Lurker > Kamekguy

in the manga Majora myth, Majora is defeated because someone is willing to befriend it, and then plays the drums for three days straight, causing Majora to rapidly age and die in joy.

If DK has to go inside of the moon to beat some weird metaphors and they ask him to play, he is a world-renowned musician with covers of songs like Row, Row, Row Your Boat, Wild Thing, Losing My Religion, and Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!). He is uniquely equipped to make history repeat itself.

Alucard (Castlevania)
David Xanatos (Gargoyles)
Terry McGinnis (Batman Beyond)
Dale Cooper (Twin Peaks)
Aya Brea (Parasite Eve)

Looking at The Moon in Majora's Mask as it is about to make impact, it is about equal to the size of Clock Town, with the cone of flame and destruction extending a bit further. Donkey Kong Country Returns' factory seems to be about small city-size, especially if it was based off of Kremkrock Industries or, more likely, is the remnants of said industry restarted by the Tiki Taks and Corporal Cluck. I then took an image of the ending of Returns that shows the rough location of the factory, increased the size of the MM moon to be generous, and placed ut in to show roughly how large the impact would be compared to the DK moon.https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/7/9/1/AAPJzrAADoXv.jpg

... Link gets wiped by that? Link's WEAK.

Donkey Kong

Excuse me, if we are claiming that you need ample storage to pull powers from.

DK is no slouch.

https://mario.wiki.gallery/images/b/bd/Donkey_Kong_-_Back_Art_-_Donkey_Kong_Country.png

DK's implied to have his coconut gun, which is from the same title as Strong Kong.

Unless you'd like to argue that Wario just keeps a vampire bat in his back pocket explicitly to transform him into a vampire. Which, admittedly, is funny and would be on-brand for Wario.

Oh if we're just tossing in one-off power-ups.

Like, DK's unique power is just straight up invincibility in DK64.

That's gonna run through most of Wario's lose-in-a-hit power-ups in short order. Even his projectile power-ups are pretty short range. Additionally, DK's been able to call and repel lightning.

Wheatley (Portal 2)
James Sunderland (Silent Hill 2)
Scarecrow (DC Comics)
Aya Brea (Parasite Eve)

Mewtwo59 posted...

I hope you aren't talking about the Sol Katti here. That's possibly the worst weapon in the entire series. I have no idea what they were thinking with that one.

Look I know it reduces her speed to the point where she loses all edge as an actual unit and doesn't actually outpace a silver sword thus making it an objective disappointment.

But it looks cool and effective damage makes my brain tingle.

Magikoopa - Mario Superstar Baseball

Magikoopa is probably the first character even casual players will go yo this guy is cracked to that isnt a home run machine. Instead of wearing a glove, Magikoopa holds the ball by hovering it over his head with his wand. For whatever reason, this causes the game to count his wand as a massive hitbox in the field, making him rival characters with Super Jump in vertical prowess with a normal leap. But then you couple that with his special ability, Magical Catch, which is basically Yoshis Tongue or Birdos Suction with an even longer range as Magikoopa decides nah, dont feel like playing baseball, I caught it lol. However, magical catch is a bit more finicky than the dinos, as while it has the longest range, it also has the longest animation, Magikoopa taking foreeeever to slowly guide the ball into his clutches, making it the least likely of the abilities to score double plays. This is coupled by the fact that he gets locked into the animation whether he can actually catch the ball or not, sometimes slowing it so it gets to your outfielders less quickly. AND hes got a horrible throwing arm and is horribly slow! This keeps Magikoopa from serving the same outfield role that Yoshi dominates, and makes him inferior to Birdo and a lot of the best 2nd/Short options in the infield. On the flip side, though, this makes him an INCREDIBLE corner baseman. It doesnt matter if he nabs a ball slowly if its gonna be foul, so any time a ball veers too far past his base, Magikoopa can very easily convert any battle mistakes into outs. Add in his jump nabbing balls right out of the sky and his weak throwing arm mattering less at the corners which VERY rarely need to throw to each other, and you will not see a game where Magikoopa isnt on a corner (usually 3rd, him and King Boo tend to dominate that position). On top of that, Magikoopa has an exceptional bat, hitting gappers really easily and all of his variants having the line drive star hit, and hes a character with Boo chemistry, giving him an advantage with pick-offs. You can see players picking the more balanced Blue Magikoopa, the stronger and thus better star hit/max potential Red Magikoopa, or the solid backup pitcher Green Magikoopa depending on preference, a real rarity for characters with color variants. Youll never see Yellow Magikoopa, though. His robes smell like piss so he runs slightly faster, but hes still slow.

Lyn - Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword

Lyns such a fun lord surrogate character. Admittedly, of all the FEs Ive beaten, 7 is the one I have the most passive memories of outside of going oh yeah, that was good consistently and I really liked Ninos arc, I wish she was more usable. But Lyn is a constant highlight, essentially thrusting the myrmidon class into the spotlight and serving as a perfect beginner character for the Fire Emblem series. Sure shes kinda frail, but she makes up for it by being dodgy and critting every ten seconds with the Mani Katti; shes supposed to be your secret weapon, the ringer thats gonna close out fights with a flash. And with this being the worldwide introduction to Fire Emblem, its really important to have a character new fans can glom onto and feel that sense of thrilling empowerment, combined with the dread of losing it all. Lyn is stellar at that, and even though she falls off pretty hard the further through the game you get well one I appreciate that your initial lord isnt doing a hard carry through the game (which would be great if Marcus also fell off), but I think its absolutely fine, she serves her role at the beginning perfectly and gets a real cool power boost right at the end so you can feel good for taking her all the way. Lyn is a character who really did need to appear in Smash in some form, and while I think you could make a really fun speedster swordswoman moveset with her (Sora and Meta Knight are the only ones really holding up that role at the moment), I think her assist trophy appearance is fine. I really like one having this constant, building tension of a powerful quick draw strike, puts the feel of something like Samurai Kirby into the game, its great. One of the few times you really want to rush down and beat an Assist Trophy instead of simply avoiding them.

Black Knight - https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/80133166/967645111

Fighting Polygon Team - Unplayable

The best version of the fighting teams, bar none. Alloy and Wireframes were fine, Id even say that the wireframes having the Smash logo faces made them a lot more distinct as minions of Master Hand. But theres something about that mess of purple shapes that always confronted you on the versus screen that made you go HUH? OK THEN. Also just sick designs in general, like the Yoshi polygon with the sharp teeth? Legitimately terrifying. They KIND of harkened back to this with the light and dark souls that galeem and dharkon summon in Ultimate, with the characters reduced to a single glowy gradient, but those lack the distinct character that the Polygon Team had. There was something neat about figuring out which body belonged to which character, seeing these weird deformations of half-finished characters, like Master Hand was creating these half-ready husks as a final test. Really distinct stuff, also fantastic theme on Battlefield, I dont think theres a song other than the character select screen thats so distinctly Smash 64.

Dante - Devil May Cry 3: Dantes Awakening

Its not that I dislike Devil May Cry V at all, its that I love playing as Nero and V so much that Dante often takes a step back. Blame his theme being the worst so I dont care to get good so I feel the dopamine. I dont really have to elaborate on why DMC3 Dante is so solid, yeah? The feeling of swapping styles for the sake of style, the experimentation that comes with every new weapon reward, the fluidity of movement. DMC3 was the no baby come back, I can change I swear! gift after DMC2, and it feels like its trying everything in its power to make you love it again. And damn, it succeeds in doing so. DMC isnt my absolute favorite character action series - God Hand is over there being its own weird, perfect little creation and has destroyed my ability to gauge the genre accurately - but I do greatly appreciate not only the trailblazing that Dantes done, but how he remains incredibly fun at his core. Plus I mean, Devil May Cry is just so GOOD at framing its bosses, like the set-up to these showdowns is pristine every time in a way Bayonetta couldnt hope to keep up with. And I like Bayonetta, its just not Vergil 3. It could never be Vergil 3. Wish Dante got in instead of Byleth, really do, that was a good rumor going around and it woulda been fun. The sheer variety Dante could bring is fabulous, and unlike a character like Joker, you GOTTA bring his variety - they did it for Marvel 3, anything less would be underachieving!

Vito Corleone (The Godfather)
Max (Sam & Max)
Calvin's Dad (Calvin and Hobbes)
Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy (Star Trek)

Wario has the better strength feat against a living opponent - Dino Mighty from Wario World's a good deal larger than the biggest baddy DK's tossed around with his bare hands, that being the Ghastly King from Jungle Beat. He's also very much more durable, even taking pure indestructibility out of it, he tried to blow himself up and just sort of mildly inconvenienced himself.

https://youtu.be/_g-NLYOSPjk

However, the issue is that Wario... kind of sucks as a fighter? Like he's a fantastic wallbreaker, you put him up against an armored knight and he takes the sword to the face, then punches them into next week. But from a technical sense, Wario is a pure street brawler who relies on being able to take a hit in order to land an even better one. DK... is gonna land the better hit from a pure force perspective, enough to blow Wario away more likely than not. The question is less "can DK beat Wario" and is more "can DK hit Wario away enough times that Wario gets bored and leaves?" Because Wario doesn't really have a super to close this out with - the waft only really has Smash to go off of, Wario-Man's greatest actual feat is losing to a steam train, and in general Wario is a "throw the magic back at the genie/clown-god/ancient spirit" kind of guy.

I think DK would eventually defeat Wario via forfeit. But if it comes to "they fight to the death in an enclosed arena that neither of them can break", then nah, Wario wins via simply being too stubborn to kill with blunt force. Might get knocked unconscious if that counts, though.

sans - all elite wrestling

still one of the funniest wrestler intros of all time. like, as much as i appreciate sasha banks sailor moon cosplay or the new day coming out of a giant box of cereal as saiyans, there is something special about a ring announcer having to say that kenny omega is calling on the power of sans from undertale. a really special moment that transcends wrestling itself.

anyway sans is the only reason people play mii gunner. im sure that people would have played cuphead to some extent, but the funny skeleton damn near overshadowed banjo on release, and banjo was banjo! what i think i appreciate most about sans as a character is that, in spite of his overwhelming memetic status and very easily being a character who could lean into that, he just stays totally in-character in his subsequent appearances. he doesnt become a series of references or memes to try to pop the crowd, he plays on the expectation of potentially doing that, and then just keeps living as a character, interacting with toriel and asgore, talking about his brother - sans remains sans. and i really appreciate that about him. i also love the general juxtaposition his existence leaves the game of undertale in, wherein its a fun but fairly straightforward and easy shump-type game if you play it regularly, carried by charm and character that sans exudes. if you dont like it, or even care too much about it, sans provides you with the greatest mechanical reward in the game, at the cost of literally destroying all the things he actually cares about. im not gonna say its a great commentary or anything, i just find it neat and really reinforces the reason the characters the way he is. and the boss fight is really fun.

Daisy - Mario Strikers Charged

When I didnt default to oh its Donkey Kong. Well I cant NOT play as him or yo they made Diddy achieve enlightenment for some reason thats rad as Hell, Daisy was my go-to for Strikers charged. For whatever reason, they gave her geomancy where she strikes the ground and massive crystals burst from the earth underneath her. Gave her a really great balance between the totally busted defensive walls like Waluigi and the offensive juggernauts like Hammer Bro - she was skilled at basically everything, but needed juuuust a bit of skill. I also love how full of herself she is in the game, Daisy gets PISSED if shes losing and its probably the only game where youll get a Mario princess touching her ass and making a sizzle sound, which Im sure awakened a lot of things in a lot of people, but I find it a fun differentiation from Peachs pop princess vibe in this game. Great showing of personality that really evolved Daisy until nothing was done with it.

Mario Baseball Profile: Daisy - Daisy is on the veeeery fringe of being meta, but has a few key traits holding her back. Her Star Hit is interesting, removing the drop zone indicated from a solid line drive hit but she gives it a bunch of loft, making the hit merely a skill check rather than a guarantee like most star hits. Her chemistry tree is awful, having good chem with Peach (out-of-meta) and Luigi (barely meta), and having negative chemistry with Bowser, Waluigi, and Petey Piranha, three characters she is almost DEFINITELY going to be throwing to. Her singles bat is good, probably on-par with Mario, but she doesnt have quite the oomph to knock it out of the park. Her pitching is good, but not good enough to ever consider her as your lead-off, you dont draft backup pitchers explicitly for pitching, and even if you did, Boo/Diddy/Dixie/Waluigi basically has the mound on lockdown. However, she does possess an amazing combination of abilities for the infield - Sliding Catch and Quick Throw. Sliding Catch lets her nab grounders and line drives fairly efficiently, while Quick Throw - an ability that is exclusive to her and Peach - removes all start-up and endlag on her throws and catches. The instant the ball is in Daisys glove, she can toss it to another base, priming her to be the absolute best character in the game at making Double Plays. However, there are three major issues with this; her poor chemistry with first basemen other than Luigi (with Walu and Bowser being very common there) leading to errors, her throwing arm is mediocre at best so a character like Pianta or Wario will usually match or exceed her, especially if they need to throw to third, and she has one of the skinniest hitboxes in the entire game. Hitbox size in baseball is determined by the characters body (except Toads, for some reason, because their heads are huge), giving some characters like Petey real difficulty in catching the ball. Peach and Daisy are the slimmest hitboxes in the game by far, making balls that any other character would be able to grab sometimes just pass them by. Daisy isnt a bad character by any means, she does everything at least OK, but shes beat out by Mario in the generalist role and unless youre really high on a Luigi strategy, isnt gonna contribute more than a specialist. Was a funny time where her Vs Wario for title of meta 2nd baseman that isnt Pianta was a debate, though.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - Remember when they accidentally realized there were slight differences between Peach and Daisy in playstyle and patched that out as fast as possible? Yeah I just dont get the point of Daisy? She makes perfect sense as an echo fighter, thats a popular enough character with a similar enough rig, but they just do NOTHING with her? Like, you dont have to change how the Peach moveset functions in order to make Daisy work, just alter some properties, make it more aggressive, maybe make float faster but last for less time - there are ways to make the Peach playstyle fit with Daisys personality. But it just doesnt? Toad is blue now I guess? The issue this leaves is that Peach has a moveset that fits her very well, finding power in very traditional femininity and using it to kick everyones ass, and Daisy just kind of does the same in spite of her tomboy personality. It doesnt even boil down the character to her core elements, it reduces her to Peach with different voicelines. And thats not why people whined about her not being in Strikers Battle League on release! I dont like being mean to say something is a waste of resources, but like at least if you gave this same treatment to Funky Kong and just added a surfboard to his Up B, itd still get at Funkys character. This is the issues of Lucina without even bothering to give her any meaningful change. Time wouldve been better spent elsewhere, even for Daisy fans. F

Thwomp - Mario Party Advance

Mario Party Advance is like if you took some Mario Party mini-game concepts and decided hey, what if instead of making a party game, we made Yakuza sub-stories where you play mini-games instead of fight? Thus giving us famous lines like Im Bowser, gamer without compare and showing at least five separate Mario characters have crippling gambling addictions. Anyway, for whatever reason, Thwomps mini-game is a detective game investigation sequence for 3-year olds where you have to figure out how he could have been robbed, and for some reason it goes into an Ace Attorney-like study the entire room for clues sequence. Its never used again in the game, its just here. Because Thwomp wants you to waste time on him. And thats neat. Also he rides a moped in a Mario Party 8 mini-game, thats pretty funny. I like Thwomp, but I like Whomp more, for some reason they keep giving Whomp a New Yorker accent and thats just funny to me, plus he had the better selection of extras in that Mario Party 4 mode. In Smash, Thwomp exists? Like, its an iconic enemy, I get why hes here, but its another Mario enemy that does stage control. And out of the Bro/Chomp/Thwomp trifecta, I think he does it the worst and least interestingly. Hes always been a lot cuter as an extension of Kirbys stone ability. Also, Blue Thwomps > Grey Spiky Thwomps, they work better as platforms and still crush you real good, justice for Marty the Green Thwomp from Mario Kart 64.

Polar Bear - Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

I think Polar had the best chase sequences in the Crash series, with the possible exception of the Schnurgle sequences from the alien chases in Crash 4. Something about the way the little bear controlled compared to the others felt right - Pura was always too slow and the hogs always incredibly stiff. Polar, though, he zoomed at just the right pace and had this weird horizontal momentum where he could just move in the air perpendicularly as fast as he could run, and it felt great weaving through obstacles. It culminating in a race away from a giant polar bear was also a great touch, especially with backtracking TO polar leading to the secret warp to Totally Bear for even more bear action. And shoutouts to Unbearable in general, what a fantastic level that terrified me as a child. Polar was also my main in Crash Team Racing when I was a kid, adorable little guy doesnt know how to read or drive but hes gonna do both anyway, love him even if I fell off turn characters in that game hard. This is all to say that I liked the polar bear from Ice Climber in Melee, but I think hes part of the worst section of the Summit stage; that whole water bit is just obnoxious, and he only proves to make it more obnoxious.

Hubert J. Farnsworth (Futurama)
Derek Zoolander (Zoolander)
Sly Cooper (Sly Cooper)
Ford Prefect (The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy)

https://youtu.be/GvhgBHLBRhg

Tornadoes are weak, so even if Max time travels enough times to ruin things irreparably to go for a mutual destruction tie, Donkey Kong will survive. If she went to the past because she somehow found a photograph of Baby DK, I am still confident that Baby DK would win. Baby Kong is shown to still have DK's herculean strength in the cartoon, and Baby DK successfully navigated Yoshi's Island (and was by far the best baby in that game).

PrinceOfKoopas posted...

I tend to have Micaiah at level 20 by 1-9 so I'm not really trying to snipe for XP by then.
Even at max level she still goes down quite easily to the mooks, sometimes being doubled.

Yeah I get you there. Just knowing this chapter is coming up, I try to leave Micaiah with a couple levels to reach max so she can feast in 1-9. Because damn does the Dawn Brigade need all the XP they can get for Chapter 3, that laguz map in the swamp, every single time...

Edelgard - Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I think all Three Houses characters are varying degrees of good insofar as gameplay goes. I know each one has significant advantages and disadvantages in stats and growths compared to others, but I think making more optimal characters is a more dull way of playing, and what differentiates them is clearly their supports. And Edelgard is fine. Like, shes clearly meant to be a very specific ideal personified into an anime archetype, and she executes both of those very well. If this is the type of character that appeals to you, its likely shes appealing VERY well, scratching that same type of I can save them itch that characters like the Persona 5 traitor do. I like P5 Traitor significantly more than Edelgard, mind you, much more fun mask on that one before the other shoe drops, but I think both are well-executed for what theyre going for. I can easily understand hating the character because of how she goes about what she stands for, but I like seeing the depths shell go to or how triumphant her ideals can end up being depending on the route chosen. I appreciate how strongly Three Houses deviates in its back half depending on route; usually choices like these are more subtle until a few endgame chapters, and Edelgard forms an important piece of Three Houses whole through her contribution. Fallen Edelgard pretty much ruined PvP in Heroes, though, so that sucks I guess.

