Lurker > nikko004

;A; you too @MelzezDoor you also a real homie
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

Nobert scratches his head. "Like what? Man, you're being really vague. C'mon, just tell us what the deal is."

You look away. "I apologize. I cannot reveal more than this. It will be very...disadvantageous to me if I do. I can only ask for your trust on the matter."

His frustration starts getting more apparent on his face, but that quickly dissipates from Evi smacking him.

"Oh, lighten up dangit!" Evi flies over to your side. "She helped us out a lot, didn't she? We'd be really screwed if it weren't for her!"

Nobert rubs his head, then sighs in defeat. "Yeah. You're right. My bad. That said, I might still wanna fuck around on these Wings."

Evi circles him again. "Yeah, these are pretty fun!"

You sigh. What shall you guys do now?

...

>???: Enter the plot.

You are an average office intern. Or at least, you seem as average as your peers.

You look over to the cubicle next to you, where your co-worker Brady sits. He looks average too. You've been staring at him for about 10 seconds now, yet he remains focused on his work as the sound of his keyboard clacks go uninterrupted. Brady's gonna be a tough nut to crack.

You try to spark a conversation with him. "Hey Brady, how's your team looking?"

He replies, still keeping his focus on his computer. "Well, they're still stuck at the first level. And their Seer almost broke her confidentiality. I had to give them so many pushes so they could catch up."

You stand up and loom over behind him, taking a look at the monitor. There, you see three people fooling around in the sky.

Brady's hands stop. He abruptly moves out of his chair and walks briskly to the bathroom. "Could you monitor them in my place for a bit?"

Like hell you'll just be here watching. You already do too much of nothing at this job. You take a nice seat and look at what's on the screen. On the corner of the screen, there's a window full of buttons and controls such as:

[ Show prompt - (type prompt here), (target players) ]
[ Show message - (type message here), (target players) ]
[ Spawn NPC - (NPC type), (quantity) ]
[ Spawn Item - (Item type), (quantity) ]
[ Teleport Player - (target players), (location) ]

What do you do?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

Nobert stands up tall. "Yes. Hell yes. This is happening." He spreads out his arms, materializing the Dragon Wings on his back. He then lets out one big flap with them, sending out a gust of wind around you guys. "THIS. IS FUCKING. HAPPENING."

Evi pouts. "Hey! No fair, I wanted t'do that first!" She follows suit in pixelizing her Angel Wings. As they spread out, glowing feathers float downwards around you guys, making your surroundings look ethereal.

You can't help but stare at her.

She smiles at you. "What's up Dani? Aintcha gonna get your Wings out too?"

Your blink a bit to snap out of your trance. "Oh! Uh, yes. Right. Wings!" You wander through your inventory and try to equip them.

[ Cannot equip item in HDD. Please swap out one item from RAM. ]

You sigh in frustration and look at what you have equipped. Your eye particularly zeroes in on the Satela Pendant. As much as you don't like looking at it, you can't help but keep it on. You swap out the Miku Plushie.

[ Angel Wings allocated to RAM. Equipped to WINGS ]

With that, you feel a warm, white glow on your back, along with a rain of feathers around you. Without thinking much about it, you flap them naturally, blowing wind around you and your party members. Controlling them feels organic, like they've been a part of you this whole time. You let out a laugh. "This is...most exhilarating! Haha!"

The three of you take off to the sky simultaneously. The greenery of the forest looks like grass now. You can also see Initium Village all the way from here.

Evi flies circles around you and Nobert. "Holy smokes! This is flippin' amazin'! Everythin' looks so tiny from here! Man, I can't believe birds have it so good!"

Nobert flies around her in a helix-like path. "Congrats on admitting you're a pigeon. I'll send my regards to every car parked on the streets."

Evi matches his helix path, forming something like a Sky-DNA. "Puttin' words in my mouth, are ya?! You wanna go?!"

He grins and flies away. "See you at the finish line!"

Evi pouts and flies after him. "Wait ya doof! Y'didn't say where we're goin'!"

You look up to the Green Vortex. "Both of you! We musn't lose sight of our objective!"
They're too far now. You fly after them. "Fellow party members, please slow down! We must make haste to the Vortex or we shall lose!"

He circles back around towards you. "Wait, lose? I thought you said we have no time limit?

You cover your mouth. "Uh...please forget what I just said. But trust me when I say we must hurry to the next area."

He crosses his arms. "Dani, that's not something very trustworthy to say. C'mon, you clearly know a lot about this game than we do, what are you hiding from us?"

Evi follows behind. "Ha! I guess I win by default!" She notices tension in the air. "Oh, we're bein' serious now. Gotcha."

You twiddle your fingers. "We're being watched. Or rather, evaulated."

They raise an eyebrow.

You look at them with less hesitation. "Do you remember anything about what you we're doing just before you entered the game?"

They look at each other, then back at you. Nobert speaks up. "You know, I guess I don't. Weird. I definitely remember all about myself and what I do."

"Yeah, same here," Evi chimes in. "I remember all my old friends and stuff from the real world. Then the game kinda just...happened while I was workin'."

You nod at them. "Good. Please hold those memories dear. You're probably in this game because there's something you desperately need to change in your lives."
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

Your eyes lighten up as you begin re-writing the code, just as you did with the other dice.
Read-only, on. 03 and 04 again.

You hesitate before hitting the enter key. Your hand wanders over to your lips, still moist from that soft sensation earlier.

"For...for her!!" You scream as you spear through the enter key once more.

The white void around you dissolves into pixels.

The Dragon's eyes widen the moment the dice land into place. "Wh...what the fuck? You actually rolled a seven?!"

Nobert pumps his fist in the air. "Hell yeah! Suck it you oversized lizard!"

[ New skill acquired: Overwrite Overload (Any, usable at 100% Focus, Hack any small object with no time limit) ]

Evi sits up slowly, still a little shaken from stumbling. "Wait...we won?" Her face shines with a very wide grin as she embraces you. "We won!!! Oh my lord! We get the flippin' sword!!!!!! I knew you could do it Dani!"

Your focus is completely drained, leaving you fully awake to what's going on. You realize that Evi is full on squeezing you, making you steam out from your ears as you redden with the intensity of the sun.

The Dragon massages his temples. "Fuck. Fuck! Alright, fine." He snaps his fingers, causing the doors behind you to disappear. A white silhouette also appears in the air, which splits into three. Each of them fly to each of you. They then pixelize into form, revealing that they're full sets of pristine Angel Wings.

Nobert's mouth is agape. "Oh. Shit. Nice." He looks at the Wings pensively. "Hmm...these kinda cramp my style. You got any cooler looking Wings? Maybe something like yours?"

The Dragon sighs. "Y'all are a picky bunch. Damn." He snaps again, transforming Nobert's wings into a pair of obsidian-black scaly reptilian-style Dragon Wings.

Nobert - [ Dragon Wings acquired. ]
Evi - [ Angel Wings acquired. Free space granted to accomodate for full memory. ]
You - [ Angel Wings acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

Evi lets go of you and stands up straight, crossing her arms and glaring at the Dragon.

He grins awkwardly. "Right right, you damn sword slut. Here." He snaps, materializing a black, demonic-looking sword in front of her.

Her eyes sparkle and drool drips out from her mouth. "My..." she yanks it out of the air. "My love! You've returned to me!" She instinctively tries to run her finger through the edge again, but the X-shaped wound that was there suddenly erupts in black flames the moment it gets close to the blade. She blinks in surprise, then tries to pixelize it into her inventory, but nothing happens.

She pouts and walks over to Nobert. "Dangit. My inventory's full. Mind holdin' onto her for me?"

Nobert gives her the unnatural smile once again. "Aww, thank you for the free sword Erica!" He yanks it off her hands and pixelizes it. "What a great pal you are!--"

She death-grips his wrist and looks at him with cold, bloodshot eyes. "You are in possession of my wife right now. If you do anything at all to her, I will sacrifice your blood to her."

He gulps and nods silently.

She lets go and smiles again. "Thanks Nobrain! You're the best!"

The Dragon taps his foot. "Alright, y'all done now? Great! Now get the fuck out. Y'all are banned from here, ya hear?!" With that, he snaps once again.

Your vision gets engulfed by white light, then it clears up to the sight of the outside of the cave. A new sign has appeared in front of it: [ NO WEENIES ALLOWED ]

You see the other two with you, dusting off their clothes.
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

In the next second, all you hear is the reverberating sound of the dice clacking against the table. You slowly open your eyes to the Dragon grinning smugly once again.

"Aww, snake eyes again," the Dragon says while doing a mocking crying gesture. "Boohoo. You guys got one more shot." He slides it back to your side. "Better make it count. Hahahaha!"

[ Focus: 20% ]

You fall to your knees. "I'm a failure...I've doomed us all..."

Nobert looks at you with concern. "Don't worry about it, okay?! Just try again! We'll do what we do best!--"

The Dragon roars with flames. "No. Fuck these distractions, dudes!" He waves his hand, making a HUD panel appear above him: [ 1:00 ]
"If you don't roll within the next minute, I'll consider it your loss!"

You look away from them. "Just...just roll it. Please."

Evi turns around to look at you and stomps her foot. "Dani! Don't be like this! I know dang well you can do this!"

You stay silent while looking to the ground.

She grits her teeth and turns back to the table, yanking the dice.

The Dragon yawns. "30 seconds, brothas."

Her hand shakes with tension, firmly holding onto the dice. She turns around once more. "Dani!! C'mon!!--"

A moment of silence ensues. Well, not complete silence, but rather the sloppy wet sound of a soaked mop being dragged by Zombradley as he walks between you and Evi. "Guhhh....w..wedd...floor..." he mumbles.

[ 0:10 ]

Evi nearly crushes the dice with how tightened her fist is. She runs up and yanks the collar of Zombradley's shirt. "Are ya flippin serious right now?! You punk! I'm tryna have a moment here!! I'M ABOUT TO BECOME ONE OF YOU DAMMIT!" She shakes Zombradley around violently. "AND YOU HAVE THE FLIPPIN AUDACITY TO--"

Amidst the scuffle, Evi slips on the wet floor, sending the dice upwards and sending her stumbling towards you.

