Lurker > nikko004

bumpin eheu
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

A) Follow her

You look back to the door and contemplate as you hear their marching get louder. Your eyes dart back to Isabella and you motion that youll go with her.

She nods in acknowledgement. Before she turns around to the vents, you tap her on the shoulder and do the motion of beating the air with an imaginary stick, followed by a questioning look. She puts a finger to her chin. Oh, are you wondering about the whereabouts of your weapons? She turns around and makes her way to the vents, motioning you to follow her. The room theyre being kept in is also through here. Quickly, we must make haste! With that, she shoves the girl in there and crawls in right after.

You follow not far behind. Inside, the vents are pretty cramped. Youre not really sure how Isabellas pushing the girls body through this, but you have better things to worry about such as your sticks. A few more minutes of crawling leads you guys right above another grate.

Isabella peers through, then nods at you. Your weapons are through here. I would accompany you here, but I must keep pushing forward. Her serious face slowly turns to a hopeful smile. I believe we can make a change, and Im willing to throw everything I have for that. She quietly unhinges the grate and sets it aside. I believe in you, too.

You return her nod and jump out of the vent. The room looks similar to a small warehouse, with boxes, crates, and vaults lining the walls. You hope you wont have to bust open the metallic vaults for this. Walking around the room, you inspect each container to see if theres any that are relevant to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice one of the vaults is labelled Thorn. You dont really give too much of a shit, though, and continue your search. Finally, you stumble upon a box labelled Stickler that might hold your--

The large metallic doors burst open as one of the soldiers enter with their gun pointed at you. No sudden movements, they say with a radio voice.

Fuck that. You might get shot, but you take that risk and gamble it all as you reach into the box and take a hold of its contents.

The soldier reacts quickly and fires a single shot at you.

Time slows. Youre still taking whatever this is out of the box.

The bullet whizzes through the air as it approaches you very quickly.

Your hand is nearly out of the box now.

The bullet is mere inches from you now.

A metallic resonance rings throughout the room.

You see the sight of [ Dicks Stick ] being twirled around as the bullet ricochets away from you. You look lower and see that muthafuckin' Teddy just busted a hole through the box and protected you. You look at what youre holding and see none other than your old reliable [ Stick ].

The soldiers stance gets wider and they start emptying their entire magazine into you.

Not that you give a shit. Both you and Teddy charge forward deflecting every bullet.

Teddy jumps up high in the air, prompting you for a good old fashioned tag team attack.

You grin and slice forward with your stick in tandem with Teddys divebomb attack.

The soldiers armor reveals a rip in an X formation as he falls to the ground, hopefully dead.

With that, Teddy becomes inanimate once again.
You pick him up and put him away, then walk back over to your box to see if you can find the [ Tommy Cane ]. Oddly enough, it isnt there. Not that it matters; you got far with these two.

You mull over your next action; at this point youre fully confident you can face your enemies head-on, but youre not sure about the layout of this place.

A) Get back in the vents and try to catch up to Isabella since she knows the way
B) Wing it and keep going your way
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

DrizztLink posted...

D. STICK around

ah ha ha ha ha

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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

A) Hear her out

You loosen your hold on her, still keeping her on the ground but hurting her less.

She breathes easier. Please let go... I'm here to help you both

You continue to pin her down. Like hell you'll trust a government worker.

She sighs. Okay, I'll explain. My name is Isabella, and I'm a scientist working for the government--

You tighten your hold again.

She yelps a bit. Please! Just because I'm in the government doesn't mean I'm bad, okay? Look, Ive been keeping both of you alive this entire time. My job is to run harsh tests so that we can eliminate the cause of both of your resistance to our brainwashing, but for once I dont want to do my job.

Brainwashing? Youre not sure if you like that sound of that.

We dont actually have a lot of time, she says more firmly. Its only a matter of time til they found out Ive been deceiving them. She turns her head slightly to face you as much as she can. You and the girl. Youre both physically extraordinary--

Suddenly, sirens and red lights blare from beyond the door. You stand up reflexively and look through the small window on the door to see a bunch of SWAT-looking soldiers marching to this room.

Isabella gets up and pats her coat, then briskly runs up to the controls and pushes a sequence of buttons.

In the next moment, the little girls straps are released. Isabella runs up to her and carries the sleeping girls body in her arms, then she approaches you with a serious face. In a few moments, well be met with gunfire. She shifts the girls body to her shoulder, then takes out a futuristic looking pistol and shoots a laser bolt at the grate of a vent behind you guys. Im gonna take her and escape through the vents. What will you do?

A) Follow her
B) Face the gunmen head-on and alone
C) Face them while taking these two with you
D) Your choice
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

AC) Free yourself and wait

They must be fucking crazy if they think these straps can keep you contained. You muster all your strength to release yourself. The straps don't seem to be budging, but you can feel something else cracking. You look to your wrists and see that the table is breaking apart. They really didn't think this through. You heft yourself up a little more until the table finally gives in and breaks apart. Your body is free, but you still have table chunks strapped on you. They seem to be made of really hard plastic. REALLY didn't think this through.

[ Armor: Table Gauntlets and Table Greaves equipped! ]

You instinctively try to grab your sticks but they're not on you. Fuck. You'll have to find those.

You run past the girl and to the door, then stand next to where it would open to so that you wouldn't be the first thing they see.

It finally opens up as a woman in a lab coat enters.

You tackle her from behind and pin her down.

She writhes in pain a little. P-PleaseI am not your enemy!

