myghostisdead posted...
It is hard to tell family and friends no and many of the ones who realize that will constantly prey upon your kindness. I am sorry you are going through this. Practice no. Also, your brother needs to take back a little more control of his life but if you try to talk to him about it or might make both him and her mad. It is a touchy situation.
I get lots of practice saying no with my dad. My brother has just never asked for anything before. I knew it was a massive blow to his pride to ask, so I decided to help. I just had no idea the shape they were truly in until yesterday.
Far-Queue posted...
Don't give them any more money. Full stop.
I have a brother like this. He would lie and use his kids to guilt me into giving him money. It will never end unless you end it. You gotta just cut them off and let them fend for themselves.
Your brother his a grown man and should be able to fend for himself. He needs to get control of the finances away from his spouse and either work out a budget with her and oversee the spending, or cut her out of budgeting responsibilities all together if she is unable or unwilling to cooperate and control her spending. Give your brother this advice and be done with it. You're not responsible for their situation and you shouldn't be made to feel like a bad relative or feel guilty for refusing to flush your hard-earned money down
their
toilet of debt.
Trust me, we were all telling him to get her away from his accounts. I told him to open a chine account and have his pay deposited directly to that instead, and keep it locked out of her control. At least until he gets things caught up and under control.
At the rate they're going, he's afraid they'll lose their house because he can't afford the $700.
But yeah, after this, I'm not giving them a dime unless it's a true emergency or he gets things under control.