Lurker > au_gold

The movies are better than the games, tbh.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

Mission: Impossible 2
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

All guitarists can play bass. Not all bassists can play guitar.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

Hookers.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

Transformers: Age of Extinction
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

Rambo 3
Rocky 5
Skyrim
Call of Duty: Black Ops 3
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

B and E

You pounce on Officer Patton, knocking her onto the ground. She quickly matches your aggressiveness, putting her hand behind your head as she shoves her tongue down your throat; her other hand is firmly gripped on your ass, pushing your pelvis into hers. You quickly scramble to remove her silky pink panties. You notice Ellen behind you, attempting to get in on the action, but you immediately grab the back of her head and shove it into your ass. Ellen submits to your ass, licking it clean while you penetrate Patton raw and thrust into her warm, wet vaginal canal forcefully and repeatedly. She moans and wails to the gods. Candice positions herself atop Patton's face, prompting Patton to perform cunnilingus on her. You romantically pull Candice's face up to your own; "I love you, baby." She puts her arms around you and the two of you make out like it's your first kiss on prom night.

Amidst the moaning, sweating, and grunting, Mikey comes out of the hallway and notices the situation unfolding in the living room. Candice looks at him, "Mikey! Go get the, ah, doggy bowl from the cabinet." Mikey stares in awe. "Go!" Candice yells. Mikey quickly runs to the cabinet, grabs a dog bowl, and brings it to Candice. She pulls on Patton's hair and rubs her pussy all over Patton's face vigorously before addressing Michael again. "Now get back into your room and... Fuck! Ow, that's good!... And don't come out... Oh God, don't stop. Don't stop! Don't you dare fucking stop!" You finish Candice's thought: "Go to bed, kid." Mikey runs off and slams his bedroom door behind him. You take the dog bowl from Candice and place it under Patton's ass. A cocktail of your ball sweat, Patton's vaginal fluids, and Ellen's spit begin to gather into the bowl. You finally pull your penis out of Patton and turn towards Ellen, signaling her to suck it dry, which she does. Candice quickly swaps places with Patton. You insert your freshly sucked penis into Candice's freshly eaten vagina. Patton sits on Candice's face and the cycle of fornication continues.

As you thrust into Candice barbarically, you hear a faint whimpering in the background. You assume it's Patton or Candice wailing in ecstasy, but it's coming from another direction. Your body continues going through the motions - in and out, in and out, with the speed and virility of a skinhead fresh out of a 20-year prison sentence - until your eyes fix on Jamal. His eyes are welled up with tears. All of a sudden, you're overcome with emotion. Jamal didn't ask for any of this. He didn't even know he was a part of your fiancee's cuckoldry scheme until it was too late. The tickling of Ellen's tongue on your anus pulls you back into the action. But a smidgen of guilt begins to fester in the back of your mind.

What do you do?

A: Continue fornicating until you're bereft of bodily fluids, then force Jamal to drink from the doggy bowl as originally planned.
B: Remove yourself from the orgy, untie Jamal, and attempt to have a heart-to-heart with him.
C: Order Mikey to drag Jamal back into his bedroom so you can continue the orgy without anymore distractions.
D: Remove yourself from the orgy, untie Jamal, and ask if he would like to partake in the fornication as a gesture of goodwill.
E: Order Mikey to tape over Jamal's eyes so you can continue the orgy without having to see his weeping face, knowing full well that he can still hear and smell everything that's going on.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

boxington posted...

au_gold posted...

Terrible movie, laughable ending.

how would you feel if it starred Jai Courtney?

Starring Jai Courtney would've been redundant since Thomas Jane portrayed the role of "generic white guy" to perfection.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

Terrible movie, laughable ending.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

I'll start with some obvious ones:

Aliens
Terminator 2
Transporter 2
Gears of War 3
Battlefield 4
Die Hard 5
Independence Day: Resurgence
Mechanic: Resurrection
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

No, she does not deserve prison time. If he was a year older this wouldn't even be news. It was consensual, that's all that matters.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

The officers' expressions immediately change from horror to compassion. "That is so kind of you," Patton says. "I know," you reply. "But his real fantasy..." You sigh dramatically to build suspense. "His true fantasy is to watch a four-way, specifically a male with three females. I know this is a lot to ask..." Patton interjects, "We'll do it." Ellen reluctantly agrees, "Well, I am very horny. If that's what he wants to see, then I can't think of a single reason why not." You internally scream with excitement. "Cool," you respond nonchalantly. "Well, let's get started then." Candice removes her sweaty tank top, revealing her plump, perky breasts and squeezes them together amorously. Blood rushes down to your penis. The officers strip down to their lingerie. You're mesmerized by Patton's flawless body; she's like a more attractive Ana Cheri with a thicker, juicier ass. Ellen's body resembles an uncooked ham.

How do you proceed?

A: Urge Ellen and Patton to begin their lesbian lovemaking, then slowly insert yourself in between them as Candice alternates sitting on each of your faces.
B: Mount Patton aggressively and alternate between fucking her and Candice raw while Ellen eats your ass and gives you head as needed.
C: Enter a human centipede formation, from front to back: Patton, You, Candice, Ellen.
D: Order Ellen to rub her pasty body all over Jamal while you, Patton and Candice partake in a steamy free-for-all.
E: A combination of the above, with a dog bowl nearby used to collect any bodily fluids excreted from the four of you for Jamal to drink.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

E: Invite the officers to stay the night, bring Jamal back out into the living room claiming that he enjoys being cuckolded, then suggest a four-way between you, the cops and Candice to help fulfill Jamal's perverted sexual fantasies.

