Lurker > DespondentDeity

He's anorexic and he's also over training, he's being impatient and pretty much destroying the longevity of his progress to lose the last 10 pounds of his goal. He does 2 hours of cardio and 2 hours of weights on his workout days, and is only drinking a single slimfast shake per day. I imagine his metabolism is operating at the lowest possible level because his body is constantly trying to conserve energy since it's running on empty. Instead of cruciferous greens, lean protein, nuts, and whole grains that would actually accelerate fat loss; he's trying to lose with just that shake and some supplements. He has asked about both lipozene and hydroxycut already. He seems resistant to advice despite the fact that the problems are immediately apparent and could be corrected within days and see him reach his goal in no more than a month.

Not trying to shame or anything, I'm genuinely concerned and I'm really sorry that you feel the way you do, but it's not good for you and if you hit your goal this way you're never going to be able to maintain it.

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Jiek_Fafn posted...

Pushing today's workout to tomorrow. Instead I have to go back to work because someone forgot to do something.

Bummer. I'm skipping today because I just got a huge tattoo on my forearm yesterday and I don't want to be spewing plasma and ink at the gym lol.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

Balrog0 posted...

Look into some bands imo. Very space efficient, cheap and versatile. Easily the best covid fitness purchase I've made

This is a great idea, a few bands and a broom handle and you can simulate a deadlift.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
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I don't buy into manufactured stacks like that at all, it might be effective but this is from a company that got their shit pulled already and came back with a different formula to target lazy, impatient people with more money than sense. If you want to boost fat loss with a stack that actually works and can be put together yourself for pretty cheap, you should try policosanol, alpha lipoic acid (100mg), green tea flavanols, garlic extract.

I don't know why you're trying to rush it so much tho, you're almost there man, you can lose 10 pounds in a month without stacks or anorexia.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

@Jiek_Fafn has recommended this exercise called a superman a few times, I started integrated it as a corrective daily move and I definitely agree with the recommendation as a pretty much daily bodyweight move. Really builds the lumbar, and is actually crazy difficult still even though my anti-flexion lifts are pretty big numbers wise.

Do you have a dumbbell or a kettle bell? You could do a snatch with a kettle bell. There's also this move I learned yesterday with a dumbbell where you lift it off the ground, bring it up to your shoulder, move it over your head, then back down. It has the same motion as a deadlift for the first concentric phase but also incorporates shoulders. You switch the shoulder you bring it to first with each rep. I can't remember what it was called tho, so sorry this is probably unhelpful af lol.

This post is mainly a response to @BreezyExcursion

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
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I mean, I have something I allow myself to be completely undisciplined with too, I crank through a Juul pod everyday. I know I shouldn't, it's bad for me and it's expensive, but everything else in my life is so rigidly structured, I need something that let's me be just a little wild.

What was the drink?

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
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@lincoln002

You deserve a treat every now and then, plus I think about like you lost x amount of weight, one off day isn't gonna have you gain anywhere close to that amount back. Plus, it's not like you reach your target weight then just stop working on fitness, you can't really cause a meaningful delay because it's your entire lifestyle that's different now. Just go harder today, or harder the rest of the week, and don't drink that stuff again for a while.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
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I use PB2 in my version to save 280 calories and a boatload of fat, a little more expensive but I'm still eating in deficit so it's worth it. Since I added the shake my life has been so much easier, easier to count calories and macros and I'm getting more carbs so the energy level has been stable throughout the week.

Have you thought about adding a casein drink right before bed? That was one thing my friend did when he had gotten up to 175. He started at like 118 too. He's at 162 now, cuz he has two kids so he can't really work out as often or eat like he used to.

Honestly, pretty glad I'm coming from the other direction, even tho I have to worry about shit like my nipples ending up in the right spot lol

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
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Eat more, like 3200+

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

That's great progress! I bet you could hit 160 in 5 weeks instead of 8 tho.

