Lurker > Strife2

Wii U: Good 3rd Party Support, but in this multiplatform world, it's ridiculous. Hopefully, they offer games other than Mario, Zelda, etc, because those aren't enough to interest me anymore.

Vita: Better launch titles than 3DS, but nothing I'll buy the platform for. However, Anime Fantasy Adventures (my alternative term to JRPGs) have gravitated to handhelds. I'll stay my hand until enough of those hit either handheld.

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"BREAKING INTO HEAVEN! GET READY FOR WAR!"
Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

I want to get through Biomechanics as soon as possible.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Glory of Heracles was nothing special. It never hooked me nor insulted me. However, Lords of Shadow (one of those six month waits I've been ******* about) is coming soon. That means with that and SvR, Glory of Heracles has no chance to be played.

*Sends it back*

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Oh, and...

*Glory of Heracles Update*

RELEASE THE KRAKEN...and get killed by Zero the Hero.

One final thing: if you haven't played any SMT game or spinoff yet, I'd highly suggest Catherine as a way to get you started. It comes out next month and delves deep into romantic relationships and the mind**** that can happen through cheating on your girlfriend. All that comes with nightmare sequences featuring half naked platforming, chainsaw wielding babies, berserk sheep monsters, and crumbling block puzzles of doom.

The guys who made this also made Persona, and those games are notorious for their asthestics. Think about this, the collectors edition comes with an artbook, a music CD, a body pillow with a half naked woman in pajamas, an empty pizza box, and male boxer shorts. If that doesn't scream, "We are ****** up in the head," nothing does. These are the same guys whose games have bosses including (but are not limited to):

*Spoilers*



- Priestess in a spread eagle pose with "B" on one exposed breast, and "J" on another
- Indecisive pseudo-homsexual heterophobe with rippling muscles carrying the "male" symbol
- Reaper Ocelot (an affectionate nickname for Death who comes equipped with revolvers)
- a 50 foot rainbow colored stripper with an antenna for a face who dangles from a giant pole

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Good; maybe they can fix Peace Walker's control scheme. I tried it for like five minutes and hated it. Metal Gear just doesn't work without two analog sticks and shoulder buttons.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Glory of Heracles Update*

Zero the Hero ran into the Trap-eze Artist and some faeries.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

DRAGON QUEST VIII DONE!

Next Up: Glory of Heracles

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Dragon Quest VIII Update*

Some douche ripped off Kefka and created a floating continent of death; because he has no soul, HE'S GON GET IT!

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Dragon Quest VIII Update*

Hooray...I went to a new world populated by a giant bird shadow; ehhhh.

I also took time to readjust my SvR CAW stats to fit a more competitive balance. I bumped a lot of lower card people from 80 to 82-83 and downgraded people who hadn't really done much in the season. Problem is, I haven't played SvR since I started DQVIII, and won't have time to I finish it this weekend.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Dragon Quest VIII Update*

I went to Russia and got to see some doofuses get beat up by an evil dog.

And yes, HBK was in 2011. He was rated 95 and given a vastly superior Sweet Chin Music from the standing position.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

What I find funny is I still intend to buy the next SvR game in spite of not watching WWE. That seems strange, but the allure of creation is awesome. I just wish they would add the ability to transfer characters between seasons...it can't be that hard.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

It's not that it's Orton. It's the fact that ANYBODY took the title of Christian in the fashion they did. It could haven Punk, Danielson, Sheamus, Henry, etc. and it would have still reeked of utter bull****. Heel turn, future championships, whatever. He didn't even get a month to get in the "transitional champ" role. It was just, "we wrote ourselves into a corner, **** it, let's take the title off the guy we didn't want to have it on in the first place."

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

After 15 years, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm done watching WWE. If you're curious as to why, look into recent developments regarding Christian and Kharma.

*Spoilers*


Christian spends 17 years trying to a world title, gets it due to someone retiring, only to lose it two days later to a "golden boy," Randy Orton. Kharma was the first ever monster female wrestler in WWE (Awesome Kong from TNA), but WWE had her wail and cry on air for no apparent reason. They may have something, but at this point, I'm just sick of it. The first time I'm ever interested in a female wrestler more than most males, and WWE takes away all her momentum.