"Hold on," you holler as you scurry to the living room, "Would you ladies like to stay the night?" The officers glance at each other. Patton admits, "I really don't feel like driving, babe." You anxiously await Ellen's response. She finally submits, "Okay, but no funny stuff." "Great!" you exclaim, "Wait right here. I have a surprise for you." You reach into Candice's fetish kit and grab two blindfolds. You wrap them around the officers' eyes. "Be right back," you claim as you rush into the hallway and consult with Candice. "Help me bring Jamal out there." She looks at you quizzically. You grab Candice by the pussy with your thumb on the latex covering her vagina and your index and middle fingers circulating around and stimulating her anus like you're holding a bowling ball. "Trust me."

You and Candice enter Michael's room and see Jamal tied to the chair wrapped from head to toe in duct tape; there's only a sliver of an opening for his eyes and his mouth. Michael is cowering in the corner. "Mommy, he scares me," he whimpers. "He can't do anything, sweetie," Candice reassures her son. "See?" She spits directly into Jamal's open mouth, his only source of oxygen. She tilts his head back, allowing her rancid saliva to drip down his throat against his will. You and Candice pick up Jamal's chair and bring him out to the living room in front of the blindfolded officers. "Can we speed this process up?" Ellen asks impatiently. "Okay," you start, "Honey, let them see." Candice removes the officers' blindfolds. They both gasp in horror. "What... the fuck?" "Is that the charred black man?" they ask simultaneously. "Precisely," you say, "This is Jamal, and he is a cuckold. It's his fetish; he likes being bound, helpless, while other people have sex in front of him. I was uncomfortable with it at first, but then I realized, who am I to judge? Candice and I, we're very empathetic people. If Jamal enjoys watching other people perform degrading sexual acts in front of him, then that's exactly what we'll do."
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

Would not pull out.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

*Girl getting hotter.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

B: Casually mention that you have a charred black man tied up in the room and that it's nothing to worry about.

You walk up to the startled officers: "Oh, I forgot to mention that there's a charred black man tied up in the room, but it's nothing to worry about." The officers are silent. You continue, "Besides, Candice and I really should be getting back to our marathon..." Ellen inquires, "Excuse me, what did you say?" You look at her unfazed, "Well, you two did interrupt us while we were having anal sex." Ellen grows annoyed, "Before that! What did you say about a man?" You pause for a moment. "Oh, the charred black man? Yeah, don't worry about him." A loud crash is heard from Candice's room. Ellen and Patton draw their pistols. "Oh shit," you mutter. Ellen demands, "Take us to the room. Now!"

You put your hands up and walk down the hallway with Ellen and Patton not far behind you. You open the door to Candice's room. Inside you see Candice watching a yoga video on her tiny TV, performing handstand splits in her assless chaps with her bare ass facing the open doorway. Her anus is still gaping from your rigorous penetration and remnants of your ejaculate continue seeping out of her dirty hole. Jamal is nowhere to be found. "What the hell is this?" asks Ellen. Candice lowers her feet and stands up straight: "Oh, I'm sorry. Was I being too loud?" Patton holsters her weapon; "This is a waste of time. Our shift ended half and hour ago. Let's get out of here." Ellen stares the both of you down before holstering her weapon. You lower your hands.

The two officers go back into the living room while you and Candice collude in the hallway: "Where did he go?" you whisper. "I moved him to Mikey's room," she replies. You smile and give her a kiss on the lips. "And my other lips?" she suggests amorously. You kneel down and tenderly kiss the area of black latex covering her vagina. She holds your head down, prompting you to continue kissing her vaginal lips through the latex while slowly pulling down her assless chaps. You hear officer Ellen shout from the living room: "We're out of here!"

What do you do?

A: Invite the officers to stay for dinner, proclaiming that the main course is charred black man.
B: Let the officers leave, then continue eating out Candice's sweaty vagina in Michael's room for him and Jamal to see.
C: Invite the officers to stay the night, then proceed to seduce and coax them into a potential four-way with Candice.
D: Let the officers leave, bring Jamal back out into the living room, then ravage all of Candice's holes in front of him until you're completely drained of bodily fluids.
E: Invite the officers to stay the night, bring Jamal back out into the living room claiming that he enjoys being cuckolded, then suggest a four-way between you, the cops and Candice to help fulfill Jamal's perverted sexual fantasies.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

I was warned buddy, but I appreciate the enthusiasm. Thank you guys for bumping the topic in my absence. Will have an update later tonight or tomorrow.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

As soon as Patton reveals this information, a loud slam is heard from Candice's room. "What was that?" Ellen asks as she and Patton get up from the couch. You stand up, "Oh, it's probably little Mikey just joshing around." The ruckus continues. It's then that you realize Jamal is still tied up in the room and has likely regained consciousness by now. Ellen starts walking toward the noise, "Mind if we take a look?"

What do you do?

A: Run ahead and block the officers' path, claiming that you have a pet Komodo dragon and you don't want him getting loose.
B: Casually mention that you have a charred black man tied up in the room and that it's nothing to worry about.
C: Grab the butter knife and jam it forcefully into Ellen's neck, then lick the blade and threaten to cut Patton if she doesn't sit back down and get undressed.
D: Run ahead and block the officers' path, claiming that you have a pet charred black man and you don't want him getting loose.
E: Grab the butter knife and wave it around erratically, threatening to kill both officers if they don't sit back down, get undressed, and make passionate love to each other.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

E: Begin thrusting through the awkward silence, penetrating Candice mercilessly until the officers decide to either leave or join in.

