Current Events > My wife is applying for MAID (Medical assistance in death).

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DarthDemented
11/26/22 1:18:56 AM
#204:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
Had an 11 hour workday today that included 7 hours of driving around, 5 of those when it was pitch dark outside on the highway.

JAKAS is tired.
Geez I can't even drive an hour straight before my back starts excruciatingly hurting.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
11/27/22 10:46:32 AM
#205:


My wife and I both have some health insurance we pay into, and it seems her plan will give us up to 5k to get wheelchairs so long as her doctor says she could utilize them.

So we are gonna get a cheaper little "transport wheelchair" (designed just for me to push her) and then another one for her own use (electric or otherwise).

She isn't necessarily to the point of needing them, but honestly if MAID does accept her and she passes away, I would sell them very cheaply to someone in need or maybe even donate them to someone.

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SHRlKE
11/27/22 1:46:36 PM
#206:


Im amazed how even in such crap circumstances you continue to find the will to look to help others.
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SHRlKE
11/27/22 1:50:11 PM
#207:


Ironically talking to my wife right now as she was asking what I was posting about. She actually had a few symptoms of what your wife has but luckily she didnt in the end but she had heard of it when I mentioned it.
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spikethedevil
11/27/22 4:29:10 PM
#208:


SHRlKE posted...
Im amazed how even in such crap circumstances you continue to find the will to look to help others.


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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
11/28/22 6:57:40 PM
#209:


SHRlKE posted...
Im amazed how even in such crap circumstances you continue to find the will to look to help others.

Like, there is a logical side of me that knows not everyone thinks in the same terms as I do, but I really don't see how people wouldn't just pay it forward. Hell, if we get a 4k motorized wheelchair and I turn around and even sell it for like, 500 bucks... we've both just benefitted so much.

Why wouldn't everyone do that?

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
11/30/22 10:26:47 AM
#210:


Her meeting with her EDS specialist is coming up in December. He hasn't really looked at the MAID stuff yet (busy dude, has way too many patients for the amount of time he probably has) which has made my wife very mad. The failures of our medical system has made her take a lot of the failures/realities of medical support very personally. For these MAID papers obviously they are the most important thing to her right now and she hates the fact that for doctors and specialists she doesn't feel they see it in that way.

I don't know how often her EDS specialist sees these papers; maybe it is just another day for him. I'm not sure.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
11/30/22 10:30:17 AM
#211:


https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-maid-canada-mental-health-law/

Good article on the whole issue.

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SHRlKE
11/30/22 10:35:11 AM
#212:


Thanks for sharing.
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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/01/22 8:19:34 PM
#213:


SHRlKE posted...
Thanks for sharing.

No problem!

I go for my first solo session with our psychiatrist next week. I am such a huge proponent of seeing mental health professionals but I've never taken the opportunity to do so until my 38th year on this Earth.

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DarthDemented
12/01/22 11:07:05 PM
#214:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
No problem!

I go for my first solo session with our psychiatrist next week. I am such a huge proponent of seeing mental health professionals but I've never taken the opportunity to do so until my 38th year on this Earth.
So do YOU gotta see a psychiatrist as part of it or is this something separate?

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/01/22 11:22:16 PM
#215:


DarthDemented posted...
So do YOU gotta see a psychiatrist as part of it or is this something separate?

Something separate. Once we agreed this was the right course of action my wife basically demanded I start to work with a psychiatrist. I jumped in on some of hers to work together on some stuff and then I'm going to go for some solo sessions moving forward.

Plus I have 500 dollars I can claim on my health plan for it, might as well get what I can before the end of the year.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/04/22 12:06:42 PM
#216:


My wife's appointment with her EDS specialist is tomorrow. More clarity on everything tomorrow.

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SHRlKE
12/04/22 12:35:50 PM
#217:


Good luck
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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/05/22 9:48:12 AM
#218:


Her doctor should be calling anytime now.

I have to work soon so I won't be around for the entire thing.

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SHRlKE
12/05/22 12:06:04 PM
#219:


That sucks. Hope all goes / went well.
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#220
Post #220 was unavailable or deleted.
Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/05/22 2:39:54 PM
#221:


So her specialist said he couldn't really vouch for it, but also said the Sask Government is screwing with her a bit? He said he has had a lot of his patients go for MAID and none have ever had to have HIM give his opinion. He said he feels like the assessors are not sure what to do and want someone else to just say yes or not.

