cream Man (Character / Comic Series) https://imgur.com/a/U1EeuRX
41. Being suddenly caught red handed with your porn / porn stash by those you dont want seeing out of nowhere (General) https://imgur.com/a/6sbfRvE
42. The Filth (The Secret World / Moons of Madness) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwgs7Ojwf7g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-57H9g8xF1o
https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/The_Filth
43. The Secret World (Video Game) https://imgur.com/a/Ay9wm11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liEHA569CfE

Paulg235
44. The first year of the COVID-19 Pandemic
45. Nosferatu (1978 Film)
46. The Nazi concentration camps of World War 2
47. Sonic.exe (Fan Game)
48. Baldis Basics (Game)

Shonen_Bat
49. Fear Itself
50. The Dark Fantasy genre
51. Immortality
52. Shadow Man Jack the Ripper https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vgyt-kiVwG4
53. Feeling like something is slightly off

Rwlh
54. Clock Tower | Dont Cry, Jennifer | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WxrXvDdKuw
55. Saya no Uta | Schizophrenia |https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSSwtJEJVjU
56. Shadow Man | Playrooms | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DV0kLXBnmyI
57. Super Metroid | Mother Brain | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bwt740KznHE
58. The White Chamber | Terror (Corridor Sequence) | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tTFJC5zl4U

Gall
59. ECHO (2017 game)
60. People who say that horror media doesnt scare them
61. The King in Yellow (1895 book)
62. The Uncanny Valley

Johnbobb
63. Black Friday (musical) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqt4_tHLSB4
64. There Existed an Addiction to Blood (.clipping album)
65. Parasyte the maxim- (anime)
66. Control (video game)
67. Dark (tv series)

Xiahou
68. Drag Me to Hell (2009 film)
69. The Mysterio moment in Far From Home

MetalmindStats
70. Badeline (Celeste character)
71. DOOM (1993 video game)
72. In the Mirror (Celeste song) | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXfHKEaDg4s
73. Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors
74. The Lighthouse (2019 film)

Inviso
75. Angela Orosco (Silent Hill 2 Character)
76. Spookys Jump Scare Mansion (Video Game)
77. X-TRO (Horror B Movie)
78. Vashta Nerada (Doctor Who Enemy)
79. Shaun Riley (Shaun of the Dead)

Murphiroth
80. The Brethren Moons (Dead Space entities)
81. Yakuza: Dead Souls (Game)
82. SCP-106
83. The Evil Within 2 (Game)
84. Vanishing on 7th Street (Movie)

Cavedweller2000
85. Mr X (Resident Evil 2)
86. Mr X (Resident Evil 2 Remake)
87. Five Nights at Freddys (franchise)
88. 1408 (film)
89. Identity (film)

V_charon
90. Silent Hill 4: The Room (game)
91. Song of Horror (game)
92. Zombie Prostitute (Aurelio Voltaire song)
93. Alan Wake (character)
94. Headless Horseman (general literary character)

PrinceKaro
95. My Little Pony Friendship is Magic S5E21 Scare Master
96. Darkest Dungeon (video game)
97. Deadman Wonderland (anime)
98. ParaNorman

RaidenGarai
99. Ginny Field
100. Jamie Lloyd
101. Nancy Thompson
102. Chris Higgins
103. Rachel Carruthers

Wallmasterz
104. Resident Evil REmake
105. The Exorcist (1973 film)
106. Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima https://youtu.be/Dp3BlFZWJNA
107. Pinocchio (1940) Pleasure Island sequences
108. Jump scares (horror trope)

Dark Silvergun
109. Resident Evil Code: Veronica [Game]
110. Resident Evil Vendetta [Movie]
111. MLP:FiM S2E04 Luna Eclipsed [Show Episode]
112. Army of Darkness [Movie]
113. Dark Souls [Game]

Handsomeboy2012
114. Painis Cupcake

tag

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Woo

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Spooky tag

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Survival Horror Tag!

Ah yeah!


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133. Missing the nomination period for a topic series you like (3 points)
Nominated by: NFUN (4/5 remaining)

Importance: 1
Fear: 1
Snake: 1

Coming in with the second ever perfect low score in this series, I think we can all safely agree that of all the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad things in the world that may keep you up at night, missing the nominations period for a topic series you like doesn't rank terribly high. Yet, there's no absolutely no denying that disappointing gut feeling you get when it does happen. It was, after all, your chance to give a piece of yourself to someone else, to have that great anticipation of seeing said piece drop almost assuredly in last place; OK, not last but it's gonna be the next one for sure; wait a minute, how do I have all ten of my nominations in the top five?! Oh, it's because you didn't nominate and you missed the topic like a total chump. I don't even know if any of that makes sense. Look, to summarize, it sucks, but you'll get over it. Most likely. I mean, I hope you will! Right?