You look forward again to see what's happening, only to suddenly have your vision obstructed by...Evi's eyes?
You feel a soft sensation on your lips for a brief moment, then that same soft sensation slides down your cheek as Evi finishes her stumbling, leaving her lying face-down next to you. Your face glows with immense red as your mind becomes completely blank.

[ Focus: 100% ]
[ 0:05 ]

The only thing moving now is the dice in the air, which is what your eyes instinctually zero into.

[ Overwrite: Overflow activated. ]

This time, you're surrounded by nothing but white. No 0's or 1's. No timer. Just you and the dice.

In this moment, there's only one thing you're set on doing: Hacking this bitch.

The code panel appears before you once again, still jumbled from encryption. You open up another panel to start programming once more.

Your breathing becomes more and more intense, with the typos starting to show up.

You exhale slowly to re-stabilize yourself. "For...the party...."

The program is finished. You try to get it running, but it's exhibiting errors.

"NO!! Please, I--" You slap yourself before you freak out any further. Another deep breath. "For...your friends."

You look carefully at your program until you finally find the culprit; a fucking missing semicolon. Goddamn amateur hour.

You run it once again, this time without any errors. Nothing eventful happens for a while, leaving you trapped with your own anxious thoughts. Is this really gonna work? How long will you have to wait? Did you just trap yourself here for all of eternity? What if--

The code panel changes itself. It looks like something coherent to you once again.
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

shoutout to @Kircheis and @0AbsoluteZero0 for being very engaged with this, you tha real homies

>Dani: Do the thing where you hack the dice

You hesitate for a bit, then finally decide to speak up. "I'll...I'll win this for us. However, I require time to focus, so please buy it for me."

Evi looks at you with doubt. "Are you sure? I was expectin' your wizard stuff like, a roll ago--"
Nobert flicks her in the forehead. "Asshole. Didn't you say you trusted her? Get your ass ready for distracting already."

Evi pouts for a bit, then apologetically smiles at you before looking back at the Dragon. "Heyooo! So. Hypothetically, what kind of girth can I expect from your version of the sword--"

The Dragon facepalms. "Fucking...not this shit again."

You take a deep breath and begin to psyche yourself up with your eyes closed
[ Focus: 10% ]

You can do this. It's no different from any other game.
[ Focus: 20% ]

Uh. Probably. Fuck, there sure is a lot at stake here.
[ Focus: 15% ]

Why the hell did you wager your own souls immediately? Are you a new breed of dumbass?
[ Focus: 10% ]

You open your eyes to re-orient your thoughts. You immediately see Evi stomping.

"The heck d'ya mean the sword doesn't have a fuller?!" Evi screams at the Dragon. "What is this, the 14th century? Is your blacksmith dying of the flippin' plague?!"

The Dragon looks like he's being backed into a corner mentally. "I, uh, look, I've only seen it once okay? Some lady tried to sell it to me and--"

Evi continues her verbal assault. "That ain't an excuse! That sword goes for like a hundred thousand Icas and I'm pretty sure these flippin' chips o'yours can fetch much more than that! Yank it from her if you gotta!"

He scratches the back of his head. "Well, see, she'd probably kill me if I--"

Evi just glares at him.

You let out a gentle sigh. She's trying so hard for you. You definitely can't let this go to waste.

>Nobert:

You know damn well this isn't her trying hard to help Dani. You look away from the mental carnage of the scene as Evi lets out the wrath of her inner sword-fucker.

>Dani:

You take another deep breath.
...For some reason, it's kinda hard to focus.

[ Focus: 10% ]

And for some other reason, Evi's smile pops into your thoughts.

[ Focus: 50% ]

What the fuck are you thinking about, you fucking virgin wizard?!
Your eyes jolt open, and you meet eyes with Nobert. You nod at him.

He nods back and throws the dice into the air.

The Dragon wipes the sweat off his forehead. "Oh thank fuck, we're finally playing some craps babey!"

Evi grumbles and continues to glare at the Dragon, causing him to laugh awkwardly and look away.

The dice reaches its apex. Your eyes dilate as you zero in your vision on nothing but the dice.

[ Overwrite activated. ]

Everything turns black again, with walls of 1's and 0's surround you and the dice. The panels appear once again, and the 30 second timer starts to count down now.

You scroll through the code once again and attempt to repeat the process as last time.
Except...none of this code makes sense. It's all jumbled garbage to you.

Your eyes widen. "E...encryption?! Does...does the Dragon know about me?"

20 seconds left. You open up a new panel and attempt to program something to break through this, but your typing is too unstable; you keep making typos and your fingers keep slipping off the keyboard panel. There's no way in hell you could possibly make this happen in 20 seconds.

5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

You close your eyes.
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

Evi: Request the Cursed Sword of Ba'al

You shove the other two aside and stare at the Dragon with twinkling eyes. "I! Really want!! The Cursed Sword of Ba'al. Thank you."

The Dragon looks up in thought for a bit, then nods. "Alright, cool. Let's go play some craps then!"

With that, a craps table emerges from the ground between you and the Dragon, only this table's completely dyed in crimson compared to the green of the other tables around you.

Dani stands with overbearing confidence. "Bring on the dice!"

He grins and materializes a pair of obsidian-black dice. "I'm feeling pretty damn generous today. How's this sound; I'll give you three rolls to roll just a single seven." He slides the dice over to Dani. "Good luck."

Nobert stands next to Dani. "I got a bad feeling about this game. Are you sure we got this?"

Dani holds the dice with shaky hands. "Oh, uh, yes! Absolutely. Uh, I, uh, was hoping I'd be using the same dice as the ones back at the table."

You stand on the other side of her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Well, it was one heck of an adventure with you guys. Tell my motorcycle I love her."

Her hand continues to shake.

Nobert yanks the dice and stares down the Dragon. "Fuck that noise. We got three tries." He tosses them into the air. "It's not hard to get lucky!"

The Dragon flashes a grin just before the dice hits the table.

Snake eyes.

The three of you can't help but feel the heavy judgement coming from the dice.
Suddenly, a prompt appears above it: [ Examine: Loaded Dice ]

Your eyes widen. As you slowly look back up to the Dragon, you meet his shit-eating grin with your own scowl. "You're flippin' cheatin'!! Let us use normal ol' dice!"

He lets out a mischievous laugh. "Cheating? Brothas, I don't recall you guys saying anything about what kind of dice to roll. All I heard was that I'll be seeing a 7 here." He slides them back to you, still grinning. "So let's see it."

You stomp wildly, then yank the other two into a huddle. "What are we gonna do now?!"

Nobert sighs. "I don't fucking know. We're being conned here."

You pout. "Yeah, no duh genius!" You glance at the Dragon, then back to your group. "I just thoughta somethin'. He just expects a 7 right? At this point, it ain't even craps. We just gotta con him back!"

Nobert flashes an unnatural smile. "I love this plan! It was so simple this whole time!" He then droops it back. "I'mma go befriend Zombradley now so I can get a head start on zombiehood. Have fun--"

You yank him back into the huddle before he could move another muscle.

Dani brings her arms in, lessening her presence.

What will you guys do?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

safety safety bump
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Dani: Ask about weapons

You stand with confidence once more. "Dragon! I wish to also bet my Soul Chips for tools of battle."

He scratches his head. "Uhhh, you mean, like, a weapon, right?"

You nod.

He puts a hand on his chin. "Hmm, alright. Well, you could play for a decent weapon for all three of you, or a super rad weapon for just one of you."

What shall you choose? (You can also be specific about the kind of weapon[s] you want)
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Dani: Craps, Sevens, Wings, Freedom, Souls

You stand tall in front of Nobert before he could say anything, with your hands on your hips. "I shall best you myself in a game of craps!"

The Dragon snarls. "You're pretty confident, aintcha?"

You smile smugly. "Incredibly confident! In fact, I shall guarantee this: I will roll three 7's in a row. When you see that, hand over three pairs of Wings, as well as our freedom! If that doesn't happen, you can have our souls. Not that I see that happening!--"

Nobert and Evi pull you back. Evi in particular gets in your face. "Are. Ya. Crazy?! You won a thousand of these chips and you're not even gonna use them?! You're just gonna throw away our souls off the bat?!"

Nobert nods. "Yeah, agreed. This is a pretty dumb idea even if you got wizard bullshit on your side."

You turn very red. "D...do you not trust me?"

Evi flicks you in the forehead. "Course we do!"

Nobert raises his hand. "I don't."

She glares at him. "He's dumb too. Look, it's just really flippin' stupid to be riskin' this much all willy-nilly. Plus, it'd be such a waste not t'use all these chips!"

The Dragon clears his throat. "Ahem. So uh, bros, are we playing craps or what?"

What do (any of) you say?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

up
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

3 and 4.

"Ouuhugh," says the dealer. He then slides you 10 chips.

Fuck. Yes. Your face breaks into joy as you jump in victory.

A new meter appears on your HUD just under your HP and SP: [ Focus: 0% ]
[ New skill unlocked: Overwrite (Any, useable at 30% Focus, Hack any small object within 30 seconds) ]

You're back to 100 chips. However, you're not sure if that will work again. Well, you're slightly sure. You set the value to never change after all.
Still, you bet 10 chips again just to play it safe. The dice are in your hands again.
Throwing them up, you watch as they slowly land...

>Nobert (and Evi): Continue distracting

You hold Evi in front of you. "Okay, what about...what if, uh, what if this one was a vampire! How many of her would it take?"

The Dragon blinks as eyebags start to form. "Shit dude, I dunno. Do vampires even have souls?"

Evi breaks away from you. "No no, I think you're thinkin' of a different guy. Vampires take blood!"

He snarls. "I'll be taking blood real soon if you don't stop with this bullshit."

"What about these?!" Dani yells as she returns with her arms spread out. After a few seconds, an entire pile of Soul Chips rain down from a pixel cloud.