Birdo - Mario Superstar Baseball

Birdo has an incredibly underwhelming bat. Theres a chance in Hell that she hits a homer, but otherwise, shes got incredibly dinky slap hits and easy fly-out charge hits. Normally, she would be dead weight offensively. However, Birdo has the uncontested best Star Hit in the game, the Weird Ball. This turns any ball she hits into an egg, following a line drive trajectory into the outfield, causing the egg to bounce along the ground in a randomized direction three times before finally settling on a trajectory and rolling along. The egg bounces too quickly to properly react, the initial bounce is the only one that counts toward the foul line so it can easily spring into foul territory and require a fielder to book it, and the bounces can actively go OVER fielders at times. This is the most volatile star hit in the game, ranging from a bad egg giving you an instant out to bagging a guaranteed triple at the best of times, or an in-the-park home run if youre playing on a gimmick stadium or an error is made. This makes Birdo have the easiest clear the bases potential of any character in the game, even Bowser; a bad hit can be made into a successful Weird Ball just as well as a good one, Birdo just has to make contact anywhere on the bat and shes got a chance. More skilled players can slice the ball, hitting it on the very first or last frame it can be hit, guaranteeing the ball go straight down the middle to eliminate the possibility of it being caught for an out at all! All of these make Birdo likely the most common choice for captain other than Bowser. A character being captain allows for two things: the number of Team Stars they have available at the start of the game is based on their average chemistry ranking with the rest of their team, and it makes their star hit specials only cost one team star on contact. All other captain candidates on a team will cost two Team Stars if they make contact with the ball, which burns through your resources insanely quickly. A two-star Weird Ball is usually worth it, a one-star Weird Ball? Thats insane value. Birdos only real competition as a captain choice is Donkey Kong, as the Banana Ball is also excellent and both he and Birdo have chemistry with Petey Piranha (for some reason); Bowsers Star Hit is actually terrible, so forcing him to be captain is a nerf to keep his overwhelming power in check. By designing a team around Birdo, you give her the ability to be the most pivotal playmaker on your team, even beyond home run hitters

and that isnt even talking about her defensive utility. Birdo knows Suction, a less powerful version of Yoshis tongue that snoofs softballs swiftly down her schnoz. Now, shes too slow to be a great outfielder like Yoshi, but on shortstop or 2nd? If a ball comes within Birdos zip code, its getting caught into an out. Suction does have a downside, as Birdo is unable to throw the ball for a moment after sucking, but if it nabs a catch out, that hardly matters; its only grounders that really ruin her day. Brido is absolutely fabulous but oddly is usually a later draft choice. Donkey Kong also fills the shortstop/2nd position well and has the added utility of being a home run hitter compared to Birdo, you gotta draft power hitters early or else your opponent will feast on home run hitters, Yoshi and Boo are always valuable, you need to have consistent singles hitters in order to take advantage of Birdo, if youve got Bowser you might not want to be using the Weird Ball for two stars all the time - Birdo is a character that you almost accidentally build your team around. Drafting Birdo as the 6th member of your squad isnt uncommon. But theres no doubting just how fearsome she can be in the right situation - if youre good at setting her up and even adequate at rolling the dice, shell pay dividends. By far her best appearance in the Mario series.

Giant Turtle - Unplayable

He is a friend. I wish that the water wasnt swimmable in Great Bay in Ultimate, that stage was SO much better and more impactful when you sunk like a rock. Now bonking off of the bottom of the laboratory is no longer a skill check for teching. I do think the turtles a really cool way to get into the Great Bay Temple, and find that that temple gets a really bad rap in general, I think the differing water currents and especially the ice arrow puzzles are really neat and dynamic in a more interesting way than a lot of the conveyor belt puzzles of the 2D games. But yeah, its a giant turtle. I like giant turtle.

Lloyd Irving - Tales of Symphonia

I dont think Ive played Tales of Symphonia since what, 2006? Lloyd was never my favorite as a character, weird middleground between the anime meathead idiot hero and the confident bishe JRPG protagonist, never felt like he did either side that well, but he was fine. And damn, when you got to play as him, it was an art form. The way that he naturally air combos with his basic strings, ESPECIALLY for 2004 before Devil May Cry 3 really codified the infinite stylish air juggle as a thing that existed outside of Marvel Vs Capcom, was awesome, and Tempest remains an all-timer of a move to just throw out, turn off your brain, and feel really, really good about. I have no idea if it still holds up (from what I understand and seeing how Tales has evolved, probably not), but it definitely sticks out as something that felt outright magic for its time. Do I think that should translate into a role in Smash? Ehhhh, I think Lloyds time has passed him a bit, I dont think hes QUITE the same case as Cloud where he himself is an icon on-par with his game and I dont think that Velvet and other recent protags are THAT far behind him. But hes really solid, Im sure Id be hit with all kinds of nostalgia hearing brand new Lloyd lines. And while I know theyd never go the extra mile like this man can you imagine Skits in Smash with him? Brilliant.

5-Volt - WarioWare: Get It Together!

I mean, its technically her playable appearance. I like the constant reinforcement of her with a sleep theme, but man, shes awkward to control. Anyway, Game & Wario is a really fantastic game, and Gamer is a huge part of that. One of the things lost in translation with both the Smash Bros stage and the 3DS game is that you actively have to look at the Wii U gamepad to play microgames in order to continue the survival horror aspect of playing games too late and avoiding your mom catching you gaming in bed. Unlike the other two, your peripheral vision is absolutely shot while looking down at the gamepad, making you hyper-sensitive to every noise coming out of your TV. It claws at the edges of your imagination and makes you second-guess everything you hear, especially since every time you put your head under the covers, you get closer to falling asleep and failing. Its the combination of a universally understood childhood experience and the natural fun of a not-so-spooky horror trapping that makes Gamer an all-timer, and its amazing how well they managed to latch onto that concept and make it more fair for a Smash Bros stage. 5-Volt is one of the better stage hazards in all of Smash, and man I miss Game & Wario. Its totally untranslatable to the Switch so its trapped in Wii.U jail, but Gamer, Pirates, Fronks, Art, that one Miiverse game - all amazing little games that more than made the Jackboxification of WarioWare worth it for a fun little experiment.

Electrode - Pokemon Gold/Silver

In Gen 3, Electrode gets outsped by Ninjask, making him no longer the fastest common Pokemon out there. In Gen 1, him setting up screens is worthless. So I guess Gen 2 is really the only time he gets to be relevant and cool as the fastest Pokemon alive, so good for you for that brief, shining moment, Electrode! I dont think Electrode can ever really leave the Smash Bros series, hes such a fun Pokeball to toss out, Its very rare to get someone brave enough to actually throw him, that window is SO tight to accomplish it without blowing yourself up. but because you know its possible, theres always that inclination in your mind of what if. And that makes Electrode so much better as a stage control assist than others; you actively interact with him instead of just running away. With that said, Electrode will always have a place in my heart as the first Pokemon in the Pokerap. If someone cannot recite the rap up to Butterfree, they cannot hold a large place in my heart. Theres a hard cap that ends there at like, Social Link Rank 6 for me.

Black Knight - Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn

Man, the set-up of One Survives is so, so good. Micaiah is far from a capable lord surrogate, dealing good damage but being very frail and going down to a few good hits - a weakness that all Dawn Brigade members share. Isolating her is naturally going to make the player feel powerless BUT THEN THE BLACK KNIGHT COMES IN OUTTA NOWHERE. After having built him up for all of Path of Radiance, and STILL being tough to take down even with how strong of a Lord Ike is, being able to play as the legendary warrior, taking no damage from the pathetic soldiers surrounding him but trying to keep him close to Micaiah, is amazing. Its even more fun to use him as a damage sponge in later playthroughs by dequipping him and trying to make sure that Micaiah is safe and can pick off enemies for good XP! This is how you do a fun and flexible spectacle map in Fire Emblem. I have great praise for the Black Knight as a character in general, one of the few Fire Emblem characters who I think really gets at the heart of the core conflict of his game, gets the opportunity to grow, AND gets to show off as a unit or boss, A shame about his terminal weakness to hammers, but we still got the PoR fight to chew on. Black Knight is exactly what he should be as an assist trophy - a lumbering fortress of respect who crushes anyone near him, and tosses in the good ol Warp Powder to get the surprise drop on someone. Hes a less effective version of Bewear, but I prefer him to the pink bear thing - actually being able to resist him somewhat at the risk of taking a ton of damage is more interesting to me than the purely defensive play Bewear opens up. You should be able to adapt to an Assist Trophys presence, not simply be resigned to dying at their hands, and Black Knight does that amazingly. Id wish he were playable, he more than deserves it but Fire Emblem has enough representation problems as-is for me to be wishing for a big, clanky boy.

Mewtwo - Pokemon Stadium

We dreamed of creating the worlds strongest Pokemon and we succeeded. There was nothing quite like Gen 1 Mewtwo when he came out. There were superbosses in games before, really strong opponents who required approaches totally different than regular fights. There were characters whose power was properly set-up by the game, whispers of their strength permeating through the adventure to build excitement and dread in finally fighting them. There were overpowered characters, like, Akuma existed by 96, an uncontested S-tier was not a new idea. But Mewtwo combined all of these - all the lore, all the stats, all the inherent advantages his game could give him, and all of the control of a player tampering with forces far beyond anything else the game could offer - and made for an unparalleled force. I cannot begin to state how cool Gen 1 Mewtwo was, a reward for becoming a Pokemon Master who wasnt just portrayed as the strongest Pokemon, he had the movepool, stats, and pedigree to make it real. This wasnt a Charizard or Dragonite whod fold easily to a random oyster, no - Mewtwo was the best, period, and youd have to throw out some rogue strategy or your own Mewtwo to even remotely get on his level. And with Pokemon being such a team-based game, but not to the point of baton chaining or otherwise superbuffing a single sweeper, this was a thrilling game of psychic cat and mouse, trying to take out your opponents MVP while preserving as many of your pieces as possible, figuring out when the best time to bring out your own would be. Stadiums changes just enhanced this, ensuring that a just put the whole team to sleep or ParaWrap strategy wouldnt totally invalidate Mewtwos presence after he secures his first kill, or fishing for Hyper Beam kills from Tauros; Mewtwo was even more powerful, even more dominant, Hell, he was a boss fight for a full team of 6 on his own in this game! Stadium was the absolute height of Mewtwos dominance, and everything about him reflected just how truly above the other 150 he was.

Best Smash Appearance: Smash 4 - So that aint Mewtwo in Smash! Mewtwo has a lot of interesting and fun tools - his back and up throws are great, and while his forward throw is underwhelming I will say its a neat concept. I love that he does not pick up items, he just has them float around as his brain does the literal heavy lifting. His neutral air, one of the coolest concepts for one in the game, fantastic. Thats, unfortunately, about where my praise for Mewtwo ends. The power that the character is known for is traded for a floaty, zigagging harassment style akin to the other psychic characters in the game, and Mewtwos actual demonstrations of psychic power outside of his up throw are less than inspiring. Its not that I necessarily think that Confusion and Disable are bad concepts for moves, but the way Mewtwo goes about executing them and the fact that they were likely taken because theyre the top two moves on Mewtwos Gen 1 learnset is less than inspiring. And on top of all of that, most of Mewtwos moves - all his normals and several of his aerials all focus around his pool noodle of a tail. Watch in awe as the most powerful Pokemon lightly bats you with his ass-arm while crossing his front-arms and pouting with the most grrr im angy expression he can muster. Mewtwos physicality takes precedent over his general abilities and characterization which is admittedly a tack taken for most Pokemon. And typically, it ends up pretty well for them! But not for Mewtwo. Smash 4 probably does the best job with him, ambiguous teleports and air dodges giving him an air of unpredictability, but man. Just comparing whats done with Sephiroth, or even Ganondorf when it comes to feeling afraid of approaching him, or leaving yourself open man, Mewtwos a whole bunch of lost potential. I do have really fond memories of going to sleepovers at different friends house to unlock Mewtwo on each of our individual memory cards, though. Real bonding experience. D


Toadsworth - Mario Superstar Baseball

I miss Toadsworth. He was just this neat presence to be in games, and was a great host for Mario Party 7. I miss having this chancellor of the kingdom role thats existed since Mario RPG and then just went away after the Mario & Luigi series died out.

Anyway, Toadsworth doesnt have a lot of advantages. His chemistry trees are irrelevant, supporting no one who can belt a homer and only Toadette out of meta characters, someone he should never be throwing to, realistically. Hes slow in the field, has a horribly slow throwing arm because he is very old, and while his pitching isnt bad, hes only ever gonna be a backup pitcher. The only thing the old man can really bring to the table is the most consistent singles bat in the entire game, and thats frankly all that he needs. Toadsworth has the same bat size as DK and the Bros, giving him the same he will get a good hit or whiff the ball usually dynamic that those two have. His strength is perfectly suited to hitting gappers, and in general, he can be seen as a very reliable body to get on base and extend plays. Toadsworth is ideal at any point in your lineup - the top to set up your power core, in the middle of the power core to better extend it, after your dead hitters so the top of your lineup has a good position. He even has the line drive star hit, one thats MUCH less prone to getting double played than the others because of Toadsworths great contact zone, letting him score runs when needed be! Toadsworth can be seen as a Hammer Bro with slightly more defensive versatility but a lot less offensive potential, but what he offers is certainly nothing to sneeze at. Hes not an absolute necessity to see every game depending on your team composition, but no team would be worse for sticking him in center. Also one of the few characters in the game who cant bobble at all, so thats nice!

Yoshi - Super Mario World 2: Yoshis Island

Its astounding how consistently good the Yoshi series is when it comes to controls. The games vary wildly in actual quality, but that often comes down to level design, difficulty, and how much they lean into their gimmicks. There are some highs and lows thrown about each game - Baby DK is a blast, for instance, while Baby Wario is nightmarishly dull and spotty to control - but overall, the core established by Yoshis Island still makes for one of the most fun and playful platformers out there. Yoshis Egg Throw is one of the most nuanced moves of its era, turning every single piece of level geometry into a surface to reflect an egg off of. Players are rewarded for this, as turning their eggs red after bouncing it off enough stuff (but not TOO much to break them) turn them into Red Eggs, which explode into stars upon hitting an enemy, which helps the player achieve 100% more easily. The hover jump lets the player make death-defying leaps and even better enables them to get into the right position to launch eggs, mixing the two techniques together to turn a low-risk maneuver into some of the most high-risk, dynamic, skill-based platforming youll see out there. The combo of tongue, toss, and flutter makes Yoshi an absolute standout as a protagonist, but the amount of leeway Baby Mario leaves him in taking damage from enemies and the flutter jump letting him avoid pits still makes Yoshi an incredibly approachable character to newcomers. And THEN you toss in the transformations and fun little gimmicks like skiing and theres such a whimsey to Yoshi that you always want to see what he can tackle next. Hell, you can kill a boss before a boss cutscene entirely based around just how flexible Yoshi is as a character! An absolutely gargantuan effort for the SNES, Yoshi is a delight of a character and has been for years, they just have never stuck him into something as consistently good as Yoshis Island!

Mario Baseball Profile: Yoshi - Weve been talking in terms of best defensive characters before, saying that fielders like DK, Wario, Pianta, Toadette, Waluigi, and others are good. This is completely ignoring the elephant in the room, which is that Yoshi invalidates every single position other than pitcher and catcher simply by existing. Yoshi is not just the best defensive character in the game, he actively warps teambuilding around his presence in a way that only Bowser can match. Yoshis special ability, tongue catch, gives him the largest range for catching balls in the game by far, which is already really strong on similar characters like Birdo and Magikoopa. However, those two have low-to-mediocre speed. Yoshi is the fastest character in the game. Not only does this make him one of the only safe options to steal bases against a Petey catcher, but the combination of his techniques means that he can make catches that are not just impossible for the rest of the cast, but that no one else can even come close to. Opponent hits a line drive? Yoshi on shortstop mashes tongue and catches it before the cameras swapped to a field view. Perfectly placed pop into no mans land? Yoshi nabs it no problem and turns a guaranteed run into a double play. Foul ball? Yoshi on first grabs it straight out of the air without ever leaving the base, granting him a simultaneous double play. This is supposed to be balanced by bobbles, a mechanic that causes accidental errors on fielders. As a speed character, Yoshi has around an 11% chance of bobbling the ball every time he tries to catch it except the bobble pops the ball back up into the air. Yoshi has no problem tonguing up his own error, which causes all sorts of baserunning mindgames if you ever see Yoshi mess up. Yoshi can even tongue a ball that hes bobbled with his own tongue! The only flaw with Yoshi is that theres only one of him in the game - Yoshi is great at every position in the field, but you only get to choose to place him in one at a time. Generally Yoshi will find himself in left field, letting his speed and range shine the most and gobbling up anything in his path, while simultaneously nullifying the effectiveness of Diddys special and neutering Donkey Kongs as they tend to curve left. However, you will find players actively shifting their fielders around for the sake of placing Yoshi in a more advantageous position to counter a specific batter. And on top of that, Yoshis got a decent bat on par with Luigi and Dry Bones, and his special causes the ball to randomly bounce around three times in the infield as a hail mary, so hes not even a detriment to your batting lineup! Yoshi is an incredible character who can do EVERYTHING except actually win you the game. Yoshi lacks the threatening presence of Bowser, DK, Bro, Petey, or even King Boo or Birdo, and presents you with no counters to home run hits. Yoshi needs a team around him to actually get batters over the plate, but his defensive utility is absolutely unmatched.

Best Smash Appearance: Melee - Melee was the last time I felt something from Yoshi other than oh, Yoshis here! Still having his weird SNES dinosaur posture, having so many unique interactions with the cast due to his invincible double jump, Yoshi was weird and wacky and so interesting to see as his playstyle was so, so counter to the rest of the meta. Since his spine was corrected in Brawl, Im disappointed by just how there Yoshi is. Hes far less dynamic than his home series, his eggs probably being one of the most disappointing translations to Smash of any projectile save maybe the Charge Buster. Yoshi doesnt really feel like Yoshi, he feels like a Smash 64 template whos been tweaked bit by bit over the years until hes lost whats special about him. I dont feel any real animosity toward Yoshi, but this is the second game in a row where the conversation has been oh just wait until people get good with Yoshi, his fundamentals are SO strong. And then everyone gets bored of Yoshi and that never happens due to lack of interest. BUT THE POTENTIAL THO. Yoshi is fine, hes cute, but hes boring. If you quietly removed the character, it would probably take me a long while to even realize he was gone. And thats not something that should be happening for a character as prominent as Yoshi! C-

Tingle - Ripened Tingles Ballon Trip of Love

Honestly, Tingle is my choice for next Zelda rep. Yeah, hes a gross little imp man who isnt cool like all the other Zelda characters, but he has the ability to make for a bunch of really fun moveset ideas, actually appears in multiple Zelda games in prominent roles, and theres something in my heart that is screaming to beat others with Tingle of all characters. In any case, Tingles had a surprising amount of playable appearances! From the Tingle Tuner in Wind Waker giving him a bad co-op mode if you love buying Nintendo peripherals like you know you do to his Hyrule Warriors appearance being fun and over-the-top if hard to actually play to Rosy Rupeeland seeing him pay off a bunch of thugs to fight his battles for him in an evolution of For Frogs The Bell Tolls. However Ballon Trip of Love sees Tingle going through a dating sim slash adventure game where he is so horrendously ugly, he has to do various chores to make up for how horrendously ugly he is, then win dating sim sequences to swoon women to eventually go to a ball with him. The entire game is also a parody of The Wizard of Oz, complete with idiot scarecrow, killer android Tin Woman, and just the lion, the lions just the lion nothing changed there. So, yknow. Thats the best appearance, thats the one. I miss Tingle as an Assist Trophy terribly, what a fun, useless man.

Falco - Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Lo, the face of oppression is nigh. Find peace in the grace of shorthop laser, or be done in by thy same sung pistol, Falco has always been a character that Ive gone wow youre well considered for the most part. I hate you. Something about the sheer oppression his laser offered through Melee and Brawl nullifying half of the casts approach options just by existing has put me off from ever wanting to touch the guy, but in spite of that, I do find him a really dynamic character to watch. His super high jump is a great gimmick to give him a solid contrast from Fox while still keeping the dogfighter air superiority fighting style intact. I like the changes theyve given him over the years to better reflect his riskier but flashier dogfighting style and personality, and they finally didnt have him go PERSONALLY I PREFER THE AIR and then he dumps something called a LANDmaster on you. I did always find it funny how you could booster people off the top with Falcos Landmaster jump - definitely the best of the three tanks just for that feature alone, incidental KOs from weak pushes are always funny. I appreciate how many of Falcos moves show off the aerodynamics of his arwing, so many of them featuring various rolls and spins that honestly better emulate the vehicle than Fox or Wolfs moveset. All the pieces are there for him, but I dunno, I dont feel like they totally come together? Like Melee hes fox with stunning lasers which gives him a whole different feel, Brawl hes oh damn a double shot, Smash 4 hes bad, and Ultimate hes improved, but it feels like we still havent quite discovered what his playstyle is yet because his first two appearances were SO laser-heavy? I want to see the Falco meta develop more, this has the potential to be a really sick character, and hes a spacie so hes naturally got his fundamentals down, but man. Weird guy. A-

Best Non-Smash Appearance: Star Fox Assault - Falco really does his NPC appearances better than his playable ones. Only showing you shortcuts and alternate paths if you impress him with fancy flying, his constant griping and bragging, coming in to save the day at the end of Star Fox Adventures - Falco is designed to be a wingman and he fulfills that role really well. As an interchangeable pilot in the Star Fox cast, hes totally fine. I do like that hes shown as an equal to Fox in Star Fox 2, essentially the Luigi of the game but I also dont like Star Fox 2 very much and think yeah, probably a reason it didnt come out. Star Fox controls good, so Falco controls good, and I will reiterate that Assault has a really fun, nonsense multiplayer mode.