Our GP should be able to do it, but we recently changed GP's and the relationship we have with that one isn't super strong yet?

Also her EDS specialist did have some other things to try so he said he isn't totally out of options and treatment ideas YET. My wife is just not really wanting to continue to test medications for the rest of her life.

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darkmaian23
12/05/22 5:28:16 PM
#222:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
Also her EDS specialist did have some other things to try so he said he isn't totally out of options and treatment ideas YET. My wife is just not really wanting to continue to test medications for the rest of her life.
Did the specialist think some of these options might be strong enough to change her mind? I realize that the entire reason things like MAID exist is because sometimes things can't get better, but I've been hoping right along since you made this topic that you might encounter a treatment that might give your wife a fuller, happier life. Still keeping my fingers crossed for you man.

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Lorenzo_2003
12/05/22 5:37:51 PM
#223:


Bro, you and your wife are strong.

Your situation sounds mad frustrating but youre handling it. Youre both lucky to have each other. Thanks for still sharing your experience.

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SHRlKE
12/05/22 5:40:00 PM
#224:


My sister used to work in hospice - I have experience with a wide range of anecdotal evidence but take it with a pinch of salt.

So many stories of people who thought they were done and wanted to stop treatment only for them to find something that worked and give them another couple of years of a relatively happy life. On the flip side you do get people who have just had enough and want to pass on their own way without the hassle of constant prodding and new meds. Its an impossible situation to be in and Im sorry.

Just need to understand exactly why the consultant thinks these options might work when previous ones didnt. Is it because there is genuine reason to think they will work or, more cynically, do they just want some data on new relatively untested options to see what works and what doesnt.

How is your wives day to day life at the moment?
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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/07/22 1:33:58 AM
#225:


We are talking about what life looks like if MAID is just not an option. My wife would maybe be interested in working for an NPO that is designed to help people with rare/debilitating medical conditions. Do some work trying to connect others who are also in a bad way with the correct supports.

In March MAID opens up to those with mental health considerations, so she could apply again with her mental health considerations (alot of PTSD and anxiety/stress that can't be treated medically due to her MCAS) with the help of our psychologist.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/07/22 10:09:31 PM
#226:


My wife was admitted to hospital this morning. Lots of vomiting and just not a lot of control of her throat and such. Gonna be staying overnight. It causes a lot of anxiety and stress as it is a very traumatic place for her (as you would expect).

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Lorenzo_2003
12/08/22 12:35:01 AM
#227:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
My wife was admitted to hospital this morning. Lots of vomiting and just not a lot of control of her throat and such. Gonna be staying overnight. It causes a lot of anxiety and stress as it is a very traumatic place for her (as you would expect).

Sorry to hear that, man.

I never liked hospitals, but over time I started to really appreciate the medical teams there there. I hope you dont have to be there too long, though.

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SHRlKE
12/08/22 1:35:40 AM
#228:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
My wife was admitted to hospital this morning. Lots of vomiting and just not a lot of control of her throat and such. Gonna be staying overnight. It causes a lot of anxiety and stress as it is a very traumatic place for her (as you would expect).

Thinking of you guys. X
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DarthDemented
12/08/22 1:42:13 AM
#229:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
My wife was admitted to hospital this morning. Lots of vomiting and just not a lot of control of her throat and such. Gonna be staying overnight. It causes a lot of anxiety and stress as it is a very traumatic place for her (as you would expect).
Aw jeez dude. Keep us updated.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/08/22 11:58:37 AM
#230:


Still in hospital. Apparently you tell the emergency doctor that you have applied for MAID you suddenly get tests done faster? Gonna get a barium swallow to test that out and some neurological tests.

I went to my first solo therapy session with out psychologist. It was very good and will allow me to work on some of the mental health stuff I've encountered with my wife being in the state she is in.

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SHRlKE
12/08/22 12:18:23 PM
#231:


Fuck sake. Sorry bro. I think I mentioned a few times having family members with cancer etc and being in and out of hospital. Fucking awful to go through and my heart truly breaks for you. I hope your wife gets out soon and you get to spend some more good days together in the near future
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DarthDemented
12/08/22 12:43:07 PM
#232:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
Still in hospital. Apparently you tell the emergency doctor that you have applied for MAID you suddenly get tests done faster? Gonna get a barium swallow to test that out and some neurological tests.

