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Rohkey

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Last Post: 10:11:32pm, 06/19/2018
I mean, I don't know what counts as the "commonly broken ones." But I've had sex in public quite a bit.

The craziest one was when my (now) fiancee and I went to Germany and Belgium for a half vacation and half academic conference. The story of how we were there together was pretty crazy but I won't go into that.

Anyways it's early September and we're in Cologne walking around. We find one of the two only places in the city that have Oktoberfestbier at this time (it was obviously pretty early for Oktoberfest). We end up drinking two litres of Oktoberfestbier each along with 2-3 tall glasses of Dunkels. So, we're super wasted and also just pretty high on life since it's the first time either one of us had been to Germany (we're Americans), and we're also a new-ish couple at this point (long story). We end up trying to walk the mile or so back to the hotel but somehow (my memory of this is pretty hazy) we end up finding an open door leading down to what I think was a shared washer/dryer room for an apartment of something. We're fucking against the washing machine for a while but she sees a cockroach and we hear some people nearby so she pulls up her pants and we again begin to stumble towards our hotel. A few blocks later we're now in the middle of a square next to some sort of map/street sign fucking while people are walking by. I have no recollection of this part, but she says a bunch of people were cheering and watching. Eventually we move to the stoop of a building that we thought was abandoned and again start going at it. We hear an Asian lady yell something and we realize we're fucking next to her door, so we're both trying to get dressed but the lady opens the door and starts yelling "OH MY GOD" over and over at the top of her lungs. She was calling someone else over and said something about the police as well. We ran off and got a few blocks away before eventually deciding to just get a cab and do our business back at the hotel.

Looking back, I imagine we're pretty damn lucky we didn't get arrested.
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