I did a weigh in myself last Monday since it'd been almost a month and was at 217. Bringing the weight loss that I can verify to 111 lbs. Before I started, I weighed myself in early November and was at 328, but I definitely gained weight between then and December 27th when I went to the gym for the first time. Seem to be mostly avoiding loose skin, will definitely have some on my stomach when all the belly fat is gone. my entire body is covered in stretch marks but I think it looks badass af, like lightning patterned all over me. I was too afraid to start taking pictures until May, but I'm gonna try to get the picture that Planet Fitness took since it's so wild.

@Balrog0, I feel you man, I just came off my deload this past week, so I tried to make up for it by going as hard as possible, rotating in some new accessories (Svend press yo), and getting pb on everything. However, I kind of lost track of the days and yesterday was my 7th workout in a row and I ended up doing my main lifts at like 60% lmao. Before I even went I kinda felt like I should just take it off, but I couldn't stop myself. I'm gonna cruise around town on my bike today, but I'll take two days off from lifting.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

Balrog0 posted...

Yeah, alcohol consumption is definitely my biggest struggle. It's not super hard to fit in calorie-wise, but there's an inevitable impact on performance too

I'm not sure how true it is, the logic of it made enough sense that I was like, "OK", but I had seen in a youtube video that alcohol consumption interferes with your liver's ability to break down and process fat. The biggest thing is my workouts are so difficult to get to and get through even when I only had two drinks the night before tho. My moods are a lot more stable when I maintain abstinence from it too, but I had a huge problem with it, it was really destructive in my life and I'm grateful to have been able to come so far.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

I think quitting alcohol was fundamental to my weight loss, I've had a total of maybe 10 drinks since December, mostly on dates, never at home, never alone.

You can do it, I think 60 pounds by January is totally achievable. Be careful of that knee tho man, I'd hate to see you out for any longer.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

I can't even imagine ever getting my treadmill mile below like 8 minutes lmao.

I added that bulking shake, and have just been eating more in general and holy shit the muscle growth is insane. The belly is still shrinking too, and the love handles are so nearly gone.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

that can't be more than like 1200 right? seems like a steep cutting amount. You should add a 1000 calorie bulking shake with ground oats, peanut butter, banana, and two scoops protein powder.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

Ghost - Cirice

https://youtu.be/-0Ao4t_fe0I

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

I tweaked what @Flockaveli said into a more poetic turn, I'm gonna paint this shit on my wall as huge as possible.

MOTIVATION IS EPHEMERAL, DISCIPLINE IS ETERNAL

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

NO AGONY NO BRAGONY

Flockaveli posted...

Motivation is fleeting, there is only discipline.

This is so badass dude! Another thing I think of is that motivation extends to a single instance of an activity while discipline encompasses your entire lifestyle.

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The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form.
I never be, I never see, I never know

First day of deload is done, didn't enjoy it as much mentally since I crave picking up heavy shit, but my body feels good and I know I have to cuz some of my lifts are stalled and that's been frustrating af. Do you add reps and sets or just do the same routine at a percentage of the weight? I added a few reps on certain accessories, but I kept the same number of sets for everything. I also only did squats today instead of squats, deadlift, and linear leg press. So it was only a 90 minute session. I figure I'll probably start doing a choose two setup and do each one twice per week, but for this week I'm just going to do each of them once.

That's one of my favorite parts of this journey, is there's so much to learn and you get to make adjustments as you better learn what really works for you.

Also, I take longer breaks like 3 minutes between sets on my mains cuz if I try to rush back into them I'll notice my form weakening and especially on squats I'll get instability starting at the 6th rep on later sets and I can't have that.

Shit's just crazy tho, there was some lady on my mail route that I hadn't seen in maybe 4 months and she thought I was a new employee and asked me if they got rid of the "great big round one" lmao. It felt really good to be like "new body who dis?"

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I do most lifts as 3 x8s, except bench press and deadlift which are 4 x5 and x5 x8 x10, respectively. The atrophy in my left shoulder really hinders my bench progress, but it's evening out quickly now that I added an extra 50g of protein.