Redead - Unplayable

Right? Im not crazy and you can possess one in a game or something? Uh, anyway, these guys exist for that one OH GOD moment in Hyrule Castle Town when you think Ganons made everyone into dried tree-zombies or something, but then its revealed nah, all the people are fine, these are totally incidental, naturally occurring dried tree-zombies Ganondorf made to prank Link, which actually raises more questions and is less relieving. They also have EXCEPTIONAL sound design, from the scream to the little scuttling sounds they make as they cling onto Links body and give him a hug, just delightfully creepy little things. I do greatly prefer the Ocarina design to the Wind Waker design - something about them having no eyes and the sunken infinity of the void in their skulls is infinitely more disturbing. I miss when they stuffed enemies in Crates in Smash, having a Redead show up in the middle of a fight in Temple felt like a weird glitch, but was totally intentional and just the coolest thing. Or just let me spawn Smash Run enemies in select stages, would make Great Cave Offensive a Hell of a lot more interesting.

Dry Bones - Mario Superstar Baseball

To just briefly note Dry Bones in non-Baseball appearances, both of his karts in DS are really cool, hes got a good and interesting personal dice block in Super Mario Party, and the Magic Orb that he has access to in Mario Party 7 is probably second only to the Flower Orb in terms of power.

Dry Bones is an almost perfectly average character in Superstar Baseball - a little slow, but otherwise middle of the road at just about everything. His only ability is Sliding Catch, the most common in the game, but his poor speed and small hitbox makes him a poor fielder, with his ability making him merely adequate. Dry Bones should not be in the conversation for fieldability but there are a few weird traits about them that all add up to him going in and out of the meta. He has chemistry with Bowser, and as Bowser IS the meta, giving him chem boosts is always a good thing, especially since Dry Bones is one of a few characters who wants to use Star Hits. Characters who cannot be captains (not a plumber, princess, Kong but not Dixie, dinosaur, or Koopa royal) dont have access to unique supers, but do have access to generic star hits. In some characters green-colored variants (or is Toadsworth or Magikoopa), they can use the Line Drive Star Hit, likely the strongest of the Star Hits, as if it lands, it practically guarantees runners get batted in from second. However, its also very prone to getting double played if not hit correctly, making it a big risk/reward resource burn. Green Dry Bones finds himself as the second most reliable hitter without a star out of the Line Drive hitters, behind Toadsworth, arguably even with Magikoopa, and ahead of Green Paratroopa and Green Noki (anyone else with Line Drive is not meta relevant for Line Drive). This makes him a reliable battery for the Bowser team. However, two discovers shook up the Dry Bones meta. The first was the Falcon Pop - a specific technique that could be used with the Pop Fly Star Hit that, if hit when jammed, would guarantee the ball lands in the gap every single time, ensuring a single. Most Red character variants had access to this, but Red Dry Bones was surprisingly slightly too strong to use it as consistently as others, being slightly better at batting than other Dry Bones variants and letting Falcon Pop attempts be caught more easily. This increased competition, as now the previously irrelevant Koopa Troopa, who also has chemistry with Bowser, was now potentially recruitable, as was Red Shy Guy, who doesnt have chemistry with Bowser, but was the best generic popper in the game. At the same time, a secret stat was discovered that only applies to Dry Bones and Bowser: the Cursed Ball. For some reason, if Bowser or Dry Bones are pitching, the power of the batters swing will be very slightly reduced on contact, allowing the two to nullify some chem boosts and deny home runs. Bowser has absolutely crap curve on his pitches, but Dry Bones is a fairly decent backup pitcher, giving him a weird, completely unique niche as a closer. Dry Bones is currently in a weird spot where what he does is fulfilled by other characters, but he does everything a little bit well and provides enough unique options that he could fill an 8 or 9 slot on a team fairly easily, especially a Bowser team. Definitely a cool tech choice. And the Red variant looks like Dark Bones from TTYD which is rad as Hell.

Pichu - Super Smash Bros. Melee

Man, I love Pichu in Smash. If you wanted to make a statement in Melee, you absolutely went Pichu, beating your opponent with a character that was very clearly bad, very clearly among the easiest to beat in the entire game, but you managed anyway. Pichus got the perfect combination of impossible cuteness and surprising strength that lets him stand out from his contemporaries, and attacks like his Skull Bash thats much more likely to knock him out than his opponent as he goes rocketing off is great character. Ultimate gives the little guy the most adorable hats in the world as alternate costumes, love my Team Aqua and notch-eared Pichu alts, and that scream he does when unleashing his Final Smash? Like damn, nothing else in the game is that impassioned. I love everything about Pichus character which makes the fact that hes redundant in a way no other character is really unfortunate. The issue with Pichu is that hes a niche version of a character thats already fulfilling a niche. Pikachu is a tiny speedster of a character, weaving through attacks and getting in quick combos while being infuriating to hit. Pichu is a tiny speedster of a character, weaving through attacks and getting in quick combos while being infuriating to hit. I know they have different combo trees, but the fundamental philosophy behind the two is the same; one of them is gonna be better, one of them is gonna be worse, and whichever one ends up worse at the end of the day is going to be left in the dust as everyone who would play this type of character gravitates toward the better one. This is oddly something that wouldnt happen with Raichu - having a slower, stronger Pikachu variant is different enough from Pikachus core feel that Raichu would have to differentiate itself more as a matter of course. Pichu just doesnt do enough different from Pikachu to really carve out its niche. Its easy to imagine possibilities for the little mouse - Nuzzle to paralyze foes or otherwise sacrificing more from its self-damaging ways to hamper foes is the obvious one - but as-is with reality, man. I love Pichu a lot more than Pikachu. I think he nails characterization. I wish he could get out of Pikas shadow. C+

Best Non-Smash Appearance: Pokemon Stadium 2 - I dont think that Pichu was available before Pikachu until Sun and Moon? Thats a real shame. At least Stadium 2 has a mini-game where it can electrocute itself horribly to its little hearts content and the Little Cup where it can actually have a chance to shine. And its real cute! You dont need it to be much more than real cute. As an aside, Pokemon Stadium 2 should be considered the best Pokemon game. If Sonic 3 & Knuckles can count as a video game, Pokemon Stadium 2 w/Dodrio Game Boy Tower and a copy of Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow/Gold/Silver should also count as a video game. Its the same principle!

That one jumpy car from Jak 3 was more fun than the rest of the series combined.

Great voice acting for the time, though! And adding skateboarding to regular platforming for no reason was actually pretty fun when it worked! And the first game was good when it was trying to be Crash Bandicoot instead of Banjo, which wasn't often but that one Atlantis level was good sometimes!

Piranha Plant - Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Amazing how we have almost ten Mario characters in the game, more than that if you count Wario and Yoshi (I dont believe in people who include DK in that), and the best character is a potted plant. Piranha Plant is such a dumb idea for a character, but theyre so much fun. Everything from the little feet it has at the bottom of the plant to the super extend-o vine to the way it bobbles its head awkwardly for attacks shows just how much fun they had designing this character, and gives the little sprout so much of a cheeky just doing his best kind of personality. References are on-point, including that damn Ptooie spike ball translating as one of the most fun projectiles in the game, you being in full control of one of the more annoying Mario 3 obstacles in the most fun of ways. Piranha Plant takes the lessons learned from ROB at a conceptual level and applies them to a character who can both naturally emote better than a faceless automaton and has more to pull from with all the variants and boss versions and RPG attacks. And all of that somehow combined into a very easy to understand and cohesive trapping moveset. It barely even matters if theyre good; Piranha Plant passes the simple eye test of I can play this character at a base level and have a good time with some bullshit. Its about as good of a joke character choice as you can get, a Jigglypuff in concept rather than design, and thats neat. It elevates the plant above where it could possibly be and puts it in the conversation as a character. Well done. A+

Best Non-Smash Appearance: Mario Party 3 - The undisputed king of Duel Mode. Has enough attack power to instantly kill any partner other than Whomp, randomly finding dice blocks to increase your move is busted to let you constantly trek through the board to get the 10 coin bonus from passing Go. Undoubtedly the best starting partner in the game, puts Waluigi in a class of his own and DK having a good match-up against PP is the only reason why hes not the worst starter in Duel Mode (poor Wario). He ruins every board except Blowhard just by being on it but Duel Mode boards other than Blowhard are pretty crap anyway, universally, so its cool. Loses to Boo in the econ game, but ultimately does more damage to Boos controller in the long run and forces Boo into a defensive position, so its still the champ.

Bandanna Waddle Dee - Kirby Star Allies

Spear isnt actually in Star Allies, leaving Bandee as the only user of the ability and actually making him far more unique than Meta Knight or King Dedede surrounding him. Bandana Dee is an exceptionally fun character to toss into Ultimate Choice runs, the elements coming off of his spear giving him a ton of flexibility, the way that wind curves his spear toss to hit diagonal enemies or how lightning rains down from the Waddle Copter especially being a blast to utilize. Im really happy to see Bandee whenever he shows up, and am glad hes taken up the role as Kirbys Tails or Diddy Kong surrogate. Hes a charming character who really nicely represents the themes of Kirby, of anyone being able to be a hero with optimism and positivity and reach the potential they hold inside themselves. I know a lot of people are discouraged by Goomba with a hat joining Smash, and those people are dumb because theyd find any reason for a character they dont like joining. Im sick of arguments like no moveset potential existing when we have like 20 swordsmen with different feels, a potted plant, and a childrens toy who can only move their arms up and down slowly to pick up tops that only work half of the time. The point of Smash is to take these characters and translate the elements that fans love into a fighting game, to better express that to a mass market. I think Bandana Waddle Dee is more than worth that.

Yellow Devil - Unplayable

As far as I can tell, you cant select Yellow Devil in Power Fighters or Battle & Chase, so I dont think hes ever been playable? Anyway, for the Whispy Woods of the Mega Man series Yellow Devils okay? Like his gimmick isnt so much wow cool tree so much as it is wow slow pattern to dodge. And theres something endearing about cheesing the game to beat him the first time, but I feel like hes sort of been run into the ground to the point where hes just not very interesting unless hes abusing sprite flicker to make one of his Mega Man 3 attacks nearly unavoidable. Also he actively ruins Wily Castle as a stage to play on. He interrupts the battle so frequently and makes it all about him in a very prolonged sequence thats never really fun to go through. Like, Metal Face can be avoided, Pyrosphere Ridley is a unique novelty that you play the stage for, Dark Emperor honestly doesnt interfere that much outside of giving stat boosts, 5-Volt in Gamer is a hilariously fun obstacle you enjoy letting the stage revolve around. Yellow Devil is just there. Sucking the fun out of the game, ruining the honestly interesting shifting platform layout of Wily Castle, leaving it as another generic FD variant with hazards off. Sucks, a lot of the Mega Man remixes are great, (Guts Man, Snake Man, Top Man, and Napalm Man I especially like) but no one will pick this stage so they rarely get heard.

Young Link - The Legend of Zelda: Majoras Mask

Depending on what you consider Young Link to be, this could be a number of appearances. Like, if the Oracle games have a Young Link, he might qualify, I do love Oracle of Seasons. Same with any of the games in LttPs vein. But if were focusing specifically on the Young Link who is the Hero of Time, then yeah, Majoras Mask by quite a lot. Young Link was actually the first character I ever really hated controlling as a kid - I got to that part with the fences leading to the Kokiri Sword and was very concerned that I could not jump over them. I openly asked, whats wrong with his knees?, and after seeing him jump off of a cliff edge, discovered that he COULD jump, but simply chose not to. Based on this information, I decided that Ocarina was a bad game sometime in the middle of the Deku Tree and went back to Banjo-Kazooie, a decision I have not once regretted. Deku Link, though? Love that little guy, his spin attack feels great to use, makes total sense why hes so limited, gliding and pond skipping provide for great mobility puzzles. Goron Link? Love rolling around with that guy, big lug, fantastic. Zora Link? Kinda neutered in 3D, but man oh man does swimming with him feel GREAT in 64. Majoras Mask takes the base of Link - who truly only felt good in combat in OoT - and experiments with him in various ways to make him an incredibly flexible character. Most of the masks add onto this, as does the flexibility of most of your weapons and power-ups being optional, dungeon items regulated to simple arrow upgrades. Majora does an amazing job creating a sense of discovery based on the growth of your character, the more you put back into the world giving you a greater reward, culminating in the Fierce Deity just taking Majora over his knee and spanking the demon to death. Its one of the best ways Zeldas managed to marry narrative and gameplay, and deserves praise for not just being great, but turning me, specifically, around on 3D Zelda. Still ruined Ocarina for myself, but hey! Majora really great!

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - I love the design of Young Link they went with in Ultimate. True, its just Melee Young Link, but thats exactly the point. The feel of the character is so close to how a Melee character operates in physics and snappy aerials that it ends up being a proper homage to that bygone time. Is Young Link still annoying because of his oppressive projectile game leading to the same Up B finisher every single time? Yeah, but like, you fish for that optimal string in Melee, thats how it works when youre playing an out-of-meta character or Falco. Yink feels neat and novel in a way that fellow Melee transplants Dr. Mario, Roy, and Pichu dont, not changing himself up in any way, just stubbornly adhering to his roots and changing his playstyle only to make sure he feels even closer to the general vibe of the game hes homaging. Does this cut down on the inherent potential of the character? Oh yeah, Id much rather all that stuff I said about Majora be represented in Young Links moveset, there is an inherent cap to how far his novelty as a nostalgia character can take him. But insofar as just its the old Link you love, but more action? I like him fine. B-

Starfy - The Legendary Starfy

This is the only Starfy game Ive played. I know the 3rd one has Wario in it, is that the good one? Anyway, I really liked my time with Starfy, its a cute little game that does the most to make swimming controls really fun and fluid while not being challenging on any level. But it has this really neat sense of charm to it with the little mini-interviews it gives characters and codexes and just the little smatterings of character. It reminds me of the good parts of those mid-2000s Kirby games, the ones that werent very good compared to the rest of the series, but were cozy times and filled with little bits of personality. A shame none of that comes across in Smash, Starfy basically being the Goldeen of Assist Trophies. I think him swimming around the screen pushing people out of the way, basically constantly going GET DOWN MR PRESIDENT could be really fun. But nah, just spin and be useless. I think there are more amusing joke characters out there (Glass Joe, for instance), Starfy really deserves better than well hes trying.

Roy - Super Smash Bros Ultimate

Roys so strange. His actual personality does not fit his aggressive Smash Bros playstyle at all, the confident and cocky reverse hilt style totally opposite to the finding-confidence-in-himself prince looking to live up to his father, Eliwoods, legacy. The fiery, powerful blade of Roy wanting to constantly toss himself into danger was made up for Smash wholesale, the character made to be a reverse-Marth with only some pieces of concept art to base him off of, and hey, hes red, fire is red! Fire effects whoo! And when he was brought back for Smash 4 well regular Roy sucks, so they doubled down on those explosive elements to make a hyper-offense character who feels really, really great to play, sacrificing his own safety for a chance to hit an opponent with an almost assuredly lethal combo. As such, Roy does not represent Fire Emblem, his character, or his series at all, but still follows the natural evolution of a fighting game character in a way that ultimately makes him fulfilling to play. Do I think he should ever come back? Nnnoooo, I think the Awakening Lords fit his playstyle a lot better personality-wise, even though he feels better to play than both of them. Roy is in a weird position where he is too good for his own good, too enjoyable to properly represent the character that he is, but still too close to the other Fire Emblem characters that he doesnt get to stand out like Ike or Ganondorf. This is a moveset that could do wonders on another character, so much focus has gone into making it feel great but just transplanting it onto someone would feel like theyre just a Roy surrogate rather than their own character, despite Roy only really existing in this form IN the Smash Bros series! Kinda screwed themselves with a good design, here. C-

Best Non-Smash Appearance: Fire Emblem Heroes - Well it sure as Hell aint Sword of Seals, thats for sure! Miserable game where you have to drag Roys worthless ass through every single stage so he can cap it and be done with it, all the while being one of the most miserably underpowered lords in the entire series. The whole game is an escort mission centered around him, safe to say he weighs the entire game down and is lucky that the novelty of playable brigand carried me through (love you, Gonzales). Heroes Ive never liked any incarnation of Roy Ive pulled. But he was playable. So thats a step up!

swirIdude posted...

Where is this Mario Superstar Baseball draft league and how do I join?

https://www.youtube.com/c/DingerCity

This is mostly where I learned about it after I made a (somewhat inaccurate but still fairly good) vid on Superstar Baseball myself. They have a link to their discord, are directly connected with the guys who make Project Rio (the modded version of the game with netplay, the ability to select multiple color variants of characters per game, and other QOL changes like manual fielder switching), plus resources for learning it. Probably the best place I could recommend someone start learning the game.

Mario Baseball Profile: Luigi

Luigi is Mario but worse. Thats been the general consensus on the character. Every team needs a character with the Wall Jump ability - something that lets you jump off of the back fence and intercept home runs - in right field, which is marginally shorter than the left field wall and where most home run hitters tend to wanna launch em. There are six characters with Wall Jump in the game: Mario, Luigi, Baby Mario, Baby Luigi, Bowser Jr., and Toadette. Mario absolutely will see every game, so youd think Luigi would be his counterpart on the opposite team in a Boo Vs Diddy kind of dichotomy. However, Toadette is tied with Yoshi as the fastest character in the game, and while her bat is stinky garbage, she also possesses the Sliding Catch ability and, due to her giant head, is one of the tallest characters in the game. This makes Toadette the far better defensive option by a wide margin, even if Luigi is a better singles bat. Additionally, Luigi and Toadette both have poor chemistry with Bowser, awarding his team less special-granting Team Stars at the start of the game (starting team stars are based on average chem rating with your captain). But Bowser Jr has a maxed out chemistry stat with his papa AND has wall jump, and as the current meta requires Bowser to be your captain if you draft him in an attempt to nerf how overwhelmingly powerful Bowser is, this leaves Luigi as a niche pick amongst three viable options (the babies have never been viable and never will be). This is reduced further, again, with the resurgence of Waluigi; Luigi has negative chemistry with him, and Waluigis premiere position is 1st base. The anti-chemistry bonus has a chance of applying every time Luigi tries to throw to first with Wah on, and considering you would ONLY play Luigi in right field you can see the problem. And Luigi even also has Super Jump! He could be a decent first base with a Mario RF/Daisy 2B/Luigi 1B setup, but Waluigi has successfully knocked his rival out of prominence almost incidentally in clawing back to relevance. You can make Luigi work, and he actually has a place as a niche captain option, as his properly timed grounder fireball special can almost guarantee a single when hit properly. But hes entirely a comfort pick character; you dont pick Luigi trying to make the optimal team, you pick Luigi because hes just good enough to be relevant and you like Luigi. Hes certainly unique, but hes weirdly outclassed.

Zero Suit Samus - Metroid: Zero Mission

Of all the moments of vulnerability in the Metroid series, I think Chozodia is, by far, the best of them. Samus getting shot down, left only with her mobility in her Zero Suit, is a great gameplay hook. and the mechanics of Metroid work surprisingly well in a stealth context, as Fusion proved. Turning the Space Pirates that youve been mindlessly blasting through all games into legitimate threats puts into perspective just how powerful Samus is compared to a regular human, and the way the ruins are built, asking you to complete platforming challenges while maintaining stealth, the run of trying to escape the pirates when you get caught, is a perfect follow-up to the Tourian escape sequence - youve platformed under pressure in a sprint, now do it in a marathon. ZSS provides perfect context for just how GOOD it feels to be Samus Aran, and when you get your suit back and the chozo upgrades come in and you demolish everything in your path, ohhh man. The power trip you get in Zero Mission just cant be beat. And then you get the best escape sequence in the series to cap it off with that damn garbage robot who never moves fast enough blocking your way. Man, Zero Mission is so good.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - ZSS is a stupid idea for a character in Smash, just as a concept. Shes specifically supposed to be in a weakened state to emphasize how strong Samus is, having less tools and needing to adapt through avoidance alone. Putting her into a fighting game is like making Wheelchair Cloud or Post-Microwave Snake or Naked Link their own playable character; you CAN do it, but thats entirely missing the point of the character. And its frustrating, because ZSS is, by far, the best playing character Metroids got. Her gameplan makes sense, her combo routes are enjoyable to go through, shes got a fantastic feeling defensive option with the flippy kick, and most importantly, she gets the movement of Metroid down far better than any other character from that series. The sort of unparalleled air control, zigzagging your way to just the right spot, using clever movement tricks to avoid enemies and get to just the right spot - thats the sort of flexibility embodied by the Metroid series, and ZSS has got it. Is she essentially a Smash-original character ever since she got the gogo boots? Yeah, shes ceased to be any sort of representation of her Zero Mission design outside of a vague reference with the paralyzer. Id call her unnecessary and stupid, but base Samus is so bad at actually being Samus that ZSS feels like a much more cohesive Metroid rep. Do I think you could give this shell to, like, any kick-based character? Yeah, toss this onto Jody Summers or retrofit some of these moves onto Juri or whatever and not much changes. But theres nothing quite like that feeling in Subspace Emissary where Samus finally gets her suit back, appears proud and powerful next to Pikachu, and you immediately realize youre playing a much worse character. C

Boo - Mario Superstar Baseball

First off, I dont think theres a single appearance of Boo that isnt great. This guy is ALWAYS fun to play as, be it in Mario Party, Tennis, Golf, Baseball, or Strikers. Always having the tricky classification gives him this constant unique niche thats fun to play around with, and even in his non-playable appearances, he makes a huge impact in Kart, Party, and even stuff like Super Mario Bros Deluxe. Boos a standout Mario character and really deserves to be celebrated as such.

