Lurker > Panthera

RIP air conditioning

Now you have to suffer like I do. Though you probably live somewhere warmer than me, so you have to suffer more than I do. But only for a while. Then you go back to blissfully not suffering like I do.

---

Meow!

Pretty terrible.

---

Meow!

Holy fuck

---

Meow!

All of the main series except for the original, plus Warriors.

---

Meow!

A girl and a boy were walking through the park one day. The girl asked the boy if he would love her forever. He said yes, of course. She asked if he would always be with her. He said yes, of course. Then she said she felt like he was being a bit too possessive and asked if he'd give her some time to herself. He apologized and said he'd leave her be until she got back in touch with him. A week later, she called him. She was furious that he didn't even try to talk to her during all that time. He said he was just trying to respect her desire for some time alone. She said she was just testing to see if he really meant that he loved her. She said she'd be willing to forgive him but they needed to meet up and talk to see if it would work. But when the time to meet came, the boy never showed up. The girl called him and, crying, asked why he wasn't there. He replied that he wasn't going to put up with her jerking him around and lying so he decided to ditch her. He further revealed that he'd decided to start dating a vastly superior Soviet girl. The girl burst into even more tears than before, but then the new girl came on the line and told her it would all be okay because in the end, you get out of life what you put in. The girl realized she'd never put anything into life because life wasn't a thing you insert other things into, and then she promptly ceased to exist. The boy and his new girl lived happily ever after.

---

Meow!

Silque UN 9
Raven UN 8
Tana UN 8
Titania UN (9) 10
Titania UN (10) 8
Heather UN 3
Chrom UN 7

Silque has Warp. And other stuff I guess but mainly Warp. Raven has hilarious bases and while he's sword locked briefly, he can quickly get to level 10 and promote to one of your best combat units for the rest of the game, though he's comfortably behind the more mobile units that also kill shit. Tana is the worst unpromoted flier in FE8 but still pretty good, especially on Eirika route because flight is always great and she can catch up decently fast. FE9 Titania is god, essentially. In Radiant Dawn she's obviously far worse, but she's still one of the better units in part 3 and can still do work in part 4 until the tower. Heather is a thief in a game where there's relatively few things to acquire unless you do some dumb strength grinding shit that isn't reliable at all. Chrom is generic Awakening dude, but with better availability and gets to be part of the game's optimal strategy pretty much by default.

---

Meow!

That General Robert E. Lee's name?

Albert Einstein

---

Meow!

I'd tell her I'm always the best man anywhere I go. If she still wants me to do it after that shitty joke, of course I do it.

---

Meow!

Dimitri CH 10

Jake UN (11) 9
Jake UN (12) 1
Lachesis UN 9
Sophia UN 1
Renault UN 2
Cherche UN 5
Dimitri UN 9

SD Jake is the godly Ballistician class which automatically makes him great because 10 range can break the game sometimes. Then in NM you don't get to have artillery anymore and he becomes yet another "I die to everything and do nothing" shitter. Lachesis doesn't do much at first but you're reliant on her promoted self to get shit done in chapters 4 and 5 since she's the only healer that can keep up. Sophia is, of course, a useless piece of shit. She's awful to the point that she'd still be terrible if she joined in chapter 1 instead of chapter 14. She doesn't even amount to anything noteworthy if trained. Renault is a nice utility unit but his availability is awful and you likely don't have room for him. Cherche is a generic Awakening unit. Dimitri is great.

---

Meow!

Pooping

---

Meow!

DrizztLink posted...

then who was phone

Such is life in Moscow

---

Meow!

Also I'm echoing that this is a few too many characters to be doing all at once

---

Meow!

Kliff UN 5
Julia UN 5
Tanya UN 2
Milady UN 10
Guy UN 4
Dozla UN 4
Kieran UN (9) 9
Kieran UN (10) 4
Lissa UN 7
Subaki UN 5
Leonie UN 9

Kliff is a bit underwhelming because his base speed is horrific with nothing to really make up for it or fix it, leaving him at a crippling speed deficit for quite a while. You use everyone in this game so eventually his growths kick in, but all that really does is bring him up to par, never makes him special. Julia does generic FE4 staff stuff, has weird availability and gets the strongest weapon ever when there's one enemy left in the game. Tanya is trash. Milady is amazing, availability is her only serious weakness. Monstrous bases, great offensive growths, can promote immediately, flies...this girl is silly. Guy on the other hand is unremarkable, he's got a couple chapters of being good before the usual swordlock foot unit thing comes along to cripple him (still better than Lyn though! Not that that's saying much).