A) Hear her out
B) Leave her and run
C) End her and run
D) Use her as a meatshield
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

Your senses return to you, and you find yourself strapped on a table in a room tiled with white. Looking around, you see a bunch of machines and weird apparatuses. Just a hunch, but you might be in a lab. You crane your neck forward a little more and notice that youre not alone. You see another person strapped on a table; its a little girl. The label on her table reads out Rose.

From beyond the door in front of you, you can hear the distant yet sharp clack of heels slowly getting louder.

A) Bust out of here
B) Bust yourself and the girl out of here
C) Wait for this person approaching
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

Thank you @teepan95 for keeping this up!

B) Fuck tha police

Theoretically, there are an endless amount of ways you can enter this, but youve only ever been familiar with two ways.

Forward and further beyond.

You ready the [ Tommy-Cane ] in your hand and bust right through the door while raining bullets on everyone inside. Immediately, blaring alarms go off, but its currently drowned out by the sound of rapid gunfire.

Bodies fall left and right. You dont even bother to look at your victims; if theyre in the government, theyre automatically assholes. You charge forward towards the elevator. On your way, you grab the neck of one of the workers here, chokeslamming him against the elevator button at the end of your journey.

The elevator arrives and opens up to a pair of suited individuals, who are visibly alarmed at all the dead bodies. Before they could do anything, however, you gun them down and kick them out of the elevator as you enter through the closing doors.

The calming jazz of the elevator soothes your ears, which is a nice contrast from all the pained screaming. Oddly enough, the pained screams return as the elevator arrives on the second floor.

It opens up to a muscular man, at least an entire foot taller than you are, and covered in blood. He looks like an action movie star straight out of an 80s blockbuster.

He whips the blood off of his two katanas and puts them away, then readjusts his eye patch as he casually enters the elevator with you. Top floor, please, he says with a voice as gruff as Batman's.

You were already on your way there, so you didn't have to push anything. Before the elevator doors close, you notice a gaping hole in the window at the end of this floor, along with a mountain of dead bodies.

The smooth music resumes, and both of you stand next to each other without much of a word.

He sees that you're covered in blood as well, and breaks the ice. You here for revenge, too?

You shake your head.

He grunts. The names Thorn. The Government took my daughter, so now I'm here to take their heads.

You sarcastically clap.

Awkward silence once again, fortunately mitigated by smooth jazz.

He eyes your sticks, then immediately radiates killing intent as he draws his katana to your neck. Next floor, please.

You sigh and tap the button for the next floor with your stick.

The elevator stops on the 24th floor. Thorn shoves you out of the elevator and follows you out.

You see a standard room lined with cubicles and business-casual workers. In a split second, however, all the cubicles and workers are shredded to pieces as the sound of resonating metal rings out.

Thorn re-appears in front of you with smoke on his boots, then whips the blood off of his blades as your surroundings crumble into pieces and blood. The entire room is lined with carnage now.

He points his katana at you as he stares at you with a very furrowed brow. You wage war against the government, yet use the very tool they oppress us with. He assumes a battle stance.

You let out a tired sigh and take hold of your sticks. You wonder when these clowns will stop coming.

{ STICK EM U--

Before either of you could process anything, Thorn gets stabbed from behind by another katana--only this ones glowing neon blue along its edges. He then gets kicked aside by a lean, shadowy figure. His face is covered with tattered grey bandages which contrast his black three-piece suit.

Oh fuck. This guy looks like bad news. You take hold of your st--

He vanishes in a split second, and shortly after, you feel a sharp pain followed by your vision blacking out.


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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

bumpin, will update hopefully shortly
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

Action replays are supposed to work just fine even for games that came out after it; just put in the codes and go wild
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

With that, you hear his footsteps move into the distance. You follow his directions and keep going straight, until you see the familiar glowing circle.

You emerge from another manhole, right in front of a gigantic building with giant, blocky letters that spell out THE GOVERNMENT on it. Youre not sure if its flat out ridiculous, or if theyre doing it as a threat to keep the locals in check.

You think about the possible ways to enter this towering structure.

A) Go in through the front door like a normal citizen
B) Bust through the front door
C) Find a back door and bust in
D) Scale the building and skip to the top floor
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

D) Keep all your belongings.

You simply put your hand up and shake your head to signal that youre not really interested.

Dick scratches the tip of his cigar against his chin. You drive a hard bargain, kid. I like that. Ill get to the point--Ive seen what youve been doing, and I think you may be the one that can make a change around here.

You raise an eyebrow.

He takes another bite out of his cigar. So, you know how our government works, right? In this country, we got 4 regions--North, South, East, and West. We got a government for each region all working together, but the main government is all cooped up in the East where our capital is. You follow so far?

You nod while eyeing some stray cigar bits on his chin, which rouses some discomfort out of you.

He grunts. I can see youre a little confused, and I know its strange for me to say we got more than one government--specially when all your life youve only been told about the government like it was just one big rodeo. He adjusts the collar of his trenchcoat. But trust me on this, kid. My intel is pretty solid.

You shrug and decide to just nod along.

Alright, so, he begins, right now, were in the West region, and you just pissed off the West government. They dont usually alert the other governments unless its a major threat. We can use this to our advantage and take down the West government, then sneak up on the other regions and take them down too!

You raise an eyebrow upon hearing the words take down the West government.

He munches once more on his cigar. Remember when I said you could be the one to make a change? This is what Im talking about, kid! We take down these shitty governments and start a revolution!

You look to the side, unsure about all this.

He sighs. We can bring back alcohol across the nation, kid.