Boo is the undoubted best pitcher in Mario Superstar Baseball. He has the highest base pitching stat in the game, tied with Waluigi, but throws the ball slightly slower than Wah. This gives him curveballs that are just outright impossible to throw in reality, letting him dominate the plate however he would like to mix up opponents. You WILL see Boo every game, and while Diddy, Dixie, Waluigi, and occasionally Goomba as a rogue choice, whichever team has Boo will have a slight advantage. On top of that, all of Boos competition for pitchers have bats that are alright, but require skill and finesse to land singles. Boo is one of the best singles hitters in the game, possessing the hidden ability that makes his balls have a curved trajectory when he hits them, shared only between himself, King Boo, and Boomerang Bro. While the latter two are power hitters that utilize the ability to steal wacky home runs, Boo is dedicated to hitting the ball into no mans land, right at the foul line and letting it roll over, giving him almost guaranteed singles and very likely doubles. And on top of that, if he happens to give up seven runs, he has the Super Jump ability, letting him play the corner bases well as he nabs high foul balls out of the air. And considering that Waluigi is an excellent 1st Baseman and Boo has chemistry with Wario, who often compliments Waluigi on 1st base, a Wario/Waluigi/Boo core can very effectively lock the right infield down and ensure that pitching is never a problem. Boo is a benefit to every single team hes on, with his only limitations being that he cannot swing a game on his own; he is here solely to provide the most consistency and reliability out of any character in the game.

Pokemon Trainer - Pokemon Legends: Arceus

I really dont like the narrative progression of the Pokemon series. Basically trying to become a super-athlete and gaining the abilities to stomp out injustice where you see it was fine, a noble goal, combines the child superhero fantasy with the child super-athlete fantasy, be the very best, gotta catch em all, Blue is a dick. But slowly, you stop becoming every kids power fantasy and start becoming a very generic RPG chosen one. Your heart is what speaks to Suicune, your purity letting it choose you as a potential master. You hear Dialga and Palkas cries, and they respect your power enough to bend a knee to you and allow you to capture them. You are the chosen one who gets to save an alternate dimension from the evil Deoxys meteor and fly with Mega Rayquaza into space. Whatever the Hell that stuff with Rose is in Sword and Shield just stopping the actual fun part of the game so we can have Apocalyptomon come through the sky. I miss when Pokemon was a straightforward, personal narrative, rather than one of massive stakes and gravitation. You can still tell an effective story without saving the world mixed in there, its fine! My only major exceptions are Black and White, where clearly a ton of gravitas was being placed on the story so a tone shift befitted the direction of save da world, and Colosseum, where youre a defected evil team member and thus get a different starting point than you want to be the very best, but also have you heard of the ULTRA BEASTS?!

Anyway, all that is to say that Legends Arceus just isekais you into ancient times and that sets up you being special a lot better because gods just screwing with you via your smartphone. Plus, like its the game where you actually play as the trainer for more than overworld navigation. Youre running around having stand battles trying to get out of the way of the collateral damage and help your Pokemon overcome any challenge more directly than simply ordering them around. It actually feels good to control the Pokemon Trainer. Nice!

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - I mean, theres one game where they actually function, and one game where they dont. The one where they function wins. I wont go into the individual Pokemon here compared to the high concept, but needless to say, thank you for fixing Ivysaur and making her fun to play as. Pokemon Trainer is a great high concept of a character, a three-in-one with playstyles befitting different stages of a match both offensively and defensively, trying to make the best decisions possible to defeat foes. And its done SO much better than either Zelda/Sheik or Pyra/Mythra, and I dont even think the latter does it badly! Pokemon Trainer takes the high concept and rolls with it incredibly well, to the point where people clamor for trainers from other regions to get the same treatment and get more Pokemon represented. Thats a successful design; if they sucked, we wouldnt have that! Each of the Pokemon fulfills their role very well, the ebb and flow of tossing different ones out is good, being able to change in the air is a godsend that allows the character to have actual options and flexibility.. yeah! Its just very nicely done! A

Inkling - Splatoon

Somehow Ive never gotten around to playing Splatoon 2. Im sure its good, but I just missed the boat on its launch and the drop of the Octo Expansion and had other stuff to pursue, and now the third games coming along. But in any case, consider this write-up to be praise of the simple act of movement in the Splatoon series. The ability to turn into a squid and make strategic retreats or blitzkreig approaches as long as you have territory control feels fantastic, getting you right back into a game after a respawn and making you feel like you have options and outs to the classic my opponent ganked me now Im dead feel. However, its one that you and your opponent are constantly giving and taking from, removing the defensive effectiveness of the technique the more you spray and pray around them until youre finally caught. The moment to moment gameplay of Splatoon is fabulous, shooting feeling utterly fantastic and mixing in with its movement system so perfectly and naturally that it takes standout shooters like Titanfall to match it in sheer mobility options. I dont think it translates nearly as well to single-player challenges, I find those pretty rote and simple when you could get some real Neon White/Mirrors Edge type stuff out of it instead of whatever Salmon Runs supposed to be. But man, what a great gameplay base.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - Inklings good. I find myself having surprisingly little to say about the character - they feel good to play, they function good, ink isnt presented in a way that combos with mobility so Im a bit disappointed but I understand the trade-off they were going for, they have a shield special which annoys me that every amateur Smash concept designer demands should be a universal mechanic for all characters. Inkling is just aggressively good as a character design but I think what gets me about them is that theres not a satisfying finisher for the character. Their Smash Attacks feel very incidental in the damage they deal, hitting someone in the face with a giant paintbrush lacking the impact of other kill moves. Their Up Air is a good kill, but lacks the impact or flourish of other fancy finishing strikes. I know its not impossible to mix the kind of streetwise finesse and satisfying kills together - Jokers in the game and does it well and Ive PLAYED as Eddy Gordo, I know how good it can feel - but Inkling just seems to seal stocks as a matter of course rather than as something they build up to. I know Im spending a lot of time griping about Inkling when my feel is generally positive, but all they do well just feels fairly obvious and yeah, its a good base for a Smash Bros character, it just never goes beyond good and that bugs me. B

Hammer Bro - Mario Superstar Baseball

Honestly both Strikers Charged and Superstar Baseball are amazing performances for Hammer Bro. Hammers undoubtedly the best sidekick in Charged, as his deke is slam a giant hammer down, giving him a solid dodge and great offensive presence. And his power shot is just concuss Kritter with hammers, which gives him a no skill required free goal if it lands. Hes just simple and easy! Superstar Baseball, Hammer Bro is designed to do one thing and one thing only: hit home runs. He shares a unique battling style with only Toadsworth and Donkey Kong, where almost the entirety of his bat is a sweet spot, but its much smaller than other bats, meaning that either hes gonna hit the ball deep, or hes gonna swing through, no questions. This is coupled with the fact that hes probably the third-best home run hitter in the game behind Bowser and Petey, and might actually be more consistent than Petey as he is far less likely to foul out or hit pop flies. This is complimented by his excellent chemistry tree, by which I mean he has chemistry with Bowser. Bowser is FAR too dangerous to pitch to most of the time, with the idea of walking him to 1st being much, MUCH safer than taking the risk of throwing him out. If Hammer Bro is directly after Bowser in the line-up, with the chemistry boost thats guaranteed from Bowser being on-base, you are now pitching to a second Bowser. He isnt QUITE as good as Bowsers ridiculously long bat, but letting someone draft Bowser-Bro-any other heavy gives them the most devastating home run core possible in the game, like, there is nothing else that can remotely compete. Even Hammer Bros variants are great, Boomerang Bro having a unique curved trajectory on his balls that makes them foul more often, but make it nearly impossible to rob with wall jump and gives the character a viable slap hit. Fire Bro lowers the trajectory of the ball in exchange for more power, turning him from a home run hitter into Pianta+. Fire Bro usually isnt worth trading out Hammer or Boomer, but the former two are constantly in contention with each other. In exchange for an unprecedented at-the-plate threat, Hammer Bro has absolutely zero defensive utility - hes your catcher if you didnt draft Petey, not because hes good there, but to hide him from having to play any position where his mediocre everything would cost a run. It says a lot how GOOD his batting is that hes still considered a top tier character in the game in spite of that. Hammer Bro does exactly one thing, it just happens to be the best thing in the game he could possibly specialize in.

Dr. Wily - Mega Mans Soccer

There is something absolutely delightful about Dr. Wily hating Mega Man so much, he.invents a robot suit specifically so that he can outperform military-grade combat robots at sports. Works a tad better for me than him getting really into racecars for playable appearances, at least, and the Wily Field theme is actually really great. I like Wily a whole lot as a character, sort of being a far more tame and sane alternative to Dr. Eggman - Wily is all ego searching for praise while Eggman actually wants to murder people and fulfill his funny theme park ambitions. This gets coupled with the old design the robot masters contest with Wily asking children for all over the world to help him foil Mega Man with diabolical designs. Its an oddly wholesome image that gets kids to think about game design in neat ways, I really like it. Wilys a pretty fabulous Assist Trophy in Smash, picking the MM7 Capsule for all of the suffering its caused was a brilliant move, and having him with the begging for mercy animation when you bust the pod is such a good touch that I cant help but love. The actual Assist Trophy functions really well, those energy balls havent gotten any less annoying to deal with and he doesnt completely warp a match around his presence like Tiki or someone. Just all-around good stuff from the good doctor.

Toon Link: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

I dont think Wind Waker actually has the best Zelda combat anymore, but it sure does sell its combat better than any other Zelda game. The way Link feels so lithe due to his small frame, the fluidity and motion of his jumping attacks, the sound effects every time he lands a blow creating a natural momentum to combat - when youre wailing on enemies, the game does everything in its power to make you feel like an expert swordsman. Item set is also really great in this game, the Deku Leaf being a fun multi-purpose tool that would go on to inspire the sailcloths insane versatility, Skull Hammer being a great visual upgrade from the oddly small Megaton from Ocarina, the Boomerang gains a lot of versatility and is just always fun to use in 3D Zelda, Sailing is a hit-or-miss process, but as someone who gets a rush of serotonin filling out the map so that the Walk Armor in SotN gets stronger, Im alright with the down time to get to cute objectives that are relatively fun up until the Triforce Hunt. Its not like Toon Link has much competition - the DS games are fine but wild and kinda clunky departures, Minish Cap is aggressively yeah this is fine, Triforce Heroes I just remembered existed - but Wind Wakers a fine template with really high highs that make controlling the character distinct from other incarnations.

Best Smash Appearance: Brawl - The more Link changes, the more Toon Link stays the same. I understand the point and purpose of Toon Link, hes a popular and distinct enough incarnation of the character and I appreciate that were not still calling him Cel-da and can instead make jokes about his ability to attack your opponents life points directly if they control no Toon monsters on their side of the field. But MAN does he feel redundant. There is a unique floatiness to Toon Link that sets him apart from his taller counterpart and makes him feel even less congruous with his debut game. Wind Waker Toon Link is a very in-your-face kind of character, constantly dodging and weaving. Smash Toon Link is a camper with odd set-ups that work sometimes. I do appreciate that later Smash games gave him more unique animations, but those are also kind of worse? Like hes now singular slashes instead of a lot of multi-slashes, taking him even further away from his initial design. Like, I cant think of many less satisfying to land finishers than Toon Links forward smash - it just kind of ends halfway through a full swing with no fanfare. But I could understand, with how much theyre evolving Link, if TL was here to preserve a legacy playstyle for the character but then Young Link exists and does that infinitely better. The feel of Melee Link is more accurately captured with Yink than ANYTHING is captured with Tink. And thats not to mention how pitiful his moveset really is when you consider all of the unique possibilities his own adventures and weapons offer him! Toon Link is a character who hasnt had a reason to exist since Brawl, and really does deserve better. He does have that victory animation where he tries to catch a pig, though. Thats cute. D-

Dixie Kong - Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddys Kong Quest

Look back to the Diddy write-up, as a lot of my thoughts on him also apply to Dixie. However, Dixie also has the advantage of being one of the most generous but fair player 2 characters in a platformer. Looking at contemporaries like Tails, a lot of the difficulty of platforming is removed with the addition of flight - you dont really have to interact with the hardest part of the stage youre on, you can just coast off and find the power-ups you need. Dixie is merely a buffer; you still have to actually beat the level, you still have to do the platforming, if you glide forward blindly, you will die. But she allows you to relax a bit, carefully guide your Kong to the right spot to jump off of an enemy, properly time a cycle for a disappearing platform, and once you know a stage, lets you skip large swaths of level youve already accomplished by gliding right over it. Shes also excellent in DKC3, and I love that shes grown past the need for Crankys approval unlike DK and Diddy, taking this vacation for herself and ascending to heaven for her accomplishments, but I like her as Diddys compliment more than I like her as Kiddys. Both of the DKC2 playable characters feel like equal partners, bringing strengths and weaknesses and complimenting each other. Dixie DEFINITELY feels like Kiddys babysitter in DKC3, which is very intentional but yknow, not as fun as sending the ghost of a man you killed to Hell with your boyfriend.

Mario Baseball Profile: Dixie Kong - Dixie is the 3rd best pitcher in the game, behind Boo and nearly tied with her boyfriend, Diddy. As there are only two teams playing each other in baseball and pitchers only get fatigued if you give up 7 runs with them, (which is possible and a valid strategy, but damn you gotta hit good to make it happen) you would think this means that Dixie gets chased out of the meta. But surprisingly, both Diddy and Dixie are just about equally relevant. Both Dixie and Diddy have chemistry with Donkey Kong and each other, with Diddys other chem partners being irrelevant. Diddy has a unique boomerang ball super, a pop fly that curves at an odd angle thats difficult for non-Yoshi fielders to catch and can net him a guaranteed single, but its worse than DKs that does a similar thing. Dixies super is irrelevant, but in exchange, she has a far more consistent singles bat. Dixie has slightly lower power and trajectory than Diddy, meaning that she hits the ball into No Mans Land territory with better contact, and with bad contact, hits dribblers that are less likely to double play than Diddys overall mediocre-at-best batting. This makes Diddy have a higher reward potential than Dixie, which tends to make him a better choice as an optimal Diddy will have a higher yield, but does not remove Dixie from the meta at all due to her better consistency. Plus she does her spin attack from DKC2 whenever she throws a charge pitch, and thats adorable.

Dillon - Dillons Rolling Western

Ive never been able to play Dillons series, is it particularly good? Ill admit that I do like Tower Defense style games, but the third-person perspective always has me wary. Im someone who gets nervous when they cant get to their units engaged in combat in time in a Dynasty Warriors game waaaay too much, so the behind-the-back perspective compared to the top-down is usually a death sentence for me. In any case, Dillon works well, he does what youd expect an armadillo to do, has a cool design, and represents a neat part of Nintendos more modern history thats getting obliterated from purchaseability fairly soon. So that part sucks but, yknow. Trade off.

Wario - Wario Land: Shake It!

I think there are two solid directions that you can take with Wario. First, you could be a fan of his playstyle up to Wario Land 3, very slow and methodical, very anti-Mario. Where Mario defeats enemies and gains momentum by stomping on their head, Wario takes every last one and uses them for all theyre worth, tossing them about, beating them up for extra money, just abusing the system as best he can. And, in return, the world HATES Wario, looking to bully him right back and give him as many silly and stupid status conditions as it can muster, making for methodical experiences that play out very much akin to slapstick comedy: Wario walks into a field of rakes until he catches a rake in his teeth and uses it to beat the other rakes to death. Of these, I really love Wario Land 2s dedication to secret exits based less on level design cues and more on contextual clues - sleeping through his own first level is a VERY Wario thing to do. However, I do prefer the athletic approach that went into his later games - 4, World, and Shake It, specifically. Here, Wario plays more toward his circus strongman athleticism, still getting beaten and battered by the world around him plenty, but having more traditional platforming levels with some beat em up and exploration elements mixed in. I do prefer this approach to the original Wario Land approach, but I see both as very valid interpretations of the character. Shake It, though, is where I think it starts getting really fun. Wario is an immaculately animated character, every little animation giving him just that extra bit of oomph in everything he does. The earthquake punch is an incredibly fun on-command move to both puzzle through various labyrinths with and smash everything in your path, and led to one of the most fun bits of Youtube interactivity with the collapsing video player. And most importantly, this game masters Wario Land 4s concept of running back through a level under a time limit. Wario often shoots out of cannons to start a charge back through a stage hes beaten, destroying everything in his path, ruining the level that he just spent so much time combing through in one final mad dash to get away with his loot. It is a delightfully rude and disrespectful time that gives Wario fantastic setpiece moments to compliment his funny moment-to-moment gameplay. And I only wish the series continued from here - what a great direction to go in, a shame it didnt sell too well. Ah well, WarioWares fun.

Mario Baseball Profile: Wario - In Mario Superstar Baseball, Warios a weird character. His special is the Liar Ball, which sends a pop fly to the outfield. However, the ball splits into two right before impact with the ground - catch the regular ball and Warios out, catch his decoy garlic, and Wario gets a guaranteed double at minimum. Wait to be safe and Wario is gonna get to first base no matter what. Its a 50/50 that gets completely suppressed by Yoshi, whose tongue catch can be used on reaction from the center of the two ball split to always catch and get Wario out. Its a weird hail mary play that will at least always score a runner off of third on a sacrifice fly but thats what Warios built for anyway. Wario is a power hitter who can just baaarely hit Home Runs, probably being the weakest character who can be thought of to often knock it out of the park. This used to be a great detriment to him, and put him in direct competition with Pianta, another large-bodied character who just barely had enough power to knock it out of the park who also plays Warios preferred position, 2nd Base. A fierce debate raged over who was the better 2nd Baseman - Wario has an ability called Sliding Catch that lets him accelerate into dives, giving him fantastic range to catch grounders and fly balls, but Pianta has a naturally big body that doesnt make him THAT much worse than Wario, and has the Laser Beam ability that turbos the ball to home plate to tag a runner out at home. Ultimately, Pianta won the war with Wario, and Bad Mario was temporarily considered to be a worse character than Daisy, who was rising in the meta until Waluigi came into prominence as a 1st Baseman, giving him even more consistency for throwing runners out at first with his chem partner, and making up for his weakness just by Waluigi being there - Waluigi ALSO has laser beam, after all. Additionally, Wario had chemistry with Boo, who sees EVERY game as an undisputed Top 6 character and the best pitcher, giving Wario two chemistry partners to turn his home run chances from possible to likely if both are on-base. Wario is now a character who should see every game and opens up teambuilding possibilities via his presence, and is no longer merely a defensive presence due to Waluigi shifting around him.