Previous last places:
The sex scene in Friday the 13th remake (3 points)
THEN WHO WAS PHONE? (4.5 points)
Universal's Dark Universe (7 points)
Leaving the toilet seat up and sitting down at night. (6.5 points)

Missing the nominations period joins this hallowed hall of dregs & rejects. Dark Universe was scored a 5 in importance, which seems very high now after the success of The Invisible Man partly revolved around it not being in this awful, half-baked excuse of a cinematic universe. There are some fun things here though, perhaps I've even warmed up some to WHO WAS PHONE in particular. Friday the 13th sex scene can still shove it though.

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hell yeah. getting both first and last place. love to see it

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132. When you jump for the finish line in the Tip Toe mini game but a player behind you grabs you so you fall and get eliminated (5.5 points)
Nominated by: Bane_Of_Despair (2/3 remaining)
https://youtu.be/cJNLXynpNvk?t=152

Importance: 1
Fear: 2.5
Snake: 1

Back in late July/early August, a little known game called Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockdown took over the world by storm, capturing the attention of many gamers hardcore & casual alike. For a moment in time, it was a dash of welcomed positivity that kept us all engaged, connected & momentarily distracted from a year in shambles. Then you play Tip Toe, this happens, and you want to break your controller over your kneecap. Fall Guys is a magical game, at once a deceivingly innocent piece of media that houses some of the worst rage-inducing moments in the entire gaming industry, and it can all be initiated by merely one person who in an instance, can extract years of built-up angst & losses from your brain and turn them into expletives flying at the screen faster than you can even spit them out. However, It's the type of foundation competitive gaming is built upon, that cycle that keeps you coming back for more & more pain every time, until you achieve that elusive victory, maybe even becoming the person you hated all those matches ago, and starting that cycle anew for someone else.

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Tag

Do these normally finish on Halloween, Im guessing? Ive not followed any of the previous editions of this series, but Id be interested to go back and see previous results.

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Nah, as much as I would like it to, its simply not possible. Especially this year, which is the biggest ever. That said, I'm gonna try my damnedest to have four a day done so it might not be too long after Halloween this year!

You can see all my previous rankings through here if you're interested.
https://pastebin.com/RtP6pvU4

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Tag

Yessssssss

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oh yeah

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Woohoo!

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By the way, snake, this is the single topic I look most forward to every year.

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Oh hell yes, tag! These topics are always outstanding.

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Anagram posted...

By the way, snake, this is the single topic I look most forward to every year.

Xiahou Shake posted...

Oh hell yes, tag! These topics are always outstanding.

This really means the world to me, thank you so much!

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131. A forum eating your post for absolutely no reason (6 points)
Nominated by: NFUN (3/5 remaining)

Importance: 2
Fear: 3
Snake: 1

I had something else written here but my previous write-up got eaten.

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130. Rachel Carruthers (7 points)
Nominated by: RaidenGarai (4/5 remaining)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJ3kyQpJPtI

Importance: 2
Fear: 1
Snake: 4

A largely inessential final girl from a largely inessential slasher sequel. In typical Halloween franchise fashion, Rachel is a babysitter to a little girl, this time her adopted sister Jamie Lloyd. Though a plain character on the outset, Ellie Cornell does inject some amount of spunk into her character, but definitely not enough to separate her from her contemporaries if you ask me. She has a cliche boyfriend & a sexually promiscuous rival, all well-trodden ground even at the time of Halloween 4's release. The best parts of her character shine when's just hanging out with Jamie as her sister, sharing a close bond despite not being blood related. This stuff is definitely serviceable, and it does make the climax of the film, where she's trying to shake a crazed Michael off her car, slightly more exciting than it otherwise would be. Rachel is unceremoniously killed in the sequel, a rather contested & controversial death for the series. I too dislike when characters survive a movie just to die early on in the next, it's rather cruel & undeserved, as well as just a cheap too to platform off into the next forgettable plot. If not for this little bit though, I rather think Rachel would be an even more forgotten character than she already is.

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tag

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Yay, it's here!

Maybe I'll actually delve into others' nominations (beyond a few stories you've posted in full) this time.

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Wooooo, it begins! One of the best things about October.

Halloween IV is a missed opportunity for me because it was originally supposed to be part of Carpenter's planned anthology series, where each movie (after the first 2) would focus on something other than Michael Myers. Too bad that after Halloween 3, everyone demanded Michael back (the film didn't even do poorly financially). I'll always wonder what kind of interesting horror films could have been released under the Halloween name.