Don't feel bad, it's actually becoming pretty clear that I was over training, but I couldn't tell because I had so much body fat that I never felt low on energy. Now that I don't have very much left, my recovery needs are completely different and I've failed to adjust them so I was extremely sore for the past 5 days and had to take 3 of them off. I'm gonna deload on the same routine this week, set PBs at the end of the week and then reformat the entire routine for next week.

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Balrog0 posted...

Damn a 2 hour routine sounds miserable to me dude

I rarely need much more than an hour

I usually do 17 moves, 5 main lifts and 12 accessories. It goes by pretty fast cuz I just tell myself I'm going to count to 408. I really get into a paper rock flow, plus this includes notebook time and people usually wanting to chat a bit.

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Honestly vegan protein is fine, it has a different taste usually where you can really tell it's plant based, but it all goes to the same place and if you're mixing it with milk almost every protein I've tried has been fine flavor wise. If it's 15g it's probably less than 100 calories per scoop too.

I just get the ON Gold Standard whey isolate from Walmart tho because it's $1 per scoop, then I transfer two bags of it into a big container from when ON was on a crazy discount at GNC.

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I can't go in the morning because my routine is over 2 hours long. I go right after work because the gym is 30 seconds away.

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Sunhawk can drive?

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I've actually never had shrimp with Mexican seasoning, I bet it's amazing, plus you're in Massachusetts, right? So it's probably fresh af. Not only does that look delicious, the imgur had this badass gif right near the top. I don't like crossfit shit for myself, but I definitely respect the hell out of these athletes. I watched that Fittest in Dubai documentary on Netflix, it was fascinating and a pretty good motivator.

https://imgur.com/gallery/AysnCj6

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Zodd3224 posted...

That sounds lovely

It's absolutely delicious, this 24 hour Mexican joint has amazing food and you have to wait like 30 minutes minimum no matter when you go. I've been avoiding meat for the most part for the past 6 months tho so that much steak is actually painful.

Oh btw I finally remembered to grab that shake recipe for you.

1 cup oats
1 banana
4 tbps peanut butter
16 oz water or 12 oz milk (+225 cal)
1 scoop whey

Super simple. He'll add some strawberries sometimes and either spirulina or moringa leaves if he can find it. Moringa shouldn't be consumed more than once or twice a week tho.

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I ate carne asada fries today with ass loads of cheese, sour cream, and guac. My stomach is absolutely fucked.

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Yeah dude become King of the Pigpen and you'll be rolling in sloppy pussy all day.

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Wax

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Pus_N_Pecans posted...

It worked out in the end, despite the pain of feeling trapped in between for first year or having to cut my family out of my life. Im a much happier person today, and though sometimes I still feel nervous around certain types of people, overall my anxiety is a lot more manageable.

You have a really powerful story, I'm grateful you decided to share. I'm really proud of you, and I'm so happy that you are living as you now and that you have supports to turn to when things get tough. You and your boyfriend are so beautiful and cute. :)

It took me like 15 years to figure out how toxic my family was and how deeply their abuse had brutalized my self esteem. Even now, my grandma recently texted me a family photo captioned "You were missed" when I wasn't even invited in the first place let alone a sociopath that would fly to Arizona in the midst of this pandemic. I wanted to call her out on it but I would rather not be involved at all with her gaslighting and guilt tripping, and for the first time as an adult I realized that's a choice I can make for myself.

Maybe someday, your family will come around and decide to see that you are living in a way that expresses your true self, and that you're now a more complete person for it. Either way the fact that you've come as far as you have is a testament to how strong you are. Here's a song for you.

The Uncluded - Teleprompters

https://youtu.be/meYMsri6VIU

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mattymad posted...

Hello this is phone

Hello

Yes this is dog

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Pus_N_Pecans posted...

I really appreciate your honesty. I think most people are programmed to view pain as something to avoid or to distract themselves from, but its only when youre willing to let yourself feel and to examine those feelings, that youre able to grow as a person.

I agree wholeheartedly with you. I'm not sure if you're familiar with any of Soren Kierkegard's writing, but he laid out in his Concept of Dread the idea that without some form of indeterminate catalyst, humans would stagnate in their passivity. He said that that catalyst was what would later be termed "anxiety", and that in order to attain self actualization, one was required to approach situations that made them fearful in order to both gain power over themselves and to enact drastic, meaningful life changes. Rollo May expanded on this in his interpretation by describing that prison of fear as a type of living death, ultimately the outcome of life is the same for all persons, they will inevitably reach their final moment and pass from this world, but those bound by anxiety will do so twice, suffering the pain of death throughout their entire life until they unshackle themselves from it. There's also this bit in Ishmael that posits one reason a lot of people allow themselves to become entombed this way, is that they're not even aware of what's binding them. It's hard to tell you're in prison if you look around and don't see any bars.

That was an idea I rejected over and over because it meant I had more responsibility for my emotions than I was ready to admit, but once I really started paying attention to the cycle of actions and feelings that led to the living death I found myself in, it seemed pretty obvious that they had found some truth in life.

I appreciate you. You're a kind, supportive person, it's easy to open up to someone who tries to genuinely understand before making an assessment. There were a lot of people here who inspired me too, you were one of them.

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R1masher posted...

Are red wolves in Washington? I know nutria are, Washington river rats has a nice ring

Then when they fail a conversion we can yell, "YOU PLAGUE RIDDEN RAT!"

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@No_U_L7

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I never be, I never see, I never know

These chicks go to my gym.

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One of the most difficult things for me was opening myself up to the concept of living as an activity or an experience, rather than simply the given state of being. I closed myself off because I was a coward who was afraid of pain.

Whenever bad or emotionally painful things happened to me, it poured into my brittle heart as overwhelming waves of anger and sadness, fear and doubt, anxiety, depression. I didn't know how to let it go, so I held onto it, resentful and violent thoughts started to form, and I made myself sick with how I started to view other humans, I would see monsters everywhere I looked. I hated going into public, I couldn't bear to see people or the thought of anyone seeing me.

I just shut down, I told myself that if life refused to make me happy, I would refuse to participate. I called this self reliance, but I wasn't effective as a reliable person to begin with; I was capricious, self obsessed, and lazy. In that isolation, the pain only multiplied until the only thing I was certain of about myself was that I was alone, truly, unfathomably alone, it became the only feature of my identity. I worked, and I had a friend there, but I often treated him poorly, lashing out and raising my voice at him, because he had everything I thought I needed to feel complete, things like a house, a beautiful wife, a family that didn't abuse him. I didn't realize until later, I wasn't angry at him for being able to achieve those things, I was angry at myself for failing to become the person I wanted to be. Those things didn't matter and even if I had them at that point I wouldn't have respected them because I didn't respect myself. I wanted it, but I never believed that I actually deserved anything good until I learned to respect who I was.

The most painful lesson was that I would never become that person if I continued to be passive about how I lived my life. I had to participate, I had to put forth effort, and I had to risk failing again and again. I was so afraid at first, I didn't want to try only to end up quitting.

I was maybe two weeks into going to the gym, trying to be regular about it, and this is before I had added any other forms of self care. I had the most frightening thought I've ever had. I hated working out, it was difficult, it hurt, I hated the people seeing me, and I didn't see any changes so I was sure it wasn't working and that I was wasting my time and money. I realized that if I didn't quit, I would have to go do this thing I hated for the rest of my life, and I was so afraid of committing to something like that, I left immediately and just cried all day until my face was wracked with horrible pain. I didn't go the next day, or the next, or even the day after that. I was quitting. I had already quit before I had started, but I thought I could justify quitting if it appeared that I gave it a try. I tried to tell myself that I didn't want to be transformed, I wanted to stay ugly and be alone until I died. I did that a lot, told myself lies about me to validate my passivity.

I had already changed a little bit mentally tho. I had started to find profound inspiration in seemingly banal platitudes and lyrics about self reliance and the nature of life's struggles. I was listening to a Grimes song, and she sang this line like, "every morning there are mountains to climb, taking all my time, but when I get up this is what I see, welcome to reality" and even though I'd heard this song hundreds of times before, it just fell on me that I couldn't give up.

There's always going to be struggles, and how fiercely I struggle is what defines my self worth, if I fight hard enough against that fear and doubt by doing things that exalt and give reverence to myself, when I wake up, I see something that is beautiful beyond imagining. I see someone that I love and who loves me every single time I look in the mirror.

When I started to take responsibility for validating myself, the pain of living was dulled to imperceptibility, and the judgment of empty people who have no self respect just flows around me. I still feel it, I can acknowledge and understand what it is, I might feel sad or upset, but it doesn't cling to me and I don't feel that obligation to hold onto it either.

I'm just kinda journaling here, idk, I see so many people on this board who act just like I used to, and maybe if this story moves one person to try and change their mind about themselves and try to build up a life worth living, that's gotta be a good thing.

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At least you didn't fire the YIKES cannon dude

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KogaSteelfang posted...

How did you manage to overcome that? If you have.

I just added pieces of something resembling self care, and through a series of small victories I came to understand that a lot of my problems with the world were merely reflections of the problems I had with myself. I was choosing to live a diseased lifestyle and I was afraid to think about the future because I couldn't even face myself in the present. Nothing had happened to me that I couldn't overcome, I just hadn't even worked hard enough to say "at least I tried".

That realization was extremely profound for me, so I built an entire routine with the objective of cultivating self respect, and I nourished it with discipline and a commitment to love myself so that whatever self assurance I gained would become enduring rather than ephemeral. I always felt so helpless and weak, like I was caught in a current and didn't know where I was going, so I decided to become strong. Not just physically, but I wanted to become strong enough to grasp the self assurance that always seemed out of reach.

I focused all my energy onto only the things that were within my control, and stopped devoting any amount of time thinking about anything I couldn't. I stopped using drugs and alcohol. I created a workout routine that keeps me busy for 12 to 15 hours a week. I started eating healthy foods and taking a multivitamin. I set up a skin care routine. There were more things, but basically I just started treating my body like it was something that was worthy of love, as time passed and I stuck to the routine I started to actually love myself.

I just thought about the person I wanted to be, how I wanted to express myself, and I avowed my dedication to it daily by only taking actions that would help me achieve it. I practiced being mindful and present, every single day, every single interaction. I didn't give myself time to be miserable because I was focusing in each moment on the objective I intended to reach and the next step I would need to reach it.

I'll never forget how intensely I cried when I looked in the mirror and felt like I was worth something. I genuinely respected and loved myself for the first time, and it wasn't some transient validation I'd gotten from anyone else, I had earned it, I made myself matter to me first.

@KogaSteelfang , you have a gentle spirit and you are a fine looking dude. Your family constantly abused you emotionally and psychologically, but their greatest sin is that they only taught you how to hate and abuse yourself by maintaining the negative self perception their actions and words reinforced your entire life. You always look sad in your pictures and I think it's because no one ever taught you how to be happy, I was the same and I believed that I'd live and die having never known what it meant to have pride in myself. I always looked to someone else to shelter me from the hatred I felt toward myself and I always focused on hurtful things people had said as a way to limit my responsibility for my own feelings of hatred, but the only way forward is to just let go of it. The way I've found that worked for me is to just start by pretending and treating myself like I could be someone that I cared about. I started drawing out the strong person I wanted to be, and I used that strength to take control of my life and claim my self respect. I have had failures on this journey, and I still make mistakes all the time, but it never hurts to fail anymore because I know that I put forth my best effort and I can take pride in that, learn from it, and just try something new.

Your life is far from over, but you have to start living it if you ever want to feel happy, that means all of it, the good parts and the bad parts. There's plenty of both AND there's a way to find hope no matter what happens. You don't believe in yourself, so just become someone you can believe in.

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All beige suit made outta white women.

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