Just **** it all.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Dragon Quest VIII Update*

The holy isle is MINE! Anyone who stands in my way from my annoying grind will be smited down by my team of a mole, a golem made of money, and a ******* DINOSAUR!

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Dragon Quest VIII Update*

People are racist against trolls.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

It's not like the game is that hard either. That's just the level of suck going on. Equate my playing to Spider-Man 3 and you can envision it.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

I got to a point in DKCR that I realized just how bad I was. I used Super Kong for two bosses, including an entire forest level. I quit just to end my shame. No one should be exposed to that level of suckitude.

Total suck...suck...suck...then even worse.

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"BREAKING INTO HEAVEN! GET READY FOR WAR!"
Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

TIKI MIKI BOOGIE WOOGIE JUMP ROPE!______!#@#

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

This game is reteaching me how to handle kills in videogames. Normally, I would send the game back after 5-10 straight **** ups. Still, after spending eight months waiting for this, I can't give up now.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Donkey Kong Country Returns Update*

TIKI MAN GET PUNKED OUT OF JUNGLE!

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

The interesting thing is I did play Returns once with a friend, but I'm under the assumption that single player is a much different and less distracting experience. All the original games were great. I'm not a fan of this nostalgia trip all developers seem to be on, but if they can't be trusted with new technology, then **** it.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

After eight long months, Gamefly is finally sending me Donkey Kong Country Returns.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

As for how I finish games quickly, here's the tactics I use:

1. Tons of free time
2. Gamefly
3. Playing games on easy
4. FAQs exist to be used
5. When that and sheer determination fail, take a break and return. When that fails, quit.
6. Quit when the game insults your intelligence with terrible story/characters/battle system, etc. If you feel you can't enjoy it, don't force it.

Some people may not endorse quitting/cheating, but when you're a single player game enthusiast, you can act however you want. Games are not as hard as they used to be, and I openly admit to being a weaker "gamer." Challenge bothers me. However, there is a difference between challenge and bull**** game design. Keep that in mind.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Ys' battle system was the RPG equivalent of Sonic the Hedgehog, so the game only lasted 10-12 hours. Which reminds me...all RPGs should use the "bump" system from now on. Play Ys Chronicles then tell me what possible RPG has a faster or more fluid gaming mechanic.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

YS CHRONICLES DONE!*

Next: SvR2011

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Ys Chronicles Update*

Erik the Red ran into a pretty shrine housing sacrificial women.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Ys Chronicles Update*

Erik the Red fights off an ancient evil, falls off a tower, gets saved by a flower girl (doesn't crossdress fortunately), loses all his stats Metroid style, then goes back to his day job: bumping into things.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Ys Chronicles Update*

Erik the Red bumps into tons of stuff and finds a couple books that he can't read because he's too busy bumping into stuff.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Chrono Cross Update*

Want to know how to beat up enemies in a single blow? New Game+: with this enterprising feature, no dragoons, no robots, nor any evil scientist onion monsters can stand in your way...now all you have to worry about is remembering the side effects of trans-dimensional warping: constipation and herpes.

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"BREAKING INTO HEAVEN! GET READY FOR WAR!"
Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

I've been rewatching Rozen Maiden and already got through episode 18 in two days.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Dante's Inferno Update*

Armored Saint went dumbass and stitched a cross to his chest, ran after his dead, topless wife, then beheaded a demon ship.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Resonance of Fate's battle system reminded me of the worst parts of FFXII, such a slow piece of convoluted crap that I couldn't get...call me a dip, but I gave up after the tutorial. Dante's Inferno will feel like running fifty times faster while in fast forward.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

A lot of things happened yesterday.