Best Smash Appearance: Brawl - I had such high hopes for Wario. Hes such a fun character, exaggerating all the worst aspects of Mario and putting them into the forefront, a gross reflection of machismo taken to its most self-indulgent. I do not think there is another Smash Bros character whose portrayal has hurt them as much as Wario. Olimar & Alph people dont know have personalities, thats pretty rough. Byleth didnt get anything from their game and was essentially a response to trends rather than a character, thats no fun. Wario? Wario had years of established character, and all of it got hyper focused into making him zany, jerky, and random, and boiled his personality down to the farting man. It cannot be stated how much the Wario Waft has overtaken Warios general perception - hes gross and liked the smell of his own gas before, but so much of Wario revolved around this one feature that he was passed over in NSMBWii as wed have to add a farting mechanic for Wario. Wario ceases to be a bully, a strongman, a greedy idiot who will break his body in whatever way to get a quick buck - hes just lost his mind. Every animation from a character known for goofy cartoon animations becomes a jerky mess that seems to be missing frames whenever he moves. Hell, the guy couldnt even keep his Shoulder Bash, his signature attack, for all three games he appears in, losing it in Smash 4 for uh some reason, I guess. It is an absolute shame, there are great things about Wario. Brawl committed to his animation style a bit harder than the other games and it looks not great, but it commits to the look well. Hes got a bunch of moves that mirror Mario but have more exaggerated elements to make him look like a Mario tryhard. Hes got some of the best body breaking in the game with his enlarging fists and head on attacks that put a ton of emphasis on everything. Bike and Chomp are legitimately super fun moves. Wario-Man used to be the most fun Final Smash in the game before the universal FS changes in Ultimate ruined it. I do not hate the pieces of Warios kit - if you gave it to someone who isnt Wario, Id say its pretty good, even. Could use some work, but might be a solid B. But man I wanted to play Wario so badly. And I still do. Because this isnt Wario, and its hurt my ability to experience the guy in other games by what its done to him. This is more personal than other ones, but F

Alph - Pikmin 3

I have never played Pikmin 3. However, I assume that it is a video game that is enjoyable, as I played both Pikmin 1 and Pikmin 2 and both of those were enjoyable. I also assume Alph has some semblance of character. I am even led to believe that the multi captain set-up of Pikmin 3 allows for clever strategic decision making and care of your Pikmin as you delegate tasks. These things would, with absolute certainty, make Pikmin 3 his best playable appearance.

Best Smash Appearance: None - Alph (and by extension, Olimar) are, by far, my least favorite designs in all of Smash Bros. Not only do I find their implementation bad, not only do I find them frustrating to fight and relatively unfun to play compared to others in their archetype, not only do I find that they betray their personalities, but I think their appearance in Smash has actively damaged the perception and reputation of the Pikmin series. The main conceit of Pikmin is the weight of responsibility - you have to escape a planet or plunder its resources so that you (or you entire colony or planet) dont die/become bankrupt. To do this, you must organize the native Pikmin, glad to follow you, to perform tasks together that they could never accomplish individually. With time, they grow stronger, evolve to grow more capable, can do more tasks, can be delegated to do multiple tasks, and any time that you recklessly toss them at an enemy, it is a disaster. Pikmin need to be ordered around strategically, carefully, and utilize their individual strengths together in order to overcome tasks, or else the crushing weight of dozens of dead Pikmin will haunt Olimar AND have the gameplay repercussion of needing to rebuild your army, something that is a toll on the player in later games and actively wastes a resource that is in short supply in the first.

The Pikmin captains fail spectacularly to convey any of this within Smash Bros. While Pikmin do still flower and bloom, this is such a forgotten mechanic that its basically treated as an easter egg, Pikmin are the most disposable minions possible in Smash, more than Advance Wars soldiers, even more than Luma. They are pitiful projectiles that are made to be distractions to get some extra chip damage, then slain. They are extended hitboxes sent out to die. There is no rhyme or reason for Olimars attacks; there is an optimal Alph playstyle out there, he will be played in that style, and whatever Pikmin you happen to pluck are tools to service that playstyle. The strategic elements of Pikmin - the stage control that they could very easily provide, Hell, that Snake can do with one button and zero thought - are entirely eliminated, the strategic elements have been greatly simplified with the Pikmins numerical reduction since Brawl (which, to be fair, the strategy was have six), there is no weight to a lost Pikmin as plucking one takes no time, and I have never met a single person who has been happy fighting Alph or Olimar. These are unfun characters who rely on basic, uninteresting puppets with basic set-ups that have no strong hook to allure new players, and also lack the depth of other characters with similar mechanics. Alph is perhaps one of the most shafted characters in all of Smash, joining as an alternate skin to a character who had, for the past decade, been best represented by watching Captain Falcon kill all his friends and being okay with it because he was losing against that Giant ROB anyway. Alph was not just dead on arrival, he was rotting. Gut it, burn it, leave nothing, and remake it anew. F

I think my issues with Byleth come from the fact that Robin was a LOT more organic of a way of doing it. Robin had the benefit of their game actually being out during Smash 4's development, he had years of figuring out what to do with him. I don't entirely love Robin, but I think it's a more fulfilling way of handling what was then a trend with Fire Emblem rather than a massive, budding problem, Byleth just has better unga bunga buttons that are more satisfying, and I'll freely admit those are important, but I'd rather have the pieces of Byleth put on complete movesets than the weird mishmash of a character we ended up with. I do think, if they trim FE down (and they should), Marth/Ike/Robin is a solid core, you can rotate out another classic lord to fulfill Roy/Chrom/Lucina's function (or just pick one, all three do that moveset fine), and then give the new FE character some of what Byleth's got, but hyper-focus on one weapon. I like Amir and Blaiddyd a lot more than I like Byleth.

Will throw out more perhaps later tonight or tomorrow morning, busy night of pretending I'm an authority on Donkey Kong lore and scriptwriting ahead, really glad to see my disdain for Corrin isn't entirely unfounded on "ew gross game with rapidly fluxuating gameplay quality".

KamikazePotato posted...

Also, not to step on your toes, but I'd be interested in providing writeups for a few of the characters you said you don't feel comfortable rating (Shulk, Corrin, and Steve specifically)

Yeah that's no problem! I did already do Steve for the sake of it, but if you'd like, by all means. I just know I'm not an authority to say how well Shulk reps the Monado Arts, and Corrin I am steeped in a large amount of negativity toward Fates that I'd never be able to write something readable.

LeonhartFour posted...

I'd be fine with turning this into a Mario Baseball rating topic

I mean, if you nominate a MSB character, I'll assume you want it. If I've already rated them, just put (MSB) next to their name and I'll go ahead. Note that my experience is mostly only Baseball, though - I don't know the Sluggers meta nearly as well. Mostly because I don't think it's as good.

Andross - Unplayable

To my knowledge, theres not a playable appearance of Andross. Which, I mean, makes sense - hes a giant floating head, youd be kind of limited in what you can do. I think this is a really solid choice for an Assist Trophy, though! Centering around Andross original creepy face appearance both lets him avoid overlap with the hands and gets to rep the big technical innovations Star Fox brought to the forefront. Itd be hard to translate the guy into Smash without having him step all over the territory already occupied by Master Hand, so I actually think this is the best spot for the character! His actual implementation is just fine, but I wouldnt really want more out of him. His best all-time appearance is Star Fox Adventures, though. What an incredibly dumb and forced twist that, while mirroring a character in the original Dinosaur Planet with the false god schtick, ends up as the most hilarious possible consequence of shoving the Star Fox cast in as protagonists. Its the absolute most cornball crap, and its pretty fabulous in retrospect.

R.O.B. - Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

ROB is another one of those concept over reference characters that I really love. Hes an incredibly limited design by nature, and feels like a child looked at him and went what could I imagine my cool robot toy doing? So of course he has laser eyes, his little platform is a jet booster, his arms spin around at insane speeds - its looking at a mundane object and getting the absolute most you can out of it. It feels like a moveset an uncreative Youtuber would make looking around, like this is how I would make a moveset for if the N64 Controller was playable in Smash, but it somehow actually made it into the game. And I am really rather fond of it! Smash is great at giving life to characters who otherwise wouldnt have it, and thats incredibly literal in the case of ROB. He does suffer from his Final Smash always having been uncreative and kind of crap - like come on guys you invented a whole story mode for him to give him material to work with and all you have is laser eyes or laser ass? PIRANHA PLANT gets a Subspace reference as his FS and ROB is just here? - but ROB fills a really unique niche among the roster that suits him quite well. And Im shocked that Smash keeps letting him reference Subspace as his defining character trait - no matter what happens, this is the last survivor of a dying race who failed to save his people. Hes got a real cheap down tilt! Neat! Im glad to have him, hes a weird pick with weird design philosophies in both background and implementation that makes him feel unique. I would maybe like to see him with more NES accessories or something, but thats more a nitpick and nostalgia trip from my end than any actual criticism. A-

Best Non-Smash Appearance: Mario Kart DS - Its zany that this even happened. ROB was an absolute non-entity at this time, a toy 20 years out of print that didnt even have a solid connection to the Mario universe, and they just tossed him in as a legacy character. Mario Kart DS isnt my favorite Mario Kart design-wise (though its tracks are almost universally fire, what a great set of 16 new courses outside of the usual generics and, like, Yoshi Falls), but its got a lot of personality and gumption. Like, giving Dry Bones a tiny tank? Hilarious. Giving Donkey Kong a Rambi kart? I wish theyd let him unclench his teeth, but thats awesome. Giving ROB giant unicycle legs? Thats just hilarious and I love it.

Zero - Mega Man X4

Ill note that I have not gone through the Mega Man Zero series, but I doubt they would change my opinion too greatly, because holy crap X4 Zero is one of the best controlling 2D platformer characters out there. Sure, he starts a bit limited, but the instant you get the Kuuenbu? Oh, the entire game becomes a matter of just how much you can destroy it. Zero carves through levels like no ones business, tearing through enemies with an almost effortless appeal. Its a sensation not entirely unlike the Metal Blades, but unlike that weapon, Zero is constantly evolving to be even MORE powerful. His techniques still require a level of execution, there IS a best tool for the job in almost every situation, you CAN still die, that fight against General IS miserable. But every single tool gives you a new way to shred through levels in a beautiful power fantasy. It combines the fundamentals of Mega Man, fighting games, and Strider, loading all of them into a single character who is truly a treat to play as at all times. Plus he teaches you to DP timing good when you fight against Reaper Sigma, thats also a plus. It is honestly a shame that hes not playable in Smash - thank god hes an assist trophy, but man, he and Alucard are just outright incredibly-controlling characters looking in at a game that could dominate if tossed in. I mean, Zero is high tier in every single fighting game hes appeared in, so hed HAVE to be great in Smash, right? They couldnt possibly screw him up!

Whispy Woods - Kirbys Avalanche

I think thats the only game Whispy is playable in to any extent? Im not fact checking, but there ya go. I think I prefer Whispys role in the Kirby series becoming more referential - hes often regulated to a first world mini-boss, or a background element that ends up helping Kirby in some way by beating him up, and I like that look for him. Its not like hes provided an actual threat for years, even in his Parallel and Tropic Woods variants! Still, Id be really sad if I ever had to stop seeing him, hes such a nice calming presence. Actually, bring back more Kirby pinball games, the guy was a great boss in Pinball Land! In Smash, I like Whispy fine - he does the blowy tree thing and its a fairly unobtrusive obstacle. Plus the wind is the most fickle natural element in real life, it being against you is just par for the course. I think I prefer his Green Greens appearance over his Dream Land 64 appearance, the apples are actually really fun projectiles. I do wish he made the sound that he makes when he shakes out apples in Kirby 64, though. Its a really satisfying BRWWWAAAHHHH like low, resonant percussion that would tell when the apples are coming more satisfyingly. And also I wish there was a way to make him cry. I want to bully the tree more, its his lifes purpose.

Krystal - Dinosaur Planet

That unfinished Dinosaur Planet ROM leaking last year was one of the coolest little discoveries. Seeing Star Fox Adventures fleshed out in a different way was really nice, and most importantly, Krystal doesnt get trapped inside of a Crash Bandicoot collectible for 90% of the game. I really like the classic design of Krystal, teaming with pterodactyl princess, Kite, to solve puzzles and do basic Zelda combat. Shes a cute, fun character that plays just different enough from Saber/Fox in just enough ways to have her own sense of identity, and that is really enough to put it above her ten minutes of Adventures playability and being the worst character in Assault multiplayer. Plus Dinosaur Planet had a bunch of weird time travel stuff in its leaked story pitch, thats wild. I do love the ending of Command where Krystal gets with Panther and renames herself Kursed because she felt so snakebitten by Fox, though; thats some great stuff. Krystal isnt a character Im clamoring for to get a Smash invite, but shes a character who would make sense to be added and would have a fun enough moveset. Her Assist Trophy is fine, kinda forgettable in the grand scheme of things, but Im not disappointed at all to have her around. Shes just there at the moment, and Id hope for more.

Guile - Street Fighter II

Hold down and back. Its so simple, its so universal, its the building block on which fighting game interactions were founded. I know there are more fun versions of Guile out there - Marvel 2 or whichever one gives him the double flash kick is super good, IV 3D gave him sonic boom on a button which made him disgusting, I really like how he looks in SF6 - but theres something that I truly admire about the original design. Its so unabashed in what it wants to accomplish, a 50/50 of reads where you pressure your opponent until theyre so scared of a flash kick that you just walk up, grab, and absolutely destroy them. Guile is infuriating in a special kind of way, one thats more fair than someone like Vega or Dhalsim, but maddening all the same. And it feels good, being a turtle, that everyone HAS to approach and crack their fists on the shell of. It feels good shattering patience. It feels even better shattering the turtles stupid shell. Guile trading all of his utility for being the hold down and back joke is one of the funniest damn things in all of Smash Bros, though. Like, I dont care that hes not a great Assist Trophy. Thats just beautiful execution, 10/10, chefs kiss.

SSBM_Guy posted...

Zelda

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/80133166/967400789

Pikachu - Pokemon Yellow

https://youtu.be/_sBDoOwPdsk

Have said my thoughts on Pikachu in the past, but I really love how hes built up in the original games. Pikachu is either a rare encounter that your friends are far less likely to have in the early game, so hes gonna be your special little man, or hes your starter. And he absolutely SUCKS against Brock, the gym leader that youre probably gonna need the most help with. It wouldnt be surprising if a lot of players abandoned Pikachu then and there but especially in Yellow, you cant abandon your starter, can you? Thats the whole reason you picked up the game! So, you stick with him, and Pikachu proves to break the mold of starters everywhere as the game progresses. Usually, your starter is a Pokemon that can very well carry you through the game on its own, something easy to overlevel and throw out against anything to stomp any and all challenges. Pikachu aint built to do that - hes got paper thin defenses, pathetic HP, and really poor type coverage. Instead, Pikachu is loaded with all sorts of support moves - Light Screen, Thunder Wave, Double Team. The best use of your starter is as a support mon to set up your real heavy hitters to take down wounded foes with ease. Pikachu does an amazing job as the poster boy for better team composition in Pokemon, of actually using your party as a cohesive unit to take down any enemy. Its a shame MOST Yellow teams are gonna end up as Pikachu/Primeape or Nidoking/Charizard/Blastoise/Venusaur/Bird due to how the game is structured and, yknow, Ash + Needing Something To Beat Brock With, but Pika more than does his work in this game.

Best Smash Appearance: 64 - Look, I just like Pikachus sound design in 64. The way that the shocks sound are so punchy and painful, and its just funny how damn good his stanky leg nair is. Pikachu might be the most aggressively fine character in the whole Smash series. He does the Pikachu things, he electrocutes you good, he uses his physiology well, its sometimes annoying when he pancakes but is also sort of charming, Thunder is a fun move to spam when youre new to the game. Every base is always checked with Pikachu, every avenue explored of how to use his body in an interesting way for a moveset. He lacks any sort of attitude or uniqueness that hed show in either of his playable forms in Pokken, but if you want to represent Pikachu, the Pokemon Mascot, this is the most by-the-numbers but ultimately fine and fun way of doing so. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Pikachu. Hes cute, hes fun, hes unremarkable. B+

swirIdude posted...

I'm starting to think that you're actually me.

Don't worry, eventually I'll say something that'll definitely make you go "oh, thank god he's not me".

Shadow the Hedgehog - Sonic Adventure 2

Poor Shadow really gets the short end of the stick, huh? Most of the games he appears in, hes absolutely fine, but gets saddled with the most horrendously-controlling vehicles that make performing even the most basic of tasks agonizing. In both Shadow and 06, it is far more fun to figure out how to blow up your vehicle on basic level geometry than it is actually playing the game (which, to be fair, is most of Sonic 06 and how its accidentally a fun game). Sonic Adventure 2 at least gives him four good stages and one of the only challenging bosses in the game. Im not sure if Id call the Biolizard GOOD, but it actually designs around the character, so thats a nice change of pace from most of the bosses! Sky Rail and Final Chase have some growing pains actually learning how their mechanics work, but once you get there, theyre some of the most fun and fulfilling speed stages in the game. Sadly, Shadow does lack the Bounce Bracelet that makes Sonic stupidly fun to just move around with, but well hes got solid stages and the feel of his skating around is nice, and its not like any of his other appearances are exceptionally inspiring. Like, Heroes is okay? I guess? Anyway, Shadows a good Assist Trophy, kind of redundant with Skull Kid, but hes a lot more thematically appropriate with Chaos Control and is less random, thus being more fulfilling to pull out. Still weird he was never an Echo Fighter, thats a concept that was MADE for him and NOTHING was done. And its not like they care about properly repping echo fighters, Dark Samus exists, so Shadow being a non-factor is just weird.

Lucario - Pokken Tournament

Lucarios a weird Pokemon to me. Hes got a great design, a great typing that barely makes sense for that design but sure whatever, a great movepool, and is just kind of boring. He hits things good, he both ungas and bungas, and sometimes he gets outclassed by other mons who are unga bunga specialists instead of Lucarios unga bunga super generalist. I like it when my Pokemon are either flawed but fun or hilariously overpowered, and Lucario doesnt really fall into either of those niches unless he goes Mega, which man, like its a good Mega, but its a big ask to sacrifice a Mega slot that could go to Mewtwo or Kangaskhan or something even more degenerate than Lucario. Pokken, however, gives Lucario some real nice personality in his fighting style. I love the bone rush energy staff, its such a strong unifying design element that brings together a lot of the Pokemons skill and martial abilities in a very distinct way. Theres a weight to Lucarios techniques and just the right amount of force and hitlag on its kicks that sells its impact in a way the RPGs just couldnt, and THATS how you do a lithe fighting type with tremendous power! Its generalist skillset is represented really well here, makes me care for a Pokemon who was very much just there, but nice movie for me before.