The Dragon slowly takes off his aviators. "What. The. Hell."

Your jaw drops, as does Evi's.
She runs up to the pile and dives in it. "Holy smokes Dani, you did amazin'!"

Dani gets a little red. "T...t'was nothing at all! All falls before me, even the gods of luck!"

You walk up to the pile and sift them through your hands. "Damn, how much did you get?"

She checkmarks her chin. "Oh, nothing too grandiose. I merely won 1,000 before they forced me to leave."

The Dragon's jaw drops. "A fucking thousand?! Shit!"

Dani puts her hands to her hips. "Bestow upon us your Wings at once!"

He puts his aviators back on and snarls. "Well, you certainly got a lot of goods, sis, but remember, this is just for betting! You still have to play against me!--"

Evi taps on his foot casually. "So, uh, heya. What could we get with 700 of these?"

He rubs his chin pensively. "Hmmm, shit dude, I dunno. You name it. 700 will probably cover it. Probably." He snarls again. "So! Name your game and your prize!"

What do you say?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Dani: Keep trying

Third time's a charm. You materialize 10 more chips after a bit of waiting and slap them on the pass line.

The dealer slides you the dice.

You firmly grasp them in your hand. Were your calculations incorrect before? Is going for the best possible outcome perhaps too infeasible? Should you just find a method instead with an optimal amount of estimated value?
Your hand shakes. You can't do this. You can't do this. It's impossible--

The Dragon roars with flames bellowing out of his mouth. "Hoooooly shit. LOOK. Even if you DO carve that twig into a fuckin' rad vampire-hunting stake, that won't make it more valuable!"

Evi twirls the stick around. "Okay but what if weee carved it into a, uh, a basketball!"

The Dragon massages his temples. "That thing's not even shaped like a ball. At all."

Nobert chimes in. "How about a bunch of tiny wooden basketballs."
Evi's eyes light up. "Vampire-hunting wooden basketballs!"

The Dragon sighs.

You take a deep breath. The other two are trying their best. You can't afford to let their efforts go to waste.
You close your eyes to focus. The shaking in your hand lessens as you clear your mind. This is just a game, like any other. As an internet-reknown speedrunner, you just have to know how to break it.
Your eyes open as you wear nothing but intense concentration on your face. You inhale and hold your breath, readying Word of Power. Looking at the exact spot where the dice's apex will be, you throw them out.
The moment it reaches the very spot your have your sights on, time stops.

A prompts appears: [ Hack ]

Without a second thought, you focus on the prompt to activate it.
Upon doing so, everything turns black, leaving only you and the dice in sight.
0's and 1's surround you like a tornado, then a bunch of HUD panels appear before you showing line after line of letters and numbers, along with another panel that shows a timer counting down from 30 seconds.

You're taken aback by all this happening at once, but you can't afford to lose your concentration now. You inspect the panel with lines of code closely. You grin with the realization that it's just a bunch of hexidecimal, and crack your knuckles.

25 seconds left. All the hexidecimal looks meaningless to you; you don't have a point of reference to experiment with. At this rate, you won't be able to narrow down the address you need.

You stare blankly in front as you think about all your options.

15 seconds left. You come to a realization. The dice in front of you is spinning slowly in place. In other words, it's changing its value constantly. You stare holes through it as you note what numbers you can see, then compare it to the code. You can feel sweat running down the side of your face and your breathing getting more and more labored as you flip your vision between the dice and the code at breakneck speeds.

7 seconds left. You found the address you need and jab your finger on the panel immediately, forcing out a keyboard panel. You then erase it and replace it with 03 and 04--the 7 roll that you need.
You nearly let out a sigh of relief that you got it, but you see that the numbers are still changing. Shit.

3 seconds left. You managed to find the read-only flag.
2 seconds. You select it and start changing the values.
1 second. The flag's on and you get the dice back to what you wanted.

"Tremble before..." you wind up your finger like you're about to unleash a special attack, "my wizardry!"
You scream as you spear your finger right through the enter key.

The dice stop spinning.

0 seconds left. The panels disappear along with the tornado of 0's and 1's. Your surroundings then return to normal, and the dice fall into place.
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Dani: Play Craps and use Word of Power to cheat

You motion at the other two to huddle up, which you guys do. You get a little red from being in close proximity to them, but you suck it up. "Hand me your Soul Chips brethren," you whisper, "I shall use my great wizardly powers to amass us endless wealth! However, I require that you draw the Dragon's attention away from me."

Evi grins. "Distractin's our middle name!"

Nobert looks at her weirdly. "I don't think I wanna share any names with you."

[ 70 Soul Chips acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

>Nobert (and Evi): Distract the Dragon

The two of you walk up to the Dragon. You cross your arms and look up him with exaggerated curiosity. "So, run by me one more time how many Soul Chips it'll take to get a pair of Wings?"

The Dragon adjusts his glasses. "Man, you better listen up cuz I don't like repeating myself. It'll take you 100 Soul Chips!"

You scratch your head. "Okay, soooooo how many of us would it take for Wings again?"

He sighs. "The three of you."

Evi catches on and materializes a Broken Twig. "Oh oh! How about this stuff? How many for some Wings?"

The Dragon looks at it pensively. "Hmm, I mean, it seems like a pretty shoddy-looking stick to me but it feels kinda special. Hmm..."

>Dani: Showtime

You walk up to the craps table and lock eyes with the dealer, who looks just like all these other zombies except he has a pretty slick moustache. Around you are a few other zombies watching but they don't seem to be playing.

He slides a pair of dice in the middle for you.

You take a deep breath since you only kind of know how to play this game through shitty flash games online. Just gotta roll a 7 or an 11 to win, you think to yourself.

You materialize 10 chips, which take a few seconds to show up, then you slap them on the pass line.
With the dice in hand, you quickly fire up all the neurons in your head to see the proper angular momentum and trajectory that the dice must travel in to land on the rolls you want.

You have a somewhat solid idea of what to do and throw it out with a smug face. "I think I'm feeling..." you inhale, then unleash the Word of Power, "LUCKY!!"
A great gust of wind blasts away everything on the table, sending the dice and the chips flying.

SP [ 60% ]

You stand dumbfounded, then nervously look at the Dragon. Fortunately, he is busy getting pissed at the other two.
You severely underestimated how strong that would be.
You try to play it cool and checkmark your chin. "Haha, that was quite the, uh, breeze! Quite the lively weather we're having, right gentlemen?"

The dealer scratches his head. "Uohgh?"

Zombradley walks by and returns the items to the table.

The dealer shrugs and slides the dice and the chips to you again.

Alright, you try this again. 10 chips on the pass line. You have the hypothetical physics down. You just have to somehow get your motor functions to comply.
You throw out the dice into the air and ready the Word of Power, but this time you focus on controlling it.
"I think today is a good day for a..." you soften your voice, "...seven."

Another blast of wind shoots out of your mouth, but only about half as intense as the last one. The dice are blown forward towards the edge of the table, then hits the rim to bounce back to the middle. The pair totals to a 3--a losing roll.

SP [ 50% ]

"Guh...rrrahps," the dealer mutters while grabbing the chips off the table.

Shit. This is going well.
Will you keep trying? Or will you try something else?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

up, will update when i wake up hopefully
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Nob: Ask how much for 3 sets of Wings

You materialize a Soul Chip in your hand. "How many of these will it take to get 3 sets of Wings?"

The Dragon adjusts his aviators. "Ooh, got some goods already huh? Let's see...it'll take you a hundred of those for each pair 'o Wings.

"Aw heck, we can only get one then," says Evi as she stumbles back next to you guys, then stands with shaky legs. "Anythin' else we can use?"
Peon flies into the gap within her hood and hides there. Not a single word from him.

He fiddles around with the cards. "Well, you could play around the Casino and bet 'em, maybe you'll win big! If you got Icas, I'll take 20000 of 'em for a pair. Or..." he flips the card, revealing a joker. "...you can wager your own soul. Y'all are pretty low-levelled, so it'll take all three of yous to get a pair."

You gulp.

Dani taps you on the back, having you look behind. She looks away the moment you make eye contact. "Ah...don't, um, forget. We have two Wing Fragments we can use. We simply require one more for a set."

The Dragon gestures at his ears. "Oho, y'all need Wing Fragments too? Exchange rates are 40 Chips, 8000 Icas, or...one of yous for a lil feather. Sounds fair, yeah?"

Evi shakes a little more, then books it back to the entrance. "Yain't getting my soul today!"
Her nose quickly meets the cold, hard impact of large golden doors shut tightly in front of her. She falls with stars orbiting her face. "Okay, y'might be getting my soul today."

The Dragon chuckles. "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I'll throw in a freebie! You can get your freedom too! Ain't this such a fantastic deal?"

Your brow tenses up. "What happens if we lose our soul?"

He laughs. "Many great benefits, brotha! You get life insurance, death insurance, undeath insurance, medical insurance, maternal leave, and...uh, I'm probably forgetting something."

A zombie dragging a mop walks in front of the Dragon casually.

He snarls with fire. "ZOMBRADLEY!"

Zombradley looks up with a blank stare. "Ouh?"

He crosses his arms. "What. Do you think you are doing."

Zombradley scratches his head. "Euoh."

He digs his claw into Zombradley slightly. "That's right, you forgot the wet floor sign. ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US SUED ZOMBRADLEY?!"

Zombradley shrugs.

He sighs and drags Zombradley off to the side, then evaporates the floor puddle with a breath of fire. He then pounds his fist into his palm with a face of eureka. "Oh yeah, you turn into one of these undead dumbasses, that's what I was forgetting!"

>Zombradley: Enter the plot

You have tripped and are stuck in your mop bucket. Perhaps the plot is not ready for you yet.

>Nob: Resume the plot

You feel Evi clutching onto your leg.

"This is definitely the worst zombie apocalypse ever," she says with tears forming in her eyes. "I can't believe my dreampocalypse just got crushed by the greed of man enslaving souls away in eternal avarice."

