I Don't See How People Can Cheat So Easily

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Current Events » I Don't See How People Can Cheat So Easily

For someone like me, being short and unappealing, it's pretty easy not to cheat. But for those who have both the opportunity and the desire, I imagine something as basic as not calling your current partner by the side partner's name would be so easy to mess up. I've accidentally called Google, "Alexa" three times just this week! LOL

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it actually is hard, I've had multiple relationships going in an ethical way but it sucks because I sometimes brought up a topic and the person said "sounds like you are mixing me up with X or Y" and I felt like shit, but it is indeed hard to keep track of the topics you have brought up or that they have brought up when in a simmilar xontext as getting to know each other or opening up about personal topics.
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i mean most people dont cheat because they are bad people. Its always because of something lacking in a relationship. Ive never cheated but I've had times where my own relationships are having issues and someone new comes along giving me attention. So i get how some people can fall into the trap.

The night brims with defiled scum,and is permeated by their rotten stench.
Just think. Now you're all set to hunt and kill to your heart's content.
Also people cheating often want to get caught at some level.
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Even dating multiple people at once feels shit tbh. You just know somebody's time is being ultimately wasted. I think a lot of people think being "ethical" is synonymous with being honest as well which is laughable. Eg "hey I told you there were other guys you can't get upset"
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I4NRulez posted...
i mean most people dont cheat because they are bad people. Its always because of something lacking in a relationship. Ive never cheated but I've had times where my own relationships are having issues and someone new comes along giving me attention. So i get how some people can fall into the trap.

I dont agree with this at all. Yes, there can be a number of other pressures, but if you cheat its still a shitty thing to do of pretty great magnitude.
It doesn't start being harder. In fact it is easy to cheat for someone who has already found themselves a committed relationship. The problems come over time as they try to connect - or disconnect - their cheating from their home life.

Also being attractive is only one ingredient (though an important one). Being in the right place, saying the right words at the right time, are very important for these types of things. Which is why a lot of cheating is done with those who are in repeated contact (work friends, family).

People are just cockroaches

You have to step on them to make the world yours.
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I've been cheated on quite a few times in my life. The part that gets me is no one ever comes back. No one ever has looked behind and missed me. I've never had an on-off relationship under any terms. When they get tired of me, they leave. Forever.

Not that I'd want a cheating ex to crawl back but I know plenty of friends who that's happened to, they regret their choice, etc. I wish I had the confidence in life that all my ex girlfriends had in cheating on me.
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I4NRulez posted...
i mean most people dont cheat because they are bad people. Its always because of something lacking in a relationship
Self-respect? Good character? Morals? Common courtesy? General decency?

Cheaters are certainly lacking something, but it's definitely a personal thing they're lacking. Usually values
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I don't see how they even have the time to cheat. Dating one person is hard enough
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C-zom posted...
I've been cheated on quite a few times in my life. The part that gets me is no one ever comes back. No one ever has looked behind and missed me. I've never had an on-off relationship under any terms. When they get tired of me, they leave. Forever.

Not that I'd want a cheating ex to crawl back but I know plenty of friends who that's happened to, they regret their choice, etc. I wish I had the confidence in life that all my ex girlfriends had in cheating on me.

Ive never cheated, but have had all my exes try to come back into my life. Way too much power behind allure of the history, enough to make the days youre looking towards the future seem silly. You start to feel overwhelmed by the feeling and suddenly you start to feel like you did something wrong. I already have enough mind games as it is sometimes and I dont need the past holding some kind of power over me, fuck that.

anyways,
Ive had the feelings before of wanting to cheat, but Ive never gone through with it. I just cant imagine creating such a black cloud over someones life and making them feel like they arent enough. Ive been through that and it sucked really hard. I wouldnt want someone to look back and have them phase out the days within their own life like that.

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Glob posted...
I dont agree with this at all. Yes, there can be a number of other pressures, but if you cheat its still a shitty thing to do of pretty great magnitude.

i never said it wasn't a shitty thing to do

I'm just saying that i can see how it can happen so easily.
The night brims with defiled scum,and is permeated by their rotten stench.
Just think. Now you're all set to hunt and kill to your heart's content.
I4NRulez posted...
i mean most people dont cheat because they are bad people. Its always because of something lacking in a relationship. Ive never cheated but I've had times where my own relationships are having issues and someone new comes along giving me attention. So i get how some people can fall into the trap.
I'd say that a majority of the time it's just a combination of temptation, opportunity, and lack of self control. Being tempted by someone new and exciting is more of a "grass is greener" syndrome rather than a symptom of that person being unhappy in their current relationship.
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I4NRulez posted...
i never said it wasn't a shitty thing to do

I'm just saying that i can see how it can happen so easily.

You said they arent bad people. People are defined by their choices. If you choose to do a shitty thing (cheating), that makes you a shitty person.
Glob posted...
You said they arent bad people. People are defined by their choices. If you choose to do a shitty thing (cheating), that makes you a shitty person.

People can do a bad thing and not be a bad person.

The world isn't that black and white. Its cheating not murder my dude
The night brims with defiled scum,and is permeated by their rotten stench.
Just think. Now you're all set to hunt and kill to your heart's content.
I4NRulez posted...
i mean most people dont cheat because they are bad people. Its always because of something lacking in a relationship. Ive never cheated but I've had times where my own relationships are having issues and someone new comes along giving me attention. So i get how some people can fall into the trap.

