I've made it to 100 days sober. I would say the last 10 or so days haven't been good to be physically and emotional. I'm not sure if they're because of withdrawal symptoms though. I've been feeling very tired and restless even insomnia. I also have recently been feeling lonely, inadequate and I don't matter to anyone.

I live in Japan and have lived here for 9 years, and this seems to only amplify everything. I have no friends in this area and the friends I did have I cut out because I don't drink anymore. I work out and read. Basically pursue my own goals, but it's hard to find the drive to feel good about yourself when no one around you seems to notice or validate your existence. I feel if I moved back home a lot of these problems wouldn't even be problems at all.

I'm also feel like there is nothing to gauge my progress. What am I doing with myself? I'm doing a lot of positive things for myself like not drinking and lifting 3 times a week for the past 3 months. But what's the point? I've honestly been trying to rationalize suicide even though I wouldn't do it.

I did save 2,200USD. 200 of that just from saving coins. Not drinking really goes a long way.
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Tonberryking, the protector of all Tonberries.

100 days sober

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