You begin thrusting your penis into Candice's ass repeatedly. The officers' expressions change from confusion to disgust as you proceed to violate the orifice from which Candice releases excrement. You penetrate deeper and deeper with each thrust, causing her to squeal louder and louder. You grab onto her breasts from outside of her now sopping wet tank top. She starts screaming, "Yes! Yes! I'm about to... Ah! I'm almost there... Ah! Ah! Ah!" The fat officer interjects: "May we come in?" Her voice is practically inaudible under your groans and Candice's wails. As you near completion, you slam your penis into Candice's ass like the Hammer of Thor, prompting an exhale like the gust of a thousand winds. Candice finishes simultaneously. You finally pull out, watching your ejaculate steadily drip out of her gaping rectum and onto the hardwood floor. Candice stands upright, wipes her hair away from her face and says to the officers, "Please, come in."

The two of you lead the officers into the house, closing the door behind them. You, stark naked and drenched in sweat, pull up two chairs in front of the couch. You signal the officers to have a seat on the couch while you and Candice sit on the chairs. Candice immediately jumps back up. "Ow! I'm not going to be able to sit for a while," she proclaims. You smirk; "So, what are your names?" The heavy officer begins, "I'm Officer Ellen, and this is Officer Patton," indicating the well endowed brunette woman. "Well, Ellen and Patton, it's a pleasure to meet you both." You extent your hand affably. They look at it quizzically, and you realize it's because it was soaking up Candice's breast sweat just moments earlier. "Oh," you chuckle, "right." Candice, who's standing awkwardly beside the three of you, states, "Let me check on my son real quick. I'll be right back." She turns and walks into the hallway. You watch as her bare ass cheeks jiggle with each step she takes, until she opens and enters Michael's room. You shift your attention back to the officers.

"Have you ladies participated in an anal sex marathon before?" you ask with a straight face. Officer Patton replies, "Not a marathon, but I'm familiar with the technique." You detect a modicum of sensuality in her timbre. "Ellen here is the real expert." Ellen begins speaking, "I wouldn't say I'm an expert, but there are days when..." Her voice becomes white noise as you stare lustfully at Patton, examining her curves, her supple breasts. The two of you lock eyes and she smiles. Ellen is still speaking, but as far as you're concerned, the only thing you want to hear at this moment is the sound of Patton gasping for air as you throat fuck her into submission. "...and that's how we met." Silence fills the air. You nod as if you were listening, "Well, isn't that wonderful. So, who wants to go first?" They look at each other, confused. "Didn't you hear?" Patton says: "We're lesbians."
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

E: Hide Jamal's body for later use, take off the remainder of your clothes, then answer the door with your penis inside Candice's ass, claiming that you're in the middle of a religious anal sex marathon.

"Shit! Let's get him out of here." You and Candice lift the chair and Jamal along with it, and swiftly move it into Candice's room. Jamal groans through his taped up mouth. You smack him on the back of the head with the butt end of the knife, knocking him out cold. The two of you close the bedroom door behind you. You put down the knife, take off your shirt and strip off the rest of your clothes. "What are you doing?" Candice asks. "Trust me," you say, "answer the door. I'll be right behind you." Two more loud thuds come from the front door. "Open up!" a deep voice demands. Candice approaches the door and just as she's about to open it, you run up behind her and shove your penis balls deep into her anus. "Whoa!" she squeals as the door swings open.

Two female officers are standing on Candice's porch. One is a short, immensely attractive brunette with large breasts protruding from her uniform and an ass that absolutely refuses to quit; the other is a tall, big-boned blonde with a masculine stature. "What's going on in here?" the butch officer asks. Both you and Candice are sweating profusely; she's slightly bent over while you're standing upright behind her, stark naked with your penis completely enveloped in her anal cavity. "Nothing much," you start. "Just in the middle of our religious anal sex marathon." The two officers look down, no doubt noticing Candice's assless chaps and the fact that your penis is wholly inside of her. The petite officer bites: "Religious anal sex marathon?" Candice nods her head. "Yeah," you begin. "It's a tradition in our household; a spiritual awakening process if you will." The officer rebuttals, "How is that religious in any way?" Candice blurts out, "It's heavenly!" You catch your breath, "We do it for our lord and savior. But it's less for a specific religious affiliation and more of a transcendent spiritual experience for the two of us. They say that the eye to a person's soul lies in their anus, and we like to do a lot of soul searching."

The officers play along, but you notice a hint of skepticism on their faces. The big woman states, "We've received multiple noise complaints from this house. Would you know anything about that?" "Well," you begin, indicating Candice, "this one's a screamer." The two of you chuckle lightly; you start thrusting and she begins wailing to prove your point. The heavy set officer continues, "Is that your son?" She points to a traumatized Michael, sulking in a dark corner of the room. You stop thrusting and look back. "Oh, yes, that's little Mikey." She sternly asks, "Do you think your boy should be watching this?" Candice quickly turns her head around, "Michael, get your ass back into your room!" Michael immediately complies. You smirk slyly, "Problem solved." The four of you stare at each other as an awkward silence fills the air.

What do you do?

A: Kindly ask the officers to leave as you have more soul searching to do.
B: Invite the petite officer inside and ask the husky officer if she has something better to do.
C: Explicitly comment on the brunette officer's body, claiming that she has legs for days and an ass that simply won't quit, then invite her inside.
D: Explicitly comment on the blonde officer's body, claiming that she has the ass of a ten-year-old boy and boobs that make you wish you were a baby again, then invite her inside.
E: Begin thrusting through the awkward silence, penetrating Candice mercilessly until the officers decide to either leave or join in.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

You bend her over in front of Jamal. Her ass sticks out, begging for you to pound it doggystyle. You quickly remove your pants as blood rushes down to your genitals, and shove your penis into her vagina mercilessly. You thrust rapidly and Candice wails in elation; you have your eyes on Jamal the entire time, making sure that he's watching. Michael also watches as you vigorously penetrate the very area from which he was birthed. Jamal struggles and whimpers, which only serves as fuel for your sexual prowess. Both you and Candice moan and breathe heavily until finally, after two minutes of ecstasy, you blow your load inside of her. You sit back and catch your breath. Candice sticks her fingers into her vagina, scoops out a dollop of your ejaculate, and sticks her filthy fingers in her mouth. She makes a 'mmm' sound before she swallows. "Michael, I hope you're okay with another sibling!" Michael is unresponsive, standing stoically in the corner with his mouth agape in utter shock.