You suddenly perk up and are all ears about this.

He grins. Heh, looks like were on the same page now, kid. So lets be clear here; the East government is the end-goal, but the East region is too rich and fortified for us right now. What we gotta do is spark a revolution in the other 3 regions, so we can send over half the population over there to start some shit. You follow so far?

You nod.

Dick finishes his cigar then grins. Fantastic. Right now, though, lets just focus on the West government--wait, do you hear that?

The once distant and faint sirens are suddenly getting louder.

Dick darts his eyes left and right. They cant be heading here can they? He looks at you with widened eyes. Kid! Your neck!

You run your hand along the side of your neck and feel a metallic bump. You yank it out of your neck and see in your hands a chip with a faintly beeping light. You crush it.

Dick adjusts his hat and briskly heads for the door. Youve been tracked, kid. Our positions compromised! We gotta move!

You follow him out the door and to the manhole you guys came in.

He opens the hole and jumps in. Quickly, in here, kid!

You follow suit and jump in as well, bringing you back into the strange, ethereal darkness. Youre guided once again by nothing except for the sound of Dicks reverberating footsteps.

Kid, keep going straight ahead. I gotta split up with you and find a new base of operations. He makes a ruffling noise--probably the sound of his trench coat as he turns around to look back at you. Ill see you in another hole, kid.
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

Start with an easier load (like doing knee pushups) then work your way to a standard pushup
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

bump for more votes, otherwise sticking with D
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

C) Dicks hidey hole

You made the government aware of your presence. That's all you need for now. Time to find a place to hide.

You walk out of the side of the building and into the city sidewalk, then scan your surroundings. You spot a nearby manhole, which makes your job easier than you thought. You walk up to it and knock on it.

Nothing happens.

You bang on it with your stick.

In an instant, Dicks head peeks out angrily at you. Kid! Are you trying to get us caught?! Hurry up and get in! With that, he gets back in the hole.

You look around one last time making sure that no one's around, then follow Dick inside.

It's dark and smells like shit. You can hear Dicks footsteps though, so you follow them as best as you can. You're not really sure what you're walking on because it doesn't feel like sewer water, nor does it feel like concrete. After a few more steps, you see a circle outline of light up ahead.

Both you and Dick emerge out of another manhole, but this ones all the way by a rundown office building. On the door, you see the words Mannhole Private Investigations printed on the door.

Dick looks back at you with a grin. Whats wrong, kid? Didja ever doubt my line of work? he says while opening the door. After you.

You step inside and see a pretty standard office, only its dimly lit with one hanging flickering light barely illuminating the entire place. The window on the side has a hole, which is letting a breeze through and making the light swing back and forth, making the lighting of the room even more jarring. The sounds of sirens are audible, but only very faintly now. You walk over to one of the seats in front of the desk; the floorboards squeak with every step, making you sound like youre wearing a toddlers pair of light-up sneakers.

Dick walks over to his desk and takes a seat, taking out a pack of cigars out of his drawer and munching on one like a breadstick. I heard the sirens, kid. Dont worry about the feds; youre safe here with Dick Mannhole, Private Det-- he chokes a bit on his cigar and coughs up. Egh...you saw nothing, alright? He twiddles his thumbs atop the desk. Now, I got some pretty hot info, but Im gonna need something from you in exchange. I don't work for free, after all. Anything you got for me?

A) Present [ Tommy-cane ]
B) Present [ Dicks Stick ]
C) Present [ $0.75 ]
D) Not interested. Youre just here to hide.
E) Your choice of what to present/do
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

mathematically you cannot make it longer without touching it otherwise it wouldn't be the same line but rather two different lines
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

Bumpin
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

ACE) Get some info, SUPER FINISH HIM, get his stick

You put your finger on the trigger, then twirl your stick around and tap it with the gun.

Ace continues to pant. What? Ywanna know more 'bout the sticks? Like hell Id--

You point the gun at his crotch.

He instinctively covers his valuables with his other hand. Look, I ain't got a single clue where these things came from or how they work. A bead of sweat rolls down the side of his head. The government just handed us a few othem, then tol us to keep the locals in line!

You point the gun to the floor and take a deep breath. You learned absolutely nothing from that, other than that Ace is more useless than you thought. Originally, you were just gonna pop a bullet to his head and have him fall down through the window, but clearly you'll have to be more... extravagant about this to get the government's attention.

You scream in your mind as you charge forward at him with both of your sticks in one hand and the gun in your other hand.

Ace looks tremendously horrified. "E-even if you kill me, I already moved out all the booze--"

You tackle him through the window, impaling his back with a few shard of broken glass, then choke hold him with your sticks as both of you plummet down from the 50th floor.

You shoot the gun behind you to propel both of you towards the building. Using the momentum, you smash him against the building walls--using him as a corporate skateboard, as well riddling his back point blank with bullets.

As you sled downwards, all you can see are the mortified faces of henchmen watching their boss being gruesomely executed,coupled with the beautiful sound of glass shattering and scraping against Aces face.

You're fast approaching the ground; time for the grand finale. You kick against the wall to launch you and Ace diagonally towards the ground, with Ace right under you. You have your sticks pressed against his neck.

Finally, you both crash into the ground--the gigantic impact against the hold of your sticks causes the most ballistic guillotine you've ever seen.

Aces head flies straight up into the air.

You take one final shot at the airborne target, causing Ace's head to burst into a flamboyant firework display of red.

His hat gently glides down and lands nicely on your head. You tip it.