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jcgamer107 posted...

Wooooo, it begins! One of the best things about October.

Halloween IV is a missed opportunity for me because it was originally supposed to be part of Carpenter's planned anthology series, where each movie (after the first 2) would focus on something other than Michael Myers. Too bad that after Halloween 3, everyone demanded Michael back (the film didn't even do poorly financially). I'll always wonder what kind of interesting horror films could have been released under the Halloween name.

And what's weird is they could've had thier cake and eat it too. They could've made the Halloween anthology films and Myers films too I think. I mean I don't even like H3 but more original films would've still been neat. Eh, I guess Carpenter ended up making some better stuff anyway though.


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129. Chris Higgins (8.5 points)
Nominated by: RaidenGarai (3/5 remaining)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcb0vROvmWk

Importance: 2.5
Fear: 1
Snake: 4.5

Here we have yet another final girl, this time hailing from the Friday the 13th franchise. Despite being the first Friday survivor to clash against Jason while he was wearing his signature hockey mask, Chris is something of a disappointment to me in the franchise. Keep in mind, up until this point, Friday the 13th had not one, but two iconic final girls to its name, Alice & Ginny (more on her later), two memorable survivors that clashed against their respective antagonists in their own creative ways. Chris getting sloppy seconds with Jason isn't the reason she's disappointing to me though. It's really just the plain, simple fact that I can't remember a damn thing she does besides nailing Jason in his mask with an axe. Sure, she's tough, holds her own against Jason, but that alone a good final girl does not make. Without some substance, some character-revealing moments I can point to outside of something to do with the main antagonist, your character is really just going to be a big swing-and-a-miss for me. And this coming from a series with a better crop of heroes than most other slashers, Chris just really stands out as a sore spot in the Friday the 13th legacy.

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128. The Teen Comix meme (8.5 points)
Nominated by: NFUN (2/5 remaining)
Compilation: https://imgur.com/a/16xumTk


Importance: 2.5
Fear: 1
Snake: 5

I had never seen this meme before doing this year's rankings, but I have to say it's a pretty fun concept that's executed well. I think what really puls it together is the character design; this 90s try hard cool kid in sunglasses you'd see in like a Cookie Crisps commercial eating a bowl of cereal next to his bratty little sister. Then, you have the over-sized shirt and pose striking, like the shirt is made of iron and the stiff pose is the only way to comfortably wear that metal death trap. I also like the implication that everyone in this Teen Comix universe just wears shirts that describe what they're thinking at all times. It's a nonsense scenario that can only thrive in a classic three-panel comic set-up, and though I really didn't like many of the ones I saw (most of this meme is honestly just anime crap I have no connection to), the ones I did like were very well done and definitely got chuckles out of me. But, I also think it speaks to the mentality a lot of faux tough people have, when really there's like a million things to be scared of everyday and it's perfectly normal to feel that way, even down to the most simplistic & innocuous fears. No matter how much of a badass you think you are in your head, sometimes it's better to just let the fear take hold of you and see where that feeling takes you. To quote Taylor Swift, "Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death", and if you notice, the Teen Comix Dude still strikes his confident pose and stone-cold expression despite his new-found "one fear". Let's all try to be like Teen Comix Dude.


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Oh shit just saw the new topic

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127. Yakuza: Dead Souls (Game) (9 points)
Nominated by: Murphiroth (4/5 remaining)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efD9ue1NMX8

Importance: 2.5
Fear: 3
Snake: 3.5

I have a confession to make: this is the only Yakuza game I've ever played. It's not that I don't want to play them, but if you put zombies in it, well I guess that's a sure fire way of getting me to play that one first. And boy do I think this game sucks. I know that's it definitely not representative of the Yakuza series' typical rich detail, deep combat systems, & well-realized characters, but could they have at least tried a little harder to make it so? This is one of the most bland, empty looking zombie corridor shooters this side of Umbrella Corps, and I think that game had more personality to it (OK, let's not go that far). The gameplay is extremely clunky, shifting wildly between floating auto-aim jank, horrible lock-on systems that ensure you never feel in control of anything, and very half-baked vehicle segments. It's basically just the most mindless thing ever. If you like that sort of thing, more power to you, but I really dread the thought of ever having to play this ever again.

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I actually like Dead Souls, and that's pretty accurate. Some to a number of the side missions are very much in line with Yakuza side-missions, but it's... not a good time outside of them. And again, I did actually have something of a good time with it. ....Up until the final boss.

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Dead Souls remains the only translated Yakuza game that I haven't played. I feel like I'd get at least some kind of kick out of it, but it really sounds awful.