Dozla is filler who can function but you'll probably never want to bother. PoR Kieran is great, solid bases in a great class in a game where little else matters make him a no brainer for inclusion on your team. Then RD comes along and he gets hit with the RD availability plague, meaning he gets a couple chapters where he's good and then he just kind of isn't worth it anymore because he doesn't exist long enough to catch up with other units. Lissa can heal/Rescue. Subaki can disappoint you with his continuous mediocrity. And Leonie can occasionally stop being obnoxious long enough to be a very good unit, probably one of the best students.

---

Meow!

1234Life posted...

A girl and a boy were driving a car. Suddenly the boy stopped the car and asked the girl to step out of the vehicle, without any explanation. The girl got pissed, removed all her facebooks and ripped all the photos.

The next day the girl heard that the boy had died, as he had driven into a wall. The boy had noticed that there was a wall infront of them, had stopped the car, and saved the girls life before he had driven into the wall.

XD

---

Meow!

A girl and a boy were walking home from school one day when they decided to take a detour through the local forest. As they walked between the trees, the girl stopped the boy and asked him if he'd love her forever. The boy replied "I can't, I'm going to die tomorrow". The girl wrote it off as a joke. They went to the boys house and spent the night together. They got into an argument shortly after midnight though, and it quickly turned ugly. The girl lost her cool and shoved the boy, who lost his footing and fell down the stairs, breaking his neck and killing him. The girl was devastated. She ran out of the house and went to the nearest bridge. As she was about to jump off, she felt like she could hear someone calling out to her. She looked around and was astonished to see the boy's ghost. He smiled and said he had been given a few extra moments in the living world to do one last thing. He walked up to her and strangled her. Two weeks later the boy's older sister and the girl's older brother started dating. On the anniversary of their siblings' deaths, they visited the graveyard together. Unfortunately, they got eaten by a dinosaur. The woman's last words were "Please don't die". The man's last words were "That dinosaur's name? Albert Einstein".

---

Meow!

Kenri posted...

Darros is a pirate. His personality? Also pirate. And yet, could be more pirate. 5 pirates out of 10

But he wants to give up being a pirate!

---

Meow!

The only person I can even say anything interesting about here is Vyland, and even then it's better sitting on until Wolf/Sedgar come around because they're the better ones.

Unit wise almost everyone here is just the bad version of someone else, with the others being just bad on their own. The only guy that would be relevant is SD Frey, but he's only playable on Normal so he kind of inherently can't be very good because he can't actually help you at all on the difficulties where it would matter.

---

Meow!

Flight alone is already enough to be inherently not useless. Her durability is kind of bad but that's what the Lyn Mode Angelic Robe is for (also Energy Ring). There's little reason to not feed her as much as you can along the way (and she'll always be in position thanks to her movement, unless she's off flying somewhere helpful in which case she's helping you out anyway) because having strong fliers >>> not having them. Without Lyn Mode she's a lot worse but still can't be called useless because flight is a thing

---

Meow!

Every Fire Emblem character that joins late in the game with shitty bases. Most "shitty bases, high growths" units in general really

---

Meow!

Deciding, eventually, that you like someone who acted friendly towards you because the plot told him it would help somehow more than the creepy old guy who helped you ruin your life and also has made it pretty clear he wants you dead and replaced with a better servant...is not much of a redemption

---

Meow!

Corrin (M) CH 1
Corrin (F) CH 1

Conquest Corrin is maybe the worst protagonist ever. Still bad enough on the other routes to get the worst possible rating.

Ogma UN (11) 5
Ogma UN (12) 6
Linde UN (11) 3
Linde UN (12) 7
Clair UN 3
Finn UN (4) 9
Finn UN (5) 8
Ronan UN 2
Corrin UN 10

SD Ogma is pretty good for a few chapters, but even there he's not amazing. Falls off fairly quickly because swordlock sucks in SD and he doesn't have cavalier to reclass to, meaning he quickly turns into an Armorslayer bot that otherwise has no offense or durability worth mentioning. Least he has those few good chapters! In NM he's a fair bit better due to having more functional bases, being useful in the prologue briefly and access to class set A and the Paladin/Swordmaster options it brings (plus swords are better), but still nothing special. SD Linde has beefy chip damage with Aura and little else, in NM she's fairly good due to being around so early with Aura's huge might and she can do some fun stuff with Nosferatu once in a while, plus later on she can rock the Levin Sword Swordmaster set up quite well.