1. I aced a test in Training and Conditioning for Sport

2. I got killed in the first battle in Resonance of Fate...eww.

3. I did something I should have done long ago: I quit playing guitar for my best friend (a bassist), and I notified him over the phone. When I told him I'd thought about it for a while and that I could not focus on making a career out of something that was always a hobby, he told me to go **** myself. I wasn't in the mood to do so, because I didn't feel to go to 4chan yet. I fully understand his disrespectful tone, but I dropped hints about this possibility for months. The oddest thing is that the drummer was actually more supportive of me (a guy with less grandiose aspirations) than the bassist.

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"BREAKING INTO HEAVEN! GET READY FOR WAR!"
Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

It has the drawback of taking up way too much time...though on boring weekends, I guess it helps a bit.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Good for you...or bad since it means you have yet to abandon the cesspool known as the internet.

In other news, Gamefly is sending Resonance of Fate. I'm usually a fan of Tri-Ace, but I read reviews that detailed one of my two biggest Anime Fantasy Adventure pet peeves: random encounters...PLEASE LET THEM NOT LAST FOREVER! Any sign of fifty consecutive battles in a dungeon and I'm sending it back in a hurry.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Since Squall is still on the roster (and Cloud squandered is 3rd run with the series last year), yes, yes he is.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

YS: OATH IN FELGHANA DONE!

Next up: SvR2011 while I wait for Ys: 1 and 2: Chronicles. In other words, YS UP THE ASS!

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Ys: Oath in Felghana update*

Erik the Red ran into a judas priest and ran off to some ruins.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

I'm officially done with all my assignments for the semester. To make matters better, I'm pretty much guaranteeed to pass the classes. Just need to study for the tests to get A's. Eight months till college graduation.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

FABLE III DONE!

Next up: Ys: Oath of Felghana

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

Hell no: FFXIII was a terrible movie, with no clear main character. It's pretty hard to feel attached to a main when all the focus is on some whiny dip**** and his mommy issues.

"She left me."

OF COURSE SHE DID YOU STUPID **** NOW GET OFF YOUR ASS AND FOLLOW HER!

It didn't help that the battles were neverending, never engaging (hey let's make an already CPU based battle system MORE AI controlled...that will make the player love walking around), the game was TOO damn long, given the material (6 hours of cinematics, 55 hours of battles...nothing else), and oh, that stupid **** I previously mentioned. May he die in a raging nuclear firestorm that sears his flesh and make his screams all the more bloody and frightful. Both he and the people who made him deserve to die for ruining an experience that was already boring to begin with.

XIII was the first FF game I quit halfway through; that should be enough persuasion to condemn it to the bowels of gaming hell.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Fable III Update*

Joan of Arc dyed her dress red to go great with witch burning.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

I sent back Blue Dragon this afternoon. After three weeks of "trying" to like it, I just gave up. Having already sent back 3D Dot Game Heroes due to game freezes, it looks like I'll be receiving Fable III.

The tally for not receiving FN: Champion, DKC Returns, James Bond Blood Stone, and Lords of Shadow reaches SIX ******* MONTHS! I'll probably get Catherine before then, and that's not out until JULY!

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

I just spent 8 hours straight on a final project for one of my classes. I never want to use Word again, for a couple of days.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

I always felt such emotion for Calypso, knowing all she did for Odysseus. I've never been one for true love/marriage/fatherhood. The lure of eternal life seems too damn good to pass up. By that point, Odysseus was too far gone to turn back though.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

For once, SyFy has awesome stuff on TV. The Odyssey (the best book ever) was awesome, and I'm currently watching Jules Verne's Mystery Island. Patrick Stewart > God, Gandhi, John Morrison, me, Jesus, Mike Tyson, and you.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

I just got 3D Dot Game Heroes, and holy jumping ******* ****balls...how Shigeru Miyamoto didn't sue them I'll never know.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

*Blue Dragon Awakened Shadow Update*

I don't know how, but someone found out a way to design the worst looking spaceship ever...a multicolored blowfish.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

All Stars is ok if you want NBA Jam arcade style.

SvR2010 or 11 would be the best bets for the franchise right now.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know

I played tons of SvR today...with a couple hours left in my day to do other stuff.

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Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know