You shake Evi off. "Okay, I think Dani's rubbing off of you too much."

What do you do/say to the Dragon?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

Lmao ikr, this is E. to waluigi levels of lame and the last time I'll take low-effort troll posts

>Evi: [Redacted]

You're anything but turned on by this situation.

>Evi (and Dani): Continue the killing

You hold your knives firmly and run up to another zombie in front of you. "We just gotta mow down this mess in front of us 'fore we get taken from behind!" you say as you crack open the zombie's head.

Dani swishes her spwand, setting the back zombies ablaze.
Dani: SP [ 70% ]
They slowly wither away without any resistance, just like the zombies you've been bashing.

Nobert puts away his spear. "This is getting us nowhere. Didn't you notice? This isn't a simu-scuffle."

Evi blinks a few times.
Dani turns red, adjusting her invisible glasses. "Hahaha, you've done well! I too have r-realized this! Absolutely."

>Nobert: Loot the zombies.

You walk up to one of the corpses and think about plundering it. "Might as well check if they got anything on them."
A prompt appears: [ Loot ]
Focusing on it, a glowing cyan...poker chip pixelizes into view.

[ Soul Chip x2 acquired. ]

The other two get surprised by this and loot the other bodies too.
A bit more looting nets you a total of 40 chips.
Evi gets 30 before her inventory is filled. She holds a pair on her eyes. "Hey guys lookit, I'm the real Ghost Rider now!"

Dani also gets 30, holding one out like a yugioh card. "These undead scums might just be denizens of the shadow realm."

You look at the both of them with a deadpan face. "You. Are both nerds."

>Nob: Keep following them

The three of you proceed cautiously, except for Evi who looks ever so bored with her arms resting behind her head.
She whistles the theme. "This is the laaaamest zombie attack ever."

You yank Evi's hood over her eyes while grinning. "Weren't you scared like a lil bitch?"

She pouts while throwing her hood up. "I was tryna get the mood goin'! Man, this is like waitin' in line for a Halloween ride and findin' out it's just a merry-go-round but painted black. I want my money back!"

The two of you stop in your tracks. You look straight up. "Money's the last of our problems."

Evi keeps walking, looking behind to you. "What are you on about--" she bumps against something scaly and huge. Looking up, her jaw drops.

The large green dragon glares down the three of you, then flashes its large fangs with a grin. "Welcome to the Dragon Casino, brothas!" he says as he spreads his spiky arms out, drawing attention to his bright, goldly lit surroundings.
Stacks of Icas line the walls, with slot machines and card game tables lining up the place. They're all occupied by the zombies you saw, mindlessly throwing cards and dice down.

Dani crosses her arms and hunches over. "What is this...establishment?"

The dragon sniffs. "I just told you, the Dragon Casino." He taps her head with a claw as large as it. "Try to keep up." He stands tall, like a biped with wings and a long neck. While this can also describe a flamingo, this is in fact a dragon. "So. Let me guess. You shits want Wings, yeah?"

You nod, not really able to muster any words.

He grins and puts on a pair of aviators. "Bitchin. So here's the deal. If y'all fight me, ehhh y'all are prolly gonna die. So lemme level the playing field a little!" He pixelizes some cards, dice, chess pieces, and tennis balls, among other things. "You're free to PLAY for your Wings. Any game, you name it! Doesn't even have to use any of this junk here. But you gotta wager something good too."

What do you say?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Evi: Strip

You put down your hood.

>Dani: Set the zombies on fire

You sigh and materialize your spwand. "Fine, I suppose we musn't risk any chances."
With a swish, you set a bunch of zombies ahead aflame.

SP [ 85% ]

They continue walking, not really paying any mind to their new coats of fire.

>Evi (And Nobert): Crack their heads open

"We ain't gonna get anywhere like that!" you say while twirling your knives, and run at one of them at full speed, then drive your knife right into the back of its skull.

Nobert sighs and materializes his spear to lance down one of the other zombies.

Despite having an entire knife in its head, your zombie continues to walk, dragging you along.

You pout and force the knife up with a scream, completely splitting its head open.

It falls down, still vivaciously trying to crawl forward, but ultimately stops moving.

You shake the blood off your knife. "What the hell are these things? They're beyond zombies!"

Nobert pierces away a zombie's head, but the same thing happens; it desperately tries to crawl ahead before really dying.

The two of you look at each other with slight disgust.

The darkness up ahead starts to show a faint, golden light.

Dani catches up to both of you, shining the torch behind you. "They have emerged behind us as well."

Surely enough, there's more zombies to be seen, mindlessly walking forward and not really caring that you guys are there.

What do you guys do now?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

Nobert presses down on the top of Evi's head while smiling eerily. "Haha, oh silly Annielee, are you by chance bothering our NEW FRIEND?"

Evi returns the hollow smile while death-gripping his wrist. "Ohoho, I would NEVER! I simply just," she twists his wrist, "LOVE all of my FRIENDS so MUCH!" she says, harshening the twist with every emphasis.

You stop walking. "Halt! Both of you, look up ahead!"

Your light shines upon some humanoid figures slouching and walking slowly away, towards the same way you're headed.

Evi's twisting becomes exaggerated. "OHOHO SIRE NOBRAIN I DO BELIEVE WE SHOULD, HOW THE COMMONFOLK SAY, RUNNETH THE HELL AWAY--"

Nobert covers her mouth. "Quiet you dumbass, we don't wanna be detected by whatever these things are."

The three of you slowly approach the figures. Their features become more and more distinguishable, revealing a severe lack of hair and...very formal clothing? They're wearing three-piece suits and office-wear. You're also able to now hear low moans coming from them, almost like...

"ZOMBIES!" screams Evi while nearly snapping Nobert's wrist.

Oddly enough, the supposed zombies don't seem to be affected by Evi's outburst as they continue to walk ahead.

You squint at them. "Are they perhaps not hostile?"

Evi lets go of his wrist and materializes her knives. "Are we perhaps ABOUT T'REALLY TEST THAT OUT?! They're flippin' zombies!"

They remain unfazed by Evi's shouting.

What shall you guys do?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Dani: Light the way

You stand with utmost confidence. "We have no need of trifle vehicles. We were born as bipeds, after all! We must--"

HONK. You jump from the sudden noise.

Evi giggles. "I always wanted to try that."

You fake-cough. "We shall venture forth--"

HONK

Your grind your teeth a little. "Venture--"

HONK. Evi can't contain her laughter.

Nobert gets off the bike and exhales. "Can we please just go."

Evi's laughter freezes. "In...the darkness?"

You materialize the lighter...5 seconds later, much to your dismay. "Of course not, silly. Uh, have you any sticks of any sort that I can light? I know you have a pair in your inventory."

She hops off the motorcycle and materializes one of the [Broken Twig]s. "Sure, take one. Not like they'll be any useful later."

Upon closer inspection, it looks like a normal stick, but something feels off just holding it. You think nothing of it and while any sane person would simply light this with the lighter in your hand, you are anything but sane.

>Combine Twig and lighter.

[ Broken Twig + Hello Kitty Lighter = Something Ominous ]
[ Cost: 100 Icas ]
[ Alchemizing... ]
[ Combination complete. (0 Icas left) ]
[ Hello Darkness (Cast) acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

The stick gets dyed ash-black, then immediately erupts into a giant burst of purple flames out of your hand, before it shrinks into a steady yet still sizable and still purple flame shaped like a cat.

[ New skill learned - Flaredark (Cast, 20%SP: Explode a medium area with a very potent flame that can't be extinguished by ordinary means) ]

The other two blink in surprise. Evi speaks up. "What in literal blazes was that?!"

You move the torch to your other hand while shaking the previous hand since that was extremely hot, but then you quickly regain your composure and laugh heartily. "Tremble before my wizardly powers! Darkness beware, I--"

Nobert taps your shoulder as he walks past you. Evi slaps you on the back as she follows behind him.

You sigh and follow behind as well.

Walking ensues for quite a while with absolutely nothing eventful happening.

Nobert breaks the ice. "So, uh, Dani, yeah? You seem to know a lot about the game. Didn't you also say you could just walk us through to the next stage?"

You look at him but find that you can't retain eye contact. "Oh, yes! About that, we're already where I was going to guide both of you. Wing Fragments will be of no trouble once we are through with this." You checkmark your chin. "Heh, this dragon up ahead will prove to be formidable, but not enough to faze--"

Evi slaps you on the back with a smile. "Thanks for teleportin' us out here! Real big help!"

You jump away with flushed cheeks. "T...too close!"
A black butterfly whizzes around your face, then lands on your head.

Evi giggles. "Aw, Peon says he likes you."

You raise an eyebrow. "You can...understand this tiny familiar?"

She nods. "Yeah, he says a lot of funny things but it gets annoying so I just ignore 'im for the most part. Like just now, he said somethin' 'bout you and 'im being kindred spirits of darkness or whatever but that's too many words. So I'll assume that he just likes you!"

The butterfly flies around aggressively for a moment then lands on you again.

You raise your head proudly. "Hm hm! An inhabitant of the darkness...this familiar fancies my interest. I will allow it to grace my head."

She pokes your cheek. "You talk funny too."

You jump back again. "Ah...please, not too close!"
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

qq
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

Up
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

You put your hands on your hips, standing tall like a superhero. "Yet another insolent assumption! Only a fool would be careless enough to not keep their online and offline personas separate!" you say with bravado, but you'd rather die than admit you're just a lot less awkward online.

EdgemasterX blinks a few times. "Hey, who's the weirdo?"

He shrugs. "Uh, a friend I guess? She helped me through the beginning and told me all about the game."

She nods fervently. "Ah. Gotcha. It's like that. Hm." Her jaw drops. "Wait, YOU'RE Satellyte?!"

You point all five of your fingers at them while covering one of your eyes menacingly. "That's right, tis I, Dani Satellyte, that have guided you both to this very point! No need to thank me, your faces of gratitude are enough--"

Nopants has already hopped on the motorcycle. "I take it back, she might be a zombie."