I mean, sounds like a bad person.
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I guess it comes down to a matter of being morally weak and lacking courage. If "someone better" comes along, it shouldn't be that hard to just break things off with the current partner before moving on.

Either they're too selfish and want both, or they're too scared and lack the resolve to end things
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I4NRulez posted...
People can do a bad thing and not be a bad person.

The world isn't that black and white. Its cheating not murder my dude

The bar for being a good person should be higher than not murdering. Theyre not evil, but they need to be better.
"Something's wrong! Murder isn't working and that's all we're good at." ~Futurama
I4NRulez posted...
People can do a bad thing and not be a bad person.

The world isn't that black and white. Its cheating not murder my dude
People can do some bad things without being a bad person, depending on the justification for the bad things. A hungry person stealing to feed themselves is desperate rather than bad.

I see literally no justification for cheating in any circumstances. If your relationship is stagnant and you see some greener grass, at least have the integrity to tell your partner. If you're breaking that trust to cheat, you are a bad person.
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bfslick50 posted...
The bar for being a good person should be higher than not murdering. Theyre not evil, but they need to be better.

i mean yeah they should but the topic was "how do people cheat so easily"

my point is that it's not that crazy in the real world to imagine. Ideally, no one would cheat and everyone would be happy with their partners. Except we live the real world where real people can make mistakes.

Cheating sucks but sometimes normal people make bad decisions. This topic is making it seem like its some unredeemable thing.
The night brims with defiled scum,and is permeated by their rotten stench.
Just think. Now you're all set to hunt and kill to your heart's content.
I4NRulez posted...
i mean yeah they should but the topic was "how do people cheat so easily"

my point is that it's not that crazy in the real world to imagine. Ideally, no one would cheat and everyone would be happy with their partners. Except we live the real world where real people can make mistakes.

Cheating sucks but sometimes normal people make bad decisions. This topic is making it seem like its some unredeemable thing.
It just depends on the cheaters course of action after.
Did they repent/regret what they did? Or is it something they'll continue doing?
Like you said. Not black and white
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I4NRulez posted...
This topic is making it seem like its some unredeemable thing.

Like the other guy said: It's not murder, but cheating is very "bad person" material.
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If you have never cheated, you just haven't met the wrong person yet.
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I've only had one serious girlfriend, who would probably qualify as an amazing partner by most people's criteria, yet I still cheated on her. I felt and still feel terrible about it to this day. She foregave me, but it was incredibly difficult to resist the allure of other women. Our sexual incompatibility eventually ended our relationship, and I've been single for three years.

"Single" is probably a good place for me to be until/unless I can find a partner that's as polyamorous (or at least as sexually open-minded) as I am. I found a girlfriend who was honest, hard-working, supportive, honorable, adventurous, fun, and loyal, and I let all of that go because the idea of having sex with, being intimate with, and flirting with only one person for the rest of my life was like purgatory to me.

I was still a piece of shit for cheating, but I've now at least come to (better) terms with who I am and what I want out of life.
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YoBlazer posted...


YoBlazer posted...
I've only had one serious girlfriend, who would probably qualify as an amazing partner by most people's criteria, yet I still cheated on her. I felt and still feel terrible about it to this day. She foregave me, but it was incredibly difficult to resist the allure of other women. Our sexual incompatibility eventually ended our relationship, and I've been single for three years.

"Single" is probably a good place for me to be until/unless I can find a partner that's as polyamorous (or at least as sexually open-minded) as I am. I found a girlfriend who was honest, hard-working, supportive, honorable, adventurous, fun, and loyal, and I let all of that go because the idea of having sex with, being intimate with, and flirting with only one person for the rest of my life was like purgatory to me.

I was still a piece of shit for cheating, but I've now at least come to (better) terms with who I am and what I want out of life.


I've only had 2 serious girlfriends, but it's funny how much I felt like you while breaking up with the first one... and how utterly broken I felt when the second one basically pulled it all on me.

You never know who can completely make you reassess this stuff. I honestly think a lot of people who consider themselves poly might change their tune once they fall hard in love with someone

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ai123 posted...
If you have never cheated, you just haven't met the wrong person yet.

Or maybe, and stay with me here, maybe not everybody is a piece of shit?

People use so many forms of mental gymnastics to try to justify cheating.
Glob posted...
Or maybe, and stay with me here, maybe not everybody is a piece of shit?

People use so many forms of mental gymnastics to try to justify cheating.
It wasn't an entirely serious comment. Nor really a justification.

Cheating happens because people are weak. The level of their weakness is only apparent under testing.
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Some people aren't built for monogamy and instead of pursuing lifestyles that match what they really want, they instead constantly resort to cheating. The flip side of this is that some people are miserable in their relationship and they don't know when to stop it or talk to their partners
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LSGW_Zephyra posted...
Some people aren't built for monogamy and instead of pursuing lifestyles that match what they really want, they instead constantly resort to cheating. The flip side of this is that some people are miserable in their relationship and they don't know when to stop it or talk to their partners

This I can agree with. Nothing wrong with fucking around, as long as everybody involved knows thats what it is.

Also, there are people who will stay in a relationship long after they should have left. In hindsight, I wish Id left my previous relationship years before we broke up.
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