Best Smash Appearance: Smash 4 - Aura stacking with Rage really was the best thing that couldve possibly happened for Lucario. I do not mind comeback mechanics on principle - I think that One Winged form and Go!! are great, for instance - but Lucarios entire kit is based off of coming back when the chips are down. And when Lucario is fresh man, Lucario sucks to play as. Im not sure what Im supposed to be feeling when I play Lucario, theyre a really floaty and high-jumping close combat character with weirdly bad air and ground speed. A lot of its moves feel oddly passive, but lack the force of a kind of one-inch punch combatant. I understand the sort of meditative martial artist vibe theyre attempting to give off with Lucario, but he lacks any sort of impact until Force Palm gets juiced by aura, and lacks the personality of honestly, most of the rest of the cast. Im never a huge fan of how the non-Pichu and Incineroar Pokemon express themselves, theyre all pretty standard and stock personalities, but Lucario dips down with Greninja as I mean hes there doing the martial arts/ninja thing I guess? Only instead of doing the speedy ninja moveset well, Lucarios here being a weirdly floaty character who doesnt get to play the game until hes already losing. I just do not like this portrayal of Lucario at all, and think it cooled him pretty substantially considering how white-hot he was at the time of Brawls release. D-

Simon Belmont - Castlevania

Castlevania is one of the NES games that holds up the absolute best. Level design is so perfectly considered for Simons abilities, the number power-ups rewarding you for getting better at a level feels so nice (as you will very likely be replaying these levels again and again), and while youre an insanely stiff character, youre never asked to do anything thats horribly out-of-cycle other than dealing with fleamen, and even those can be baited with very careful movement. Its amazing just how good a game made in 1986 can still be, with absolutely no caveats or needing to point out how good later entries in the series were. Rondo is the only game that I think even comes close to challenging the simple perfection Castlevania achieved; its an hour-long romp through Draculas Castle thats a solid thrill the entire time through with no um the Wily Castle or this level with the wind mechanic in sight. As much as I enjoy seeing other characters of the era evolve, Simon is always one that Ill prefer stick to his original incarnation.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - The Belmonts are weird ducks in Smash Ultimate. They borrow a ton from each other to make one solid, composite character, by which I mean Richter is gutted and nerfed to Hell so that he wont be busted in a Smash game, and Simon benefits from it. I actually think this puts Simon in a MUCH better place than Richter - he really had nowhere to go but up, and damn, THANK you Smash for FINALLY giving Simon a good picture. I dont hate bishe redhead Simon, but the Conan-inspired original is such a breath of fresh air amongst the Castlevania cast that its great to see him properly represented. Simon doesnt entirely play like himself, but I dont think this hurts his design in the same way that it hurts Mega Man - Simon was already reinvented for Super Castlevania IV, and borrowing so much from Richter guaranteed that he wouldnt perfectly emulate his NES counterpart. And for the most part, Simon feels pretty damn good! There is a weight to his attacks that really sells the power of his tools in a way that the games themselves dont. When that axe hits, DAMN does it feel meaty, and the addition of the classic Castlevania sound effects to his whip strikes makes the hitstun from them stand out all the more. Simon does not feel like an homage so much as he feels like a modernization of the classic character, giving him the Pit treatment and giving him some BEEF and gravity to really sell him. I dont think that sort of solid strike philosophy works half as well for Richter, but for Simon? Yeah, I like this version of Simon. A-

Paratroopa - Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Okay, the Koopas in Double Dash? Actually really fun picks for any kart composition. Lightweights are naturally the most valuable partners in DD because they dont restrict you to any specific kart weight class on their own, meaning that youll ideally want to team with a lightweight or draft a lightweight as your first character so youre not locked into something youd regret. The Koopas, though, have an advantage with their special item being part of the common item class, allowing them to access triple shells more easily at higher placements. Of lightweights, this is a trait their specials share only with Diddy Kong and Bowser Jr. And considering the unpredictability of the Bowser Shell and the purely defensive nature of the Giant Banana, this makes Paratroopa the premiere splashable offensive choice, making him an ideal partner for pretty much anyone on the cast outside of Yoshi and Birdo, whose Egg special is also common and purely offensive, thus partnering best with Diddy. Plus Triple Shells are just a fun item, always have been, make you feel ridiculously powerful. In Superstar Baseball, Paratroopa has fallen out of the meta - he used to be an exceptional third baseman with a great line drive and backup pitching potential, but with the rise of Waluigi and Luigi on first, his position is almost always taken by King Boo or Magikoopa. Hes a fine, splashable pick, but hes no longer someone you go out of your way to recruit; somethings likely gone wrong with your team comp or you invested too heavily in Bowser if you draft Paratroopa. In Smash its funny when he comes out of crates in Melee.

Knuckle Joe - Kirby Star Allies

Fighter has always been a fun ability. Rising Break is a satisfying attack slash mobility tool that always feels surprisingly safe until you realize you whiffed the shoryu and get punished immediately, and basing the attacks on the strength of button presses is a great homage to the fighting games that Super Star took inspiration from. But Return To Dreamland added the hadouken into the mix AND gave it the 236 command input for an insta-charge version, that carried over to Star Allies, and sorry Super Star, you aint topping that. Knuckle Joe is similarly fun and flexible, and the Fighter moveset surprisingly doesnt overlap with any Dream Friends, letting him feel original and fun even after all the DLCs rolled out. In Smash I think hes a weird Assist Trophy pull. Like, there are so many fighting game franchises, and even in his debut, he doubled up with Little Mac in providing the same function. Even among Super Star reps, Kracko, Dyna Blade, Computer Virus, TAC - there are a lot of possibilities here that arent entirely defined by being a combo-based fighting game character. Im not upset that Knuckle Joe is here, by any means. Im just a bit confused why he isnt Chun-Li or Magolor.

I think what gets me about Kid Icarus is how unfriendly it is in general. Pit's got a weird slide to him, the first level has so many chokepoints where you're squeezed in between a reaper and a hard place. If it came out one year later with vertical scrolling ala Doki Doki Panic, or even Metroid, I think it'd be a much stronger game. Metroid at least lets you get your foot in the door before it kicks your ass with obtuse maps; KI requires a huge up-front investment of time learning the basic mechanics and feel before you can get an even adequate run in that I think puts it in that Simon's Quest pool of "... oh THAT'S how I'm supposed to be playing it". Not quite as dull as that, of course, Icarus has the decency to always be action-focused, but in a similar vein of "oh this is how the game is actually supposed to be fun".

Nintendog - Nintendogs

Im sure this was very, very good for those who really wanted a pet, but could not afford to or otherwise were unable to provide for one. Its great that a game like this exists. But this came after Chao Garden, and I would rather feed peacocks to larval water gods to make them race in the crab pool than drag my dog away from trash. Its a simple and good feedback loop that hit the mobile game feel a few years before mobile games became a thing. Actually, why isnt there a Nintendogs mobile? That seems like a pretty sure bet, a lot more than Dr. Mario World was! In any case, of the screen obscuring Assist Trophies, I like Nintendog less than Mr. Resetti but more than Nightmare, having CUTE DOGGY is a bit more interesting than pure darkness. I think the Labrador Retriever variant was the most successful, its just got those universally adorable puppy eyes, but the french bulldog and toy poodle are definitely cute as well. Find it weird that we only get one breed per game, though - would be a lot more novelty to it if there were multiple cute puppies to see!

Klaptrap - Diddy Kong Pilot

https://youtu.be/5DqQoc3_RMo

Consider the 2003 Diddy Kong Pilot Beta voice clips the entire write-up. To my knowledge, this is the only playable appearance of Klaptrap outside of Donkey Kong 64s Beaver Bother mini-game, and I have had root canals I would rate higher than that mini-game. But damn, theres something mystifying about hearing DK64 Donkey Kong say something close to full sentences, along with whatever demon Dixie Kong is absorbing to have that voice, country Krunch from Diddy Kong Racing, and K. Rool very clearly being a slightly more nasally Wizpig. Klaptrap has the max acceleration lowest speed build, so hes bad, and he has the least fun voice out of Team Krem, but even mediocrity from a game that was completely scrubbed of all DK influence and turned into a Banjo game (except Expresso the Ostrich, who made it in somehow as an obstacle) is better than Beaver Bother, In Smash, Klaptrap says ow when you hit him. I cannot tell you how much that means to me. Absolutely brilliant, instantly puts him in the top half of Assist Trophies.

The Koopalongs - Mario Kart 8

Man, the shine on the Koopalings has fallen off, hasnt it? I remember the mid-2000s days where theyd been away for a few generations, fans clamoring for them back and then they were back and it was quickly realizing nah its ok, like theyre fine but we dont need them THAT often! Insofar as their actual boss appearances go, I think that Color Splash, surprisingly, gets the most out of the Koopalings. Each one has a nice and distinctive personality, along with some actual combat gimmick that requires a modicum of thought before you reach the point of use this specific card or else you physically cant win thanks. I feel like the novelty of having all of them in Mario Kart 8 was really cool, just a neat moment of OH MAN SEVEN NEW CHARACTERS, and you cant really put the toothpaste back in the tube now that youve done it. They had their cool moment in 2014 and now theyre here. Neat.

Quick ranking of all of them:

1. Lemmy (Clearly the best, circus motif, tiny, just a fun lil guy)
2. Morton (When you beat him in Color Splash, he yells MORTON? MORE LIKE LESSTON with his dying breath. Star-making performance dissing yourself to the grave)
3. Ludwig (Obviously at least Top 3 in any list. Has the style, the oh? he gives has more personality than 80% of non-RPG Mario characters)
4. Wendy (Solely for this battle theme, https://youtu.be/-qcYLPKZHjM )
5. Iggy (Actually a pretty neat redesign to differentiate him from Lemmy, the Chain Chomp boss fights he tends to get thrown into are neat)
6. Larry (Nice Jojo reference, loser)
7. Roy (I dont dislike Roy. But he is entirely cool sunglasses to me and getting you the first time with his Mario 3 earthquake hops)

Kamek - Tetris Attack

HOCUS. POCUS. I dont know why I latched onto Kamek when I was, like, 13 as an underrepresented Yoshi/Mario series character who deserved the spotlight, but here we are. Honestly, none of Kameks appearances are really that exemplary when hes playable - hes got the same kinda schtick as Rosalina in Tennis Aces but was DLC so he lacks the impact, for some reason is a money making fiend in Kart Tour, was only playable in Mario Party 9, and wasnt in the baseball games in favor of generic Magikoopas, who are actually pretty awesome in Superstar Baseball to no ones surprise. Being playable in an all-time great like Tetris Attack just shoots you up considerably, I suppose, though TA is my least favorite skin of Panel de Pon. I think that Kamek has great utility as a boss, however - giving him the easy Rita Ripulsa make my monster grow schtick honestly creates a ton of really fun scenarios, as seen through all the various imaginative Yoshis Island bosses. Plus I just like all the little weird things he does through the series, from summoning Bahamut in Mario RPG to playing a worn-down caretaker in both Partners in Time and Origami King to occasionally ruining Sticker Star and Color Splash to be nearly unplayable at times with his appearances. Kamek is a weird wild card of a character, and I think that flexibility is something missing from a majority of Mario enemies, even mainstays like Bowser Jr! Hes not great or anything but man would it have killed them to make him a boss in Ultimate? Just have him grow a bunch of minions from Smash Run to super sizes, and have him end it with Giga Bowser - woulda made that fight a Hell of a lot more interesting.

Pit - Kid Icarus: Uprising

Is it controversial at all to say the Kid Icarus games sucked before Uprising? Not even in a good for their time sense, either, just outright sucked. Long, vertical stages where half of the difficulty is that you drag the death plane up with you and can screw yourself by jumping to the wrong platforms, obtuse shopping and bonus mechanics that are neat when you understand them, but even Zelda 1 would call them wildly ambitious. Extensive labyrinths with constant trips back to the in-labyrinth hospital whenever you get turned into produce. When it turns into Gradius its pretty fun, but I have to play the whole game to get there. And Of Myths and Monsters was just that but slightly better, but with a smaller screen.

And then Uprising is the best game to ever cause me physical pain, and I hold Ring Fit Adventure in pretty high regard (its an RPG where your own physical fitness is your MP Bar, thats really clever!). While creating hand cramps way too easily, the Uprising control scheme is super intuitive, figuring out that proper balance between being able to aim and being able to dodge, allowing trickier patterns to be executed for both. Land battles are a tad less inspiring, merely being okay at a base, but the customization and flexibility given by the sheer number of powers and weapons makes changing up your gameplay style a breeze. It promotes both sticking with one weapon thats your tried and true favorite and switching things up constantly, leading to a wonderful sense of experimentation that stays juuuust fresh and varied enough to last through the entire game. And how they reinvented Pit? Oh, the kids an absolute delight. Unshakable optimism with just enough genre savviness to not fall into the simplest and dumbest writing pitfalls of his archetype, Pit knows hes an idiot, but fully believes hes on the right side and follows his moral compass undaunted by anything. Its a refreshing level of awareness for a protagonist, and lets him bounce off of the rest of the cast incredibly well. Absolutely fantastic revival of the character, what a turnaround from his humble beginnings.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - Pits fine. He actually has some fantastic animations, the way his little arm-rings turn into his arrows of light are stupidly smooth for just having a few frames to sell the animation, and the way his blades and bow combine and separate into various moves is certainly a feat that no one will appreciate the team pulling off. And while his Smash 4 appearance is definitely greatly improved from HI-YI-YI-YAAH in Brawl it feels a bit limited? Pit gets the chance to fully remix his moveset with maybe the largest weapon arsenal available to a protag save for Link and Snake, and he settles for a shield to replace his shield and an uppercut that deflects projectiles from a magic ring that deflects projectiles. Hes not bad in any way, its just very clear a ton of work was done on his Brawl shell and the team didnt want to replace TOO much of what was there. But man, the POTENTIAL for a Pit moveset that isnt just multi-hits that only sometimes link into each other is tremendous. And like Dark Pit is right there. You can keep him as the legacy Pit just fine and make the main one experiment with all of the potential avenues he has to pursue. Arrows of Light are a surprisingly fun to control projectile (really good timing from when youre guiding them to when you regain control of Pit), but thats really all that stands out about Pit. And he could be so, so much more. Palutenas Guidance is fabulous, though, keep that going as long as possible. D+

Isaac - Golden Sun

This is gonna be more of an apology from me than anything. For years, I have thought very little of Golden Sun. Ive always viewed it as a generic little RPG with cute little 3D model sprites that harkened back to PS1-style RPGs and let the novelty of that style of game being replicated on a handheld carry it. I have always viewed it as an inferior game to Mario Golf: Advance Tour for the award of Best GBA Camelot RPG, and the idea of essentially selling Disc 2 as a separate game has always appalled me. So Isaac not getting into Smash was never something that bothered me, and honestly amused me at the time. But Im realizing thats really dumb behavior, so Id more like to ask; whats the appeal of Golden Sun? It still hold up? Because these days, I could use shorter-form RPGs, theyre neat. Anyway, Isaac in Smash is neat, way better of a push you around guy than Kyogre or whatever other Pokemon just shove you to death, theres at least some level of counterplay and creativity to Isaac. Weird that he doesnt have a move where he just mimics Master Hand, though; if youre gonna be the hands, might as well go all the way.

Pac-Man - Pac-Man Championship Edition DX

Look, I could talk about how Ms. Pac-Man is better because it was at the pizza place I grew up at and the higher speed made going back to the regular Pac-Man unplayable. I could talk about how Pac-Man World 2 is a decent 3D platformer that, at the very least, deserves to be remembered more fondly than stuff like Ty the Tasmanian Tiger or Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg (those games are fine, Pac-Man World 2 is actually good). I could talk about how Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures is a nightmarish combination of Putt-Putt Saves The Zoos click on everything mentality, Lemmings lack of control as everything spirals to its death, and the slowly degrading hellscape of Takeshis Challenge making even the most basic of tasks an ordeal, creating something truly incredible. But that pales in comparison to going yeah the neon Pac-Man with the fancy gameplay mix-ups, remixed board and pellet patterns, and dreamscape-like presentation? Thats the one. Really, I have nothing to add to that. Its a perfectly zen experience with the highest caliber of tension that screams everything that makes Pac-Man good.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate -Im glad that instead of a horrible grab, they gave him a good grab, that was really nice. In any case, Pac-Man is just about as good as you can make a character with absolutely no character to him. He references being a pizza constantly so as to not be incredibly in-your-face with his less recognizable World design (that hes had for longer than he hasnt had it by now, but shush). He serves as a mascot for Namco as a whole by weaponizing its arsenal, with the ghosts being his Smash Attacks being particularly inspired. He hits all the notes youd want the character to while being as much of a company man as he could possibly be short of having an EWGF. Hed be absolutely fine and yeah, I guess he should be here if he wasnt so weirdly multi-faceted. Somehow, Pac-Mans weird grab bag of a moveset fits together, letting the guy put out just enough random distractions to pull out something special. The sheer flexibility that Bonus Fruit allows for means that he always gets some nutty set-ups, making for probably the most interesting item play character in the game. I do think that, if theyre gonna use the Pac-Man World design, he should probably have the Rev Roll or Butt Bounce somewhere in there, those games were beloved enough to deserve so much as a nod, but Pac-Man is a fascinating character to watch competitively, if only because theres some dirty shenanigans afoot. Fascinating way to make the guy more than the sum of his parts. A

Bowser Jr - Mario Strikers Charged

Juniors kind of a mid, off-meta pick in Baseball. Hes got an okay singles bat, can hit a home run if Bowsers on base but otherwise isnt a threat, (which isnt uncommon, Bowser gets walked all the time, but hes inferior to any of the Bros in that role) and he has Wall Jump so he can deny Home Runs sometimes but is the worst character in the game at doing it. Junior kind of does everything sub-par and is only really relevant for his chemistry with Bowser, making him a tech option if a Bowser captain drafts Birdo, who needs the team star bonus that good chemistry gives. So he gets the other real good Mario Sports game.

Strikers Charged gives the little guy so much attitude. Hes got the whole spoiled brat vibe down here, breakdancing when he enters the field, pretending to be intimidating like his dad, one of my favorite animations in the whole game is him kicking a goalpost in frustration and then realizing, ow thats metal, and hopping around in pain before pouting like hes not having fun anymore. Fabulous little bits of characterization there. His specials arent as strong as other captains at guaranteeing Mega Strikes - for some reason they gave Junior a banshees screech gimmick this game to represent childish wailing, fits his character well but the magic shrinky voice isnt as effective as the reverse-controls fart cloud or Daisy becoming a geomancer - but I think everything is neatly on-flavor. I think Juniors just a fun member of the cast, nicely balanced. A lot of games seem to be placing him in the Koopa Clown Car and making Juniors actual contribution incidental, and I kind of miss when he was an athletic little ninja shit kid.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - Bowser Jr is kind of a perfect representation of a Mario boss. Hes got a bunch of predictable projectiles to throw out, has a bunch of well-telegraphed movement options, he even has a specific weak point with moves that hit Junior dealing more damage than those that hit the Clown Copter! All of the flavor is right with Junior except for that Final Smash. Dont get me wrong, it works just fine for Bowser Jr, a bit underwhelming in power and confusing as to what it actually does, but he is THE Mario Sunshine character, thats what he SHOULD be doing. The issue is that it doesnt work at all for any of his seven Koopaling alts, and none of his other moves reference Sunshine in the slightest. Just little things, like having his Gaddbrush instead of his hammer, or leaving icky paint-like goop behind when he uses the Clown Car as a Clown Kart, or having it vomit out goop instead of its weird tongue attack, would go a long way in solidifying that connection. Hell, it would do a lot to shore up his moveset, too - in focusing so much in being a Mario boss, Junior has a lot of moves that are just solid single hits with very few follow-ups. It fits the characterization great, but it devotes everything into this single interpretation of the character as a Mario boss rather than Bowser Jr except the Final Smash, again. I think the Koopaling alts are holding Junoir back from a more interesting take on this character, who could slow opponents to more easily hit them with his predictable traps, and Junior is likewise holding back the Koopalings from having a big, showy Final Smash that could reference the Mario 3 airships or any of their other heights. Whats here is still good, it still works and fulfills everything its setting out to do, but its merely great when devoting the design to either Junior or the Koopalings completely would make it excellent. B

Jigglypuff - Super Smash Bros. Melee

Jigglypuff is one of the best joke characters in fighting games. Like, its either her, Dan, or Neko-Arc, no one else comes close to the throne of perfect jokes.

Jigglypuff is a lot more subtle than the other two, though; shes a huge prank on all of the mechanics of Smash Bros. What, you want us to platform in your fighting game? Heres a character who never wants to touch the ground, ignoring stage layouts almost entirely. You have a unique shielding mechanic? Heres a character who takes her balloon inspirations to heart and pops if you guard break her, killing her instantly. Heres a move that puts you to sleep for an absurd amount of time, but if you hit it juuust right on an opponent, can kill them instantly hope they dont respawn too fast and punish you horribly! Here is the fastest movement option in the entire game on a character with absurdly bad walk speed. It is useless and can kill you, but its SO FAST! Jigglypuff is a character who looks at the fundamentals of Smash Bros and goes no thanks, doing her own thing. She doesnt care about being viable or being true to her character in the Pokemon series, all that matters is taking the simple joke of its a balloon and making it as ridiculously annoying to fight as possible. Jigglypuff does not change for anyone, only the systems of the Smash game around her changes, and if she HAPPENS to be good, then shes absolutely devastating. And if not, shes usually one of the worst in the game. The scale on which you grade Jigglypuff does not function like any other Smash character; she has a dedicated kit, and either it works, has really good advantage, or is awful, with impressively little middleground. I do like the changes Ultimate made to Sing, making it actually usable at a casual level for the first time in its life, but man. I never want Jigglypuff changed to be more accurate to Pokemon. I never want Jigglypuff taken out of Smash. Give me this toxic little gremlin forever. A

Best Non-Smash Appearance: Pokemon Gold/Silver - You can actually get Jigglypuff right at the very begging of Gold & Silver, right at that tail end of Route 46 that you have access to between New Bark and Cherrygrove. Jigglypuffs kind of a miserable Pokemon in RBY, only knowing Sing for the longest time and generally being inferior Clefairy in almost all regards. But Gold and Silver, oh man, Jigglypuff is awesome. Fast leveling rate means itll always stay competitive and potentially overleveled compared to everything around it. Johto has a big problem with elemental stones, but Sun and Moon stones are always the exception, giving Jigglypuff access to Wigglytuff nice and early. And best of all, Jigglypuff can learn all three of the elemental punches from the Goldenrod Department Store. This makes Jigglypuff invaluably flexible, even compared to other Normal types, as a swiss army knife special attacker who can also delve other strats as your team needs it. Defense Curl/Rollout is an option, Sing is always a great hail mary move that sets your team up for success, Body Slam and Headbutt are always great options that are very often on the table. I ended up soloing Lance with a Level 47 Wigglytuff solely using Sing strats and the right punches landed at the right time, and it felt AWESOME. Totally turned me around on using the Pokemon in-game, do recommend, waaaaay more fun than the Togepi option the game gives you for free.