{ SUPER FINISH!!! }
[ Level up! 3 -> 5 ]
[ Tommy-cane get! ]

You can hear it now--dozens of police sirens blaring in the distance. Theyre gradually getting louder as they approach. You definitely wanted their attention but youre not really sure what to do with it.

A) Run and hide in a random building; ask the locals where the government HQ is
B) Face them head on, hijack a police car while keeping one of the officers hostage so he can lead you to the government HQ
C) Find a manhole and hide with Dick
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

ACE (heh) coming for the next update!
Also, made a cover for this story:

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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

{ STICK EM UP: HIGH-HAT ACE }

Ace rings out the first move as he rains a hail of bullets in your direction.

You flourish your sticks then meticulously swing them around to deflect his bullets away. However, you werent able to catch all of them as some bullets graze you, leaving you with a few scratches.

Aces gun stops shooting and starts clicking--its barrel glowing a hot red as smoke trails out of it. He laughs as he whips the magazine off, with a new one materializing in its place. We can keep doin this all day! You jus gonna stand there and take it?

Like hell you are. You use your stick to spring up one of the knocked out henchmen in front of you as a meatshield, then start charging forward.

Ace shoots another barrage of bullets at you--more specifically, all into the meatshield.

You kick the henchmen towards Ace, but he sidesteps him. Not that it matters--he just stopped shooting which is exactly what you wanted. You slide forward and knock him off balance.

However, he takes a potshot into your shoulder before falling down, causing you to throw one of your sticks away into the air.

You clutch unto the spot he shot, trying not to show your pain.

Ace quickly recovers from getting staggered and points his red-hot gun at you once again. You aint slick. Put up a good fight, but I think this heres game over.

Before he can pull the trigger, your stick comes back down and knocks his gun out of his hand.

You clench your teeth through the pain and get up quickly to bat his gun right into his head--the hot barrel singing right through his eye.

He lets out a loud scream, but youre not done with him yet. You jump to catch your other stick, then swing both sticks down at the impaling gun. It acts as a lever and rips up the side of his face. You kick him towards the window while catching his gun.

He leans just against the window, covering his ruined eye; blood trickles down like running water as he pants heavily.

You point the gun at him.

A) Spare him and see what information you can get out of him
B) Finish him.
C) Super finish him (Heavily increases notoriety, if you wanna really attract the governments attention)
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

[hhhhhhhhh forgot to bump this but thank you eev]
C) My Way or the Highway

Only two ways--forward, and further beyond. You grip your stick tightly, then tear open a hole in the middle, only to reveal a bunch of soil and rocks. In other words, this place is underground. If you took the other entrances, who knows how long you would have had to stay here wandering your way to the top.

Your trajectory is set. You run towards the walls, then run on the walls themselves, jamming your stick through the edges of the ceiling as you run around the whole room. Eventually you make one loop, and a few more seconds later, the entire ceiling comes crumbling down, along with a bunch of henchmen.

Theyre the least of your worries though. You jump up through the express entrance you just made to the floor above you. You land behind a henchman trying to get the coffeemaker to work.

Looks like you stumbled in the break room.

The henchman whacks the coffeemaker, which finally forces it to spit out some coffee. He jumps around in joy, only to meet you face to face.

You smash the coffeemaker, then point your stick at his neck.

The henchman trembles. Hey m-man, I dont want any t-trouble, okay?

You use your other stick to etch a letter A on the wall.

The henchmen points his shaky fingers up the ceiling. The b-boss is on the top floor--

You show him why its called the break room as the sound of crumbling bones ring out. You then look around for any quick way you can get to the top floor, when your eyes spot an elevator.

You walk up to it and hit the button, then whistle in your mind as you wait. The door opens to a pair of henchmen, who are mortified at the sight in front of them, and especially terrified at you. You walk in between them, then poke the close doors button as well as the 50th floor button with your stick. You deduce that this isnt the casino anymore, since it definitely wasnt this tall.

The doors close, leaving you alone with the two men, who are frozen in fear as you stand idly.

You whistle more in your head. If you could, you would totally whistle the Kill Bill theme here.

The elevator whirrs for a while more, until they finally open to the 50th floor. Surprisingly, no one else needed the elevator on the way.

You flourish your two sticks, then jab them behind you, knocking the air out of the two henchmen. You then kick them out of the elevator as you make your grand entrance into the room. Its just your average office, with a giant window at the back of the room, just behind the desk that a certain asshole sits by.

His chair swivels away from the window. Youre met with Aces shit-eating grin.

He stands up and twirls his cane around before tapping it on the ground. Didnt think youd be such a resilient prisner. Truly, you got what it takes to be a Stickman.

You raise an eyebrow at him.

He twirls his cane around again. Youve been fightin with yer sticks this whole time, yet you aint got a clue what the hell a Stickman is? He adjusts his hat. Ysee, the government dont want nobody to be special. But some folks gotta be special, if you wanna keep everyone else ordnary. He points his cane at you. You an me, were special folks. But even among us folks, some are

His cane starts morphing like a Transformer, until it takes the shape of a tommy gun.

...more special than others, he says while putting his finger on the trigger.

You take hold of both of your sticks.
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

CD) Use your stick, and use your stick

Yep. Fuck this. Youre dealing with this the only way you know. And youre dealing with this guy the only way you know.

You ready your stick for a great big swing.

Speak softly...and carry a big stick!-- you scream in your mind as you drive your stick through the bars, thrashing them down as the sound of crashing metal rings through the room.

The cellmate stares in awe, only he didnt have much time to do so as he gets impaled by a rogue metal bar from your...forceful lockpicking.