EdgemasterX revs up the bike.

You put your hands in a prayer and bow. "Sorry. Please don't kill me."

She stops revving the bike. "Haha, we're just joshin' ya!" She lets out one more rev. "Probably."

He shoves her aside. "So, do you always talk like this?"

You checkmark your chin once again. "Oh? Does my sheer aura instill awe within you--"

Vroom.

You bow again. "Sorry. I, uh, I'm just not very good at talking."

He sighs tiredly. "Well, Dani, nice to meet you. I'm Nobert, and this," you continue fighting Evi's resistance against your hand, "is Amy."

She overcomes your hand. "It's Evi, ya numbskull!" She pauses for a bit, then looks at him with surprise. "Nobert! That's you're flippin' name! Man, I thought I'd never figure it out."

You do a curtsey, like those weird posh anime victorian wannabes. "Pleased to make your acquaintace, fellow party members."

They both blink. Nobert speaks up. "Uh, party members?"

"Yes, party members." You put the back of your hand under your chin like a princess. "I mentioned it before when we first chatted, did I not?"

He looks at his laptop again. "Oh yeah. So you did. Welp, hop in I guess. We got a dragon to plunder."

Evi looks back at him with a forced smile again. "Oh, Sir Nobrain. You are most silly!"

He returns the forced smile. "Haha, whatever do you mean Kennedy?"

She laughs without moving her mouth. "Oh, it's nothin'! Haha, it's okay to be as much of an idiot as you are! I forgive you for not seein' we can't possibly fit three people on this ride."

He shakes her, still keeping his deadshot smile. "Haha, oh yes, silly me!" The shaking intensifies. "I'm SUCH an IDIOT after all!"

She starts to get dizzy. "Eugh, alright, uncle, uncle!" The shaking stops, and she reorients herself. "Still, how are we gonna do this?"

How shall the three of your proceed?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Dani: Use some healing item

You sigh and cross your arms. "Okay, well, you know how undead monsters in games take damage from healing? If you give me a healing item and I die from it, there's your proof."

EdgemasterX looks over to Nopants excitedly. "Oh yeah! This zombie's pretty smart. Well you heard her, give up the potion!"

Nopants wears a very forced smile. "Alright. So. You're not gonna like this."

She pouts. "I already don't like that tone of yours. What's the hold up?!"

He holds out his hands, revealing nothing but bare air. "Here's your potion."

She lets out an equally forced smile. "Hm. So. I have a question."

He tilts his head. "Yes?"

"Where's the potion?"

"Whatever do you mean? It's right here."

Her smile starts to crack. "Oh, lovely...! Dearie me, I must be getting old. Uh, I don't think I see a potion."

He exaggerates his empty hands, still keeping his robotic jovial expression. "Oh, silly granny! That's right! You DRANK the potion because a certain SOMEONE decided to be a DUMBASS and recklessly charge at a bear!"

She laughs without moving her mouth. "Oh dearie! Now whoever could be foolish enough to--"

He runs up to Evi and shakes her. "Holy SHIT can we PLEASE just let her go she's CLEARLY not a zombie."

>Point out that zombies don't usually talk to people and why should I prove that I'm not a zombie when they can't prove that I am a zombie.

You brush off dust from your pajamas. "Yes, please listen to the sensible disco man here." You adjust your nonexistent glasses, similar to the manner you see in anime all the time. "Besides, if I truly were a zombie, would I be able to..." you point your finger at her grandiosely, "...talk to people?!"

Your voice echoes throughout the cave.

She lets out a gasp and staggers back as if you just shoved her. "Oh heck, have I been wrong this entire time?!"

Nopants facepalms.

You let the imaginary breeze blow your hair back menacingly. "Not only that! Why should I prove I'm not a zombie..." you point all five of your fingers at her, "...when you can't prove I am a zombie?!"

She falls on her back from the force of your words. "Holy smokes! This zombie's tougher than I thought!"

"Heh," you say, turning your back on her and adjusting your imaginary anime glasses once more. Holy shit you're too much of a weaboo to be socializing with other people irl.

Nopants helps her up. "So, we done being dumb yet?"

She pouts and walks back to the motorcycle. "Fine. But if we get bitten, I flippin' called it."

You turn around again, defeating the purpose of you turning back in the first place. You then whip your left arm outwards, as though you were unveiling an imaginary cape. "Greetings, nopants!"

He looks at you with a very confused and slightly fearful face. "Uh..."

You make a checkmark on your chin with your thumb and pointer. "Heh. I'll forgive you for your insolence. After all," you repeat the cape-flipping motion, "you stand before the great Satellyte!"

He pauses with a blank face. Shortly after, he materializes a laptop, glances at it, then back at you. "Wait, seriously? Shit dude, I thought you were a dude. Hell, you don't even talk like you do online."
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Nobert: Scratch thine scrote, among other things

Well, you certainly feel an itch down there thanks to the terrible material of your disco pants, but that's the least of your worries.

>Poke girl in pajamas with your foot

You get off the bike and slowly approach the girl.

She's not moving one bit.

You get close to her and poke her with your foot.

Evi screams. "Are ya crazy?!" she says while hopping off the bike and running out the cave.

The girl slowly gets up. You jump back in surprise.

She groans. "Yes...are you crazy? Running over people so casually."

Evi: bless some water and pour it on Dani. Then Nob for possibly contracting something.

You run back into the cave with hopefully-blessed-water that you found in a nearby puddle cupped in your hands. "Worry not unholy heathens! Y'all gonna get cleansed!"

You splash the water on the girl and on pants-guy.

>Nobert: Become unamused

You look at Evi, unamused.

>Dani: Become very unamused.

You look at edgemasterX, very unamused.

>Evi: Become amused.

You smile at them. "There! Now you're all safe!"

The girl lets out a very exhausted sigh. "Look, I'm not a zombie, okay?"

You raise an eyebrow at her. "Oh yeah? Prove it!"

Peon flies frantically in your face. "You foolish mortal! This one's soul is pure!--"

You swat Peon away.

What will you (Dani) do to prove you're not a zombie?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

up
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Dani: Teleport

You take one last look at this house. Even if it is just a simulated version, it still gives you some sentimental feelings.
You then take a deep breath and focus on the prompt in front of you.
The pendant pixelizes back into you, but the pixels fly all around you as you get engulfed in a blue light.

>Nobert: Teleport

You and Evi nod at each other, then you focus in on the prompt.
A blue light engulfs you both. You hold Evi tighter as she tightens her grip on the handlebars, though she uses one hand to shoo a frantic Peon off of her face.

...

The blue light fades, and your vision returns to the sight of the entrance of a...white cave? You rub your eyes to make sure you didn't just become colorblind. Yep, those are white rocks forming a cave. It looks pitch black inside, however. You look around you and see little green dots below. Oh wait, those are trees. You figure that you're on top of a mountain or something.

Evi's jaw drops. "Hey, this here's where I was gonna go t'get wings!"

You lean over to get a better view of the cave. "Linnie, those are a bunch of rocks. Not feathers."

She elbows you with a smile. "Thanks for lettin' me know, thought I didn't have eyes for a sec." Her face turns to a pout. "No ya dingus, there's some kinda dragon in there! If y'can rip off its wings, you can put em on and head straight to the sky!"

You grimace a bit. "Oof, that sounds great but kinda hardcore."

She revs up the bike. "I'll take hardcore over stayin' here."

With that, the two of you begin to rush into the cave, only for blue light to flash above you as something crashes from the sky and gets rammed by the bike.

In the next moment, all you see is a young girl in her pajamas being flung a few feet in front of you while the sound of screeching tires echo out of the cave walls.

You shake Evi. "Oh shit, I think you just killed someone!"

Her teeth clatter. "I can't afford t'go to prison! They don't got blades there!"

"Sally there are two problems with those words," you say while looking around to see if anyone saw that, "One, that's real adorable that you think prison doesn't have any blades, and two, we can probably just book it and no one'll suspect it was us."

She revs up the bike again. "Great idea! Time to--"

The girl groans softly and starts to get up.

You let out a breath of relief. "Oh thank god, she's not dead--"

Evi screams. "HOLY SMOKES ITS A ZOMBIE!" she yells out as she rams the young girl again.

This time she wasn't flung as far since Evi couldn't accelerate fast enough.

You shake Evi wildly. "EVI I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO PRISON."

She turns around with a pale face. "Yeah well I don't wanna get bitten and become a zombie!"

The young girl groans once again and raises her arm weakly.

Evi screams again and reaches for the accelerator.

You slap her hand off. "Dude, will you cut that shit?!"

The girl's hand points upward as she starts to speak with a shaky voice. "Yes...please...listen to the man with a sense of--"

Evi slaps your hand away and revs up the bike. "IT'S TRYING TO NEGOTIATE!"

You jab the sides of her stomach, causing her to let go of the handlebar in surprise. "Zoey, for one second can we please try to avoid prison."

The girl's hand forms a thumbs up, then falls limp to the ground.

What do you do?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

up
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

You clutch the pendant tightly, almost crushing it as you look away from it. However, it pixelizes into your inventory instead. "Fuck off, mother," you whisper under your breath.

[ Satela Pendant acquired. Allocated to RAM. ]
[ HUD Feature unlocked: Minimap ]

A small square appears in the corner of your minimap, depicting a top view layout of the basement floor. Looks like the darkness won't be a problem now.

You ascend back to the living room, panting a bit from the battle. Your fatigue quickly goes away, however, since your HP is nearly full. It really does make you feel something far from human.
You stand before the large doors once more and materalize the pendant. Placing it into the star indentation, you see that it's a perfect fit.