"Okay," you begin, "let's finish this." You grab the butter knife Jamal brought with him. Suddenly, you hear three thuds at the door. "Police! Open up!"

What do you do?

A: Answer the door sans pants, offering to help the officers in any way you can.
B: Jam the butter knife into Jamal's skull, hide his body, then answer the door.
C: Take off the remainder of your clothes and answer the door with Candice, informing the officers that you're in the service of Jamal who enjoys being cuckolded.
D: Take Jamal into Candice's room and begin peeling the remaining flesh off of his charred body, then ask for Candice open the door and distract the officers.
E: Hide Jamal's body for later use, take off the remainder of your clothes, then answer the door with your penis inside Candice's ass, claiming that you're in the middle of a religious anal sex marathon.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

F: knock out jamal. Tie him up then bang Candice in front of him before executing him

You turn back and look at Jamal who is seething. "What's that you got behind your back there?" you ask. Before Jamal has a chance to process your question, you smack him in the face as hard as you can. His facial boils burst bloody puss as his body plunges down to the ground. His head knocks against the concrete porch and he's rendered immediately unconscious. You see his hidden hand loosen grip on what appears to be a butter knife. This man was clearly desperate. But he threatened you, and that's not something you take lightly.

You walk back into the house briskly. "I need something to tie him up. Hurry!" you exclaim. Candice and Michael scurry to different parts of the house looking for tools. You go through the kitchen cabinets - rotten meat, old cans, rat poison - nothing of worth. Soon after, Candice runs out from the hallway and approaches you. "Here," she says, handing you a box filled with rope, handcuffs, zip ties, ball gags, duct tape, anal beads, and assless chaps. You take the box, bewildered but pleasantly surprised. "Wow," you start, "this is perfect." Candice smiles, "Yeah, that's my fetish kit." She winks. You grab a nearby chair, place it in the center of the living room, then go outside and drag Jamal's incapacitated, burned body inside the house, closing the door behind you. Candice helps you lift Jamal into the chair. You proceed to handcuff his hands to the arm rests, tie rope around his body and feet, put a ball gag into his mouth, and duct tape his head to the back of the chair, ensuring that he can't move. Michael watches the two of you work in horror.

"What are you going to do with him?" Candice inquires. You reach down into her fetish box and hand her the leather assless chaps. "Put these on," you demand. She complies, instantly pulling down her sweaty yoga pants and panties. You marvel at her fit, silky legs. "No peeking," she says cheekily. She turns around so you can get a good look at her plump, firm ass and thighs. She puts on the assless chaps one leg at a time, allowing you to catch the occasional glimpse of her tight, pink, freshly-licked vagina. She turns to you enthusiastically. With her white tank top and black leather chaps, she resembles a sexy workout coach-slash-dominatrix. "What do you think?" You ogle her, "That's... you... th-" "Thank you," she interrupts, doing a complete 360 spin to flash her ass to you one more time. "So," she continues, "what do you want to do?" You notice Jamal's eyes start to move. "Let's fuck," you declare.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

IHeartRadiation posted...

Gun wounds are pathetic

Who said anything about a gun?
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

Killing a child isn't messy enough for you?
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

D: Casually walk to the door, put your arm around Candice, and pretend you don't recognize Jamal due to his tan.

You take three deep breaths. The police can't get involved; you committed arson and killed your fiancee. You finally get up from the couch, casually walk to the door and stand next to Candice. You put your arm around her and look at Jamal, standing only a few feet in front of you. His expression is hard to decipher due to his charred skin and bloody boils across his face, but his eyes alone speak volumes: he is not happy.

"Hey, honey," you nonchalantly address Candice. "Is this a friend of yours?"
Jamal fires back, "You know damn well who I am."
Candice turns to you, "I don't know who this is. I was going to call the cops."
"Nah, there's no need for that," you reply, "I'll take care of this, okay?"
She smiles. "Okay. Well, I'll leave you boys to it then." She kiss you on the cheek, spanks your ass and walks back into the house, leaving you and Jamal alone.

The two of you stare at each other in silence for a few seconds. "I'm sorry," you begin, "do I know you?"
"Goddammit," Jamal raises his voice, "I'm Jamal! The motherfucker you tried to kill today!"
You feign surprise and chuckle, "Oh, Jamal! How are you doing, man? I didn't recognize you with that tan."
"Fuck you." Jamal is not amused.
"Listen man, what do you want? I was kinda in the middle of something."
"Oh, I'm sorry, were you doing something important? Killing some more innocent people? You fucking psycho."
"Hey, hey, cool your jets. I didn't kill anyone. The house just spontaneously combusted, you know? Maybe I left the oven on. Shit happens."
"Yeah, shit happens. And shit's gonna happen to you real soon."
You sigh dramatically. "What do you want, man? Money? An apology?"
Jamal glares. "I want you to feel the pain I'm in, the pain your fiancee was in. I want you to know how it feels when flames spread across your body and peel off your flesh. I want you to know what it is to be in true agony."
You notice that Jamal has one hand hidden behind his back. Jamal continues, "It's ironic, you know? That you'd kill your fiancee for cheating on you when you have your own family here. You sick motherfucker. You didn't even love her, did you? DID YOU?"