I went to my first solo therapy session with out psychologist. It was very good and will allow me to work on some of the mental health stuff I've encountered with my wife being in the state she is in.
Maybe you get the tests done faster because they assume she tried to take matters into her own hands? That's the only thing I can think of.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/09/22 12:53:09 AM
#233:


In my first psychology solo session I kinda realized that while I can be emotional very easily, I'm not good at talking about my feelings? Specifically negative ones. I tend to logic my way out of those feelings or do a, "I feel angry but..." and totally invalidate myself? I also feel a lot of guilt about negative feelings I have about my marriage. I do this all the time in my marriage as y'all can tell that my wife has SO many things going on that are all shitty.

I'm allowed to feel things about our relationship too. Like today. It sucks that my day today was starting at the hospital, working 8 hours, and spending another 3+ hours at the hospital after that. It sucks and I didn't like it. I would have rather spent my time in any number of ways.

FEELING this way is valid and I need to not feel guilty about having those feelings. My wife is not responsible for that being what the reality of the situation is. I'm not blaming her for the situation in vocalizing that it sucks.

In my time with her tonight I opened up about some of the negatives about what our relationship looks like. I expressed my disappointment in some things, frustration with other things, and struggled very much doing so without feeling a tremendous crushing guilt over it. My hope is that being more open as much as I can will allow me to have negative feelings without feeling guilty about them.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/09/22 11:44:21 AM
#234:


And now my wife is getting some test results that could point to heart failure. It would explain the incredible nausea she went to hospital for I'm the first place and some of the generalized weakness she has had lately.

We both got COVID a few months ago. Wonder if her system couldn't handle it.

We dont know anything yet, she is looking at blood test results online because of course she does. Lol

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bsp77
12/09/22 11:47:09 AM
#235:


*Hugs*

You are such a good dude and I continue to hope the best for you and your wife, whatever that may be

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BakonBitz
12/09/22 12:29:34 PM
#236:


I just noticed this topic and my condolences. I have a difficult time expressing in the right way sometimes but I hope you two are able to get through this. The back and forth with trying to get MAID acceptance is definitely frustrating.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/09/22 4:23:53 PM
#237:


Some more clarity today.

Seems they aren't super concerned about the test results in regards to heart failure yet, but they want to keep her in hospital since her lung tests have been poor. Her oxygenation levels are good but her ability to breath in and out is "concerning"

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SHRlKE
12/09/22 7:03:33 PM
#238:


How are you feeling?
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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/09/22 8:06:20 PM
#239:


SHRlKE posted...
How are you feeling?

Being honest with my feelings? It sucks. I hate that I worked 11 days in a row (last weekend was my on-call) and on my day off it was spent in a hospital with my wife. I won't really "rest" for my weekend here and likely my wife is sticking around in there until the middle of next week. That sucks. I will have to bring her food due to her allergies and the hospital not being able to work around it. That sucks. My wife has anxiety and panic attacks due to medical PTSD and I will be consistently "on" throughout this time. That sucks. It is exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I know that next week I will go to the hospital before work starts to deliver food and good cheer (my wife loves me and just my presence helps to calm her down). I will work for 8 hours, I will prepare more food and deliver it after work, and likely will not return home until 10-11pm. And I will do it as many days as my wife is there. That sucks.

It is also true that I will continue to support my wife through this regardless of how much it sucks because I love her and she deserves that from me. I can and will give that.

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SHRlKE
12/10/22 4:03:42 AM
#240:


It is also true that I will continue to support my wife through this regardless of how much it sucks because I love her and she deserves that from me. I can and will give that.


Youre a good man Jeff. I cant really relate to this apart from to say my wife was in hospital earlier in the year for spinal surgery and she was in for over a week. I saw her every day and it was about a 90 minute trip away and after day 4 I found I was getting frustrated with losing 3 hours travel and probably another 2 hours while there every day and this was all after work.

Like you say the love you have just cant be ignored. It felt like a curse to me sometimes but thems the breaks and I dont think Id change a thing.

Have you told your work of your situation. Would have hoped theyd be a little more relaxed on your on call etc considering what you are going through so the fact they arent sucks ass.
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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/10/22 8:23:11 AM
#241:


Oh yeah my work knows. If it is necessary I can leave almost immediately to go do what I need to do. I can take days off if I need to. So I can do that when needed. They are wonderful about that.

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TetsuoS2
12/10/22 8:28:24 AM
#242:


I've only seen this topic properly today.