The doors don't open though. Instead, a prompt appears: [ Teleport ]

What else will do you in this house?

~~~

>Nobert: Awaken

Your fantastic dream of questionable obscenities get interrupted by the roaring sound of a motorcycle revving. You get up and glare at the source with a frown.

Evi waves at you with a shit-eating grin. "C'mon ya doof, it's daytime and we got a creepy green orb t'teleport in!"

You rub your eyes and sluggishly walk over to the motorcycle, then drop your butt on the backseat.

Evi pouts. "You're gonna wanna hold on y'know."

You sigh. "Yeah yeah just go already."

She floors forward for a moment, flinging you back into the ground. She then backs up next to you. "So, d'ya want me t'keep goin'?"

You flip her off and get on properly, clutching onto her lazily. "When I get fully awake, you are so dead."

She grins and zooms ahead with the thunderous sound of her engine. A flock of birds fuck off into the sky thanks to Evi's disturbance.

The two of you arrive before the orb, still untouched and still weird as ever. The prompt appears once again: [ Teleport ]

What do you do?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Telebubble a bunch of metal pieces from broken appliances to arc electricity from sparking light socket

While Dogknob is still stunned from ramming into the wall, you take this brief opportunity to look around for other things you can use. Spotting the junk pile of broken appliances, you look back to the sparking lightbulb and at the puddle, then grin as you bubble up a bunch of metal pieces.

"Telebubble!" you yell as you swish your sporkwand around, creating an army of bubbles encasing a bunch of metal. You don't have time to count how many you got, though, since Dogknob is back on the move.

SP [ 70% ]

You jump out of the way, but only barely since you're focused on controlling the bubbles.

Fortunately for Dogknob, there isnt a wall to obstruct it this time. Unfortunately for Dogknob, as it turns around to make another charge, it slides backwards and falls on its back.

You take this moment to swish your wand and arrange the bubbled metal into a chain towards the sparking lightbulb, but you don't let it touch just yet since you don't want the bubbles popping.

Dogknob gets up and to no one's surprise, charges at you yet again.

Behind you is the puddle, with the leaking pipes to your right of the puddle. You're gonna have to be precise about this since this isn't a very effective way to get anything wet.

You're not even sure if this is gonna work. There might be too many impurities in the metal. Electric shocks need prolonged exposure to be fatal. Dogknob might not even be too conductive since you deduce that its made of brass from the brass shavings you saw upstairs and--

Dogknob's really close to you now. No time to think. You grit your teeth and get out of the way.
The moment Dogknob reaches the puddle, you let the bubble chain contact it and the sparking lightbulb.

Electricity jolts out of the lightbulb and shocks Dogknob for a moment. The bubbles pop and stop the flow of electricity, but it was enough for Dogknob to stop moving and trip into the puddle. Its body spins around since it lost traction from the puddle, then it strikes the pipes.

The pipes burst out into a cannon of water, soaking Dogknob up completely.

The victory message hasn't appeared yet. You gotta finish it quickly. You tighten the grip on your wand and scream out "Telebubble!", forming the chain once again.

SP [ 55% ]

Dogknob gets shocked once again, this time with much more power since it's completely wet.

The bubbles pop, but you quickly rebubble the chain. This is beyond inefficient, but you're beyond rationality at this point. You scream as Dogknob gets smited by the basement lights.

SP [ 30% ]
SP [ 5% ]

You keep your teeth gritted, pushing out every inch of energy you got to keep this chain going. Dogknob continues to get fried.

SP [ 0% ]

The lightbulb shorts out and leaves the room in darkness once again. All you can hear is the sound of sizzling and sparks.

The room illuminates sporadically for split seconds thanks to the occasional sparks that still come out of the shorted lightbulb. You can barely make out Dogknob being pixelized.

[ SIMU-SCUFFLE: Dogknob, WIN! ]

Dani Satellyte:
[ Affinity up! Lv 1 -> Lv 3 Clever Caster ]
[ Level up bonus: Inventory expanded! (DRIVE: +1 RAM Slot) ]
[ New Skill: Word of Power (Cast, SP10%, Description: Vibrate the air abruptly to forcefully push anything in front of you back)
[ 100 Icas get! ]
Your Icas: 100
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

bump becuase im totally updating right now
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

bump
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Lure Dogknob to the back of the basement near the gas cans

You try to run towards the behind of Dogknob, albeit not very quickly since you are far from athletic.

It growls at you as you reach its side, then starts charging at you.

You try to jump out of the way, but your body doesn't seem to want to respond. Just then, a prompt appears: [ -> ]

You focus on it, yanking your body away from Dogknob and closer to the gas cans.

It collides and dents the wall with its brass might. Reorienting itself, it faces away from you, looking for where you might be aggressively.

You take this chance to keep running to the back, finally reaching the boxes and gas cans. You smile in relief that they are, indeed, gas cans and not something else, but that smile quickly turns to surprise when you look behind you and see Dogknob charging again.
You jump out of the way while clutching one of the gas cans, watching Dogknob get itself stuck into the wall once again.

>Light those suckers

You open the cap of the gas can and throw it at Dogknob. "Flarespark!" you yell and raise up your wand while focusing on the gas cans.
A red light flashes from your wand, followed by the two gas cans igniting!
...Except, they simply let out a small burst of flames that die out quickly.
As the gas can you threw hits the floor, your eyes widen as no gasoline actually pours out.

Dogknob sweeps the can back at you as it turns around.
You were still surprised, so the can knocks you down off-guard.
Dogknob charges at you with ease, slamming you to the wall next to the pipes.
You can feel like your spine is breaking, but luckily the game prevents that. Even luckier that you didn't receive a full pipe to the back of your skull at 30 MPH. Still hurts like a bitch.

HP [ 80% ] SP [ 95% ]

Dogknob backs away to ready another charge.
You jump out of the way immediately, but slip on a puddle and hitting your head against the hardwood floor. Fortunately, you're out of Dogknob's line of attack.

HP [ 75% ]

"Who put that there?!" You scream as you look back at the puddle in frustration, but notice that it was formed by a small stream coming out of the pipes. That definitely wasn't there before.

Dogknob rams into the wall again, except you're not there to satiate its desire to smash.

The attack shakes your surroundings a bit, making the lightbulb above you dangle around violently. You notice a spark sporadically come out of the bulb as it shakes around.
The pipe cracks a bit more, making the stream even bigger and letting the puddle spread faster.

What do you do now?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>That's enough silly alchemy for now. To the basement!

It's time to ride or die with your spork-wand abomination.
You walk back to the basement door and open it--the cacophonious squeak of the door hinge assaults your ears.
There's no light to be seen going down. Every careful step you take leads you further into darkness.
You finally reach the last step. All you see is that you still can't see shit. Your hand wanders around the wall, hoping to find a light-switch.

You hear a noise. Not quite a footstep, but close.

Your hand finally stumbles upon a bump. Yes! The light switch--

You feel the bump brush against your hand, followed by the sound of glass breaking. Oops. Guess that was just a picture or something.

Another footstep-like noise. Better hurry.

Just next to the hypothetical picture, you feel another bump.

The lights turn on, and you see a...giant doorknob?

It barks at you like a dog.

[ SIMU-SCUFFLE: Dogknob ]

You look around the basement for anything you can use to your advantage. All there is is the light dangling on the ceiling by a thin rope, as well as a few boxes and broken appliances lying next to some pipes. Further back into the basement where the light fades out, you can kind of see something like some gas cans, but you're not too sure.

What's your battle plan?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Combine 3ds stylus + spork + bingdomwarts

[ Retractable 3DS Stylus + Spork = Something Versatile ]
[ Cost: 0 Icas (Tutorial discount applied) ]
[ Alchemizing... ]
[ Combination complete. ]
[ Retractable Sporklus (Cast?) acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

It's just a spork, but smaller and retractable, with the sleek look of a 3DS stylus.
No screen protector could possibly protect your 3DS against this. This is why they made Switch cartridges taste abhorrent.

[ Bingdomwarts + Retractable Sporklus = A Square Enix Reject ]
[ Cost: 0 Icas (Tutorial discount applied) ]
[ Alchemizing... ]
[ Combination complete. ]
[ Bingdomwarts 3D: Disposable Dream Dinnerware (Cast/Smash) acquired. Allocated to RAM. Equipped to MAINHAND ]

It looks like...the Keyblade? If it had a wooden handle, a plastic blade, and was a spork at the end instead of an actual key. This makes bootleg products look legitimate.
On the brightside, at least it's retractable so you can hide this shameful monstrosity.
You wonder if it's too late to undo this.

A new icon appears in your HUD next to Combination: [ Alchemy: Uncombinize ]

That's not even a word and you agree with it.

>Uncombinize Bingdomwarts 3D

[ Bingdomwarts 3D = Bingdomwarts + Retractable Sporklus ]
[ Cost: 0 Icas (Tutorial discount applied) ]
[ Alchemizing... ]
[ Uncombinization complete. ]
[ Bingdomwarts (Cast/Smash) acquired. Allocated to RAM. Equipped to MAINHAND ]
[ Retractable Sporklus (Cast?) acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

Oh, sweet, it works. You keep uncombinizing until you're back with your Bootleg Bogwarts Wand, Rusty Key, Retractable 3DS Stylus, and Spork.

>Combine Spork + Retractable 3DS Stylus + Bootleg Bogwarts Wand

[ Retractable Sporklus + Bootleg Bogwarts Wand = Something Disappointingly Magical ]
[ Cost: 0 Icas (Tutorial discount applied) ]
[ Alchemizing... ]
[ Combination complete. ]
[ Ecsporkto Retractium (Cast) acquired. Allocated to RAM. Equipped to MAINHAND. ]

Now this. This looks...like something. It's as small as a 3DS stylus, with the tips split into three, like a weird 'Y' shape but with a normal wand tip in the middle, and the ends of the Y as sporks. You do many wizards a disservice.
But hey, at least it's retractable.

What do you do now?

Inventory:
RAM (3 Slots)
-
Ecsporkto Retractium (Cast) [E]
Stuffed Hatsune Miku Plushie [E]
Purple Pajamas [E]

HDD (10 Slots)
-
Wing Fragment
Icarus Server Manual
Hello Kitty Lighter
Gargantuan TV
Metal Bucket of Water
Rusty Key
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Examine Inexplicably Gargantuan TV

It's a TV that's at least twice your size. There is nothing necessary about this or its size. You don't even know where the remote is, and there's no buttons on this thing. It's literally just a giant screen. Everything about this is useless and unnecessary.
You know what? Fuck it. You tap the TV and attempt to take it.
Surprisingly, it pixelizes into you.

[ Gargantuan TV acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

Your blink in disbelief. You're left with no other emotional choice but to accept that you just took an entire television effortlessly.

>Examine Table

It's a big table, the size of 4 king-sized beds. You wonder if your mother just loved purchasing large, abysmally expensive items, or if your family was just gigantic and you were adopted.
There's a Metal Bucket of Water here. Weird to see on the table, but you've long abandoned rationality in this game.

[ Metal Bucket of Water acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]
[ New skill - Telebubble (Cast, SP 5%, Description: Encase a small object in a bubble and move it around freely.) ]

You know what? Fuck it. You're taking the too.
Sadly, nothing happens to it when you try to pixelize it. You're left with no other emotional choice other than to accept that this game is stupid.

>Examine Knife Rack

You walk up to the Knife Rack, expecting...well, knives.
There's only one metallic object jutting out of this thing.

[ Spork acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

You seriously hope that this is part of the game's design, and not the insanity of your mother.

Looks like you examined everything that the HUD highlighted. All that's left now is to progress down to the basement. Any other preparations you wish to do? (Misc actions, item combination, etc)

Inventory
---
RAM (3 Slots): Bingdomwarts (Cast/Smash) [E], Stuffed Hatsune Miku Plushie [E], Purple Pajamas [E]
HDD (10 Slots): Wing Fragment, Icarus Server Manual, Retractable 3DS Stylus, Hello Kitty Lighter, Gargantuan TV, Metal Bucket of Water, Spork
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

bump, updating tomorrow
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Examine Brass-like bits

You walk back to the table and look at the brass-like bits. They look like wood shavings, except if it came from a trumpet rubbed against a cheese-grater. Curiosity gets the better of you and you lick one.