You look back into the house and see Candice and Michael cowering in the corner. Jamal thinks these people mean something to you. Maybe that can be used to your advantage.

What do you do?

A: Give Jamal a heartfelt apology and beg for his forgiveness.
B: Take Jamal by surprise by punching him in the face, slamming the door, and running away with Candice and Michael.
C: Tell Jamal that he can kill Candice so that you'll be even.
D: Tell Jamal that he can kill Michael so that you'll be even.
E: Inform Jamal that he's being a drama queen and remind him that bros come before hoes.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

B: Go in for a kiss on her downstairs lips.

After the two of you stare into each other's eyes longingly, you slowly lean your head down to her pelvis. Sweat has seeped through her yoga pants in the form of a stain around her vaginal region. As you lean in closer to her second set of lips, a whiff of rancid fish and inner thigh sweat tingles your nostrils. You tenderly kiss the moist spot of her yoga pants. She makes a faint moaning sound; the sound you'd make after taking the first bite of a delicious meal. You proceed to stroke your tongue up and down her vertical lips, tasting the nylon of her pants mixed with her pungent bodily secretions. She pushes your head deeper in between her thighs until your only source of oxygen is from her vagina.

Her moans get louder, but she does her best to contain herself at the risk of alarming her son in the nearby room. You start sucking on her wet stain; the cumulative sweat from her pelvis fills your eager mouth, enough for you to gulp it down like you would a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day. She's making weeping sounds at this point, desperately trying not to squeal. "Don't stop. Don't you dare fucking stop," she quietly demands.

Suddenly, there are two loud thuds at the door. It startles you both. "Fuck!" she screams. "You said a bad word, mom!" Michael yells from his room. You sit back on the couch, your face dripping with her sweat, as Candice gets up and walks to the door. You lick your lips, wipe your face with your hand, lay your head back, and close your eyes. You overhear the conversation at the door:

"I need to see someone here."
"I'm sorry, who are you?"
"He'll know."
"Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."

You peek over the couch to see who's at the door. Your heart sinks as you see a severely burned Jamal standing at the front porch. You quickly slump down on the couch at the risk of being spotted.

"I know he's here. Tell him to come out, or I'm coming in."
"You should leave or I'm going to call the police."
"Please do."

Thoughts race through your head about how this situation can play out.

What do you do?

A: Boldly walk to the door, confront Jamal and attempt to reason with him amicably.
B: Find a knife or some sort of weapon, then confront Jamal spitefully.
C: Run and hide in Michael's room.
D: Casually walk to the door, put your arm around Candice, and pretend you don't recognize Jamal due to his tan.
E: Escape through the hole in the house and don't look back.
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Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

C: Explain the meaning of cuckold to the boy and tell him your story.

The boy eagerly awaits your response. "I am a cuckold," you admit. The boy looks confused. "Is that a bad word?" he asks. "No, son," you lean in closer to the boy: "A cuckold is when your significant other has sex with other men and you are at the mercy of your significant other's pussy. In my case, it was my fiancee; she was having an affair with a black man named Jamal. It might have been more men, I don't know. But Jamal came over today for a tutoring session with my fiancee-" The boy interrupts, "Isn't 'pussy' a bad word?" You retort, "No, shut up. Don't interrupt me again." You lean back on the couch, reminiscing the day's events.

"It turns out they weren't working on academics at all. They were having sex - filthy sex. And before that I had licked the sweat off of my fiancee's body and I thought it tasted like another man. But she said she was a virgin and I believed her; that's why I wanted to marry her in the first place. Anyway, they offered for me to be their sex slave. Me, the guy who was loyal to her and asked to marry her, to be the cleanup boy for her and her lover. So, I doused the house in lighter fluid and burned it to the ground..." Candice exits from her room and walks over to the two of you. The boy runs up to her and gives her a big hug. "I see you've met my son," she says. She kneels next to the boy. "So, what were you guys talking about?" The boy blurts out, "He said he is a cock hold and is a slave to pussy and burned the house down!" Candice chuckles in disbelief, "What?" You correct the boy, "I said 'cuckold', not 'cock hold'. Although sometimes being a cuckold involves holding the other man's cock."

Candice gives you a stern look. "Michael, please go into your room for a moment." The boy scurries off into his room. Candice crosses her arms and stares you down judgmentally. "What the hell are you telling my son?" You calmly reply, "I'm teaching him the ways of the world, Candice. It's a dangerous place out there and he needs to know certain things." She snaps, "Why would he ever need to know what a cuckold is?" You wait a few moments before telling her, "I'm a cuckold." Her expression changes to one of sorrow and regret. You continue, "He asked who I was so I told him. That's all I am. That's all I'll ever be..." Candice sits next to you on the couch, still hot and sweaty from her yoga workout. She puts her arm around you, "No, that's not true. You know that's not true. You're a good person." You reply, "You don't even know me." She continues, "I know enough. Having someone cheat on you does not define you as a person. You chose not to press charges against me today as an act of kindness. It's those kinds of acts that define who you are." She continues stroking your arm comfortingly. The two of you lock eyes and share a moment of silence with underlying sexual tension.

What do you do?

A: Go in for a kiss on the lips.
B: Go in for a kiss on her downstairs lips.
C: Take her hand and slowly move it to your crotch.
D: Lift up her arm and start licking the sweat from her armpit.
E: Stand up and fart in Candice's face.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

B - 1
C - 3
D - 3
E - 1

Need a tiebreaker.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

D: Tell her that you can't feel your crotch, and ask if she could feel it for you.

