Lurker > KogaSteelfang

Let's go.

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Loads of times.

Surgery as an infant.

Again after being swarmed by bees as a kid.

Then when I got stung by something and had a severe allergic reaction.

Car accident that caused major injuries. Ended going hospitalized several times over that which ended in major surgery. I was 9. Was like 5-6 different trips to the hospital.

Once over severe bronchitis, and again when it caused swelling in my chest muscles and a cough popped one of my ribs out of place.

Then when I tripped and twisted my ankle. Thought it was broke, but turned out to just be sprained.

I think that's all, but I may be forgetting once or twice when I was younger.


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I'm currently doing better, but still a long way off from a yes.

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Feels like it's possible, but that I'll never achieve it.

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No.

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Chick magnet.

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dolomedes posted...

it's unfortunate to see how many of you had violent parents. i can't even imagine being able to hit somebody with a belt.

also why were y'all such bad kids?

My dad just took his frustrations out on me and my mom. Blamed both of us for him being unhappy. I was "bad" by virtue of being there. Sure, I wasn't perfect, and sometimes I deserved what I got. Most of the time though he was just a violent, angry, psychopath who liked hurting us. So if he thought he had any reason at all, that's what we got.

One time in particular stands out. I had a pretty severe back injury from a car wreck when I was 9. Had to go through physical therapy to be able to walk without issues. He was cussing at us like he always did, and I said something back. He hit me in the back as hard as he could. My legs immediately went numb and I couldn't stand. He purposefully aimed for my injury hoping to hurt me, and I seriously thought I was paralyzed for a few moments until I managed to get back up.

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Enough to make believe it. Mostly from family.

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gatorsPENSbucs posted...

My dad beat the shit out of us with his big ass leather belt.

This, sometimes he'd use the buckle.

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DrizztLink posted...

You have got to get the fuck out of this relationship, man.

This. Best wishes, stay strong.

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Beyond broken.

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Looks good, hope you enjoyed it.

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Pepys Monster posted...

You assume other guys are worse off and don't try, but succeed. How do you know those guys didn't work their butts off to get a girl? Maybe they're shorter than you, but they worked hard to get a career going, and then found someone. Maybe they really are worse off, but they endured hundreds or thousands of rejections before they found someone.

I'm talking about other guys I know. I may not be very socially capable myself, but I do have family and know people. When one hasn't had a job in 20 years and lives by mooching off if anyone willing to give a hand, looks and smells like they just crawled out of a dumpster and is basically helpless without someone to feed them... Yeah, I view that person as worse off than I am.

Then to see that same person sleeping around with dozens different women each year, and actually getting occasional relationships. Yeah, that's a punch in the gut. That someone like him is more desirable than someone like me.

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First one, then the other.

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Pepys Monster posted...

Well, if you're not even going to try in life, how do you expect to pull girls?

What of people with super low self esteem and no confidence? The ones that do try, and fail regardless. Then that failure just reinforces the thoughts that they shouldn't try, and they see other guys worse off from them succeeding without even trying. Instilling in their minds the thought that there's something fundamentally wrong with them and there's no chance no matter the effort they put in. Still they try, and try for years, and just end up at the same result in the end.

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This topic is the only time I've consistently seen white/gold. Blue/black was always the default and I could only just momentarily switch it before seeing blue/black again. *Shrug*

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WingsOfGood posted...

Sorry to hear that bro. All you can do is keeping trying to better yourself and work through those issues. Don't see getting laid or a relationship as the end goal, but the new you. Then those things come after.

When you are the new you, you will be miles ahead of other men your age divorced paying for child support.

As of right now, I know I'm not ready to be in a relationship. It's just that all my goals in life hinge finding someone. I do wish I could find someone to be with physically, just so I'd know what all the fuss is about,band I could lose this stupid virgin label. Just to get some weight off, and maybe some relief too. Idk, I know I'm just being pathetic.

Recently made a couple of friends at work. One of which seemed like there may have been a chance at something, but turned out I'm just an idiot. Still, now I at least have actual work friends, and from what I've been told I'm surprisingly well liked at work. So that's helping, and I'm doing a bit better.

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I'm going to be 37 this year. It didn't used to bother me. Up until I was about 30ish I simply didn't care.

I admit, I have a lot of issues. It's easy enough to blame those, and my messed up life as to why I turned out this way. Back then I simply didn't realize how messed up I really am. Had decades of repressed emotions pent up. It all came crashing in when I was about 32, and had a true breakdown. All those things I'd buried came back up, I didn't know how to deal with any of it. I latched onto gamefaqs at my venting mechanism. I became stuck in a loop of negativity, and began being hated for it but it was my only safe release from it all.

Sought out medical and mental help at that point. Was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. Went to therapy, and was put on medication. That all turned out poorly in the end and I stopped. It's been a few years since then, and I've made tons of mistakes during that time, some that really hurt people and I can't forgive myself for.

I'm currently doing better, but I'm still just a living ball of regret and self loathing. Most people I considered my friends have just turned out to be people who felt sorry for me but still disliked me anyway.

In the end, some of us simply aren't worth being with. It doesn't matter if we want to be loved, or experience affection. They pick up on that and their mind goes into auto-reject mode. I can't blame them, I know I have false ideals about being fixed by being shown I have value to someone. I feel like I'd be inflicting someone with my presence just in hopes that they'd make me feel better. That's just selfish on my part, and while I feel like I have a lot of love to give, that's most likely not enough.

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Myself...

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Duncanwii posted...

I like her. Shes cool.

He was actually cool to hang out with.

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Constantly.

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I've got nerve damage across my abdomen from a car wreck when I was little. Can be aggravating at times.

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I have a nice big dog. She's what I call aggressively affectionate, she will force pets and cuddles if she has to.


There's also a bunch of cats, but none are mine.

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Beyween ears and shoulders. I always liked having longer hair when I was younger. The problem is that once it reaches a certain length, it gets big looping curls. They're pretty strong ones and are difficult to tame. So now I just let it grow out long enough to curl up, then cut it short again.

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Yes, the only one that stuck with me though is biting myself when frustrated.

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My cousin's mom is Korean. I could probably track her down in a few hours if I needed. If my cousin counts, he lives with me. I'll be picking him up from work tonight.

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3.

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I've been more social at work. Have a female co-worker who had decided to whip me into shape. We'll see how this works out.

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Imastrongwoman posted...

Surely some of you guys have wives and girlfriends or at least fwb?? Ive got two of the three surely you guys have one :p

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Not gonna happen.

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Neutral. I get loads of matches, none of which go anywhere.

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Congrats!

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18.
I've shot guns before, and ridden horses.

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I got Key, a rare weapon appears in your hand.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Stop worrying about going to far with it this early on. That's like trying to measure out a gallon of water and already becoming cautious when you only poured an ounce. There is much worse than slightly being an asshole. I've been on both sides. I use to get anxiety at the thought of maybe hurting someones feelings. That shits over with and good riddance.

I mean, I just made accusations at you in my first post and I barely even know you like that. Did you get offended? Cause it seems like you didn't, seems like you just looked past them with barely any attention to it and replied calmly and reasonably. You didn't take it to heart. The people worth talking to don't take that shit to heart. If someone flips out over small assumptions like that, you just finish the conversation and not talk to them in depth anymore. Keep it surface level. You get that choice and power.

That accusation didn't really bother me. The ones that do really hit me though. I honestly didn't even realize that was an accusation rather than just a statement.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

@KogaSteelfang

I always get the feeling you willingly settled into this instead of trying to make it a phase of your life. You need to fight your impulses to be a doormat. You seem like a good dude, so it's sad that you accepted this position. I use to feel like a doormat, now Ill be damned if my opinion doesn't get noted and heavily considered when I care about something. Just start by answering easy questions like "where/what you wanna eat?" Or "Do you have a preference in what we watch?" with assertiveness. Are you around people who ask stuff like that?

Sometimes, yeah. Working with someone now who says they'll whip me into shape. Actually, said they were gonna make me an asshole, but I don't wanna go that far.

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Being a weak willed doormat.

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I had this happen about a month ago. Was on the interstate coming home at about midnight. Only like 3 vehicles in sight. The one behind me flashed his high beams at me several times. He wasn't close enough to want to pass, and even if he did it was open road so he easily could have. Checked things out at home, didnt see anything wrong.

*Shrug*
Was hoping this topic would shed more light, but looks like it's not something too obvious then.

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So many reasons. First of all is depression/low self esteem. I don't feel like I'm someone worth being with, it's just something inherently wrong with me as a person that no one would ever want to be with me.

Second of all is anxiety/lack of social skills/being closed off. I dealt with loads of physical and mental abuse, was outcast and bullied at school. I was always shy and reserved, but later it developed into full blown social anxiety. I can barely function around others, and it takes so long for me to feel comfortable with someone that any sign of interest or friendship has long since passed.

Third, I'm basically a shut in. I mean, the area I live in has next to nothing worth going out for. No real shops, no kind of entertainment aside from a movie theatre, just nothing. Even so, if there was something, I doubt I'd be brave enough to go by myself, and if I go with someone else I get relegated to the background. So, unless I'm at work my only social interaction is here on gamefaqs.

Lastly, I know I'm far too passive.

Idk, I always thought I would meet someone one day and it'd just click. I can't seem to get any attention irl at all, and if I did I wouldn't know what to do about it. Now I'm older, and it's really become something of a mental block for me.

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I think she's cute.

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Billy Zane, Ian Sommerhaulder, Matt Bomer, and Cillian Murphy mostly. Also once someone said I looked like the guy that played Hook on some fairy tale show.

Also, once someone stopped me and asked for my autograph. They thought I was someone from a soap opera they watched. No idea who they thought I was.

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I used to be really into drawing. Like super heavy into it, but then some things happened and I quit for a very long time. The last few years I've been trying to get back into it, but it just isn't clicking any more and I've definitely lost talent. I recently found this old picture that I drew after I saw 2 pics of a Griffin and a phoenix that I liked. I tried combining them but wasn't happy with how it was turning out so stopped like halfway.



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They all feel a bit clunky at first, there's a slight delay between when you start an attack and when it actually lands. So prefer weapons with medium speed and attack.

My favorite was the longsword because it not only hits pretty hard but the combos flow pretty effortlessly and it can power up as the fight goes on. The drawback is that you need to land the finisher hit if your combo which can be tricky with the very mobile monsters. Also, if playing online you can trip the other players if you hit them and ruin their fight.

Now I play mostly switch axe. A bit slower than longsword, but hits harder and has some fun moves.

Insect glaive is fun too, but I never bothered to learn how to absorb the proper monster essence to power it properly. But if you like flashy high flying attacks that can easily topple a monster for an assault you'll like that one.

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I do, and I'd be up for playing sometime later. Don't currently have internet at home, and wouldn't be able to commit to an online hunt during downtime at work.

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Besides being a bit overweight, I don't see anything about that guy that would be off-putting. So why wouldn't he?

As for why I can't, there's nothing of value here. There's no reason for anyone to give me a chance, so they don't. The way I see it, if I was worth being with, someone would've wanted to be with me by now. I don't feel that way about others on here who are in the same boat, so I know it's a double standard, but that's how it plays out.

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No, most of them were supporters or even friends at one point. They hate me for good reasons, and any point they make against me is valid.

I hate that I'm the kind of person who inspired others to feel that way. There's quite a few that I'd love to be friends with again, but seeing as I still get insulted a lot I don't think it's going to happen.

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