[ Level up! 2 -> 3 ]

Alright, time to rock and roll. You dust yourself off and walk down the hallway of prison cells. Left and right you think youd see fellows like you and that funky cellmate, but all you see are the decayed remains of bones and dust. Looks like you are not the first to stand up to Ace.

But youll definitely make sure to be the last.

Only one door stands at the end of the hallway, and opening it leads you another room, which holds two other entrances. Youre only interested in the way out, or the way to Aces spine.

Or, yknow, more beer. Thatd be cool too.

You take out Teddy from your pocket, hoping you can figure out the way he took to find Dick. Except, hes not doing shit. Damn, guess hes taking a presidential vacation. But thats okay, because hes muthafuckin Teddy Roosevelt.

Welp. Only two ways to go. Only two.

A) Go to the left entrance
B) Go to the right entrance
C) Go to the middle entrance.
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

bump, will update tomorrow hopefully
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

opinion on pickles on tacos
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How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

BD) Wait and Teddy

In times like these, you can always rely on the wisdom of muthafuckin Teddy Roosevelt. You take him out of your pocket.

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month, he says. Damn straight, Teddy. Unfortunately, youre in no position to be kicking anyones pants at the moment.

You poke Teddy with your stick, causing him to be re-animated once more, then you send him beyond the bars to find a way out of here.

In the meantime, you wait.

And wait.

And...wait.

Youre sick of this shit.

E) Use your stick

You grip your stick tightly and take a swing at the bars, but before you actually hit them, you feel the floor shake a little.

You look behind you and see a circle cracking through the floor. It crumbles, and you see a familiar silhouette.

Hey there, kid. Dick Mannhole, private detective here, he says while holding Teddy. Found a peculiar little fellow here, trying to guide me to you. He tosses Teddy to you, then scratches his head. A walking teddy bear--now thats a new one. Anyways kid, looks like you found the alcohol smugglers. Great job!

You nod and put Teddy away in your pocket.

Dick looks around suspiciously as always. I got some big discoveries since our last meeting. Those stick things that suddenly have been popping up everywhere? He eyes your stick. Theyre from the government. I dont know why theyre suddenly in non-government places, but this can only mean that the government and these smugglers are in cahoots!

You lean against the bars, bored. You really could give less of a shit about whatever conspiracy Dick is on; you just want some alcohol right now. Maybe you should have had a shot before you attacked the bartender.

Dick takes out another gigantic cigar and starts munching on it. This also means that trees arent eradicated either; the governments been hiding them from us! You really cant trust them--

The bearded cellmate bangs against his bars. Pipe down, gentlemen! Some of us are trying to retire to slumber.

Dick quickly eats the rest of his cigar in one bite in a panic. Oh crap! Ive been seen! See ya in another hole, kid! he says before retracting back into the hole.

You look back at the cellmate.

He picks his nose and then tries to tip an invisible hat with the same finger. Gday, my good sir. I see youre being held for challenging sir Ace. I do say, I propose we cooperate to force our release from this drab confinement cell!

You only caught half the shit he just said. Youre also feeling similar feelings as you do with Bob from Accounting.

A) Work with him anyway
B) Follow Dicks hole
C) Break out with your stick
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

He tips his hat. Howdy. Names High-hat Ace. He presses his cane harder. Id have you shot right now for makin a ruckus in my buildin, but I can look this over once for a feller Stickman. Now why dontcha tell me what yer business is here.

The bartender runs over frantically, showing him the [ Empty Bottle ]. Boss, this gentleman ran in here and tried to ask about this.

Ace tips his hat again. Ah, you must be wonderin why we got alcohol here. He takes his cane off your chest. Real simple really. We pay the government to turn a blind-eye in this building. Business has been boomin ever since Aces High Casino has been the only place in the city to get yer fill of booze. He taps his cane on your head. Course, you cant do nuthin about that. So long as we got money, were untouchable! He looks at his watch and turns around. Lock him up, boys. I got wads of cash to sniff.

With that, one of the henchmen comes up and kicks you in the head, making you black out.



Your vision returns to you, and you find yourself in a stonewalled jail cell with metal bars that look pretty sturdy. You look around for anything you can use, but theres only a bed frame with no mattress here. Not even a toilet. How the fuck do people live here?

You look beyond the bars. Theres a long-bearded guy whos sleeping in another cell across you. You cant really see to your sides since its difficult to peek your head out further.

A) Talk to the cellmate
B) Call upon Teddy
C) Bust out with brute force
D) Wait for a guard or someone to come by
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

C) You know how it goes

Pondering time over. You already know what to do.

You smash right through the doors, which garners the attention of everyone, save for one drunk patron whos passed out on one of the slot machines.

You scan your surroundings without giving much of a shit of all the eyes on you. You see slots. Poker tables. Standard casino stuff.

But most importantly...a bar.

You walk over there, accentuating each of your footsteps and staring down the bartender to the point where hes sweating bullets.

He aggressively and frantically twirls his fancy mustache. H-hi there sir, what can I get you--

You slam the [ Empty Bottle ] on the counter.

He starts sweating even more. Sir I-I dont exactly--

You hold your stick against his neck, leaving him silent. However, you feel the cold sensation of metal being pressed against the back of your head, along with the sound of a click.

A gruff voice follows. You here to cause trouble, punk?

You take a deep breath. Guess it has to be this way.

You swiftly duck and jab your stick behind you, staggering the gunman behind you. You turn around and roundhouse kick him in the head before he can react, knocking him out.