"Actually, there is," you respond. You stretch your legs on the couch, pretending that it strains you to do so. "I don't have feeling in certain parts of my body." Candice looks surprised, "Should I take you to the hospital?" You shake your head, "No, it's okay. It's just... my crotch. I... I can't feel it. Would you mind?" She has a perplexed look on her face. "Would I mind what?" You clear your throat. "You know," you start, "feeling it for me?" A prolonged uncomfortable silence fills the room. You aim your head at your crotch as if to signal her to get to work. She starts chuckling, "Oh, you're funny!" Your grimaced expression does not change. She continues, "Listen, stay here and rest for a while. I'm going to do my yoga in the other room. If you need anything just let me know. If you need anything serious I mean!" She giggles as she walks away. "'Would you feel my crotch...' Hilarious!" She enters her bedroom and closes the door.

"Shit," you mumble to yourself. You sit up on the couch and scan the room. There's the tiny TV, a rusty refrigerator, a small table with a couple of chairs, a pile of dirty clothes in the corner, and the couch your sitting on. The walls are moldy; your old bedroom was bigger than this entire house. But something catches your eye - a firetruck toy. Once you notice that, you begin noticing other oddities laying around; a couple action figures, a Death Star Lego set. Much to your chagrin, a boy no older than 10 comes out from one of the other rooms. He instantly notices you. Goddammit. He speed walks over to you. "Hello!" the boy says enthusiastically. "Who are you?"

What do you do?

A: Answer the boy honestly and try to bond with him.
B: Claim that you're a serial killer and that his mom is your next victim.
C: Explain the meaning of cuckold to the boy and tell him your story.
D: Ignore him completely and enter Candice's room to watch her do yoga.
E: Say that you're his father.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

C: Propose a bribe, assuring her that you won't press any charges if she takes you back to her place, then proceed to woo her.

You lift your head slightly, startling the woman. "Oh, my God! Sir? Are you okay?" The woman kneels down and rapidly waves her hand in front of your face. You swiftly grab her arm. "Stop that." You lift yourself up into a sitting position. You have minor scratches and bruises across your body, but you feign greater injuries by holding your neck, shaking. The woman paces back and forth. She pulls out her phone, "I'm going to call an ambulance." You shake your head, "No, don't do that." She rebuttals, "But you're hurt! I have to-" "No!" you interrupt. She slowly puts her phone back into her purse. "Okay..." she starts, "Listen, I'm really sorry. If there's anything I can do..." You groan, "You hit me with your fucking car." She becomes visibly anxious. "I did. I'm terribly sorry. Please, let me help you up." She leans into you, her exposed cleavage mere inches from your face, and helps lift you onto your feet. You fake a limp as she carries you to her car. She helps you into the passenger seat of her lime green Prius, then scurries around to the driver's side and sits in the car next to you.

A tense silence fills the air. "You're not going to press charges, are you?" she tentatively asks. You sigh dramatically. "I'll tell you what," you begin, "If you take me back to your place and help fix me up, I'll forget the whole thing." A jovial expression comes across her face. "Oh, of course! It's the least I could do." She starts the car and begins driving. "I was on my way to my yoga class and I saw this crazy explosion a couple blocks away. I was distracted; I've never hit anyone before. Then again, you were walking in the middle of the road." You give her a stern look. "Are you saying this is my fault?" She replies, "No, no, of course not." She chuckles nervously, "No, I should have been paying attention." Another awkward silence ensues. "I'm Candice, by the way." You shrug. She continues, "I live right over here." She makes a right turn into a residential street. You look out the window, admiring the gorgeous architecture of the passing homes. She must be a millionaire to be able to afford one of these houses. She then pulls into a driveway. You gasp when you see the deteriorating, wooden shack she calls a home. "You live in this shithole?" you grumble. She smirks, "Home sweet home." She parks the car, runs around to your side and helps you out of the car. You both traverse through tall weeds in her front lawn and enter through a large hole in the side of her house.

She lays you down on a shaggy couch. "There we go," she whispers. "Make yourself comfortable." The house is messy and dark; there's minimal decor and furniture, though there is a tiny 10" TV set across the room. "Is there anything I can do for you?" she asks.

What do you do?

A: Politely decline, stating that her company is all you need.
B: Ask for a sandwich and a sensual striptease.
C: Ask her what she does for a living, slowly gaining her trust as she converses with you.
D: Tell her that you can't feel your crotch, and ask if she could feel it for you.
E: Ask for a rimjob.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

F: Walk away and be cool by not looking at the explosion behind you

You turn and walk away, ignoring your fiancee's desperate cries for help. You exit your lawn and start walking down the road, paying no mind to the arson that has occurred behind you. Your fiancee's screams become quieter and quieter the farther you walk. A faint smirk comes across your face as you hear a thunderous explosion from where your house used to be. You continue your meditative stroll, not even bothering to glance back. It's nice and peaceful now. Your fiancee is screaming no more. The only memento you have of her is the lingering taste in your mouth of her and Jamal's bodily secretions that you recently licked off of her bare body.

You continue walking around your neighborhood, taking the time to appreciate the lavish scenery around you. Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain in your back and you black out. Moments later, you gather the strength to open your eyes. You see a parked car in the middle of the road, and a gorgeous woman in a tank top and tight yoga pants hovering over you. Her lips are moving but all you hear is a high pitched screech; your hearing has not yet recovered. You deduce that you've been hit by a car, presumably driven by this woman. You feel a surge of agonizing pain course through your entire body. As your senses slowly return to you, you start to understand what the woman is saying: "Are you okay? Oh, my God, please be okay. Sir! Are you alright, sir? Oh, God. Please say something." Although you're in great physical pain, you believe that you haven't incurred any life-threatening injuries. The woman is crying hysterically.

