Poll of the Day > Seeking life advice on PotD.

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HornedLion
10/07/22 12:39:35 PM
#1:


For the second time in my life Ive encountered at interesting personality type:

African American Male, early 50s, came from a humble past but has risen above that and climbed the corporate ladder. Being in a high position they naturally get the respect and admiration of the office.

Now, I come in and am a good listener have good ideas and work ethic and dont cause a lot of waves or any for that matter. People begin to talk positively about me, and generally like me.

I have no issue with the guy I mentioned but he soon begins to show signs of dislike towards me. He is the only one I cannot win over. And whats worse, it seems like he is actively working to undermine me and make me out to look bad in front of others.

I failed at handling this situation once before by clashing with the person, pointing out their stupidity, and eventually just giving up and moving on as the juice was not worth the squeeze. These types really do care about the business just like I do but where we differ is that they prioritize being the most loved and respected above the business itself. So yeah, Ive failed at handling this before and itd be sad if I repeated the same mistake again that would show no growth on my part. But I am also kinda stumped. So help me out, PotD?

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Cacciato
10/07/22 1:15:18 PM
#2:


Sounds like he has good instincts.
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HornedLion
10/07/22 1:16:37 PM
#3:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/2/3/AAckHXAADwSf.jpg

Maybe. But thats why Im asking to get opinions.

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ZangsBeard
10/07/22 1:18:17 PM
#4:


HornedLion posted...
that would show no growth on my part.

And yet... you're asking for help here.

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SoreChasm
10/07/22 1:24:01 PM
#5:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/2/8/AAPtSiAADwSk.png
I'm sure someone here will be able to help you out. :)

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wolfy42
10/07/22 1:28:15 PM
#6:


Communication is key. Pull him to the side some time and let him know you feel like he doesn't like you, that he seems to talking about you negatively etc. Confront the issue head on, but talk to him man to man first. If he escalates or does not agree to back down, go to HR and explain the issue, that you took him aside and talked to him, and that he seems to be trying to create a negative work environment for you. Tell them that you are not directly complaining nor do you want anything done at this time, but you want them aware of the situation in case things get worse.

You won't always get along with everyone, and the dude might just not like you, which is fine. It's not fine if he lets that dislike affect his job, your work envirnment, or causes other people to start reacting negatively around you. I suggest you also keep your phone ready to record and record any negative comments he makes about you either directly to you, or to another employee or group. If he does not stop and you have such recordings you can go to HR, show them the recordings and have them directly step in.

Always treat him professionally even if he does not do the same to you. don't let him anger you or cause you to react in any way other than professionally. Get proof of his actions and he will not be there for long. Even if he has clout in upper management etc, if you actually have proof they will be forced to let him go or you will have a strong case for a lawsuit against them.

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Tacobot 3000 "Saving the world from not having tacos."
Friends don't make their friends die Hanz. Psychopathic friends do.
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Jen0125
10/07/22 1:29:13 PM
#7:


Actually if anything I'm a Cacciato simp tbh
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HornedLion
10/07/22 1:39:59 PM
#8:


ZangsBeard posted...
And yet... you're asking for help here.

I lold.

wolfy42 posted...
Communication is key. Pull him to the side some time and let him know you feel like he doesn't like you, that he seems to talking about you negatively etc. Confront the issue head on, but talk to him man to man first. If he escalates or does not agree to back down, go to HR and explain the issue, that you took him aside and talked to him, and that he seems to be trying to create a negative work environment for you. Tell them that you are not directly complaining nor do you want anything done at this time, but you want them aware of the situation in case things get worse.

You won't always get along with everyone, and the dude might just not like you, which is fine. It's not fine if he lets that dislike affect his job, your work envirnment, or causes other people to start reacting negatively around you. I suggest you also keep your phone ready to record and record any negative comments he makes about you either directly to you, or to another employee or group. If he does not stop and you have such recordings you can go to HR, show them the recordings and have them directly step in.

Always treat him professionally even if he does not do the same to you. don't let him anger you or cause you to react in any way other than professionally. Get proof of his actions and he will not be there for long. Even if he has clout in upper management etc, if you actually have proof they will be forced to let him go or you will have a strong case for a lawsuit against them.

True. Sucks because me and him actually care about the company. Were both passionate about it.

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HornedLion
10/07/22 1:44:27 PM
#9:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/4/3/AAckHXAADwSz.jpg

I hope so.

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GanglyKhan
10/07/22 1:47:32 PM
#10:


Half of the corporate game is garnering favor from your peers and leadership. That much is true and I don't think he's in the wrong for trying to do so. If you want to climb the ladder, you have to play the social aspect as well, being passionate about the job and doing it well is like 2/3 of the total equation. Anyway, that's kind of a side bar thing, but it does make me think that maybe he's seeing that you don't prioritize "being (most) loved and respected." It could be that he can see you don't command (directly or otherwise) respect from the rest of your team and he might have issue with that.

Now that all being said, I think it's a HORRIBLE option to assume anything of the man lol I would echo similar sentiment from wolfy and have a 1 on 1 with the guy. Mind your language, not like swearing, but avoid the "you" statements, don't make it right vs wrong, make it clear you wish to cooperate and grow as a team, etc; I'd still avoid HR at the end of the day if he just doesn't like you. It's not a fireable offense to just not enjoy everyone you work with.

Anyway, good luck to you, TC.
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wwinterj25
10/07/22 1:50:13 PM
#11:


Ask him out on a date to assert your dominance. That'll show him!

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SoreChasm
10/07/22 1:52:15 PM
#12:


HornedLion posted...
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/4/3/AAckHXAADwSz.jpg

I hope so.
I'm Sarcasthma, broseph.

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HornedLion
10/07/22 2:01:13 PM
#13:


wwinterj25 posted...
Ask him out on a date to assert your dominance. That'll show him!

I have heard that if I pounded him out good it would increase his estrogen levels, and make him more submissive.

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Century: Age Of Ashes is the greatest dragon riding game to ever exist and it's FREE.
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wolfy42
10/07/22 2:04:06 PM
#14:


HornedLion posted...
I have heard that if I pounded him out good it would increase his estrogen levels, and make him more submissive.

Aha, that is how you get most guys to like the new She Hulk series I guess.

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Tacobot 3000 "Saving the world from not having tacos."
Friends don't make their friends die Hanz. Psychopathic friends do.
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Jen0125
10/07/22 2:57:01 PM
#15:


SoreChasm posted...
I'm Sarcasthma, broseph.

It's true

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/7/0/AAAgaZAADwTO.jpg
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Zenithian_Legend
10/07/22 3:19:17 PM
#16:


wwinterj25 posted...
Ask him out on a date to assert your dominance. That'll show him!

Exactly TC, you said you know a handsome man when you see one. Assert yourself!

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SoreChasm
10/07/22 3:21:34 PM
#17:


Thanks for the assist, Jen

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Jen0125
10/07/22 4:26:32 PM
#18:


SoreChasm posted...
Thanks for the assist, Jen

Anytime
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JigsawTDCII
10/07/22 6:16:40 PM
#19:


no, I *am* Sarcasthmacus!
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SoreChasm
10/07/22 11:58:16 PM
#20:


Well I'm Dirty Dan.

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