Clair manages to be a rare not so good pegasus knight, mainly due to having pretty crappy bases (even her speed is unremarkable!). Falcoknight, while toned down from the original, is still a powerhouse class but it's a long ways off and Alm doesn't have as many monsters to fight anyway. FE4 Finn is a weird dude to talk about due to his availability being the way it is. He's one of your better units in the first gen when he's there, especially in chapters 2 and 3, then he's important for chapter 7 and decent filler until the final chapter eventually gets to be too much for him. Pretty important guy overall!

FE5 Finn is a strong dude with a leadership star and a dumb good personal weapon, lot less impressive indoors and fades from relevance when the almighty Warp staff kicks in though. Ronan is bad. Like, really bad. His extra move relative to other unpromoted foot units can help with chapter 3 but that's about the extent of his talents. Corrin is obviously super strong, probably the best unit in Fates overall.

---

Meow!

You want to focus on either a physical or magic build, but ignore strength no matter what because it sucks, it's only your main damage stat on the regular attack command that you never use in serious fights. Actual physical skills benefit much more from dexterity for some reason, so a physical build and a gun based build look the same and can mix and match each damage type at will. Luck and agility are still worth having some of, but not as much as your damage stat.

---

Meow!

Lucius UN 7
Tanith UN (9) 9
Tanith UN (10) 5
Reyson UN (9) 10
Reyson UN (10) 10
Libra UN 6
Shamir UN 7

Lucius is solid enough but being frail does suck in FE7 and he joins at a bit of an awkward time where deployment slots are scarce and there's several maps in a row he's not ideal for. PoR Tanith is great, great class and her personal skill is hilariously good, stats are respectable too though nothing special. She's a lot weaker in RD. Dancers are 10/10 as usual. Libra is the epitome of a guy who exists but at least he starts in a class with staff utility. Shamir is your standard generic TH person in archer form

---

Meow!

I'd be willing to find out if she's ready

---

Meow!

teepan95 posted...

Beat the Minotaur

I feel like most people's first playthroughs of this game have a whole hell of a lot more to say about this

---

Meow!

Camilla CH 2

Gerik UN 8
Ike UN (9) 4
Ike UN (10) 10
Olivia UN 10
Camilla UN 10
Manuela UN 6

Gerik is pretty strong and can promote right away but always has that annoying choice between 1-2 range and an extra point of move holding him back, plus he joins a bit late on Ephraim route. Still he's almost always going to be deployed once he's around. PoR Ike has very shaky bases and is a swordlocked foot unit in a game where mounted classes dominate and 1-2 range enemy phase combat is essential. He can chip in at times and is silly good for the last two chapters of the game but that's not enough to be a good unit. Then RD comes along and gives swords a weak but still existent 1-2 range option, makes his bases great and gives him Ragnell for much longer.

Olivia is a dancer so 10/10 by default. Memes about Galeforce do not factor in because that's not a thing in any context where ratings can exist. Camilla has good availability, monstrous bases, stays strong basically forever and has a very useful personal skill to let other units do stuff better, she's kind of good (obnoxious character whose good qualities exist solely to frustrate you by being poorly handled, though). Manuela is generic Three Houses unit who is probably on the weaker side of the bunch.

---

Meow!

Man fan was a planet, and there were 97 degrees outside

---

Meow!

I am disappointed but not surprised to find out there's apparently an audience for something like this

---

Meow!

I Wanna Be The Guy

---

Meow!

I'll have the latter platter, don't drop it or it will splatter

---

Meow!

Sherry_Tueli posted...

He has to make you want to use a cute girl that nukes enemies so doesn't need speed to double after OHKO'ing whatever low res enemy you send her against

At capped magic she doesn't OHKO chapter 21 and 23 Wyvern Lords with Aircalibur despite the effective bonus, not even guaranteed to OHKO the Wyvern Riders either. OHKOs don't really happen without the S rank weapons and you don't get a lot of shots of those (and almost every functional unit can ORKO stuff with them)

---

Meow!

I'd be pretty worried given my mother died nearly three years ago. This call doesn't happen unless my father had some sort of mental breakdown so that's not good.

---

Meow!

Yes. In fact, our impending destruction is the most popular reality TV show out there

---

Meow!

Why are you posting a picture of my dog wearing his human suit?

---

Meow!

Mewtwo59 posted...

Lilina is bad. She joins at level 1 on what is essentially 8x, because she spends most of chapter 8 locked up. Her skill is terrible in a game that has low hit rates to begin with

Low skill on a mage isn't too bad, because Fire tomes have a glorious 95 hit, tied for the most of any weapon in the game. They're one of the only weapons exempt from Binding Blade's low hit syndrome. Even the 80 hit Thunder tome is still pretty accurate by FE6 standards, that's Slim Lance/Iron Bow territory

---

Meow!