What do you do?

A: Assure her that you're okay and you won't press any charges against her.
B: Proclaim that you need CPR in order to catch your breath, then forcefully make out with her in the process.
C: Propose a bribe, assuring her that you won't press any charges if she takes you back to her place, then proceed to woo her.
D: Threaten to sue her unless she partakes in degrading sexual acts with you, then sue her anyway.
E: Mumble "brains" repeatedly and start crawling toward her like a zombie.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

F - 4
C - 3
D - 1

Last chance to save Jamal.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

G: Lock them inside and light the house on fire

You stand up and walk out of the room. Your fiancee asks, "Where are you going, dear?" You reply, "I'll be right back." You close the bedroom door and lock it from the outside. Sensual noises and giggling can be heard from inside the room. You speed walk to the kitchen, open a drawer, and grab some lighter fluid and a lighter. You proceed to douse the house in lighter fluid - the curtains, the furniture, the walls, and especially the bedroom door. You leave a trail of lighter fluid following you out the back door. You stand in your backyard and take one last look at your home. Good riddance.

You kneel down next to the trail of lighter fluid and ignite the lighter. Flames burst from the trail you left to inside the house, engulfing the house in fire. You chuckle to yourself. "What a whore." But you notice something out of the corner of your eye. It's your bedroom window; it's half-open and your naked fiancee is sticking her head out trying to climb through. She's screaming at the top of her lungs. You rush over to the window. "Honey! Help us, please! It's spreading inside the room!" she pleas. "I'm stuck! The window won't open anymore! Please, help!"

What do you do?

A: Help both your fiancee and Jamal escape through the window.
B: Help your fiancee out of the window, but leave Jamal to die.
C: Push your fiancee back and help Jamal out of the window, leaving your fiancee to die.
D: Kick your fiancee's head back in and slam the window shut, leaving them both to be burned alive.
E: Slam the window shut to decapitate your fiancee and leave Jamal to be burned alive.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

D: Enter the room and submit yourself to Jamal, recognizing that he's the true alpha male.

You've heard enough. You take a deep breath, open the bedroom door and enter the room. The musky atmosphere is so dense you could cut it with a knife. Your fiancee's supple, naked body is bent over on your bed with Jamal standing behind her, also naked. Both are sweating profusely. They immediately stop and stare at you in shock. Jamal withdraws his penis from your fiancee's ass. "Shit, man. I'm so sorry," he proclaims. You lock eyes with your fiancee. She runs her hand through her greasy hair, pulls herself off the bed and walks close to you. "Sweetie," she starts, "you know I love you." Her face is now an inch away from yours. You inhale her pungent, penis-flavored breath as she whispers, "And I know you love me, too." She caresses your face gently. "Please, don't let this change what we have together." She kisses you on the lips and slides her tongue into your mouth. You taste what you can only assume to be Jamal's taint.

You pull back. "Hold on," you say. You take a second to catch your breath. You look at Jamal who is standing across the room. His erect penis is pointing straight at you; it's about the size of your arm. You begin walking toward him. "Listen, man, she said it was cool," Jamal states. "I don't want no trouble." Once you're in arm's reach of Jamal, you knell onto the floor. "I submit myself to you, Jamal," you begin. "You're the alpha male in this house, not me. I could not please my fiancee. That's why she lied to me, saying she's pure and a virgin, an honest Christian girl saving herself for marriage. But I know now she just needed a real man. A real man to take care of her, to satisfy her, to fill her holes for her. I could never be that man. I only want her to be happy; that's all I've ever wanted. And for giving her such happiness, I have no choice but to thank you." You kiss Jamal's feet. "Thank you, Jamal, for showing me the light. You are the master now, and I am yours to command."

Jamal takes a step back. "Um, okay..." Your fiancee kneels down beside you and whispers in your ear, "I love you so much, honey. I knew you would understand." She gets up and goes to Jamal, pressing her naked body against his. She licks a drop of sweat trickling down his muscular torso. "Maybe we could use him," she suggests to Jamal. "We always make a mess. It would be nice to have a servant to clean up after us." Jamal nods, "Whatever you want, baby." Your fiancee giggles with excitement. "Oh, this is the best day ever," she exclaims, "but first you're going to have to prove your worth." You look up at her. "How can I do that?" you ask eagerly. "That's for you to decide," she declares.

What do you do?

A: Make them sandwiches.
B: Dress up in your fiancee's lingerie.
C: Pull down your pants and bend over submissively.
D: Suck your fiancee's anal juices from Jamal's throbbing penis.
E: Ask your fiancee to leave the room so you can share an intimate moment with Jamal.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

B: Press your ear against the door and listen.

You stand up from the couch and walk towards the bedroom. Your fiancee's giggling gets louder and louder the closer you get to the door. You press your ear against the door. You hear your fiancee howling ecstatically, but that doesn't arouse your suspicion. She's passionate about what she does; she loves to teach. What concerns you is the faint grunting sound you hear, presumably from Jamal. "Oh, yes! Yes! Oh God, yes!" your fiancee squeals. He must be answering all of the questions correctly, you think to yourself. But the grunting gets louder, too. It's at that point you get a whiff of something from under the door. It's a putrid sweaty discharge, not unlike the taste you have in your mouth. It's at this point you begin to worry. Is she cheating on me right now? Was it Jamal's bodily fluids I was licking off of her body? Is she not actually a virgin?

Your mind races, but you continue to listen intently. Maybe you're misreading the situation. "Slap my ass, baby! Harder!" she screams. Maybe you're not misreading the situation. The smell, the grunting, the sound of bare flesh clapping expeditiously. All signs point to one thing: you're being cucked.