I wish you the best. I hope you can gather your thoughts and emotions well enough to help in whatever direction it goes.

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SHRlKE
12/10/22 9:54:30 AM
#243:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
Oh yeah my work knows. If it is necessary I can leave almost immediately to go do what I need to do. I can take days off if I need to. So I can do that when needed. They are wonderful about that.

Make sure you are being kind to yourself. Based on some of your posts I get the feeling you probably should be taking some more time off even if its just for yourself.
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Lorenzo_2003
12/10/22 11:03:14 AM
#244:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
It is also true that I will continue to support my wife through this regardless of how much it sucks because I love her and she deserves that from me. I can and will give that.

Thats it, right there.

None of this easy, but your love will make it easier.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/10/22 11:27:27 AM
#245:


I booked two more therapy sessions before the end of the year.

I have $500 a year on my plan to use, didn't start with him until a couple days ago... might as well use it all!

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/10/22 11:16:10 PM
#246:


Spent about 5 hours with my wife at the hospital today.

Still a lot of uncertainty about some test results and whatnot. Seems the muscles around her lungs are not working SUPER well, but also are not like dangerously bad? Some of the tests the neurologists have done are interesting in the sense that... OK, I'm going to try and explain it.

Try to play an imaginary piano or type at a typewriter. When my wife tried to do those things, her fingers moved almost in a jittery way? There was no fluid movement to her fingers. The same thing happened when he asked my wife to take her finger and put it on her nose and then reach out to his finger basically at arms length away. Again, not a fluid movement from my wife doing that, it was kinda jittery?

The main hospital in our city is also a teaching hospital so the neurologists had students with them and apparently from what my wife remembers hearing, they said, "Well that's not good" and then kinda walked off.

I am now home to rest and whatnot (I've been kinda sick lately) and they have now called for an ECG just to check her heart health (she has a pacemaker and a connective tissue problem so you know... heart troubles could be likely) to rule things out.

Shitty thing about all this is she is still not technically in a ward yet. She's been there since Wednesday and they still don't actually have her admitted to a ward, so she's sitting in an intermediary area that is very prison-like. Used to be for PEDS and then a mental health ward so the doors lock automatically and it's not very... stimulating.

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Lorenzo_2003
12/11/22 4:39:40 AM
#247:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
The main hospital in our city is also a teaching hospital so the neurologists had students with them and apparently from what my wife remembers hearing, they said, "Well that's not good" and then kinda walked off.

Damn it.

That makes me angry for her. They need to be more discreet or just shut their mouths with comments like that, at least around patients. I hope it was just a misunderstanding.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/11/22 9:55:32 AM
#248:


Lorenzo_2003 posted...
Damn it.

That makes me angry for her. They need to be more discreet or just shut their mouths with comments like that, at least around patients. I hope it was just a misunderstanding.

Well she was admitted for neurology so

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/12/22 8:59:40 PM
#249:


Harder day for my wife today. Struggling with some darker thoughts than usual (PTSD from hospitals is pretty bad and she can't take meds for the anxiety it creates) after speaking with psychiatry and whatnot. She is just so disheartened that nothing has happened yet for these tests. Like we get it on a rational level but... emergency admitting you'd think would lead to fast service. Triage isn't so kind but ugh.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/12/22 9:15:49 PM
#250:


Ohhh my goodness, FINALLY!

Seems they are FINALLY moving her away from this dank prison like atmosphere and moving her to the regular wards. My plan will pay for semi-private rooms and so that is what we will request if they are available.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/13/22 10:10:23 PM
#251:


She did have a heart echo done which is one thing at least. They are concerned about maybe a blood clot so they are doing a VQ? Test?

My wife personalizes so much when it comes to health care as part of her trauma. So today when she overheard a nurse asking another one why my wife was there, my wife took it as them thinking she is faking things, that she is unworthy of care, etc.

I honestly think being a nurse is hard and they forgot what the plan was for my wife, but it set her down a very negative mental health day today. =/

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
12/14/22 10:50:05 AM
#252:


Seems a bunch of tests have been ordered and are coming in today. Huzzah!

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TaylorHeinicke
12/14/22 11:12:08 AM
#253:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
I will have to bring her food due to her allergies and the hospital not being able to work around it.
This is one of the more baffling things I've read in this thread. A hospital doesn't have the capacity to work around allergies?

Or are your wife's allergies like, all over the place

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