You immediately gag. It definitely does not taste like cheese.

>Search Puffy Couch With Lots of Crevices

You shake up the couch and hear something that sounds like...a straw? Time to yank it out from the dragon couch. You manage to reach your entire arm in before you finally feel something.

[ Retractable 3DS Stylus acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

You rejoice, for you've lost this thing for years. Now if only you could find the actual 3DS it comes with.
You fear what otherworldly powers govern this couch, but this seems to be all you could find.

>Search Cupboard #8

You're a little too short to reach in here comfortably, but then again you're too short for most things. You persevere by hopping on top of the counter to rummage in here.

[ Tiny Key acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

Score. You don't know why anyone would keep a key in there, but you chalk it up to the consistently terrible game design.

>Search Drawer #5

Luckily you're not too short for this. In fact, you'd be very concerned if you were.

[ Hello Kitty Lighter acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

Fire, savior of human evolution. And it's all packed into a convenient piece of plastic decorated antithetically with the cold lifeless eyes of an iconic Japanese mascot. You flick it a few times to make sure it still works.

[ New skill - Flarespark (Cast, SP 5%, Description: Ignite a very small area that's within your line of sight.) ]

Well, no use dilly-dallying from here. You walk over to the basement door and materialize the Tiny Key.

[ Loading Tiny Key from HDD... ]

You sigh for all 4 seconds that it took for the key to appear. Finally, you jam it into the lock, where it fits perfectly.

However, before you could turn it, you feel a chill run down your spine. You can feel that there's definitely something waiting for you down there.

Do you make any preparations? (Such as searching more things, combining stuff, etc)

Inventory
---
RAM (3 Slots): Bingdomwarts (Cast/Smash) [E], Stuffed Hatsune Miku Plushie [E], Purple Pajamas [E]
HDD (10 Slots): Wing Fragment, Icarus Server Manual, Retractable 3DS Stylus, Hello Kitty Lighter
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

ill uhhh update tomorrow too tired today i know things are slow in the story rn so ill get through it quickly
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

<3

>Combine Bootleg Bogwarts Wand and Rusty Key

[ Bootleg Bogwarts Wand + Rusty Key = A magical key ]
[ Cost: 0 Icas (Tutorial discount applied) ]

Makes sense to slap your wand and key together. You got a wand that's kind of like a knife but really bad at being a knife, and you got a key that's really bad at being a bigger key.

[ Alchemizing... ]
[ Combination complete. ]

[ Bingdomwarts (Cast/Smash) acquired. Equipped to MAINHAND ]

You basically got your wand back, only the non-handle part is made of rusted metal now, and it's also got grooves at the end to give it a key shape. You can only hope that Square Enix hasn't sued the developers for including this blatant bootleg.

With your new, uh, "key" in hand, you slide it right in the hole.

>

C'mon, that's too easy.

The door pixelizes into nothing. Oh boy, you hope that your mother wasn't too fond of that door.

(Feel free to combine any items from here.)
[ Inventory -
RAM: Bingdomwarts (Cast/Smash) [E], Stuffed Hatsune Miku Plushie [E], Purple Pajamas [E]
HDD: Wing Fragment, Icarus Server Manual ]

You arrive to a hallway, with stairs at the end leading to the first floor. Nowhere else to go but forward.
As you walk through, you're unnerved at the stares of the portraits on the wall. Each one portrays the matrilineal line of your family--the Satela family.

You're right by the top of the stairs now, with the condescending gaze of your mother looming over you from her portrait. You were never fond of this picture since it always reminds you of the pressure placed on you to be a "Proper Satela Lady" or whatever. You've long forsaken orthodox ladyhood.

You walk down the stairs, facing forward--away from your mother's gaze.

You're in the first-floor living room now. It's far more furnished than the room upstairs, with a bunch of couches and a large table and an even larger TV.

That's stuff's fancy and all, but you're here to find the exit, which is just by the base of the stairs. There, you stand before a set of large doors. As you guessed however, it's locked--this time with a small star-shaped indentation in the middle. Time to rummage through some drawers again.

You're back in the living room now. Not too far ahead is the kitchen. Might as well check it out.
In the kitchen, there's loads of cupboards and drawers here. It'll be a blast looking through all of this.
On the dining table, you see some...brass-like bits? You can only imagine what was served for dinner.

A bit more wandering leads you to the basement door, but you find this one locked too. Luckily the doorknob...is still not there. There's still a normal keyhole above where the doorknob should be.

Well, there's a lot to look in. However, you're lazy at heart, though you prefer to call it energetically efficient.
You let the HUD do the work for you, rather than flipping this place inside-out.

Living Room:
[ Inexplicably Gargantuan TV ]
[ Puffy Couch With Lots of Crevices ]
[ Table ]

Kitchen:
[ Cupboard #8 ]
[ Drawer #5 ]
[ Knife Rack ]

What do you do?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Dani: Put Wing Fragment in Feather-Shaped Hole

No use dilly-dallying any further in this room. You walk up to the door and materialize the Wing Fragment.

[ Loading Wing Fragment from HDD... ]

You let out an exasperated sigh; you absolutely hate this inventory system. After about 5 seconds, it finally appears in your hands. You promptly slap it into the hole.

>Nobert: Laugh at that easy joke.

You're asleep, but your immaturity sensors go off anyway as you let out a stifled laughter in your slumber.

>Dani: Finally get out of your room

You walk through the door and take in the view of the entire second-floor living room. It's easy to forget just how big this house is, and you're only looking at maybe a sixth of it. It's nothing grandiose in the way of furnishing--only two couches, a decent-sized table in the middle, and a huge TV to complement it. Granted, no one even uses this thing besides the infrequent guests. You figure your mother just has shitloads of money to burn. Not that you're complaining.

Your eyes immediately dart to the table where you see an object highlighted by your HUD: [ Small Rusty Key ]

It's not even a question to you; no keys lie around the place for no reason. You swipe it off the table.

[ Small Rusty Key acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

Where there's a key, there's definitely a hole.

>Nob--

No. It's Dani time.

>N--

Dani time.

Anyway, you walk over to the other end of the living room, just across from your bedroom door. Of course, there's a door here. However, the doorknob's gone again. Instead, there's just a large keyhole in the middle of the door, far too large for the small key you just got. It's about the right size for a kitchen knife or something, but you don't have that available to you.

You punch the door. This doesn't even make a lick of sense for a lock. 7.8/10, terrible game design.

Just then, a new panel appears just next to the inventory icon in your HUD: [ Alchemy: Combine ]

You pull it up. The HUD shows 2 squares:

Main Item: [ ]
Secondary Item: [ ]

Alright, well it doesn't seem like rocket science. What do you combine here?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Examine Inexplicably Average Door.

It's a door. Smells like wood. Probably made of wood too, but you never checked.

More importantly, the doorknob's been replaced with an odd feather-shaped hole. Yeah, it doesn't take a genius to know what goes here.

You tried forcing this thing open before, but it's locked shut. There probably could be other ways to pry it open, but you're not determined enough to try.

Well, you examined everything you could in your room. What do you do now?
(Dani's info has been added to the characters document)
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Dani:

Yep, it sure does say "Dani" on your name tag, even if it's a nigh-unreadable mess.
What is this, Pokemon? Of course you know your goddamn name.
You throw your uniform back into the pile where it belongs. Truthfully it belongs in the trash but that thing's full of discarded soda and other mixed chemical substances that it might be considered a biohazard.
On second thought, your uniform might just suit the trash just fine. Unfortunately, it's already on the ground and crouching takes too much energy.

>Examine Foggy Body Mirror

Wow, an author describing a character using a mirror? Talk about amateur hour here. You only use this mirror when drawing inexplicably outlandish poses. It's really more for making filthy doujins, but your mother can't know about that.

Well, while you're in front of this thing, you might as well use it. You materialize the Wing Fragment and hold it under your nose like a moustache. The harsh whiteness of the feather doesn't really match your short black hair. Nor does it match your purple pajamas. But you don't let that stop you from achieving your dreams.

Alright, you're bored now. You put away the Wing Fragment and move on.

>Examine Completely Normal Bed

You're very much well acquainted with this bed. In fact, you examine this bed every night.
Admittedly, you would never catch yourself ever doing any sexual acts on this bed, considering how it has Yugioh bedsheets.
...Admittedly, that won't exactly be a problem for the near future.

>Examine Console-Thrashing Gaming PC

Hells yeah babey, nothing but the absolute best* for your machine.
*For now.
It runs Crysis.

On the screen, you see the messaging app, though it looks like both nopants and edgemasterX are offline. You'd be surprised if they were, seeing how they're shown to be *asleep* on the *server application*. You use your mouse to draw a *dong* on the dirt above nopants's head. You also draw a *heart* above edgemasterX's head. Truly, this was how the game was meant to be played.

Welp, not much else you can do from here. Productive things, that is. Fucking around is always an option but you could stand to pause that part of your agenda for a bit.

>Examine Explicably Forbidden Dresser

Whoa, hey, can you read?! It says forbidden!
Just kidding, like hell you would forbid yourself to go through your own dresser.

The simulation took away all the clothes in here, leaving behind only your Bootleg Bogwarts Wand and Stuffed Hatsune Miku Plushie. Since you're about to leave this room, you figure that now's a good time to pick them up.

[ Bootleg Bogwarts Wand (Cast) acquired. Allocated to RAM. Equipped to MAINHAND ]
[ Stuffed Hatsune Miku Plushie acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

Goddamnit, you're trying to use Miku as a shield here. You click your tongue at how frustrating this system is and pull up your inventory.

[ Inventory (Mode: DRIVE):
RAM (3/3) - Bootleg Bogwarts Wand[E], Purple Pajamas[E], Wing Fragment
HDD (2/10) - Stuffed Hatsune Miku Plushie, Icarus Server Manual ]

You fiddle around with the HUD panels to move around some stuff.

[ Wing Fragment moved to HDD. ]
[ Stuffed Hatsune Miku Plushie moved to RAM. Equipped to OFFHAND. ]

Much better. You look deeper into the dresser to see if you missed anything. All that's left is a Photo of Shirtless Arnold Schwarzenegger, and a Cherry Lollipop. You're not sure how old that lollipop is but hopefully it's legally edible. You'd take these but you'd rather check out the door first.
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

bump
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>???: Examine everything.

Well, might as well start with examining your clothes, since it's right by your feet. You kick aside the pile, scattering it a little more on the floor. This is how you mark your territory.

You stare at the ground in silence. Your inner reponsible-voice is berating you, saying "Damn bitch, you live like this?"

Within the former pile, you see your old Fast-Food Uniform. Customers. Customers never change.
Holding it up, it brings you terrible flashbacks. You can never look at a ketchup packet again without getting a surge of anxiety after a customer pelted you with an entire basket of packets, all because they thought that the ranch was too spicy.

You give a nostalgic smile at the shitty handwriting on your name tag.
What does it say?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Rest at camp

You look at Evi. "We should probably camp out first. Y'know, since we don't know if some merciless death-machine is gonna be on the other side of this thing."

She smirks slightly as she starts walking back. "Maybe you should go in first t'check it out. If ya die, do tell me not to go in."

You follow behind her. "If I'll die, I'm taking that thing back to kill us both. Can't be hogging all the tickets to hell."

She taps your arm with the back of her hand. "If y'see me there it'll be on the throne."

The two of you walk for a short while, ending up back in the open area. The campfire is all set, with [ Light Campfire ] right above it.

"You're welcome," Evi says while walking to it and lighting it up. She then sprawls out on the grass and closes her eyes. "I'm beat. You wanna be nightwatch this time? Actually you don't have a choice cuz I'm already clocked out. G'night."

You lay on the side across from Evi. "Eh. We didn't die last time. I'm clocking out too."

Evi and Nobert are now asleep.