What do you do?

A: Masturbate.
B: Knock on the door and ask if everything's okay.
C: Storm into the room and punch Jamal in the face.
D: Enter the room and submit yourself to Jamal, recognizing that he's the true alpha male.
E: Enter the room and ask if you could watch.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

C: Bow to him respectfully then reach for his genitals.

Jamal affably puts out his hand for you to shake. You disregard it and bow before him. Jamal chuckles. "Wow, that's unnecessary," he says. As you're bent over, you quickly reach for his pelvic region. You firmly grasp his flaccid penis which is easily seen through his basketball shorts. It's long and thick; he's definitely a shower. Jamal slaps your hand away. "What the hell are you doing, man?" Your fiancee speaks on your behalf: "He's just excited to meet you is all. Come on in!" She grabs Jamal's hand and leads him into the house. You close the front door behind him.

"Okay, sweetie, Jamal and I are going to work on some... math," your fiancee says with a big smile on her face. You notice she has her body pressed against Jamal's with his hand resting on her ass. "We need to work on your trig, right?" she flirts. Jamal smirks and leans in close to her. "I'll trig all over your face, baby." Your fiancee giggles and takes Jamal into your bedroom. "Give us a couple hours, honey!" She closes the bedroom door. Your curiosity gets the best of you. Could she really be cheating on me in my own house, in the bed we share? No, she always has good intentions. She's just a dedicated teacher's assistant who wants what's best for her students. But why was she so sweaty today? It was chilly outside. And why did she taste so rancid? It didn't smell like her usual sweat. It's almost as if she had swapped bodily fluids with someone beforehand. But we've never had sex before. She's saving herself for marriage like a good Christian girl. Something doesn't add up...

You sit down on the couch to clear your head. You hear uncontrollable giggling from your bedroom. She never laughs like that with you. Is trig really that much fun?

What do you do?

A: Ignore them and masturbate.
B: Press your ear against the door and listen.
C: Knock on the door and ask if they'd like some help.
D: Kick down the door and kiss your fiancee, establishing your dominance.
E: Kick down the door and kiss Jamal, establishing your impotence.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

au_gold posted...

C: Offer to lick the sweat off of her body.

"I could lick you clean if you want, honey," you suggest. "Oh, you're such a sweetie!" she exclaims. She sits down on the couch and puts her legs up on the coffee table. You kneel on the floor and take her shoes off for her. Her bare feet are glistening with sweat. "I've been on my feet all day," she says. "How do they smell?" You put your nose up against her toes and inhale deeply. The scent of burnt rubber and body odor overwhelms your nostrils. She lays back on the couch and starts to polish her fingernails. "Don't forget to clean in between the toes," she says. "Yes, love," you sheepishly reply as you press your tongue against the sole of her foot and slowly lick up to her big toe. The salty flavor gets you mildly excited. You begin licking in between her toes, swallowing the sweat residue that she has accumulated throughout the day. "The other foot now, dear." You comply without hesitation.

Now that her feet are clean, you work your way up to her legs. "Don't get too excited now," your fiancee says. "Jamal should be here any minute." You move on to her other leg, licking from her heel up to her inner thigh. The trail of sweat is dense enough for you to gulp down. "And my armpits?" she asks. You sit next to her on the couch. "Of course, love." She puts down her nail polish and lifts up her arms. You put your face near her underarm region and begin licking the potent, salty scum from her armpit. She is especially sweaty today, but she's a hard worker; it's to be expected. You stand up and sit on the other side of her, and start licking her other armpit diligently. "Don't miss a drop, dear," she says. Your face rubs against her inner arm as you lick her filthy crevice clean. You hear a knock at the door.

"That's him!" Your fiancee jumps up from the couch and runs to the front door. "Aren't you excited to meet him?" she asks giddily. You join her at the foyer of the house. "Sure," you perfunctorily reply as the taste of her vile bodily excretions continue to fester in your mouth. You open the door and see a tall, hefty black man standing on your porch. "Hi, I'm Jamal," he says.

What do you do?

A: Slam the door in his face.
B: Introduce yourself and give him a passive dead fish handshake.
C: Bow to him respectfully then reach for his genitals.
D: Greet him with a peck on the cheek.
E: Greet him with a sloppy kiss on the lips.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.

Your fiancee has returned home from a long day of work. She's wearing a tight schoolgirl outfit that reveals a modicum of cleavage, a miniskirt, high heels, and has her hair up in pigtails. Since her job is a teacher's assistant, you pay no mind to her risque outfit choices. As she likes to put it, "it's so the students have something to look forward to when going to class." You notice that there's a translucent glaze of sweat encompassing her body.

"Busy day today, honey?" you ask. "Oh, you have no idea," she replies, "and it's not over yet. I have a student coming over in a few minutes. I'm tutoring him." She walks past you, completely dismissing the fact that you're holding a bouquet of flowers. She looks into the nearby mirror and pushes up her breasts, revealing even more cleavage. She continues, "I think you're really going to like this guy. He's an African American." You put down the flowers and walk up behind her. "Why would his ethnicity influence the way I feel about him?" you ask innocently. "Oh," she says, "well, that's why I like him." She's quite honest and blunt, which is why you fell in love with her. "That sounds nice," you bashfully reply.

"I need to look good for when he comes," she starts, "but I'm all gross and sweaty." She curls up her bottom lip and gives you her puppy dog eyes look. "What should I do?"

What do you do?

A: Suggest that she take a shower.
B: Suggest that you take a shower together.
C: Offer to lick the sweat off of her body.
D: Offer to hose her down in the backyard.
---

Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.