At this point, youve sent the entire place into a panic. All the bystanders are running all over the place screaming, while a bunch of suited men with bowler hats are making their way to you while taking potshots at you with handguns.

You whip out [ Dicks Stick ] and start dual wielding sticks, deflecting all the bullets rushing to you as you charge towards the nearest gunman. You slide-kick into him, knocking him off balance and disarming him from his gun. You bat it away towards the head of another gunman, which causes him to miss his shot and shoot his ally next to him.

More gunmen rushing in. Youd love to sit here and deal with all of them, but you scan all around the place to see if you can see someone you can actually talk to. Up on the balcony, you can see a white-suited man with a 12-foot tall hat watching over your fight. That has to be the head honcho.

You jump up atop the head of one of the gunmen and run along the heads of the crowd of gunmen.

They try to grab your legs as you land on them, but they keep fumbling around and falling over.

Youre just below the balcony now. You land on one more gunman and kick against his face with full force to propel you to the top of the balcony. As you fast approach the hatted man, you ready your sticks.

However, he swats you away with a cane before you could attack him, knocking you back down to the ground floor. He jumps down, landing next to your fallen body.

The rest of his henchmen have their guns pointed at you as the hatted man presses his cane against your chest.
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

C) Use your stick

No, Bob from Accounting cannot be trusted. He's too unpredictable after all.

You're about to wield both of your sticks in a battle stance, but you figure there are easier ways to deal with him. You turn around and hold your palm out to him, indicating him to stop.

Bob chuckles. Heehee, you got a funny lookin hand, Joe!

You desperately want to strangle him. But good things come to those who wait. Instead, you point behind him.

He turns around. Is somethin there--

You smash him right in the head with your stick, knocking him unconscious. Just so you dont attract any unwanted eyes, you drag him further into the alleyway, then take his beer.

Damn. Asshole drank the whole thing. Still, the bottle might be useful.

[ Empty beer bottle get! ]

You stretch a little and crack your knuckles, ready to head to your next lead.



You stand before a grand building with a colorful neon sign that flashes Aces High. The tall, tinted glass doors loom over you as you vaguely see a bustling crowd and even more colorful lights in there---presumably from all the slot machines and whatnot.

You ponder over how to go about this.

A) Just walk in.
B) Find other entrances to get into.
C) Use your stick.
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

A) Alleyway

You don't have time to be chasing cars. You run over to the alleyway where the snapping sound came from.

There, you're greeted by the sight of a fallen body with a broken stick beside him. Looming over him is a man dressed in office attire. You know him as your co-worker; Bob from Accounting. You're not actually sure what his last name is--you always just assumed it was Accounting or something.

Bob pants as he clutches his stick, then looks at you with a smug grin. If it ain't ol average Joe! You got one o them sticks too?

You see him eyeing your sticks and simply nod at him.

He holds his stick in the air. These things are crazy, I tell ya! They make you like one o those Jedi things from uh, that one show. Star Trek?

The only thing going through your mind is that Bob from Accounting must be murdered. Well, you think that on a regular basis whenever you work with him. You look back down on the fallen man.

Bob notices you looking. Oh, him? Dont worry about lil ol him. I jus tried ta take his booze.

Your eyes widen at those words as you crouch down and inspect the body immediately. You loot all his pockets for anything you can find.

Bob taps his stick on the ground. Hey Joe, aint we civilized? Why ya robbin this man like some kinda street rat?

You simply glare at him for a moment, then go back to searching. You manage to find his wallet, which only has about 75 cents in it.

[ $0.75 get! ]

But the more important thing you see is his employee ID, showing that he works for

Aces High Casino? Bob chimes in. Aint that the gamblin place just Downtown? Whats this fellow doin over here in broad daylight?

You look at Bob and wonder what the hell hes doing in an alleyway drinking stolen booze in broad daylight, but youd rather not get a headache trying to fathom Bob from Accounting. With your new lead discovered, you get up and start walking towards Downtown.

Bob runs up behind you. Hey Joe, wait up fer me! I want in on more booze!

You facepalm, as youd really rather not have Bob from Accounting tag along. Then again, this is the absolute madman that just beat a guy down with a stick for booze. You might be able to use the manpower.

A) Let Bob from Accounting tag along
B) Go alone
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

fire_bolt posted...

Not trying to steal TCs thunder butt i know my bois and gurls are gonna want to C this

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/400-current-events/76358400

its all good lol, honestly the co-existence of a CM_ponch AND an assmuff CYOA simultaneously? its like the planets lined up

update shall be soon
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

r4X0r posted...

That's getting into some interesting territory. If you took the cells, they would belong to that person but if you turned them into another person, obviously that original person can't own their clone because that would be slavery.

The original person you cloned from can still press charges against you probably since the act of you stealing his cells unknowingly is not suddenly erased after you clone them
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

C) Stick around

You think back to what Dick said--that the guys with sticks have your beer. That can only mean that if there are sticks around, the beer will be there too. Fantastic logic. Maybe you should be a private detective too.

You scour just within the vicinity for any sticks on the sidewalk. Surprisingly, there isn't any sign of a single stick. How the hell did you even find yours? The search goes on for half an hour before you sit against a brick wall and ponder over everything that's been going on. You just wanted a nice drink to escape from your everyday life. But then, if you drink everyday, is that simply part of your everyday life? Are you actually being fooled here into thinking your routine is any different any day?

Oh no, you're thinking again. You really are getting too sober for this shit.