~~~

>???: Enter the plot

You are a gamer girl. Just kidding, you're actually a Twitch thot.

You look at the narrator with contempt. Fine. You're just a young nerd who's seen too much anime to be considered a normal person.

You look back at your Console-Thrashing Gaming PC, thinking about the last words you said.

satellyte: good luck
nopants is offline.

You plop on your bed. "Good luck? I should have said something cooler."

You materialize the Wing Fragment in your hand and examine it with your HUD.

[ Wing Fragment: A pristine, magical feather. Combine 3 fragments to form a complete Wing. ]

You sigh and look outside the window. All you can see below is an endless void, illuminated only by the Green Vortex high above.

You get up and stretch out your arms, though you pull a muscle in the process since your body is too used to sitting for hours. You might as well consider what retirement home to die in right now.

How ironic that the simulation would start you in your very own inexplicably disorganized room. You chalk it up to the fact that you spend 90% of your time in here, with the other 9% in the restroom and 1% probably in normal-people places. Even back at the real world, your mother would often criticize your room for being unladylike and a pigsty. Not that you ever cared.

You HUD highlights a bunch of objects of interest. You don't see what would make them interesting, but you've long accepted that the HUD has a terrible personality and a sense of humor.

[ Console-Thrashing Gaming PC ]
[ Inexplicably Disorganized Pile of Clothes ]
[ Foggy Body Mirror ]
[ Completely Normal Bed ]
[ Explicably Forbidden Dresser ]
[ Inexplicably Average Door ]

You already know all about these things in your room, but it never hurts to re-examine them in case you missed something.
What do you do?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

satellyte is online.
satellyte: hey good job
satellyte: finally making some progress i see
nopants: Hey quick question but what the fuck is going on.
satellyte: were moving forward is whats going on
satellyte: also idk if you noticed but one of the two Wing Fragments went to me
satellyte: so thanks cuz i really needed that to progress
nopants: Hey, that's mine!
satellyte: :P its technically ours
satellyte: this is a coop game after all
satellyte: i help you progress
satellyte: and in turn your progress helps me
nopants: I didn't sign up for this.
satellyte: you technically did
satellyte: since this is a volunteer program
nopants: ???
satellyte: look i kinda wanna move on my end since i can do that now
satellyte: so ill be unavailable for now
satellyte: but ill tell you more when we meet up
satellyte: good luck
satellyte is offline.

You feel a jolt run down your spine from Evi tapping you on the back.

"Uh, hello?" She waves her hand in your face. "Are we gonna do anything about that green thing? I know it says teleport, but I don't trust it."

You put away the laptop and look pensively at the green orb. What do you do?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

>Evi: Set up camp

Your disco friend starts walking to where the smoke is. "I'll, uh, check out what's up ahead. You can go set up camp."

You stretch out your arms then get up. "Alright, good luck out there." With that, you walk around the area, gathering sticks and stones.

Peon flies around you, then lands on one of the rocks in your hand. "That mortal had a very strong soul! I demand it--"

You accidentally drop the rock, nearly crushing Peon. "Oh whoops, sorry little fella."

>Nobert: Investigate the source of the smoke

You walk for a short while through the decreasingly dense forestry until you see some light shining through up ahead.

You emerge from the trees to see a small cottage in the middle of a clearing. Smoke bellows out of its chimney.

The door opens, with a simple bear walking out of it. A somewhat high pitch voice comes out. "Oh, hello there sweetie. My oh my, you must have wandered far!"

You're a little shaken since the sight of bears trigger your fight or flight thanks to your last encounter, but you deem this one friendly enough. "Uh, yeah. I did. All the way from Initium Village. I think that's far."

She puts a paw by her mouth. "Oh my, it certainly is! Please, come inside for dinner!"

You look to the side, hesitant. "I dunno..."

She smiles at you and gestures to the door. "Please, I insist. Do you have any particular preferences?"

You internally slap yourself for realizing something, then look at her with a curious look. "Vegetable stew."

She blinks in surprise. "I beg y-your pardon?"

"Vegetable stew." You repeat, crossing your arms. "It's not actually my favorite, but a certain shopkeeper seems to like it from his wife."

Tears start forming in her eyes. "Oh...you saved us..." she says shakily. The corners of her mouth turn into a very warm smile. "You defeated Mr. Boss Bear! I can't believe it!"

You raise an eyebrow. "What's that got to do with vegetable stew?"

Her face gets a little glum. "Mr. Boss Bear has been terrorizing the forest and made it hard for me or my husband to wander it. But now," she starts smiling again, "he can come home safely! Oh, thank you so much!"

She didn't really answer your question, but you roll with it. "No problem. Well, I guess my job here's done."

You turn around to walk back, all in a day's work. However, a bright light flashes behind you. You look back to the cottage, only to see that it's gone. No sign of the bear either. All you see now is a floating green orb.

You walk over to it and reach out your hand towards it. Upon touching it, it explodes into a giant green pillar of light. Eventually it dissipates, leaving two small white feathers in its wake.

[ QUEST COMPLETED: Bear In Mind Vegetable Stew ]
[ Wing Fragment acquired. ]

You hear rustling behind you. Turning around, you just see Evi.

She has her knives out. "You okay?! What in blazes was that?!" She points to something behind you. "What in blazes is that?!"

You look to see a small green orb. A prompt appears above it: [ Teleport ]

Suddenly, something pops up in your HUD as well: [ Laptop (!) ]

You take it out and see a message from that Satellyte person.
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

bump, update coming soon
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit

She laughs. "I drive these things everyday t'work, 'course I do!"

The two of you zoom through the forest as time passes. Eventually, you can see the Green Vortex fading, just like a sunset.

You both reach another small but open area, with the forestry being less dense than the previous area. A faint trail of smoke can also be seen from not too far away.

Evi stops the motorcycle and hops off. "Whew...I think we're far enough now."

You hop off the motorcycle and sit on a rock. You feel your legs throbbing from being stuck under a tree for too long.

She sprawls out on the grass. "I'm beat. Think we oughta camp for now?"

You feel slightly exhausted as well, but you're equally as curious about what could be up ahead.
What do you (Nobert) do/say?
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit