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Jagus
10/21/25 10:24:55 PM
#1:


begging you to turn it down, is a type of torture or assault? I kept begging my cousin and said I was uncomfortable and he texted me back smiley faces saying he was going to blast it louder.

He had a bunch of speakers in every inch of his apartment, and he turned the music on horrifically loud at 12 am, after a wedding when we were all tired. then he started mocking me for forgetting my earplugs.

I was in so much pain I literally ran out the apartment and ran several doors down and I still could hear the music. I could not leave because I was visiting and didn't have a car or money for an uber. I never imagined I would have to escape my cousin.

I believe what he did to me was assault. People will think I'm being melodramatic, but volume is physically painful and dangerous and he threatened to turn it up louder with a smile on his face. then later he tried to defend it it with "explanations" during his "apology" to me.

His excuse is he didn't know loud volume could hurt people or cause hearing damage or tinnitus. He said "I wasn't thinking of that."

I told my dad not to let the bastard into our house for Eid (muslim holiday), he did so anyway. Then the bastard hugged me without my consent while I was sitting and couldn't escape.

I was so triggered by what he did to me. And other abusive things he's done to me, like locking me out of his apartment for refusing to sort his trash in Japan, or taking me to extremely loud and close fireworks and refusing to leave) I told him to leave and never come back or I'd call the cops.

His wife was pregnant and she heard what I said to him and almost miscarried.

Everyone in the house turned against me and thinks I'm the asshole for threatening the cops on him. But I gave him several chances to apologize for all the things he did, like his constant racist comments against Mexicans and Jews and other stuff, and he just kept being evasive and trying to defend himself which led to my meltdown.

I apologized to his wife. She accepted it because she is nice. But I am so beyond pissed I warned my dad several times in detail, listing all the horrible things he did to me, and my dad still let him in the house after lying about how he'd tried to stop him.

I'm sorry if this is hard to follow. I'm having a hard time because I'm currently having traumatic flashbacks. I just want people to know the US govenrment literaelly tortured terrorists in Guantanomo by blasting horrifically loud music.

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MagiMarthKoopa
10/21/25 11:02:58 PM
#2:


Causing irreversible hearing damage should be treated as assault, yes
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Jagus
10/21/25 11:04:57 PM
#3:


MagiMarthKoopa posted...
Causing irreversible hearing damage should be treated as assault, yes

if I didnt run out when I did, I have no idea what would have happened to me. I was in pain. I think he has hearing loss from music festivals without ear plugs

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monkmith
10/21/25 11:18:13 PM
#4:


its a pretty common torture tactic yes. remember hearing this horror story about a guy who got held captive for like a decade by some drug cartel, they wanted to ransom him for millions he and his family didn't have, and they had him locked in a room with horrifically loud music blasting for years.

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buddah86
10/21/25 11:19:36 PM
#5:


How quickly you can get hearing damage/loss needs to be more common knowledge. Its irreversible and can leave you with tinnitus (the ringing sound).

Below is a chart of noises and decibel levels. At 85db, you can go up to 8 hours before hearing damage.

The scary part, every 3 db after that, you HALVE the time you can withstand before permanent damage. Be careful wjth your hearing!!!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/1632377a.jpg

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ssjevot
10/21/25 11:24:37 PM
#6:


In general there needs to be more appreciation for how annoying noise can be for people around you. So many people just do not care if anyone else is being affected negatively.

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Mr_Karate_II
10/21/25 11:34:43 PM
#7:


Unfortunately I doubt playing loud music is considered assault. If anything you'd have to prove intent but I would bet the cops would say it's a civil matter. The most they could have done was give him a warning or citation for loud music after a certain time.

Do you not live on your own? If you live with your dad or parents and your name isn't on the lease/deed then you can't really tell the people who are on it to not allow certain people in the home.

It sucks but that's how it goes and your cousin sounds like a prick

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Jagus
10/21/25 11:35:50 PM
#8:


I live with my parents. I doubt its legally assault, i just meant in the literal sense.

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darkknight109
10/22/25 12:02:22 AM
#9:


Jagus posted...
I doubt its legally assault
Depending on where you live, it actually would be, yes.

Assault need not be a physical attack (that's what differentiates it from the crime of "battery" in jurisdictions that separate the two); anything that causes harm or invokes a fear of harm in the victim can be prosecuted as assault.

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thenotoriouscat
10/22/25 12:04:32 AM
#10:


MagiMarthKoopa posted...
Causing irreversible hearing damage should be treated as assault, yes


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sfcalimari
10/22/25 12:26:03 AM
#11:


Assault is fear of being harmed. Battery is actually being harmed.