Suddenly, you hear the distinct sound of a stick snapping, right around a nearby alleyway. Looks like good things really do happen to those who wait. But also in that moment, a police car zooms past you heading up north with sirens blaring. Another one's following not too far behind.

A) Check out the alleyway
B) See if you can hitchhike a ride with this police car to the north
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

A) Yeah, also dual wielding

You nod.

Dick grins, then takes another bite out of his cigar. "Great! Here, you can take the stick off my hands. I already did all that I could with it."

[ Dick's Stick get! ]

He shifts his eyes around again. "I'll tell you this right now, kid; these sticks are bad news. It's the 22nd century and we've already eradicated all trees in this world. So how the hell are sticks suddenly appearing outta nowhere?" He twirls his cigar around his fingers like a pen. "There's a whole organization out there armed with nothin' but sticks." He takes yet another bite into his cigar, whittling it down to half its size. "Sounds ridiculous, I know. But if my hunch is correct, they gotta be the ones gatherin' all this city's booze."

You scratch your head. All you're taking away from this is that the guys with sticks have your beer.

Dick eats the rest of his cigar, then sighs. "Well, I can't really stay exposed like this for too long. Government might find me. Then it'll be all over for Dick Mannhole, private detective." He shifts his eyes around, then looks back at you. "You let me know if you figure anything out.." He tips the cover of the manhole like it was a fedora. "Catch you at another hole, kid." With that, he hides back into the manhole, away from sight.

Well. That was weird. However, in that moment, a certain scent pervades the air--the smell of booze. Your smell shoots up to K9-unit levels when you're this sober. Sadly, you're not really sure where it's coming from.

A) Go Downtown (You have no idea what to expect here)
B) Go up north (Where the van drove off to)
C) Look around for sticks and see if it gets you anywhere
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

nevershine posted...

Eevee-Trainer posted...

0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

B -> D

---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

Bumping for now, will update shortly
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

D
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

A) Check out the hole
Before you approach him, you try to put away the other stick, only for you to discover that it broke. Magic stick, he says. Whatever. You make your way over to the manhole and crouch a little to talk to the figure.

He speaks with a gruff voices while shifting his eyes rapidly left and right. "Psst. Kid. The name's Dick. Dick Mannhole. I'm a private detective y'see, and I'm trying to investigate who's causing the disappearance of all the alcohol in this city."

You raise an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, what? You're not one of those nimrods that think the government's behind this, are ya?" He takes out a gigantic cigar and takes a bite out of it. "Can't trust the government these days. Someone's gotta be behind this. And so far, the only lead I got..." He holds out a battered stick, "...is this."

You raise another eyebrow. Not both of your eyebrows, though. That's for when you're not sober.

He shifts his eyes around again, trying really hard to look shady and suspicious. "So whaddya say, kid? Interested in helpin' out?"

A) Ok
B) No; use your stick and look for your own clues
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

B) Disrespect your surroundings.

The longer you stay sober, the more you think, and thinking is the devil.
Might as well use it to your advantage, much to your dismay. You look around and see what you can use, rather than waste time engaging him directly.

A dumpster to your left. Small rocks and debris all around you. Really not a lot to work with, but it's just enough.

You smash your stick to the ground, which fogs up the area with debris dust.

The thief remains vigilant, but he doesn't seem to do much else.

You kick some dust into the thief's eyes, blinding him slightly.

Before he could regain his vision, he gets run over by a wheeling dumpster being propelled at him at high speeds, causing him to get flattened and lose grip of his stick.

As you surf on the dumpster, you catch the stick in midair, then use it along with yours to row the dumpster forward by picking them against the narrow brick walls to your side. The end of the alleyway isnt far now.

[ THIEF EVADED ]
[ Notoriety: 5% ]

The bright sunlight blinds you for a moment, but as your vision clears up, all you see are the empty city streets. In the distance, you can only see the small silhouette of a van driving far away.

You hop of the dumpster, dejected. That grocery store was the only one in town that still had beer. Ever since the government forcefully took away alcohol, you always felt lucky to have come by one of the few places that didn't give a shit about the government.

You're not really sure what do to now. Unsure AND sober. Terrible combination. You take out Teddy for advice.

"Get action. Seize the moment. Man was never intended to become an oyster," he says. God bless America.

You put him away and ponder on his words. Before you could really give it much thought, though, you hear a distant "pssst!" coming from somewhere. You look around and see a silhouette of a head sticking out a manhole--eyes focused right on you. "Psst," the figure beckons once again.

A) Check out the man of the manhole
B) Walk towards the direction of the van. Maybe eventually you'll stumble upon where they parked.
C) Go back to the grocery store and see if they have anything else interesting
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

If Cappy takes the form of whatever's wearing him, and Kirby absorbs whatever he eats including part of their form, what happens
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

Alkaloid posted...

C

Gotta get that burr!

Also, I missed the ending of the demon lord cyoa. I would have totally voted for Lucy.

The topic is still up i think. If not, I have it archived on the cyoa board (aerial assault)
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

B) Use your stick

You continue to not give a shit.
You take your stick and jab his stomach, causing him to curl up in pain.

He coughs up as he watches you walk past him towards the counter. D... don't say I did not warn you!

You look at the counter, only for the bottle to be missing. You quickly look around for where it could have gone, when you spot a pair of men dressed in black running away towards a broken window.

Oh. That really rustles your Jimmies. You make a mad dash towards them, leading you towards a narrow back alley which smells like shit thanks to the rows of dumpsters lining the place.
One of the men turns his ski-masked face around. Aw shit dude, someone's after us!