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Yeah while I've not played it that sounds super accurate to everything I've heard and seen of Dead Souls. It's sort of interesting in a meta sense that it was the team attempting to appeal to Western audiences before the series really blew up here.

It was also one of those cases where Sega was using it as a test case to bring the rest of the Yakuza series over, one of those deals where it needed to sell well for them to even think about it. It did not sell well at alllllll. As of last year, acording to VGChartz (https://www.vgchartz.com/game/47206/yakuza-dead-souls/sales) it's sold .61million worldwide. In 8 years.

Comparatively, as of last year, Sega reported in their October... end of financial year sales report, I think? That the series as a whole sold around 12 million copies. Across 92 fucking editions, mind you, but still. (Gematsu, https://www.gematsu.com/2019/10/sega-integrated-report-2019- updated-sales-numbers-persona-yakuza-sakura-wars-and-more) (Just remove the space between the dash after 2019 and updated)


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Damn, I'm really glad I own it on PS3 now! I really hate when companies do stuff like that though, it just feels so unfair for all involved.

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The one-two punch of Yakuza 5's miraculous localization and Yakuza 0 actually getting the series close to the mainstream eye is one of the greatest localization triumphs we've seen in the past couple generations. Hard to believe how much the script has flipped from the three year gap when everyone was convinced the series would just be abandoned over here.

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Gotta shout out the Super Best Friends Play as well, I fully believe they played a part in the boom of Yakuza in the west, pretty sure the localization lead has acknowledged as much. Off topic, they were directly responsible for Devolver approaching FromSoftware to remaster Metal Wolf Chaos. RIP SBFP.

Murphiroth posted...

Gotta shout out the Super Best Friends Play as well, I fully believe they played a part in the boom of Yakuza in the west, pretty sure the localization lead has acknowledged as much. Off topic, they were directly responsible for Devolver approaching FromSoftware to remaster Metal Wolf Chaos. RIP SBFP.

Now I am sad as I realize no more shitstorms of scariness

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At least there's still kinda sorta Matt's Nightmares.

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126. Christopher Robin Trailer Dub (9 points)
Nominated by: Jesse_Custer (4/5 remaining)
https://youtu.be/azEsDoQXkP0

Importance: 1
Fear: 3
Snake: 5

It's always pretty crazy to me how easy it is to make something horror with just a few sound effects & a darker edge filter. To be fair, the concept of a killer Pooh and the entire the 100-Acre Wood troupe does have some potential, but as this trailer shows, maybe more of a comedy horror type deal. No matter what you add to it, talking stuffed animals hitting and getting stuck to a car's window is just plain hilarious. Eeyore was the plain best here, in his trademark "sad" voice saying he wants to kill the whole family, that definitely got the biggest laugh out of me while still keeping some creepiness to the line too. As a joke, it's a fun video but not terribly original or groundbreaking, not that has it to be. Sometimes you just need to hear noted beloved children's icon Pooh say "bwood is thicker than honey", and this dub certainly delivers.

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Yakuza 0 has zombies in it!

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I like the concept behind the Pooh video but really don't care for the dub itself. He tries to fit lines in so rapid fire (sometimes lines even kind of run into each other) that it sounds completely unnatural and kills the immersion. The video could've been so much better if he had just slowed down some

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NFUN posted...

Yakuza 0 has zombies in it!

Huh, so it does!

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Not just zombies but an entire substory that's a nod to Dead Souls to the point where it even has Dead Souls music IIRC.

Branson Reese is great

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125. 9th Gate Malaysian Horror (9.5 points)
Nominated by: ihatethiscpu (4/5 remaining)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t9etXp4szM

Importance: 1
Fear: 4
Snake: 4.5

This very low-budget horror game comes from an area of horror we rarely if ever see in the gaming medium, and one I'm honestly not even the most well-versed. Being low budget however, concessions had to be made, and unfortunately, they are very much to the detriment of this game. It's a PT-lite, revolving around a loop & ritual that must be performed to continue on, all while a spirt of some sort is looking to make your day not-so-good. I like the idea of this game for sure, but honestly, the seemingly store-bought assets & overly-glossy "huge" look of simple in-game objects bring me out of the experience mighty quick. Ideas such as a listening mode and cell phone interface are half-done at best, and when the spirit does finally make itself known, the game does very little to sell you on the idea, expecting the gameplay and execution of it to carry the fear all its own. I don't want to bash on what is very much a smaller game company, there was clearly an effort here, with enjoyable voice acting in that survival horror sense and a potentially interesting plot. But, sometimes you have to work in your limits, and maybe this style of game just wasn't the right fit for them.

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