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Evening_Dragon
10/22/25 12:47:51 AM
#12:


TC, are you taking your meds without interference from substances like weed or alcohol? It feels like you've made multiple topics about family and friends attacking you in relatively short order.

That being said, I am also quite protective of my hearing. Tinnitus is horrifying, and I want to keep mine from being a constant.

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Jagus
10/22/25 12:50:23 AM
#13:


Evening_Dragon posted...
TC, are you taking your meds without interference from substances like weed or alcohol? It feels like you've made multiple topics about family and friends attacking you in relatively short order.

That being said, I am also quite protective of my hearing. Tinnitus is horrifying, and I want to keep mine from being a constant.

Yes. Im on a mood stabilizer and antidepressant and am clean. I think school is exacerbating my stress, so any incidents of being yelled at are gonna trigger me

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Tyranthraxus
10/22/25 1:17:51 AM
#14:


Jagus posted...
His wife was pregnant and she heard what I said to him and almost miscarried.

This happened

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Turbam
10/22/25 1:37:06 AM
#15:


Jagus posted...
? I kept begging my cousin and said I was uncomfortable and he texted me back smiley faces saying he was going to blast it louder.
Wow
What an asshole

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Mr_Karate_II
10/22/25 2:00:52 AM
#16:


Tyranthraxus posted...
This happened
It's not out of the realm of possibility as stress can cause a miscarriage.

It might not even take a lot of stress to do it either.

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TraurigAberWahr
10/22/25 2:02:38 AM
#17:


Yes. It can cause ears to bleed. If that happens you can press charges.
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Mr_Karate_II
10/22/25 2:15:39 AM
#18:


TraurigAberWahr posted...
Yes. It can cause ears to bleed. If that happens you can press charges.
Wouldn't it be OPs word against their cousin's word? I just know how cops tend to operate.

Anyway OP, you should get your own place away from your family

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Purple_Cheetah
10/22/25 2:25:37 AM
#19:


I saw someone earlier this year get stuck with tinnitus because of crap like this... so now they have to live with that. So yeah.

Reminds me of a very long time ago, probably 20-22 years ago. My cousin and his friend came over, the friend had a cap gun. Fired it inside the house in a room with echo. I told him not to use it in the house because it's both a fire hazard and damages hearing. I shit you not, about 1 minute later he fires off another pop within a foot of my ear.

I immediately grabbed him up from his seat and dragged him to the door to throw him out. He wasn't allowed back inside ever since and was flying off the handle like 'how dare I do that'. That's the only time I've physically removed someone like that.
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MarshMellow
10/22/25 3:08:37 AM
#20:


How do you keep ending up in the same apartment as this person? Why visit or have anything to do with someone who has a history of being an asshole?
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ai123
10/22/25 3:24:22 AM
#21:


It's a shitty and dangerous thing to do. This cousin seems like an entitled prick who was never told 'no' in his life.

No idea what the legal position is. If you were confined in a room with no way to escape, then that would seem like assault/torture. However, if you were free to simply leave and walk away from it, then it's probably more of a civil/nuisance case of someone playing their music too loud.

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Smiffwilm
10/22/25 3:25:31 AM
#22:


You literally answered it in your topic title: "victim"

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GGuirao13
10/22/25 4:04:28 AM
#23:


Absolutely.

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Rika_Furude
10/22/25 6:19:32 AM
#24:


MagiMarthKoopa posted...
Causing irreversible hearing damage should be treated as assault, yes
causing any hearing damage even if it is reversable should be treated as assault
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Unsuprised_Pika
10/22/25 6:32:42 AM
#25:


ssjevot posted...
In general there needs to be more appreciation for how annoying noise can be for people around you. So many people just do not care if anyone else is being affected negatively.

Anyone dining out watching tiktok or loud music or whatever at their table the whole time should be taken outside and beaten tbh.

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Trumpo
10/22/25 6:49:39 AM
#26:


Do the same when they are sleeping

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Jagus
10/22/25 8:46:49 AM
#27:


MarshMellow posted...
How do you keep ending up in the same apartment as this person? Why visit or have anything to do with someone who has a history of being an asshole?

he is my cousin and sometimes i visit relatives. He grew progressively worse over time. I only know of this site due to him. He was my role model growing up. It took effort for me to stop liking him

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tripleh213
10/22/25 9:36:23 AM
#28:


What is this topic?