I think I've lost interest in character ratings <_<

Lex UN 9
Lilina UN 2
Nephenee UN (9) 3
Nephenee UN (10) 5
Lonqu UN 5
Lorenz UN 7

Lex is very good, though clearly behind the top three first gen units and even after two of them leave other people have pulled ahead of him. Accuracy can be shaky and a fair number of enemies can take 2 hits from him, but really if he doesn't get a 9 who in the first gen does? Lilina is terrible, gets ORKO'd by a huge chunk of her joining map, takes ages to get caught up and never stops being on the slower side, and staff rank on promotion isn't much of a selling point in a game where it takes something like seven hundred and thirty six million years and two days to go up a staff rank.

PoR Nephenee has bad bases and is a foot unit in the game where you either have one of the good classes, bases that are strong right off the bat or you don't matter. RD Neph is better and the game doesn't hate her quite as much, but her bases are once again sketchy and RD is still hostile to growth units, though she's around in the parts that aren't as bad in that regard at least. Lon'qu...exists? Lorenz is solid but nothing special, I think "solid but nothing special" and being undecided between 7 and 8 is my default state for at least two thirds of the Three Houses case <_<

---

Meow!

WickIebee posted...

n a game with more notable 90% accuracy missing way more often than you'd think.

This isn't a thing. The only issue with FE6's RNG is a bug that is only ever noticeable in one extremely rare situation (a status staff with 100 displayed hit has something like a 0.03% chance of missing). Otherwise it's identical to the other two GBA games

---

Meow!

And that's how you find out who your enemies are

---

Meow!

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

---

Meow!

I don't know where I am, how I got here, what happened to my clothes, who did this to me or why I'm a girl all of a sudden. This is very frightening. You guys are my only hope, please save me. Shit, b8 is my only hope. I'm done for. Been nice knowing y'all. Except for you. You know who you are.

---

Meow!

I think I want to try to get them to spend just a few seconds understanding why I'm so utterly disgusted by their behavior before I finally give in and deliver unto them the punishment they deserve in the form of a vicious beating with a teddy bear

---

Meow!

Shit, I'm not trapped under my roof anymore? It's supposed to rain tonight, the fuck am I going to do now?

---

Meow!

Lucavi000 posted...

That's cause everyone scared cucks. Rock dont give no fucks.

I can see scenarios where cucks get trapped under some naked people

---

Meow!

I am trapped naked under a woman current

---

Meow!

I once had a dream that I owned a restaurant where all the employees were expected to be naked on the job, but I didn't actually see any of them because I spent the whole time focused on a legal battle I was having over being accused of discrimination by an intelligent octopus I didn't hire. Or maybe that wasn't a dream, just the future.

---

Meow!

Sain CH 4

I'll be honest, I give so little of a shit about these people that I'm too lazy to just type 5 a bunch of times for all the utterly irrelevant people I have no feelings about one way or the other. Sain is a little annoying so he gets special treatment.

Abel UN (11) 9
Cain UN (11) 7
Abel UN (12) 2
Cain UN (12) 5
Lance UN 9
Allen UN 9
Sain UN 10
Kent UN 10
Franz UN 9
Forde UN 6

SD Abel is one of the best units, not quite on par with the gods but he has functional bases in a good class and the all important D lances. Cain is similar in stats but has D swords instead and that sucks because he can't throw Javelins for a while, especially since building lance rank early without them is really slow due to all the early axes (and the Steel Sword access doesn't help much since Ogma or occasionally Jagen will tend to have it, at least until axes mostly disappear), which in turn puts him farther behind on getting Ridersbane. Because of this he levels up more slowly and falls behind a bit. Still good and he becomes a typical good Paladin eventually, but the time getting there is a big black mark against him because Shadow Dragon is not a friendly game to be a growth unit in. In NM Cain is good briefly in the prologue and barely functional when he rejoins, while Abel is another late joining "everything kills me" scrub.

Allen and Lance are both very good, useful early, useful later, never your best units but usually pretty high up there. Sain and Kent I'm assuming Lyn Mode for, which makes them beasts. Sain in particular due to his monster strength, but Kent is still excellent. Without Lyn Mode they're pretty sketchy, especially Sain. Franz is great with his only weakness being that existing in a game with Seth can hurt the old experience gain, but he still keeps up better than most. Forde...is a cavalier so he's good enough, but his bases leave a lot to be desired.

---

Meow!

If I've dealt with waking up feeling crappy a lot due to insomnia for almost my entire life, I can definitely deal with it while also being filthy rich

---

Meow!

We wouldn't be having this conversation if they weren't

---

Meow!