I like when Banjo players use egg as a conversion tool rather than a camping tool. Banjo flows really well from his projectile-focused state to his aggressive ones, and I do love seeing a great breegull blaster ladder set up because that move is HARD to optimize, but a lot of cautious Banjo play is just waiting for that moment. Which is a shame, because there is a middleground between that and "lolwonderwing", but Banjo's got so few reps you rarely ever see it.

Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde - Pac-Man World Rally

Did you know Blinky is playable in a Mario Kart game? Both of the initial Mario Arcade Rally GP games have him playable. Just Blinky, though, the rest are totally screwed. In any case, I dont think Ive played a game with the ghosts playable, but I assume from looking at five minutes of gameplay of each that the Mario Kart knock-off is better than the Mario Party knock-off. Mostly because it has a character named Devil Pac-Man in it, and the Prince of all Cosmos. As Assist Trophies yeah this was absolutely the right call, having them mimic their ghost behaviors was a great attention to detail, the sound design of them speeding up at the end of the summon is a great attention to detail. It works well, its crowd-pleasing, and theres just a simple kind of satisfaction you see when you encounter the ghosts. More than Pac-Man himself, Id argue; the ghosts always keep up their end of the bargain as annoying obstacles to outwit, Pac-Mans got so many weird appearances that hes kinda worn out as far as mascots go.

Excitebike - Excitebots: Trick Racing

I mean, its no longer the bike, but Excitebots was such a fun little diversion. Excite Truck took some of the best aspects of series like Cruisn - most specifically the air time you get - and made it the major focus, always looking for ways for vehicles to get sick air. Excitebots looked at that concept and made it sillier, adding in mid-race mini-games like knocking down bowling pins or throwing a dart at a dartboard with a giant mechanical arm, and its stupid and silly, but damn is it fun. It allows the game to have a fantastic sense of identity as a more Tony Hawk flavored racing title, trying to make the most out of every corner and straightaway rather than merely taking them fast. Its a game that really only sells itself to smaller children from its concept, but damn is it a fun concept. As for Excitebike itself its fine? Like, I appreciate the track editor, thats a fun idea, and the technical innovations in screen scrolling it presented led directly to Super Mario Bros so its important as Hell, but I think I prefer Wrecking Crew when it comes to the make-your-own-level NES games. Never touched Excitebike 64 though, maybe that ones good.

Fox - Super Smash Bros. Melee

TORIYA. HAH. CMON. HIYAAAAH. Man, Foxs Melee sound design was immaculate. Its astounding that you can have a voice as iconic as Star Fox 64 Fox completely discarded in favor of a Japanese man screaming and STILL have it land so well, but Melee Fox managed it. What Fox lacks in pure references to his series, he makes up for with the spirit of his series being expressed through his movement. Something as simple as Foxs super high fall speed and general quickness makes him such a dynamic character, the way he effortlessly flows up and down the stage into pinpoint combos mirroring the thrill of controlling an Arwing. He cant get into the vehicle and shoot you down himself (until Ultimate at least), but hell gladly participate in a dogfight, giving you no quarter, able to pursue and maneuver in any which way to leave no breathing room as he shoots you down with repeated, quick strikes. Fox has always had a unique spot in any roster hes appeared in, a hyper-dynamic twist on traditional platforming where he just GOES, and its always been great. Foxs core design is probably the best out of the entire Smash 64 roster, and while Captain Falcon would capture his character just a biiiit better and The Knee is a much cooler finisher than Fox Up Smash ever could be, its telling that all of the characters modeled after Fox have felt fantastic. Melee has long since been a game defined by Fox and keeping up with his pace and thats really not a bad thing. Fox is great because hes intuitive, and while repetitive showings at tournaments may have dulled the excitement of seeing him in action, playing him and pulling off that kind of movement always feels fantastic. Innovation can be left to his crewmates if you wanna toss weapons or unique mechanics onto them - Fox stands out because hes the best damn pilot in the Lylat System, and that skill of movement and daredevil showmanship is what carries him through Smash, too. A+

Best Non-Smash Appearance: Star Fox 64 - To this day, scientists are unsure why rail shooters peaked in 1997. Though full games in the genre have come and gone that may outstrip Star Fox 64 in scope, control, and presentation, not a single one has made a level half as good as MacBeth from Star Fox 64. Is it that trains are just inherently better levels than other archetypes? Is it the added goal being tricky enough to accomplish and feeling like either youve fully mastered the level or noticed tricky bonus challenges out of the corner of your eye? Is it that you always feel engaged as you work toward a central goal the entire time? While all of these things are true, our findings only lead us to one solid conclusion: Star Fox 64 has one absolutely perfect level in it, and the rest of the game is pretty damn solid, too. For real, its just a damn good time with something to at least experiment with on every level, even if the Blue Marine and a couple of those Sector whatever missions are only alright. Theres nothing to distract from how good Fox feels in this game, its pure, fun shooting all the way through.

Chain Chomp: Mario Tennis Aces

Yknow that Rosalina write-up? Basically all the criticisms of Tennis Aces go here, but add in that Chain Chomp has blind spots that make him feel a bit worse than other characters because he doesnt have hands. But you dont care because hes Chain Chomp, like ARF ARF ARF, murderdog coming for you. Feels great, glad they put him in, was a great eyecatch character choice. As an Assist Trophy, hes fine does the exact same thing as Hammer Bro where hes purely zone control. And Thwomp, now that I think about it. If I had to pick one of the three, Id prefer it be Chain Chomp, but its weird how many of these generic Mario enemies they pull that all serve the same function of stand here and guard this spot, just some slightly worse than others. We coulda gotten at LEAST King Boo in here instead of Thwomp, if not someone actually interesting like Cranky Kong or the shopkeeper from Star Fox Adventures.

Donkey Kong

DK has canonically watched all of Little Mac's fights. He knows how boxing works - he's able to drive, after all. He is four times heavier than Rocky. And, more impressively, DK has prepared for a fight with the ANTI-training montage, where he sings about how hopeless it is.

https://youtu.be/Pq25TQm_lyc

He wins anyway. Rocky cannot beat someone who also is not sure they can win, but shows up anyway to try their best. DK would start singing sometime in the 4th round and Rocky would be unable to sing with him because his lip was too swollen, thus losing the fight due to lack of motivation.

Banjo & Kazooie - Banjo-Kazooie

Banjo-Kazooie is a fantastic 3D platforming game that is bad at actually platforming. Thats not to say that it controls bad - far from it, I think its got one of the best cameras of the era that always tries to frame set pieces really nicely and allows for a lot less rigidity than Mario or DK do in the same era. But platforming is highly deprioritized in BK, with what would be a very traditional platforming area (the Rusty Bucket Bay Engine Room) often being decried as the worst area in the game. Banjo is, instead, a very relaxed platforming hero whos perfectly equipped for exploring. Banjo has VERY generous jumps with Kazooie, the combination of the Talon Trot and Feathery Flap allowing him to correct mistakes and flexibly handle almost any terrain. Going around Banjos worlds is more a matter of figuring out what moves in Banjos toolbox will solve puzzles, and trying to use his various defensive options and the limited honeycombs in each world to survive long enough to get all the music notes in one run (which is why Im a lot less of a fan of the 360 version that abolishes Note Score). Banjo is a great comfort game that tricks you into thinking its also a great platformer, and I say that with the game easily being in my Top 5 of all time! Theres something humble and cozy about controlling Banjo that has just enough kinetic appeal to not grow too boring, and levels in Kazooie are so compact yet so dense with sub-areas and things to collect that it always feels like Banjo is being tested, doing SOMETHING with his variety of abilities. Tooie is also great (add in a map and Id call it the best Metroid Prime game with how similar of exploration-based notes it touches on), but I find a lot of Banjos abilities introduced there slow the gameplay a lot and are often based around get this more limited character to this spot that would be easy for the duo to get to. Which is a fine enough mental challenge, but something about the simplicity and density of Kazooie numbs my mind and makes me indescribably happy. Gruntys Furnace Fun is also an all-timer of a boss fight, an absolutely perfect final test of how good you were at collecting stuff and remembering what you did helped along by the games tone making every little moment stand out even more.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - A lot of people seemed disappointed that Banjo wasnt hype to play as, and was very standard with only a little bit of DLC magic. And like yeah, thats how hes always been like, thats the game, my guy! Banjos always taken things at a very relaxed pace, always feeling good at a base level but needing to use his various tools in unique ways in order to succeed. And thats exactly what Banjo is; a heavier all-rounder with a few fun tools that give him crazy set-ups that casual players will never get a hold of! As much as I love the guy, I dont think his moveset impresses me but I dont necessarily find that a bad thing. Banjo feels like a character whos been here since Brawl, so comfortable and so familiar to play that it barely feels like it took him twenty years to join the series! Thats really the best place for Banjo, I think - comfortable, familiar, and with just enough stuff under the hood to let players really latch onto him. Hed fall into the same category as Pit or Wolf as yeah theyre just good and make sense if he wasnt the most immaculately animated character in the game. Both Banjo and Kazooie are a joy to see in motion, bringing forth a kind of lazy cartoon slapstick that the series was desperately missing. Their ledge animation is a joy, Breegull Bash speaks for itself as the best looking Forward Smash in the game, the amount of times the two give each other aside looks to reassure one another or check that theyre okay for mere frames is baffling for how small a detail it is - character-wise, there is no one better on the roster at wearing EVERYTHING the character is about right on their sleeve. Banjo continues to just feel good and comfortable to play, and thats more than enough for me. A

Knuckles the Echidna - Sonic Adventure 2

Now, I love Knuckles in Sonic & Knuckles. Fabulous exploring for secrets with him, stages are all oriented so he can get the most out of their terrain, feels great whenever you punch through a wall by ramming his face into it. I dont think Knuckles has ever felt bad to play unless the game hes in is unplayably bad, and even then, damn is he the most incomprehensible mess of physics implosions in Sonic 06. But theres something special about using Knuckles to glide over a huge 3D space, to go off of a big mountain and drill all the way to the bottom, hear that ORAORAORAORAORA RATS. There are few stages that are more fun to just exist in than Pumpkin Hill, and Knuckles feels amazing flying around it. None of the other stages quite live up to that height - Wild Canyons fine, Aquatic Mine is trash, Death Chamber is not a level its a form of torture, and Meteor Herd is also fine - but theres something that feels great about Knuckles in 3D that only the Adventure games really touched. The SA1 Emerald Hunts were way too short, though - I know they have a better radar but those levels were over in like two minutes tops each.

Dr. Kawashima - Brain Age: Test Your Brain In Minutes A Day!

Wow thats really the title, huh? Anyway, I dont think Kawashima is playable in any Brain Age titles, to my knowledge? Hes a lot less encouraging and cuddly than Dr. Lobe from Big Brain Academy and Professor Layton are, but hes an alright guy. Sometimes he turns into the devil. I definitely think that hes an interesting mascot, taking a real professor and making him a polygonal coach/antagonist, feel that he pulled that off a little better than Polygon Man, but not quite as good as Shinya Arino did in Retro Game Challenge. Man, you reminded me I havent watched Game Center CX in forever, I miss when translations for that show were more frequent. Anyway, uh Kawashimas good? He fulfills his role well and makes for a really interesting assist trophy, upper half of them for sure. Not sure what to add past that.

I wish that Golf Super Rush was a little bigger than it was. It did a great job actually differentiating the characters, but just didn't have enough courses and the actual speed golf bit was just... kind of too divided between phases? Like I expected it to be a rush to get the ball in the hole, but it's still based on stroke play primarily. Having only two variants of that stadium mode, which could've been a great hook, was also kind of a downer. Just a lot of little things going wrong instead of 'big picture' misses like the recent Tennis games were.

Elec Man - Mega Man: Powered Up

I like the idea of Elec Man being vain and self-interested, its a fun turn for the character and plays off of him being Inafunes favorite really nicely. The Elec Beam is a fun power to toy with, by which I mean it is fun to just hit the button and not think sometimes. Thats kind of it, his appearance in Mega Man Soccer aint gonna challenge a full-fledged game appearance. I guess I can say how happy I am that hes gone in favor of the Wily Capsule? Felt wrong not to have Wily in the game, Hell, it STILL feels wrong not to have Eggman represented in any way, and I greatly prefer having the good doctor instead of an Inafune vanity pick. Glad to see Smash wash its hands of Inafune as much as possible.

Terry Bogard - Garou: Mark of the Wolves

Youd have me hard pressed to find an appearance of Terry I dont enjoy. He is the perfect middleground between traditional shoto and rushdown styles, having just enough of the basic tools needed to function as a defensive world warrior, but having a sense of style and an equal amount of moves that keeps him an exciting brawler. Terry is equally a fantastic unga bunga hit buttons character and a disciplined defensive character depending on his interpretation, and the dude just feels great. I also appreciate that KoF has had English voice acting for some time now, and fairly effective voiceover for a fighting game, but Terry is still here screaming AH YOU OKAY ROCKYOU like a crazy man, its great. Of all his appearances, I am a sucker for character progression via time jumps, so Garou speaks to me pretty deeply. Plus, introduction of Buster Wolf, unsafe as it is at first, have to greatly appreciate. Plus he plays a bit more defensively when hes older and Im a cowardly slow-brained player, so thats appreciated. But I dont think theres a single Terry appearance in standard Fatal Fury or KoF games that I wouldnt enjoy. Terry is just universally great.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - Sakurai knew that a large amount of his playerbase would not know who Terry Bogard was. So he set out to create the coolest, most fun version of the character he possibly could and damn, he succeeded. Terry is an absolute blast to play at any level. As a standard kit, he just fits into Smash Bros. Ryu, Ken, and Kazuya do not feel right moving around in a platform fighter - they are incredibly dedicated recreations of their various systems, and they do an amazing job of it, but theyre very stiff and do not interact with the platforming mechanics of Smash well at all. Put them in Temple or on Pac-Land instead of a tournament legal stage, and youve lost something. Terry, though, feels completely functional as a Smash Bros fighter, something about the way he runs feeling like, yknow, an actual run rather than emulating a fighting game. You can play Terry like a standard Smash character up until 100% and everything wont be as optimal as it could be, but it could work. But then you add on the fighting game sauce on top, and he does that fantastically! Jab Jab Power Dunk is such a simple combo that even Smash players are able to input it, and is so inviting that the supposedly ARCANE art of motion inputs become something that players would actually want to learn. There are so many cute little details with him, from the dodge attack to losing his hat in stamina matches to being able to cancel his specials that really sell him as a special attraction. And then, the Go Sauce. I know a lot of people are critical of Go!! as a mechanic, but I love it. Terry isnt a weak character at base, but hes not exactly one that excels at recovery - put him in disadvantage, and he struggles hard. Go!! is a punishment for not sealing the deal with Terry early enough AND giving him enough stage control that he can perform his super specials. Power Geyser and Buster Wolf both necessitate Terry to have solid footing in order to use, and require forethought from the Terry player to properly use, thinking of set-ups so they can actually use the inputs rather than maneuvering around, something inherently more important to a platform fighter than any other 2D fighting game. Getting bodied by the AH YOU OKAY special or a high recovery eviscerated by the Geyser is both a reward for surviving so long for the Terry player and a punishment for Terrys opponent for failing to close it out, and its a LOT more generous to his opponents than One-Wing form, Arsene, or even aura! Terry fits the kinetic language of Smash Bros perfectly, feels great to his people with at a base level, and flows in a way that isnt nearly as obtrusive as the other fighting game characters. He would be perfect if he had a unique intro where Ken threw him his hat. Missing thats gonna dock you from perfection, buddy. A+

King K. Rool - Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

https://youtu.be/iEwnsrxygJQ

I have wanted K. Rool in Smash ever since I saw that Smash 64 had unlockable characters. For some reason, the three that I settled on being my dream picks (knowing that Jigglypuff was one of them) were Bowser, King K. Rool, and Gengar for some reason. Seeing K. Rool only grow less and less relevant, along with the Donkey Kong franchise as a whole, for decades was a disheartening process. This guy was MY final boss, not the first one I beat, (all love to Marx and Bowser) but the first one that, on his own, was an hours-long challenge. In all three DKC games, even; I never even beat Kaptain K. Rool as a young kid he was so impossibly hard! So even as his name was batted around as a potential fan favorite and he was thrown a bone as a Mii Costume, my expectation for Ultimate was MAYBE hed be thrown a bone as an Assist Trophy. And then Klaptrap was revealed as an AT and, instead of intuiting something better, my heart sank as he couldnt even get a cameo role.

And then in that same presentation he was revealed to be playable. So, uh, there is no way for me to be unbiased here, but K. Rool is my favorite Smash Bros character design. Its one thing to want a character for years and years (hi Little Mac, Banjo), its another for him to exceed your expectations, dethrone your main of nearly two decades, and reinvigorate the conversation around the character from dead to the guy at the fast food restaurant recognizes him on my t-shirt.

K. Rool emulates a video game boss fight perfectly; a ton of predictable, but incredibly strong moves from the front, but a ton of vulnerability in the back, with a bunch of periods where you cant damage the guy without being punished hard. Fighting as K. Rool as simple, a matter of getting out your options to overwhelm your opponent and smashing them with singularly crushing blows. Fighting against K. Rool is equally simple and engaging, taking advantage of any predictable behaviors and punishing him for days on end. Both sides get a ton out of the engagement, both know their roles immediately, and both sides get to have a fun-as-Hell time whenever theyre in the drivers seat. K. Rools got everything you could ever want from a heavy - power, armor, cheese, frustration, the ability to actually get out of disadvantage with neutral air, suffering so you can still complain that your character is a combo video showcase, tech chase situations where you just win if you guess right, one of the best and most fulfilling spikes in the game with his back air. Then you stack in his references to his boss fights, which are all clever and multi-faceted and work to enhance his playstyle rather than just being in there for the sake of references (the fact that he does his DKC3 flappy arms damage animation when entering freefall after his Up B is everything to me). And THEN, Smash gives him the special sauce it only gives to its best designs, and enhances his characterization. Things like the torn cape, having so many of his moves mirror Donkey Kongs in function (his forward and back airs are reversed versions of DKs, he has the same clap, his up and down airs have extra oomph compared to the big ape), actually getting to fire off the big dumb DK64 laser, adding a rap section to Gangplank Galleon just because DKs famous for rapping now - this tells the story of the villain who clawed his way back to relevancy just to one-up his nemesis one more time. This reinforces all the things fans of K. Rool love about him while inventing new fans. I know that I am going to be hyper-attentive to every little detail of this character, but he is such an absolute joy to play. Hes got that Ganondorf-like trait of you pick him up and you kill things with the personality of Dedede, the fundamental physicality of DK and Bowser, and enough of his own unique traits to set him apart. If I designed the character to appeal to me specifically, I would not make something this good. S

Best Non-Smash Appearance: Donkey Kong Barrel Blast - K. Rool uniformly sucks in all the other games hes playable in, which hurts quite a bit. Usually hes the minmaxed character; highest strength possible, lowest finesse. This makes him outright unplayable in DK King of Swing and the prototype version of Diddy Kong Pilot (also worth looking him up in that game, damn Rare had some zany voice clips for the Kongs in the 64 era and hearing K Rool scream WATCH IT, APE in the raspiest tone imaginable is some kind of freaky), and in Mario Super Sluggers hes kind of just another Bowser, who was nerfed to about a mid-tier level. Also Super Sluggers isnt as good as Superstar Baseball, way more automated, so thats a shame. Barrel Blast at least has the decency to make him a good character, above-average in everything, and yknow, I think Barrel Blast wouldve been pretty okay if it released with the bongos. Waggling around is annoying, but its a combo-based racing game where you choose where your turbo boost starts, then crash through obstacles around the course to maintain the boost while avoiding traps. When it feels good, it feels really good, the issue being only two or three courses end up feeling great! But I mean K. Rool is objectively the best Kremling in that game, and they have more fun item sets, so might as well?