His partner, who's considerably taller, throws him a sack--presumably the stuff they stole, including your beer. Go on ahead to the van! I'll handle this.

He nods as he catches the bag, then runs ahead even faster.

The taller thief stops to confront you. He takes out a stick. I wouldn't take another step if I were you. This right here's a magic stick. He twirls it around, then points it at you. Do as I say and you won't be getting hurt.

You don't give a shit. You take out your stick. Time's ticking as your beer is getting away from you. That means more time being sober. Unacceptable.

{ STICK EM UP: THIEF }

A) Attack him directly (+5 soberness)
B) Use your surroundings (+5 notoriety)
C) Don't engage and just run past him (risk level: medium)
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

Their humor stayed the same; you simply grew up from it
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

ABCD) Yeah


You quickly yank the cashier from behind the counter and hold him in front of you.

He doesn't seem to put up any resistance. "I don't get paid enough for this..."

Olga cracks her knuckles, then starts charging at you.

You swing at her side with your stick, but she has the Superarmor passive--preventing her from getting staggered by light attacks. Aw shit.

She tackles you and the cashier right into the wall, then takes a step back and starts winding up an attack with her pole.

You're still stuck on the wall, unable to really move.

With great force, Olga unleashes a gigantic side-swing with the pole.

However, before it could make contact with you, Teddy appears before you and punches you to the side, away from the pole.

The cashier is still there, though. Well, he was--until he and Teddy get knocked away by Olga's attack.

You catch his hurled body, then twirl around and throw him towards Olga.

As Teddy flies, he grabs the cashier and uses him as a weapon.

You then stab your stick into the ground and channel mana right into the stick. It starts glowing blue. You tighten your grip to cast Stick.

[ Not enough mana! ]

Fuck. You knew you should have put more stats into your INT. Too late now. You start running towards Olga.

She lifts up the pole on her shoulder, then throws it at you like a javelin.

Luckily, Teddy's away from its path, but its still headed straight towards you.

You don't give a shit. You continue to run. Just before it hits you, you jump up with your stick on your feet, skating along the pole perpendicularly. You then dismount at the tip of the pole, suspending you right in the air.

Alongside Teddy, you both crash down into her in an X formation.

Her eyes roll up as she falls to the ground, unconscious.

With that, Teddy returns to being inanimate. You pick him up and return him to your pocket.

[ Olga defeated! ]
[ Level up! 1 -> 2 ]
[ Teddy has left the party! ]

You start walking back to the counter to rightfully claim your beer, but you're stopped by a hand on your shoulder. You turn around to see the homeless man once again.

"My boy, I knew you were special!" He nods vigorously. "Yes, you must come with me at once! I can show you the ways of the stick--"

You push him away. You're not interested in sticks; you're only here for the beer.

He jumps in front of you, blocking your path. "My boy, you are in grave danger! The moment you picked up that stick, you became one of us!"

You're not sure what he's on, but he's blocking the way to your beer. What do you do?

A) Hear him out, I suppose
B) Use your stick
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

AC) Teddy & Stick & Knuckles

You take out Teddy once more to hear his advice.

"Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft!" he says.

You never gave a shit about honor, but he sounds pretty spot on about never hitting soft. You flourish your stick and engage in battle stance.

[ Teddy has temporarily joined the fight! ]

{ STICK EM UP: OLGA }

A) Attack with your stick
B) Tag team attack with Teddy
C) Cast Stick
D) Use the cashier as a meatshield
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

AC) This is a stick up

You take out your teddy bear from your pocket. As you gaze into his eyes, you can hear a voice echoing in your mind--the voice of muthafuckin' Theodore Roosevelt, the greatest goddamn president of all time.

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far," he says.

You tuck Teddy away; god bless you Teddy. You then slam your stick on the counter.

The cashier starts sweating. "Uhh, right, that will be $19.99."

You tighten your grip on the stick.

His pupils are shaking a bit, then he pushes a button on the counter. "Hey, Olga? I'm in trouble here."

The door behind him slams open to an extremely large and muscular woman. She speaks with a very deep Russian voice. "What is problem here, tovarisch?"

The cashier points at you.

Olga grunts, then takes out a REALLY big stick; you might as well call it a telephone pole.

What do you do?

A) Call upon the wisdom of Teddy
B) Run
C) Use your stick
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

Agreed; Really wish there were more spear options in video games because of this. The closest I'll ever get is Dynasty Warriors
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif

AC) Hear him out, Use the stick

The homeless man points his stick to the ground and eyes yours. "You there...what is your business here?"

You glance at the beer bottle, then back at him.

He tenses his eyebrows. "Fool! Are you simply a slave to the ichor of the Gods? A slave to the chemicals of your brain? Have you been domesticated by this sedentary lifestyle, lazing about your days as you bathe in brews?" He stomps his foot. "You deny your weapon its purpose! It thirsts for blood--"

You stop giving a shit about his speech and sucker-whack him with your stick, knocking him unconscious. It looks kinda bad that you're standing next to two fallen bodies, so you quickly take the bottle and head to the cashier.

He looks to be in his 30s, extremely lanky and skinny, and seems to be the type that would be a shut-in, except that he's probably forced to work here because his mom stopped paying for his video games. He runs the bottle through the scanner, which sounds a beep. "That'll be $20.84."

Oh fuck, you forgot your wallet at home. What do you do?

A) Negotiate
B) Run away without paying
C) Use your stick
---

How to open a door, Step one: http://i.imgur.com/EWKRS.gif