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Jagus
10/22/25 1:58:18 PM
#29:


I remember when my cousin took me to see a movie called Mother by Darren Arronofsky and I literally had a breakdown and started wailing in the theater because of how traumatic it was when a violent mob abducted a baby, snapped its neck, and then devoured it, for the mother to discover the skeleton put up like a thanksgiving turkey.

years later instead of knowing that i'm sensitive, he took me to another awful movie called civil war which was extremely violent and negative, and had super realistic extremely loud gunshots. i had to look away from the screen.

i hate that asshole with all my heart.

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ai123
10/22/25 2:05:41 PM
#30:


Jagus posted...
I remember when my cousin took me to see a movie called Mother by Darren Arronofsky and I literally had a breakdown and started wailing in the theater because of how traumatic it was when a violent mob abducted a baby, snapped its neck, and then devoured it, for the mother to discover the skeleton put up like a thanksgiving turkey.

years later instead of knowing that i'm sensitive, he took me to another awful movie called civil war which was extremely violent and negative, and had super realistic extremely loud gunshots. i had to look away from the screen.

i hate that asshole with all my heart.
I have to wonder why you are going to the cinema with someone you hate to see films that disturb you.

Once, maybe. But twice? Why are you relying on this arsehole to choose films that are suitable for you?

(Friendly heads up: your post contains spoilers for Mother. Use the tags).

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Jagus
10/22/25 2:08:08 PM
#31:


ai123 posted...
I have to wonder why you are going to the cinema with someone you hate to see films that disturb you.

Once, maybe. But twice?

(Friendly heads up: your post contains spoilers for Mother. Use the tags).

He is my cousin and was my role model. I didn't think he'd be idiotic enough to take me to horrifically traumatic movies, especially after I had a breakdown the first time. I trusted my family. This is just victim blaming rhetoric and I'm disgusted. I do not just immediately cut off my family when I have bad experiences. It takes being traumatized over and over and over.

I did not hate him at the time I saw the movies with him. I just wanted to see movies with my cousin whom I loved who was visiting me. It was the volume incident that finally broke my back.

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ai123
10/22/25 2:12:15 PM
#32:


Jagus posted...
He is my cousin and was my role model. I didn't think he'd be idiotic enough to take me to horrifically traumatic movies, especially after I had a breakdown the first time. I trusted my family. This is just victim blaming rhetoric and I'm disgusted.
This is the same cousin that tortures you with loud music, and took you to a film that disturbed you.

And you thought it was a good idea to go again?

You have to exercise some judgement and take steps to protect yourself from someone who you know full well treats you badly. There's a difference between victim blaming and telling someone not to keep falling for the same trick.

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Jagus
10/22/25 2:13:38 PM
#33:


The volume thing came after the movies.

You are victim blaming me. It is not normal to think of your family whom you love and respect as a dangerous person you have to avoid. After the volume incident, I do hate him now and avoid him. It is natural, and not wrong, for people to forgive their family over negative things.

The evil asshole is him. I literally did nothing wrong. He wasn't some kind of serial killer trying to "trick me," he was my family member whom I trusted.

It is fucking idiotic to assume that because someone took you to a bad movie once, they would do that every single time they met you. I figured after my breakdown he would understand I can't handle stuff like that, but he didn't care.

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ai123
10/22/25 2:17:20 PM
#34:


Jagus posted...
The volume thing came after the movies.

You are victim blaming me. It is not normal to think of your family whom you love and respect as a dangerous person you have to avoid. After the volume incident, I do hate him now and avoid him. It is natural, and not wrong, for people to forgive their family over negative things.

The evil asshole is him. I literally did nothing wrong. He wasn't some kind of serial killer trying to "trick me," he was my family member whom I trusted.

It is fucking idiotic to assume that because someone took you to a bad movie once, they would do that every single time they met you. I figured after my breakdown he would understand I can't handle stuff like that, but he didn't care.
It's perfectly normal to trust people until they violate your trust. Then you avoid them wherever possible.

But you're an adult and can make your own decisions.

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Jagus
10/22/25 2:19:56 PM
#35:


It is not normal to cut off your family whom you love and respect and looked up to your entire life over bad things here and there. It is more common and natural to forgive them and try to move past them. I had several good memories of him and happiness. It is ENTIRELY unrealistic to expect someone to immediately bin their family member over negative incidents that weren't intended to be malicious. It IS natural to forgive your family when you have good memories of them.

It's not like he took me to the movie ON PURPOSE with the intention of hurting me.

