wpot posted...
But that's the problem: this isn't helping. It's enabling a destructive lifestyle that is going to ruin...well, all of you.
If it keeps food on his table, his lights on, and helps him keep his house I'm ok with it as it is. I didn't figure I'd be getting this money back when I agreed to give it. Like I said though, I'm not giving him any more money after this. Fortunately my parents can't get much money, and I can now refuse due to not currently working.
adjl posted...
You offered it to him to help get a car. If he then got a car through another method, he should be returning it because the reason you gave it to him no longer applies. If he keeps it despite not needing it for the purpose you intended, he's just taking advantage of you.
I suppose so. I guess my mindset is that I gave it to help them out, and if he used it to help catch up his bills then it's still helping him.
Idk, I understand I'm naive and easily taken advantage of though. He's just never been the one doing it before now so maybe I'm just not seeing it the same way.
argonautweakend posted...
My thought still stands: money or the car. Or actually car or nothing. You NEED that money. They don't because they aren't poor, they just mismanage their finances to insane levels.
I've never been in this situation with family, and with friends I've never lent more than maybe a couple hundred out, so I can't say i've ever loaned somebody 1,500, but I'd be madder than hell trying to get that money back.
I guess it's the fact that I already assumed I'd never get it back that makes it easier to accept(aside from the fact that I've basically been raised to be taken advantage of). I just had no idea how badly she's mismanaged things. That was an eye opener, so after this it's no more money. My parents agree after hearing how things are.
I mean, I wish we were wealthy enough to be able fix it, but that's not an option. He's just going to have to claim control of his money, and I'd it costs him his spiteful, controlling, manipulative, selfish, short sighted wife, then so be it. He'd be better off.