I'm not sure what you don't like about the area. You've got all the museums and culture in DC. You've got the Shenandoah National Park not too far away. Ocean City and the beaches aren't too far. NYC and Philly are possible day trips. Weather is decent.
I live in the DC area, and there are plenty of reasons to not love it. The cost of living is fairly high, most places outside the city itself are generic soulless suburbs, traffic is some of the worst in the country, social stuff is weird because there are so many transplants, and the weather in summer is awful.
And, yeah, I've pretty much just sat around our house for the past 3 years. I'm not even sure what kind of social settings I would even enjoy going to that I wouldn't feel awkward at since I don't enjoy going out. I go walk/jog around the middle school track for exercise, have regular doctor visits that I need to be seen for in regards to my disabilities, but other than that, I usually just stay home.
Is there an option your wife can do a transfer to a facility in Utah?She's in a position specifically at a headquarters level. If we move back to Utah, she would have to drop about 4 or 5 pay levels and take a field position instead, which she would not be happy in.
and divorce isn't anything I'm concerned about. We aren't that bad.I am just saying if you force her back to Utah that it could get to this point quickly.
Besides the weather, which is regional and to taste (eg places with nice summers often have shitty winters), aren't you describing just about every city in the country? I do understand not liking cities but for real, this is every city I've been to.
I'm pretty sure he has a disability paycheck based on what he said. So, he isn't exactly money-less in the situation. He doesn't need to to take his wife's extra money for his hobbies most likely.All money from my disability and my wife's employment are shared, and we don't do his or hers.
All money from my disability and my wife's employment are shared, and we don't do his or hers.Was just responding to colegreen who said to use your wife's extra money.
She's in a position specifically at a headquarters level. If we move back to Utah, she would have to drop about 4 or 5 pay levels and take a field position instead, which she would not be happy in.
Her education and work experience might be applicable to other businesses though, and we haven't researched it, but there would need to be openings of course for those to even be a possibility. Federal jobs are protected though, so transfers to lower paid positions are the only real guarantee.
We've talked a little since I posted this, and as of right now, we are just "kicking the can" a little longer. We will extend our lease to November/December if the owners will accept a short term lease, and her hope (which she feels is a strong possibility) is that by that point telework/domicile policies will be updated and which jobs qualify.
She isn't excited about moving back to state that has a lot of annual snow, and I get the feeling she liked living far from her parents as well (lol).
We just celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary. We will work through this, and divorce isn't anything I'm concerned about. We aren't that bad. But we are definitely very far apart on this decision. It's kind of uneasy putting a lot of faith into the updated policies of the post office that may or may not happen any time soon.
I'm fiercely loyal to my wife, even at the expense of my own desires, so I know I'm the type of person that will stay if I had to in order for her job happiness is secure. I could be in for a long road of slight depression in that case.
I'm a bit concerned about your attitude about it though. It seems there's a lot of "oh yeah we aren't going to break up over it, i'll just put her needs first if i have to, it's okay if i'm depressed for awhile" going through your head, which is a bit understandable considering you currently unhappy, but I don't see you engaging with all of the suggestions on how to improve your situation where you are.Yeah. I've probably been sabotaging a bit since I haven't made any effort to conform. I have a military buddy back in Utah that I talk to regularly, and he wants me to come back, so I've probably been using that as an excuse as well.
Do you WANT to make this place a home? Or is the solution in your mind either to go home to Utah and be happy or stay here for your wife's happiness and you'll just have to put up with never fitting in?
Pretty much everybody in here has been saying "you need to get up and go put yourself out there and make some new friends. It will never happen if you don't make it happen."
Do you agree with this?
Ok, this post might come across as a bit harsh, and I dont mean it, but I think you might be in need of some tough love.just want to reiterate this
You say you dont have any friends? Well...
Make new friends!
You have been there three years. If you havent made any friends, bro that is on you.
I have a military buddy back in Utah that I talk to regularly, and he wants me to come back, so I've probably been using that as an excuse as well.
I dont live there and I can name a few. I bet im not far off.
I'm not sure what you don't like about the area.
I dont live there and I can name a few. I bet im not far off.
It's common in Japan to move to Utah?im not ashamed to admit this just made me laugh hard
Move back to Utah with your kids while your wife stays in Virginia. Everyone wins
this is actually very common in Japan
And, yeah, I've pretty much just sat around our house for the past 3 years. I'm not even sure what kind of social settings I would even enjoy going to that I wouldn't feel awkward at since I don't enjoy going out.Ok so it does seem like you're not trying at all and expect magic friendship. You could do way more to seek out social groups. I found a poker group for example. Can't do anything now during the pandemic though.
I found a poker group for example. Can't do anything now during the pandemic though.
don't know if this is something your group is interested in, but for a while my poker group and I were doing play money tourneys on PokerStars and just venmo'ing the money to one anotherI have a different group that's doing that now. I'm not that into online poker though, even with video chat. Especially the insane pokerstars algorithm.
I have a different group that's doing that now. I'm not that into online poker though, even with video chat. Especially the insane pokerstars algorithm.