You are an evil person, who instead of condemning the abuser, you blame the victim. I have no words for you, I am literally shaking. I will not be responding any further. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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DrizztLink
10/22/25 2:44:26 PM
#36:


Jagus posted...
It is not normal to cut off your family whom you love and respect and looked up to your entire life over bad things here and there.
Ok, but

Jagus posted...
i hate that asshole with all my heart.

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Jagus
10/22/25 2:44:48 PM
#37:


And? What's your point? I'm not allowed to hate him now?

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DrizztLink
10/22/25 2:46:02 PM
#38:


The point is "make up your mind with this weird fucking gimmick topic."

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Jagus
10/22/25 2:46:48 PM
#39:


This isn't a weird gimmick topic, this is my traumatic abuse, and there is NOTHING inconsistent about loving him in the past, and hating him now, AFTER all he did to me.

Your reading comprehension is truly awful. Evil person, I'm not responding to you

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DrizztLink
10/22/25 2:50:07 PM
#40:


By all means, bury your head in the sand and keep hanging out with your abuser because you share a teeny little bit of DNA.

Then get all pissy at people telling you to quit hanging out with the guy who keeps causing you all this trauma.

Would you prefer to actually get better, or would you prefer to still have this in the back pocket for complaining purposes?

You have exactly two options, one of them is not going to fucking work.

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A_Good_Boy
10/22/25 2:51:57 PM
#41:


Were you the only one at the apartment with him after the wedding? Your post suggests others were there too. What did they all say about the loud music at midnight?

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Jagus
10/22/25 2:52:48 PM
#42:


A_Good_Boy posted...
Were you the only one at the apartment with him after the wedding? Your post suggests others were there too. What did they all say about the loud music at midnight?

Only his wife was there and she is used to listening to music at that volume. She most likely has hearing loss as well

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A_Good_Boy
10/22/25 2:55:00 PM
#43:


Jagus posted...
Only his wife was there and she is used to listening to music at that volume. She most likely has hearing loss as well
What was happening at the time when he decided to blast his music? Seems kind of odd for him to just randomly walk up to his speakers after a wedding and then just blast them at midnight. Was he drunk? Was there a party at the time? How did this all come about?

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Jagus
10/22/25 2:57:11 PM
#44:


A_Good_Boy posted...
What was happening at the time when he decided to blast his music? Seems kind of odd for him to just randomly walk up to his speakers after a wedding and then just blast them at midnight. Was he drunk? Was there a party at the time? How did this all come about?

We just got to his apartment after the wedding. Literally that's it. He doesn't drink. He is literally just a douchebag who blasts his music as loud as possible at night without concern for others. He tries to turn his apartment into an EDM festival or blasts trap rap.

I was visiting my cousin. I traveled to Illinois. I usually hang out with him when I visit, and while he's been an asshole, he was never so absurdly sadistic, especially when I was tired, until that point. Up until then I just brushed him off as having douchebag qualities but overall being good

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A_Good_Boy
10/22/25 2:58:17 PM
#45:


Jagus posted...
We just got to his apartment after the wedding. Literally that's it. He doesn't drink. He is literally just a douchebag who blasts his music as loud as possible at night without concern for others.

I was visiting my cousin. I traveled to Illinois. I usually hang out with him when I visit, and while he's been an asshole, he was never so absurdly sadistic, especially when I was tired, until that point. Up until then I just brushed him off as having douchebag qualities but overall being good
I can't imagine he's popular with his neighbors if this is just something he does at random all the time.

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Jagus
10/22/25 2:58:42 PM
#46:


A_Good_Boy posted...
I can't imagine he's popular with his neighbors if this is just something he does at random all the time.

He has been robbed before so you might be on to something

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Mr_Karate_II
10/22/25 4:29:44 PM
#47:


OP, it is absolutely normal to cut family members from your life. I've had to do it a few times because it was always the same shit with them and they thought they were better than anyone else.

I don't know who told you wasn't normal but their full of shit

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Jagus
10/22/25 4:30:46 PM
#48:


I cut him out now. My point is its normal to love and forgive your family and I shouldnt be victim blamed for my abuse by not abandoning him sooner.

this is the same as blaming a victim of domestic violence for not leaving sooner.

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kingdrake2
10/22/25 4:33:39 PM
#49:


Jagus posted...
I remember when my cousin took me to see a movie called Mother by Darren Arronofsky and I literally had a breakdown and started wailing in the theater because of how traumatic it was


i probably would bawl my eyes out over that too :(.

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DrizztLink
10/22/25 4:33:53 PM
#50:


You don't seem to understand the concept of victim blaming.

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