Kat & Ana - WarioWare Gold

Split Screen is one of the most simple but effective WarioWare modes theyve ever devised. Having one microgame start one one screen whilst one is wrapping up on the other, leaving no break between them, creates this great division of attention on your peripheral vision thats honestly a preferable alternative to a lot of WarioWares marathon modes. So many of those devolve into repetition and well I suck at this one so Ill lose a hit when it comes up, otherwise this is free. By never letting your attention waver, you never reach that state, always engaged in the process of back-and-forth gaming. And using the duo as the hosts for the mode just makes sense, glad they got the call instead of Dribble & Spitz or the volt family.

Little Mac - Mike Tysons Punch-Out!!

So the only reason I have something resembling a poorly performing part-time job on Youtube is because of Mike Tysons Punch-Out. I may be a little biased, but Im rather fond of the game! Theres something so simple yet so addictive turning whats essentially a reaction-test puzzle game into a sporting event, learning basic patterns that are often very repeatable, but constant tests of attention and reflexes to execute. Its a very difficult game not to get; when you lose to Piston Honda (and you very likely will lose to Piston Honda on the first go-round), youll know if the game is for you or not, and if it is, damn its fantastic. While I love the Wii remake and do think its a richer well to draw from, I think there are two major elements that make the NES classic a better showing for Little Mac, specifically. The first is his size - Punch-Out Wii puts him at a much more manageable height so that his model could reasonably reach the boxers hes supposed to be punching. NES Mac is PITIFULLY small, dwarfed by every progressively bigger body you come up against, making foes like Bald Bull and Soda Popinski look like impossible to slay giants the first time you lay eyes on them. Sells the David Vs Goliath story in that kind of awe-inspiring Shadow of the Colossus sort of way, just with more machismo and better controls. The second is the presence of Mike Tyson himself. There is a huge difference between fighting Mr. Sandman or Mr. Dream, scary cartoon boxer who youre told is the best and is a really tough video game character, and Mike Tyson, legitimate unbeatable super-athlete with his real-world reputation tossed directly into the video game. Tyson acts just like his real-life counterpart, going for a lightning fast first-round KO where every single one of his dynamite punches lead to an instant knockdown. Tyson is able to build up an aura of intimidation that cant be captured by just video games alone, taking his real-life prestige and weaponizing it as the difficulty is cranked up as high as can be and he sends players tumbling back to the mat. You COULDNT beat Mike Tyson; after all your training, he sent you packing in 10 seconds flat on your first attempt. But Mac gives you the tools you need to find that one in a million chance, to study him, and to finally win. And that sort of triumph is something that may have been lost to time as Tysons reputation has yknow, changed a lot. But Mac captured lightning in a bottle there, and as quickly as it faded, damn did those sparks burn bright.

Best Smash Appearance: Smash 4 - Man the For Glory era was something else. Little Mac is outright a character that I think does not work in Smash Bros - just platforming around him prevents the character from playing the game. All of his mechanics are done better by either Kazuya or Terry, he outright is missing half of his moveset, and he fundamentally misunderstands what it means to be Little Mac. Throwing out big, meaty hitboxes that power through poorly-timed attack attempts - those are the bosses of Punch-Out, not its protagonist. Little Mac encourages his opponents to weave defensively, dodge his punch then counter-punch, and thats yknow, really backwards! Macs gameplay identity leans a lot more into his Super Punch-Out design, based around maintaining his momentum without getting hit in order to unleash a super-charged star punch, which I SUPPOSE is fair - the NES Punch-Out only worked as it did because the technically-limited Famicom couldnt emulate the arcade games, so itd be possible to see it as a weird prototype for the REAL arcade Punch-Out experience - but is also backwards in celebrating why people love Little Mac and the Punch-Out series. I dont think Mac is unfun to play as, but I do think that there are better characters who outclass him at every single gimmick he wants to bring forward, and as DLC has been released, his place in the roster has simply become invalidated. I want him back, I love Punch-Out and wanted so badly to main him before the release of Smash 4, but I want him completely redone. Also making Doc randomly show up as a taunt? Criminal, that man has more charisma than most of the Smash cast combined, he does not deserve to be restrained. F

Petey Piranha - Mario Superstar Baseball

Look Im gonna be honest, these second-tier Mario characters? Its gonna be Superstar Baseball unless theyre only okay in it, in which case itll probably be Strikers Charged. Anyway, Petey is in invaluable top tier character, either the 2nd or 3rd best in the game, behind only Bowser and maybe Donkey Kong. Petey has maximum batting power, but has a weaker bat spread than Bowser, meaning that he needs good contact to easily hit a homer instead of Bowsers if it makes contact theres a 90% chance its going over the fence. He has chemistry with King Boo, Donkey Kong, and Birdo, three characters who will guaranteed see every single game unless you hate winning. But most importantly, he has the strongest throwing arm in the game, maxed out at 100. For reference, the next-strongest arm has an 80 throwing stat. This makes Petey the best catcher in the game by an indescribable amount; every single team benefits from having Petey on their team, as he basically shuts down the concept of stealing with anything but the fastest characters on his own. Additionally, Dnokey Kong has the Laser Beam ability, which increases his throwing speed by 30% when he throws balls to home, which stacks with his chemistry boost with Petey, making him the second-safest throw to home base (and the only practical one) in the entire game. HOWEVER, Petey is balanced by his negative chemistry tree, which causes fielders to occasionally make errors if they throw to a character they dont like. Petey has negative chemistry with almost all of the heroes, most relevantly Daisy who plays a good infield, but also has negative with one of the most important infield presences in the game: Pianta. Pianta is the unquestioned best second baseman in the game, having a great arm, being a huge body with a great slide and the laser beam ability, making him both the ideal cutoff and the best option for denying grounders. However, if hes teamed up with Petey, this can cause errors at the most critical of times, preventing the most oppressive team of a DK/Pianta infield from being as successful as it could be. Petey is a crazy character and is always a fun threat behind the plate. Play Superstar Baseball its way better than it should be.

Ice Climbers - Super Smash Bros Ultimate? Maybe?

This is the game where the Ice Climbers are not boiled down to the ability to land a grab. And thats really neat, desync combos with the Icies are some of the coolest things to see. But the opportunity cost to figuring out the Ice Climbers is so, so vast compared to playing any other character. I really like the potential that the Ice Climbers possess, having two characters support each other in tandem and literally propping each other up to stay in the fight is great. They have a totally unique feel that Rosalina and Luma can only pretend to reach, and folks were right to be upset when they were excluded from Smash 4; theres something conceptually tantalizing about the duo. Its just a matter of if players are able to discover tech that makes the most out of the two, and its not quite there yet. I do wish they had more moves where one directly supports the other, like one tossing snowballs for the other to shoot off of their hammer or something. Theres more to be done here, but I feel like its also up to players to further discover what cool things can be done with these guys. Is four years too late for the meta to develop for them? I dont want to say so considering how much tech was discovered late in Melees life, but I want to say the window is closing. Except this to go up or down depending on how Ultimates lifecycle goes. C+

Best Non-Smash Appearance: WarioWare Inc: Mega Microgame$ - Its shorter than Ice Climber. I want to take a moment to discuss how bad the jump feels in Ice Climber. Any sort of horizontal momentum feels like a cruel joke that will only sometimes grace you on a whim. Donkey Kong Jr. feels like aerobic gymnastics compared to how inflexible Ice Climber is. The difficulty from the game comes entirely from how stiff jumping is. You will bonk your head. You will fall. You will die. It will feel bad. And the WarioWare three second version somehow feels ten times better than the entire game of Ice Climber.

Smash Ultimate spoilers follow. Which sounds like a silly thing, but still.

Master Hand -Super Smash Bros Ultimate

Yeah, so that one moment, huh? Felt INSANELY good. I know Master Hand is selectable through an easy glitch in Melee, and somehow thats way more accessible than this penultimate moment in World of Light, seriously why cant you do that fight easily on command. But theres few things that Smash Bros can really do, in its current state, to surprise. Everything is about the pomp and circumstance of the announcements; what Smash IS means a lot more than what Smash DOES. This was one of the few cards Smash had left to throw out, and damn was it well played after twenty years of build-up. Great choices of moves, even though its essentially a glorified multi-man melee, damn does it feel good to finally get inside the glove. Also, best appearance is definitely Smash 3DSs classic mode as a boss, the multi-layered fight to get to the Master Core without the nonsense of Master Fortress, hes got great variety in his moves, the kraft singles actually killed me the first time I encountered them, man, beating that at max difficulty as Little Mac was a fun mistake.

Bowser - Mario & Luigi: Bowsers Inside Story

Fun fact, when I first got Bowsers Inside Story, I was sick with bronchitis. I proceeded to play it obsessively, and then was so bad at the Fawful Express fight where you have to blow into the mic, I passed out and made it worse. Neither the best nor the worst game to physically hurt me, but damn I hate that train!

Anyway, Bowsers always felt great to control in every non-Melee appearance. I think hes the most fun party member in SMRPG, mostly because hes one of two that doesnt totally trivialize the game, and doing a solo playthrough with him (from Booster Tower onward) is one of the most fun playthroughs of an RPG Ive done. Super Paper Mario he dumpsters everything in his path, Mario Party 10 he singlehandedly props the entire game on his back and doesnt quite salvage it, but damn he gives it a good effort. But man, Bowsers Inside Story hes so good that I never want to go back to controlling Mario and Luigi, who I usually greatly enjoy! Something about using Bowsers brute strength to carry his momentum with those overworld dash punches feels incredible, and combining that with his spike ball transformation later in the game makes overworld traversal insanely fun. He feels fantastic to use in battle, his moveset filled with fun mini-games and simple damn punching things feels really good, sold by some fantastic sprite animation and effects that bring out all of the cartoon power of the Koopa King. I do think hes a little TOO stupid in this game, I do like my jokes at Bowsers expense but BiS Bowser is willing to put way too many random things in his mouth for no reason, and deciding to have no self-preservation instinct so Mario and Luigi can constantly bring him back from the brink of death, but damn the Dark Bowser fight. Seriously one of the best setpiece battles in an RPG. The sequence where Bowser has to quicktime event his way through his entire damn army to smash his doppelganger in the face is, bar none, the coolest enemy phase technique the Mario series has ever done, and provides enough of a challenge to legitimately be threatening and feel GREAT to nail. And then the final Bowser Punch, screw Captain Falcon, THAT is the single most satisfying fist in all of Nintendos catalogue to land. BiS is a celebration of everything that Bowser is, and he does an amazing job of selling exactly why he deserves it every chance he gets. Except those Giant Bowser fights, those are only ok.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - I love the lore that Bowser was banned from amiibo tournaments for a good while because he was just too dummy good at the base mechanics of the game that other amiibo were like well hes just the strongest, guess Ill just die. I love the feeling of Bowser in Smash - he hits things, he does a ton of damage, oh god Fire Breath just did 40% how did that happen, and then people die. Ultimate finally got Bowser to the point where thats actually effective - hes gone from an absolutely worthless character in Melee past his get-up attack and grounded Up B to being a legit tournament threat not by changing up his character, but by slowly improving his tools until he became scary enough that he couldnt be ignored. I like to think of Smash Bros Bowser as Bowser as designed by Bowser; theres no goofy RPG or good dad to be seen, just a big brute whose strength and stubbornness alone will see him through, just as hed like to be seen. And do I miss some of those elements of him? Yeah, I think Bowsers a bit bestial in his taunts and mannerisms, even with Smash 4 correcting his posture. But I think if Bowser entered a fighting tournament, he WOULD just rely on punching people in the face and wouldnt resort to the Clown Car or goofy gadgets. I think a couple of his moves could be changed up a bit, reference some of his other abilities from other fights, give him THE PUNCH instead of the weird dropkick he got because of course Bowser is famous for his top rope diving kicks, but I really like the base of whats here. He doesnt need a major face lift, just polish and character work. And considering he was kinda just awful for two straight games, thats a HUGE improvement! B+

Meta Knight - Kirby: Planet Robobot

Meta Knightmare Returns is, by far, the best the Knightmare mode has ever been. Canonizing Galaxia Darkness, working through Robobots excellent stages, putting himself on par with the Robobot armor able to destroy trucks and steel walls with effortless sword strikes. Meta Knight fits the speedrunning framework so much better than Kirby, Dedede, or every helper from Star Allies I dunno man just do it. The combination of Sword and Wing gives him both incredible mobility tools and satisfying close-quarters combat, and his general power boost makes Sword not feel like the wet noodle it usually feels like in Kirbys hands! But man, the finale to Meta Knightmare Ultra is what really sets it apart. Testing Meta Knights abilities against a gauntlet of bosses complete unique to him, pushing him further with each one, obviously tanking your time if you die on the third and have to refight it.. its such a great cinematic experience the first time and feels perfectly tense for repeat playthroughs.

Best Smash Appearance: Brawl - Basically by default. We all know the story of Brawl Meta Knight, how he strangled the competitive scene in the crib before it could ever really grow legs because he was just always THERE, never for a second not being the best character in the game. He was rightfully drastically nerfed from there and hes kind of just been incomplete since? He lost the tools and links that made him so good, and in the process was left a character who just didnt function the way he should, instead just getting small bits of chip wherever possible. I think the team had no idea what to do with Meta Knight and just threw changes at a wall until they went yeah thats good, and then tossed him into the patch notes for every update to Ultimate and left him where he lies. I get that hes supposed to be this big time air combo character who can hyper-aggressively chase you off-stage but Sora does that significantly better in every way? Most of his moves have a really samey feel outside of Dimensional Cape, he still has the weird deep Brawl voice when both the anime and the games have taken a massive departure from that, they changed his final smash AFTER Robobot put it into the series and made it a real thing so Forgotten Land had to canonize the new Final Smash yeah my dudes just a mess. D-

Otacon - Metal Gear Solid 4

I... THINK this is Otacon's only playable appearance if you count piloting the Mk II and Mk III? Like they didn't add him to MGO or anything. Otacon's pretty the most consistent "soap opera" character in all of Metal Gear, somehow always having a new personal crisis to overcome that his previous character development left him totally unequipped to handle. From making cool weapons for others because he loves mecha to contributing to world safety on his own terms to accepting that he contributes to others' lives emotionally and going out of his way to help them to finally becoming a person who can stand up without someone else's support and instead choose to support others, the dude goes from a fractured idea of a person into someone who's actually whole. And I find that really neat, Otacon's always one of the more memorable vocal performances in the series with his naive enthusiasm always giving way to tremendous vulnerability. Makes him very easy to root for in a Charlie Brown kind of way, and every time the football gets pulled away from him (see: any time he cares about a woman), you know it's coming, but you feel bad every time.

Sora - Kingdom Hearts II

Theres a really careful balance to be had between Soras various appearances. Kingdom Hearts is probably the most freeform of Soras appearances, but thats mostly due to less focused combat that only suggests the intensity of future brawls. Kingdom Hearts III feels really good in its best moments, but theres a lot of automation, especially with the Magic Kingdom Specials thrown directly into the combat, which always feel obtrusive in a way Duck Flare doesnt quite reach. KHII was the gold standard for the decade and change it took for KH3 to come out, and I still think it is. Its still a very unga bunga, hit X until you hit triangle and heal or dodge as you wait for Donalds MP to refill, but its got a really nice flow to it. New forms naturally lead into one another to change up the gameplay through the progression of the game, bosses are filled with gimmicks that require use of various spells or other features that would be otherwise lost in a pure aggro playthrough, and Soras defensive options are opened up neatly as bosses get harder and necessitate their use. Its just really well considered pacing through and through, with a fantastic reward at the end with the data fights to really flex. With that said, I havent played anything of KH3 after its initial release, so if that changes things thats good!

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - Yeah the Peter Pan vibes are really strong with this one. You can REALLY tell how much DLC shine Sora got, the way he animates and flips around, heck the way he gets the RHYTHM of Kingdom Hearts combat right with exaggerated hitstun, is insane. Getting the feel of zipping around with reaction commands in just Soras base movement was clearly a priority, and while I dont like playing around with it that much, the attention to detail in pure feel is insane. Hes got a lot of moves that truly feel unique to him, his down air especially having this fantastic sense of gravity that makes it so much more enjoyable to use than other stall and fall moves. This is probably as strong of a solo Sora moveset as one could ask for, with all the bells and whistles attached but it feels really weird for Mr. My Friends Are My Power to not have any friends. I know Donald and Goofy are impossibilities, but their presence is GREATLY missed in Soras kit, and even in spite of them, no reference to Riku or Kairi, even just in signature keyblade attacks from one or the other, feels like something is missing to me. I think Sora is about as good as he could possibly be given the legal limitations that were obviously put on the character. But it aint Kingdom Hearts without friendship in my face, and while I like whats here plenty, theres a lot of what could have been. Plus Im not a fan of the wacky counter. B+

Also as an aside, Sora has the worst Classic Mode. Like, of any Smash game, of any route,, period. That Mr. Game & Watch fight is just miserable.

Captain Falcon - EVERYTHING BUT BRAWL

https://youtu.be/VtfymGyrxkQ

Here is a 30 minute video I made on why Captain Falcon is so good, how everything he does builds to this identity of pushing yourself to the most extreme limit possible. It has Waluigi hitting a Peoples Elbow on Proto Man, Kamen Rider, and Captain Falcon ending terrorism and religion through racing in it, so I think its a good video. Please like and subscribe and ring the bell or whatever, idk, WWE claimed it so I don't get ad revenue from this one anymore. I just love the video.

But the tl;dw version is that Captain Falcon is absolutely pitch-perfect at encapsulating everything that F-Zero is about. Falcon in F-Zero is a very balanced pilot, one able to handle most tracks with an easy enough learning curve that players will both be able to stay competitive in the race and not fall off the track and die too often. However, because of his merely average boost, hes also not a racer that will often pull out in front and dominate the competition, making him a daredevil that constantly ensures close races where hell likely have just enough left in the tank to clench out a win. In Smash Bros, he combines the language of superheroes from both east and west - taking look inspiration from Tim Burtons Batman and Judge Dredd and moveset inspiration from tokusatsu - and mixes it in with the momentum of F-Zero to create a character that embodies all the series is about. Everything from his slow turn speed to insane dash game represents the feel of controlling a car, every move he does a flash or representation of the boost as he bursts forward, and the Falcon Punch being the show-stopping centerpiece that is always impractical, always stupid, but has the ol pro wrestling razzle dazzle on it. Falcon is a character that should be incredibly lame, and some players do tend to play him lame, but he has all of the tools to make you WANT to go for hype. And all this on a character with no gimmicks or frills other than hit you really hard and fast; no disjoints, no projectiles, no stage control. Falcon ensures that he gets a fair fight with everyone on the cast, and when you beat someone with Falcon, there is absolutely no doubt that they were outplayed. Falcon is so inherently good at showing off all of the fun things about Smash Bros gameplay while simultaneously being cool race car man that the series would not be the same without him. Captain Falcon is undoubtedly bigger than F-Zero, and in a sense, Captain Falcon IS Smash Bros. Any of his appearances fall under this category and could be his best (except Brawl, Brawl Falcon is mid at best), but I do love the dynamism he brings to Melee as the best of its high-risk, high-reward powerhouses. Falcon is designed to be a crowd pleaser. And he does it flawlessly no matter what game hes in. S

Toad - Super Mario 3D World + Bpwsers Fury

The Bowsers Fury version in specific because all the characters got a universal speed boost. This takes Toad from the only character that feels good to speedrun levels with to OH MY GOD HES SO FAST I LOVE HIM. Toad is able to be absolutely ridiculous in Bowsers Fury, zooming off the screen faster than the game can keep up with him at times, and its an utterly exhilarating feeling. I refuse to beat Champions Road as anyone but Toad, as trying with anybody else just feels disingenuous - that weird diaper man is a MASTER of platforming, he is going to DESTROY this weird space challenge by trucking through it as fast as possible. I cannot go back to other characters after trying Toad; he has ruined me. He is too good. I miss when he used to say Im the best! all the time, though, that was such a funny catchphrase.

Best Smash Appearance: Ultimate - Hes throws now! Thats cool! I think that fits the guy a lot more than releasing a weird toxic cloud equal to the pain hes inflicted? I also think theyre probably the worst part of Peachs moveset, its cool that hes there, but NOW he decides to be effective? My man, you have THE most losing record when it comes to defending ANYTHING. D